Meet Sesham.
Tender, that was his last memory of her. Her wings wrapped around him, her body heat warming his', and a soft voice, as soft as the love of a mother can be, floating gently through the air. A fond memory that was made even more beautiful just before disappearing.
The blue moon brights high and I'm at her feet,
One, two, three, four, seven, eight,
One, two, three, four, seven, eight.
I am still waiting for daylight to end,
One, two, three, four, seven, eight,
Four, five… six.
I am still watching over your deep breath,
How it leaves your chest and brings a new life,
And I can't bring back silence to you.
Beautiful intonation. Nothing like a lullaby to end the day… If he only knew that it was their last, then perhaps he would have resisted her enchants more, but her voice, as it always had, was very compelling. His eyes struggled to remain open, but in the end their battle was futile. His eyelids were falling as if they'd never been opened. As if they would never wanted to.
Just like a black cloud, I'm gone…
More of her words, more of her voice. The sound was deafening, for it had absorbed the world. His ears were now feasting on every verse, on every line that left her lips as they hanged lower and lower and lower. There was nothing else of importance, nothing else to worry, just her voice. And she kept that steady chant, a prayer to call upon his most basic instinct to tame him. So successful it had proven to be, that at some points her words started to loose sense. He never needed it anyway. He knew the song by heart.
I am still searching for something to dream,
But it always runs away,
If you look for it today.
I am still trying to search from on high,
Without any hope,
To believe.
Take back the pieces of pure wind and thought,
And give them for flowers to bloom.
Drowsiness was what followed. A sensation of immenseness that made his surroundings disappear. He was still conscious within his own thoughts, but this time the steps he was taking were closing to a translucent antechamber, the gates of a realm where all of the rest didn't really mattered. His own corner of sleep.
Tangerine flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head,
Look at the mare with the moon in her eyes,
And she's gone.
I've got a small cub with which I can charge,
All the pieces that form,
My whole softer side.
Its just a small cub that knows of me,
And though shrink in size,
There ain't better lad.
Search for your truth, you own strength, your own fate, and your love,
My young son.
For I'm leaving in a cloud... of storm,
I carry my thoughts and I'm gone,
Just like a black cloud... of storm.
Go search your own cloud and go…
Go search your own cloud and go…
The Day of the Night I'm gone,
I'm gone…
Like a cloud of storm…
He was brought to life like all cubs from the Nocturnus Coven.
He fell asleep at last. His ears hanged down completely, and his breathing started to deepen. Preceded by a long breathe, his final entrance to slumber started to happen, and the youngling finally went limp. She watched from her distance, which couldn't be less than personal, as her cub fell asleep in her lap.
It felt strange, unreal if she wanted, to be there, at that precise moment. A part of her knew what was going to happen, but rationality, curiously, wasn't somehow the strongest one. A sensation of cold, voidness, was what reigned within her skull. The only sign of a heart so self-torn that denial was the only thing that was left in order to continue, to not break down. And she was an expert in denial. She's always been.
"Is it done?" asked a voice from the window.
She looked back to where it had come. At the entrance of the poor living room stood the grim figures of the Night Guards, flanking the exit from the outside like two birds of prey, ready to descend upon their unadverted target as the merciless tools they were. As they all always have done.
"Its done" she declared, standing up from her bed, leaving the sleeping child behind. She didn't tucked him, for it'd have no use. They were going to take him anyway. "You may proceed."
The Night Guards waited until she stepped outside to get in, both of them marching without doubt or remorse. Why would they? None of them have ever had those sentiments over thousands of years, not even her, when it came to service. It was only because of the greater good that Noctees had survived all these eras, and that, like with many other things, wouldn't be changed… At least-
"Guards" she called. The aforementioned, for respect, stopped and turned, directing their motionless eyes to her, who, on her side, couldn't be less spoken about.
For a moment doubt stood before her resolution, and all the fivers in her body wanted to rush back, but it was just that: a moment. The time to change hearts had gone even before she was conceived by her own parents, ages ago.
"Yes, Eren?" asked one of the Umbras, the one that had spoken before. The other one, a female, had just stared into the scene as if she were denying it as well, and it looked she was still like that.
