Chapters A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
On the outskirts of Ponyville, in a little cottage surrounded by animals of all kinds of shapes, sizes & species, the sound of loud snoring resonating from inside. The source was coming from underneath a blanket with a goat's leg, a long, red draconic tail and a lion's paw hanging from underneath as a large lump laid on the bed, a smaller one next to it. Moments later, a loud yawn was heard as the lump stood and stretched out it's extremely abnormal body.
It had an oddly long neck to go with the rest of it's overly tall figure, a dragon's right leg and a goat's left, a lion's paw as a right arm and a chicken leg in the form of a left arm, a deer antler, a horn from an unknown creature, and two small wings on it's back.
The creature spun around as it's body wound up and made a few cracking noises. It stopped as he began to lose his grip and began to spin out of control. As the haphazard creature stopped, it groaned as it's eyes began to spin. The creature groaned again as it slammed it's hands against the sides of it's head, stopping it's eyes, which were rather oddly colored.
Where any other being's eyes would be white or bloodshot at least, his were a mustard yellow, and the irises were a crimson red. And the last noticeable oddity about it was that there was a large, sharp fang protruding from it's upper lip.
He sighed and looked out the window of his new home and the first day of his new life in Ponyville, for he was the King of Chaos, a Master of Mayhem, the Emperor of Insanity...
And a total idiot.
"Hey!" the being whisper-shouted at the narrator in a little annoyance, "This is a story about how awesome I am!"
Whatever you say Dis, whatever you say.
"Oh just do your job and narrate!"
Whatever, anyway , Discord walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead, but not before he walked towards the opposite side of the bed, gently nudging the smaller lump.
"Oh Fluttershy~. Wakey-wakey~!" he sang as he waited for a reaction from the other being.
The sound of a tiny yawn came from the lump as a small, pale yellow Pegasus with long pink hair came from underneath the large blanket, her large, sparkling eyes were a bright cerulean blue. She looked up at Discord and smiled softly, "Oh, good morning Discord. How did you sleep?"
The draconiques smiled at her and shrugged, "It was much better than being trapped in stone for over a millennia, that's for sure."
She giggled and nodded, "Well, I better go feed Angel and the others." she said as she hopped out of bed and trotted out the door of the bedroom.
Discord sighed and smiled as he walked into the bathroom and turned on the water, waiting patiently as it slowly warmed up. He sighed and snapped his fingers as boiling hot water shot from the shower head. He smiled at this and stepped in as the water pelted him like millions of little bullets.
Horses you bonehead...
"That's rig-- Hey!"
He shouted once again at the disembodied voice, making him look ridiculous, if not flat-out crazy.
"Oh shut it."
As he finished his shower, Discord walked out with a bath towel around his body and another wrapped around his head. He dried himself off and walked downstairs into the miniature petting zoo known as Fluttershy's living room. He sat down in his chair as he snapped his fingers and a book appeared in his hand. He opened it and seemed to read through it until he ripped out a page and ate it.
Fluttershy trotted back into the room and saw him doing this, taking the book from him. "Discord, what do you think you're doing?" she said with a stern tone of voice as the draconiques looked at her.
"Uh... Having a 'before breakfast' snack?" he said with a little smile.
Fluttershy sighed and looked at the book, opening her eyes wide, "Wait... This is just a blank book. Where in Equestria did you get this?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. I just conjure up stuff and it appears. I don't have some sort of tracking device to pinpoint and take exactly what I want." he explained.
"Oh... Well still, no eating before breakfast. You can have this back after." she said as she placed it next to her on the counter as she sang and started making their breakfast.
Discord groaned and crossed his arms defiantly, leaning back in his chair like a spoiled brat having a tantrum. "Oh shut up you stupid voice in my head!"
Oh please, you need me. I wrote this story and I can make anything happen. Watch this. Ahem, Discord then stood up and did the chicken dance.
"Wait, what?" he then shot up and put his arms in position, flapping them like wings as he clapped and everything else. "Okay, okay! Stop it already!"
Hahaha! Fine, I had my fun. Discord sat back down in his chair and leaned back.
"Ugh... Never... Make me... Do that... Ever again..." he groaned and let his body melt into the chair.
