The learning curve

Two years later: August 24th, 2014

Gah, come on you little shit...

Ben inwardly screamed as the rifles sights didn't really align properly for the fourth time while trying to ignore the rounds of gunfire at the shooting blocks. He had been fiddling with the sights for at least 10 minutes, and it was taking up his shooting time. Everybody else had either got used to shooting a reasonably set up un-zeroed rifle or had the good luck to get an already well set up one. He however got a rifle that had obviously been last used by some sort of retard, and because of this he had to re-align the iron sights and was missing valuable time that he could be using to hit targets. So now he was here, trying to get the handle-sights  straightened out. He finished altering them in minute proportions and locked them in place. Picking himself up and heading towards a free block, he took up the sights for the fifth time. The ring on the handle-sights was lined up well enough with the trident recticle at the front of the weapon to fire accurately. This made him sigh in relief as he could now finally get a good shot on a target.

Focusing on the target, he realized why no-one was at this block. The circular target that had a multicoloured bulls-eye layout was sitting at a stupid 150 metres from the firing point. A distance that he had not yet even thought about firing at, he was only a Lance Corporal with two stars for gods-sake. Its not as is he had ever fired live rounds at this range before, no matter with a weapon that had sights aligned by him personally. He didn't even know if the sights were that well zeroed, all he knew was that they were better than before and before they were pretty wonky. So at least he could probably work with them this time.

He took another look at the target and sighed. Lowering the barrel, he looked back at his sergeant for clearance to fire and got a clear nod in return. So taking up his rifle again he leaned into the butt of the weapon a little and flicked the safety off. Lining the trident out in-front of him and steadying his hands. He never had the steadiest of grips and that was proving to be a liability now. His shaking hands were far from the tools of an artist or a surgeon, but that was just something he'd have to deal with. The world blurred around him and his eyes locked their focus on the target way ahead of him as he waited a bit to calm himself.

Letting his breath out slowly, he prepared for the recoil and squeezed the trigger. The rifle kicked into his shoulder and a lone .22 tore through the air, colliding with the outermost ring of the target and letting out an echoing metallic ping. After the sound was silenced, a collective 'ooh' was heard from the other cadets waiting with Sergeant Render and the Detachment staff. Ben flipped the safety back on and turned, bowing to his audience with a grin on his face. A small round of applause was given and somebody shouted in the background.

"Arsehole!" Shouted Watts from the center rank, earning a laugh from his friends. He turned back to them and muttered something in-audible. The sergeant turned to his parade and stamped in.

"Corporal Beal, fall in." His reply was swift. Leaning the weapon against the wall, he walked in and took appropriate position in the forward rank. Render nodded to him and stiffened up in preparation for addressing the cadets.

"PARADE, PARADE-SHUN!" Everyone stamped in and looked smart. Chinning up, staring forward and leaving their arms dangling nice and straight by their sides.

"Corporal Watts, take a lap round' the field." Render lined his shit-eating grin up with the thinnest member of the detachment and gestured him towards the gate that headed out into the field, beside the barracks.

" *Sigh* Sergeant." He replied and jogged off to the gate. When he went through and started running, the sergeant returned his attention to the 11 cadets that still stood in rank before him.

"Alright guys, FTX is over along with the day. Because this isn't our shooting range to pay for, we've gotta' leave it like we found it. Forward rank is going to perform a litter sweep, center rank is going to collect all the rifles and return them to the staff, and rear rank is-umm... rear rank is gonna' stay in line because i haven't got shit for them to do, got it?"

"Sergeant." The group droned in dis-harmony and continued their statue-like gaze. The sergeant nodded before turning to the staff to talk about something. Ben didn't know what however because something had already caught his eye. Something shiny was half buried underneath the dirt that covered the ground at the shooting range. He could see that the way it disturbed the ground around meant that it was probably a five pronged star-like shape. From what he could see of it, it appeared to be a pearl azure-black with a blue shine and stars white dots covering its surface. In his averted stare, he hadn't noticed Render end his conversation and return to the parade. So the sudden and gruff voice he made caught him of guard.

"Righty-ho!..." Ben jumped and caught his attention. "A bit jumpy today, are we?" Ben just chuckled and remained silent from then onward. " Okay cadets, now that's over we can all start. TO YOUR DUTIES, FALL OUT!"

After he was done stamping out, he joined the rest of the corporals in the front rank with the sweep. He positioned himself in the sweep so that he would be the one to come closest to the strange star he had located in the dirt. And once they were all lined up, they started.

The thing about litter sweeps is that you always go at the 'slowest man's pace'. Which meant that they usually covered 10 metres in about 30 seconds. This got to him, because there was practically nothing in-between him and the 'star' he was aiming to pick up, he had to just look down and gently sway his legs at a snails pace so that he didn't get ahead of the others.

