Bondsby LionChaptersHonestyLaughter... I ran out of elements involved in the shenanigans to name chapters after...Not a Euphamism.HonestyThis was not cool. “... and you can see from the high pressure front they lost down in Phillydelphia, if it moves up this way…” But it was cool, was the thing. It was more cool than Rainbow Dash could even believe was possible. “... if it goes unchecked, it’s going to mess up the weather for the entire season. So…” For Dash it was, at least. But there was no way anypony else would see it that way. “... need to form an organized response team and execute the plan without error…” What if Applejack found out? Dash could just picture the ribbing she’d get. That stupid apple farmer would never let her hear the end of it! “... So, if we deploy the bravo team to quadrant 4, and the charlie team to quadrant 6...” ’You let Rarity do what to you!?’ she’d laugh. Oh man Rainbow, you gonna tell me you started playin’ with lil’ dollies next!?’ “... should be enough to stop that first wave of...” And what about her other friends? They’d never think she was cool again! “... Rainbow Dash?” But it was so sexy. Sweet Celestia, Rainbow couldn’t even remember the last time she’d gotten off that hard. “... Rainbow Dash…?” Could she even admit it to Rarity? What would she even say? ’Hey Rares, remember that time you pretended to be your Nightmare self, chained me to the bed and had your way with me while I was completely helpless to stop you? That was totally hot. Wanna do it again?’ “Rainbow Dash!” “Gah!” Rainbow yelped as she snapped her pencil between her hooves and looked up at her surroundings. Cloud Kicker, Blossomforth, Thunderlane, Snowflake, and Ditzy Doo all stared at her. “What? What is it?” Rainbow asked hurriedly. “Did you want to say something?” Cloud Kicker asked from the chalkboard. “Uh… No?” Rainbow said, quirking an eyebrow. “Oh,” Cloud Kicker said slowly. “Then… why’d you flare your wings?” Rainbow’s eyes widened as she glanced to her sides. Sure enough, her wings were standing to attention, and she hadn’t even noticed. “No reason,” She said flatly as she began forcing her wings back down to her sides, hoping that nopony would notice the sudden red glow of her cheeks. “Are you feeling alright, Rainbow? I mean, I know you said you were a little distracted earlier, which is why you wanted me to give the presentation, but–” “I’m totally fine!” Rainbow interrupted with indignation. “I’m just… Uh… Hungry. Is it time for lunch yet?” “Rainbow, it’s only 8:30. We just started the meeting,” Cloud Kicker said flatly. “Heh… Right. I, uh… Skipped breakfast. Again,” Rainbow said with a sheepish grin. The other five ponies stared at her for a long moment before Cloud Kicker finally coughed into her hoof. “Okay. Well, I guess you already know what’s going on since you wrote the briefing. If you want to go get some breakfast, I’m not gonna–” “Kaythanksbye!” Rainbow shouted as she rocketed out of her chair, straight through the open window and into the skies of Ponyville. “–stop you,” Cloud Kicker finished. She looked quickly at her remaining compatriots with an awkward frown. Thunderlane gave her a shrug, and she sighed. “Okay, so, moving on…” “Come on, Rainbow, that was so uncool!” Rainbow chastised herself as she flew towards Carousel Boutique, repeatedly rapping her hooves against her skull. How many times am I going to let this happen? she thought as she landed at the front door. I just gotta say it, right? Just walk up to Rarity and say, ‘Hey, we should do it again.’ Piece of cake. The door pushed open easily and Rainbow strode inside. “Rainbow? Is that you?” Rarity’s voice called from upstairs. Rainbow swallowed hard. Piece of cake. Applejack smiled to herself as she stared at the ceiling. It was well past 8am now, judging by the angle of the sunlight flooding her room, but she didn’t care. It was Friday, and she’d worked hard all week, and it wasn’t Apple Buck season anyway; It didn’t exactly matter if the fence got mended at 6:30 or 8:30. With a contented sigh, Applejack looked to the pony still sleeping beside her. The mess of pink curls atop her head obscured her face from view, so she moved them to the side with a hoof. “Pinkie, I gotta get up now,” she said softly. “Mmm, five more minutes,” Pinkie whispered back as she wrapped her hooves around AJ’s neck and pulled her into a tight hug. Applejack chuckled as she attempted to gently wriggle free from her lover’s embrace. “We had five more minutes already, sugarcube. In fact, we’ve had at least 10 ‘five more minutes’es.” “Well, I want five more,” Pinkie said, her grip tightening all the more Applejack struggled. “Ya can’t always get what ya want, Pinks.” Applejack placed a small kiss on Pinkie’s forehead. “But I’ll be around later. Anyway, don’t you gotta get back to Sugarcube Corner? I thought you said you were workin’ today.” Pinkie finally opened her eyes and sat up, withdrawing her hooves abruptly and crossing them in front of her chest. “Fine, fine,” she said with an adorable, exaggerated pout. Applejack gave her a quick nuzzle before rolling out of the bed and stepping over to her dresser to run a comb through her mane. “I already overslept by two hours.” “Why do you have to get up so early anyway? Wouldn’t you rather stay here with me?” “A’course I’d rather stay here with you, but s’part of runnin’ a farm, hun. Didn’t you have to get up early back on the rock farm?” Pinkie shrugged. “Not really. I mean, they’re rocks; They’re still gonna be there whether you water them in the morning or afternoon.” Applejack looked back to Pinkie with a raised eyebrow. “You… watered the rocks?” “Duh!” Pinkie laughed. “How else are they gonna grow up into big, strong boulders full of shiny gems?” Applejack cocked her head while she tried to decide if Pinkie was messing with her or not. Pinkie giggled when she didn’t say anything and followed her over to the dresser, rearing up to drape her hooves across the other mare’s back. “You know,” Pinkie whispered into Applejack’s ear, “Sometimes I think I should just tie you to the bed. Then you couldn’t go work, even if you wanted to.” Applejack felt a shiver run down her spine as Pinkie’s breath played across her neck. What did she just say? “... And you wouldn’t want to,” Pinkie cooed. “I, uh, uh, how’sabout I come’n see ya ‘round lunchtime?” Applejack quickly changed the subject, turning her face away to hide the growing blush in her cheeks. “Would that make ya feel better?” “Aww, alriiiiiight,” Pinkie groaned, tilting her head back and looking exasperated. “I’ll see you then!” she chirped, quickly bouncing out of the room. Applejack fell to her haunches and wiped her brow with a hoof. Land’s sake did she not want to go work right now. “Hey, uh, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said as she pushed the bedroom door open. “Just a minute, darling, I’m about to get in the shower,” Rarity called back from behind the closed door of the adjoining bathroom. Rainbow sucked in air around her teeth. ‘Just a minute,’ when it came from Rarity and involved any sort of beautification ritual, typically meant more like ‘just an hour,’ at least. Rainbow cleared her throat. “Could I talk to you for a minute first?” “Can’t it wait?” “It’s kinda important,” Rainbow said, tapping her hoof lightly on the plush carpet. “Alright, one moment,” Rarity called back. Rainbow heard Rarity’s hoofsteps cross over to the door and a moment later she appeared in the doorway. Rainbow’s heart skipped a beat as she saw her marefriend’s smile, her beautiful blue eyes fluttering, her soft white coat shimmering in the sunlight... “Well? Whatever is the matter, dear?” Rarity asked from the doorway. Rainbow shook her head. Just say it, Dash, she thought as she braced herself. Her perfectly curved flank just barely concealed by the pink, fluffy bathrobe… “... How’re the dresses?” she heard herself say. Dammit! Rarity gave Rainbow an appraising look for a few moments before rolling her eyes and closing the bathroom door once more. Dammit dammit dammit! Rainbow tossed her neck back in frustration. The familiar hiss of the shower head sprang to life and she knew the opportunity was lost. It would be at least an hour before she saw Rarity again. “What is wrong with me?” She asked herself as she turned toward the hallway and headed downstairs. It took less than a minute to find the box of oats in Rarity’s kitchen. Helping herself to a large bowl, she sat down at the table and pouted as she ate. ”Mao.” Rainbow sat up abruptly and turned. “Oh, hey Opal.” ”Mao,” Opal said as she hopped up onto the table, purring softly. “Don’t get your hair in my bowl,” Dash said as she eyed the cat warily. Opal sat back on her haunches and raised a paw as if to say, ”Who, me?” Dash turned back to her bowl. Opal immediately slid over to her, rubbing her tail under Dash’s chin as she passed by and leaving her scraping hair off her tongue that should never have been able to get there in the first place. “Gakk!! Kpphth, gross!” Rainbow coughed. “What’s the big idea, cat?” ”Mao,” Opal replied. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’ve got my own problems to deal with, so… skedaddle, okay?” ”Mao,” Opal said as she sat down. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” Rainbow groused as she stabbed at her oats with her spoon. Opal licked her paw. “Look, even if I told you, you wouldn’t have any relevant advice anyway, so could we drop it? Please?” ’Mao.” “I’ve gotta get back to work,” Rainbow held her head in her hooves and sighed. ”Mao.” Opal seemed to shrug as she leapt off the table. Rainbow watched her walk out of the kitchen and turned back to her oats. She shook her head. This was going to be a long day. The bell above the front door of Sugarcube Corner rang as Applejack walked inside, a smattering of friendly smiles greeting her from the ponies getting lunch. She waved politely as she scanned the room for her marefriend, until she was bowled over by a force from behind. “Hi Applejack!” Pinkie’s bright voice chimed, and Applejack chuckled as she bent her neck up to kiss the other mare on the cheek. “Hey, Pinkie,” she said. “Are you hungry?” Pinkie asked as she helped Applejack back to her hooves. “I just finished a batch of apple cinnamon muffins, and they’re really cinnamony and appley and muffiny and–” “Sounds delicious,” Applejack said with a nod. To Applejack’s surpise, Pinkie sighed. “Not as delicious as the real thing, though…” Applejack cocked her head. “Whaddaya mean? Ya didn’t use real apples? Is there even such a thing as fake apples?” Pinkie giggled and shook her head before leaning in close and whispering, “No silly, not as delicious as you.” Applejack’s face flushed instantly, eliciting another giggle from Pinkie as she hopped into the kitchen. “Anyway, one apple cinnamon muffin comin’ right up!” What has gotten into her? Applejack thought as she wobbled her way over to a booth and took a seat. She shook her head, hoping to dispel some of her blushing before anypony noticed. “Here ya go!” Pinkie chirped as she set the muffin down in front of AJ, taking the seat across from her and smiling brightly. “Thanks, Pinkie,” Applejack said as she took a bite of the muffin. It was delicious. “So how was your morning?” Pinkie asked. “Fine,” Applejack said through a mouthful of muffin. She swallowed and wiped her mouth with a hoof. “Didn’t take too long to get the fence mended, and I was able to get a jump on sortin’ out the baskets, too. I’d say we’re a mite ahead of sched–ULE!” Applejack squeaked as she felt Pinkie’s hoof run along the inside of her thigh. “Pinkie!” She whispered harshly. “We’re in public!” “So?” Pinkie whispered back, eyes half lidded. Applejack shifted backwards on her seat as she felt Pinkie’s hoof begin another pass. “Somepony might see us!” “Duh?” Pinkie giggled. “That’s what makes it so hot.” Applejack frowned. “Well, I don’t think it is so hot.” “Really? Because your cheeks tell a different story,” Pinkie mused. “I–” Applejack whinnied in surprise as she felt Pinkie’s hoof touch her cutiemark. “Pinkie, stop it, or I’m just gonna go!” Pinkie rolled her eyes and sighed. “I was only teasing.” “Thank you,” Applejack said as she took another bite of muffin. “I should get back to work, anyway,” Pinkie said as she got up from the table. “If you’re ahead of schedule, do you wanna come over later and watch a movie? Or maybe write a song, or play a board game? Or we could bake, or plan a party, or invent a language, or–” “Yeah, sure,” Applejack interrupted. “I think Rainbow wanted to play horseshoes later, but I could come by after.” “Great! I’ll see you then,” Pinkie said, kissing Applejack’s cheek and swiftly bouncing back to the kitchen. Applejack sighed and leaned back in her seat. Rainbow Dash dragged her hoof across the dirt and leaned forward, the metallic tang of the horseshoe spreading through her mouth. She was one with the horseshoe. The horseshoe was an extension of her mouth. Lean and throw. Lean and– “... and the galas are lookin’ really red this year, which bodes well for–” Rainbow lost her balance and the horseshoe toppled out of her mouth, falling flat in the dirt in front of her. “Augh! Come on AJ, I’m trying to throw, here!” Rainbow snapped. “You’re the one who asked how I was,” Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. “Well yeah, ‘cause I thought you’d say like, ‘I’m great, thanks,’ or something,” Rainbow said. Applejack paused. “You feelin’ alright, RD? You seem stressed.” “I’m fine,” Rainbow grumbled, kicking the horseshoe away and sitting down on the ground. This was all Rarity’s fault. She couldn’t even throw horseshoes anymore without Rarity messing it all up. “... Wanna talk about it?” Applejack’s voice came quietly. Rainbow sighed. “... Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just play.” Rainbow heard Applejack’s hoofsteps behind her coming closer, and suddenly she was sitting next to her. “You can’t fool me, Rainbow. I know when somethin’s botherin’ ya. I just wanna help.” Rainbow looked up to see Applejack’s friendly smile. “You’ll make fun of me.” Applejack shook her head. “No, I won’t.” Rainbow chewed on her cheek for a moment. “... You promise?” Applejack waved her hoof around and placed it over her eye. “I Pinkie Promise.” Rainbow held her breath as she gathered her thoughts. Stupid, sexy Rarity. “Umm… Okay, this is… really awkward. But… Uhh… It has to do with Rarity.” Applejack chuckled. “Uh oh. What’d she do this time?” ’Say it. Say the name of the mare you can’t resist.’ “You said you wouldn’t make fun,” Rainbow said with a glare. Applejack straightened her face and coughed into a hoof. “Sorry, RD. Go on.” “Well… See, on my birthday, she… gave me a present.” “Ya didn’t like it?” ’Say my name.’ Rainbow shivered. “No, it was great. Really great. I loved it.” Applejack narrowed her eyes. “So… what’s the problem?” Rainbow tugged at her mane. “It was too good!” “So, Rarity got you a gift, and you liked it too much?” “Exactly!” Rainbow said with a satisfied smile. “I hate ta sound like I’m repeatin’ myself, but why is that a bad thing? Did you lose it or somethin’?” Rainbow exhaled. “No, it was like… a one time thing.” “Any chance you could be a little more specific? I’m tryin’ to help here, but you’re not givin’ me much to go on.” Rainbow rubbed her neck. This wasn’t working. Maybe she should just start with a little truth, and it would flow from there? “Uh… Sometimes, me and Rarity have sex.” Applejack leaned back and closed her eyes. “Aww jeez, Rainbow, I don’t wanna know about that.” “You said you wanted to help!” Rainbow retorted as she shot to her hooves. “Besides, we talk about sex all the time.” “Sure, as a concept, but I don’t wanna picture, like, you an’ Rares… goin’ at it.” Applejack stuck out her tongue. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Come on, like you and Pinks’ve never done it.” Applejack pulled the brim of her hat down to hide her reddening cheeks. “I didn’t say that.” “So, you ready to help me now?” Applejack sighed and pushed her hat back up. “Fine. Sometimes you and Rarity… hvsx.” Rainbow snickered. “So what’s that got to do with your birthday present?” Rainbow stopped snickering and pawed at the ground. “Well… Uh…” “Oh, Celestia,” Applejack wretched, “Don’t tell me you two did somethin’ weird.” “It wasn’t weird, it was awesome!” Rainbow barked before realizing what she’d done. “Uh… I mean… Ah, ponyfeathers…” “So that was your present? Some freaky sex stuff?” Rainbow shook her head. “Nevermind, this was a mistake. I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Rainbow was just about to take off and fly away when she felt Applejack’s hoof on her back. “Wait, RD. It’s okay. I get it.” Rainbow turned back to look at Applejack again, who started tapping her hooves together. “I can’t say I really wanna know what it is you and Rarity get up to, but… I understand. Sometimes, Pinkie says things that… Well, I think she just says ‘em ‘cos she likes seein’ me flustered, yanno? But… Sometimes, I… I kinda wish she’d follow through.” Rainbow folded her wings and sat back down, Applejack immediately following suit. “I know it’s awkward, but you should probably just tell Rarity you wanna do it again. Right? She loves you, and… If she loved you enough to do it before, then why wouldn’t she do it again?” The two mares stared off into space for several long seconds as the breeze played with their manes. “This is the most awkward conversation we’ve ever had,” Rainbow mumbled. “Eeeyup.” Applejack nodded. “We should never do this again.” “Eeenope.” Applejack shook her head. “Good talk,” Rainbow said, and launched herself into the air. Laughter“I’m home,” Rainbow Dash called as she pushed open the door to Carousel Boutique and tromped inside, collapsing on Rarity’s chaise lounge with a sigh. “Welcome back, Dashie Dearest,” Rarity’s voice called back from the kitchen. “I was just making some tea, would you like any?