In a Cello Mood

Dear Diary,

Today - or, rather, this morning - I have learned what hangovers are like.

They are not pretty.

Not pretty at all. I thought I'd die vomiting, but, thankfully, I did not vomit. Instead, I had to suffer a terrible headache. I, for one, was very angry at myself for getting drunk - and right before a day full of studies, no less! Right after I woke up, I immediately knew I positively hated myself for this - and I still had to go to university. But, more so, I knew, right after I woke up, that I hated Vinyl.

***

I hate Vinyl.

Octavia groaned, her head heavy and aching, her temples pulsating with blood. It felt like she was more... round, rolling over and over into nothingness, yesterday's light-headed joy replaced with suffering.

I'm gonna kill her dead.

Once more, Octavia rolled over, trying to get rid from the ultrasound assault on her mind. It felt as if yesterday's alcohol were punching the very core of her head from the inside.

I will murder her and hide her body in a- Uh!

With terrible effort, Octavia managed to get up. Or, rather, roll off the bed, ending on the floor with a graceless thump. Following an unsuccessful attempt to get up, Octavia decided that leading her life on the floor of her bedroom was not the worst option.

"Miss?" Jeffrey's voice echoed in a shout, rolling about the room, resonating off the walls, killing Octavia's ears and head with sheer volume.

"Jeffrey..." the young mare hissed, covering her ears with her hooves in an attempt to drown out the sound. "Please... voice... down. Speak easy." She opened her eyes to glare at the butler, but saw that he was carrying a tray with a glass of - Thank Celestia! - orange juice, which the cellist grabbed at once, downing the whole glass in one huge gulp. Celestia, I did not even realise how thirsty I was...

Suddenly, the world seemed a little brighter. Having quenched her thirst, Octavia felt that it was time to go back to sleep, and said just so, dragging her heavy legs to the bed. Her way was swiftly blocked by the steadfast butler,  who, gently but sternly, pushed the young mare away from the blissful abode of sleepy dreams. “Miss, I am afraid it is time for your studies.”

Octavia blinked heavily, feeling that, if she were to blink again, she’d open her eyes in about eight hours. What. “Uh. Jeffrey. No studies. Sleep,” she managed, trying to pass the equine obstacle. However, the attempt proved to be in vain, as the butler managed to guide the sleepy cellist skilfully towards the door. Without noticing anything, Octavia exited the room, yawning.

Imagine her surprise when she saw in front of her the familiar stairwell, instead of the much desired bed. Jeffrey, you cheating- uh! The young mare rubbed her temples in exasperation. Automatically, the pony followed the steps down, only to be greeted by the everpresent butler (how did he just appear there when he was just behind me?) and a note on the table. Octavia was too hungover to read, but Jeffrey must have read her mind, for he cleared his throat and read aloud, maintaining a tone which was a touch too formal for a mother-to-daughter note:

“Dear Octavia,

I am going to the latest premiere of that fashion show I told you about. Will be home by dinner. Breakfast is on the table. Don’t forget to pack your bag. Jeffrey will see you to the university.

Love, Mom”

Octavia grunted and glanced at the omelette. Nausea struck swiftly, and Octavia shut her eyes. “No. No breakfast today,” she said aloud.

“In that case, Miss,” said Jeffrey, who had, as usual, materialised out of nowhere, and was now standing right in front of her, “I am ready to escort you to the university building.”

“Ugh. Jeffrey, no studies today.” The young mare tapped her head. “Hangover. Brain hurts. Time to go to sleep.” She turned round, intent on travelling to the realm of Sleepy Dreams.

“Miss,” Jeffrey urged pointedly, taking the young mare by the shoulders. “I am afraid I have to take you to university. Your mother’s orders.” Really? Octavia groaned. Of all the times to be proper and correct...

“Okay, Jeffrey, here’s the deal,” Octavia whispered conspiratorially. “You let me stay at home today and I give you…” The pony made an estimation. “A hundred bits.” That should buy him… Boldly, the young  mare approached the unperturbable valet, lashing out with her eyelashes sulkily. “Come on, Jeffrey. You wouldn’t want to have a hundred bits and a free pass to ditch your duties? Really?”