As he caught his breath, Fluttershy came back with two plates of pancakes on her back as she spoke, "Excuse me, Discord? Could you please help me?"
Discord sighed and stood up, floating over and taking the plates off her back, placing them on the table. He then pulled Fluttershy's chair out and placed her in it softly as he pushed it in. He hovered over to the opposite side as he pulled out his chair and sat down across from Fluttershy as they began to eat.
Fluttershy looked up to her mixed up counter part who seemed to pull a newspaper from thin air and spoke hesitantly, "Um... Discord, I'm going to be busy all day today, so I won't have much time to play with you... Okay?" she asked worriedly.
"Hmm? Oh, okay, not a problem my dear Fluttershy. I shall surely find something to do today that shall not bother you." he said with a smile as he continued to eat.
When they both finished their stacks, he washed and re-stacked the dishes into a nearby cupboard and closed it. With that, Fluttershy went off to start her day with the animals and such. Discord looked outside and smiled, "Well... I'm sure one of the other ponies around here would love to play a quick game with me! I just have to find out who." he smiled big and hovered through the door, setting off to find someone to play with.
And for him, it meant to bother the living hell out of somepony... Poor souls...
"Shut up!"
Author's Note
This is my first time trying to write anything regarding Discord, and I hope you all enjoy it.
A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
Discord wandered around Ponyville with an ongoing boredom and looked around, some ponies turning tail and running at the sight of him, others simply ducking down and covering their faces with their hooves as if to make a pathetic attempt to hide from him.
He groaned and sighed, "Well this is no fun... Hmm... Well, I could always make trouble for them all again." he chuckled and then stopped, "Oh... But I promised Fluttershy no havoc..." he groaned and crossed his arms, "Who can I possibly--" he stopped as he saw Twilight's library and smiled, "Oh... This could work." he said with a smile.
He walked over to the library and phased through the door, "Hello? Is anypony here?"
Dumb question.
"Oh shut up!"
He shouts at the disembodied voice only he can hear, making him look even more insane than he obviously is.
"... I hate you..."
I know.
Alerted to the random yelling, Twilight walked over but was surprised to see Discord seemingly talking to himself. She walked over normally, but cautiously. " Discord? What are you doing here?" she said in a cautious and slightly confused tone.
"I'm here because Fluttershy is busy right now and I have nothing to do. I figured I'd help you out." he said with an innocent tone with a little halo appearing over his head.
She looked up at him cautiously then looked over to Spike who crossed his arms and shook his head. She then looked back at Discord who fluttered his eyelashes with an innocent look on his face. She sighed and nodded, "Alright Discord, you can help. Go ahead and help Spike organize the books over there. If you do anything even remotely destructive, you're leaving, got it?" she said sternly.
"Me? Destructive? Why, I am reformed, if you remember correctly." he said in an insulted tone. He walked over and started organizing the books alphabetically.
Twilight rolled her eyes and walked away, getting back to practicing spells and such.
The moment she was out of sight and smirked and bent down to Spike, "Watch this." he whispered. He snapped his fingers and the books flew from the shelves and started flapping like birds as he laughed and watched them fly around.
Spike watched in awe for a little while but then started chasing them around, leaping up and snatching them out of the air in distress of Twilight seeing. He started putting in the books in their alphabetical orders and then saw one book flying towards Twilight and he shouted, "Twilight, duck!" Spike shouted in distress.
Twilight turned and screamed, ducking quickly behind her bed as the book flew through the window and flew away. Twilight groaned and ran downstairs, "Discord!" she shouted angrily at the chaotic being.
Someone's in trouble~!
"Shut up!" he whispered and then looked down at the angry alicorn, "Yes Twilight?"
"What did I say about you doing something chaotic!" she shouted at him.
"Now, in my defense you didn't say chaotic, you said destructive."
... You're an idiot...
Twilight pointed at the door, "Get. Out. Now." she said in annoyance.
Discord sighed and walked towards the entrance with his head hung low, "Very well... I simply wanted to make work easier for you and Spike... I suppose I'm just not as good of a friend as I thought..." he said in a saddened tone as he went for the door.
Twilight continued her glare, "I was fooled once by that Discord, its not happening again." she said firmly.
