Audience?! What are You Doing in Equestria, Audience?!

Twilight Sparkle sighed as her chariot soared through the air. She mumbled and cursed under her breath while her faithful assistant Spike the Dragon read her a letter from her mentor, Princess Celestia. Spike cleared his throat.

"My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying, so I am sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year's location: Ponyville. And, I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends!" said Spike. Twilight simply sighed. She had no interest in such a frivolous task as making friends. Spike sensed Twilight's distress and attempted to cheer her up.

"Look on the bright side, Twilight. The Princess arranged for you to stay in a library! Doesn't that make you happy?" asked Spike. Twilight perked up immediately.

"Yes, yes it does. You know why? Because I'm right! I'll check on the preparations as fast as I can, then get to the library to find proof of Nightmare Moon's return!" said Twilight. Spike cocked his head.

"Then...when will you make friends like the Princess said?" asked Spike. Twilight laughed

"She said to check on preparations. I am her student, and I'll do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends." said Twilight as the chariot landed.

Tobuscus, Cryaotic, and Pewdiepie ran through the forest, stumbling many times in their new pony bodies. They eventually made it to a small town. Their eyes widened at the various types of ponies going about their business around them.

"Wow, look at all the different ponies!" said Cry. Pewds nodded.

"There are pegasi, unicorns, and normal ponies that are fucking useless." said Pewds.

"Hey!" Cry shouted. Pewds laughed. Tobuscus looked in a direction and gasped.

"Look! That one's coming right up to us!" said Tobuscus. A pink earth pony was bouncing in their direction. As she bounced closer, the three stallions got a better look at her. She had a cotton candy colored coat, a pink puffy mane, and teal eyes. She had a picture of three balloons on her flank. Pewdie nudged Tobuscus.

"They're not zoo animals! Introduce yourself as if she were a person. Like this." said Pewdie. He trotted up to meet the pink mare.

"Hello, my name is-" Pewds was interrupted when the mare jumped about five feet in the air and gasped.

"What the FUCK?!" Pewds stuttered as the mare zoomed off. Tobuscus laughed.

"That girl's crazy!" said the green stallion. Cry pointed to the distance.

"Look! It's the chariot!" said Cry. The three stallions rushed towards where Cry was pointing.

Twilight thanked the pegasi and trotted off.

"Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about. Come on Twilight, just try!" said Spike, pointing to an approaching pink mare. Twilight sighed. It couldn't hurt to say hi.

"Um...hello?" Twilight greeted the young mare awkwardly. The pink mare leapt into the air and let out an enormous gasp. She zoomed off while Spike and Twilight watched, dumbfounded. Twilight coughed awkwardly.

"Well, that was interesting all right." said Twilight. Spike sighed. He pointed at three laughing stallions that were approaching them.

"How about those guys? They seem normal." said Spike. Twilight sighed.

"Fine." said Twilight. Twilight and Spike trotted up to meet the stallions.

"Good afternoon, sirs." said Twilight. The white earth pony looked at her and chuckled.

"Did you just meet that pink mare? She gave us a similar greeting. My name's Cryaotic. You can call me Cry." said the friendly earth pony. Twilight sighed in relief. They were normal after all. Twilight shook his hoof.

"Well it was quite strange, wasn't it? It's a relief to come across ponies like you. You see, I'm new here. I wasn't planning to make friends but you guys seem ok." said Twilight Sparkle. Pewdiepie smiled.

"You're new? Cool! So are we! We literally just got here. My name is Pewdiepie!" said Pewdie. Twilight chuckled.

"That's funny, I just got here too! How uncanny!" Twilight giggled. Tobuscus bit his lip and walked up to the pretty lavender unicorn.

"Heh...wassup girl? You lookin' fine...I'm Tobuscus." said Tobuscus. Twilight blushed.

"Well it's nice meeting you all. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is my assistant, Spike." Twilight said, motioning to Spike. Spike waved to the stallions. Twilight turned back to her new friends.

