Chapters It's Cool To Be Broody and Distant
Quick on her feet, Sunrise burst into the Golden Oaks library, marching straight where she knew her mother would be. The kitchen. Already the delicious aroma of whatever she was making for dinner struck her nose, which Sunrise found hard to ignore.
"Mama! Mama, I need to talk to you right now! And I don't mean now, I mean right now! I-oh my god, what is that?! It smells awesome and I want it!" Sunrise yelled, making a beeline for the stove.
Ascentia chuckled and lifted a spoon out of the pot, holding it out to her, "I decided since we don't have a family sauce recipie, I'd make one. Try it!"
"Ma! I need to-yes I will, thank you!" Sunrise did so, sampling the sauce. She smacked her lips, then grinned, "Wow, that's delish! I love it!"
Ascentia grinned and went back to stirring it, jotting a few things down, "Good. Homemade spagetti and meatballs for supper!"
"Aw, yeah! Sounds awesome already!" Sunrise cheered, patting her stomach, "Seriously Mama, you could make an epic awesome cookbook with your culinary magic, I swear."
Ascentia shrugged, "Hmm, sounds like a plan. But then the Kitten would be out of the bag, and a magician never reveals her secrets."
"Oh, fine," Sunrise pouted, "Anyway, I had to come home 'cause we need to talk. You said some things today, all these... implications. Now before you come at me with 'Oh grow up', don't. I'm serious. If you can just please listen to me, that's what I'm asking right now."
Ascentia threw a handful of spice into the sauce, stirring it with a big grin, "Alright, what's on your mind, Sunny?"
"Mama, you said... Well, you said this...implication about incest," Sunrise said, sitting down at the table now, "And sure it was kinda weird on its own, but whatever. But Speccy was telling me something about it. He said that parents or family at all don't usually make that joke unless they actually are thinking about it."
"I wouldn't say that's true," Ascentia shrugged, "Otherwise with how often Scootaloo calls Spectrum a motherfucker it'd... okay not the best example now that I think about it. Anyway, if you're asking if I've ever thought about you joining me and your Mom in bed, no. I was just making a dark joke, I thought it was funny."
Sunrise gaped, "...W-Why? Why? I'm your daughter! I know some people are all into the incest thing, okay, fine, but why make that kind of joke?"
Ascentia shrugged, "I dunno. I have a sick sense of humor?"
"Well, whatever," Sunrise looked away, "Just, uh... keep it to yourself, 'kay? I love you and Mom, I really do. I know I... can kinda be a little bit of a rough teenager and all, but still. I'm not into that kinda thing."
"Relax, Sunrise," Ascentia chuckled, "I get it, it's creepy to you. But honestly it's not that big a deal. Look at the Cakes. Look at your boyfriend for fuck's sake."
"You know?!"
"Of course I know!"
"How?!"
"He told me."
"He tells you these things?!"
"You kids tell me everything!" Ascentia laughed, "I'm like everyone's cool big sister. I can vividly recall Sweetie Belle opening up to me to come to terms with being a randy little girl. I could put that dipshit Firebrand out of business."
Sunrise snorted, wringing her fingers, "...When'd he tell you?"
"I dunno... what was it, last year? Around the time he first started realizing it," Ascentia shrugged, "Last time I ever listen to a fifteen year old describe his lurid fantasies, I'll tell you that."
"...He told you... but not... not... me..." Sunrise got up from her chair, looking crestfallen, "Not until today..."
Ascentia laughed loudly at this, "Oh yeah Sunrise. Great idea. Tell the girl he's got a searing crush on that sort of thing. While we're at it, let's give him a Sylvia Plath book and a bottle of Ambian."
"Okay, okay, I get it!" Sunrise snapped, "Whatever. I'm going to my room. See ya," she left the kitchen without another word.
"Hey hey! What's wrong?" Ascentia asked, "C'mon Sunrise, sit down."
"I'm fine!" Sunrise called back.
Entering the room from the backdoor, Twilight looked at her in confusion, "Kitten? What happened?"
"Little Miss Moody wanted to talk about those cracks I was making earlier, then we got to talking about Spectrum, and she just stormed off in one of her moods," Ascentia huffed, turning back to the pot.