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You know I don’t drink tea,” she called back. “One of these days I’ll get you to try it, and you’ll see it’s not so bad.” “Yeah, sure,” Rainbow muttered as she rolled onto her side and pulled a pillow over her face. “How was horseshoes with Applejack?” Rarity asked as she entered the room, floating her teapot onto the nearby coffee table and sitting in her recliner. “Fine,” Rainbow said from beneath the pillow. Rainbow took a deep breath as she waited for Rarity to scold her for misusing her pillow, but to her surprise she heard nothing. Instead, she felt Rarity’s hoof gently stroking a small circle at the base of her wings. “I missed you, Rainbow,” she said softly. Rainbow moved the pillow off her head to look back at Rarity, who gave her a coy smirk and fluttered her eyelashes. “I missed you too,” Rainbow said back. Rarity pressed her lips against Rainbow’s, and for a moment she was lost in the pleasant softness. “Why don’t I go start us a bubblebath?” Rarity whispered. Rainbow exhaled hard and pulled the pillow back over her head. “That’s okay, I’m good.” “Come now, it’ll be nice. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll even give you a wing massage,” Rarity said, dragging her hooves along the bone of Rainbow’s right primary. Rainbow twitched her wing. She could already predict the whole evening ahead of her. They’d get in the bath, Rarity would be all coy for a bit, then she’d gently stroke her wings and pepper her with tiny kisses, and by the fifth minute she’d be half way asleep. Boring. Nice, but boring. “I have a headache,” Rainbow mumbled and forced her body further into the cushions of the chaise lounge. Rarity’s hoof pulled back and she waited in silence for her to say something. “Oh… Okay,” Rarity finally said. Rainbow listened as Rarity’s hoofsteps retreated back to her recliner and bit her lip. Her stomach churned unpleasantly. “I’m sorry, Rares. It’s just been a long day. Rain check, alright?” Rarity nodded. “Sure,” she said as she sipped her tea. “Thanks for understanding,” Rainbow said as she got off the chaise lounge and kissed Rarity on the cheek. “I’m just gonna go hit the hay.” Rarity smiled gently. “Okay. Good night, darling.” Pinkie Pie giggled as she moved her rook past Go for the third time in the turn. “... And that means I get to put hotels on Candy Cane Forest! King me!” Applejack closed her eyes and exhaled. “This is why yer supposed to go to jail when you roll doubles three times in a row, to prevent shenanigans like these.” Pinkie Pie blew a raspberry in response. “Jail’s no fun.” Applejack surveyed the assorted game boards and looked back to her scratch pad. Hotels on Candy Cane Forest would mean she could move her Queen to the other side of the checkers board, which in turn meant she’d get to assemble the last piece of the Mouse Trap. If she triggered the Mouse Trap and it didn’t outright fail, she’d get to drop another coin in the Connect Four board, and… The writing on the wall was clear as day. Pinkie Pie had won this round of Monopocheckesslandtrapfour. “Well, looks like you won,” Applejack said, tipping her hat. “Well played, sugar.” “You’re giving up?” Pinkie asked, pouting out her lower lip. “Uh… Yeah?” Applejack said. “... Okay! What do you want to do next?” Pinkie asked, her bright smile already back. Applejack tapped her hoof to her chin. “Actually, I can think of a few things…” “Yeah?” Pinkie chirped, hopping up onto her hooves. Applejack felt her heart flutter as a heat rose in her cheeks. Just follow yer own advice, Sugarcube… “Uh… Earlier, you said somethin’ about–” “Inventing a language?” Pinkie interrupted her. “... No,” Applejack shook her head. “Not that. See, sometimes you say things, and I’m not entirely sure how to take them. And, I really love you–” “Aww, I love you too, AJ!” Pinkie interrupted again, this time launching herself across the gameboards to tackle Applejack to the ground. Applejack giggled as Pinkie loomed over her. “I know ya do. But like I was sayin’, uh, earlier, you–” Applejack suddenly felt Pinkie’s lips upon hers, eliciting a surprised squeak. When Pinkie released the kiss, Applejack chuckled nervously. “You’re not gonna let me finish, are ya?” Pinkie giggled, then gave Applejack a half-lidded stare. “Sorry, you’re really cute when you’re underneath me.” “See!” Applejack pointed an accusatory hoof at Pinkie. “Stuff like that! You say stuff, and I don’t know what it means. Earlier, you said you wanted to tie me to the bed!” Pinkie cocked her head. “What? I was just teasing.” Applejack exhaled and rubbed her neck. “So… that’s all it is? Just… teasing?” Pinkie Pie reared back onto her haunches and narrowed her gaze. “Do you… want me to tie you to the bed?” Applejack could feel her cheeks burning as her stomach did a cartwheel. “... Maybe?” Pinkie giggled. “I can do that! Give me your hooves.” Applejack pushed herself up onto her elbows and raised an eyebrow. “So… you don’t think that’s weird?” “Maybe a little,” Pinkie said with a shrug, “but if you’d like it, then I’d be happy to do it for you.” Applejack felt the corners of her mouth turn up slowly. “Oh. Okay. Uh, cool.” “So? Come over here,” Pinkie said as she walked toward the bed. Applejack chewed her cheek as she got to her hooves. “But, see, uh, I don’t wanna just let you tie me up.” Pinkie stopped and turned back to face her. “What do you mean?” Applejack pawed at the floorboards. “I want you to force me to let you tie me up.” Pinkie pursed her lips. “So... you don’t want me to tie you up?” “No, I do,” Applejack said, her cheeks feeling like the surface of Celestia’s sun. “... But I wanna pretend like I don’t… Get it?” Pinkie Pie tapped a hoof to her chin for a few moments before shaking her head. “Noper-doper!” Applejack sighed. Perhaps she needed a new tactic. “Think of it like a game. Your goal is to tie me up, and my goal is not to let you.” Pinkie giggled. “Alright… and then what?” Applejack pulled her hat down in front of her eyes. Her breathing was starting to become ragged just thinking about it. “... And then you have your way with me, no matter what I say to the contrary.” “What do you mean? You’re gonna tell me to stop?” Applejack felt a shiver pass through her entire body as she thought about Pinkie looming over her, her limbs restrained, all means of defense stripped away… “Yeah,” she squeaked. “I’m gonna beg you to let me go, but don’t. I don’t actually mean it.” Pinkie sat down on the bed and looked at the floor. “I guess that makes sense… But I don’t want to hurt you.” Applejack shook her head. “You won’t.” “But… what if you get scared, or actually do want me to stop?” Applejack tapped a hoof to her chin. “Uh… I guess we should have a safe word?” Pinkie brightened up instantly. “Ooh! Ooh! Can I pick the safeword?” Applejack chuckled. “Sure, Pinkie, make it whatever you want.” “Picklebarrel!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing up and down on the bed, before suddenly taking on a dire countenance. “Oh, but wait! What if you accidentally say Picklebarrel when you don’t mean to?” “... I don’t think that’s gonna happen, sugar,” Applejack said. “Are you sure?” Pinkie asked hurriedly, jumping off the bed to cradle Applejack’s face in her hooves. “Because sometimes I just say ‘Picklebarrel’ for no reason at all, just because it’s so fun to say!” Applejack took Pinkie’s hooves in her own and gazed into her sapphire eyes. “If I accidentally say Picklebarrel when I don’t mean to, then it’s on me. Alright?” “Alright,” Pinkie agreed with a soft, fond smile. Applejack smiled and leaned forward for a quick kiss. “You’re sure you’re alright with doin’ this?” Pinkie kissed back, and Applejack felt her tongue flick across her lips. She opened her mouth instinctively, and immediately felt Pinkie push deeper, tickling the top of her mouth. Applejack giggled at the sensation, then suddenly felt her body slamming into the bed as Pinkie threw all her weight on top of her. She opened her eyes to see Pinkie pull a large pink ribbon out of her hair. “Pinkie?” Applejack giggled. “Shhhh,” Pinkie cooed as she ran her hoof along Applejack’s foreleg, “just let it happen.” Applejack blinked. “... Oh! Is this it? Are we starting now?” Pinkie winked and Applejack felt the ribbon wrapping around her front hooves. She jerked them down to her sides in response and shifted her weight in an attempt to wriggle free, but Pinkie planted her hooves on either side of her head and pressed her weight down on her. Applejack sucked in air as Pinkie’s hipbones ground into her own, the pressure sending faint, pleasant tingles throughout her legs and torso. Pinkie took advantage of her momentary distraction to grab her right foreleg and pull it up over her head, looping the ribbon around her hoof and pulling it taught. Applejack squeaked as the plastic dug into her fur, the dull pain reminding her that she was supposed to be fighting this. She tried to lift her hoof, but Pinkie had superior leverage, pinning it to the bed. “I love it when you squirm,” Pinkie cooed, nibbling gently at her ear. Applejack giggled between grunts as she tried to lift her hoof. It was really happening. It was really, actually happening. “Happy to oblige,” she breathed out as she shifted her weight again, finally succeeding in pushing Pinkie off of her. “Oof!” Pinkie fell off the bed with a thud. Applejack made to roll off the other side of her bed, but was stopped as Pinkie pulled the ribbon around her hoof taut. “Get back here,” Pinkie growled. Applejack tried to pull her hoof away as hard as she could, but Pinkie had already threaded the ribbon through the gaps in the headboard, tying it off in a perfect bow. She wouldn’t be able to run without untying the ribbon… If she could find a way to untie it with only one hoof free. Pinkie hopped back onto the bed and loomed over her, curly tail swishing as she reared back to pounce. Applejack swallowed hard. “Don’t,” she forced herself to object, though it was hardly convincing when they both knew she wanted it so badly. Pinkie smirked. “Giving up already?” Applejack shook her head. “N-No, never.” She reached her free hoof towards the ribbon, but the moment she did Pinkie snagged it in another length of ribbon she’d materialized out of nowhere. “Hey!” She protested. “We’re only just getting started, you can’t leave already!” Pinkie taunted her, tying off the new length of ribbon on the other side of the headboard. Applejack looked back and forth between her forehooves and Pinkie and chuckled nervously. She tried tugging on each hoof, but all she could accomplish was to restrict the blood flow to her hooves further as the ribbons dug into her skin. “Don’t you go anywhere,” Pinkie said with a giggle before disappearing into her closet. Applejack could feel sweat beading on her forehead as she listened to her marefriend humming a cheerful tune as various odds and ends came flying out of the closet onto the bedroom floor. If she wasn’t going to give up – and she wasn’t – her best chance at this point would be to chew through the ribbon. She craned her neck to her right, and then her left, trying to see if either was easier to reach. Both seemed equally impossible, as her teeth fell several inches short, but she had to try. “Now, where did I put it?” Pinkie sing-songed from the closet as Applejack strained her neck muscles. Just an inch more and she could reach… “Here it is!” Pinkie cheered, and all the rooting around stopped. Applejack felt the ribbon between her teeth and chewed for all she was worth. “Hey, what are you doing?” Pinkie’s voice scolded from behind her. Applejack dared not turn to look; Another second and her hoof would be free. “Ah!” Applejack gasped as she felt Pinkie’s tongue trace her cutiemark, losing her grip on the ribbon and looking down to her assailant. Pinkie shook her head with a frown, clicking her tongue as she climbed back onto the bed. Of all the things Applejack could have expected Pinkie to come out of the closet with, this was certainly not one of them; She’d put on a black lace-up corset and matching thong. Applejack felt her eyes widening as she took in the bizarre sight. “Have you always owned that?” Applejack wheezed. “Eh, I bought it for a joke I played on Rainbow once,” Pinkie admitted with a giggle, “but it seemed relevant now.” Pinkie narrowed her gaze. “However! No biting your bindings! That’s very naughty.” “What are ya gonna do?” Applejack sneered. “Put me in time out?” Pinkie gave her a half-lidded gaze as she crept over her, smirking all the while. “No, I’ve got a much more fitting punishment in mind for you.” Applejack chuckled. “Do your worst.” Pinkie lowered her face – slowly – down to Applejack’s ear and whispered, “I intend to.” Applejack’s whole body shivered in anticipation as she felt Pinkie licking along her jawline, electric tingles firing through her mind with every stroke of her tongue. She tried to roll to the side, but Pinkie lowered her weight onto her at just the right moment to stop her momentum. Applejack felt Pinkie’s pelvis rocking against hers, their marehoods separated only by the thin black thong, rapidly dampening. Pinkie brought her hooves up to either side of Applejack’s face and corralled her mouth into a deep kiss, her tongue exploring every nook and crevice of the bound mare’s mouth. Applejack took rapid breaths through her nose as her eyes rolled back in their sockets. She couldn’t move, couldn’t escape; It was just like she’d hoped it would be. She couldn’t help but rock her hips in time with Pinkie’s, each brush of contact sending jolts of lightning up through her spine as Pinkie’s tongue probed deeper into her mouth. She was totally helpless, out of breath, rocking into each movement, escape barely a thought in her mind, and this was Pinkie Pie, the love of her life, making her feel this good, and– Uh oh. “Pinkie,” Applejack gasped as best as she could with Pinkie’s tongue halfway into her mouth, “I’m gonna–” “No talking,” Pinkie scolded, running her hooves along her barrel in tantalizing arcs. Applejack moaned as Pinkie’s thong stroked across her folds, the fabric having completely soaked through. “Pinkie, I’m gonna–” Pinkie interrupted her by pulling her tongue into her own mouth and sucking, and Applejack spasmed at the new sensation. “Nnnnngggg–Pinkieeeeeeeee!” Applejack cried as she bucked her hips furiously, Pinkie providing all the necessary resistance. Waves of pure energy fired through her body, her mind clouding over as she lost herself in Pinkie’s embrace. Time slowed to a crawl with each sputtering jolt, fresh daggers shooting into her mind as her convulsions slowly subsided. Gradually, almost painfully, Applejack opened her eyes and saw Pinkie staring down at her, lips shut tight as her eyes twinkled brightly. “AJ… did you just… did you just come?” Applejack’s eyes shot open as her cheeks burned. She tried to reach up to pull her hat down over her face, only to be reminded that her legs were still tied to the headboard. This was the most embarrassing moment of her entire life. “... Maybe?” Applejack said, trying to shrink down to as small a size as she could. Pinkie giggled. Applejack panted. “Wow. And here I thought Rainbow Dash was the fastest mare in Equestria,” Pinkie chided her, smiling brightly as she laid down next to Applejack and wrapped her hooves around her neck. Applejack kept panting. “I’m sorry, Pinks,” she gasped. “I… Uh… I’m sorry.” Pinkie giggled again as she squeezed Applejack’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “Why? That was totally, super-duper fun!” Applejack blinked. “Uh… Really?” Pinkie nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah! I mean, I knew I was sexy, but I didn't realize I was that sexy.” Applejack flicked her ears as she stared into Pinkie’s eyes. “... Yeah. You are.” Pinkie giggled and gave Applejack another kiss. Applejack smiled through her panting. “You are the best marefriend ever,” she finally said. “I know,” Pinkie said with a wink, “... but so are you." Applejack felt the ribbons around her hooves come loose and immediately brought them down to cradle Pinkie’s face, enjoying the soft warmth of her afterglow for all it was worth. "So, ready for round two?" Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. "What!?" Applejack squeaked. Pinkie giggled as her stomach rumbled, and Applejack couldn’t resist joining in her laughter. Pinkie traced some lazy circles around Applejack’s chest. “My stomach says it’s hungry.” Applejack nodded. “Snack break?” Pinkie stood up from the bed and slid out of her corset and thong, placing them gently in the pile of clothes spilling out of her closet. “Wanna go see what we can rustle up downstairs?” Applejack followed her to the door. “Darn tootin’.” As the two ponies crept down the dark hallway toward the staircase, Applejack wrapped her tail around Pinkie’s and sighed. Her mane was a mess, her fur was matted with sweat, and her legs ached from exertion, but she didn’t care. She had Pinkie Pie. ... I ran out of elements involved in the shenanigans to name chapters after...Applejack hummed a tuneless melody as she swept off the farmhouse’s porch with her tail. She was humming loudly enough as to be heard from at least twenty feet away. Rarity rolled her tongue across her teeth. It wasn’t that odd that she was humming. Applejack had a lovely voice, after all, and could often be found singing a merry tune to herself when doing her farmwork; Rarity had happened upon such a scene many times in her visits to the farm. No, what was so odd was that Applejack was cleaning. Well, no, that wasn’t quite right either; Applejack cleaned whenever it was appropriate. She would not leave the kitchen a mess after baking, or muddy hoofprints on the floor, because such things were impolite. Applejack cleaned out of obligation, because it was the right thing to do. Applejack. Cleaning. Happy. This did not add up. “Hello, Applejack,” Rarity called out as she approached the farmhouse. Applejack continued humming, sweeping across the porch with a dance-like rhythm. Rarity felt her skin crawl. “Howdy, Rarity! What brings you round the farm?” Applejack asked. Rarity took a deep breath. Something was up with her friend, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood,” Rarity said with a nonchalant wave of her hoof. “I must say, you look positively radiant this afternoon.” Applejack stopped sweeping, giggled, and blushed. This was even worse than Rarity had thought. “Thanks, Rares,” Applejack said as she adjusted her hat. “Can I get ya anything? Some juice, or cider? I think Granny’s got a tea pot somewhere–” “No, I’m quite alright, thank you,” Rarity said. “I’m much more interested in hearing about what has got you in such a good mood.” “Huh? Oh, it’s nothin’,” Applejack said with a shrug. “I very much doubt that,” Rarity said as she tapped a hoof to her chin. There was definitely something different about her, if she could just figure out what. “I know! You finally started using that shampoo I got you for Hearth’s Warming last year, didn’t you?” Applejack shook her head. “No.” Rarity narrowed her gaze. “You got new horseshoes?” “Umm… No.” “Well, clearly SOMETHING is making you glow today. What is it?” Applejack rolled her eyes. “I’m just happy, Rarity. There don’t always gotta be a reason.” Rarity sighed. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to, but…” Rarity paused to give Applejack a menacing glare, “I will find out.” Applejack shrugged. “If you say so.” “Yes. Well.” Rarity coughed into her hoof. “As it so happens, there is a reason I am here today.” “I thought you said you were just in the neighborhood, and decided to stop by?” Applejack smirked. Rarity shook her head. “Honestly, Applejack, a lady is entitled to a certain element of benign deceit when investigating the abnormal emotional statuses of her friends.” Applejack blinked. “A certain element of what now when investigatin’ the whosits?” “I lied to you because I wanted to know why you’re so happy,” Rarity said flatly. “I already told you, nothin’s–” Rarity raised a hoof. “Doesn’t matter. I wanted to ask you about Rainbow Dash.” Applejack’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before she adjusted her hat and turned around. “What about ‘er?” Rarity narrowed her gaze. That was a tell. “She’s been acting… strange, I suppose you’d say. You wouldn’t know anything about that, by any chance, would you?” Applejack sat down on the porch steps. “What do you mean, strange?” Rarity sucked in air through her teeth as she sat down beside her. “Well… How do I put this delicately… Sometimes, Rainbow Dash and I… have sex.” Applejack groaned. “Augh, come on Rares! I don’t want to know about that!” Rarity laughed. “What? It’s perfectly normal. Don’t you and Pinkie?” Applejack dragged her forehooves down her face in agonizing slow motion. “I’m not bothered by sex, I’m bothered by the idea of my friends having it.” Rarity sighed. “Well, then perhaps you’re in luck, because last night, Rainbow turned me down.” Applejack shut her eyes and began massaging her temples. “This conversation is not happening.” “I know sometimes, any given pony might just not be in the mood, but… This is Rainbow Dash. I’ve never dated a pony who loves sex as much as she does.” Applejack gagged. Rarity grinned. “And we’re talking about sex with me! Rarity! I don’t mean to brag, but I am quite good at it.” “Sweet Celestia, Rares, is there a point to this, or are ya just tryin’ to make me lose my breakfast? Because it’s workin’.” “The point is, Applejack, have you noticed her acting strange? Has she said anything… I don’t know, unusual to you?” Applejack shook her head. “Don’t you think you should just ask Rainbow?” Rarity sighed. “Fine. You’re right. It’s not polite to snoop around behind her back.” Applejack nodded. “So this conversation is over now, right? I can go back to my chores?” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, I won’t bother you with any more descriptions of Rainbow and I when we–” “LA LA LA,” Applejack sang, slamming her hooves over her ears as she retreated inside the farmhouse, “All I really need is a smile smile smile, fill my pony heart with sunshine, sunshine!” Rarity laughed uproariously as she trotted down the path towards town. Rarity sighed as she turned the key to open the front door of Carousel Boutique. So Rainbow had turned her down. It wasn’t a big deal. It was just an isolated incident; perhaps she really did just have a headache? She pushed open the door and stepped inside. “Hello there,” came Rainbow Dash’s voice from a few feet away. Rarity looked up from her purse to see the pegasus lying on the chaise lounge, which she had moved to be across from the door, with a rose in her mouth and half-lidded eyes. Rarity giggled. “How long have you been waiting there, darling?” Rainbow threw her neck back and groaned. “Like 3 hours!” She coughed into her hoof. “Er… I mean… No amount of time is too long to wait for you, baby,” she finished with what was doubtlessly meant to be a suave wiggle of her eyebrows. Rarity couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across her face. “Oh dear, flattery will get you everywhere.” “I know,” Rainbow said in what Rarity knew was her bedroom voice. She got up off the chaise lounge and slid over behind her, placing her forehooves on Rarity’s shoulders and rubbing in tiny circles. “What do you say we go take a… bubble bath?” Rarity fought back her laughter as best she could. Clearly Rainbow was trying to apologize, and she appreciated that, but did she not realize how ridiculous she sounded? No, of course she didn’t; Rainbow no doubt thought this was her sexiest moment in history. Rarity briefly considered telling her she’d missed her opportunity to teach her a lesson, but on the other hand… Well, she could have a lot of fun milking this for everything it was worth. It wasn’t like Rainbow would actually learn a lesson, anyway. “That sounds delightful, darling,” Rarity said with a nuzzle. “Good,” Rainbow whispered, “because I already started one.” “And did you use the rose scented bubbles you know are my favorite?” Rainbow opened her mouth and froze. “Uh… One second,” she said in her normal voice and bolted up the stairs. Rarity giggled. A few moments later Rainbow returned and resumed her lower, softer tone. “Rose scented bubbles, just for you.” “Wonderful,” Rarity cooed as she headed for the stairs. Rainbow flew a quick loop and followed right behind her. When Rarity got to the bathroom, she had to stop for a moment to take in the sight. Rainbow had arranged at least 50 candles all around the sides of the tub, and strewn a path of rose petals across the floor. “Rainbow, you’ve outdone yourself,” Rarity whispered. Rainbow buffed her hoof on her chest and snickered. “What can I say? I know how to please my lady.” Rarity turned to look at Rainbow and smirked. The pegasus beamed with pride. “So, you ready to – woah!” Rainbow yelped as Rarity grabbed her in her magic and threw her into the tub. “Hey, what’s the big i–” Rarity didn’t hear the end of Rainbow’s complaint as she was already in the tub with her, forcing her lips down onto the pegasus’ with reckless abandon. The pleasantly warm water billowed around them as they wrapped their hooves around each other, rolling about the sides of the tub and kissing furiously. Rainbow made a slight grunt as she shifted her weight behind Rarity running her hooves up and down her neck in elongated arcs. “You’re tense,” she said. Rarity giggled. “I’ve been a little stressed, my dear. Do take care of it for me?” Rainbow gave a determined smirk. “With pleasure.” Rarity shivered as Rainbow’s hooves went to work, pushing and pulling across her muscles in rhythmic fashion. She could feel the pain and toil of the day melting away as Rainbow nipped playfully at her ear, forcing an involuntary flinch. “Oh, Rainbow, you give the best massages,” Rarity whispered as she leaned back against Rainbow’s body. She could feel the pegasus’ heart beating against her spine, in perfect, hastening union with her own. “Just wait,” Rainbow cooed, and Rarity felt Rainbow’s hoof snaking down her abdomen. She gasped as the muscles tensed up at the sudden contact, and felt Rainbow’s other hoof turning her face so that their lips could meet. Rarity opened her mouth immediately, allowing Rainbow’s tongue to flick lightly inside as her hoof continued its descent. Rarity squirmed as she felt Rainbow stroking her thighs, moaning softly into the pegasus’ mouth. Rarity shivered as Rainbow broke the kiss and drew her tongue along her neck. Rainbow licked up to her ear and gave a playful bite as she finally moved her hoof to its destination. “I love you,” Rarity whispered as she melted into the contact. “I love you too,” Rainbow whispered back as she began to move her hoof faster. Rarity bit her lip as her hips spasmed. Rainbow licked the base of her ear, and she started to lose her breath. Rainbow’s hoof continued its desperate assault, and she could feel Rainbow’s hips grinding against her dock with increasing, infectious fervor. Rainbow abruptly pulled Rarity’s forehead down with her free hoof. “Rainbow, what are you–” Rarity gasped as she felt Rainbow’s tongue flick across the top of her horn. Tiny spurts of magic escaped against her will, beckoning Rainbow to continue. Rarity panted furiously as Rainbow’s tongue lapped, first gently at the tip, continuing to broader, rougher strokes around the base. “Don’t stop,” Rarity squeaked as she grabbed Rainbow’s hoof in both of her own and pressed it harder against her marehood. Rainbow’s tongue dragged all the way up her horn in one devastating lick and Rarity whinnied in ecstatic shock. When Rainbow reached the tip she swiftly brought her lips in around it, sucking it gently into her mouth. Rarity saw stars through her eyelids as the twin pleasures Rainbow offered her vied for dominance of her mind. The soft suction on her horn was unlike anything she’d ever felt; She could feel her magical energy seeping out into Rainbow’s mouth, and was powerless to stop it. She alternated tiny squeaks and ragged moans as the tension mounted in her groin and horn. It overwhelmed her mind, shutting down her senses, blocking out every thought other than those of her love for that stupid, arrogant, ridiculous pegasus, and – Rarity threw her neck back in a series of violent shakes as the pleasure overtook her, the swirling water of the tub echoing the crashing waves pulsating throughout her body. Rainbow’s hoof continued its mission as she sucked on her collarbone, guiding Rarity through the rest of her climax until she collapsed, exhausted, into her waiting arms. Rarity’s eyes fluttered open to see Rainbow smiling down at her. “How’s that for a bubble bath?” Rarity giggled. “You’re perfect,” she cooed as she nuzzled into her neck. Rarity closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath as she turned her body to face Rainbow’s, pressing her body in close and pulling her into a hearty hug. “I love you, Rainbow Dash.” “I know, you just said that,” Rainbow said with a chuckle. Rarity smiled. “Well, I can’t be faulted for repeating the truth.” The two sat in the tub in silence for a long moment, Rarity catching her breath and Rainbow happily stroking her hooves through her mane. “Alright,” Rarity said as she picked herself up and landed across the tub from Rainbow, “It’s your turn.” To Rarity’s surprise, though, Rainbow shook her head. “It’s okay, Rarity, this one’s all about you.” Rarity narrowed her gaze. “What do you mean?” Rainbow averted her gaze and rubbed her neck. “Umm… I mean, I don’t need a turn? Because… I just wanted to make you happy?” Rarity raised one eyebrow and snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, Rainbow.” Rainbow gave a nervous chuckle. “I’m not, it’s just, I felt bad for yesterday, so I wanted to make it up to–” “Rainbow Winnifred Dash,” Rarity said firmly as she stood up and loomed over the pegasus, “you are going to let me make you come, and you are going to like it.” Rainbow blinked, and a moment later her wings sprang straight out to the sides. “Okay,” she squeaked. Rarity felt the corners of her cheeks turn up without thinking about it. “That’s better,” she said as she moved across the tub, cradling Rainbow’s face in her hooves and capturing her lips in a kiss. She could feel the pegasus’ entire body trembling already. She would have allowed herself a satisfied smirk if her lips weren’t busy. Rainbow moaned softly as Rarity moved her hooves along the bones of her primaries, and Rarity had to bite back a giggle as she noticed just how rigid they had suddenly become. Rarity had to admit one of the benefits of dating a pegasus was that it was rather easy to tell how well they were responding to one’s efforts. Rarity ran her hooves through the beautiful blue feathers, gently realigning those that had gotten out of position throughout the day. Rainbow shuddered, sinking lower into the water until only her head was visible, resting against the side of the tub. Rarity planted one hoof next to her head and stroked the other down Rainbow’s chest in agonizingly slow motion. “Are you ready to begin?” Rarity cooed as she used her magic to push the bubbles to the sides of the tub. Rainbow nodded meekly, her entire frame shaking with every stroke of Rarity’s hoof. “Very well,” Rarity whispered, and brought her lips once again to her lover’s as her hoof found its mark between Rainbow’s legs. Rainbow immediately began squirming with every gentle motion of Rarity’s hoof. Rarity forced her tongue into her mouth, savoring every little twitch and moan Rainbow gave her. Her hoof steadily increased its pace, moving in measured, practiced circles against Rainbow’s nub. Where Rainbow was passion and raw, untamed feeling, Rarity was elegance and refined grace. Rainbow closed her legs around Rarity’s hoof and rocked her hips, and the unicorn chuckled. “Rainbow,” Rarity said, “let me.” She used her magic to force Rainbow’s legs apart and withdrew her hoof momentarily. Rainbow gave a high pitched whine as she reached her forehoof down, but Rarity stopped that with her magic as well and gave a short laugh. “C’mon Rarity, don’t toy with me,” Rainbow pleaded, the overwhelming need that colored her voice sending a shiver down Rarity’s spine.. Rarity nodded. “As you wish,” she said, and plunged her hoof back under the water. Rainbow moaned loudly and bit down on her hoof under Rarity’s ministrations, and Rarity felt a jolt of satisfaction with every little squeak and squeal she was able to draw out of the pegasus. Rarity had to admit it; this was her favorite part. Watching Rainbow twitch and squirm beneath her with every subtle stroke of her hoof, moaning and panting in pleasure that only Rarity could give her… It was like a drug, almost. The way she bit her lip and bucked her hips, the way she crammed her eyes shut and lost her breath, the adorable furrowing of her brow, all because of her… Rarity loved it, almost as much as she loved the daft pegasus herself. Of course, it would be impolite to simply tease the poor darling forever, no matter how much she enjoyed it. As Rainbow let out a particularly frenzied whine, Rarity cooed, “Would you like me to let you come, Rainbow?” Rainbow nodded vigorously. Rarity smirked. “Then come for me.” Rarity steadily increased the speed of her strokes until she could feel the water sloshing over the sides of the tub. Rainbow bit her hoof again and whimpered softly, rocking her hips for all she was worth. Just as Rarity could feel the burning in her hoof start to slow her down, Rainbow seized up and let out a feral cry, her body quaking. Rarity felt her heart overflowing as she watched her marefriend riding out her climax, gently slowing down until finally she laid still. “Rarity,” Rainbow panted as she laid against the side of the tub, “you’re amazing.” “I know,” Rarity chirped happily as she threw her forelegs around Rainbow and squeezed her tight. “So… Does this mean you forgive me for last night, then?” Rainbow asked quietly. Rarity tapped a hoof to her chin. “Hmmmm… I don’t know.” “Aww, come on!” Rainbow protested. “Please?” Rarity laughed. “Of course I forgive you, Rainbow.” Rainbow