She blinked as her thoughts regained their structure. It may have seemed like a day of meditation, but in reality there had only been a couple of seconds. And life goes on. "I just wanted you to know that he's the only one that made it" she said, clearing her head enough to speak. A futile plead, but was better than nothing. "…So you better take care of him" she sentenced, as if her words would have the same weight of those of the Council itself, though, perhaps, in that moment, they did.
Nothing else. No goodbyes or farewells, not even a tear. She took flight into the warm air of the cavern as the one who she left behind unconsciously crawled for some body heat, squirming with something that wasn't there anymore, like if he somehow knew as well that after that lullaby they would never see each other again.
For a foreigner this life may seem unfair, but for Umbras the Coven comes first. And if the Coven demands, their sweat, their blood and their lives… well, what is a soldier's worth?
And he was recruited at six, like all cubs from the Nocturnus Coven.
No one would intervene, no one would speak a word, no one would even care. The only ones for whom the issue really mattered were the two guards that were left standing just past the entrance. Both of them following the mother with their eyes as she flew through the darkness until her flapping fused with countless others, and her physical existence was nothing else than a memory, lost forever until they were gone.
"Care to explain me?" asked the female, apparently now out of her stupor.
"Excuse me?" turned the other, taken by surprise.
"Her" she nodded in her general direction. "What was that of 'the only one' about?"
"Oh, that…" he gasped as his gaze turned gloomy. "She had other cubs before."
"Really?" now her eyes were set upon the place where she had left, a twinge of curiosity and concern peeking behind them. "What happened to them?"
He became even grimmer. "The same as her companion. She lost them."
Her gaze suddenly turned to him, surprise portrayed in her face as well as dismay, as if he'd tell her that she had murdered them herself. "Oh, my… That…" she nodded to the bed. He nodded as well. "Oh holy goddess!"
"Don't pronounce her name in vain" he sanctioned, nonchalant, as he headed for the bed. "I've never asked for the purposes of the Night before, even when they may be hidden to our understanding" he looked upon the sleeping cub as he turned over a little more, trying to profit from his comfort before it was taken away from him. "We both have seen many deaths, Eren and I" he continued, just watching the child. "And from everything I know, the only thing that I can take for certain is that, out of the others, if he lived, then he must have a purpose."
"A purpose?" she stood beside him, imitating his actions. "Of what kind?"
"I don't know" he shrugged. "That is up for the goddess to decide" another roll, this time accompanied by a soft kick. "After all, if he wouldn't, why bother?"
The cub rolled once again, then finally settled. A smile growing wither in her face as he had at last found his so longed comfort.
The male guard was the one to snap. "Well, we came here to fulfill a duty" he sighed. Turning away from the bed. "You take him" he told her.
"What? Why me?" she turned as well.
"Because you're the careful one here" he smiled sideways. "...and I don't wanna wake him."
She glared at him for this, but ultimately obeyed, closing her hooves gently around the youngling. "Come on, now, little one…" she whispered as she lifted him to her back. "Everything's going to be fine, I promise..."
Because Sesham, like all cubs, was born to be a Night Guard.
He woke up to a sensation of discomfort, a feeling so familiar yet so unsettling that not even his deepest slumber could withstand it. Something had changed, something that he couldn't tell. He twisted and rolled in his bed, but it just couldn't do. It wasn't the softness he was accustomed to, the sheets that used to embrace his body and keep it warm. Everything was different.
He opened his eyes, hoping to find the problem, but what would be his surprise when he found out that not only his bed had changed, but the very world around him. The four walls that used to be his humble menage had become suddenly a far larger room, extending from left to right for at least five times as it were, augmenting their height and width in a way that he'd never aspired to see himself duelling into, and filled with new faces that he'd never stared at.
Where was he?
Along his bed were perfectly accommodated rows of berths that both flanked and towered his', now that he noticed, from one end to another. Each one perfectly tended, each one with the same uncomfortably brown sheets and mattresses, each one of them with their personal occupant, or at least someone whom clearly belonged to, since the other "inhabitants" were hanging around, chattering, exploring, or simply going by. Some others were still on their beds, looking at the nothingness like him, but those were few.