"I was just about to check on preparations for the 1000th annual Summer Sun Celebration. Would you care to accompany me?" asked Twilight. Pewdie turned to his friends, then back to the unicorn.

"The Summer Sun Celebration?" asked Pewds. Twilight's eyes widened.

"You haven't heard of it?! You must not be from around here!" said Twilight. Cry shook his head.

"We're not, Miss Twilight. We're actually from really far away." said Cry. Twilight grinned.

"Oh, my! Well you need a tour more than anypony!" said Twilight, beginning to trot ahead. Pewdie cocked his head.

"Anypony? Pewdie muttered. Cry jabbed him in the ribs.

"Just go with it!" Cry hissed. The stallions trotted after Twilight, Tobuscus seeming more eager than the rest of them.

Spike cleared his throat.

"Summer Sun Celebration official overseer's checklist. Number one, banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres." said Spike. The four ponies and one dragon were standing on a large farm. Cry perked up.

"Banquet? As in food? Will there be beer?!" asked Cry. Twilight cocked her head.

"Beer? I've never heard of such a thing. Oh! Is it something native to your land?" asked Twilight. Cry nodded.

"Fascinating..." said Twilight. Suddenly, a wild mare appeared! She had an orange coat, a blonde mane, and grass green eyes. She had a picture of three apples on her flank. She wore a stetson and had cute freckles. Cry's eyes widened.

"Oh...my God." Cry muttered.

"Yeehaw!" shouted the orange earth pony. Cry walked up to the mare.

"H-Hello, miss. My name is Cryaotic, but please, call me Cry." said Cry. The mare laughed.

"Howdy there, Mr. Cry! Who are yer friends?" asked the southern mare.

"I'm Pewdiepie." said Pewdie.

"I'm Tobuscus." said Tobuscus. The mare tipped her hat to the stallions.

"Pleasure meetin' ya!" said the mare. Spike nudged Twilight and she sighed.

"Let's get this over with... Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle--" the mare immediately seized Twilight's hoof and shook it like a rag doll.

"Well, howdy-doo, Miss Twilight, a pleasure makin' yer acquaintance. I'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!" said Applejack. Cry smiled.

"Yay! Friends are good!" said Cry. Twilight winced.

"Friends? Actually, I--" Twilight's hoof was still shaking even after Applejack let go.

"So what can I do ya for?" asked Applejack. Spike snickered. Twilight cleared her throat.

"Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you're in charge of the food?" asked Twilight. Applejack nodded.

"We sure as sugar are! Would ya care to sample some?" asked Applejack.

"YES!!!!" shouted all three starving stallions in unison. Twilight shifted.

"As long as it doesn't take too long..." said Twilight weakly. Applejack rang a triangle and shouted at the top of her lungs.

"SOUP'S ON, EVERYPONY!" Applejack yelled. There was a stampede of an entire herd of ponies of different sizes and colors. Pewdie laughed.

"Sweet Jesus, look at all of them!" said Pewds in astonishment.

"Now why don't Ah introduce y'all to the Apple family?" asked Applejack. Tobuscus's eyes widened.

"They're all you're FAMILY?!" asked the green unicorn in disbelief. Twilight backed away.

"Thanks, but I really need to hurry--" Twilight was interrupted once again. Applejack pointed to all the different ponies as she talked.

"This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon crisp..." Applejack took a deep breath, "Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith." Granny Smith was sound asleep in a rocking chair. Applejack tried to gently wake her up.

"Up'n'attem Granny Smith, we got guests." said Applejack, Cryaotic, Pewdiepie, and Tobuscus stared in amazement at the size of the Apple family.

"Holy SHIT that's a lot of ponies." said Pewds. Twilight was unable to speak as she was busy chewing an apple a member of the family had shoved in her mouth. Granny Smith woke up with a snort.