Discord snapped his fingers, "Darn, thought it'd work." he said before shrugging and walking out of the tree.
"Well, time to find someone else to play with."
You mean annoy to the point of throwing you out of their house?
"Yep." he said with a chuckle.
Author's Note
Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter is so short. I'll make sure the next one will be longer than this.
A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
Fashionista Catastrophista
Walking away from Twilight's tree and through the town, Discord sighed in boredom as he walked past multiple ponies and ripped the pages out of a book he'd taken from Twilight, "She has no sense of gratitude! I did a good thing trying to fix up her boring little tree and what does she do? She yells at me to go away! The nerve!" He ranted as he kept wandering.
Oh yes, the nerve of the princess whose home you turned into a sanctuary for living books.
"Shut it, I'm not listening to you."
He said to no one in particular, showing that his insanity didn't only affect others.
"Would you be quie--" he stopped when he ran into the Carousel Boutique, looking up at it and blinking, "Hmm... Perhaps a bit of fashion sense could brighten up my day, hmm?"
... You've got to be kidding...
"No, I'm Discord. Honestly, for a narrator you really need to work on your names."
... I'd say that you're pulling my leg, but for two obvious reasons, I won't.
"Are one of the reasons because you haven't legs to be pulled, genius?" Discord said in a snarky tone of voice.
Be glad I don't. Because if I did, I'd be brutally kicking your a--
"Why hello Rarity~!" Discord called out in a sing-song tone, making Rarity jump in shock and groan.
"Discord, what in Equestria are you doing here? Shouldn't you be helping Fluttershy with something? Perhaps doing, say, anything else besides being here?" She said as she went back to the dress she was making.
"I was only coming by to ask if you'd care for some help. You must have your hooves full with all the dresses and suits that ponies are--"
Not.
"Ordering! I couldn't with good conscious allow my favorite tailor and fashionably adept friend to do such difficult work all on her own! So please allow me to assist you in any way I can." Discord said fluttering his eyelashes as if to show her his innocence in the matter.
Rarity sighed, "Very well Discord. If you so badly wish to help me, then go ahead and fetch me that spool of thread." She said pointing at a spool of silver thread.
"Spool of thread, coming up!" He said as he picked it up and poofed next to her, placing it down and poofing back to his spot.
Rarity blinked, surprised that he hadn't replaced it with something awful. She shrugged and continued working, sewing the sleek, sparkling thread into the dress's seams.
"Oh, such a lovely dress my dear Rarity. It's very, as the kids say now days, 'On fleek'." He gushed with a big smile.
"Oh, why... Thank you, Discord... I think." She said confusedly as she continued working.
What in Equestria does that even mean?
"I have no idea, it's just some stupid word I heard some colts shouting at one another for no reason."
"Discord, whom are you talking to?" Rarity asked in confusion and minor worry, not for discord, but for herself.
"Hmm? Oh, no one Rarity, no one at all! Is there anything else you may need?"
"Um... Okay then... Yes, I need that golden broach on the counter over there." She said pointing out a beautiful golden broach in the shape of a rose.
Discord nodded and walked over, picking it up and swallowing it, "Whoopsies~" he said with a smirk as he spit it back up as a glob of gold as he began remolding and remodeling the broach to a shape he desired, which he then placed on the counter, "Here you are." He said with a smile.
"Why thank you Di-- What the?!" She screamed when she saw it. it was a broach, no longer shaped like a golden rose, but in the shape of Discord's face, a big smile on his face. "What did you do to my one of a kind, solid gold rose broach?!"
"What's wrong with it? I believe it looks even more superb than that dreadful thing you were going to use!"
... Is it your goal to see how many ponies you can annoy today or are you truly just that bored?
"You're the creator of this story, if anyone is to blame, it's you." he said in a snarky tone.
... I hate you, but you're right. Although, Rarity is the most annoying of the 6, wouldn't you agree?
"Oh absolutely, she's dreadful." Discord said with a shrug.
"You mental case, who are you talking too?!" she shouted in annoyance, "Turn this thing back to normal, right now!" Rarity shouted angrily, holding up the broach to him.
"Now why would I do that? It's such a beautiful piece of art, it'd be a 'crime against fashion' as you would say" He said with an uppity tone fo voice, taking a pose like he was reciting a Shakespearean play.