And that was it, nothing but a daily life episode in an unknown hall that had came to receive him to his vigil, completely regardless of his state of mind. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed that he wouldn't dare to question the order of things, overtaken by an implicit motion to blend with it for a moment longer.
But if everything looked so ordinary, then why did it felt so wrong? It may have seemed to be normal in the surface, but for him everything was somehow so out of order that it was like if they were in another page, another reality, and another time that he obviously had lost track of somehow. It just didn't felt real. Suddenly even he just didn't felt real.
At first he was confused, not knowing how to act or even how to behave, or perhaps not wanting to know as ideas tried to form inside his head. He tried hard to concentrate, but that unsettling sensation had apparently disabled his capacity to think straight. What remained was some kind of black watery screen where his thoughts were slowly drowning, and from which nothing could be seen through save for the blackness.
Or that's what he thought.
"Hey, are you new?" a voice broke him from his thoughts. Beside him had appeared another cub, who was peeking from the upper side of his bunk bed. "Did they took you too?"
Now, there may have been many other ways to approach a shocked youngling, some more effective than others, but in that moment, when the words finished entering his conscience, suddenly the neurons that hadn't fall directly into the abyss formed their harrowing connections, and in an instant the realization of everything that was going on there dawned upon him. The war, the Coven, the Night Guard, his mother… just too many disclosures for a simple kid's mind to assimilate at the same time.
Obviously, he broke down.
"NOOOO!" his yell of absolute terror cut through the atmosphere of the place like a rock tossed against glass. Everyone jumped to the sudden scream, but by the moment all eyes turned to the source of the sound, he had already jumped off his bed and was heading for the nearest end of the room as he cried. "Where is my mother!? Where is my mother!? I WANNA GO HOME!"
In a second tears were raining down his cheeks, and his breathing had became unsteady, cycling from sobbing to the repeated inhalations that his body demanded to keep its frantic rhythm of activity. Inside him the black marsh that used to be his mind had suddenly bursted, turned into a sea of fire as all of his psyche was torn apart by the sudden and cold fracture of a panic attack.
He reached the nearest wall and looked for any entrances, but sadly he had mistaken. The exit was in the other end. He tried to fix it, and headed for the other side of the room, but by the moment he turned, all the other cubs had closed over and were now massing around him, preventing him to return.
He didn't care. His mind was so overexcited that nothing could get it to its senses. He was going to get out of there by any means. So, with a loud growl of anger and frustration he charged against the mass of younglings that were blocking his way to the door. Most of them, upon seeing him turning violent, dodging him or flying away from his reach.
He was bred to be what his Coven needed him to be.
He pressed on, seeing how everyone else fled in terror from his charge, and for a moment he thought that he'd made it, but in truth he had disregarded his obstacles too quickly. Before he gave another step a strange hoof, turned into a fist, stomped against his face without any warning, connecting a punch so perfect that the counterforce was enough to stop his advance, and even to send him in the other direction. Screams of surprise and terror filled the air, but to him everything was just a swirl of noise and movement floating chaotically around his eyes and ears as he rolled in the air before violently colliding with the floor.
"Shut up will ya?" screeched his attacker, a few steps away. He was another cub that was breathing heavily due to the effort he had put in his fist. "You will drag the guards with your whining, and I'm not spending the night outside because of you!"
He remained in the floor, not able to move or think because of his state. His eyes were wide open and his jaw had just dropped. All of his nerves were stiff as if they've received a cold shower. Pain was a thorn in his cheek, where a bruise was tarting to form. Did he had just got punched?
His thoughts were circling the empty void that the fist had opened in him when the other cub came closer. "Hey, did you listen?" his face was still threatening, but this time a twinge of worry had appeared underneath his factions. Not enough to tell for sure, but just so it could be noticed. "A-are you okay?"
He slowly snapped as his senses returned to rationality one by one, loosening up his muscles, and allowing his breath to enter his chest again, since he hadn't breathe since he hit the floor. To the fore came the vision of his attacker, still menacing, but this time more restrained, just waiting for him to say something.
He instinctively crouched in his place as the words began to gulp on his tongue. To speak, even not coherently, seemed like a nearly impossible task through the lump that had just formed in his throat. Only by willpower he was able to articulate. "I… I…"
"What was that?" the other came closer. "I can't catch you, what are you saying?"