"Wha...? Soup's on? Ah'm up, here Ah come, Ah'm comin'..." said Granny as she trudged towards the rest of the family. Applejack laughed.

"Why, Ah'd say yer already part of the family!" said Applejack.

"Yay!" said Cry. Twilight spat out the apple in shock and laughed nervously.

"Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way." said Twilight. Apple Bloom, the cute red headed filly with a large pink bow pouted.

"Aren't ya gonna stay for brunch?" asked Apple Bloom. Tobuscus clamped his hooves over his heart.

"Hhnggh..." he choked out. Twilight cringed.

"Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do..." said Twilight. The entire Apple family, including Cry, Tobuscus, and Pewds sighed with disappointment. Twilight silently cursed herself.

"...Fine." said Twilight.

"Yay!" said Cry. The entire family cheered.

Twilight, Pewdie, Tobuscus, Cry, and Spike continued their quest with full stomachs. Twilight's stomach was a bit too full for her liking. Spike continued to read the checklist.

"Food's all taken care of, next is weather." said Spike. Twilight felt full to bursting.

"Ugh...I ate too much pie..." Twilight groaned. Tobuscus looked up at the sky.

"Is the weather scheduled to be overcast?" asked Tobuscus. Spike stroked his chin.

"Hmm, there's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." said Spike. Twilight smirked.

"Well, she's not doing a very good job, is she?" said Twilight.

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" shouted a voice. The stallions and Spike leapt out of the way as a rainbow blur knocked the unsuspecting Twilight into a mud puddle.

"Nng..." muttered Twilight. The multicolored mare laughed nervously.

"Uh, 'scuse me?" said the pegasus sheepishly. Twilight didn't say a word.

"Nnnn." muttered Twilight. The mare laughed.

"Lemme help you." said the pegasus mare. She pulled a cloud over Twilight and began bouncing on it, making the cloud rain.

"So who are you guys?" asked the mare as she bounced. Pewdiepie stepped forward.

"I'm Pewdiepie. The unicorn's Tobuscus and the earth pony's Cry." said Pewdie. The mare nodded.

"Cool names." the pegasus realized that she hadn't been paying attention and got Twilight soaked. She laughed sheepishly.

"Oops, I guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how about this? My very own patented Rain-Blow Dry!" Rainbow Dash flew circles around Twilight, engulfing her in a rainbow tornado. The stallions and Spike watched in amazement.

"Can all pegasi do that?" Pewdie asked Spike. The little dragon shrugged.

"First time I've seen something like that." said Spike. The mare completed her task and flaunted proudly.

"No, no. Don't thank me. You're quite welcome." said the mare. Twilight was not amused. The sudden rush of air had caused her mane to become all messy and puffy. The mare at fault burstout laughing. Spike joined her laughter and even the guys doubled over with laughter. Pewdie gasped for air.

"T-Twilight...look at what that bitch did to your mane! Look at it! HAHAHAHA!" Pewds laughed. Twilight's expression was deadpan.

"Let me guess. You're Rainbow Dash." said Twilight. Rainbow Dash nodded.

"The one and only. Why, you heard of me?" asked Rainbow Dash. Twilight glared at Rainbow.

"I heard you were supposed to be keeping the sky clear. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the Princess sent me to check on the weather." said Twilight. Tobuscus tutted.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, missy." said Tobuscus. Cry nodded.

"I must agree. The skies aren't sunny at all. What will the princess think?" asked Cry.

"YEAH YOU FUCKER!" shouted Pewds. Cry started to laugh and Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, that'll be a snap. I'll do it in a jiffy. Just as soon as I'm done practicing." said Dash. The stallions and Twilight exchanged confused looks.

"Practicing for what?" asked Twilight. Rainbow Dash struck a pose.

"The Wonderbolts! They're gonna preform at the celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff!" said Dash. Pewds saluted.

"That sounds like some legit shit, bro." said Pewdiepie. Dash saluted back and nodded.

"It is." said Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle was not convinced.