Rarity growled, "Turn it back to normal, now!" Rarity shouted, her high pitched scream almost glass-shattering as Discord covered his ears in pain, unable to take the loudness of her voice.
"Alright, alright, jeez!" He snatched it away and fixed it up, making it into the shape of Fluttershy, "... Well that's not quite right, is it..." He said, sincerely confused as well.
How in Equestria did you do that? I wrote the shape of a blob!
"I... I don't know, I was going to and then... This happened..." he said looking at it in surprise. He then sighed softly and dropped the broach, "Take your stupid accessory... I'm going to go bother someone else..." He said disappearing from sight.
"What was that all about..." She picked up the broach, "... That's rather odd..." She said looking out the open door.
A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
Author's Note
I'm sorry if this chapter was short, I've been dealing with end of the school-year crap. I'll try and fix it when I have time if it needs it but until then, keep your eyes on the skies!
~CloudCrusher, Signing Off!~
Cutie Mark Chaos
Discord wandered aimlessly through the streets of Ponyville, kicking a rock which when he kicked it turned into an egg, and then a can, and then Angel Bunny, which regardless he still kicked turning it back into a rock.
'Huh. What's got you so down in the dumps Long face Larry?'
"Be quiet... I don't feel like talking about it." Discord sighed as he kept walking.
Well technically, you're talking about it right now, but that's okay. I already know. I said with a snarky tone.
"Well if you know already than why are you asking? And stop narrating yourself, that's just tacky!" Discord groaned in annoyance.
So that this would happen. Look at the title.
Discord blinked and looked up through the a small portal, "... Oh no..." Discord said in fear and annoyance, his eyes wide as he searched around in terror.
Oh yes my friend. Have fun with this one.
"You sonuva--"
Kids show, can't curse here.
Discord growled and disappeared, hiding in a tree, "There's no way they'll find me here. This spot is foolproof."
Foolproof, yes. Writer proof...
Discord's mustard yellow eyes widened in realization, "Oh no..."
"Discord?" Applebloom said looking up at the Draqonicus, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle by her sides, "What're ya'll doin' up in a tree?"
"I hate you..." Discord growled with a grimace.
I know.
"And... Who're you talking to? There's no one else here." Scootaloo said standing on her scooter with the other two standing by her side, their cutie marks in plain sight.
"Oh, nothing to trouble your bothersome-- I-I mean pretty little heads about girls. So was there something you needed from me girls?" He said trying his best to fake a happy, enthusiastic tone so they'd no longer question him.
"We were just wonderin' if ya'll ever have regrets about your choices in life or for what you're meant to do. Ya' know, if you ever think about what your cutie mark actually means." Applebloom said quickly smiling at him excitedly, the other two doing the same.
"Uh... I can't exactly regret something I don't--"
"Of course he does! He's the lord of chaos and destruction. He's a total monster!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed with a sad expression and matching tone.
"Girls, as I said, I don't have a--"
"Don't worry Discord, we'll help you learn your true purpose and we'll show you how useful you truly are!" Scootaloo said as the three girls began lading him away. He bit the ground as they somehow began dragging him away.
"Help... Me..." Discord whispred hopelessly.
See ya later Discord, I'm gonna go get a sandwich.
"You sick... sadistic... Motherfu--"
"Who're you talking to Discord?" Scootaloo said confusedly looking back at him.
"O-Oh nothing! Let's go... Find my purpose..." he grimaced as he spoke.
Not too long after, DIscord and the Cutie Mark Crusaders stood inside the Crusaders' treehouse in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres' large fields. discord, Sweetie and Scootaloo sat in the middle of the room, Applebloom walking up onto the little stage and behind the small podium atop it. Discord grumbled as he sat there with a dark grimace on his face as the candy apple-haired filly smacked the gavel on it's platform and smiled, "Hear ye, hear ye! This cutie mark meetin' ta' help Discord find the true purpose of his cutie mark is now in session!" she proclaimed happily.
The two cheered happily while Discord simply sat there in annoyance and boredom, a yawn escaping his lips before Sweetie elbowed him in the stomach, making him groan before perking up, "Oh goodie! I just simply cannot wait!" He said before slumping over once again, aggrivated by his current situation.