His words readied to spill like a punch from his part. He knew what was going to happen beforehoof, but he didn't care. He somehow wanted it to happen anyway. "I wanna go home!"
There, he'd said it. Before he knew anything else, a hoof had grabbed him by the neck and pulled him up. When he realized he was facing eye to eye with the other cub, anger and violence igniting in his eyes once again.
"What did you say?" he asked again, marking every word like a menace as if he were already beating him.
"I… said… I said I wanna go home!" he cried again.
Everything turned still, the weight of reality fallen on the scene. At first it looked like nothing was going to happen, but then, before his very eyes, the free hoof of his opponent suddenly turned into a fist again, and raised for attack. All faces returned to their tense expressions that prevented them from moving as they were going to witness the continuation of that excruciation. He, on his way, didn't closed his eyes, nor did he moved a muscle agains it. He had stated his intentions clearly, and as far as he could tell the other one could punch him as he wished, he didn't care anymore...
"Hey, you leave him alone jerk!" shouted a voice from the mob.
All faces turned, and all eyes widened even more as the new contestant stepped inside the fight. He, in his resignation, watched with awe how the fist of his bully was suddenly stopped midway by a third hoof, that not only prevented him from sending his punch, but countered it as well. The next thing both knew was that a female cub, with more fire in her eyes even than the second one, had stepped in the place of his victim and had planted a frontal kick on his belly, taking his breath as she pushed him away.
"Get off him!" she shrieked as she stood between him and her opponent, then, to everyone's surprise, turned to him, who had fallen again to the floor. "Are you alright?" she asked kindly.
He stood still in awe. Her appearance and the action were so sudden that he still didn't knew what to think, far less what to say. Perhaps he projected a strong sentiment of relief, because a smile started to grow wither in her features as she watched him.
He was taught to fight.
"What is… wrong with you!?" the other one stood up, struggling to catch air. "You're gonna… gonna… Huh!" more gasping to recover breath. "You're gonna stand for that wimp?"
"What do you care?" she snapped. "He just lost his mother, his family… like all of us" she turned to everyone around, most of them which looked to be sympathetic or dodged her gaze, even the one who had aggrieved him suddenly seemed like being struck deep inside. "What would you do if you found out that everything you know have been stripped away from you? Huh?" now it was her who had stood face to face with him. "WHAT?"
The cub jumped back as if she had waved her fist against him again, but said nothing, his eyes clearly stated that she had successfully intimidated him. In the end, not knowing what to say, he just looked away in shame, his face turned into a bitter mask of suppressed anger.
"That's what I thought" she scolded, then turned to the rest. "Anyone else has a problem with it?"
The mob backed away, both in shame and fear. So great had being her impression in them.
"Good!" she continued. "Now get to your own business!"
Everyone dispersed, pouched by her fierce words, and her even fiercer expression. When all were gone she finally turned to the cub, which still lied in the floor, not quite believing anything he could see.
"Are you okay?" she asked again, her gentle tone regained after that display of aggressiveness. "Don't worry, they won't bite you, they are just scared" she extended her hoof to help him up. "…But still they'll walk over you if you let them" she glanced at where the other one had left, who had climber into his bunk and wasn't moving anymore.
He still stared at her with amusement, like if he hadn't bought what happened completely, but after a second snapped and reluctantly took her hoof, feeling how strong her grip was. She smiled fondly and pulled him up with ease, like if he had no weight. When both of them were in their fours he noticed that they were almost the same height, and, despite the fact that she had proven to be stronger, about the same complexion. It wasn't rare for Umbras to look alike, even if their gender would be different, but in that moment he was deeply amazed as to how similar they were, almost to the point of being a reflexion of the other.
"I'm Taly" she continued, intuiting that he wouldn't speak no word. "Nice to meet you."
He thought of an answer, anything, to say, but his own nervousness had taken away his parlance. "S-Sesham" he muttered sheepishly, slightly breaking through the word blockade that had formed beneath his lips. "Thank you."
"You're welcome!" she greeted. "Now, can you please give me my hoof back?"
Sesham suddenly realized that he was still clinging to her hoof and immediately let her go.
