The awkward moment when you're suddenly a pony
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The awkward moment when you're suddenly a pony
I sat up in the hospital bed and rubbed my eyes and asked, “Twilight, how do you rub your eyes with hooves?”
“How do you know my name?” she replied shocked.
“Simple, I'm from a world where there is a TV show called My Little Pony that follows,” I looked at her, “events in your future and since this is a Human in Equestria story my author decide that I should be a Brony and again because this is a HiE story I was bound to meet up with a member of the Mane 6, you're my author's favourite member so I was guaranteed to meet you.”
“I don't understand.” muttered Twilight still stunned.
“Don't worry about it, I just break the fourth wall.” I shrugged.
Looking over myself and I facehoof. I am a little purple unciorn with a deep red mane and unusual for a HiE story, I had a cutie mark of diamond fragments sparkling. There was a tattoo of a blue lightening bolt of my right fore hoof. My akruba with a black bandanna tied round it and backpack were on the bedside table and it was a backpack not saddlebag.
Celestria decided to enter at that point, “How are you, my little ponies?”
“Good, Princess.” answered Twilight.
“Well, Sun-butt, my body is fighting off the change, which is turning me into a pony-human hybrid, I have somehow obtained knowledge of mind control despite my desire for freedom for everyone. Oh, and readers I am designed to as Mary Sue character, but the complete lack of fear is a genuine trait my author has.” I answer carelessly.
“What did you call me?” pressed Celestria standing over me.
“Hey, author, this is written from my perspective.”
“What did you call me?” pressed Celestria Sun-butt standing over me.
“I called you Sun-butt, then got the author to write you as Sun-butt when ever you're talked about outside of dialogue.” I countered jabbing my horn into Sun-butt's neck.
She pulled back, glared at me, turned and spoke over her shoulder, “Twilight, would please teach our friend here magic.”
“My author decided that my name is Diamond Dust.” I yell at the back of Sun-butt's head.
“I guess you're staying at my place.” said Twilight.
“It's secluded for clears skies until the Summer Sun Celebration, at which point I get a house and make a living. Until then I'll spend the nights learning certain skills I'll need because I'm a pony-human hybrid and I don't need sleep so I'll be fine.” I assured who appeared to dislike the arrangement.
I walked down a dark alley somewhere in Cantorlot.
“We should have stayed with her you know.” said a deep voice in my head.
Yeah, we could have had a sex scene this early in the story.” agreed a high pitch voice. “Why were ignoring us until now?”
“If we had stayed with her we would not have been able spend Sun-butt's money on a katana, a pair of guns and enough explosives to level Manehattan.” I answer producing a huge bag of bits, “And if I talked to you while Sun-butt was present, she might realise that our author idealises Deadpool and that his Mary Sue character would be similar to Deadpool.”
“That would mean we would get lots of fight scenes.” argued the high pitch voice.
“But no sex scenes.” I countered.
“Before you two continue this argument you might need to know that we have been walking on our hind legs since we teleported from the hospital, right in front of Twilight.” confronted the deep voice.
I dropped onto all fours and walked up to a sword merchant and pointed at a katana on the shelf, “How much for that?”
“Eighty bits.” replied the merchant.
I hoofed over the bits and walked off.
“Isn't is convenient that Cantorlot has such a large black market.” said the high pitch voice.
“It's our author manipulating the world for the story.” replied the deep voice as I attach the last grenade to my holsters and pack away the last of the explosives.
“Why do we need so many explosives for a slice of life story?”
“Does that need an answer?”
“Now that we've got the gear lets get some training.” I state walking away from the black market.
“Don't we need a second katana?” questioned the high voice.
“Didn't you read the script? We get the second katana in a few chapters with the help of Daring Do.” replied the deep voice.
I walked off shaking my head.
Every human that enters Equestria has trouble adapting, I found I had very different adaption problem. First problem, my author is a dick. Second problem, my hind legs are strong enough and have the bone structure for bipedal walking meaning I walking upright without thinking. Third problem, my magic.
“Diamond Dust, how much effort did are you putting in?” screamed Twilight.
“I didn't even try.” I yelled back over the sound of tap dancing elephants.
“Without trying to conjured a loud illusion?” questioned Twilight dispelling the elephants.
Turning back to me, she continued, “Most ponies have trouble with levitation, but you cast an illusion instead.”
Over the rest of the lesion, despite being a Mary Sue character, we discovered I only have the potential for mind control, reading, illusions and teleports.
Afterwards we parted ways, Twilight leaving to read a new book as I set out for more training. While walking down a street, my tail began twitching.
“If we were Pinkie Pie that would mean that something is about to fall.” stated the high voice.
My instincts kicked in and I dived to side as Sun-butt landed.
“Did you think I didn't notice you taking my money?” pressed Sun-butt standing over me.
“If you had I wouldn't have been able to spend it.” I reproached .
“In thirty three seconds you're going to get a note from twilight.” I continued as I started to walk around her.
“Foresight require years of training, I know you cannot foresee...” Sun-butt paused as a note magical appeared. She teleported us to the palace and what she said next shocked me.