Twilight was having one of those days. You know, one of THOSE days. First there was the parasprites that somehow got into their base camp (she lost her current favorite book to them) Then there was the avalanche. (She still had snow in places she didn't want to think about). And now here she was, right in front a skull that had just sneezed... Science had failed her, logic took a vacation and forgot to write, OH! and common sense just told her to go buck herself... Yep, it was one of those days alright.

At least she wasn’t having one of those weeks. In fact it was quite the contrary as her week had begun with finding a book hidden in one of those little compartments that seemed to be a secret to everypony scattered about her home. It was one of those old tomes, bound in.. Ugh… Leather. The kind that had long since gone out of style due to a general consensus that they were disgusting. Normally she wouldn’t have given it a second look, but the author had caught her eye and with it her interest.

“Dogma of the Second Age by Starswirl the Bearded.”

If that didn’t get the little fanfilly in her going than nothing would. Her entire monday was dedicated to reading through that thick book. Just like that her plans to go learn those Zebrican meditation techniques went right out the bloody window. By the time the sun had set she’d finished the book and thus began her second reading, the one in which notes are taken!

That was what she spent her tuesday doing, rereading and taking down notes on the part of this book that just called to her like a siren’s song. A good portion of the tome was dedicated to what Starswirl called “The Northern Dragons” and just how shockingly different they were from the common Equestrian dragons. One passage in particular had caught her eye.

“It is commonly accepted knowledge that the dragons who once lived in the far north were tyrannical beings of boundless rage and hate. It was from them that the windigos came, buoyed along by their foul breath... One should not always believe the dogma of an age long passed however."

That one little passage… Well, to say the least it took hold of Twilight’s mind and steered it along like a pack pony behind a Hobbit. If Starswirl himself had thought there might be more to these northern dragons… Well, she just had to learn all she could!

...Turns out that wasn’t much. What little actual solid information there was in “Dogma” told her nothing of real substance. It simply spoke of how, even during Starswirl’s time, these dragons were thought to have been "Mindless beasts. Cold and hard as the land in which they lived. Tyrants of the ice." Well that didn’t sit too well with her, and so she went digging further. That brought her to Wednesday.

A little jaunt off to Canterlot and the royal archives got her a bit more. A little description and comparison between the two dragonic subspecies for one. Not much, but it was still interesting. According to her research, the northern dragons had only a name and overall shape in common with the Equestrian dragons. They were, in general, a little larger and stockier. Their scales always tended towards wintery colors. Gems weren't food for them, they were predators, and the main reason for the lack of caribou. Considering how rugged the area they lived in it made sense that they'd reflect that she supposed. Much more built towards surviving the cold climate and ensuring the species survived.

The Equestrian dragons however didn’t seem plagued by this at all. Along the lines they’d gained the ability to consume gems and other minerals and that was where their strength lay. Evolution played its hoof and their mineral rich diet made their scales almost unbreakable over the years. They didn’t have to fight for anything really, as nothing could harm them or pierce their armored scales.

Well, that had been interesting, but still… Not what she had been looking for. And so she dug deeper and thus came up with what she’d been looking for. A good solid mention of where these dragons had once lived. Once upon a time, even before the Crystal Empire had been founded, the frozen north had been home to these dragons of the ice and snow. Specifically their capital had been the solitary mountain near the extreme edge of that place.

Twilight, after that discovery, had fallen asleep right at the stroke of midnight. Her entire Thursday was spent face down, muzzle buried in a book, sound asleep.

Friday had been spent gathering what she needed for an expedition, which was really just getting her friends together. Within hours her and the rest of the mane six were shoehorned into the royal car of the Friendship Express to the Crystal Empire, chatting excitedly about what might await them. Grand piles of treasure, ancient knowledge lost to the ages, glory, fame, and a few other things… Maybe a shot at playing at being Daring Do.

That brings us to Saturday. A saturday filled with parasprites, snow, and sneezing skulls. Not what she really wanted after teleporting everypony from the crystal palace to The Lone Mountain. Sure, that had been a pretty easy feat for her now that she was an alicorn… But still, she’d slept like a rock that night.

I however, wasn’t to know a bit of this. What I did know was that I had a purple horse with a horn and wings (and stylishly pithy helmet) screaming right in my face as five more mini-horses came running. Now, I might have woken up an undead dragon and all that, but frankly I found the fact that I was being charged at to be a bit more of a cause for alarm right then and there.

Scrabbling about, my claws clacking loudly against the stone floor, I hastily backed away. Apparently small equines find moving piles of bones to be as frightening as I find them running at me to be disconcerting because no sooner had I done that then a collective nope rolled through them all.
Six miniature horses, five of whom had but a moment ago been charging in like the bear cavalry, all went tripping over themselves in a rush to get together in a tight little huddle of horse-flesh. Sure, they were shaking like leaves, but the were shooting me looks that would have probably been intimidating if they were… Actually intimidating. Which is to say… If they weren’t adorable.