Jeffrey smiled.

***

“Stupid Jeffrey.”

Octavia kicked the pebble aside, wobbling slightly as she made her way to the university building, accompanied by the unperturbed valet. "Stupid Vinyl. Making me drink drinks till I got drunk. Ugh." She shook her head, trying to make her thoughts steadier for the upcoming seminar on Music History that awaited her. "Who does she think she is? Silly, ugh, silly in the head and- ugh.”

“Taaaaavi!” she heard a familiar voice from the side, happy and cheery in nature. Slowly, Octavia looked right, only to see what she had expected to see: a cheerful white unicorn trotting up to her along a side path, her braces reflecting the (harsh) morning sun. “Tavi, hold on!”

Obeying Vinyl’s call, Octavia stopped, grinding her teeth. Come on… Come closer so I can murder you. Suddenly, Vinyl stopped at a fair pace, eyeing the cellist cautiously. “Um. What’s wrong, Tavi?”

Everything will be good and right when I murder you and hide your body in a- uh! “What gives you the impression, Vinyl?” the young mare wondered in a tone as sweet as she could muster.

“Well,” Vinyl pointed out, “you have a very I-wanna-kill-you look on your face.” She took a hesitant step back. “You look pretty angry, Tavi… You look as if-”

With a mighty roar, Octavia flung herself like a lioness at the poor mare, knocking her off her hooves. Grey hooves made their way to the white throat. “I! Will! End! You!” Octavia screamed, lying on top of the unicorn, her teeth dancing the dance of death.

“Tavi!” Vinyl coughed. “Can’t! Breathe!” She freed herself with relative ease, making Octavia faceplant into the fresh morning grass. Might as well have breakfast, Octavia thought. “What has gotten into you?”

“A lot of alcohol,” Octavia replied in a violent hiss. “Yesterday. All because of you.” She attempted to get up, only to faceplant again. Softly and slowly, Vinyl approached her and extended a hoof. Never! Octavia tried to get up again. And fell. Again. Okay, maybe this one last time. Coming to terms with herself, she grabbed the helping hoof. “Now,” she said, a little calmer than before, “my head hurts like a million nightmare puppies, and, and-”

“That,” Vinyl interrupted her with a knowing smile, “is just a hangover. Your first one. After several nights of drinking, you’ll get used to these. Hell,” she tapped her chest proudly, “I no longer get hangovers!”

“Never,” Octavia hissed in return. “I will never.” She tapped her hoof against the ground. “Ever.” She pointed the hoof at Vinyl. “Drink alcohol.” The hoof came down. “Ever again.”

“Never say never,” Vinyl remarked. Then she smiled light-heartedly, feeling that the hard part of the conversation was over. “So, do you have a lecture or a seminar?” she asked, picking up a trot.

Octavia trotted next to her. “I’m still mad at you, you know,” she remarked with some acidness. “You made me drunk on drinks, and… stuff.” The two mares made their way into the university building.

“But didn’t we have fun?” Vinyl asked, stopping suddenly. “Ask yourself, Tavi. If it weren’t for the headache you’re having now - didn’t we have fun yesterday?”

Octavia stopped as well, pausing in her acidness. “We… We actually did,” she admitted. “But the headache, on the other hoof-”

“So we’ll just hang out without booze,” Vinyl supplied quickly and smiled. “Come on, Tavi!” She nudged the grey pony playfully. “You wouldn’t want to break off a beautiful friendship just because of some headache?” Immediately, Vinyl pouted, sending, for some reason, a bolt of electricity through the back of Octavia’s neck.

“Um.” Octavia collected herself and tried to give her friend a stern gaze, but, seeing the pouty lips and those big red eyes, merely sighed and shook her head. “All right, Vinyl. Let’s say I’ve given you another chance.” She tossed her hair primly and allowed herself to gift with a smile this strange mare whom she for the love of Celestia couldn’t understand sometimes.

“Great!” Vinyl grinned, showing her braces. “Let’s hang out after classes!” she suggested, smiling brilliantly. For some reason, Octavia both loved that smile at once - and feared it. At once. “No alcohol,” the unicorn quickly added. “Let’s go grab a coffee or something.”