"Glad ta' hear it! Alright, so whattya usually do fer' fun Discord? Or well, I guess fer' a job?" Applebloom said curiously.
"Well, I usually spend my day taking care of the animals with Fluttershy and then I have a delightful little tea time with Fluttershy and then we'll spend a few hours playing games with her friends and--"
"Uh... Discord, what do you do when Fluttershy isn't around?" Scootaloo said with a confused look.
Talk to little fillies and mess with their siblings. The sound of chewing could be heard in Discord's head.
"Oh great, you're back..." He groaned, "And stop chewing, it's hurting my head." Discord growled as he rubbed his head.
"Uh... Discord, who're you talkin' to? We're all right here." Applebloom said confusedly.
"And none of us are eating." Sweetie Belle added.
Discord looked at them nervously and blinked, giving a nervous chuckle, "I'll uh... be right outside girls..." H said as he disappeared and reappeared outside the door, "What do you think you're doing always making me seem--"
Normal considering you're supposd to b depicted as the God of insanity and chaos?
"... Shut up." Discord sighed, "Could you at least give yourself a body so I can see you or something?" He groaned.
*Sigh* Alright, fine. If that's really what you want...
Before Discord a bright light appeared taking the shape of a pony, then as the light faded, they cam into clear view. In front of him was a white and blue striped Pegasus pony with a wide wingspan, touching down and smirking, "Better?"
"Much. Now ponies won't believe I'm insane--"
"You mean to a lesser degree?"
"... Yes." he said grabbing him and pulling him into the room, "See, I'm not crazy!" he shouted to the Cutie Mark Crusaders who looked at him as if they'd just seen Nightmare Moon, "... What?"
"Discord... What're you talking about? You're the god of insanity." Sweetie Belle said confusedly.
"Who I've been talking to you silly filly! He's standing. Right. Here!" He said pointing at the blue and white striped Pegasus by his side who seemed oddly calm.
"Uh Discord... I dunno what to say..." Applebloom said looking at her friends confusedly.
"That I was ri--"
"But... There ain't nopony there." Applebloom said blinking with a furrowed brow.
Discord's eyes shot open and looked at them with confusion, "... What?" he said in shock while the pony continued to munch on the sandwich.
A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
A Dash Of Insanity Never Hurt Anyone
"So... Hold on, you're--"
"The Narrator, yep."
"And I'm--"
"The only one that can see me, mhm."
"And why're you--"
"Eating a sandwich? Cause I was hungry, duh."
"... You know, it feels like we've been talking about this for quite a while..." The draconiquis said as he looked at his wristwatch.
"Yeah, looks like the writer got lazy and forgot about this story till now." The light blue zegasus said as he took another bite of his sandwich.
"Wait... You're not the writer?" Discord said pointing down at him confusedly.
"'Course not, I just say what the almighty writer says to say. Pretty simple if you ask me."
"... Did he tell you to say that?"
"Say what?"
"... Nevermind. Anyways, where'm I going now? What poor pony am I pestering with my pleasurable persistance?" Discord said in minor annoyance, perking up a bit as he chuckled, "Alliteration? Ooh, a nice touch."
"Right? Anyways, seems like you're gonna be checking on... Rainbow Dash! Cool, always wanted to check out Cloudsdale." the Zegasus said tossing the remainder of his sandwich into his mouth, trotting on air away towards the cloud city before being grabbed and pulled back by Discord by his back hoof, "Uh... What's up?"
"Now hold on, I don't want to continuously call you 'Narrator', so what do I call you? Figment? Imaginary? Person--" Discord's mouth was then covered by a band of flex tape with the word 'NO.' on it.
"Yeeeaaaah, we're not doing that here. But, if it makes it any easier on you or the viewers at home, call me Cloud Crusher, or just Cloud, I don't care. Probably won't be used much if ever again after this story finishes up, y'know what I mean?" He said with a shrrug as he slipped his hoof free of Discord's grip.
"Alright then Cloud, onward to wherever Rainbow may be at the moment?"
"I don't understand the point of me--" Discord stopped cold as he turned back to see they were already in Cloudsdale, standing not a few yards upon a cloud from the Wonderbolts training grounds, "I... You... Well, that's certainly an interesting trick."