"Oh," Twilight took off her gardening gloves and went to wash her hands, "What did you say that upset her?"
"I pointed out the ridiculousness of the idea of Spectrum telling the girl he's had a huge crush on since they were three some of his most disturbing secrets," Ascentia shrugged.
"What disturbing secrets?"
"None of your business," Ascentia said.
Twilight sighed, shrugging, "Well... I guess she's just a little bit miffed about the fact that you have his deepest darkest secret, and she doesn't. Or, didn't? Either way, Spectrum does mean a lot to her, and to have one of her own mothers keeping one of his secrets? Much less a pretty... deep one? Yeah, that kind of makes most teenagers feel a bit low."
"Yeah, and imagine how the poor kid would feel if I started spreading his secrets around?" Ascentia asked, "He came to me like all the others do. Because everyone else is going to talk to them like they're fucking two years old. And when all they want to do is just sort their shit out with someone else to help sift through it, I'm the only one who'll do that. So am I supposed to now turn around and tell Sunrise what Spectrum told me just because she's really attached to the boy?"
"No," Twilight said patiently, "Look, I think Sunrise is aware of this. She's a smart girl. But you just have to look at it from her point of view. I know her moody response is a bit irrational, but I can't say I blame her. She isn't quite looking at the big picture. You just give her a few minutes. She'll be fine. Sometimes, well, I guess feeling like someone can't trust you enough to tell you something can hurt a little."
"It's not a trust issue, Twilight. It's just embarassing," Ascentia replied, "Spectrum never told her, not because he didn't trust her, but because he was embarassed about it. And I know you're standing at the top of the stairs eavesdropping, so I hope you're paying attention!"
"Sunny? Sunny, come on downstairs," Twilight called up to her, "We can talk about this."
There was silence for a few moments. Then followed by loud footsteps descending the stairs, before Sunrise came into the kitchen.
"Well, fine! Go ahead! I get it! Oh boohoo, poor wittle Sunrise, getting all irrational and-"
"Honey, calm down," Twilight said firmly, "Look. I know how you're feeling right now, but your mother is right."
Sunrise groaned, sitting down at the table, "Fine, whatever. I get it."
Ascentia rolled her eyes and turned back to the stove, mumbling something under her breath.
Exhaling, Twilight looked between the two, "All right, let's settle this, okay? Sunny, you need to look at the big picture about this. Spectrum needed a little bit of direct guidance about... whatever issue he was telling your mother about. You know how she is, she has her way of dealing with this kind of thing. And it helps, it really does. Don't take it personally. No one is trying to take anyone away from you. I know you want to be Spectrum's most trusted confidant, but sometimes, he needs help you can't give him. It's not your fault, okay?"
"...Fine," Sunrise sighed, looking away a bit, "Fine. I know I'm not some super wise grown up who can help him out, whatever."
"That's not what I mean," Twilight coaxed, "It doesn't mean you're incapable or imcompetent. It just means that you have to help him in other ways. In ways you're best at. You're his best friend. I've seen the two of you growing up together. No one can take that away from you. Don't worry about it. If anything, be thankful that Spectrum feels he can even talk to her, or even me."
"...I guess," Sunrise mumbled, "It's nice he can get along with you guys."
Turning around and setting two plates down in front of them, Ascentia turned back to the stove, "Dinner's ready when you two are."
"Thank you, sweetheart," Twilight stood up to get some glasses and utensils, "Sunny? Sunny, you can talk to us. What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Sunrise half-yelled, "Just forget it, okay?! I don't care anymore! It's done! What's done is done, it doesn't matter anymore! Fini!"
Ascentia turned back around, "Oh for fuck's sake Flutter... shit... Sunrise! Just cut the crap and tell us what's wrong!"
"Were you seriously about to call her Fluttershy?" Twilight laughed.
"She's doing the thing that... never mind, bite me," Ascentia said, sticking her tongue out at her.
"You really kind of forgot she hasn't done that in over a decade?" Twilight snorted, "Living in the past much? Whatever, we're having a talk about that later, missy. In the meantime, Sunny, what's wrong?"
