Teh besterest fanfic EVAR!!!!!!!!!1, by #YOLOTwixie4evar#mlp

PONYvil

Trixie blinked in surprise as she took in her new surroundings. One moment, she'd been in Manehatten, entertaining the people there, and the next, she was in... that town. The very town that had booed her off stage, and she'd later tried to rule as a magical dictator. Readjusting her hat and cloak, she tried to run away-

-Only to suddenly be in front of a tree building thing. She blinked.

"What." What was so important about this-

She glanced up at the signpost; an open book, how lovely, a library-

-this library that she had to be teleported here? Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie was not some mare you could just teleport against her will! With a sniff, she turned away and trotted away, muzzle pointing firmly in the air and eyes closed.

She managed to get to the outskirts before she was teleported back again. This time, her hoof was almost about to open the door when she stopped. She glared at the door.

"So, you are conspiring with the wheels, eh? You want to incur the wrath... of The Great... AND POWERFUL... TRIXIE?! Fine! So be it!" Trixie's rage built up as she delved through her library of spells, eventually finding her favourite firework spell and releasing it at the door. It seemed to go in its general direction, but then it warped away, hitting another building.

"What?" So, The Impertinent Door thought to deflect her spells? Well, she could kick the door in. She reared back, legs coiled for a mighty buck-

The door opened and a familiar lavender glow pulled her in before she could scream. She glared at her greatest rival- Twilight Sparkle, the mare who had bested her twice!

and as trixiej loked in2 Twi's lavancar5 orbs she felt an imaense ahtracthion an-

Trixie blinked. Whatever that stream of gibberish had meant she had no idea. However, it seemed as if Twilight knew what it meant, as she groaned and slammed the door shut, bolting it with several high-power spells.

"Ah, hello Trixie, good to see you, but this is a terrible time, so you're going to have to stay here for a bit." Trixie blinked.

"Since when was Twilight Sparkle so fond of me, The Great and Powerful Trixie?! The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes to know!" Twilight blinked, then slapped herself in the forehead.

"Figures..."

"WHAT, pray, figures?" Twilight looked at Trixie with a deadpan glare.

"Amnesia Sprites."

"...what? What do you mean, Amnesia Sprites?"

"They show up sometimes in terrible fanfiction like this. A character gets bitten by one of these things, it makes them forget about who they are. Makes great fuel for... fics like these." Trixie continued to glare at Twilight, hre lips pouting in dat sexi way, mm, yeah, u kno tat sexy way dat pones pouetm yeahm it awa liek dat and triie was doin it and stuff-

"NO MORE OF THAT!" Twilight blasted the area with magic. When it cleared, a fat, bearded... ape, for want of a better word, was suddenly in the room with them. Trixie screamed and shot a firework at the beast, hitting it and causing an explosion of spaghetti, fat, and assorted tiny figurines of ponies. Twilight stared at the mess with a deadpan look on her face.

"Right. I forgot that doing any spell above a simple barrier or a cantrip would summon humans. Why this is so popular is beyond me. I mean, you screw up a couple of spells ONE TIME, and then you're branded, 'That stupid purple unicorn can't cast a spell without summoning eldritch creatures from another plane of existence!' Do you know how stupid that is?!" Twilight panted for breath, mane frazzled. Trixie hesitantly cleared her throat, trying to sort out all the facts.

"So you summon... huge hairy beasts... when you do high level spells... I'm guessing that isn't a normal occurrence?" Twilight shook her head.

"Nope, it's just a convenient plot device that bad writers use."

"Plot... device?" Trixie blinked, then laughed.

"Right, this is all a dream, and any moment now I'll wake up-"

and then she woke up, ans Tiwlihgt aws waeerin dis sexai nurse outfit.

"'her trixie wan try sommat nwe/'

"GAH!" Trixie and Twilight leaped back in complete shock and horror. Twilight systematically removed the outfit piece by piece and burned it, while Trixie levitated the bed in front of her as a protective shield.

"What... The buck... were you doing." Trixie gritted her teeth, already firing up several offensive spells. Twilight shook her head.