gave a relieved sigh. “Good, ‘cause I don’t think I have the energy to do that again.” Rarity let herself sink down to her shoulders and stretched her legs. “Oh, I very much doubt that.” Rainbow looked back at her and arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Rarity shrugged. “If I really wanted to, I could easily get another orgasm out of you.” Rainbow blinked, and a moment later her wings sprung out to the sides. Not a Euphamism.Sweet Apple Acres’ barn stood in a state of perpetual decay, which Rainbow Dash had to admit didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It seemed like half of what Applejack did on the farm was fix the barn, and yet it never seemed to get… well… fixed. And if she wasn’t fixing the barn, she was declaring it so decrepit and unsalvageable that the whole thing had to be torn down and have a new one built in its place. And yet, for the seemingly monthly barn-raisings Applejack had, the next Rainbow knew she’d be back to hearing about how the wood was cracking, and the roof was leaking, and the paint was peeling and… But that wasn’t the point. The point was, every time a new barn went up, there was always a good three to four week window before the renovations started up that Applejack would be out doing other chores, like… Umm… Bucking apples? Actually, Rainbow wasn’t entirely sure what else Applejack did when not renovating the barn or harvesting her crop… But whatever, she’d be elsewhere, leaving the barn more or less completely unoccupied. That made it the perfect place for her and Pinkie Pie to enjoy some of their more illicit passions. “Dashie,” Pinkie’s voice sounded from the rafters as she closed the barn door, “up here!” Rainbow felt a devious grin creep across her face as she scampered up the ladder, spotting Pinkie reclining against a hay bale in the corner. Giggling excitedly, she crept up to her friend and sat across from her. “Did you bring the stuff?” Pinkie nodded, quickly pulling a brownie out of her hair. Dash raised an eyebrow. “You made brownies?” “Yep!” “Oh. I mean, I thought we were gonna smoke, but I guess edibles are fine. Just… takes longer.” Pinkie shook her head. “Oh. No, no no no, this brownie isn’t for eating.” Rainbow frowned. “What do you mean? What are we gonna do with brownies if we don’t eat them?” Rather than answering directly, Pinkie took a small plastic bag full of small green buds out of her mane and opened it. The powerful scent felt like a smack across Dash’s nose; Pinkie always had the best stuff. Pinkie took a few of the buds out of the bag and stuffed them into the top of the brownie, then materialized a lighter from… somewhere, and held the brownie up to her lips. She closed her eyes and lit the flame, sucking against the brownie as the marijuana ignited before coughing gently and offering it to Rainbow. Rainbow slowly closed her slackened jaw. “... We’re going to smoke out of a brownie?” Pinkie giggled, eliciting another cough. “Don’t be ridiculous, Dashie. We’re going to smoke out of the bong I built inside the brownie.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Of course. How silly of me.” Pinkie pushed the brownie and lighter into Rainbow’s hooves and leaned back against the hay bale. “It’s okay, Dashie, you’re allowed to be silly sometimes. Now smoke up!” Rainbow held the brownie up to her nose, eyeing the sides carefully. “So… Is there like, a shotgun or something, or…?” “Less thinky, more puffy.” At some point, acceptance was the only course of action. Pressing the brownie to her lips and inhaling, Rainbow ignited the lighter. She felt it immediately, the warm, prickly feeling invading her forehead like a swift kick to the face. She blinked rapidly as she held the smoke in her lungs, letting it spread inside her before letting it out in a slow leak. As her lungs emptied out she coughed into her hoof and passed the brownie back to Pinkie on her wing, resting her head against the hay bale. Rainbow closed her eyes, listening the to the soft crackling of the embers as Pinkie took another hit. The warm tingling crept its way across her brain, heading slowly down her spine and into her extremities. Pinkie coughed again and Rainbow felt the brownie land on her stomach. Without looking she pressed it to her muzzle and inhaled, another salvo of smoke filling her lungs from the still-lit embers. A powerful scratching made itself known at the back of her throat and she coughed harshly; Time to stop. Rainbow smiled to herself, letting her head sink into the hay, doing her best to smooth out the poky straws with her neck. “You’re not done already, are you Dashie?” Rainbow felt a distant laughter escape her throat. “I got stuff to do today, Pinks… Eventually.” She heard some rummaging sounds come from Pinkie’s side of the loft, and a murmured comment about being a lightweight, which she would have objected to if she didn’t feel quite so fantastic at the moment. “You got any snacks?” “I’ve got a bag of marshmallows ‘round here somewhere, gimme a sec…” Rainbow licked her lips, immediately noticing just how fuzzy her tongue felt all of a sudden. “I like marshmallows…” Right on cue a bag of the fluffy white treats appeared next to her. She pawed at it shakily, pulling one out and stuffing it into her mouth. “I luff marfmallowz,” she moaned softly through the gooey sugar. Pinkie giggled, and Rainbow heard the flint of the lighter clicking again, followed by a sharp hacking. “Speaking of marshmallows, how’s Rarity?” Rainbow rolled onto her side, letting her forelegs dangle in the air in front of her and laughing softly. “She’s not a marshmallow, she’s a unicorn…” Rainbow let her eyes drift closed and smiled as she thought about her girlfriend. “And how is that unicorn?” Rainbow could hear Pinkie’s grin. Rainbow giggled and fell off the haybale. “She’s sexy.” Rainbow heard Pinkie snort and started laughing along with her. “Oh, okay.” Rainbow frowned at that, as best as she could while laughing. “Whaddaya mean?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow at her. “What?” “You don’t think my girlfriend is sexy?” Rainbow glared. Pinkie shook her head. “I didn’t say that.” “So you do think my girlfriend is sexy?” Pinkie paused for a moment, looking at her hoof. “Uh… Yeah? I guess?” Rainbow leapt up and jutted a hoof out at Pinkie. Unable to balance the sudden movement, she fell flat on her face, but chose not to let that disrupt her train of thought. “Well, mitts off, she’s mine!” Pinkie started giggling again, and Rainbow couldn’t help but start again too. “Besides, you got… Umm… Applebutt.” Pinkie fell to the floor next to Rainbow, clutching her sides and rolling about in the hay. “You mean Applejack?” Rainbow blew her bangs out of her eyes and snickered. “Right. Applejack.” “Yep,” Pinkie wheezed between convulsions, “and she’s the best.” Rainbow rolled onto her back, her forehead coming to rest against Pinkie’s, the pressure on her neck oddly comfortable. Straining her eyes to look up, she saw her giant, sparkling blue eyes staring back at her. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, Dashie?” Pinkie whispered. “I’m so high,” Rainbow whispered back. “Me too.” Rainbow nearly started giggling again, but she heard something. It was a sort of wooden sound, or maybe metal, or maybe both, with some clicking and some creaking and– Rainbow gasped as she realized it was the barn door opening. “Pinkie! Somepony’s coming,” she whispered fervently, crawling over to the edge of the loft. She saw a blur of browns and light browns and lighter browns before she realized that was because her head was wobbling about and steadied it with her hooves. She saw Applejack turning around and closing the barn door behind her, then toward the ladder. But that didn’t make any sense! It couldn’t have been time to tear down this barn already, she’d just finished raising it like, a few days ago! Rainbow glanced back to Pinkie, who stubbornly refused to do anything but roll about in the hay and giggle. “Quiet, you’re gonna blow our cover!” Pinkie didn’t listen though. Panic setting in, Rainbow dove down into the straw and pulled all the loose bundles around her, until she was completely hidden. At least she’d be spared Applejack’s wrath, even if it meant Pinkie had to take the brunt of it. “Hey, Pinks,” Rainbow heard Applejack’s voice as she got to the top of the ladder. Any moment she’d explode, she knew it. She must’ve been suppressing her anger; There was no way she hadn’t noticed the smell the moment she entered the barn. At least Rainbow could give Pinkie the bitchingest obituary ever. It’d be, like, Pinkie Pie. She was Pink. Or something like that. The beginning was good, at least. “Hey AJ, what’s up?” Pinkie chirped. Rainbow heard Applejack sitting down and opened her eyes to see her snuggling up next to Pinkie. “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.” Rainbow flinched. Any second now… “... RD? Why’re you covered in straw? Or like… Kinda half-covered? Your mane and tail’re stickin’ out.” Rainbow felt her neck hair stand on end. She’d been spotted! Now she’d have to write an obituary for herself, too! And it’d be like… “Rainbow Dash. She was blue, mostly.” That wasn’t nearly as good as the one she’d come up with for Pinkie. Pinkie just giggled more, but Rainbow didn’t plan on dying today; Thinking quickly, she came up with a cover. “I’m not Rainbow,” she said slowly, dragging out the vowels, “I’m… a haaaaaay ghooooooost!” Pinkie lost it, and Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh no, not a hay ghost! Whatever will I do?” Sensing an opportunity, Rainbow raised up onto her haunches and waved her hooves forebodingly. “Run awaaaaaaaaaaay! And then bring back some snaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks, and leave them by the laaaaaaaaddeeeeeer!” Applejack turned to Pinkie and kissed her on the cheek. “Guess I’ll be right back, then.” “With snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!” “Right, with snacks.” Applejack chuckled, descending the ladder. Rainbow shook the hay off and watched her go, wiping the sweat from her brow when she closed the door. “Phew, that was close.” “She knows, Dashie.” Rainbow flopped onto her back and smiled. “Knows what? To get snacks for the hungry ghost?” Pinkie laughed and shook her head. “Noooooooo, she knows we’re high.” Rainbow’s eyes shot open as she righted herself, pushing her snout up against Pinkie’s. “What!? How!?” “She’s not blind?” Pinkie said, booping Rainbow’s nose. “But… But I was so convincing! There’s no way she knows.” Pinkie giggled again. “You were pretty convincing.” Rainbow frowned and sat back on her haunches, crossing her forelegs in front of her. “Whatever. We’ll just ask her when she gets back with our snacks.” Pinkie had the gall to laugh more at this. “But, but– but then she’ll definitely know!” She cried, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Rainbow cocked her head, surprised to find it had at some point migrated to the floor. “What do you mean?” Pinkie writhed among the hay, snorting and giggling and letting out half-words whenever she could, but failing to put together any string of intelligible syllables. Rainbow sprawled out across the hay, bumping the bag of marshmallows with her wing. She pulled it over and pushed a few of them into her mouth. “‘ey, Pinksch… Can I aschk you schomethin’?” Pinkie nodded invertedly. Rainbow swallowed before continuing. “Umm… I need some advice. But you can’t tell anypony. Okay?” Pinkie nodded again. Rainbow pawed at some of the hay. “Umm… And, if I say anything too embarrassing or weird… It’s the pot talking, and it’s definitely not true.” “Okie dokie,” Pinkie said. Rainbow stretched her neck. “Well… See, uh, sometimes, me and Rares… Uh… Have sex.” Pinkie gasped. “No way!” “... Right. And, don’t get me wrong, I–” “Wait!” Pinkie shouted, rolling onto her stomach and cocking her head. “Was that the pot talking?” Rainbow shook her head. “No.” “Oh okay. Continue.” Rainbow took a deep breath and pressed on. “Yeah, so like I was saying, I–” “WAIT!” Pinkie shouted again, jumping up to her hooves. “Was that the pot talking!?” Rainbow smacked her hoof into her forehead. “Forget that part! All of what I’m about to say is true!” Pinkie narrowed her gaze for a moment as she sat back down. “... Okay.” Rainbow sighed. “Okay, so… Uh… For my birthday, Rarity said she had a special surprise for me, right? And I was like, ‘cool, I love surprises,’ so I was all, ‘Bring it on,’ right? So then, uh… Well, remember that time Rarity got captured by the Nightmare spirits from the moon?” “Mmhmm.” “... Well… Umm… So, Rarity was like… really hot when she was like… possessed. Right?” Pinkie giggled. “I guess.” Rainbow could feel her cheeks burning red as she giggled despite herself. “Stop laughing, this is serious! I might have told her, at some point, that I thought it was a good look. And… I guess she read into that a little bit. So… Uh… For my birthday, we… Uhh… Well…” Rainbow’s stammering stopped abruptly as she felt Pinkie’s hoof touching her own. She looked up to see Pinkie smiling softly at her. “It’s okay, Dashie. You can tell me. Or, if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to.” Rainbow closed her eyes as she drew a deep breath. She’d come this far… “Wehadroleplaysexanditwasawesome.” Pinkie squeezed Rainbow’s hoof gently. “That sounds fun.” Rainbow opened one eye. “So… Uh… You’re not, like… weirded out?” Pinkie laughed. “Are you kidding? That’s like, nothing. But what’s the advice for?” Rainbow scratched her neck with her free hoof, squeezing Pinkie’s back with the other. “Well… It was like, really, really great. And… I really kinda wanna do it again? But I don’t know how to tell Rarity.” Pinkie nodded as she raised a hoof to her chin. “I see. … Why don’t you just ask?” “But,” Rainbow interrupted herself with a cough, “but I don’t want to pressure her, you know? I mean, what if it was just a one time thing? Or what if she didn’t like it as much as I did? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable just for my sake… And like, I like normal sex with her just fine, right? I mean… She’s Rarity. She’s, like, really good at it. Or, what if she thinks it’s weird that I liked it so much? What if she doesn’t think I’m cool anymore?” Rainbow watched Pinkie think for what seemed like ages before she finally cleared her throat. “... Any ideas?” Pinkie blinked and shook her head. “Huh? Ideas about what?” Rainbow gave a nervous laugh. “… I don’t remember.” “... Oops?” Rainbow pushed another marshmallow into her mouth. “Whadever. Probably washn’d impordand.” Rainbow turned to look as she heard the barn door opening again, spotting Applejack walking in with two saddlebags stuffed full of what could only be delicious snacks. “Sorry that took so long,” Applejack said as she reached the top of the ladder. “Had to come up with an excuse for why I was gettin’ all this food so Granny wouldn’t know you two’re smokin’ in the barn again.” “Told you she knew,” Pinkie said, already digging through one of the saddlebags. “And you didn’t say anything?” Rainbow asked. Applejack rolled her eyes as she picked up the brownie and flicked the lighter. “Why would I care?” Rainbow felt her entire understanding of the universe collapse as she watched Applejack take a hit from the brownie. She’d seen a lot of strange things in her life – She was friends with Pinkie Pie, after all – but none compared to this moment. “AJ… You… you smoke?” Applejack coughed and nodded as she passed the brownie over to Pinkie. “When I feel like it. I think this one’s kicked, Pinks.” Pinkie looked up from an empty pie dish and started packing it again. Rainbow scratched her chin as she chewed on a candy bar. She’d never taken Applejack for the stoner type. If she was cool with it, Rarity would almost have to be. She could barely contain her giggles as she imagined what Rarity would be like high. She’d be all woobly, and make faces, and totally silly, and… It might even affect her magic. Rainbow’d never seen a unicorn high before, so she didn’t know for sure, but that seemed like the kind of thing that made sense, didn’t it? “Hey, if a unicorn gets high, does it mess with her magic?” When nopony answered her, she looked over and saw a mess of pink and orange and blonde rolling around in the hay together, giggling and apparently trying to eat each other’s mouths. “Hey, that’s not fair! You can’t just make out in front of me!” Rainbow scowled. Pinkie rolled off of Applejack, now wearing her hat. “Sorry, Dashie.” “Sorry,” Applejack echoed, melting into the hay. Rainbow sighed. “Whatever… I should get going, anyway.” “Wait!” Pinkie cried, popping up to her hooves. “Don’t you wanna stay just a liiiiiiiiittle longer?” Rainbow stretched her wings as she got to her hooves. “And do what? Watch you two make out?” Pinkie rummaged through the hay and pulled out a long cardboard box. “How about a quick game of Risk?” “Risk? That’s, like, the longest game, Pinks.” “But I already set up the whole board!” Rainbow rubbed her eyes and looked again. Indeed, she had. “... No.” “I’ll give you Kamchatka!” Pinkie slid over to Rainbow’s hooves and looked up at her with big, watery eyes. Rainbow clenched her teeth. She did love Kamchatka… “... Fine…” Applejack snorted. “I guess you’re just scared I’m gonna crush you, huh?” “... What? I just agreed to play.” “... You did?” “Yeah.” “Yep, she did, AJ.” “Oh... Sorry.” And then they played Risk.