"You know what's wrong! I told you already!" Sunrise looked away again, letting out a huff, "What do you want from me?! You know what's wrong, you know why I'm getting all angry here! Just get off my back!"
"We're not on your back, Sunny," Ascentia said flatly, "You're doing the same shit we did in high school. Making a mountain out of a molehill because it's cool to be broody and distant."
"Fuck off!"
"Don't you talk to your mother that way!" Twilight scolded.
"She's not really my mother!"
All three of them fell silent. Twilight looked shocked, Sunrise was angry, but Ascentia simply stood there. The two of them looked up at her, as she made a few attempts to respond. After failing to come up with a retort, her lip quivered and she turned away from them, rushing out the door.
"...Sunrise Celestia Sparkle, what in the world did you say that for?" Twilight turned to her, hands on her hips.
"Me?! It's true, you know! I'M the one making a big deal out of this?! You guys know why I wasn't exactly Little Miss Sunshine!" Sunrise stood from her seat, "She really isn't my Mom, anyway! Just... forget it, okay?!"
"Sunrise, that's not the point," Twilight ground out, "You practically told her that just because she isn't your biological mother, she isn't your real mother. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
Sunrise opened her mouth again, but then drew back, falling silent.
There was a knock on the open door, and the two women turned to see a nervous looking Spectrum standing there.
"I... you left your Ipod at my place," he said tentatively, "...Why is Aunt Ascentia crying?"
"It's nothing you need to concern yourself about, Spectrum," Twilight said softly, taking the iPod from him, "We just need to sort some things out."
"...Okay," Spectrum said, backing away a bit, "...Are you still coming back over for dinner, Sunny?"
Before Sunrise could respond, Twilight cut across her, "No she's not. She's grounded."
"What?!" Sunrise balked.
Twilight motioned for Spectrum to go. Once he shut the door, she started up again, "Did you think you were going to get off scott free for what you just said to your mother? No way. Now upstairs, to your room and stay there the rest of the night."
"Ma, come on! That's not fair! I didn't-I... I didn't mean what I said! I was just mad, that's all!" Sunrise protested, "I just gotta go and tell her I'm sorry!"
"You can wait until she get's back," Twilight said sternly, "Now march!"
Letting out a frustrated yell, Sunrise stormed up the stairs, followed by slamming her bedroom door loudly. Twilight sat down at the table, rubbing her temples and wondering who she should be more mad at.
"This was a lot simpler back when I could just... No! Bad thoughts! Think happy thoughts!" Twilight groaned, her nails digging into her forehead.
Ask Me To Marry You, Goddammit
Ascentia sat at a picnic table not far off from the Golden Oaks Library. Her knuckles pressed firmly to her mouth as she tried with futility to stop her crying. Tears flowing slowly down her cheeks and getting into some of the deeper scars along her neck and shoulders, stinging a little.
"Ascentia? Hey, what are you doing out here? Why are you crying?" Came a soft, squeaky voice.
Ascentia looked up momentarily, "Hey Sweetie Belle... I'll be f-fine. You go back to... whatever you were doing."
"I was just on my way to get some groceries," Sweetie Belle said, "We're working through the night at the farm, so I'm getting everyone some food. But I can take a few minutes. What happened? I don't think I've ever seen you cry before."
"Sunrise and the two of us were arguing, she told me to fuck off and Twilight told her not to speak to me that way," Ascentia choked, "And Sunrise said that... that I... wasn't really her mother..."
Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise, then sat down with her, "Oh... I'm sorry. That's terrible."
Ascentia sharply tapped her own cheeks, "C'mon, dry it up..." This only served to make it worse and she buried her face in her hands, "...We went through hell for that girl, and she has the nerve to say I'm not her mother?!"
Reaching over, Sweetie Belle gently patted her shoulder, "Come on, don't say that. She was probably just mad, anyway."
"But she's right, isn't she?" Ascentia asked, lifting her face up, "I didn't pop her out, and Twilight had to get some stranger to knock her up in the first place. I'm the worst kind of third wheel, aren't I?"
