The Beginning: Where It All Starts

(??? POV)

“W-W-W-W-What is it?!” You are a man, so act like one! I caught myself from shuddering, but the stuttering I did proved how unprepared I was.

“I-I can’t believe it. Why was I so blind? I…I…” she closes her eyes, as if bracing herself for the worst, “I am turning into my mother!”

I am surprised, yet again, but for a different reason, “…What?” A blunt question with a dull tone. Is it because they both talk for a long time?

Her panicked state becomes replaced by a calm demeanor as she plays with her tied hair, “Maybe this is good.” Her eyes move up to a corner, “Mommy’s hair is so smooth, like a foal’s hair. Sometimes, I see my reflection on her hair when the light is just right.”

“They say that becoming the leader, no matter the occupation, puts a hefty stress on the pony,” I stopped myself from jumping, - second time Fauna almost made me jump like a scaredy-cat – but still ended up standing on the tip of my hooves. “If you really want to become in any way similar to me, then you might find yourself standing up for other ponies that are in need. Are you truly ready to face those adversities of life?”

Only then did I lower myself down to stand normally, and finding Fauna was easy afterwards, since she was a few feet away from my left. But her eyes are fixed on the little brown pony that smiles back eagerly.

“Hahahaha, I will have to say no,” she raises a hoof up, then her eyes narrow with something I seen countless of times: determination, “But someday, I will be ready. I will make you and many other ponies proud!”

“Remember, its best when you are the first to value your own actions. Not the other way around.”

I could’ve listened in to more, but I remained staring at Pebble’s raised hoof. Just the way she is using it right now, it’s the same to how humans raise a fist.

My attention is drifted to whatever is pressing lightly on my shoulder, so when my gaze fell on the green hoof, I moved it up to a pair of gentle blue eyes, “Have you decided on where you will go?”

My eyes instinctively moved downwards, I decided to go with you and Pebbles. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring the words past the lump in my throat, Any person with any bit of sanity would say the same thing. ...But then why…why am I…

“How about finding a reason first?” Her voice alone managed to pull my eyes back up, “Even if it’s a simple reason, such as following your instincts, as long as there is something that guides you, the path forward will remain straight until it’s time to learn something new.”

Reason…learning…and a path, I never had any of those, and I won’t pretend I have them now.

After I faced the nightmare of Sunshine Forest, I knew what to do next.

The words appeared naturally in my head, as if I been reciting them all this time.

As naturally as the words came, my eyelids went down in a slow, fluent motion. A lot has happened to me. I turned into a pony, in a world that is full of ponies and God knows what else. I rolled down a hill…and it hurt the enough to make me faint. I can’t even remember the name of my brother or my own…do I have parents? How much do I still remember? Am I even a human?

I felt something press lightly on my chest, and then it came. *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* Every heartbeat becomes stronger than the previous one. Not because it is beating stronger, but because my ears are…focusing more on them somehow. It is strange, even to me.

“You are still alive,” Fauna’s tone, at least for me, is relaxing, “isn’t that enough reason to push forward?”

I forced my eyes open – surprised it was so difficult – and the first thing I see is not the hoof on my chest or her soft gaze, but her motherly smile.

“I said this before, but I will say it one last time.” Her hoof moves back down, then she walks past me with an intoxicating scent of nature entering my nose, “As long as you are alive, you have the enough reason to push forward. That’s, your first lesson. What you do next is for you to decide.”

“…” speechless, I am quite familiar with that word, but strangely, that has not been the case lately. …I am…still alive. What is living? To exist or to have a purpose…maybe both? …I am…still alive. The noises of footsteps echoing in a hallway buzz in my ears, and the shadowy images of male and female students walking in it appear in my mind. …I am…still alive. Does it have to do with having friends…or maybe-

“How long are you gonna keep me waiting?”