"Oh! I-I'm sorry!" he stepped back. "Its just… I-I just wanted to thank you, for what you did."
"Its nothing, and you're welcome, again" she said as she walked back to her own bed. "Next time be careful about what you do, and if you have trouble again just call me, alright?"
"Y-yes, of course!" he contested, his own smile forming over his face. "Thank you!"
To know that the only thing in the world was his duty to his Coven, and nothing else.
"Well, ain't that just pretty?" suddenly spoke a strange voice from the other side of the room.
All looks turned again to find a Night Guard, standing with other two, coming from the end of the barracks. Then suddenly all relief went flying through the window. A death silence was casted upon the scene not because their presence, since it was to be expected, but because what it meant. And the aspect of the officer didn't help much either.
All Umbras from the Coven looked pretty much alike in adulthood too, with brown coats, and darker manes, and the two soldiers that were flanking the one looked just as any other average adult Umbra, with their postures straight and their eyes fixed on the front. The leader, on the other way, was a much more intimidating vision. His fur was grayish black and his mane, or what could be seen, was as clear as the snow in the mountain side. His gesture was frowned, and his amber armor notched in the points where enemy blades had tried and failed to reach his meat. His face was covered in scars of his no doubt violent past, and he had half ear missing. His eyes were two dead spots of black where nothing could be seen save for the extensive potential to hate, to inflict grief…
Sesham stared at him without blinking while they neared their distance. Besides the fact that he obviously wasn't from the same Coven, for a moment he wondered if they all were going to end like that when they were older.
"So…" continued the officer as he closed to the place where everything had happened, showing how tall he was in comparison with the simple cubs. "I was sent here to clarify a ruckus" he stepped in the center of the looks, raising his voice for all to hear. "Anyone care to tell me what was the fuss all about, or will I have to pick volunteers?"
The question was simple, though coming from him it hit everyone like if he had just threatened to eat them if they'd talk. Lest to say that none dared to speak in the presence of such an intimidating hulk. Sesham was amongst the scared as well, not daring to say a word of the incident for fear of him fixing his terrifying eyes on him.
But his common sense started to clear its way through his fright. Now this was serious. Not only would the entire troop be punished if they didn't snap out, but it could turn against him as well. How long would it take for that other cub to realize that he could talk first. How long before he starts messing with him again? Taly could fend him off this time, but she wouldn't be there to protect him all the time… No, it had to be done, no matter how much his insides wanted to tell him otherwise. He was about to speak up when his benefactor stepped out first.
"I-it was my fault, sir" Taly suddenly spoke, drawing the attention of the officer like a spotlight over her. "I saw a fight and I tried to break through, but I couldn't manage before it was too late…" she briefly gazed upon Sesham. "I'm sorry, sir."
The officer showed no emotion. If anything his expression turned harder. "A fight?" he asked as he neared Taly, not looking anywhere else rather than her. "How was that?"
Taly stood her ground at first, but couldn't manage to withstand the whole attention of the veteran over her. The next time she spoke, she was stammering. "Y-you see… I… I was seeing this recruit being bullied and… and… I though…"
"… that you couldn't stand there and do nothing" he completed, still motionless. "Well, thank you for your honesty, cadet" he turned to the rest. "A fine example to be followed, aren't I right? To act on one's own…" That didn't felt nearly as good as it ought to. It looked like he would leave tally alone, but before she went out of his reach, he extended his wing and dragged her along. "Would you mind to point me the implicated, cadet?" he asked her, but there was nothing comforting in his voice.
Taly obeyed, and reluctantly pointed her hoof to Sesham, who by the time he acknowledged had already the horrible look of the officer on him. The officer made a gesture to the other Night Guards, who had remained in their posts all the time, and came closer to him, his height ever growing until they were facing each other.
"Is this the one?" he asked again to Taly.
She nodded, but not without looking at Sesham with concern. Sesham was about to say something when he suddenly felt the hoof of the officer grab him by the jaw and start to turn his head without niceness. Even through the metal touch of the battle horseshoe, he could feel that there was nothing soft in the hoof that was bearing him like if he were an object for study. Too much time of holding a sword, or a halberd's shaft.
