In a Cello Mood

Dear Diary,

Don’t you have this feeling when you need to do so much, and you just lie in bed all morning looking at the ceiling and trying to see what to do with your life? Of course you don’t, you are just paper. Well, I do. I did this morning.

The day when everything went wrong. But the morning was all right. In fact, it was more than all right. First of all, I apologised to Vinyl...

***

“Vinyl, I am sorry.”

Octavia looked at her hooves, not daring to look into her marefriend’s eyes. “I really am sorry.” She sighed and looked up, but away from the white mare, who was sitting on the sofa and paying heed. “I shouldn’t have felt jealous. I shouldn’t have accused you of, of… perspective adultery.” Finally, she met Vinyl’s eyes, in which misunderstanding was very much present. “Of sleeping with Neon,” the cellist clarified. “It’s been a busy few days, and, while that is no excuse, I just hope you can forgive me.”

For a moment, Vinyl remained silent, and then just tapped the spot next to her, prompting Octavia to climb onto the bed. “Tavi,” she said finally, leaning in and placing her head on Octavia’s shoulder. “I love you. I would never, ever sleep with anypony else but you.” The DJ pondered and chuckled. “Well, without you, that is. Look.” She sighed, straightening herself on the sofa and looking into Octavia’s eyes. “I get it that I may have been too enthusiastic about working with Neon. But he’s been the coolest DJ around since his teenage years, so, naturally, I kinda… like him?” Seeing fear on Octavia’s face, the spinner amended, “I mean, I don’t like him, I just like this work. We’ve never had anything but work together. If you want,” Vinyl smiled, “you can come to one of our sessions. See for yourself.”

“Thank you, Vinyl.” Octavia shook her head somberly. “But I trust you. I trust you enough to leave you alone with Neon and not have to worry about you two. I will,” she gulped, “I will overcome my jealousy. Besides,” she added, “I’m having a work session with Beauty Brass today. After classes.”

Vinyl smiled knowingly. “Classes, you say?” She winked at the grey mare as the little pony in Octavia’s head began running around in panic. “We’ve already missed two classes. Why not skip the day altogether?”

Octavia groaned and tried to get up, but Vinyl’s skilful hooves wrapped around the cellist’s shoulders. “Vinyl, you know how much I hate skipping classes!” The little pony in Octavia’s head nodded. Verily.

“Come on, Tavs!” Vinyl pressed the weight of her body against the grey mare, essentially laying Octavia onto the sofa, looming over her. “You liked skipping uni when we would just sit in our room and make out~” Vinyl nibbled on Octavia’s ear gently. “Why not repeat that today?”

“Well…” Octavia blushed, averting her eyes shamefully. “I guess we could… do… more?” she suggested in a bright, hopeful tone. “Some… tender tending, maybe?”

“Oooh~” Vinyl cooed, nuzzling her marefriend’s neck gleefully. “Somepony wants some hot sexings today!” She positioned herself over the grey mare and licked her lips hungrily. “Or, should I say… It’s time to…” Her horn glowed, and Vinyl’s spectacles were lowered slowly onto her nose. “Eat out?” Without waiting for the cellist to react, she threw her hoof in the air and yelled, “Aww yeaaaah!”

Octavia pushed the mare off her and took a deep breath. “Vinyl.” She took off her marefriend’s spectacles and put them away. “This isn’t the first time you have committed a horrible joke.” Before Vinyl could reply, she shushed the white mare. “No. First, those are spectacles, not shades. Second, that wasn’t even funny. Third, you just killed the mood.”

“Aww…” Vinyl pouted, still clinging to the cellist. “But I wanted those sexings!”

Jeffrey walked into the living room, took a single glance at the mares, sighed, and retreated back to the kitchen.

Octavia blushed and pushed Vinyl away, getting up. “Well, we’ll have to postpone the sexings till I’ve returned from Beauty’s.” Octavia scrunched her nose in disgust - which prompted a tiny ‘squee’ from the unicorn. “I still need to make time and drop by the uni.”

With that, the earth pony stood up and stretched, but, as soon as she was about to take a step in the direction of the stairwell, she found Vinyl blocking her way, glaring suspiciously. “Tavi, I thought we had agreed that we’re not going to uni today. Haven’t we?”