T-That voice! It was hard to believe, but when I looked up, I can see an eighteen year old teen in his school uniform – a brown buttoned shirt covering his athletic buildup as the rest of his attire are black slacks and black formal shoes. No matter how much I tried to look up, my vision can never get past the collar of his shirt. “B-Brother?” I can feel how my lips turn into a crooked smile – funny how when I express the most sincere of emotions, some part of my face contorts in a bizarre way.

“If you want to act all weird, it’s fine by me, but can you at least do it on the way to school?” He extends his arm towards me with an open hand, “You are hopeless, you know that?” I can almost see his grin at this point, “We have a long day ahead of us, and the only way to get the best of it is if we move soon.”

Like if strings are pulling my movements, my arm rises on its own and is pulled closer to my big brother’s hand. And when I thought it was impossible to get surprised for the hundred time this day, my own frail hand rises into sight, inching closer before finally hovering next to his.

And in a flash, quite literally, my hand turned back into the black foreleg of that pony, my brother is gone, and in his place is Fauna’s wagon with a mountain of bags on it. Everything has reverted back.

My twisted smile sank down before I recognized what just happened, …What…happened, Or at least I tried.

I looked at my hoof and everything that’s behind it; it genuinely looks slimmer compared to Fauna. I don’t blame them for thinking I was a girl; I blame myself actually. Its my body after all, I am responsible for how it looks.

What am I doing? I placed my hoof on the ground. What am I complaining about? I can feel my gaze narrowing as I stared forward instead of letting it go down. If he were here, he tell me to stop moping over my own weaknesses and start moving. If this was him, he would have already found an exit out of this forest. And what have I done? Redundant question, I done nothing; I waited for Fauna to take me out of this nightmarish forest. I am still alive! I don’t know how far I will get, but I…but I… This moment of epiphany is new to me. My heart races, – not because I am scared – and even if other memories are gone, I am sure this is the first time I experience this.

I closed my eyes tightly as my head hunched a little, then my body began to shake, I…I…I… “I WANT TO DO THIS ON MY OWN!!!” I screamed the words before my mind could even form them. I was…living in the moment.

*Pant* *Pant* *Pant* *Pant* I blinked a few times, just noticing I had my eyes open, and just noticing the dark green sky in the center of my vision.

“The last time I heard somepony screaming like that, was after he received treatment by mommy.” I lowered my head down to meet her eyes, “Mommy has that effect on ponies. Makes them feel different.”

Effect? I think I feel different. …No, I do feel different! My chest is more puffed out, my back has straightened and my eyes aren’t wandering to the ground like they usually do. I, I can do this. I – my eyes drifted off to the left – Maybe it’s better to start after Fauna drops me in some town or something. …I do want to stay alive.

I cringed at my own thoughts, closing my eyes then reopening them with my gaze focused forward, NO! I…I have a reason to go…I-

After I faced the nightmare of Sunshine Forest, I knew what to do next.

Yes, listen to a strange book that for a strange reason I have. In this strange world full of ponies with strange magic and God knows what else is strange in this place.

After I faced the nightmare of Sunshine Forest, I knew what to do next.

Those words have been engraved in my mind. Fauna and Pebbles didn’t write this…at least I think; they don’t look like the type to pull a joke like this and not tell me. …No, they aren’t those kind of peop-ponies, they aren’t those kind of ponies.

After solving that issue, everything else came together on its own, I had a reason to go all this time,…but I was too scared to admit I had one. I learned…that I am still alive; I have…someone waiting for me, and that maybe he…no, I am sure he wouldn’t have waited. I am not sure about that straight path, but all I have to do is walk, and eventually I will get out of this forest…and eventually…maybe, in some years…get back to my… I can almost see it in my mind’s eye; that red door of our house swings open, and there he is, standing with his eyes covered in pure disbelief as they begin to water. Then he pulls me into a brotherly embrace because for two reasons.

He hadn’t seen me for years, and he didn’t want me to see him cry, “Idiot! *Sob * You are back home. *Sob *…You are actually back home.” His voice is cracking for the first time.

Big brother…actually crying… It’s no exaggeration that image of him made me tremble. W-What am I doing?! I-I already decided what to do!