The officer inspected the beaten side of his face without blinking, just staring at every single inch of his bruised face. "I see…" he sighed as he let him go.
"It's normal for some freshcubs to be bullied in platoons recently recruited" spoke one of the guards. "Its just part of cadet's life-"
"And when did I asked for your opinion, soldier?" the officer cut him without turning, then turned to Taly again. "Did you do this to him?" she immediately shook her head. "Then who did?"
A hoof pointed in the direction of the other cub, who had just watched everything from his own bed. Sesham followed the thrilling sight of the officer to his next objective, and despite he couldn't watch his face directly, he formed himself an idea of what should have looked like, as he saw with morbid amusement how the expression of the accused turned from shocked to one of horror.
Perhaps the next victim would have ran away if it weren't because before he realized the size of the trouble he were in the officer was already on his way to his bunk, nothing even near to relief in his features. Somehow, seeing him marching with that aggressive pace, Sesham had a bad feeling about this.
But was he?
"Hold her" the officer handled Taly to his escort upon reaching the bed, then turned to the other one. "You, kiddo!" he called with a thundering voice, making the adverted jump. "On your fours, cadet, state your name!"
The youngling found himself struggling with his surprise to follow orders, but in the end he compelled, frightened to death just to stand before him. "B-Besw… Besw Harn."
"Besw Harn, sir!" the officer ordered as he leaned a hoof on his shoulder, grabbing him tightly.
"Besw Harn, sir!" he exclaimed, trembling under his grasp.
"You think you're tough, cadet? You think you're apt to outstand this whole troop? Do you want to become a Night Guard!?"
Besw looked like didn't know which one to answer, but apparently his nervousness spoke for him. "Sir… yes sir!"
If he only knew what he was up to… But he, and no one perhaps, really didn't see it coming.
"THEN SAY IT LIKE IF YOU MEAN IT!" with his powerful shout, the free hoof of the officer had risen up and had slapped Besw in plain face, making a sound so loud that even the other Night Guards winced upon seeing it, lest to say the expressions of horror in the other cub's faces. Besw had tried to step away, but found himself unable to as the grip of his tormentor was firm. The officer carried on. "Again, recruit, DO YOU WANT TO BE A NIGHT GUARD!?"
Besw was equally shocked from the hit, but he managed to answer, squealing for the pain. "Sir, yes si-" another slap, just as hard as the last one but in the other side.
"Now, does a Night Guard acts against his Coven!?"
"Sir, no sir!" this time he waited for Besw to finish before lending another one.
"Does a Night Guard neglects the needs of his people!?"
"Sir, no sir!" another one. His eyes were starting to water, but Besw was able to contain it… for now.
"Does a Night Guard would commit felony against his own!?" this time he didn't wait until he respond, and slapped him anyway. "DOES HE!?"
Besw had to fight through his sobbing, but still he answered. "S-SIR, NO SIR!"
The present stood in thrilling silence. The act was still horrifying, true, but this time the resilience that had demonstrated Besw, even though he was at the edge of breaking, and with his face red from the beating, had inspired something closer to respect from everyone, even from Sesham, who was feeling sorry for the punishment that he had to undergo because of his own lack of self control. The only one who didn't look like encouraged after a second was his punisher himself, who, if all, seemed more vexed at his still defiant look.
"Are you toying with me?" he asked in a threatening manner. Besw was about to answer when he began to slap him repeatedly. "Do you not know your place, recruit, or are you stupid enough to stand up agains me!?" every word was accompanied by its own strike, and by the end of it the frightening veteran had already slapped him at leas ten times before closing. But the worst was yet still to come.
He finished his sentence, and his beating, with a slap stronger than the others, that struck him in the right side of his face almost like if he had punched him directly. The hit resonated throughout the whole building, and Besw crashed over the floor as the officer let him go, his eyes closed and his limbs limp, completely knocked out from that last punch. Everyone gasped in awe, and even the two Night Guards didn't know wether to intervene or to stand firm. In any case, they bend forward, like if even they wouldn't be in accordance with what he did, but the officer himself wasn't finished handing out punishments.