"...Seriously? Are you seriously going to say that?" Sweetie Belle snorted, "Look, it doesn't matter who the sperm donor guy is. Was he there when Sunrise fell down the stairs and broke her arm? Was he the one who watched movies with her when she wanted to have family movie night? All that stuff? He wasn't there. You were. You're her mother because you loved her like your own daughter. Just 'cause you didn't give birth or give her your genes doesn't mean you're not her Mom!"
Ascentia sniffled and nodded, "I k-know that, Sweetie Belle. I'm just being s-stupid."
Sweetie Belle shook her head, "No, you're not stupid. You're one of the smartest women I know. You're just sad, that's all. Now when you feel better, you go home and talk to her."
Ascentia reached over and pulled her into a one-armed hug, her breath quivering, "...Thanks Sweetie Belle. I needed a k-kick in the ass."
Giving a smile, Sweetie Belle hugged her, "Hey, you always gave me one when I needed it. Now it's my turn."
Ascentia hugged her tightly, wiping her eyes and taking a shaky breath, "...So... how have you been?"
"Oh, I've been good," Sweetie Belle stretched as she stood, "Although it's not been easy trying to convince Scootaloo to come live with us."
"Why won't she?" Ascentia asked, wiping her eyes again.
Sweetie Belle shrugged, "I really don't know. She spends a lot of time at the farm with Apple Bloom and me, but I don't know why she won't come live with us. I know she's happy at home with her Moms, aunt and brother, but I don't know. It's like she doesn't want to go."
"Eh, she'll come around," Ascentia smiled, "Twilight was resistant to move in with me at first too."
"Really? She was?" Sweetie Belle asked curiously.
Ascentia nodded, taking another shaky breath, "Yeah. She was all 'No! This is moving too fast! We need to think about this!' But she really just didn't want to move out of her parents house."
"Ohh, okay," Sweetie Belle nodded, "How old were you guys at the time?"
"Uh... nineteen? Yeah, nineteen. At least she was, she's older than I am," Ascentia smiled.
"Wow, that's pretty young compared to how most people do it these days!" Sweetie Belle giggled, "I guess I could understand. But Scootaloo's turning thirty. You'd think she would want to get out under her parents' shadows or something."
"Scootaloo also didn't have parents for most of her life," Ascentia reminded her, "She's... really attached to Rainbow and Fluttershy. Like... me to Twilight attached."
Sweetie Belle pondered that for a few moments, "You know, I think you're right! I never thought of it that way. She was only fourteen when she got adopted, then had to live without Rainbow Dash at home for a while, and then she turned eighteen... Yeah, makes sense. I guess it's not too bad, though. She'll come when she's ready, even if we'll be over forty if it happens!"
"Gotta say, you two sure are patient," Ascentia smiled, "I wasn't. I was itching for Twilight to move in with me, then I was pratically pleading the gods that she'd ask me to marry her."
"No way! Really?" Sweetie Belle giggled.
"Yeah," Ascentia smiled, "Like every day. I'd be mumbling it under my breath 'ask me to marry you goddammit!'"
"Not the most patient to get married, huh?" Sweetie Belle giggled, "Okay then! Well, I gotta get going now. You going to be all right?"
"Yeah, I think I'll be okay," Ascentia smiled, "Still stings like a son of a bitch, though."
Sweetie Belle patted her back, "Hey, once you two are all huggy, it won't even matter."
"I hope," Ascentia smiled, "Thanks, Sweetie Belle. You're a real sweetheart."
"No problem, see you later!" Sweetie Belle hugged her, then proceeded going the direction she'd originally been heading toward.
Ascentia took a steady breath and stood back up, striding back off to her home.
"Twilight? I'm back," Ascentia said nervously, coming through the door.
"Hey," Twilight stood up from the table, going over to her, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "At least I will be. Had a good talk with Sweetie Belle." She moved forward and opened her arms, asking for a hug.
Obliging, Twilight hugged her warmly, "I'm sorry about what Sunny said. You know she didn't mean it. She was just angry and acted out a little bit."
"I know... it was still nasty though," Ascentia said sadly.