"The Wonderbolts?" asked Twilight.

"Yep!" said Dash.

"The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?" asked Twilight.

"That's them!" said Dash. Twilight snickered.

"Pfft! Please. They'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day." said Twilight. Cry gasped. Tobuscus laughed.

"OOH! BURN!" said Tobuscus. Pewds whooped.

"YOU JUST GOT SERVED MOTHER FUCKA!!!!" shouted Pewdiepie. Twilight grinned with satisfaction.

"Thank you." said Twilight. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes.

"Hey! I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat." said Rainbow Dash. Twilight smiled.

"Prove it."

"OOOOOH WATCHA GONNA DO BITCH?! WATCHA GONNA DO?!" shouted Pewdiepie. Rainbow Dash flew into the air, kicking all the clouds in, well, ten seconds flat. She flew back down and relished in the shocked expressions of everypony. Rainbow Dash panted.

"Loop the loop around, and wham! What'd I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat. I'd never leave Ponyville hanging!" said Dash. Twilight's jaw dropped. Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"You should see the look on your face. Ha! You're a laugh, Twilight Sparkle. I can't wait to hang out some more." said Rainbow Dash. Spike's eyes glittered in admiration.

"Wow, she's amazing!" said Spike. Once he saw Twilight's mane he burst out laughing.

"Rrgh." Twilight growled. Spike laughed.

"Wait! It's kinda pretty once you get used to it!" said Spike. Tobuscus nodded.

"Yeah gurl, a puffy mane turns me on! Mmm!" said Tobuscus. Twilight glared at him.

"Shut up, Tobuscus." said Twilight.

"Ok"

As the ponies and dragon entered a boutique Spike referred back to his checklists.

"Decorations. Beautiful..." said Spike. Twilight nodded as she looked at the decor.

"Yes, the decor is coming along nicely. This ought'a be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed." said Twilight. Spike shook his head.

"Not the decor, her!" Spike said, pointing to a pure white unicorn with a royal purple mane, sapphire blue eyes, and a picture of three blue diamonds on her flank. She was examining ribbons and deciding which ones to use.

"No, no, no, oh! Goodness no." said the unicorn. Spike ran a claw through his spikes.

"How are my spines? Are they straight?" asked Spike. Pewdiepie shook his head.

"Spike, no. You can do better. She looks like a slut." said Pewds. Cry punched him.

"She is not a slut!" said Cry. Pewds shook his head.

"No, no! Come on, let's introduce ourselves, I guarantee she's gonna slut it up!" said Pewdie.

"Pewds..." Cry mumbled.

"SLUT IT UP, SLUT IT UP!!!" Pewdie shouted. Cry punched him.

"Fine, fine, just shut the fuck up!" said Cry. Tobuscus walked up to the "slutty" unicorn and cleared his throat.

"Um...hello. I'm Tobuscus and this is Pewdiepie and Cry." said Tobuscus. They got no response. Pewdie shivered.

"Suuuuuuuuch a fucking slut!" whispered Pewds. Cry couldn't help but laugh. Twilight rolled her eyes and tried to introduce herself to the busy mare.

"Good afternoon--" Twilight was interrupted.

"Just a moment, please! I'm 'in the zone' as it were. Oh yes! Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why Rarity, you are a talent. Now, um, how can I help yo--eek! Oh my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your coiffure?!" Rarity yelped. Twilight blushed.

"Oh, you mean my mane? Well it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations, and then I'll be out of your hair!" said Twilight. Rarity simply stared at Twilight.

"Out of my hair? What about your hair?!" said Rarity. She grabbed Twilight and began to drag her to the back of the boutique.

"Wait! Where are we going?! Help!" shouted Twilight. Spike was about to run after her, but Pewdiepie held him back.

"Spike, don't be fooled. That accent is fake." said Pewds. Rarity was trying an assortment of dresses on Twilight Sparkle, who would prefer NOT to be used as a mannequin.