As he came close to the object, he was surprised to find that the whitish dots twinkled like stars in the night. The object seemed to reflect a night-sky that wasn't there, kind of like the stars were contained underneath its surface. The world blurred around him once more, as he picked it up and noticed that it felt strangely ice cold, sending a shiver through his body. It was not a shiver from it's temperature, but more of a foreign shudder that tingled through his spine and into into his brain. like somebody had just reached into him, grabbed hold of his thoughts and crawled into his sub-conscious. He could feel the presence of something else inside his head, swirling around his brain, like the disturbing echo of a second mind planting its own foundations to root itself down.

It was a strange sensation, like his very being was becoming heavier with every second he held onto the rune that had just begun to sink into his hand. It dematerialised and its dust-like splinters blew away on an invisible wind, spiraling upwards into the evening sky. Then the icy feeling melted away into his thoughts and disappeared in the darkest shadows of his psyche.

His head came back to reality and he noticed that he had just been staring at his palm ever since he lost himself. He jerked his head up to the worried faces of the cadets that stared back at him. They traded blank expressions for a moment before he smiled at them and his arm darted down by his side.

"Umm, are you okay?" One of them asked him as he started walked over to join them.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Totally fine." His voice was un-usually shaky, breaking once or twice throughout the statement. Then the gate re-opened and a completely shattered Corporal Watts jogged in, shoulders sagging with his lack of energy. He came to a stop and noticed the group staring at Ben.

"Wha-what did- I miss?"

Ben waited in his chair for the sergeant to return to his office. After he had been seen staring at his hand for a while, everybody reported it to Render. After that, he had been requested to report to his office before he went back to his dorm'. Render had told him to wait in his seat until he returned because of something he had to take up with the rest of the cadets.

The door opened with a squeak and the sergeant re-entered. He sat himself down behind his desk and leaned forward to talk with him, obviously worried by something.

"Now then. I know about what happened to your father last week and from what the others have told me, you've been acting a little 'weirdly' since then. Now if there is something bothering you then don't be afraid to tell me because-"

"I'm fine." He interrupted Render's sentence, trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible so that he could get back to polishing his boots at the dorm'.

"Your not fine." Render re-introduced his point. "You can't be fine, a family member doesn't get hit by a truck, and their son is completely fine with it."

Ben gave him a frown and looked down at his feet under the desk. Render recoiled and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Don't be sorry. He probably deserved it anyways." His thoughts trailed back to his father getting so pissed that he would become abusive to his mum and anyone else who intervened. His dad would do this on a regular basis, sometimes every week. He'd lost count of how many times his mum had gotten injured from his dads blows.

They were both silent as they thought about their next moves, but Ben was the first to speak.

"Sergeant, i'm fine with dealing with it as it comes. I don't need any help at the moment, but if i want it, i'll ask"

Render nodded slowly and scratched his balding head. Ben stood up, pushing his chair out from underneath him.

"Permission to be excused." He droned, his deep voice filling the air.

"Granted." Render replied bluntly, allowing Ben to open the door and walk out. Once he had gone, he let his head fall into his hands. What was he going to do with this one?

With every footfall a flashback of the past flashed through his mind. Each time a buried memory floated back to the surface he began to question his very sanity even more. He had changed so much recently, he wasn't even sure that he was the same person he knew so well anymore.

He used to be deeper, a passionate amateur astronomer, a dedicated student and a protector of his friends. He used to perform his Martial arts with understanding and self-peace, but now it was a catalyst for him to take out his anger. He used to be laid back, he used to be calm. But now he was stubborn and trusted not even those he called his friends.

He remembered a quote from a song he liked; 'Steal a soul for a second chance, but you will never become a man.' To him this represented his situation now: His most twisted desires wanted to end the life of the 'man' he called his father. But he would never be able to let go of the pure hatred he held for him. Unable to forgive not only the man that ruined his life, but himself too for letting him. He hated him, he hated himself, he hated everything.

A feeling of cold slithered through his bones as the words seeped into his mind.

"End them..." It whispered into him, making a cracking echo throughout his body like a falling stone in the darkest caverns.

"End them all..." Its voice soothing his inner-pain, ice forming in his soul as it spoke. "Let go of your innocence. Take hold of your desires, make your dreams your reality..."

His mind fought this battle itself. One half of him wanted to obey these orders and let his anger and sorrow fill every cell of his brain. Another half of him pushed away the ice cold demon within, trying to reject the ideas of the newcomer. But those thoughts were being dragged down into the depths of the void, dissipating into nothingness.

"Let go..." It came again, cradling his tortured mind with its encouragement.

He could feel himself drifting towards the demon's arms, the thought of just forgetting about his humanity and becoming the very embodiment of the shadows lurking in the corners of his mind, to defy morals and rules. To become a monster. His blood flowed through him like the waters of the Arctic, freezing the plasma that filled his veins. It ran thick around his body as he stopped walking and closed his eyes, taking in the new feeling that filled his body as the voice make one last entrance.

"Embrace the night..."

...

"Erm, Ben? You ok?" A voice rang out in the silence, waking him up from his long slumber. It was a new voice to him, sounding concerned and touched with a hint of fright. He took a deep breath of the country air and pulled his face into a wide, toothy grin before formulating his reply.

"Yes subject, we are ok."