“Coffee.” Octavia nodded. “Yes.” She smiled. “Coffee sounds good. I like coffee. And cake,” she added. “I’ll hang out with you, Vinyl. If you pay for the cake.” The cellist smiled friend-restoringly.

“Sure…” Vinyl’s face fell for a moment. Then, she scrunched her face, as if trying to estimate something. Then, in a moment, she brightened up. “Sure! I have enough alimony this month!”

“Don’t you mean ‘allowance’?” Octavia asked, taking a step aside as a particularly large group of students passed by.

“Uh…” Vinyl paused for a moment, then smiled again. “Yeah, of course. I meant allowance. All right, see ya after class, Tavi!” With that, the cheerful unicorn ran off.

Octavia shook her head and took a deep breath. The headache wasn’t getting worse, but it wasn’t getting better either. She looked around the hall, trying to remember where the classroom was. Vinyl is weird, she thought, looking in the direction that the unicorn had disappeared in. And… She looked around, remembering something. Wait.

When did Jeffrey vanish?

***

“That was one boring lecture.”

Octavia sighed as she left the lecture hall and suppressed a yawn. Two seminars ahead. Oh Celestia, why do you punish me with hangovers. The mare stretched and, finally, yawned.

“Yeah,” she heard suddenly, a voice coming from behind her. “I knew all that stuff already.”

Octavia turned round, only to see a cheerful mint unicorn mare with a brown saddlebag, accompanied by a shy-looking, fatty cream-coloured earth pony. The cellist blinked. “Did you?” she asked dumbly, still riding the hangover’s tidal waves.

“I did,” the unicorn confirmed with a nod. She extended her hoof. “My name’s Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings, and I know everything. This,” she pointed at the earth pony, “is my marefriend Bon-Bon. I make homework for her and she licks me where I like it.”

“Lyra!” Bon-Bon the cream-coloured mare shouted and turned a fine shade of pink, just as Octavia blinked obliviously. Why would she lick her marefriend?.. “She’s kidding,” Bon-Bon explained calmly. “She doesn’t do my homework, and she doesn’t know everything.”

“Do too,” Lyra protested. She followed Octavia down the narrow corridor, avoiding possible collisions with other students with ease. “It’s my special talent, after all. She tapped her flank.”

Once more, Octavia blinked like an idiot. Confound those hangovers. They drive me to ugh. “Your cutie mark is a lyre,” the young cellist said politely.

“Exactly.” Lyra nodded resolutely. “Do you remember who played the lyre?”

Octavia paused, thinking of various composers, but could not remember a single one. “Orpheus?” she suggested cautiously.

“Exactly,” Lyra repeated while Bon-Bon sighed and rolled her eyes. “And where did Orpheus go to rescue his beloved?”

“To Tartarus,” Octavia replied, stopping in front of the door that led to the classroom she needed.

“And who did he meet there?” Lyra pressed on, while Bon-Bon seemed to behave in a “I don’t know her” fashion.

“Discord?” Octavia suggested, stepping from hoof to hoof due to the weird discussion. Not something to discuss when you are hungover.

“Exactly!” Lyra exclaimed and tapped her front hooves against the tiles of the floor. “And Discord told him all the secrets of the world! Ergo, the lyre is the symbol of ultimate knowledge. Ergo, I know everything!” She bowed proudly. “If you ever have any questions, just ask me, Um?”

“Octavia,” the cellist supplied with an awkward smile. “As a matter of fact, I do have a question. Don’t you have a seminar to attend? You’re with our faculty, right?”

“Yes, classical,” Lyra replied. “I play the lyre, as you may have already guessed. And my fair mare here likes tooting my flute.” She winked at the blushing cream mare.

“I play the piano,” Bon-Bon corrected softly. “And make sweets. Hence my cutie mark.”

“Good,” Octavia said, not knowing what else to say. Is this how you make friends? Because this is sooo bizarre.

Ponies passed the strange triumvirate, rushing along the corridors, making Octavia think on the planning of the university. The EDM faculty, as Vinyl would call it, was located on the third floor. Did she have enough time to check on her friend? And why was she suddenly so eager to see Vinyl? It’s only been one lecture and I already miss her… What the hay is wrong with me?

