Bliss in Darkness

Humble Beginnings

"So now that we know where your true allegiances lie, I think now would be an appropriate time to end your miserable existence."

"What the hell are you talking about? I've found peace! You were the one who told me that I had gone too far!"

"I know who you really are. My friend Salazar has been all too kind to fill in the details for me."

"What? No.. You didn't."

"Didn't what? I'm not going to put up with this any longer. You can go back to your precious ponies when your body rots in hell."

***

I awoke trembling, beads of sweat trickling down my face. It didn't contain memories of the past like my previous nightmares had. This was something entirely different. Before I had a chance to analyze the meaning of my dream, it faded from my mind as all dreams do. The details were blurry, as though it never even happened. Still, it left me in a state of terror as I got up to start my day early.

The clock had just struck four in the morning, and I decided I would go join Princess Celestia as she rose the sun. I had not talked to Celestia since our private meeting last night, and I wanted to know her true feelings about me. It couldn't be too bad, because she had given me one of the nicest rooms in the castle to sleep in until more permanent arrangements were made. High vaulted ceilings, great view of the beautiful Equestrian landscape, and all the breakfast rolls I could ever ask for. The bed was far too short, but hey how could I complain. After last night, I finally had a reason to live the rest of my life. That would be enough to keep a spring in my step for quite some time.

I had talked to Rarity right after my meeting with the Princesses, and she agreed to get to work on proper clothes in return for all my information on earth fashion. I knew next to nothing of that subject, but I'm sure I could explain to her all the intricate workings of a pair of jeans. She wouldn't have had time to make me anything last night, even with all of Canterlot's fabric at her disposal, so I donned my stylish ripped dress and set out to search for the goddess of the sun.

I arrived at her door shortly after the clock struck five, and knew she would be up preparing for sunrise in a few minutes. I knocked three times, the hard wood and metal of the door smooth on my knuckles. I was intrigued as how soft the wood was, and began to feel it with my open palm. It felt more like soft plastic than wood, but it also seemed impossibly hard to breach. Just as I was finished inspecting her entryway, Princess Celestia herself opened the door. We exchanged a brief greeting and I asked if I could have a word with her. She agreed happily and shut the door behind me with a satisfying thud.

"What is it that you would like to speak with me about?" Celestia said opening her large drapes with her magic, enabling the last of the moon's glow enter into her chamber.

"I was just curious as to your thoughts of me. In all honesty, I was expecting you to have me executed." I spoke with sudden eloquence. There was something about the royal sisters that forced me to speak with perfect grammar and precision. It was probably my subconscious telling me to continue to make a good lasting impression on them.

"Well Charlie, from the story you told me last night I think you are a very misunderstood individual. Your genetic condition labeled you as different, and your people turned on you. If I didn't know better, I would say they just wanted your power for themselves. You did not lie to us last night, and that speaks volumes of your integrity. I fully welcome you into my land... however if there comes a time when you threaten my ponies, I will have to take appropriate action." She said lovingly, and then sternly.

"Thank you, Princess. I will do all in my power to make my existence here more than tolerable." I said with a bow as I exited her chambers. I liked the princess in all honesty, but she was too bright for my taste. She was intense to be around and I felt like I could not relax and be myself. I could do so, however, with Luna.

I would have paid her a visit, but she had been up all night, as she is accustomed. I thought about her as I walked back to my chambers to fully prepare for my day. I had no idea why she had such a strong hold over me. She wasn't even a human being, yet there was an undeniable attraction. I wondered if my feelings could be mutual.

'No way... she is a pony. More like a god anyways. I never even had a chance with normal earth girls, let alone century old moon goddesses.' I thought as I strolled the halls of the great castle. The design of the castle was familiar, and I soon placed my finger on it. It was the same as the castle that Nightmare Moon lived in! Granted the rooms were more grand, the ceilings were higher and more angular, and the whole place was new and colorful but the layout remained very similar.