"I know it was," Twilight coaxed, sitting her down, "Believe me, that was out of line of her and I can't believe she resorted to that. At the same time, we really shouldn't have pushed her into talking. She just wasn't ready and needed to calm down, first. She's grounded, I sent her to her room."
"Grounded? Really?" Ascentia asked, surprised, "We've... never grounded her..."
Twilight nodded, "Yes, I know. But I wasn't about to just let her get off scot-free like that. It doesn't matter how angry she is, she still does not talk to her parents like that."
"Thanks..." Ascentia said, hugging her tighter, "I appreciate you backing me up on that..."
"You're welcome," Twilight kissed her cheek, "Now, just leave her alone tonight, because she's being punished. Tomorrow morning, I want the two of you to sit down and talk. I think sleeping on it will help."
"Only if you sleep with me," Ascentia said, pulling a cute smile and kissing her cheek.
"Very funny," Twilight poked her nose, chuckling.
Ascentia kissed her nose and nuzzled up against her, "C'mooooooon. Kitten wants to snuggle!"
"You silly," Twilight nuzzled her, "All right, silly pants. Let's go upstairs and snuggle a bit. I think we could use it."
Ascentia grinned and the two retreated to their bedroom, Twilight pulling the taller woman onto their bed as the two dressed down to their underwear. Pulling the covers over the both of them, Twilight pulled Ascentia into her arms, cuddling her under her chin as her fingers traced over her back.
"Feel better, Kitten?"
Ascentia nodded, nuzzling up against Twilight's chin and cooing softly, "I always feel better like this."
"Me too," Twilight giggled, "Snuggles make everything better."
Ascentia kissed the bottom of her chin and mewled happily, "Yeah, and you're so cuddly."
Once more Twilight laughed as she played with her hair, "You can thank Cadance for that. Same for Shining Armor. Whenever I was sad or just needed a hug, they always scooped me up and cuddled me. Even after I was feeling better, I'd fake sniffles so they'd keep holding me. I just... liked it when they held me."
"Same here," Ascentia mewled, nuzzling her neck, "I just... feel so safe when you hold me, Twiley."
"I know, right?" Twilight nuzzled her, "It did take me forever to get used to snuggling with one of my friends when I first got to know them. But before long, even that was second nature to me."
Ascentia wrapped her arms tighter around her wife and thought for a moment, "...Twilight... when you first saw me come into that class in a huff twenty years ago... did you think I was attractive?"
Thinking for a few moments, Twilight shrugged, "Wow, it was over fifteen-twenty years ago, I don't remember all the details. But, I think on some level I did. It really wasn't until I got a better look at you, though."
Ascentia smiled and nuzzled closer, trying to wrap herself tighter in her wife's grip, "I always thought you were gorgeous. It's all that purple. It's such a beautiful color."
"I know, it's lovely," Twilight agreed, "I think your hair got to me first. All long and fiery red, how could I not see that eye-grabber?"
Ascentia lifted up a bit and licked her cheek, "Really? You like my hair?"
"We've been married for nearly twenty years, sweetheart," Twilight poked her nose, giggling, "I've told you that a million times. You know I love your hair. I think I've come to an appreciation for redheads."
Ascentia smiled and nuzzled her cheek, "I know, I just love hearing it from you. It feels nice."
Ruffling her hair, Twilight nuzzled her back, "That's good, because I will keep saying it."
Ascentia curled up a bit, nuzzling her head against Twilight's chest and making small mewling noises in the back of her throat, playfully batting her hand against Twilight's stomach.
"You really are just like a little kitty," Twilight mused, kissing her hair.
Ascentia licked her skin and grinned through a giggle, "Mmmhmm, am I cute?"
"Well, you are just barely approaching forty, like me, so you've got more to you than before," Twilight winked, "But you're still cute."
Ascentia sat up a bit, pouting, "What do you mean more to me?"
"You're older, of course. And by that I mean you look more mature, like a woman who has had a long life of experience," Twilight kissed her nose, "and I like it. You age very nicely, sweetheart."
Ascentia blushed and leaned in to her, dotting her neck with kisses, "I wish I could say the same, but you still look so young."
