explicitly stupid adventures of orange OC in the kingdom of darkness

That morning the Everfree had an unusually foggy atmosphere. If I didn't know the dark neck of the woods as well as the back of my hoof I wouldn't have even bothered going that day. Still, the damp, depressing atmosphere made an impression that left me wondering what I was living for.

After a while I found myself sitting in the bushes and hugging a tree trunk, contemplating the meaning of everything. I realised I wanted permanency, but that was probably because all the little stages of my life were short-lived. My dad would drag me around from city to city, probably telling himself that it was for my benefit, but I had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't give a damn about what I think. Somewhere between doing everything I was told in magic school and doing whatever I wanted afterwards I found that nothing was particularly satisfying. If I found some place I could stick around forever would it really change anything?

My excessive introspection was interrupted with muted voices coming from the other side of the bushes.

• "The orb, do you have it?"

• "Yes! How many times are you going to ask about your bloody orb?"

• "You slip this up, the whole ritual is ruined."

• "I'd be more worried about the incantation if I were you."

• "Soon, Blackhoof, I'll be promoted beyond the ranks of back-talking assistants. Pray you never run into me then."

The exchange was followed by a series of strange noises accompanied with abvious digging sounds. I lowered myself to the wet ground, listening intently. It wasn't much more comfortable on the moss, but one of my arms was starting to fall asleep and I needed a little movement.

"All right, now let it charge for a few minutes." said Blackhoof's boss and the duo went away somewhere.

I peeked out from the bushes and saw a little makeshift ritual setup. There was a pattern of upturned dirt with a scepter and orb sticking out of the ground in the middle. I couldn't quite tell the purpose of the magic, but I had enough background in that sort of stuff to know it was something dark. Well, they wouldn't get very far with it while I was around.

I hopped over to the scepter, stuck it in my mane, took the orb and ran off. The faster this was done the better. Close to the clearing there was a familiar route that ran along the side of a cliff, which I could probably put to good use in case something went sour.

Only a few moments later I noticed that the orb was remarkably heavy, and judging by the sounds of pursuit I'd already managed to pick up a couple of friends. Unfortunately me and evil sorcerer types didn't get along very well. I tossed the orb over the edge and jumped through a series of bushes, picking up the pace. The scepter was still with me.

"Halt, in the name of the king!" Blackhoof called out.

Looks like the assistant was still following me.

King? I hadn't heard of a king in Equestria before. He probably just wanted to confuse me. I glanced back for a second and saw a dark spot hovering between the trees in the thick fog. Goddamn pegasi. I had to run him into a cave or something, assuming I could even outrun him there. Somewhere with thick tree branch cover was the best option. The sound of pegasus wings was already close behind when we ran into a thicket of pine trees. Blackhoof yelled some exploitives as he scraped some of the branches and took to the ground. I would've tossed the scepter away right there if he didn't; instead I weaved as fast as I could through the tree trunks going straight ahead, not giving him any chances to cut the distance.

Maybe he got a good scrape, or maybe I was that good at running through pine trees, but after a while I couldn't hear any signs of the pursuer. It wasn't clear how far I'd run. The only things I could tell for sure were that I'd never been to this part of the forest before and that I was over due for catching my breath. Was it a good idea to toss the scepter now? I didn't have a clue of how safe it would be to dispose of it randomly or how much of a mess I'd gotten myself into. The scepter had an air of malevolence about it. Could they use it to track me? The best thing to do would be to break it, but that wasn't safe either. There could be some violent magical discharge when the object could no longer hold it inside.

The pressure of trying to make a momentary decision made my head hurt, but then I noticed that the scepter was buzzing with power, so much so that I could feel the weight of it. I then decided that I had no business messing with these ponies, dropped the scepter into a hollow tree, and made to run off somewhere far away from that place. The fog was starting to lift and I had no intention of getting caught after that much work put into escaping.

Surprisingly, I made my way out of the forest and back into Ponyville safe and sound. Maybe my horse shoe really was a luck mark. How could it have been, though? I never had a girlfriend and my daddy never played with me when I was little. What kind of luck was that? I guessed it would somewhat make sense if Rainbow Dash was actually saving herself for me, not knowing that it was actually me. I didn't want to be the one to break the news to her. "Come on, luck mark." I muttered, rubbing my butt in an attempt to invoke the power of the horse shoe.

A mare from across the street looked at me questioningly. I stared back at her and continued rubbing, just to see what she would do. She looked away. I didn't really care what Ponyville thought about me anymore.