"Hopefully that'll put you in your place" he sentenced to the unconscious cub, as Besw seemed to slowly return to conscience, showing to everybody, to their relief, that he wasn't dead. The officer then turned to Taly. "And you…" the addressed crouched in fear at his call. "Since you are so worried to handle the affairs of this troop on your own you can take the first watch" he turned to the guard that held her. "Watch this cadet and report to me if she falls asleep, are we understood?"
The soldier, regaining conscience of who he was, stood straight again and fixed his eyes to the front. "Sir, yes sir!" he remained firm, but extended a wing to embrace Taly, and from his eyes allowed a sympathetic look to peek down to her. If the officer would've seen it he'd reprehend him as well, but, fortunately for them, he had turned to the others.
Perhaps not.
"The strength of the Night Guard is his troop, and the strength of the troop are its Night Guards!" he spoke so everyone could hear. "If we are to prevail we must remain as one. Divisions will tear us; selfishness will hinder us" he gazed at every respective cub while talking. "…And weakness…" he looked upon Sesham, still with fire in his eyes. "Weakness will drag us down the slope of misery until we're nothing but filled graves" he turned to the others again. "If that would have happened, then your Coven wouldn't stand today, and our people, our race, wouldn't even exist! Do you understand what that means? The sacrifices we've made in order to ensure the continuity of our people?" he waited for a moment to let his words settle int their minds. When he determined that enough time had passed, he turned to the exit an proceeded to leave with the remaining Night Guard behind. "Then off to sleep! You'll need to rest, for tomorrow your real education begins."
Yet, war is something interesting.
He stood in the doorframe as Taly and her escort moved to stand firm at each side of it, then looked upon the rest of the cubs, who were all turning the lights off and sinking into their beds with mechanical procedure, save for Besw, who was more crawling into his sheets, fighting his exhaustion and pain at the same time. The officer stood like that, vigilant, as, for a moment, a sinister smile grew on his features, like if some dark thought had come across his mind, but whatever it was he kept it to himself. He just turned before leaving to the guard beside the door.
"Tomorrow, first hour, all formed" and then he went away, getting lost in the world outside that for those cadets was going surely to be prohibited for most of their cubhood.
Shadow fell over the room. From her advantageous position, Taly could see the perfectly accommodated beds as they stood with its occupants, silent and unshaken, except one; the only one that now worried her, because, though at first it couldn't be heard, Besw's silent crying gradually became stronger until his sobbing was in every pair of ears of the inhabitants of that place. Taly stood firm as much a she could, but unlike her companion she just didn't had the preparation to ignore a little cub's heartbreaking cry of pain and help. Even though she had bared witness to his brutal disciplining, she still could only imagine what he could be going through right now, and that was the worst part, not knowing how much grief he was withstanding, and even if Besw was already a moron at her eyes, no one deserved to be treated like that, specially not a child.
"Its alright" suddenly spoke the guard beside her, not looking anywhere but the front. "You can go and comfort him. I won't tell the captain, I promise" Taly turned to him, puzzled. It took a minute for her to acknowledge who was he really talking to. "Go" he prompted again. "I won't go anywhere."
Taly doubted for a second. She knew she had her orders and had all the intention not to disobey them. But on the other hoof… "T-thank you, sir" she said as she broke her position.
"Don't mention it. Just make this night easier" he sighed.
Taly walked along the line of bunks, moving closer to the right one. She knew that the others were awake as well, but wouldn't dare to stand up for fear of being punished, and after seeing the barbaric beating of Besw, with a good reason. After all no one with a conscience would sleep with those inconsolable laments rattling through the air.
Taly stood before his bed for a moment, and was ready to get closer when she suddenly spotted something else. At first it wasn't clear, but when her eyes adjusted the surprise didn't fir in her expression. Beside the headboard of the bed was standing Sesham as well, leaned over the sunken form of Besw as he mumbled unintelligibly to his ear.
Did he just got there?
"It's okay" he was whispering. "It's okay, just… relax."
Taly stood dumbstruck as he saw how Sesham comforted Besw, even though he was the one that had hit him not even twenty minutes ago. Still, he narrowed his nuzzle to where surely lied his ear and mumbled. Taly couldn't catch it, but it surely must have been something to calm him, because Besw's crying, as progressively as it had risen, lowered until it became nothing more than a whisper, and then finally disappeared.
