A New Life

Snow...

That's all I could focus on without talking to myself alone. I was in my father's car, I didn't want to ask much because he seemed mad when I looked at his face, but when I had I really good question to ask it didn't seem to go very bad at all, but I guess it was just because it was a good question.

''A...aa... asshu!'' I sneezed, thanks to me not holding it.

''God bless you, son.'' said my father without looking at me, he was focused on the road.

I took the chance knowing that my father had talked to ask a question I was surprised I didn't ask, and also because my father didn't really mention it during the whole trip.

''Where are we headed?'' I asked.

''...'' he didn't say anything.

''Dad?'' I called him.

''We're going to a bigger house, where all the money I spend goes to you and me... only.'' he said, straight.

''Ok...'' I replied.

I looked back at the snow, it was so beautiful combined with the town's colors and design, I started wondering in my mind, taking me to memories that I had from hours hours ago...

I thought about my friends, how I said goodbye to them... I always thought about that, I asked myself that question the whole day, what if I went away from my school and never came back? Would my friends cry, hug me or miss me? I always answered that with a no, I guess I don't worth that much...

And well... I started reconsidering that today in my last day in the old school, some people cried because I was going, and it seemed strange to me, I even said ''I didn't know you loved me so much!'' while they were all hugging me.

I had two crushes in my old school... the first one brought me a lot of depression in life when she rejected my date, and the second... I never talked to her in a normal way, she was always with her friends and I didn't wanna talk because I knew her friends wouldn't let me talk to her.

Those two crushes had been in my head for almost my whole life, except for the first one, she started getting uglier more and more, I didn't even know why I even liked her after I entered the real world of rejection and sadness; I still felt something for the second one...  Daisy... too bad those bad friendships she had brainwashed her, when Jessica came into their group it all changed, I always knew she was the one with the fault for changing her attitude, I hope she dies one day...

And well... I had the fame for being a hippie, but that died when I said something on a website called Ask.fm that was very... unpleasant for some people; someone called me ugly and sent a photo of me to a lot of girls where I looked pretty bad and asked ''1-10?''.

Of course, I looked pretty bad in the photo and everyone said 0 or -1, I got mad and I threw a curse a him/she, whoever it was, I said some pretty gory and heartless words to that anonymous (It was a person without showing his/her face, that was one reason of why I hated Ask.fm), I said that he would die burned alive, and while that was happening I would laugh and invite everyone who he/she insulted to reunite and laugh at him while he burns.

Then I said that I would kick him off a cliff while he was dead, that I would stab him and take his organs out, cook them and serve them in the family's dinner so that all his family eats himself/herself without knowing it. I also said that I would feed his/her pet with them, and I would burn it just like him, I didn't realized I said such a heartless thing until it was 2 weeks past the incident.

I hoped for his/her death and well, you know everything else... he/she started insulting at me more, but carefully, I didn't listen to it after that because I had already sent all my anger to him/her.

At least I gave him/her some fear from me, but the bad thing was not that... I got famous for it... a bad fame, I laughed at it at first but then... I knew it was a mistake, people didn't treat me the same, they treated me carefully and nobody was bothering me because they feared that what happened to the anonymous would happen to them.

I tried to explain that it was all a joke, well... not a joke... a cruel joke, some people understood and some people got a different description of who they thought I was, if they bother me too much they could die.

I hated that fame, but thanks to my moving-out-day that would be gone, but that answer is out there forever in the internet... at least my parents never knew anything about it.

People didn't like me anymore, and I knew it was my fault, but at least I tried to fix things and I did... a bit... most of it is fucked-up...

''Hey, Axl!'' dad called me.

''Huh?'' I looked up ''W-what?''

''What's wrong?'' he stopped the car and turned around to look at me.

''I...''

''You look sad.'' he said to me with a cheap smile.

''Well... you and mom got divorced, and all my friends are gone, why wouldn't I be sad?'' I lied with a little bit of truth.

He took a deep breath, my dad kinda got mad because I mentioned the divorce thing but he didn't yell at me (I thank God for that), he looked down for a while and then looked up at me.

''I know this is hard for you son, but sometimes... life might get a left turn, and you're not used to the left hand right?''

I looked at my left arm ''You never use it, and if you think you do then you're wrong, because it is not the same as using the right hand, you have to learn how to use it because your other arm got amputated, you have to start from the very beginning, even if you like it or not.'' my dad gave me an example of the situation.

I looked down ''...''

''I'm sorry, you actually use the left arm? Then think about it the other way, it's the same thing. But keep in mind, in these situations there are no ambidextrous people around here, there are just right handed and left handed people.'' he explained.

''Ok...'' I said while looking down.

''Now, get your head up, we're here.'' after he said that he shut the car on again and took the steering wheel.

''We are?'' I asked.

''Yes.'' another straight answer from my dad.

He drove the car down a road where there were a lot of luxurious and big houses, I was stunned once I saw all those lights, the simple white color and the houses' design, I had never seen so much luxury before!

The last thing I could wait for is that none of these houses are ours, we would be the only people around the luxurious houses with a normal house, we would be the only people with a house with green walls and a wooden floor around so much white colors... I even prayed for it not to happen.