“Oh, Octavia is thinking about a mare she likes!” Lyra chimed up, brightening and bouncing from hoof to hoof.

Octavia did a spit-take on thin air. “Wait, what do you- I’m not even- I mean, I-” I don’t “like” Vinyl!

“All right, first years! Time for your seminar!” the professor’s voice boomed as he, a stallion of fine posture and big beard, trotted past the mares into the classroom.

Lyra paused as she passed the grey mare. Pointing at Octavia’s chest, she whispered:

“I. Know. Everything.”

***

“I’ve met a very strange pony today,” Octavia said, sipping on her coffee. The coffee wasn’t particularly good, but the atmosphere of the nice coffee shop was somewhat pleasant. She had been sure they would go to the cafe where they had met, but, instead, Vinyl took her to the mall, where, to Octavia’s immense surprise, was a ridiculously cosy coffee shop - where they were sitting now. “Her name is Lyra, and she’s at my faculty.”

“Yes, I know Lyra,” Vinyl confirmed, drinking hot chocolate, slurping loudly, much to her new friend’s dismay. “Met her today too.  She knows everything - can you believe that?” Vinyl took a piece of the cake. “I asked her how ostriches breathe when their heads are in the sand.”

Octavia smiled indulgently, picking up a piece of her own. “And what did she say?”

“‘With oxygen’!” Vinyl exclaimed, sinking her teeth into the delicious creamy goodness. “She’s a genius, I’m telling you.”

Octavia sighed and facehooved. “Vinyl, the extent of your stupidity is not something I’ll easily get used to.” With that dignified remark, Octavia returned to her cake.

“I don’t know what any of that means, but thanks!” the beginner DJ replied with a grin. “It’s a compliment, right?”

“Yes, Vinyl.” Octavia chuckled. “Yes, it’s a compliment.” She watched her friend devour the cake intensely. “Say,” she remarked suspiciously, “isn’t the cake meddling with your braces?”

“No braces!” Vinyl exclaimed cheerfully, smiling a brilliant smile at the grey mare. “See? Doc says I don’t need them anymore. Says my teeth are all right!” Suddenly, she frowned in worry. “Do you think my teeth are all right?”

Octavia felt something hit her in the stomach. She assumed it was the cake skipping her entire digestive system. For some reason, she caught her breath and whispered, “Your teeth are gorgeous, Vinyl.”

“That’s…” Vinyl said slowly. “That’s like, good, right?”

“Right.” Octavia smiled, regaining her composure. “That’s, like, good.” She laughed at her own mimicry.

Content, Vinyl grabbed another piece and began eating. Octavia looked around. Yes, the atmosphere was nice, but, for some reason, she wouldn’t mind going to the coffee shop where the two of them had met. It had been just days ago, and yet it seemed it had been so long ago. She kind of wanted to relive that moment. For some reason. She returned her attention to her companion.

“Vinyl, you have some cream on your cheek,” Octavia said disapprovingly, reaching for the silly unicorn with a napkin. “There,” she said contentedly, having wiped off the offending cream. Vinyl laughed, touching her cheek.

The waitress that had just been passing the table, smiled and stopped by the two mares. “You know,” she cooed, “we have a couple discount special~” The waitress winked at the two young mares.

Octavia smiled very politely. Such insinuations! “I am sorry. You must have misunderstood.” She pointed her hoof at herself, then at Vinyl. “We are not a-”

“It’s fifteen percent,” the waitress confirmed, matter-of-factly, ready to proceed with the order.

On the other side of the table, Vinyl’s eyes widened. Immediately, she grabbed a very surprised Octavia by the neck. “Oh, we’re such a couple.” She kissed the shocked earth pony on the cheek loudly. “You wouldn’t believe how much we do… couple stuff. As a couple.”

Through her teeth, Octavia whispered almost soundlessly, “Vinyl what are you doing.” She was still grinning widely for the waitress through the embarrassment. “Vinyl, stahp.” She felt the grip tighten.

“Play along, for Celestia’s sake!” Vinyl whispered back. “Do you want a discount or not?”