HonestyThis was not cool. “... and you can see from the high pressure front they lost down in Phillydelphia, if it moves up this way…” But it was cool, was the thing. It was more cool than Rainbow Dash could even believe was possible. “... if it goes unchecked, it’s going to mess up the weather for the entire season. So…” For Dash it was, at least. But there was no way anypony else would see it that way. “... need to form an organized response team and execute the plan without error…” What if Applejack found out? Dash could just picture the ribbing she’d get. That stupid apple farmer would never let her hear the end of it! “... So, if we deploy the bravo team to quadrant 4, and the charlie team to quadrant 6...” ’You let Rarity do what to you!?’ she’d laugh. Oh man Rainbow, you gonna tell me you started playin’ with lil’ dollies next!?’ “... should be enough to stop that first wave of...” And what about her other friends? They’d never think she was cool again! “... Rainbow Dash?” But it was so sexy. Sweet Celestia, Rainbow couldn’t even remember the last time she’d gotten off that hard. “... Rainbow Dash…?” Could she even admit it to Rarity? What would she even say? ’Hey Rares, remember that time you pretended to be your Nightmare self, chained me to the bed and had your way with me while I was completely helpless to stop you? That was totally hot. Wanna do it again?’ “Rainbow Dash!” “Gah!” Rainbow yelped as she snapped her pencil between her hooves and looked up at her surroundings. Cloud Kicker, Blossomforth, Thunderlane, Snowflake, and Ditzy Doo all stared at her. “What? What is it?” Rainbow asked hurriedly. “Did you want to say something?” Cloud Kicker asked from the chalkboard. “Uh… No?” Rainbow said, quirking an eyebrow. “Oh,” Cloud Kicker said slowly. “Then… why’d you flare your wings?” Rainbow’s eyes widened as she glanced to her sides. Sure enough, her wings were standing to attention, and she hadn’t even noticed. “No reason,” She said flatly as she began forcing her wings back down to her sides, hoping that nopony would notice the sudden red glow of her cheeks. “Are you feeling alright, Rainbow? I mean, I know you said you were a little distracted earlier, which is why you wanted me to give the presentation, but–” “I’m totally fine!” Rainbow interrupted with indignation. “I’m just… Uh… Hungry. Is it time for lunch yet?” “Rainbow, it’s only 8:30. We just started the meeting,” Cloud Kicker said flatly. “Heh… Right. I, uh… Skipped breakfast. Again,” Rainbow said with a sheepish grin. The other five ponies stared at her for a long moment before Cloud Kicker finally coughed into her hoof. “Okay. Well, I guess you already know what’s going on since you wrote the briefing. If you want to go get some breakfast, I’m not gonna–” “Kaythanksbye!” Rainbow shouted as she rocketed out of her chair, straight through the open window and into the skies of Ponyville. “–stop you,” Cloud Kicker finished. She looked quickly at her remaining compatriots with an awkward frown. Thunderlane gave her a shrug, and she sighed. “Okay, so, moving on…” “Come on, Rainbow, that was so uncool!” Rainbow chastised herself as she flew towards Carousel Boutique, repeatedly rapping her hooves against her skull. How many times am I going to let this happen? she thought as she landed at the front door. I just gotta say it, right? Just walk up to Rarity and say, ‘Hey, we should do it again.’ Piece of cake. The door pushed open easily and Rainbow strode inside. “Rainbow? Is that you?” Rarity’s voice called from upstairs. Rainbow swallowed hard. Piece of cake. Applejack smiled to herself as she stared at the ceiling. It was well past 8am now, judging by the angle of the sunlight flooding her room, but she didn’t care. It was Friday, and she’d worked hard all week, and it wasn’t Apple Buck season anyway; It didn’t exactly matter if the fence got mended at 6:30 or 8:30. With a contented sigh, Applejack looked to the pony still sleeping beside her. The mess of pink curls atop her head obscured her face from view, so she moved them to the side with a hoof. “Pinkie, I gotta get up now,” she said softly. “Mmm, five more minutes,” Pinkie whispered back as she wrapped her hooves around AJ’s neck and pulled her into a tight hug. Applejack chuckled as she attempted to gently wriggle free from her lover’s embrace. “We had five more minutes already, sugarcube. In fact, we’ve had at least 10 ‘five more minutes’es.” “Well, I want five more,” Pinkie said, her grip tightening all the more Applejack struggled. “Ya can’t always get what ya want, Pinks.” Applejack placed a small kiss on Pinkie’s forehead. “But I’ll be around later. Anyway, don’t you gotta get back to Sugarcube Corner? I thought you said you were workin’ today.” Pinkie finally opened her eyes and sat up, withdrawing her hooves abruptly and crossing them in front of her chest. “Fine, fine,” she said with an adorable, exaggerated pout. Applejack gave her a quick nuzzle before rolling out of the bed and stepping over to her dresser to run a comb through her mane. “I already overslept by two hours.” “Why do you have to get up so early anyway? Wouldn’t you rather stay here with me?” “A’course I’d rather stay here with you, but s’part of runnin’ a farm, hun. Didn’t you have to get up early back on the rock farm?” Pinkie shrugged. “Not really. I mean, they’re rocks; They’re still gonna be there whether you water them in the morning or afternoon.” Applejack looked back to Pinkie with a raised eyebrow. “You… watered the rocks?” “Duh!” Pinkie laughed. “How else are they gonna grow up into big, strong boulders full of shiny gems?” Applejack cocked her head while she tried to decide if Pinkie was messing with her or not. Pinkie giggled when she didn’t say anything and followed her over to the dresser, rearing up to drape her hooves across the other mare’s back. “You know,” Pinkie whispered into Applejack’s ear, “Sometimes I think I should just tie you to the bed. Then you couldn’t go work, even if you wanted to.” Applejack felt a shiver run down her spine as Pinkie’s breath played across her neck. What did she just say? “... And you wouldn’t want to,” Pinkie cooed. “I, uh, uh, how’sabout I come’n see ya ‘round lunchtime?” Applejack quickly changed the subject, turning her face away to hide the growing blush in her cheeks. “Would that make ya feel better?” “Aww, alriiiiiight,” Pinkie groaned, tilting her head back and looking exasperated. “I’ll see you then!” she chirped, quickly bouncing out of the room. Applejack fell to her haunches and wiped her brow with a hoof. Land’s sake did she not want to go work right now. “Hey, uh, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said as she pushed the bedroom door open. “Just a minute, darling, I’m about to get in the shower,” Rarity called back from behind the closed door of the adjoining bathroom. Rainbow sucked in air around her teeth. ‘Just a minute,’ when it came from Rarity and involved any sort of beautification ritual, typically meant more like ‘just an hour,’ at least. Rainbow cleared her throat. “Could I talk to you for a minute first?” “Can’t it wait?” “It’s kinda important,” Rainbow said, tapping her hoof lightly on the plush carpet. “Alright, one moment,” Rarity called back. Rainbow heard Rarity’s hoofsteps cross over to the door and a moment later she appeared in the doorway. Rainbow’s heart skipped a beat as she saw her marefriend’s smile, her beautiful blue eyes fluttering, her soft white coat shimmering in the sunlight... “Well? Whatever is the matter, dear?” Rarity asked from the doorway. Rainbow shook her head. Just say it, Dash, she thought as she braced herself. Her perfectly curved flank just barely concealed by the pink, fluffy bathrobe… “... How’re the dresses?” she heard herself say. Dammit! Rarity gave Rainbow an appraising look for a few moments before rolling her eyes and closing the bathroom door once more. Dammit dammit dammit! Rainbow tossed her neck back in frustration. The familiar hiss of the shower head sprang to life and she knew the opportunity was lost. It would be at least an hour before she saw Rarity again. “What is wrong with me?” She asked herself as she turned toward the hallway and headed downstairs. It took less than a minute to find the box of oats in Rarity’s kitchen. Helping herself to a large bowl, she sat down at the table and pouted as she ate. ”Mao.” Rainbow sat up abruptly and turned. “Oh, hey Opal.” ”Mao,” Opal said as she hopped up onto the table, purring softly. “Don’t get your hair in my bowl,” Dash said as she eyed the cat warily. Opal sat back on her haunches and raised a paw as if to say, ”Who, me?” Dash turned back to her bowl. Opal immediately slid over to her, rubbing her tail under Dash’s chin as she passed by and leaving her scraping hair off her tongue that should never have been able to get there in the first place. “Gakk!! Kpphth, gross!” Rainbow coughed. “What’s the big idea, cat?” ”Mao,” Opal replied. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’ve got my own problems to deal with, so… skedaddle, okay?” ”Mao,” Opal said as she sat down. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” Rainbow groused as she stabbed at her oats with her spoon. Opal licked her paw. “Look, even if I told you, you wouldn’t have any relevant advice anyway, so could we drop it? Please?” ’Mao.” “I’ve gotta get back to work,” Rainbow held her head in her hooves and sighed. ”Mao.” Opal seemed to shrug as she leapt off the table. Rainbow watched her walk out of the kitchen and turned back to her oats. She shook her head. This was going to be a long day. The bell above the front door of Sugarcube Corner rang as Applejack walked inside, a smattering of friendly smiles greeting her from the ponies getting lunch. She waved politely as she scanned the room for her marefriend, until she was bowled over by a force from behind. “Hi Applejack!” Pinkie’s bright voice chimed, and Applejack chuckled as she bent her neck up to kiss the other mare on the cheek. “Hey, Pinkie,” she said. “Are you hungry?” Pinkie asked as she helped Applejack back to her hooves. “I just finished a batch of apple cinnamon muffins, and they’re really cinnamony and appley and muffiny and–” “Sounds delicious,” Applejack said with a nod. To Applejack’s surpise, Pinkie sighed. “Not as delicious as the real thing, though…” Applejack cocked her head. “Whaddaya mean? Ya didn’t use real apples? Is there even such a thing as fake apples?” Pinkie giggled and shook her head before leaning in close and whispering, “No silly, not as delicious as you.” Applejack’s face flushed instantly, eliciting another giggle from Pinkie as she hopped into the kitchen. “Anyway, one apple cinnamon muffin comin’ right up!” What has gotten into her? Applejack thought as she wobbled her way over to a booth and took a seat. She shook her head, hoping to dispel some of her blushing before anypony noticed. “Here ya go!” Pinkie chirped as she set the muffin down in front of AJ, taking the seat across from her and smiling brightly. “Thanks, Pinkie,” Applejack said as she took a bite of the muffin. It was delicious. “So how was your morning?” Pinkie asked. “Fine,” Applejack said through a mouthful of muffin. She swallowed and wiped her mouth with a hoof. “Didn’t take too long to get the fence mended, and I was able to get a jump on sortin’ out the baskets, too. I’d say we’re a mite ahead of sched–ULE!” Applejack squeaked as she felt Pinkie’s hoof run along the inside of her thigh. “Pinkie!” She whispered harshly. “We’re in public!” “So?” Pinkie whispered back, eyes half lidded. Applejack shifted backwards on her seat as she felt Pinkie’s hoof begin another pass. “Somepony might see us!” “Duh?” Pinkie giggled. “That’s what makes it so hot.” Applejack frowned. “Well, I don’t think it is so hot.” “Really? Because your cheeks tell a different story,” Pinkie mused. “I–” Applejack whinnied in surprise as she felt Pinkie’s hoof touch her cutiemark. “Pinkie, stop it, or I’m just gonna go!” Pinkie rolled her eyes and sighed. “I was only teasing.” “Thank you,” Applejack said as she took another bite of muffin. “I should get back to work, anyway,” Pinkie said as she got up from the table. “If you’re ahead of schedule, do you wanna come over later and watch a movie? Or maybe write a song, or play a board game? Or we could bake, or plan a party, or invent a language, or–” “Yeah, sure,” Applejack interrupted. “I think Rainbow wanted to play horseshoes later, but I could come by after.” “Great! I’ll see you then,” Pinkie said, kissing Applejack’s cheek and swiftly bouncing back to the kitchen. Applejack sighed and leaned back in her seat. Rainbow Dash dragged her hoof across the dirt and leaned forward, the metallic tang of the horseshoe spreading through her mouth. She was one with the horseshoe. The horseshoe was an extension of her mouth. Lean and throw. Lean and– “... and the galas are lookin’ really red this year, which bodes well for–” Rainbow lost her balance and the horseshoe toppled out of her mouth, falling flat in the dirt in front of her. “Augh! Come on AJ, I’m trying to throw, here!” Rainbow snapped. “You’re the one who asked how I was,” Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. “Well yeah, ‘cause I thought you’d say like, ‘I’m great, thanks,’ or something,” Rainbow said. Applejack paused. “You feelin’ alright, RD? You seem stressed.” “I’m fine,” Rainbow grumbled, kicking the horseshoe away and sitting down on the ground. This was all Rarity’s fault. She couldn’t even throw horseshoes anymore without Rarity messing it all up. “... Wanna talk about it?” Applejack’s voice came quietly. Rainbow sighed. “... Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just play.” Rainbow heard Applejack’s hoofsteps behind her coming closer, and suddenly she was sitting next to her. “You can’t fool me, Rainbow. I know when somethin’s botherin’ ya. I just wanna help.” Rainbow looked up to see Applejack’s friendly smile. “You’ll make fun of me.” Applejack shook her head. “No, I won’t.” Rainbow chewed on her cheek for a moment. “... You promise?” Applejack waved her hoof around and placed it over her eye. “I Pinkie Promise.” Rainbow held her breath as she gathered her thoughts. Stupid, sexy Rarity. “Umm… Okay, this is… really awkward. But… Uhh… It has to do with Rarity.” Applejack chuckled. “Uh oh. What’d she do this time?” ’Say it. Say the name of the mare you can’t resist.’ “You said you wouldn’t make fun,” Rainbow said with a glare. Applejack straightened her face and coughed into a hoof. “Sorry, RD. Go on.” “Well… See, on my birthday, she… gave me a present.” “Ya didn’t like it?” ’Say my name.’ Rainbow shivered. “No, it was great. Really great. I loved it.” Applejack narrowed her eyes. “So… what’s the problem?” Rainbow tugged at her mane. “It was too good!” “So, Rarity got you a gift, and you liked it too much?” “Exactly!” Rainbow said with a satisfied smile. “I hate ta sound like I’m repeatin’ myself, but why is that a bad thing? Did you lose it or somethin’?” Rainbow exhaled. “No, it was like… a one time thing.” “Any chance you could be a little more specific? I’m tryin’ to help here, but you’re not givin’ me much to go on.” Rainbow rubbed her neck. This wasn’t working. Maybe she should just start with a little truth, and it would flow from there? “Uh… Sometimes, me and Rarity have sex.” Applejack leaned back and closed her eyes. “Aww jeez, Rainbow, I don’t wanna know about that.” “You said you wanted to help!” Rainbow retorted as she shot to her hooves. “Besides, we talk about sex all the time.” “Sure, as a concept, but I don’t wanna picture, like, you an’ Rares… goin’ at it.” Applejack stuck out her tongue. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Come on, like you and Pinks’ve never done it.” Applejack pulled the brim of her hat down to hide her reddening cheeks. “I didn’t say that.” “So, you ready to help me now?” Applejack sighed and pushed her hat back up. “Fine. Sometimes you and Rarity… hvsx.” Rainbow snickered. “So what’s that got to do with your birthday present?” Rainbow stopped snickering and pawed at the ground. “Well… Uh…” “Oh, Celestia,” Applejack wretched, “Don’t tell me you two did somethin’ weird.” “It wasn’t weird, it was awesome!” Rainbow barked before realizing what she’d done. “Uh… I mean… Ah, ponyfeathers…” “So that was your present? Some freaky sex stuff?” Rainbow shook her head. “Nevermind, this was a mistake. I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Rainbow was just about to take off and fly away when she felt Applejack’s hoof on her back. “Wait, RD. It’s okay. I get it.” Rainbow turned back to look at Applejack again, who started tapping her hooves together. “I can’t say I really wanna know what it is you and Rarity get up to, but… I understand. Sometimes, Pinkie says things that… Well, I think she just says ‘em ‘cos she likes seein’ me flustered, yanno? But… Sometimes, I… I kinda wish she’d follow through.” Rainbow folded her wings and sat back down, Applejack immediately following suit. “I know it’s awkward, but you should probably just tell Rarity you wanna do it again. Right? She loves you, and… If she loved you enough to do it before, then why wouldn’t she do it again?” The two mares stared off into space for several long seconds as the breeze played with their manes. “This is the most awkward conversation we’ve ever had,” Rainbow mumbled. “Eeeyup.” Applejack nodded. “We should never do this again.” “Eeenope.” Applejack shook her head. “Good talk,” Rainbow said, and launched herself into the air.