“Hehehehe,” I looked over the wagon and didn’t see Pebbles, “hehehehe.” But to my right…
“Hehe, I am sorry, but hehe,” her head is pointing to the side with a hoof over her snout, “its been an eternity when I last saw this. The internal struggle, the resolution to move on your own, and the light in your eyes.” She turns her head, her lively eyes staring at me with a bright smile to match it, “Go on already. You made a decision, right? Then go and see your brother.”

I can feel a small smile, an actual gentle smile, creeping up on me. After a nod, I turned around, but to what direction? Right now I know I have to get home, as to where that is, it can be anywhere, so I began running forward with an unshakable resolution.

That’s right, I have a brother to se- I pressed my front hooves down and skid to stop s-s-see? Sweat formed on my forehead as that crocked smile appeared again, “D-D-Did you sayyyy,” I managed to turn my head even when my neck stiffened, “I have to go meet my brother?” How did she knew that?!

“Yup! You were” she raised a hoof and extended it forward as if to reach something “…brother.”

My cheeks started to heat up faster than last time, up to the point where my entire face is on fire. And how am I so sure of this? Pebbles’ growing laugh is all I need.

“HahahaheheheHaHaHa” she falls to her side and clutches her stomach as if where to burst open “HahahaHaHa, forgive me, but Hehehe Haha, but it brings back so many good memories.” Tears of joy downpour her cheeks like none I seen before. “HeHeHeHeHeHeHe hahaha hahaha. I – hehehehe – I won’t forget you; I – hahahaha – I pro – hahahahaha – mise.”

“C-C-C-Can you do me one favor please. J-Just…don’t tell anybody about these.”

“D – hahaha – Don’t worry.” That laugh-fest she had ended, for the most part. Pebbles gets up and brushes tears off her cheeks, “I have no idea who anybody is, but we promise.” She added a strange emphasis on the ‘we’ part, and as if to clear her point, she moves her raised hoof forward and does a circular motion with it.

Simple enough gesture for me to understand; I turned around and almost meet eye-to-eye with Fauna, …at this point, I don’t care how she got behind me. Sounds rude, but she already done this before.

Her eyes close, and she leans in closer as her snout heads directly into mine.

Unlike before, I immediately felt a cold breeze before backpedaling in full speed. I zoomed past Pebbles, then felt the cold hard surface of the carriage. With my exit blocked, I scurried to my hind legs and leaned back on the carriage. *PantPantPantPant* “T-T-That is Getting Old!” third of it was shouted with anger, half of it with the embarrassment I am feeling, and the rest was utter exhaustion.

Fauna’s response is a light giggle as she tilts her head to the side.

“Mommy, no fair! Why do you get to tease him?” Pebbles points a hoof at me as she gives her mom a ‘menacing’ glare.

“Since he is about to leave, I might as well give him a proper goodbye.”

“Moooom!” she puffs her cheeks and gives her a pout, “It’s not fair you get to tease him when I can’t, and we both know you weren’t about to kiss him.”

Her words cause Fauna’s eyes to widen; her green hoof moves up to press against her lower lip, “Really?” An air of innocence is created around her as her words are softer than usual, “Maybe I am just feeling lonely and I –” She is cut off by her own sudden outburst of laughter.

I tried giving her my own ‘menacing’ glare, but my lips quivered, a few sweat-drops rolled down my face, and honestly, I am astonished by what I am seeing.

Pebbles blocks her own mouth with hoof, then her shoulders and head trouble until “Hahahahahahahaha!”

Her laughing-fit begins again, and where I stand at this? As a spectator witnessing a moment shared between a mother and daughter, Is a family supposed to act like this? ...If so, what about mine? How was I with mine? …Nothing came to mind to answer, only a cold blank.

My heartbeat has slowed down; I looked down at the grass for a moment before narrowing my gaze. I placed my hooves back on the ground and began to walk to them.

When Fauna caught sight of me, her laughter, and Pebbles, slowly died out, but their smiles still remained. “I see you came to a decision, but I hope Pebbles and I didn’t force you into it.”