As my thoughts ranged from potential feelings for Luna, to the castle architecture I soon found myself face to face with the door to my room. I entered with glee, as I was ready for a nap. I crashed down on the bed and curled up into a ball to prevent my feet from dangling off. I would have to get a larger bed soon. My thoughts again drifted back to Luna once again as my mind drifted to sleep.

***

"What are you doing here? Princess Celestia requested your audience over two hours ago!" I heard a voice screaming at me from above my blanket. I peeked my head out from under the covers only to find a very angry Twilight Sparkle glaring at me.

"Bleaahhegghhhhhhhhh" I said as my minds tried to find the words 'Ten more minutes.' and rolled up like an armadillo.

"Just come on! This is important!" She said as she yanked off my covers.

"Ok fine... god damn it.." I said crankily as I rose from my slumber. The past few weeks have been hell for my sleeping schedule and I needed to catch up.

'I guess it would be a good idea to be punctual for the Princesses...' I thought as I looked at the clock. 'Holy shit! It's six o'clock?!' I was supposed to have been there at three.

"Twilight! Go stall the princesses!" I shouted to the inquisitive purple mare. She shot me a glance that seemed to say 'One does not simply stall the princesses...' but I had no time to lose. I hurried through my room trying to find my best, and only, article of clothing and was surprised to find a stack of fresh, clean and even warm clothes. I guess Rarity had time after all... Damn she was speedy. With much haste I hopped into the tiny pony shower in the tiny pony bathroom and brushed my teeth with a tiny pony toothbrush. At this rate I would have to employ the services of all the crafts ponies in the district to get myself a proper god damn living space. I searched through my new clothes to find what I had requested Rarity to make.

"How about... Something like this?" Rarity said as she held up a book full of the latest pony fashions.

"How about that... but black." I said, trying desperately to find some kind of outfit that wouldn't make me look like a walking Christmas tree.

"Oh you are so difficult!" Sighed the white unicorn.

"Well if you aren't good enough to make my outfits I'll have to go to somepony else..." I said with a mischievous wink.

"Oh no you're not! I'll make it black! I'll make it blacker than the deepest depths of..."

I ceased my flashback, snapping back to reality. Inside my clothes pile, I found five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, several pairs of dark jeans, three t shirts, and a long black cloak with green highlights. The green was her idea. She said it would 'bring out my eyes' or some fashion mumbo jumbo. To be honest, my eyes scared the shit out of most of the ponies I looked at so the last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to them. Rarity was difficult enough to deal with, so I didn't try to get her to change anything.

I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in days. I looked like shit. Specifically speaking, I was unruly and unkempt and  generally looked like I had been homeless for years. Technically that was true, but if I was going to make a big appearance tonight I would have to look a notch above 'Vagrant'. Luckily for me, the previous owner seemed to be a mane stylist, so I was in luck as I found several pairs of scissors and clippers in the bathroom drawers. How earth ponies and pegasi used such appliances was beyond me, but I had no time to contemplate. I combed my matted hair out and to my astonishment, it was about three feet long.

"Well shit. Looks like time really flew by when I was getting tortured." I said looking at my grossly long hair. How I hadn't noticed it before was beyond me, but I had no time to contemplate that either. I began cutting it shorter, and shorter, until it was a comfortable shoulder length. I then slicked it back and threw it in a ponytail. I laughed at my unintentional pun, and then took the pony tail out. I decided I looked well enough with it slicked back like that, so I drew my attention to my small colony of a beard.

A dozen snips later I looked less like a caveman and mirrored that of an established entrepreneur. Quite satisfied with my looks I grabbed my cloak and put it on. It fit a little more loose than I was accustomed to, but it was better than wearing a skirt made of a ripped ballroom gown. I set off to find the meeting, feeling confident in my new look.

***

"Princess Celestia! I found him in his room but he was... well... asleep..." Twilight whispered to her mentor. Celestia just laughed and told her not to worry.