Laughter“I’m home,” Rainbow Dash called as she pushed open the door to Carousel Boutique and tromped inside, collapsing on Rarity’s chaise lounge with a sigh. “Welcome back, Dashie Dearest,” Rarity’s voice called back from the kitchen. “I was just making some tea, would you like any?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You know I don’t drink tea,” she called back. “One of these days I’ll get you to try it, and you’ll see it’s not so bad.” “Yeah, sure,” Rainbow muttered as she rolled onto her side and pulled a pillow over her face. “How was horseshoes with Applejack?” Rarity asked as she entered the room, floating her teapot onto the nearby coffee table and sitting in her recliner. “Fine,” Rainbow said from beneath the pillow. Rainbow took a deep breath as she waited for Rarity to scold her for misusing her pillow, but to her surprise she heard nothing. Instead, she felt Rarity’s hoof gently stroking a small circle at the base of her wings. “I missed you, Rainbow,” she said softly. Rainbow moved the pillow off her head to look back at Rarity, who gave her a coy smirk and fluttered her eyelashes. “I missed you too,” Rainbow said back. Rarity pressed her lips against Rainbow’s, and for a moment she was lost in the pleasant softness. “Why don’t I go start us a bubblebath?” Rarity whispered. Rainbow exhaled hard and pulled the pillow back over her head. “That’s okay, I’m good.” “Come now, it’ll be nice. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll even give you a wing massage,” Rarity said, dragging her hooves along the bone of Rainbow’s right primary. Rainbow twitched her wing. She could already predict the whole evening ahead of her. They’d get in the bath, Rarity would be all coy for a bit, then she’d gently stroke her wings and pepper her with tiny kisses, and by the fifth minute she’d be half way asleep. Boring. Nice, but boring. “I have a headache,” Rainbow mumbled and forced her body further into the cushions of the chaise lounge. Rarity’s hoof pulled back and she waited in silence for her to say something. “Oh… Okay,” Rarity finally said. Rainbow listened as Rarity’s hoofsteps retreated back to her recliner and bit her lip. Her stomach churned unpleasantly. “I’m sorry, Rares. It’s just been a long day. Rain check, alright?” Rarity nodded. “Sure,” she said as she sipped her tea. “Thanks for understanding,” Rainbow said as she got off the chaise lounge and kissed Rarity on the cheek. “I’m just gonna go hit the hay.” Rarity smiled gently. “Okay. Good night, darling.” Pinkie Pie giggled as she moved her rook past Go for the third time in the turn. “... And that means I get to put hotels on Candy Cane Forest! King me!” Applejack closed her eyes and exhaled. “This is why yer supposed to go to jail when you roll doubles three times in a row, to prevent shenanigans like these.” Pinkie Pie blew a raspberry in response. “Jail’s no fun.” Applejack surveyed the assorted game boards and looked back to her scratch pad. Hotels on Candy Cane Forest would mean she could move her Queen to the other side of the checkers board, which in turn meant she’d get to assemble the last piece of the Mouse Trap. If she triggered the Mouse Trap and it didn’t outright fail, she’d get to drop another coin in the Connect Four board, and… The writing on the wall was clear as day. Pinkie Pie had won this round of Monopocheckesslandtrapfour. “Well, looks like you won,” Applejack said, tipping her hat. “Well played, sugar.” “You’re giving up?” Pinkie asked, pouting out her lower lip. “Uh… Yeah?” Applejack said. “... Okay! What do you want to do next?” Pinkie asked, her bright smile already back. Applejack tapped her hoof to her chin. “Actually, I can think of a few things…” “Yeah?” Pinkie chirped, hopping up onto her hooves. Applejack felt her heart flutter as a heat rose in her cheeks. Just follow yer own advice, Sugarcube… “Uh… Earlier, you said somethin’ about–” “Inventing a language?” Pinkie interrupted her. “... No,” Applejack shook her head. “Not that. See, sometimes you say things, and I’m not entirely sure how to take them. And, I really love you–” “Aww, I love you too, AJ!” Pinkie interrupted again, this time launching herself across the gameboards to tackle Applejack to the ground. Applejack giggled as Pinkie loomed over her. “I know ya do. But like I was sayin’, uh, earlier, you–” Applejack suddenly felt Pinkie’s lips upon hers, eliciting a surprised squeak. When Pinkie released the kiss, Applejack chuckled nervously. “You’re not gonna let me finish, are ya?” Pinkie giggled, then gave Applejack a half-lidded stare. “Sorry, you’re really cute when you’re underneath me.” “See!” Applejack pointed an accusatory hoof at Pinkie. “Stuff like that! You say stuff, and I don’t know what it means. Earlier, you said you wanted to tie me to the bed!” Pinkie cocked her head. “What? I was just teasing.” Applejack exhaled and rubbed her neck. “So… that’s all it is? Just… teasing?” Pinkie Pie reared back onto her haunches and narrowed her gaze. “Do you… want me to tie you to the bed?” Applejack could feel her cheeks burning as her stomach did a cartwheel. “... Maybe?” Pinkie giggled. “I can do that! Give me your hooves.” Applejack pushed herself up onto her elbows and raised an eyebrow. “So… you don’t think that’s weird?” “Maybe a little,” Pinkie said with a shrug, “but if you’d like it, then I’d be happy to do it for you.” Applejack felt the corners of her mouth turn up slowly. “Oh. Okay. Uh, cool.” “So? Come over here,” Pinkie said as she walked toward the bed. Applejack chewed her cheek as she got to her hooves. “But, see, uh, I don’t wanna just let you tie me up.” Pinkie stopped and turned back to face her. “What do you mean?” Applejack pawed at the floorboards. “I want you to force me to let you tie me up.” Pinkie pursed her lips. “So... you don’t want me to tie you up?” “No, I do,” Applejack said, her cheeks feeling like the surface of Celestia’s sun. “... But I wanna pretend like I don’t… Get it?” Pinkie Pie tapped a hoof to her chin for a few moments before shaking her head. “Noper-doper!” Applejack sighed. Perhaps she needed a new tactic. “Think of it like a game. Your goal is to tie me up, and my goal is not to let you.” Pinkie giggled. “Alright… and then what?” Applejack pulled her hat down in front of her eyes. Her breathing was starting to become ragged just thinking about it. “... And then you have your way with me, no matter what I say to the contrary.” “What do you mean? You’re gonna tell me to stop?” Applejack felt a shiver pass through her entire body as she thought about Pinkie looming over her, her limbs restrained, all means of defense stripped away… “Yeah,” she squeaked. “I’m gonna beg you to let me go, but don’t. I don’t actually mean it.” Pinkie sat down on the bed and looked at the floor. “I guess that makes sense… But I don’t want to hurt you.” Applejack shook her head. “You won’t.” “But… what if you get scared, or actually do want me to stop?” Applejack tapped a hoof to her chin. “Uh… I guess we should have a safe word?” Pinkie brightened up instantly. “Ooh! Ooh! Can I pick the safeword?” Applejack chuckled. “Sure, Pinkie, make it whatever you want.” “Picklebarrel!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing up and down on the bed, before suddenly taking on a dire countenance. “Oh, but wait! What if you accidentally say Picklebarrel when you don’t mean to?” “... I don’t think that’s gonna happen, sugar,” Applejack said. “Are you sure?” Pinkie asked hurriedly, jumping off the bed to cradle Applejack’s face in her hooves. “Because sometimes I just say ‘Picklebarrel’ for no reason at all, just because it’s so fun to say!” Applejack took Pinkie’s hooves in her own and gazed into her sapphire eyes. “If I accidentally say Picklebarrel when I don’t mean to, then it’s on me. Alright?” “Alright,” Pinkie agreed with a soft, fond smile. Applejack smiled and leaned forward for a quick kiss. “You’re sure you’re alright with doin’ this?” Pinkie kissed back, and Applejack felt her tongue flick across her lips. She opened her mouth instinctively, and immediately felt Pinkie push deeper, tickling the top of her mouth. Applejack giggled at the sensation, then suddenly felt her body slamming into the bed as Pinkie threw all her weight on top of her. She opened her eyes to see Pinkie pull a large pink ribbon out of her hair. “Pinkie?” Applejack giggled. “Shhhh,” Pinkie cooed as she ran her hoof along Applejack’s foreleg, “just let it happen.” Applejack blinked. “... Oh! Is this it? Are we starting now?” Pinkie winked and Applejack felt the ribbon wrapping around her front hooves. She jerked them down to her sides in response and shifted her weight in an attempt to wriggle free, but Pinkie planted her hooves on either side of her head and pressed her weight down on her. Applejack sucked in air as Pinkie’s hipbones ground into her own, the pressure sending faint, pleasant tingles throughout her legs and torso. Pinkie took advantage of her momentary distraction to grab her right foreleg and pull it up over her head, looping the ribbon around her hoof and pulling it taught. Applejack squeaked as the plastic dug into her fur, the dull pain reminding her that she was supposed to be fighting this. She tried to lift her hoof, but Pinkie had superior leverage, pinning it to the bed. “I love it when you squirm,” Pinkie cooed, nibbling gently at her ear. Applejack giggled between grunts as she tried to lift her hoof. It was really happening. It was really, actually happening. “Happy to oblige,” she breathed out as she shifted her weight again, finally succeeding in pushing Pinkie off of her. “Oof!” Pinkie fell off the bed with a thud. Applejack made to roll off the other side of her bed, but was stopped as Pinkie pulled the ribbon around her hoof taut. “Get back here,” Pinkie growled. Applejack tried to pull her hoof away as hard as she could, but Pinkie had already threaded the ribbon through the gaps in the headboard, tying it off in a perfect bow. She wouldn’t be able to run without untying the ribbon… If she could find a way to untie it with only one hoof free. Pinkie hopped back onto the bed and loomed over her, curly tail swishing as she reared back to pounce. Applejack swallowed hard. “Don’t,” she forced herself to object, though it was hardly convincing when they both knew she wanted it so badly. Pinkie smirked. “Giving up already?” Applejack shook her head. “N-No, never.” She reached her free hoof towards the ribbon, but the moment she did Pinkie snagged it in another length of ribbon she’d materialized out of nowhere. “Hey!” She protested. “We’re only just getting started, you can’t leave already!” Pinkie taunted her, tying off the new length of ribbon on the other side of the headboard. Applejack looked back and forth between her forehooves and Pinkie and chuckled nervously. She tried tugging on each hoof, but all she could accomplish was to restrict the blood flow to her hooves further as the ribbons dug into her skin. “Don’t you go anywhere,” Pinkie said with a giggle before disappearing into her closet. Applejack could feel sweat beading on her forehead as she listened to her marefriend humming a cheerful tune as various odds and ends came flying out of the closet onto the bedroom floor. If she wasn’t going to give up – and she wasn’t – her best chance at this point would be to chew through the ribbon. She craned her neck to her right, and then her left, trying to see if either was easier to reach. Both seemed equally impossible, as her teeth fell several inches short, but she had to try. “Now, where did I put it?” Pinkie sing-songed from the closet as Applejack strained her neck muscles. Just an inch more and she could reach… “Here it is!” Pinkie cheered, and all the rooting around stopped. Applejack felt the ribbon between her teeth and chewed for all she was worth. “Hey, what are you doing?” Pinkie’s voice scolded from behind her. Applejack dared not turn to look; Another second and her hoof would be free. “Ah!” Applejack gasped as she felt Pinkie’s tongue trace her cutiemark, losing her grip on the ribbon and looking down to her assailant. Pinkie shook her head with a frown, clicking her tongue as she climbed back onto the bed. Of all the things Applejack could have expected Pinkie to come out of the closet with, this was certainly not one of them; She’d put on a black lace-up corset and matching thong. Applejack felt her eyes widening as she took in the bizarre sight. “Have you always owned that?” Applejack wheezed. “Eh, I bought it for a joke I played on Rainbow once,” Pinkie admitted with a giggle, “but it seemed relevant now.” Pinkie narrowed her gaze. “However! No biting your bindings! That’s very naughty.” “What are ya gonna do?” Applejack sneered. “Put me in time out?” Pinkie gave her a half-lidded gaze as she crept over her, smirking all the while. “No, I’ve got a much more fitting punishment in mind for you.” Applejack chuckled. “Do your worst.” Pinkie lowered her face – slowly – down to Applejack’s ear and whispered, “I intend to.” Applejack’s whole body shivered in anticipation as she felt Pinkie licking along her jawline, electric tingles firing through her mind with every stroke of her tongue. She tried to roll to the side, but Pinkie lowered her weight onto her at just the right moment to stop her momentum. Applejack felt Pinkie’s pelvis rocking against hers, their marehoods separated only by the thin black thong, rapidly dampening. Pinkie brought her hooves up to either side of Applejack’s face and corralled her mouth into a deep kiss, her tongue exploring every nook and crevice of the bound mare’s mouth. Applejack took rapid breaths through her nose as her eyes rolled back in their sockets. She couldn’t move, couldn’t escape; It was just like she’d hoped it would be. She couldn’t help but rock her hips in time with Pinkie’s, each brush of contact sending jolts of lightning up through her spine as Pinkie’s tongue probed deeper into her mouth. She was totally helpless, out of breath, rocking into each movement, escape barely a thought in her mind, and this was Pinkie Pie, the love of her life, making her feel this good, and– Uh oh. “Pinkie,” Applejack gasped as best as she could with Pinkie’s tongue halfway into her mouth, “I’m gonna–” “No talking,” Pinkie scolded, running her hooves along her barrel in tantalizing arcs. Applejack moaned as Pinkie’s thong stroked across her folds, the fabric having completely soaked through. “Pinkie, I’m gonna–” Pinkie interrupted her by pulling her tongue into her own mouth and sucking, and Applejack spasmed at the new sensation. “Nnnnngggg–Pinkieeeeeeeee!” Applejack cried as she bucked her hips furiously, Pinkie providing all the necessary resistance. Waves of pure energy fired through her body, her mind clouding over as she lost herself in Pinkie’s embrace. Time slowed to a crawl with each sputtering jolt, fresh daggers shooting into her mind as her convulsions slowly subsided. Gradually, almost painfully, Applejack opened her eyes and saw Pinkie staring down at her, lips shut tight as her eyes twinkled brightly. “AJ… did you just… did you just come?” Applejack’s eyes shot open as her cheeks burned. She tried to reach up to pull her hat down over her face, only to be reminded that her legs were still tied to the headboard. This was the most embarrassing moment of her entire life. “... Maybe?” Applejack said, trying to shrink down to as small a size as she could. Pinkie giggled. Applejack panted. “Wow. And here I thought Rainbow Dash was the fastest mare in Equestria,” Pinkie chided her, smiling brightly as she laid down next to Applejack and wrapped her hooves around her neck. Applejack kept panting. “I’m sorry, Pinks,” she gasped. “I… Uh… I’m sorry.” Pinkie giggled again as she squeezed Applejack’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “Why? That was totally, super-duper fun!” Applejack blinked. “Uh… Really?” Pinkie nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah! I mean, I knew I was sexy, but I didn't realize I was that sexy.” Applejack flicked her ears as she stared into Pinkie’s eyes. “... Yeah. You are.” Pinkie giggled and gave Applejack another kiss. Applejack smiled through her panting. “You are the best marefriend ever,” she finally said. “I know,” Pinkie said with a wink, “... but so are you." Applejack felt the ribbons around her hooves come loose and immediately brought them down to cradle Pinkie’s face, enjoying the soft warmth of her afterglow for all it was worth. "So, ready for round two?" Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. "What!?" Applejack squeaked. Pinkie giggled as her stomach rumbled, and Applejack couldn’t resist joining in her laughter. Pinkie traced some lazy circles around Applejack’s chest. “My stomach says it’s hungry.” Applejack nodded. “Snack break?” Pinkie stood up from the bed and slid out of her corset and thong, placing them gently in the pile of clothes spilling out of her closet. “Wanna go see what we can rustle up downstairs?” Applejack followed her to the door. “Darn tootin’.” As the two ponies crept down the dark hallway toward the staircase, Applejack wrapped her tail around Pinkie’s and sighed. Her mane was a mess, her fur was matted with sweat, and her legs ached from exertion, but she didn’t care. She had Pinkie Pie.