"No nononononononononono, Trixie, you've got it all wrong! It's the author trying to get us to be in his... ugh... 'Twixie' paring." More confusing words that Trixie didn't exactly profess to understand.

"Could you explain to The Great and Powerful Trixie jsut what the buck is going on?!" Twilight clapped.

"That's good! Keep acting canon! It'll stave off the author's terrible writing!"

Trixie had had enough. There is a time, when everything makes no bucking sense, that a mare just has to do some things. So, Trixie took in a deep breath, straightened her hat, and screamed. It was a scream that made Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice seem like a whisper in comparision. Books shook off the shelves, dust was blown across the floor, and Trixie herself seemed to grow taller as she vented her rage against live, the universe, and everything.

"WHAT THE BUCKING TARTARUS DO YOU MEAN?! I SWEAR TO CELESTIA, LUNA AND FAUST HERSELF, IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A RATIONAL EXPLANATION FOR ALL OF THE MADNESS THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON, I SWEAR, I WILL GO ON THE BUCKING WARPATH!!!"

Twilight winced.

"Okay, okay! There's no reason to shout."

So, she explained.

Trixie listened as she was told everything about the My Little Pony with a raised eyebrow. She smirked when she heard that Twilight was the supposed 'main character' of the fourth generation of moving pictures on a 'teevee,' whatever that was. Twilight then explained that Trixie had only ever appeared in two episodes, both times as an antagonist. She'd also apparently been in a 'feeture length movy,' something that the fans both loved and hated.

"So, they liked The Great and Powerful Trixie that much?" Twilight nodded.

"Yep! You're probably the third most popular pony, I guess!"

"...Who beat The Great and Powerful Trixie in popularity!?"

"Well, the Bronies-"

"Bronies?"

"They're like grown stallions who like playing with dolls. Some of them are kind of cool, but the minority are extremely bad at writing, like the author of this fanfic."

"Ah, got you. Do go on. The Great and Unknowledgeable Trixie wishes to hear more!"

"Right... anyway, they liked Princess Luna, probably because she was Nightmare Moon and had a sad backstory. Then, when she appeared again, they liked her even more."

Trixie nodded grudgingly. She might have been a bit narcissistic, but even she knew that the Princesses deserved respect.

"Oh, and Derpy is regarded as the most awesome pony in general."

Trixie looked at her.

"...who's Derpy?" Twilight winced.

"Technically, she's an animation error that the fanbase caught on to." Trixie just rubbed her head.

"You know, The Great and Powerful Trixie is still convinced that this is all some dream or-"

Suddenly, they were downstairs.

"-Something." Trixie blinked.

"See?! Like that!" Twilight wasn't listening, instead looking at a book.

"Oh no... Not this one! Please, you HAVE to go with this?!" Trixie looked at the book. It seemed to be... well, either it was a feminine stallion or a mare with a...

"Why do you have a book like that?" Twilight shook her head.

"I don't! That's just the author trying to make this a futa fic!" She turned to Trixie, desparingly.

"You can save yourself, but I can't!" Trixie noticed that Twilight was struggling not to go over to the book.

"It's the author... he's... trying to get a sex scene happening... run, Trixie... run as fast as you can!" As Trixie barrelled upstairs, she ran past the purple dragon running away form a small white foal.

"HELP! I have a crush on your sister, not you!"

"But I love you Spikey-wikey!"

"AAH!" Trixie shook her head. Finding the window, she jumped through it, past a small orange filly who caused...

What was that? It seemed to be an expanding ring of orange and yellow fire-

She was grabbed by Rainbow Dash.

"OH COME ON, AUTHOR!"

"What do you want with me?!" Rainbow Dash looked at her.

"Oh, hey Trixie. Yeah, this is some horseapples, ain't it? I mean, what the hell is a 'Sonic Fireboom supposed to be, anyway? I'll tell you: Horseapples made up by the author. I mean, sure, Scootaloo could probably do it, but then again, really? What's wrong with a RAINboom, you hacks?"

Before she could continue, she disappeared. Trixie plumeted a short distance. Landing on all four hooves, she took off for the borders of the town. As she ran, one thought was prevalent in her mind.

WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS PLACE?!