I stopped close to her, – almost too close for my own good – “N-No, I…” My gaze naturally shifted to the grass, but I forced them to look straight into her eyes again, “I-I learned I have to make my own decisions; I can’t wait for some” I paused, thinking of the right word, “somepony to make that decision for me. I…I don’t know if it’s the right one, but I…I have to try. I…I want to see if I am wrong or not.”

“But is proving yourself right what’s motivating-”

I shook my head, then my gaze went down on its own, probably because I cut her sentence midway, “I…I have my reasons.” It’s because I am listening to this book that I don’t remember ever getting. That’s a ‘sane’ answer…but…but I have that with me for some reason, right? …Why else would I have it?

“He he he he he,” when I look at her again, she nods as if…approving of me! Actually approving! “I wouldn’t have believed you grown so much if I hadn’t seen it for myself, but it would be for the better.” She stops talking, but I didn’t understand why until I saw her hoof rise into my sight. It moved closer to my face, and then…I flinched. I flinched, the moment she touched my forehead; her hoof moved back, then slowly, cautious not to scare me like before, it inches closer.

…It took time, but finally, my eyes widened. It is as surreal as the moment I first opened my eyes in this forest, yet it feels too real, too warm and kind to the touch. Her caressing my unorderly bangs is like a rare dream I never want to wake from. “The next time we see each other, can you promise to show me how much you grown?”

I nodded without hesitation or even wondering if there is going to be a next time, but before I could question myself, I was pulled…into a hug.

My head rested comfortably on her neck, just under her head, as I could only stare dumbfounded at the trees.

“It’s all right,” I trembled under her soothing tone. “I am not letting you go until you say so.”

*THUMP* I could hear my heartbeat again, but this time is different. Its more than a sound, it is also…pain. That’s an understatement; it’s more like my emotions are running wild with anger, loneliness, desperation, and the last, what I can only describe as the cold hand of death. And the scariest part is I don’t know where it all came; it’s just there.

My chest rose up and down as my breathing quickened. *PantPantPant*

“Hey! I wanna join too.” Something pressed against my neck as – I am pretty sure – a hoof also pressed around it. I looked down to see Pebbles – the side of her head resting on my neck, and her other hoof around Fauna’s neck (a little under where my head is as she had to jump in order to do this, leaving her suspended in the air).

W…what are they doing? …Why are they acting so strange? …W-Why am I acting so strange? I bit my lower lip in a failed attempt to stop my jaw from trembling. W-Why? Why?! A hot tear rolled down my cheek, Why?! Why does it hurt so much?! My vision blurred by the water surrounding it.

Soon, I couldn’t contain it any longer. …I cried. I cried until it didn’t hurt any longer. …No, it wasn’t crying. I was…wailing, embarrassingly so.

~*~

I finally managed to wipe off the dry tears that accumulated on my cheeks and under my eyes, That…was embarrassing. I hope that never happens again. With drama and wailing done, I fixed my gaze to the trees ahead, I…wasted enough time. …Not wasted, but…I should have done this a long time ago.

“The longer you wait, the harder it will be to walk alone.” I turn around and see Fauna a few feet away – and Pebbles opening and closing some of the bags in the carriage.

“Y-Yeah, I was just…” Thinking of how I wasted my time here when you were the ones who saved me. That’s not what I want to say. I… My gaze momentarily shifted to the side, “I…I…”

“You’re welcome.”

I blinked once, “Huh? You…knew?” Shouldn’t be surprised anymore…but, she did surprise me with that second…‘kiss’.

After a nod, she continues, “I have two last things to tell you, but if you’re bored of constantly hearing me rambling, you are more than free to leave.”

I knew what she did there, even I am not that dumb. My lips turned into an awkward smile, T-That is not really fair. “Um…I was…still going to listen.”

A light giggle escapes her, “Relax. I won’t force you listen if you are not really interested.”

“B-B-But I am really interested! I-I promise!” Any kind of motivation is helpful.