... I ran out of elements involved in the shenanigans to name chapters after...Applejack hummed a tuneless melody as she swept off the farmhouse’s porch with her tail. She was humming loudly enough as to be heard from at least twenty feet away. Rarity rolled her tongue across her teeth. It wasn’t that odd that she was humming. Applejack had a lovely voice, after all, and could often be found singing a merry tune to herself when doing her farmwork; Rarity had happened upon such a scene many times in her visits to the farm. No, what was so odd was that Applejack was cleaning. Well, no, that wasn’t quite right either; Applejack cleaned whenever it was appropriate. She would not leave the kitchen a mess after baking, or muddy hoofprints on the floor, because such things were impolite. Applejack cleaned out of obligation, because it was the right thing to do. Applejack. Cleaning. Happy. This did not add up. “Hello, Applejack,” Rarity called out as she approached the farmhouse. Applejack continued humming, sweeping across the porch with a dance-like rhythm. Rarity felt her skin crawl. “Howdy, Rarity! What brings you round the farm?” Applejack asked. Rarity took a deep breath. Something was up with her friend, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood,” Rarity said with a nonchalant wave of her hoof. “I must say, you look positively radiant this afternoon.” Applejack stopped sweeping, giggled, and blushed. This was even worse than Rarity had thought. “Thanks, Rares,” Applejack said as she adjusted her hat. “Can I get ya anything? Some juice, or cider? I think Granny’s got a tea pot somewhere–” “No, I’m quite alright, thank you,” Rarity said. “I’m much more interested in hearing about what has got you in such a good mood.” “Huh? Oh, it’s nothin’,” Applejack said with a shrug. “I very much doubt that,” Rarity said as she tapped a hoof to her chin. There was definitely something different about her, if she could just figure out what. “I know! You finally started using that shampoo I got you for Hearth’s Warming last year, didn’t you?” Applejack shook her head. “No.” Rarity narrowed her gaze. “You got new horseshoes?” “Umm… No.” “Well, clearly SOMETHING is making you glow today. What is it?” Applejack rolled her eyes. “I’m just happy, Rarity. There don’t always gotta be a reason.” Rarity sighed. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to, but…” Rarity paused to give Applejack a menacing glare, “I will find out.” Applejack shrugged. “If you say so.” “Yes. Well.” Rarity coughed into her hoof. “As it so happens, there is a reason I am here today.” “I thought you said you were just in the neighborhood, and decided to stop by?” Applejack smirked. Rarity shook her head. “Honestly, Applejack, a lady is entitled to a certain element of benign deceit when investigating the abnormal emotional statuses of her friends.” Applejack blinked. “A certain element of what now when investigatin’ the whosits?” “I lied to you because I wanted to know why you’re so happy,” Rarity said flatly. “I already told you, nothin’s–” Rarity raised a hoof. “Doesn’t matter. I wanted to ask you about Rainbow Dash.” Applejack’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before she adjusted her hat and turned around. “What about ‘er?” Rarity narrowed her gaze. That was a tell. “She’s been acting… strange, I suppose you’d say. You wouldn’t know anything about that, by any chance, would you?” Applejack sat down on the porch steps. “What do you mean, strange?” Rarity sucked in air through her teeth as she sat down beside her. “Well… How do I put this delicately… Sometimes, Rainbow Dash and I… have sex.” Applejack groaned. “Augh, come on Rares! I don’t want to know about that!” Rarity laughed. “What? It’s perfectly normal. Don’t you and Pinkie?” Applejack dragged her forehooves down her face in agonizing slow motion. “I’m not bothered by sex, I’m bothered by the idea of my friends having it.” Rarity sighed. “Well, then perhaps you’re in luck, because last night, Rainbow turned me down.” Applejack shut her eyes and began massaging her temples. “This conversation is not happening.” “I know sometimes, any given pony might just not be in the mood, but… This is Rainbow Dash. I’ve never dated a pony who loves sex as much as she does.” Applejack gagged. Rarity grinned. “And we’re talking about sex with me! Rarity! I don’t mean to brag, but I am quite good at it.” “Sweet Celestia, Rares, is there a point to this, or are ya just tryin’ to make me lose my breakfast? Because it’s workin’.” “The point is, Applejack, have you noticed her acting strange? Has she said anything… I don’t know, unusual to you?” Applejack shook her head. “Don’t you think you should just ask Rainbow?” Rarity sighed. “Fine. You’re right. It’s not polite to snoop around behind her back.” Applejack nodded. “So this conversation is over now, right? I can go back to my chores?” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, I won’t bother you with any more descriptions of Rainbow and I when we–” “LA LA LA,” Applejack sang, slamming her hooves over her ears as she retreated inside the farmhouse, “All I really need is a smile smile smile, fill my pony heart with sunshine, sunshine!” Rarity laughed uproariously as she trotted down the path towards town. Rarity sighed as she turned the key to open the front door of Carousel Boutique. So Rainbow had turned her down. It wasn’t a big deal. It was just an isolated incident; perhaps she really did just have a headache? She pushed open the door and stepped inside. “Hello there,” came Rainbow Dash’s voice from a few feet away. Rarity looked up from her purse to see the pegasus lying on the chaise lounge, which she had moved to be across from the door, with a rose in her mouth and half-lidded eyes. Rarity giggled. “How long have you been waiting there, darling?” Rainbow threw her neck back and groaned. “Like 3 hours!” She coughed into her hoof. “Er… I mean… No amount of time is too long to wait for you, baby,” she finished with what was doubtlessly meant to be a suave wiggle of her eyebrows. Rarity couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across her face. “Oh dear, flattery will get you everywhere.” “I know,” Rainbow said in what Rarity knew was her bedroom voice. She got up off the chaise lounge and slid over behind her, placing her forehooves on Rarity’s shoulders and rubbing in tiny circles. “What do you say we go take a… bubble bath?” Rarity fought back her laughter as best she could. Clearly Rainbow was trying to apologize, and she appreciated that, but did she not realize how ridiculous she sounded? No, of course she didn’t; Rainbow no doubt thought this was her sexiest moment in history. Rarity briefly considered telling her she’d missed her opportunity to teach her a lesson, but on the other hand… Well, she could have a lot of fun milking this for everything it was worth. It wasn’t like Rainbow would actually learn a lesson, anyway. “That sounds delightful, darling,” Rarity said with a nuzzle. “Good,” Rainbow whispered, “because I already started one.” “And did you use the rose scented bubbles you know are my favorite?” Rainbow opened her mouth and froze. “Uh… One second,” she said in her normal voice and bolted up the stairs. Rarity giggled. A few moments later Rainbow returned and resumed her lower, softer tone. “Rose scented bubbles, just for you.” “Wonderful,” Rarity cooed as she headed for the stairs. Rainbow flew a quick loop and followed right behind her. When Rarity got to the bathroom, she had to stop for a moment to take in the sight. Rainbow had arranged at least 50 candles all around the sides of the tub, and strewn a path of rose petals across the floor. “Rainbow, you’ve outdone yourself,” Rarity whispered. Rainbow buffed her hoof on her chest and snickered. “What can I say? I know how to please my lady.” Rarity turned to look at Rainbow and smirked. The pegasus beamed with pride. “So, you ready to – woah!” Rainbow yelped as Rarity grabbed her in her magic and threw her into the tub. “Hey, what’s the big i–” Rarity didn’t hear the end of Rainbow’s complaint as she was already in the tub with her, forcing her lips down onto the pegasus’ with reckless abandon. The pleasantly warm water billowed around them as they wrapped their hooves around each other, rolling about the sides of the tub and kissing furiously. Rainbow made a slight grunt as she shifted her weight behind Rarity running her hooves up and down her neck in elongated arcs. “You’re tense,” she said. Rarity giggled. “I’ve been a little stressed, my dear. Do take care of it for me?” Rainbow gave a determined smirk. “With pleasure.” Rarity shivered as Rainbow’s hooves went to work, pushing and pulling across her muscles in rhythmic fashion. She could feel the pain and toil of the day melting away as Rainbow nipped playfully at her ear, forcing an involuntary flinch. “Oh, Rainbow, you give the best massages,” Rarity whispered as she leaned back against Rainbow’s body. She could feel the pegasus’ heart beating against her spine, in perfect, hastening union with her own. “Just wait,” Rainbow cooed, and Rarity felt Rainbow’s hoof snaking down her abdomen. She gasped as the muscles tensed up at the sudden contact, and felt Rainbow’s other hoof turning her face so that their lips could meet. Rarity opened her mouth immediately, allowing Rainbow’s tongue to flick lightly inside as her hoof continued its descent. Rarity squirmed as she felt Rainbow stroking her thighs, moaning softly into the pegasus’ mouth. Rarity shivered as Rainbow broke the kiss and drew her tongue along her neck. Rainbow licked up to her ear and gave a playful bite as she finally moved her hoof to its destination. “I love you,” Rarity whispered as she melted into the contact. “I love you too,” Rainbow whispered back as she began to move her hoof faster. Rarity bit her lip as her hips spasmed. Rainbow licked the base of her ear, and she started to lose her breath. Rainbow’s hoof continued its desperate assault, and she could feel Rainbow’s hips grinding against her dock with increasing, infectious fervor. Rainbow abruptly pulled Rarity’s forehead down with her free hoof. “Rainbow, what are you–” Rarity gasped as she felt Rainbow’s tongue flick across the top of her horn. Tiny spurts of magic escaped against her will, beckoning Rainbow to continue. Rarity panted furiously as Rainbow’s tongue lapped, first gently at the tip, continuing to broader, rougher strokes around the base. “Don’t stop,” Rarity squeaked as she grabbed Rainbow’s hoof in both of her own and pressed it harder against her marehood. Rainbow’s tongue dragged all the way up her horn in one devastating lick and Rarity whinnied in ecstatic shock. When Rainbow reached the tip she swiftly brought her lips in around it, sucking it gently into her mouth. Rarity saw stars through her eyelids as the twin pleasures Rainbow offered her vied for dominance of her mind. The soft suction on her horn was unlike anything she’d ever felt; She could feel her magical energy seeping out into Rainbow’s mouth, and was powerless to stop it. She alternated tiny squeaks and ragged moans as the tension mounted in her groin and horn. It overwhelmed her mind, shutting down her senses, blocking out every thought other than those of her love for that stupid, arrogant, ridiculous pegasus, and – Rarity threw her neck back in a series of violent shakes as the pleasure overtook her, the swirling water of the tub echoing the crashing waves pulsating throughout her body. Rainbow’s hoof continued its mission as she sucked on her collarbone, guiding Rarity through the rest of her climax until she collapsed, exhausted, into her waiting arms. Rarity’s eyes fluttered open to see Rainbow smiling down at her. “How’s that for a bubble bath?” Rarity giggled. “You’re perfect,” she cooed as she nuzzled into her neck. Rarity closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath as she turned her body to face Rainbow’s, pressing her body in close and pulling her into a hearty hug. “I love you, Rainbow Dash.” “I know, you just said that,” Rainbow said with a chuckle. Rarity smiled. “Well, I can’t be faulted for repeating the truth.” The two sat in the tub in silence for a long moment, Rarity catching her breath and Rainbow happily stroking her hooves through her mane. “Alright,” Rarity said as she picked herself up and landed across the tub from Rainbow, “It’s your turn.” To Rarity’s surprise, though, Rainbow shook her head. “It’s okay, Rarity, this one’s all about you.” Rarity narrowed her gaze. “What do you mean?” Rainbow averted her gaze and rubbed her neck. “Umm… I mean, I don’t need a turn? Because… I just wanted to make you happy?” Rarity raised one eyebrow and snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, Rainbow.” Rainbow gave a nervous chuckle. “I’m not, it’s just, I felt bad for yesterday, so I wanted to make it up to–” “Rainbow Winnifred Dash,” Rarity said firmly as she stood up and loomed over the pegasus, “you are going to let me make you come, and you are going to like it.” Rainbow blinked, and a moment later her wings sprang straight out to the sides. “Okay,” she squeaked. Rarity felt the corners of her cheeks turn up without thinking about it. “That’s better,” she said as she moved across the tub, cradling Rainbow’s face in her hooves and capturing her lips in a kiss. She could feel the pegasus’ entire body trembling already. She would have allowed herself a satisfied smirk if her lips weren’t busy. Rainbow moaned softly as Rarity moved her hooves along the bones of her primaries, and Rarity had to bite back a giggle as she noticed just how rigid they had suddenly become. Rarity had to admit one of the benefits of dating a pegasus was that it was rather easy to tell how well they were responding to one’s efforts. Rarity ran her hooves through the beautiful blue feathers, gently realigning those that had gotten out of position throughout the day. Rainbow shuddered, sinking lower into the water until only her head was visible, resting against the side of the tub. Rarity planted one hoof next to her head and stroked the other down Rainbow’s chest in agonizingly slow motion. “Are you ready to begin?” Rarity cooed as she used her magic to push the bubbles to the sides of the tub. Rainbow nodded meekly, her entire frame shaking with every stroke of Rarity’s hoof. “Very well,” Rarity whispered, and brought her lips once again to her lover’s as her hoof found its mark between Rainbow’s legs. Rainbow immediately began squirming with every gentle motion of Rarity’s hoof. Rarity forced her tongue into her mouth, savoring every little twitch and moan Rainbow gave her. Her hoof steadily increased its pace, moving in measured, practiced circles against Rainbow’s nub. Where Rainbow was passion and raw, untamed feeling, Rarity was elegance and refined grace. Rainbow closed her legs around Rarity’s hoof and rocked her hips, and the unicorn chuckled. “Rainbow,” Rarity said, “let me.” She used her magic to force Rainbow’s legs apart and withdrew her hoof momentarily. Rainbow gave a high pitched whine as she reached her forehoof down, but Rarity stopped that with her magic as well and gave a short laugh. “C’mon Rarity, don’t toy with me,” Rainbow pleaded, the overwhelming need that colored her voice sending a shiver down Rarity’s spine.. Rarity nodded. “As you wish,” she said, and plunged her hoof back under the water. Rainbow moaned loudly and bit down on her hoof under Rarity’s ministrations, and Rarity felt a jolt of satisfaction with every little squeak and squeal she was able to draw out of the pegasus. Rarity had to admit it; this was her favorite part. Watching Rainbow twitch and squirm beneath her with every subtle stroke of her hoof, moaning and panting in pleasure that only Rarity could give her… It was like a drug, almost. The way she bit her lip and bucked her hips, the way she crammed her eyes shut and lost her breath, the adorable furrowing of her brow, all because of her… Rarity loved it, almost as much as she loved the daft pegasus herself. Of course, it would be impolite to simply tease the poor darling forever, no matter how much she enjoyed it. As Rainbow let out a particularly frenzied whine, Rarity cooed, “Would you like me to let you come, Rainbow?” Rainbow nodded vigorously. Rarity smirked. “Then come for me.” Rarity steadily increased the speed of her strokes until she could feel the water sloshing over the sides of the tub. Rainbow bit her hoof again and whimpered softly, rocking her hips for all she was worth. Just as Rarity could feel the burning in her hoof start to slow her down, Rainbow seized up and let out a feral cry, her body quaking. Rarity felt her heart overflowing as she watched her marefriend riding out her climax, gently slowing down until finally she laid still. “Rarity,” Rainbow panted as she laid against the side of the tub, “you’re amazing.” “I know,” Rarity chirped happily as she threw her forelegs around Rainbow and squeezed her tight. “So… Does this mean you forgive me for last night, then?” Rainbow asked quietly. Rarity tapped a hoof to her chin. “Hmmmm… I don’t know.” “Aww, come on!” Rainbow protested. “Please?” Rarity laughed. “Of course I forgive you, Rainbow.” Rainbow gave a relieved sigh. “Good, ‘cause I don’t think I have the energy to do that again.” Rarity let herself sink down to her shoulders and stretched her legs. “Oh, I very much doubt that.” Rainbow looked back at her and arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Rarity shrugged. “If I really wanted to, I could easily get another orgasm out of you.” Rainbow blinked, and a moment later her wings sprung out to the sides.