“Oh!” Octavia picked up, grinning so artificially that it would take a Los Pegasus director to film such a fake smile. Think think think… “Yes! Uh, we, um, as a matter of fact, we cuddle so much that our bed just broke last night! Because we sleep together. Because we are a couple.”

“Oh yes!” Vinyl confirmed, nodding eagerly. “You know, she really likes when I top!”

“O-kaay…” The waitress looked at the two young mares with a changed look. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be right back.” Swiftly, she disappeared. Octavia dropped the grin. Vinyl let go of her neck. The two mares looked at each other weirdly.

“Since when do you top?” Octavia asked, disapprovingly. What is she thinking, doing-

Vinyl looked up primly. “Since I am the dominant persona- person- personal- person. Pony,” she clarified with a touch of embarrassment.

Octavia paused, then turned away as a blush crept across her cheeks. “Um. What exactly does ‘to top’ mean, by the way?” I think I have a general notion, but…

“I, um.” Vinyl blushed likewise, looking in the opposite direction. “Far as I understand it… I mean. It’s kinda when I lay on top of you when we have-”

“Lie,” Octavia corrected automatically, taking up her cup.

“That’s not a lie,” Vinyl protested. “When you have se-”

“‘Lie’, not ‘lay’,” Octavia amended with a giggle. She smiled and patted her friend’s head. “Silly Vinyl.”

“So…” Vinyl looked at the young cellist. “We still a couple?” she asked with a smile.

“No.” Octavia frowned. “Definitely not.” With that, she returned to the warm liquid.

“But whyyyy?” Vinyl pouted. “Did I suddenly fall from grace?” She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled her braces at Octavia. It did not seem very effective...

“Because,” Octavia said in a tone that did not allow discussion, “I am too young to have a serious relationship.” She paused. “And I think I’m into stallions.”

“You think?” Vinyl winked and inched a little closer.

“I’m not really sure.” Octavia frowned and inched away from the mare.  “I’ve never had a coltfriend,” she explained. “Or a marefriend.” She finished the coffee. “I’ve spent most of my free time studying and playing the cello.”

“You mean…” Vinyl gasped, looking around, as if trying to see whether they had been noticed. “You mean you’re still a virgin?!”

“What’s wrong with being a virgin?” Octavia retorted a touch defensively.

“Nothing. Wanna hear a secret?” Vinyl looked around and lowered her voice. “I’m a virgin too.”

“Okaaay…” Octavia blinked. Is it Confessions Day already?

“I know!” Vinyl cheered up, wrapping her hoof around the pony’s shoulders. “Let’s be virgin buddies! You know, go on a quest to lose virginity together!”

“Vinyl!” Octavia gasped, getting rid of the white hoof. “Definitely not!”

“You know, Tavs,” Vinyl said after a small pause, showing those beautiful, braceless teeth. “Virgin buddies or not, I’m glad we’re friends. I love hanging out with you.”

Octavia coughed and looked away, her cheeks reddening a little. Why the hay am I embarrassed? Are all friendships supposed to be this awkward? “Thank you, Vinyl.” She smiled and hugged the white mare awkwardly. “I love hanging out with you too.”

***

Ugh.

Vinyl is weird. Lyra is weird. Bon-Bon seems nice. But she is probably weird too. Am I weird? I have no idea. I hope I’m not half as weird as those ponies. But, at the same time, I have a feeling we’ll be sticking together, the four of us. Maybe become close friends. Sometimes, you just have this feeling.

Anyway, a thought on homework: it’s HUGE! But, unlike school, I don’t need to do it for every lesson. Which is good, and leaves me with some free time. Unlike school. Mom suggested that I bring some friends over for tea. Helps bonding, she said. I don’t think I can consider Lyra and Bon-Bon my friends yet, but I sure will ask Vinyl if she wants to come to my house tomorrow.

I wish I could contact her now. I could write her a letter, but with our postal system, it would take several days for it to arrive. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a device that allowed you to communicate with friends at any time? ...Daydreaming.

Anyway. Why am I even thinking of Vinyl and Lyra and Bon-Bon? I have homework to do, and I need to get my priorities straight. Because I am a straight mare. With straight priorities. ...I’ll go do my homework now. Forget this, diary.

-     A tired (and slightly confused) Octavia, September 9th