Before Vinyl could advance and make a scene, however, Octavia made use of the ancient ladylike art of shutting up her partner with a kiss - which was breezy, and by no means elongated, but still very and very pleasant. “Shush, you silly unicorn. I’m going there to drop by the cafeteria. The strawberry-flavoured muffins are to die for.” The little pony in Octavia’s head licked her lips readily: Mmm, strawberries…

“Oh.” Vinyl relaxed visibly. “Okay. Even though I can’t understand how you can prefer that preservative-filled food to Jeffrey’s cooking.”

“Thank you, Miss!” came Jeffrey’s voice from the kitchen. Then sounds of chopping vegetables. “It is a great solace to know that there is somepony in the house who still appreciates my cooking.”

“Jeffrey, stop being talkative,” Octavia grumbled, feeling a little guilty at her food choice. But they are strawberry-flavoured! the little pony in her head urged. The battle was lost before it had begun. “All right, Vinyl, I am going to go have some muffins, then I’ll drop by Beauty’s and then I’ll…” Octavia put the tip of her hoof against her lips and giggled. Then, she leant towards her lover and whispered something hotly in her ear.

Vinyl’s face slowly lit up with understanding and, at that, a blush covered her face gradually. “You…” She looked at her beaming cellist. “You can’t really do that… can you?”

“Oh, my dear Vinyl…” Octavia kissed the unicorn on the horn. “You know I’m just full of surprises.”

“That, I do, Tavi…” Vinyl watched the grey earth pony pick up her saddlebags and walk out of the door. “That, I do.”

***

There were several reasons why the cafeteria was always full of ponies. A more obvious reason would be a conspiracy at the dean’s office to extort as much money from the students as possible. A reason yet more obvious was that ponies got hungry eventually, and four-to-five doppelclasses a day meant that they had to eat somewhere. The reason most obvious was that only students ever went to the cafeteria, resulting in large groups of ponies skipping classes there. And, while at that, spending their bits on food. Was it not obvious why the dean’s office never really punished anypony for lack of attendance?

Octavia liked the cafeteria, but realised that, despite her family’s apparent wealth, this was a very expensive place. Being the only food-serving establishment around (any nearby restaurants had been moved away from the premises on the pleading of RUMMS’s rectorate), it was a monopolist feeding on the poor students’ budgets.

And yet, the strawberry muffins were totally worth it. Picking up the plate, Octavia drifted through the sets of square wooden tables, searching for a vacant one. Alas, there was not a single vacant table in sight. She had almost turned back to walk into the corner and wait for somepony to vacate their table, when she heard a familiar voice speaking from the corner table. “Octavia?”

The mare turned towards the source of the voice and saw Professor Dan sitting at the corner table, alone, with a plate of celery. The cellist brightened up a little, walking towards her teacher. “Hello, Professor.” She paused before putting her plate opposite him. “Um, I was looking for a table. I’d better go back before-”

“Nonsense, Octavia,” Professor Dan replied, motioning towards the empty seat opposite him. “Do sit down. I always had this problem as a uni student myself. So, welcome to the Outsiders’ Club,” Professor Dan greeted the mare with a smile as Octavia sat next to him, wincing at the lack of sitting cushions. Then again, this was a cafeteria, not a restaurant.

“I am not an outsider,” Octavia was quick to retort, “I do have friends, but they are just not here.” She blew on the tea, waiting for it to cool down enough to drink.

“Oh.” The professor’s face faded a little as he took up his celery. “Great.”

“Would you call yourself an outsider?” Octavia wondered, immediately blaming herself for speaking down to a professor. The little pony in her head tsked and placed a D on her term paper. “I mean, with all due respect, sir.”

“If I’m popular with students,” Professor Dan said, putting the awful celery down, “it does not entail that I am popular with everypony. Just today I got called a traitor by my colleagues by questioning Princess Celestia’s budget cuts.”

Octavia gasped at the impossible accusation. “But… She’s the Goddess!” the young cellist tried to make her point by placing her hoof on the table. “She raises the Sun for the glory of our beautiful land!” How can he not understand that? He’s a professor. Professors ought to be smart, and he’s saying such stupid things.