Not a Euphamism.Sweet Apple Acres’ barn stood in a state of perpetual decay, which Rainbow Dash had to admit didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It seemed like half of what Applejack did on the farm was fix the barn, and yet it never seemed to get… well… fixed. And if she wasn’t fixing the barn, she was declaring it so decrepit and unsalvageable that the whole thing had to be torn down and have a new one built in its place. And yet, for the seemingly monthly barn-raisings Applejack had, the next Rainbow knew she’d be back to hearing about how the wood was cracking, and the roof was leaking, and the paint was peeling and… But that wasn’t the point. The point was, every time a new barn went up, there was always a good three to four week window before the renovations started up that Applejack would be out doing other chores, like… Umm… Bucking apples? Actually, Rainbow wasn’t entirely sure what else Applejack did when not renovating the barn or harvesting her crop… But whatever, she’d be elsewhere, leaving the barn more or less completely unoccupied. That made it the perfect place for her and Pinkie Pie to enjoy some of their more illicit passions. “Dashie,” Pinkie’s voice sounded from the rafters as she closed the barn door, “up here!” Rainbow felt a devious grin creep across her face as she scampered up the ladder, spotting Pinkie reclining against a hay bale in the corner. Giggling excitedly, she crept up to her friend and sat across from her. “Did you bring the stuff?” Pinkie nodded, quickly pulling a brownie out of her hair. Dash raised an eyebrow. “You made brownies?” “Yep!” “Oh. I mean, I thought we were gonna smoke, but I guess edibles are fine. Just… takes longer.” Pinkie shook her head. “Oh. No, no no no, this brownie isn’t for eating.” Rainbow frowned. “What do you mean? What are we gonna do with brownies if we don’t eat them?” Rather than answering directly, Pinkie took a small plastic bag full of small green buds out of her mane and opened it. The powerful scent felt like a smack across Dash’s nose; Pinkie always had the best stuff. Pinkie took a few of the buds out of the bag and stuffed them into the top of the brownie, then materialized a lighter from… somewhere, and held the brownie up to her lips. She closed her eyes and lit the flame, sucking against the brownie as the marijuana ignited before coughing gently and offering it to Rainbow. Rainbow slowly closed her slackened jaw. “... We’re going to smoke out of a brownie?” Pinkie giggled, eliciting another cough. “Don’t be ridiculous, Dashie. We’re going to smoke out of the bong I built inside the brownie.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Of course. How silly of me.” Pinkie pushed the brownie and lighter into Rainbow’s hooves and leaned back against the hay bale. “It’s okay, Dashie, you’re allowed to be silly sometimes. Now smoke up!” Rainbow held the brownie up to her nose, eyeing the sides carefully. “So… Is there like, a shotgun or something, or…?” “Less thinky, more puffy.” At some point, acceptance was the only course of action. Pressing the brownie to her lips and inhaling, Rainbow ignited the lighter. She felt it immediately, the warm, prickly feeling invading her forehead like a swift kick to the face. She blinked rapidly as she held the smoke in her lungs, letting it spread inside her before letting it out in a slow leak. As her lungs emptied out she coughed into her hoof and passed the brownie back to Pinkie on her wing, resting her head against the hay bale. Rainbow closed her eyes, listening the to the soft crackling of the embers as Pinkie took another hit. The warm tingling crept its way across her brain, heading slowly down her spine and into her extremities. Pinkie coughed again and Rainbow felt the brownie land on her stomach. Without looking she pressed it to her muzzle and inhaled, another salvo of smoke filling her lungs from the still-lit embers. A powerful scratching made itself known at the back of her throat and she coughed harshly; Time to stop. Rainbow smiled to herself, letting her head sink into the hay, doing her best to smooth out the poky straws with her neck. “You’re not done already, are you Dashie?” Rainbow felt a distant laughter escape her throat. “I got stuff to do today, Pinks… Eventually.” She heard some rummaging sounds come from Pinkie’s side of the loft, and a murmured comment about being a lightweight, which she would have objected to if she didn’t feel quite so fantastic at the moment. “You got any snacks?” “I’ve got a bag of marshmallows ‘round here somewhere, gimme a sec…” Rainbow licked her lips, immediately noticing just how fuzzy her tongue felt all of a sudden. “I like marshmallows…” Right on cue a bag of the fluffy white treats appeared next to her. She pawed at it shakily, pulling one out and stuffing it into her mouth. “I luff marfmallowz,” she moaned softly through the gooey sugar. Pinkie giggled, and Rainbow heard the flint of the lighter clicking again, followed by a sharp hacking. “Speaking of marshmallows, how’s Rarity?” Rainbow rolled onto her side, letting her forelegs dangle in the air in front of her and laughing softly. “She’s not a marshmallow, she’s a unicorn…” Rainbow let her eyes drift closed and smiled as she thought about her girlfriend. “And how is that unicorn?” Rainbow could hear Pinkie’s grin. Rainbow giggled and fell off the haybale. “She’s sexy.” Rainbow heard Pinkie snort and started laughing along with her. “Oh, okay.” Rainbow frowned at that, as best as she could while laughing. “Whaddaya mean?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow at her. “What?” “You don’t think my girlfriend is sexy?” Rainbow glared. Pinkie shook her head. “I didn’t say that.” “So you do think my girlfriend is sexy?” Pinkie paused for a moment, looking at her hoof. “Uh… Yeah? I guess?” Rainbow leapt up and jutted a hoof out at Pinkie. Unable to balance the sudden movement, she fell flat on her face, but chose not to let that disrupt her train of thought. “Well, mitts off, she’s mine!” Pinkie started giggling again, and Rainbow couldn’t help but start again too. “Besides, you got… Umm… Applebutt.” Pinkie fell to the floor next to Rainbow, clutching her sides and rolling about in the hay. “You mean Applejack?” Rainbow blew her bangs out of her eyes and snickered. “Right. Applejack.” “Yep,” Pinkie wheezed between convulsions, “and she’s the best.” Rainbow rolled onto her back, her forehead coming to rest against Pinkie’s, the pressure on her neck oddly comfortable. Straining her eyes to look up, she saw her giant, sparkling blue eyes staring back at her. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, Dashie?” Pinkie whispered. “I’m so high,” Rainbow whispered back. “Me too.” Rainbow nearly started giggling again, but she heard something. It was a sort of wooden sound, or maybe metal, or maybe both, with some clicking and some creaking and– Rainbow gasped as she realized it was the barn door opening. “Pinkie! Somepony’s coming,” she whispered fervently, crawling over to the edge of the loft. She saw a blur of browns and light browns and lighter browns before she realized that was because her head was wobbling about and steadied it with her hooves. She saw Applejack turning around and closing the barn door behind her, then toward the ladder. But that didn’t make any sense! It couldn’t have been time to tear down this barn already, she’d just finished raising it like, a few days ago! Rainbow glanced back to Pinkie, who stubbornly refused to do anything but roll about in the hay and giggle. “Quiet, you’re gonna blow our cover!” Pinkie didn’t listen though. Panic setting in, Rainbow dove down into the straw and pulled all the loose bundles around her, until she was completely hidden. At least she’d be spared Applejack’s wrath, even if it meant Pinkie had to take the brunt of it. “Hey, Pinks,” Rainbow heard Applejack’s voice as she got to the top of the ladder. Any moment she’d explode, she knew it. She must’ve been suppressing her anger; There was no way she hadn’t noticed the smell the moment she entered the barn. At least Rainbow could give Pinkie the bitchingest obituary ever. It’d be, like, Pinkie Pie. She was Pink. Or something like that. The beginning was good, at least. “Hey AJ, what’s up?” Pinkie chirped. Rainbow heard Applejack sitting down and opened her eyes to see her snuggling up next to Pinkie. “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.” Rainbow flinched. Any second now… “... RD? Why’re you covered in straw? Or like… Kinda half-covered? Your mane and tail’re stickin’ out.” Rainbow felt her neck hair stand on end. She’d been spotted! Now she’d have to write an obituary for herself, too! And it’d be like… “Rainbow Dash. She was blue, mostly.” That wasn’t nearly as good as the one she’d come up with for Pinkie. Pinkie just giggled more, but Rainbow didn’t plan on dying today; Thinking quickly, she came up with a cover. “I’m not Rainbow,” she said slowly, dragging out the vowels, “I’m… a haaaaaay ghooooooost!” Pinkie lost it, and Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh no, not a hay ghost! Whatever will I do?” Sensing an opportunity, Rainbow raised up onto her haunches and waved her hooves forebodingly. “Run awaaaaaaaaaaay! And then bring back some snaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks, and leave them by the laaaaaaaaddeeeeeer!” Applejack turned to Pinkie and kissed her on the cheek. “Guess I’ll be right back, then.” “With snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!” “Right, with snacks.” Applejack chuckled, descending the ladder. Rainbow shook the hay off and watched her go, wiping the sweat from her brow when she closed the door. “Phew, that was close.” “She knows, Dashie.” Rainbow flopped onto her back and smiled. “Knows what? To get snacks for the hungry ghost?” Pinkie laughed and shook her head. “Noooooooo, she knows we’re high.” Rainbow’s eyes shot open as she righted herself, pushing her snout up against Pinkie’s. “What!? How!?” “She’s not blind?” Pinkie said, booping Rainbow’s nose. “But… But I was so convincing! There’s no way she knows.” Pinkie giggled again. “You were pretty convincing.” Rainbow frowned and sat back on her haunches, crossing her forelegs in front of her. “Whatever. We’ll just ask her when she gets back with our snacks.” Pinkie had the gall to laugh more at this. “But, but– but then she’ll definitely know!” She cried, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Rainbow cocked her head, surprised to find it had at some point migrated to the floor. “What do you mean?” Pinkie writhed among the hay, snorting and giggling and letting out half-words whenever she could, but failing to put together any string of intelligible syllables. Rainbow sprawled out across the hay, bumping the bag of marshmallows with her wing. She pulled it over and pushed a few of them into her mouth. “‘ey, Pinksch… Can I aschk you schomethin’?” Pinkie nodded invertedly. Rainbow swallowed before continuing. “Umm… I need some advice. But you can’t tell anypony. Okay?” Pinkie nodded again. Rainbow pawed at some of the hay. “Umm… And, if I say anything too embarrassing or weird… It’s the pot talking, and it’s definitely not true.” “Okie dokie,” Pinkie said. Rainbow stretched her neck. “Well… See, uh, sometimes, me and Rares… Uh… Have sex.” Pinkie gasped. “No way!” “... Right. And, don’t get me wrong, I–” “Wait!” Pinkie shouted, rolling onto her stomach and cocking her head. “Was that the pot talking?” Rainbow shook her head. “No.” “Oh okay. Continue.” Rainbow took a deep breath and pressed on. “Yeah, so like I was saying, I–” “WAIT!” Pinkie shouted again, jumping up to her hooves. “Was that the pot talking!?” Rainbow smacked her hoof into her forehead. “Forget that part! All of what I’m about to say is true!” Pinkie narrowed her gaze for a moment as she sat back down. “... Okay.” Rainbow sighed. “Okay, so… Uh… For my birthday, Rarity said she had a special surprise for me, right? And I was like, ‘cool, I love surprises,’ so I was all, ‘Bring it on,’ right? So then, uh… Well, remember that time Rarity got captured by the Nightmare spirits from the moon?” “Mmhmm.” “... Well… Umm… So, Rarity was like… really hot when she was like… possessed. Right?” Pinkie giggled. “I guess.” Rainbow could feel her cheeks burning red as she giggled despite herself. “Stop laughing, this is serious! I might have told her, at some point, that I thought it was a good look. And… I guess she read into that a little bit. So… Uh… For my birthday, we… Uhh… Well…” Rainbow’s stammering stopped abruptly as she felt Pinkie’s hoof touching her own. She looked up to see Pinkie smiling softly at her. “It’s okay, Dashie. You can tell me. Or, if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to.” Rainbow closed her eyes as she drew a deep breath. She’d come this far… “Wehadroleplaysexanditwasawesome.” Pinkie squeezed Rainbow’s hoof gently. “That sounds fun.” Rainbow opened one eye. “So… Uh… You’re not, like… weirded out?” Pinkie laughed. “Are you kidding? That’s like, nothing. But what’s the advice for?” Rainbow scratched her neck with her free hoof, squeezing Pinkie’s back with the other. “Well… It was like, really, really great. And… I really kinda wanna do it again? But I don’t know how to tell Rarity.” Pinkie nodded as she raised a hoof to her chin. “I see. … Why don’t you just ask?” “But,” Rainbow interrupted herself with a cough, “but I don’t want to pressure her, you know? I mean, what if it was just a one time thing? Or what if she didn’t like it as much as I did? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable just for my sake… And like, I like normal sex with her just fine, right? I mean… She’s Rarity. She’s, like, really good at it. Or, what if she thinks it’s weird that I liked it so much? What if she doesn’t think I’m cool anymore?” Rainbow watched Pinkie think for what seemed like ages before she finally cleared her throat. “... Any ideas?” Pinkie blinked and shook her head. “Huh? Ideas about what?” Rainbow gave a nervous laugh. “… I don’t remember.” “... Oops?” Rainbow pushed another marshmallow into her mouth. “Whadever. Probably washn’d impordand.” Rainbow turned to look as she heard the barn door opening again, spotting Applejack walking in with two saddlebags stuffed full of what could only be delicious snacks. “Sorry that took so long,” Applejack said as she reached the top of the ladder. “Had to come up with an excuse for why I was gettin’ all this food so Granny wouldn’t know you two’re smokin’ in the barn again.” “Told you she knew,” Pinkie said, already digging through one of the saddlebags. “And you didn’t say anything?” Rainbow asked. Applejack rolled her eyes as she picked up the brownie and flicked the lighter. “Why would I care?” Rainbow felt her entire understanding of the universe collapse as she watched Applejack take a hit from the brownie. She’d seen a lot of strange things in her life – She was friends with Pinkie Pie, after all – but none compared to this moment. “AJ… You… you smoke?” Applejack coughed and nodded as she passed the brownie over to Pinkie. “When I feel like it. I think this one’s kicked, Pinks.” Pinkie looked up from an empty pie dish and started packing it again. Rainbow scratched her chin as she chewed on a candy bar. She’d never taken Applejack for the stoner type. If she was cool with it, Rarity would almost have to be. She could barely contain her giggles as she imagined what Rarity would be like high. She’d be all woobly, and make faces, and totally silly, and… It might even affect her magic. Rainbow’d never seen a unicorn high before, so she didn’t know for sure, but that seemed like the kind of thing that made sense, didn’t it? “Hey, if a unicorn gets high, does it mess with her magic?” When nopony answered her, she looked over and saw a mess of pink and orange and blonde rolling around in the hay together, giggling and apparently trying to eat each other’s mouths. “Hey, that’s not fair! You can’t just make out in front of me!” Rainbow scowled. Pinkie rolled off of Applejack, now wearing her hat. “Sorry, Dashie.” “Sorry,” Applejack echoed, melting into the hay. Rainbow sighed. “Whatever… I should get going, anyway.” “Wait!” Pinkie cried, popping up to her hooves. “Don’t you wanna stay just a liiiiiiiiittle longer?” Rainbow stretched her wings as she got to her hooves. “And do what? Watch you two make out?” Pinkie rummaged through the hay and pulled out a long cardboard box. “How about a quick game of Risk?” “Risk? That’s, like, the longest game, Pinks.” “But I already set up the whole board!” Rainbow rubbed her eyes and looked again. Indeed, she had. “... No.” “I’ll give you Kamchatka!” Pinkie slid over to Rainbow’s hooves and looked up at her with big, watery eyes. Rainbow clenched her teeth. She did love Kamchatka… “... Fine…” Applejack snorted. “I guess you’re just scared I’m gonna crush you, huh?” “... What? I just agreed to play.” “... You did?” “Yeah.” “Yep, she did, AJ.” “Oh... Sorry.” And then they played Risk.