I could feel her stare turning into a glare as her smile didn’t twitch nor falter, “…Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Every single word stung deeper than the previous one, especially coming from a pony that never showed this kind of subtle anger. But that heavy atmosphere banished by Fauna’s calm tone.
“I want you to make a second promise to me.”

D-Did she just…what was all that? ‘Surprisingly’ enough, my question went unanswered, or ignored…

“Don’t ever, ever, go back against your word. Think you can do that?”

Not wanting to make her doubt me, I did a quick nod.

“As for the last, it’s a third promise, but this is the most important. Whatever you go through in your journey, and your encounters with the many ponies you will meet, don’t let any of it change who you are.”

“W…what?” That’s a weird promise, but “O-Okay. Well, thanks, for everything.” I was about to turn around, but was stopped by her voice.

“One last thing before you really leave.”

“What!” I could hear an exasperated sigh inside my mind as my ears perked up.

She closed her eyes followed by a light giggle, “This is more of a thank you gift.” Her horn started glowing blue, “Please, take it.” After she finished, a blue light appeared at the corner of my vision.

I turned my head to see the white flower that emanates a soft white light. Up close, I noticed the tip of its long petals curl downwards into a circle. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it when the flower was placed in my jungle of hair.

Its natural white light is unbelievably delicate to my eyes even when it’s this close.

“Keep that with you,” I turned my head back, but I see her already walking towards her carriage, “may its light shine life when you lost yours. And if its meaning is too complicated to understand, then I will leave you this last remark.” She stops, then turns her head to show me a faithful smile and a small glint in her eye; her hair, glistening a pure emerald, surrounds her in a soft angelic radiance, even giving a mystical shine to her blue eyes.

I...I can’t believe I am saying this, but...she looks gorgeous. Now I know something is wrong with me. I focused on her - on her words - before she noticed I was...distracted.

“One act of bravery is paid by another.”

Her words are simple to understand, but I think they are wasted on someone like me. And being truthful to her word, she resumes her walking without saying anything else.

“Hey! Over here!” I moved my gaze up and see Pebbles checking over some of the bags. “Are you going to leave, oo~ooor” the moment she turns her head, a terrifyingly large grin and taunting eyes manifest too quickly, causing sweat on my face and shivers on my body “are you going to keep looking at my mommy’s buns?”

A very familiar heat gathers on my cheeks, If I get the metaphor right, she means- I look over to Fauna; she is about to put on those strap thingies…harness, that’s what they are called.

When she notices me, the first thing she does is wink, “You are a little too late.”

That’s all what’s needed to make a burning blush ignite so suddenly. I raised both hooves and shook them in protest, “N-N-N-No! No no no no! I-I just-I just” as this, what I like to call, most embarrassing moment (currently number one on the list) is transpiring, I noticed how both my hooves are off the ground. I lower my head down to see them better, Huh, I can actually – gravity soon did its work on me. Pulling my upper body down and crashing chin first. Ow…again, forgot to use my hooves… yet again.

I raised myself up and could already hear childish giggles. “You are too easy to tease. Has anypony told you that?”

“N-No, not really?” Wanting to end my embarrassment as soon as possible, I turned around and began walking to some unknown section of the forest. “Well, goodbye. See ya again, sometime later.”

“Best wishes on your journey,” I could easily recognize Fauna’s warm voice.

“Be good. Don’t be a stranger.” Will be a long time till I hear Pebble’s voice again. A…unique child, but…I will really miss her; she is so full of life.

As I passed the first of the many countless trees, I thought of what they last said, and…something was…odd.

I turned my head. Pebbles is still on top, talking to her mother about something as she began to pull the carriage.

Maybe I am just…never mind. I am just being dumb right now. With nothing left for me here, I gazed back at the mixed horizon of green, blue celeste and darkness.

*Sigh* Why do I feel…like I am actually doing the right choice? Deciding to leave that answer for later, I took the first step out of the many that will take me to get out of Lostshine Forest.