Warcraft is Magic

Edited my MrMinimii

The guards ushered them into the throne room to a waiting Princess of the Sun “Good, you have finally arrived,” a calm, soft voice said over a conversation between Badger and Thunder.

Badger looked over and immediately bowed to the alabaster alicorn. “Princess.”

“I’m glad you got here... though not what I would call ‘As soon as possible’.”

“Had some complications from a few weeks ago..”

Suddenly the air in the throne room began to crackle and small bolts of yellow lightning shot from a slowly expanding event horizon.  The air ripped open revealing a swirling vortex of golden light that sent two figures shooting out of the portal, crashing through a wall on the opposite side of the room.

“Ouch...”

“O shit! Is your leg supposed to bend like that?”

“Considering it is scratching the back of my head... no.” There was a quick flash of light followed by two sighs of relief.  “Ok note to self: dimension hopping is bad for your health.” A head poked out of the hole and came face to spear head with several angry looking guards.

“What is this thing?” One of the guards questioned.  Celestia moved closer to the hole in the wall and caught a glimpse of the intruder.

        “That thing,” she said with intrigue, “Is an Elf, and we haven't seen one of them in over a millenia.”

        Azok turned around and shouted into the hole. “Hey Vinny, we landed in the throne room at the castle!”

        The Goblin popped his head out of the hole. “Hell ya!”

        “Well it seems fortune favors us today.  I was about to summon you both here.”

        “Can we ask why?”

        “I will tell you, but for now please go stand next to Badger and Gilda.”

        “Twelve hours ago a terrorist named Lust enslaved every male in Manehatten ; we believe she used an advanced want-it-need-it spell.  We want  you four to go back to Manehatten and investigate. Azok, Vinny, you are both familiar with mind control spells, correct?”

        “Yes ma’am.”

        “Good, then I would like you all to set out immediately-”

        “Taken care of, ma’am,” Badger replied, his chest puffed out business-like before retracting slightly from pain.

"Yo B you all right you look like you got run over by a tank?"

        “Technically I did. A big... four legged.. scorpion-tail wielding... Lion-headed... tank.”

        “Wait, you got your ass kicked by a Manticore?  How? They’re like beating up a marshmallow.”

        “Well that was one big fucking marshmallow.” He replied sarcastically.

        “Come over here, I might be able to do something about your wings.” Vinny began to charge a green tinted orb of energy. “Now sit down and stay still. Since you're not my pet, this is still a little choppy.” Vinny tossed the orb at Badger. It sunk into his left wing causing green light to arch through his bones, mending them... mostly. “How ya feeling?”

        “Like I got ran over by a smaller tank.”

        “Ever swim in lava?”

        “No?”

        “Then quit bitchin’.”

        Straight above them, they heard the sound of clapping. In a matter of seconds a larger griffin glided down between the group and Celestia.

“HAHAHAHAHA!”  “I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” the griffin said. “I know the boss is going to pluck me, but that was just too hilarious.”

“Well, I mean the boss is already pissed, what with the overgrown chicken over there deep frying Lust back in Manehatten, but it was entirely her fault. Stupid chick never did listen.”

        “Who are you, and how do you know what happened in Manehatten?” the princess demanded, lowering her horn to the intruder.

        “Simple,” the taloned fiend said while tapping his skull. “Psychic link between me and the other Seven -well now I guess Six- sins.  By the way, name’s Pride. Now for the reason I’m actually here, I have a message to deliver and now is as good as a time as ever.” Pride cleared his throat and began to speak in a monotone voice, “Dear Princess Celestia, don't interfere with our plans... bla bla bla... or else... bla bla bla... destruction... bla bla bla.” Pride flapped his wings and took to the air.

        “Anyways, if it weren’t for our hippogriff’s little girlfriend here, all of manehatten would already be ours.” He zoomed down in front of Gilda, and lightly touched her chin with his talon. “So lovely.. it’s a shame I have to kill you because you killed my sister. But I digress, hit me up sometime before we fight, I’d love to get to know you.”

        “Bite me,” she growled, her eyes slanting, threatening.

        “Well, if that’s how you get off...” He seemed to contemplate for a moment, “A little bit too kinky for me. Sorry sweetcakes.”

Badger was the first to move; he swung his left talon out and around, hitting the griffin square in the side of his head. His neck cracked instantly and he disappeared into a small explosion of green flame. From above again, they heard laughter.

“You really think I’m that easily defeated? Nice try. Now I think I might just bite her. Have fun while you can kids, because shit is about the hit the fan. Hard.” He once again exploded into green flames.

        “Damnit Badger, I was gonna blow his head off!” Vinny shouted at the Hippogryph. “Everything above his shoulders was about to become a fine red mist, but noo~o~o, you had to punch him.”

        “Calm down, Vinny, he was probably pissed because that Pride guy was hitting on his girl.  Something seemed familiar about him, though... Anyway Princess, you still want us to go to Manehatten, or have the plans changed?”

        “I'm not sure... Azok, Badger, you two go to Manehatten and check up on some guards I posted there, then return back to me for more orders. Vinny, Gilda, since you two are smaller and more agile than the former two, I need you to check out these locations and scout them out before they come around.”

        “Permission to speak freely?” Badger asked, looking at Celestia intently.

        “Permission granted, Master Chief.”

“Why are you going to separate me and Gilda, and send myself and Azok down the Manehatten? We just came from there.”

        “Because both of you are the strongest, and being the last place of the attack, they might strike there again.”

        “Yeah, well he doesn't look as strong as he did before.” Badger grumbled.

        Azok walked over to one of the guards and grabbed his spear “Yoink!”  He held it by the end of the shaft and the head and bent it into a pretzel shape.

        “Your turn,” he challenged as he tossed it to Badger. “Bend it back.”

        What happened next was a shameful display of manliness on Badger’s part. (Of course, mind you, he is still weak in his arms). He barely even loosened it. Then he started to mumble about otherworldly beings and how unfair it was.

        “Ok, well we will be heading off, but we have to make a stop at my house first.”

“What do you mean? Why do you have to go down to Ponyville?” Celestia responded, apparently annoyed at the sudden change in plans.

“Well, if you notice Badger is well... he isn’t as combat proficient as me-”

“Fuck you Azok,” Badger muttered.

“- so I have a gift for him.”

        “And what might this gift be?” the Princess questioned

        “It’s an upgrade.”