Jem wakes up and the first thing he sees is sunlight, the first thing he feels is... Water? Wait, this can't be right. I try to take in a breath I didn't realize I was holding, but fail. I'm drowning aren't I?

SHIT! HOLY SHIT. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

"Fuuuuuck!"

Jem surfaces. Holy shit batman; air in my lungs!

He looks out and sees... Water. A whole lot of water. Whether I pissed my pants just now or not, I do not know, however, I do know that I'm scared shitless. Why? Well there's waves. And waves mean I'm in the middle of the FUCKING OCEAN!

Okay, so the last thing I remember, I was partying with some friends after the game. We'd won 49-27, and booze of all kind were sent to the team captain and quarterback, me. I talked to a few chicks, hung out with the team, then decided to head home and go to sleep. The last thing I remember was my head hitting the pillow. So how the hell did I end up here, in the middle of the ocean with no way of ev-

A ship is sailing towards me. Holy shit a ship is headed towards me! But... It's strange. The ship seems to be something you would see in a movie starring Johnny Depp. A Victorian-era naval ship was coming to his aid, and frankly, Jem didn't give a shit.

"HEEELP!"

Jem hears gruff voices yelling "Drop the anchor!" And "Pony overboard!"

Did... Did they just call me a pony? Whatever I'll bitch someone out for it later, for now I just need on that ship.

The ship stops to a halt and I'm pulled on board, wiping the salt water out of my burning eyes, complemented by the strong scent of salt within my nostrils, I look up. And my mind freezes. The first thing I noticed wasn't the dusty wooden deck, the tattered sails, the dirty rug, or the rustic bow. It was something else.

No, the sailors aren't having a gay orgy. They're all colorful ponies, in little sailor uniforms, on a ship. I take that back, maybe that first thought was right.

"So uh, what the fuck?"

The ponies seem to be stricken, and a few are trying their damnedest to stifle a laughter, more than likely at my choice of words.

One of the ponies walked up, he wore a navy blue cap that just screamed captain, a corn cob pipe, a gruff gray beard, a slightly darker gray than his fur and the same color as his mane.

"Well, kind uh, sir? This here is the S.S Equestria, finest ship in the Behooved Sea." Cap'n Corn Cob said in a gruff voice.

Ha, puns. Well, apparently there's thirteen pony sailors standing right here in front of me, claiming that their vessel is the best in the Sea of Puns. So, where's the camera? I've been standing here mouth agape for around seven minutes, yet no one has jumped out to tell me I've been punked. No such recognition came, no one burst out with a camera to give me peace of mind. Does this mean this is really happening? Shit.

"Well Mr... Pony. Is there perchance a way of getting me home?" Jem said in between breaths, still trying to cough up sea water, and still shocked by the whole ordeal.

"Captain Full Mast, at your service. Well first I need to know where home is, and who you are, I'm sure you can understand. We don't rightly know what you are, it would benefit us all to know a bit more about you." Full Mast said suspiciously.

That name... Jem tries his best to fight back his laughter, to no avail. This caused many of the ponies to shift uncomfortably, and whisper to each other.

"What's so funny?" Cpt. Full Mast asked coldly, which is understandable, being laughed at in front of your crew isn't good for morale.

"Nothing, please, ask away." Fucking shitbag, don't get cocky with me.

"How about we start with your name. What is it?" The captain asked, in a softer, but still irritated voice.

"Jem. Now before you ask another, I'll ask you one, question for question, exactly where are we?"

"Very well, you're in the Behooved Sea, near the Cape of No Hope. We'll be headed to a port near the small trading town of Neighsburg, as obviously our business is more important than you. How close are we to that home of yours?"

Shit, I have no idea where we are. Should've paid more attention in Geography. "Uh, you can just drop me off there." Jem said, rather nervously.

"Very well, we'll arrive in three days. Our newest crew member, Buckle Swash, will show you to your cabin."

I look over to see a little pony, to my hip in height, well they're all that size. It has a dark blue mane with leathery brown fur, and gray eyes that seemed to stare into my soul, literally those things are huge!

"Hay thur ahm Buckle Swash! I joined dis here crew hopin' fer advent'ur an' fight'n' but all's I got is mopp'n duty. How's 'bout you? Why's ya here on our ship? Why's ya lookin' 't me like that? I'll shut up now."

"Good, now, where's my cabin?" Jem said hastily.

"You're bunkin' with me! Come dis a'way. "

Oh god no. I'm staying with this little shit? Jem tried to stop the redness from entering his face. I swear to god I'm going to flip my shit within these next few days.

Author's Note

First chapter of my first story. I hope you all enjoy! Criticism is requested, and I'd love to see your tit- uh thoughts about this here... Chapter. Yeah.