"Charlie has been through a lot these past few years... He deserves a good nap."

"What do you mean by that Princess?" Twilight asked, her natural curiosity showing through brightly.

"Well... I'm not sure if it would be appropriate of me to tell you. I think it would make him... uncomfortable."

"I understand Princess. I'll just have to get the answers when I'm on my new assignment!"

The party continued, eagerly awaiting its guest of honor.

***

"I thought this would be more of a meeting than a party..." I said as the halls thickened with ponies. I had been walking for ten minutes, and the closer I get to the throne room the more condensed the sea of ponies became. Some of them looked in awe, some in terror, and all in disbelief upon seeing me, but I walked the halls with my head held high eager to figure out what the Princess will ask of me. I never got around to discussing a job with the Princess, and I was thinking I could go into the medical field. The ability to heal almost any wound would probably open up many possibilities. Then again, I would hate to be a doctor. That is far too boring.

I continued to contemplate my profession as I entered the throne room. To my surprise, it was completely deserted. I flagged down a nearby guard to ask what all the commotion was about. I figured the gossip had spread around the city that there was a strange creature lurking about the castle halls or something. As far as I knew, this would be another quiet meeting with the princesses.

I thought wrong.

I followed the guard’s aggravatingly vague instructions to the ballroom. Why the princesses would hold a meeting in a ballroom was totally beyond me, but it was their castle. I waded through a small ocean of ponies before I finally spotted a familiar deep blue alicorn.

"So uh... what’s all the fuss about?" I said loudly, trying to get her attention. She turned around, wide eyed as she looked at me. She stared at me for several seconds before I noticed and spoke again.

"What, is there something on my face?"

"No... you look great! I was just... unaccustomed to seeing you like this. Follow me!" She said, a visible blush appearing on her face. Maybe she could be more than a friend after all... Luna led me right to princess Celestia, who was standing in the middle of the room surrounded by guards and ponies.

"Greetings Princess!" I said as cheesy as possible, accompanied by light bow.

"Charlie? You cleaned up rather nicely! I thought all humans were dirty creatures..." She said, obviously trying to get on my nerves a bit.

"No no, I just noticed I looked like I had been living under a rock for the past few years. Mind telling me what half the Equestrian population is doing here?" I said trying to switch the conversation to a more serious tone.

"Well.. the party was supposed to be a surprise but you never showed up. It was all her idea." She said as she pointed to a pink blur zipping across the room at inconceivable speeds. Suddenly, the blurry mass became a pony right in front of my face.

"Hello Pinkie Pie. So you like to party huh?" I asked, knowing how painfully obvious the answer was.

"Ohmygosh YES! One time I partied for like four days straight and I thought I was going to pass out but I didn't and it was SO cool! I can't believe I actually pulled that off because I didn't eat anything but cupcakes and ice cream and frosting for three days! If you like to party, you know the pony to call!" Replied Pinkie in one never ending lung of breath.

"Oh. I see. Well I thank you for the thought, and I am indeed enjoying myself. Your element suits you very well." I said in a cheery voice. I had never attended a party before, but had participated in many drinking contests. I prepared myself for countless questions about earth as I set out into the ballroom. Maybe living here would be more enjoyable than I previously thought. One last time I cast a glance over to Luna, catching her staring at me. I gave her a quick wink and a small smile as I pushed my way to the other end of the room.

I took another look at Pinkie Pie. Not to my surprise, I found her near the sugary food. I set off to mingle, when another table caught my eye.

"Say Pinkie, that wouldn't happen to be... alcohol would it?"

"Oh yeah! That's AppleJack Daniels! Wanna try some?"

Ignoring the corny name, and the striking similarity to something I've heard of and possibly imbibed, I set off into the party dual wielding two bottles of Equestria's finest whiskey.

Authors Notes: This chapter was pretty funny, but don't worry. For those of you who are out for blood, be patient. Hell is coming to Equestria very soon....