I didn't want to say anything stupid like 'wow' or 'man look at all these houses!', no, I just opened my mouth and looked at everything, surprised, stunned, anything you wanna call it.

Actually, I had been in a luxurious place before, but I never thought that in my whole life I would own a luxurious place! That I would live in a luxurious house! Oh... I couldn't wait to see our house... then again, who knows if we actually get one...

Dad slowed down until the car finally stopped and didn't move anymore.

''Here we are.'' he said ''Are we? Let me check...'' he took a look at his phone, I supposed it was the message they sent my dad.

''Yes, house #43, son, this is your new house.'' I looked at the house, oh my... it was so luxurious! I couldn't believe it!

''Hey, Axl?'' he called me.

I looked at dad ''What?''

''That is the neighbor's house, Axl.'' I looked at the house dad was looking at ''This is our house.''

I was surprised to see an even more luxurious house than the one I was looking at! The house was big and... well... what can I say? Luxurious, yeah, like every house, my prayers were answered!

''You like the new house, Axl?'' dad asked me.

I looked at the house once again ''Well, I gotta see how's the inside, but my opinion right now is just... amazing.''

Dad smiled and shut down the car, he opened his door and went out, I also did, it was very cold, but I didn't carry a coat or anything to keep me warm, so what can I say?

''Let's go inside before we freeze alive.'' said dad.

''Ok.'' I ran towards the door, dad ran, too.

He took out the keys and unlocked the door ''I hope the heater is on...'' he said and opened the door.

I took a step inside the house and gave dad some space to get in, once he did he shut the door, he was relieved to know that the heater was on after all, it was a very good thing.

''So, you like the house?'' he asked.

''Um... wait a minute...'' I looked back at the house because I was facing the front door.

The elegance, the luxury, the lights, the design, it was all amazing, there was so much space for everything! Not to mention that it was empty, but man... the design made me not notice that.

''Wow... this is much bigger that our old house!'' I said, looking at how elegant the house was.

''This is our house?'' I asked, I couldn't really believe it.

''Yes, son, it's ours, and all the money I spend from here on out will go towards you...'' he pointed at me ''... and me...'' he pointed at his chest.

''Nice...'' I tried not to think about mom, I knew she would love this house.

''Well, go take a look at the house, I'll go see how stuff works around the house.'' he walked upstairs ''Um... son?''

''Yes, dad?'' I asked.

''If you hear someone knocking, call me, it could be the truck with all our stuff.'' he said.

''Ok, dad, don't worry, I'll know.''

''Thanks, son.'' he went upstairs.

Well, we didn't have our stuff, but we did have the house, it was big, luxurious, elegant, decent, what else can I ask for? All I could do was just look at the house and poke around a bit, and also wait for our stuff.

*** *** ***

Minutes later, the truck came to the house and we took everything down to move it over and over again to see where it could go, I picked up the heavy stuff because my dad couldn't do it alone, and because my dad had a back problem, and well, I got tired.

I was relieved once I heard my dad's voice saying ''Ok, that's all.'', when I heard it I fell down on the couch, I had lifted too much, I even took down my drum set, parts of it, one-by-one, there are the parts all over my room not assembled, I guess I was too tired to even assemble it.

I had to deal with my dad once I said I was gonna go to sleep, he asked me if I was gonna eat, if I thought that it was a good idea, if I liked the house, if I put everything in my room; I answered honestly, and went to bed, good thing was: tomorrow wasn't any school, I could actually rest.

And well, my father has to look for a good school for me... new friends... new subjects to study, I hate that...

Bad thing was: I was alone, listening to music, not talking to anyone, just focusing on my studies because it was all I could do. I had nothing else, no friends, no love, nothing, just my Dad. Seems like... this is me now, starting over, right from the beginning. It felt sad.

I hated the way I got the news from the divorce, my Dad was angry and Mom was too, unfortunately, I had to see her crying later that day. I hugged her for a while, I cried with her too.

I didn't see Dad that day, he went out all day, didn't spend time with us. I talked to my brother about what we were going to do, I wanted to stay with Dad, but I didn't want to leave my brother behind, but I also didn't want Mom to be all alone. I talked to him about the choice we were about to make, we would separate, and maybe not see each other for years.

He chose Mom because he felt more socially open with her, I stayed with Dad because I always talked to him as if he was a friend of mine, as if I had met him on the street, we had trust with each other. We didn't discuss about our choices, we just went with it.

My life was falling apart, I didn't sleep for some nights, I tried to ease the pain with some sleeping pills (to sleep, not to suicide), and finally ,the day of the departure was today, I hugged Mom and my brother.

I still don't know the reason of the divorce, but I don't think I want to know anyways, I was already here, new house, I had to make new friends, stay in contact with my other friends, it was all new to me.

But sometimes, starting something once again may solve some problems, that's what I think at least. I hate fixing my problems, when I can just start from the very beginning, and this was a chance that I could get once in a lifetime, so I needed to start wisely.

Today, I'll have to start A New Life...