Aside from the purple pithy pony there was a pink one that seemed to be stricken with a case of the shakes because she stood there vibrating and shakily stuttering out something about this being a doozy. Now, the term pink might be misleading because she was pink in much the same way as the sun is bright… Which is to say very much so. Pink fur, darker pink mane, a lightish red (PINK!) vest that had “Level 15 bard” written on the back of it… Yep. Pink, and apparently a bard if the advertising wasn’t false.

Then there was one dressed as a bit of a bad western stereotype. Rawhide stetson, rugged looking coat, well built and solid as a rock even at first glance. She was orage, and was frankly the one with the second best death glare… Also the only one there who looked as if she could do some damage. The hat and coat though just made me wonder if she’d be pulling a revolver from somewhere and talking through clinched teeth.

Next to her was a riot of color and ruffled feathers. This little bundle of quivering wings was a nice stately blue color… Right up till you got to the mane and tail. Then it seemed as if someone had dropped multiple buckets of paint on her. Seriously, either that or her parents were geneticists who REALLY loved clowns and wanted a daughter in the circus. Aside from the multi-colored mane and such however those eyes of her’s were probably best suited to glaring. They were red. Everyone knows red eyes make for the best glares, evil or otherwise.

Another one of them caught my eye by virtue of being the whitest thing I’d seen in a long damn time. Seriously, who carved a mini-horse outta marble and breathed life into it… Then saw fit to add in a purple mane and tail that looked as if they’d been left in a curler or twenty for an obscenely long time? I had no clue, but I did know this. Horn on head, too much make up, and an up-do that would not be out of place on a overly glamorize porn set made me want to avoid poking her. One should be careful when touching working girls after all.

It took me a bit to notice the last one, mostly because she was the only one not looking at me as if I kicked a puppy and needed to die, but her hiding behind the others helped in that regard as well. She was a buttery yellow color that brought to mind warm summer sun over a field of daisies… Or some such bull shit. Her mane and tail, both overly long, were a light rose color and apparently made for great curtains if the way she hide behind them was any indication.

Anyways, pardon the rambling nature of my observational skills when freshly awoken, and in such a rude manner too.

Frowning, or at least attempting to, from my place near the wall formed by mother’s rib cage, I stared back at them all for what seemed like hours. None of us moved, aside from a slight twitch or two on their various parts, until a sneeze once again broke the stillness of the tomb. A sneeze that brought forth an explosion of confetti and sent the pink one back a few feet.

I couldn’t help it, years of social norms weighed heavily upon me and I opened my mouth. “Bless you.” I said, at least as far as I’m aware. Lemme tell you, what came out was not a polite little blessing of pardon for a sneeze… No, what rolled out over my teeth and jaw bones was… A seriously dusty sounding coughing fit. No the “Bless you.” came after that stopped. Much to the apparent surprise of the little horsies.

“Uhh, did that thar thang jus’ say summat?” asked the orange one. “Cuz I swar’ I done heard it say summat.”

“Silly AJ, he said ‘Bl-hackcoucghcoughhack bless you.’ Weren’t you paying attention?” This came from the pink one.

“Oh, well, ‘ight then… What tha hay is it, anyhow?” asked AJ after a moment, blinking in a manner that highly suggested a slight reboot to her brain had just occurred.

The answer came from little miss pith helmet herself. You know, the one who thought it would be funny to scream right in a fellow’s face first thing in the… Well, when he was sleeping anyways. She was rather long winded about it so I’ll paraphrase for you.

“Well, judging from the fact that its obviously a set of reanimated dragon bones, a northern dragon at that, and that it spoke plain Equish I can safely assume its some form of tomb guardian. Most likely a spirit bound to the bones there through dark magic.” ...Or some such bull shit anyways. Long story short she thought I was essentially a forbidden magical guard for this place. And, in her own words, “Obviously not a very good one if its not attacked yet.”

It was then that I chose to chime in. “Technically I’m undea-” only to be rudely interrupted by a blue ball of fur and feathers impacting my snout at high speeds. The impact knocked my skull right off and send it rolling about.

Sounding supremely smug the little ballistic pony projectile let out a little guffaw at my predicament before she spoke in one of the most grating voices I have ever heard. “For a whatever you said Twi it sure ain’t that tough.”

Had I not been directing my body in a scramble after my head in what I’m sure looked like something out of a cartoon I would have had a witty remark about cheap shots and those who employed them. All in all, I’d just been handed a first contact type of thing, and lost my head over it… Oh joy… Even I’m not immune to bad puns.

Author's Note

And here we have ponies proper. More shall be coming eventually. My bouts of creativity are few and far between these days... I blame AI honestly, and specifically their art program. Sapped my love of drawing right out of me and made doing things like this a chore.

Any errors will be fixed as this is being uploaded prior to editing. That's what happens when you do things at 4:30am eh?