Professor Dan looked at the younger mare sadly and faked a smile. “Sure. Of course. It’s just that…” He sighed and pushed the plate of celery away. “Most ponies don’t understand it, even when they are all grown up, but Equestria does have its problems. And, while the majority of the population opt not to see them and blindly follow - and help create - the blatant propaganda, some of us see the flaws and want to fix them.” Seeing lack of understanding in Octavia’s eyes, he concluded, “It’s just that sometimes raising the sun isn’t enough to be respected. Just as somepony who is seemingly awful is not necessarily a bad pony.”

“Yeah, well, sure.” Octavia cringed at her lack of colourful vocabulary, but what Professor Dan was saying was straight treason! Princess Celestia raised the Sun! And everypony was happy in Equestria. And if somepony was sad, other ponies would make them feel better. Instead of speaking out her observations, however, she asked a question that surprised her: “Professor Dan? With your… erm, unpopular opinion, you have to deal with ponies you don’t like every day, am I right?” A sour nod from the young professor confirmed her suspicions. “How do you do that, exactly? Without losing your mind?”

Now, the professor’s smile grew more genuine than sad. “Oh, that’s easy. And rather simple. You just have to find the positive sides to them. For example, most Equestrians are racist towards griffins.” Octavia blushed, realising that, while she had never given it much thought, she tried to avoid griffin neighbourhoods in the City. “And I once had a griffin marefriend.” At Octavia’s raised brow, Professor Dan shook his head. “Don’t ask. It… worked. So I ought to be angry at all the professors who are speaking out against the ‘feathered’, as you call them.” I don’t call them that! the little pony in Octavia’s head claimed, hiding a white hood and a pitchfork. “Instead, I try to ignore that fact and try to focus on the positive aspects of their behaviour. Like the fact that they save little homeless kittens.”

Octavia blinked, unsure whether that was a joke or whether their whole faculty staff were responsible for saving dozens of poor kittens from the streets. “Well, sometimes you can’t do that… Like, I believe, sometimes you just want to up and leave?” she asked, feeling more and more like talking to an equal - a smarter equal - but not with a professor.

“Oh yes.” Professor Dan laughed light-heartedly and dragged the plate with celery back to himself, apparently finding his appetite once again. “But I have family here. Besides, it isn’t like the Crystal Empire issues residence permits for most Equestrians. This is the way life is.” Into the mouth the celery went. Octavia sighed. “Just like it’s the way your project with Beauty Brass is just part of life.” Octavia threw her head up, wide-eyed. “Oh, come on.” Professor Dan laughed. “I know you don’t really give a damn about my problems. I just needed to talk to somepony. And you need to get your flank to Beauty’s house or wherever you two are going to work, and forget your differences if you want to get a good grade.”

“I do want a good grade,” Octavia lamented as she eyed the sad emptiness on the plate, where the muffins had just been. “But I’m not sure I can work with her. She is just so- ugh!” Octavia slammed her hoof against the table, drawing no attention as the sound became drowned in the din of the cafeteria. “She looks down on my marefriend Vinyl, and she’s dating my best friend Frederic and she doesn’t even love him!”

Professor Dan’s face tried to remain calm, but his brows crawled up on their own volition. “A first-year is dating one of our best Master’s students?” He rubbed his chin. “Well, sometimes young mares date older stallions just to show off before their friends. At least that’s what I’ve seen before.”

“Yes,” Octavia agreed, “and I heard her talking with her friend about Frederic, and she doesn’t really love him.” The cellist sighed. “And, when I told Frederic about this, he didn’t believe me.”

“Yes…” Professor Dan smiled indulgently. “Now, if only there was a device that let musicians record music… and that could also be used to record somepony’s confession…” The prof laughed at how Octavia’s face immediately brightened. I’ll just leave the recording device on when I’m with her and record all she has to say about Frederic! “Though, I have to warn you that it would be blackmail and totally illegal and so on and so forth.” Professor Dan waved his hoof in the air. “But say, I didn’t know you and that prodigy from the EDM faculty were dating. I thought she was dating that Neon guy.”

“Oh no,” Octavia said with so pleasant a smile as she could possibly muster, without questioning how Professor Dan knew Vinyl and Neon, “you see, they are just working on the project together, just like me and Beauty. Only they are more… amicable.” The cellist winced at her choice of wording.