Silence felt like a relief now, and even though Taly couldn't actually hear it, she could swear that there was a general sigh of liberation from all the other mouths as well. Sesham, seeing that he was probably asleep, stepped away, and set way to his bed until he found Taly just by turning. Then he petrified upon seeing her, standing at the end of his way, shrinking in what surely was embarrassment. Taly smiled to him again, but this time he didn't returned it.
And maybe, just maybe, a useless recruit as he was could someday become handy…
It looked like he wouldn't talk, so she took the initiative. "That was amazing, what you did!" she said in a mutter, loud enough for him to hear. "How did you do it?"
Sesham seemed to shrink even more before responding. "I-I… sang. To him" he contested in the same way. "My mother used to do it when I got sick or cried a lot. She used to calm me…" he inspired deeply, and looked like was about to cry, but he didn't.
"I'm… sorry to hear that" she continued. "…But I know what you mean. My mother used to sing to me too."
Sesham rose his head to this, his figure reassuming its actual size, and looked at her in a more sympathetic way. "Really?"
"Sure! She had a beautiful voice. Did your mom was a good singer too?"
This seemed to touch him deep, as he lowered the volume of his voice markedly. "Yes… she was…" he wiped something from his eye. "I guess then… that we are really the same, you know?"
"Really? How so?"
His confidence slipped a little more, but he talked anyway. "Well, we're all… sad."
"Sad?" she puzzled. "Why?"
"I don't know" he shrugged. "We'll never see our parents again, talk to them, or be with them. And they'll… they just will never see us again. I don't know why is this, but I don't like it… Yet… I can't do anything to stop it. It's just the way that things are, aren't they? And we have no vote here because we're just-"
"Cubs?"
"…Lonely" he completed. "That's why we're sad. Because we feel alone" his eyes matched with Taly's, and in that moment she completely witnessed his point.
He was right, in both of them were a black emptiness, and not only because of the dark. There was a sensation of abandonment, of resignation that had sinked in the bottom of their souls, and that Taly had just realized that she had just buried, like a treasure too beautiful yet too painful to contemplate again.
Both remained like that for a second, then split. Too long had been the contact for them to withstand it for now. Taly opened the way, and Sesham walked to pass her. She watched him with a concerned expression, but he didn't seem to notice until the last second, when he unexpectedly stood at her side, still facing the direction of his bed.
Another deep breathe. "Its nothing, really" he mumbled. "Only that… Is something that I thought just now… You don't have to give it importance, and if you don't want me to talk to you again, I'll-"
Suddenly a wing wrapped around his neck, and held him tight. Not with strength or dourness, but with the care and touch that he already was resigned to have lost, and that he already missed. A friendly heat that once had promised him that nothing in the world could go wrong again. An illusion of something that suddenly had become so distant.
As handy as his fate made him.
"I won't leave you alone" she whispered with a shiver in her voice. "…Never!"
So familiar. It was so familiar that… Sesham gave another exhalation, but even he couldn't resist to be hit that deep within and he broke to tears as well. Not crying, since it would be the same liability, but silently watering, letting the salty drops slide down his face and into Taly's wings, rolling like rain until they reach the floor. Taly was doing the same, since he felt a watery sensation roll down his neck, where she had leaned her head, but he was okay with it. For as long as that moment'd last, they were suddenly something more than just one recruit and another. There is a bond that only two closest beings can share, even if they are too young to notice it.
Both broke apart after that, each one headed for their personal night. Each one with eyes as red as the pain that they had just let go. Sesham looked once again to Taly for a second as she made her way to the entrance, but not this time with bashfulness or fear, but with apprehension, with brotherly care, for he was now staring into the figure of one of the best friends he'd awkwardly made in a day. Perhaps it won't be so bad, he thought as he crawled into his own bed. Perhaps… this will be better than I thought…
And then he sank into his own mind for as long as he could rest that night.
And that is, precisely, what this story is about.
Inspiration:
"Like a cloud of storm": Caracol (Featured/translated) - Muna Zul
I don't wanna miss a thing - Irosmith
Es hora de marchar - Mago de Oz
Responsible for - Snake Like Charm
Hubris - Living Syndication
Running up that hill - Placebo's cover