"No, no, uh-uh. Too green. Too yellow. Too poofy. Not poofy enough. Too frilly. Too...shiny. Now go on, my dear. You were telling me where you're from." said Rarity, now attempting to put Twilight in a corset. Twilight winced.

"I've...been sent...from Canterlot...to--" Rarity interrupted her.

"Huh? Canterlot?! Oh, I am so envious! The glamor, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there! I can't wait to hear all about it! We are gonna be the best of friends, you and I..." said Rarity. Pewdie pretended to clear his throat.

"ehem, slut! ehem..." Pewds coughed. Rarity continued in her quest to make Twilight Sparkle fabulous.

"Emeralds?! What was I thinking? Let me get you some rubies!" said Rarity. Twilight started running for the exit.

"Quick! Before she decides to dye my coat a new color!" said Twilight. The stallions and Spike followed her. Pewds paused and looked behind him.

"SLUT!"

Spike let out a dreamy sigh.

"Wasn't she wonderful?" asked Spike. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Focus, Casanova. What's next on the list?" asked Twilight. Spike cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh, music! It's the last one!" said Spike. Pewdie's eyes widened. He could see a yellow pegasus mare conducting an orchestra of birds.

"Now she's legit..." said Pewds. The mare winced and directed her attention to a blue jay who was singing off key.

"Oh my. Um, stop please, everyone, umm. Excuse me, sir? I mean, no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off. Now, follow me, please. A-one, a-two, a-one two three-"

"HELLO!" Twilight greeted the mare. The pegasus mare yelped and her birds all flew away. Pewdie glared at Twilight.

"Now look what you've done, bitch!" Pewds shouted. Twilight cringed.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten your birds. I'm just here to check up on the music and it's sounding beautiful. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and these are my, um, friends, Cry, Pewdiepie, and Tobuscus. What's your name?"  asked Twilight. The shy mare cowered, hiding behind her silky pink mane.

"Um...I'm Fluttershy." said the mare quietly. Twilight, Spike and the stallions cocked their heads. Twilight leaned closer to Fluttershy.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Twilight. Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably.

"Um...my name is Fluttershy." said Fluttershy, even quieter.

"Didn't quite catch that." said Twilight. Fluttershy's response was an inaudible squeak. Cry nudged Pewdiepie.

"She's adorable." said Cry. Tobuscus once again clutched his heart.

"Hhhng!!" Tobuscus choked. The birds flew back to their original places. Twilight backed away.

"Well, um, it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order. Keep up the good work!" said Twilight. Fluttershy responded with another tiny, adorable squeak. Twilight turned to Spike.

"Oookay. Well that was easy." said Twilight. Upon seeing the baby dragon, Fluttershy gasped and rushed towards Spike, knocking over Tobuscus.

"Woah, woah. Girl. Calm down..." said Tobuscus as he shakily rose to his hooves. Fluttershy ignored him, looking at Spike.

"A baby dragon! Oh, I've never seen a baby dragon before. He's sooo cute!" said Fluttershy. Spike chuckled, clearly fillled with pride.

"Well, well, well...!" said Spike. Fluttershy gasped again.

"Oh my, he talks. I didn't know dragons could talk. That's so incredibly wonderful I, I just don't even know what to say!" said Fluttershy. Pewds frowned. Why couldn't she being paying this much attention to him?

"Well, in that case we'd better get going." said Twilight, eager to get to the library.

"Wait, wait! What's his name?" asked Fluttershy.

"I'm Spike." said Spike. Fluttershy giggled, ecstatic to be having a conversation with a dragon.

"Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy. Wow, a talking dragon! And what do dragons talk about?" asked Fluttershy. Spike shrugged.

"Well, what do you wanna know?" asked Spike. Fluttershy leaned in closer.

"Absolutely everything." said Fluttershy. Twilight and the stallions groaned, and began to walk towards the library while Spike told his life story.

"Well...I started out as a cute little green and purple egg..."