"We all have our own form of magic, my friend. Mine is not only not existing unless I want people to see me," He said as he waved at a passing blonde mailmare who waved back, "But the magic of scene shifting! It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it." He proclaimed proudly before heading towards the training grounds, "Now c'mon, you got a rainbow maned jock to pester."
"This... Is becoming more entertaining by the minute." The Chaos Lord said with an entertained grin as he flew after him.
Rainbow Dash was darting through the clouds with a few of the other Wonderbolts by her side, Spitfire below barking orders at a few of the newbies. Discord and Cloud grinned as they made their way behind Rainbow Dash, Discord snapping his fingers as a cotton candy cloud appeared in front of her, making her squeak in surprise as the others didn't seem to notice her disappearance. Upon fumbling her way to look behind her, she saw Discord who gave a finger twiddling wave, "Discord! What are you doing?! I'm in the middle of practice!"
"I know, and you're doing such a fantastic job! Is it so wrong that I wanted to pay a visit to my speedy equine friend for a little while? Drop off a care package perhaps?" He said holding up a bright blue box with a rainbow ribbon.
"Hmmm... Whatever, I guess. I could take a break." She said taking the box as she shook off the sugary remnants and floated down to the ground, heading towards the break rooms after giving a salute to Spitfire, who returned it before her glasses fell a bit seeing Discord. Though the bright blue Zebra-Pegasus hybrid trailing above Rainbow Dash was certainly a sight and a half.
Upon making it inside, Rainbow hopped into a seat and sighed, stretching her wings as she opened up the present box with ferocity, being met with... A golden framed picture of Discord. The frame in in the shape of Discord's head, the little stand at the back in the shape of his lion paw, "Uh... Thanks, I guess? How is this supposed to help?"
Discord gave a dramatic gasp as he feigned insulted pain, "Because, Rainbow, what else could possibly help you in your training than the thought of me being by your side the entire way? My goodness, some element of friendship you are." he said crossing his arms and looking off to the side.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and chuckled a little bit looking at the picture, "Y'know what? Thanks, Discord." She said with a light smile, earning a wide eyed look from the draconequis.
"Come again?"
Discord sat there, his eyes pinpricked as he looked slowly at Cloud who was eating one of the cupcakes himself, peering back at Discord with a bored expression and a shrug as he continued munching away at the sugary delicacy, "Y-Yes, well... I'm glad you appreciate it! You wouldn't believe how long it took me to think of such a thoughtful and all-round amazing gift."
"Oh yeah, I can believe it." Rainbow said with another prompt rolling of her eyes before grinning and packing it all up, "Thanks a bunch, Discord. By the way, how'd you know I was here?"
"I... You knew, didn't you?" he said peering at Cloud who shrugged once more, licking a bit off icing off his hoof, "Right... I suppose that means I'm-- We're done here?"
"That is a 10-4 good buddy." He said with a salute, now with a trucker hat upon his head with 'Narrator' across it, "Should we get going?"
"I... Yes, yes we should." He said standing and walking outside. As the two passed by, Discord would see Rainbow Dash being questioned by Spitfire who looked ahead behind Rainbow and pointed at Discord and Cloud, Rainbow turning around and looking at him only to seem a bit confused and explaining something only for Spitfire to return with more aggression and confusion turning her head forcefully to point out next to Discord where Cloud hovered and waved, flexing a hoof at Spitfire with a wink. Rainbow Dash slowly looked back at Spitfire and smiled nervously, slowly nodding as she backed away and suddenly was gone. Discord, putting two and two together, looked to the sly smiling Zegasus and smirked with a nod as the two were then gone with a snap of the chaotic being's fingers.
Author's Note
My goodness it has been a long time since I updated this story! But with all the free time I've got now, I can write a lot more often and I should've been doing just that for you all to have material to read from me. I apologize for my absence but I've been... Burned out, I guess? Whatever, doesn't matter. I'm here, I'm writing, and I'm also taking commissions if anyone is interested! Enough plugging, I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and I will see you guys online!
🎮Gamer Script, Signing Off!🎮
A Day in the Life of a Reformed Chaos Lord
An Apple A Day Won't Keep Chaos Away
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