“Hmm. Just colleagues, huh?” Professor Dan rubbed his chin, and looked at Octavia sadly, as if choosing whether to say the next words or not. Finally, he decided and let out a big sigh. “I don’t know, Octavia. I would love to believe that they are just colleagues, but…”

“But what?” Octavia almost snapped, squinting her eyes.

Professor Dan sighed again and closed his eyes. “But yesterday, I was walking home from the university and saw the two of them… kissing.”

“Kissing?” Octavia’s face fell and her heart dropped to her gut. “You… Are you sure you haven’t…” Mis-seen it? “Are you sure you weren’t mistaken?”

“I don’t know,” Professor Dan replied honestly. “Do you know many unicorns with blue hair?” Glancing at his wrist, he excused himself from the table, getting up and taking up the empty plate. “I’m sorry to have been the bearer of bad news. Just don’t make rash decisions, Octavia. Hear her out, and… Why the hell am I giving out relationship advice, I’m not even married.” With that, the professor disappeared into the crowd of students.

Octavia sat there in the loud, everpresent din, and let out a deep, low, mind-shattering roar.

***

“You kissed him!”

Vinyl blinked, stepping aside to let her marefriend into the house. “Hi, Tavi…” she greeted the furious cellist, who didn’t make a single attempt to walk in. “I thought you were at Beauty’s…”

“You.” Octavia pointed at the white mare. “Kissed. Neon!” She roared, wishing that she had something to throw at the adulterous unicorn. “You didn’t even tell me! I- I apologised to you, and now it turns out I was right all along!”

“Octavia, calm down,” Vinyl spoke with an unusual soothing tone to her words. “It was an honest mistake. He kissed me, I broke the kiss and explained I was dating you. So we laughed about it and carried on.” Vinyl shrugged. “I don’t see what is wrong.”

“Oh, you laughed!” Octavia fumed, not crossing the threshold. “You kissed and you laughed and you didn’t even tell me!” She stomped her hoof against the wooden step. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you would overreact!” Vinyl replied, standing back in her initial place. “Like you are overreacting right now!” Her own irritation seemed to have simmered down, and the unicorn tried to manage a smile. “Come on, Tavi, just come in and we talk this out like adults.”

“Oh no.” Octavia shook her head furiously, the little pony in her head sliding from ear to ear. “I am not sleeping in the house with you tonight. I’ll find someplace to sleep, and you have to explain to Mom and Jeffrey why exactly I’m not coming home tonight!”

“Tavi, wait!” Vinyl tried, but the grey mare had already slammed the door in Vinyl’s face and ran away, tears in her eyes.

***

“Ah, if this isn’t Octavia Philarmonica!”

Octavia looked at the mare in a dull fashion and stepped over the threshold. “I would make a witty remark but I’m too worn out and not-caring to do that.” She looked over the living room, into which she had just stepped. The planning of the house seemed to mimic the planning of her own, only this one seemed significantly smaller. “One would think, with your wealth, you would be living in a mansion.”

“I did live in a mansion,” Beauty replied acidly, closing the door and turning to face the grey mare. “But my family decided I’m old enough to have a house of my own and bought me this one. It’s small, but it’s cosy.” The mare’s cheeks lit up with a subtle hint of a blush, which Octavia did notice, even despite her condition. “All right. Are we going to make music or what?” She eyed Octavia skeptically. “I don’t own a cello, and I don’t think you could fit one in your saddlebags.

“I’m sorry.” Octavia sighed and took off her saddlebags, placing them in the corner of the living room. “I left it at home. I was… in a rush when I went here.”

“Well,” Beauty suggested reasonably, “you can always go back home and take your cello. Don’t be stupid,” she added unnecessarily, as if not to lose face in front of herself.

“I can’t.” Octavia paused, guessing whether to speak out her mind or not. On the one hoof, this was Beauty Brass; on the other hoof… Did she give a damn? “I had a big quarrel with Vinyl. A really big one,” the cellist repeated to give her word the much needed gravity. “So I can’t really return.

“Oh.” Beauty looked aside. There was a touch of a weird feeling in Octavia’s chest that told her the mare wanted to say something else, but she, being the polite - albeit distressed - cellist that she was, remained silent.

Well, not quite silent.

“Where’s the snappy remark about me and Vinyl?” Octavia wondered, trotting towards the sofa and sitting on its corner without asking. Like I give a damn, the little pony in her head swore. “Where’s that smug grin that makes me want to murder you at first sight?” she carried on without really choosing her wording.

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Beauty swore, collapsing in a chair in the corner. “I’ve had a bad day.” Catching Octavia’s unamused glance, she elaborated, “I had a row with Frederic.”

“Good.” Octavia nodded sternly. “You don’t deserve him. I heard what you were saying about him.” The little pony in her head nodded in approval. When in Roam, do whatever you want because the Roamans are sleeping with your best friend.

“Maybe.” Beauty shrugged, hiding her feelings masterfully, making Octavia wonder if she could learn a thing or two from her nemesis. “Or maybe I was on the road to love.” The mare took a cup of tea from the little glass table and took a sip.

“I don’t think you are capable of love,” Octavia said honestly, finding no sympathy for the devil inside her.

Beauty glared at her, striking Octavia with a look that was terribly pained, and evil, and true. “You know nothing, Octavia Philarmonica.” The blue mare stood up, putting the tea back. “If you haven’t taken your cello, we can at least work on the sheet music. Or are you too thick to hear the music in your head when you see the notes?”

Octavia smirked. “Now, that’s more like the Beauty I know.” And love, the little pony in her head supplied. You wanted to say ‘know and love’. Another little pony in her head retorted, And hate. That’s what she wanted to say. Octavia blinked the strange ponies away.

“What’s your drink of choice?” Beauty Brass called out from the kitchen. “If you do drink at all.” The clinking of glasses that followed told Octavia Beauty assumed that she did drink at all.

“Anything that burns is fine,” Octavia called out without getting up from the sofa. Her soul smelt of burnt resin and was darker than a zebra’s stripes. The mare sighed and got up, trotting into the kitchen. After all, drinking made things better, not worse. Right?

Anything goes, the little pony in her head sang as the two mares sat at table together. Anything goes.

***

“With all due respect, Octavia…” Beauty hiccupped, lying on the bed next to the grey mare. “A G-sharp will not go there, I assure you.” She took the pencil and erased the note.

Immediately, Octavia took up her pencil and put the G-sharp in its rightful place. “With all due respect, Beauty, you are a moron. A G-sharp will be perfect here.” With that, she decided that it was not enough, and poked Beauty’s belly. “Also, you’re chubby.”

“You are chubby.” Beauty pressed her lips against Octavia’s belly suddenly and blew it. The grey mare laughed in convulsions. “That’s what you get for calling me chubby, you… accursed… accuser.”

“Oh shut up!” Octavia rolled over, finding herself on top of the blue mare, to her own surprise. “I’m not… Not a… whatever I am in your view.”

For a moment, the two mares lay in silence. Then Beauty asked quietly, “Octavia, is this the point where we have an awkward kiss and I begin to question my sexuality and you have to apologise before Vinyl?”

Octavia paused, considering the option. The little pony in her head shrugged and disappeared behind a Do Not Disturb sign. “Nah. No.” She rolled back, making the vocalist exhale. “This is the point where we stop tinkering with the music and write some lyrics.”

“Octavia,” Beauty replied very seriously. “You’re drunk. Go home. This is the point where we don’t make stupid drunken lyrics. This is the point where you go home and I go to bed.”

Octavia sighed and shook her head, not getting up from the bed. “This is the point where I tell you that I am not coming home tonight and that I’ll probably have to stay at your place.”

Beauty tried to push the grey mare off, but didn’t succeed. “This is the point where I remind you that we are enemies, not friends.”

Octavia yawned and pulled the blanket over herself, closing her eyes. “This is the point where I tell you we’re both too drunk to care so you’ll let me sleep in your bed because your sofa is too soft.”

Beauty yawned as well and flicked off the lights, throwing the sheet music to the floor. “This is the point where I agree.”

***

So… This totally happened. I’ve just woken up, it’s night, and I’m in Beauty’s bed. I’m still a little drunk so I can’t really write an elaborate entry. One thing I’m certain of, Diary:

I’m seriously going to regret this tomorrow.

Octavia Philarmonica, October 21st