"Maybe," Twilight nuzzled her, giggling, "But not for very long. My age will be showing soon. I've already got stretch marks to help along."
Ascentia leaned her head down to her stomach and kisses one of the marks along her abdomen, "Aw, but they're pretty, Twiley."
"No way, you think so?" Twilight blinked with surprise.
Ascentia crawled back up and kissed her cheek, "I have all kinds of marks, and they're pretty. So are yours."
"Oh, fine," Twiilight pouted playfully, "But I have crow's feet."
"Who cares about your feet?" Ascentia giggled, snuggling her tighter and moaning happily.
"That's not what they-never mind," Twilight licked her playfully.
Ascentia cooed cutely and kissed along her neck, curling her legs around her and snuggling comfortably into Twilight's embrace. The affection she craved constantly making her feel warm and cozy. Nuzzling her sweetly, Twilight melted into the immense affection, returning it wholeheartedly. Ascentia nibbled her skin and grinned happily, laying her head against Twilight's shoulder as her eyelids started to feel heavy.
"Sleepy, Kitten?" Twilight asked.
Ascentia nodded softly, nuzzling up closer and cooing a bit.
"Sounds good to me, let's go to sleep," Twilight yawned a little.
Ascentia yawned and got comfortable against Twilight's body, "I love you."
"I love you too, Kitten," Twilight kissed her forehead.
Ascentia sighed and relaxed against her and closed her eyes, trailing her hand over Twilight's opposite shoulder. All the while, Twilight lay awake for some time, before she too fell asleep. Her final thought before drifting off, strangely, had been about donuts.
"Mama?"
Ascentia shifted in Twilight's arms, feeling her brain start to wake up before her body did.
"Mama?"
Groaning, she opened her eyes, feeling Twilight behind her, holding tight to her as if afraid she'll drift away in her sleep. In front of her, Sunrise stood there, running her hand through her hair.
"What is it, Sunrise?" Ascentia asked tiredly, nuzzling into her hand reflexively.
"...Mama, I'm sorry. I was...being kinda bitchy, and not even really thinking clearly. I didn't mean it when I said you weren't my real Mama," Sunrise said, sniffling a bit, "But who cares. I never did before, so why now? Still, I'm sorry."
Ascentia propped herself up a bit, rubbing her eyes, "What you said really hurt, Sunrise. It'd be like if you'd snapped at your mother for... well this," she indicated the numerous scars and marks covering her body.
This confused Sunrise a bit, "I'm not sure I follow."
"Well, let's say you got really angry at your Mom one day and decided to hit her where it hurt and yelled at her for all that abuse she put me through before you were born," Ascentia explained groggily, "Not only is that already a sensitive issue for her, but she can't deny it, can she? And I love you so much, Sunrise. And a tiny bit of me hates the fact that I'm not your biological mother. So when you said that to me..." she trailed off and looked down at the floor, "...Never mind. I don't want to fight anymore."
Blinking, Sunrise crawled over and hugged her, "Okay. But Mama, I don't care. You guys told me he was some anonymous test tube, anyway. You don't have to be my bio Mama. ...Although it'd be cool if I had your hair!"
Ascentia mewled softly and hugged her daughter in return, tearing up a little, and stroked her hair, "Thanks, Sunny. I love you."
"I love you too, Mama," Sunrise nuzzled her.
Ascentia sighed happily, snuggling her little girl while her big girl snugged her from behind. For a very brief moment, Ascentia's mind was competely clear of any doubt or fear. Something she hadn't felt since her and Twilight first started dating back in school.
Kissing Sunrise's cheek, Ascentia reluctantly wriggled her way out of Twilight's grip, "How about we go make breakfast for your Mom for putting up with our shit all week?"
"Sure," Sunrise managed a smile, "That'd be cool."
Sitting up and throwing a robe on, Ascentia stumbled to her feet and led Sunrise downstairs, "Alright, time to teach you how to cook..."
"...Aren't you going to put on more clothes than that?" Sunrise asked, following her.
"I'll be fine, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Grease burns?"
"Hah, ask me how I got this big slice scar on my neck some time," Ascentia laughed.
"O-kay...?" Sunrise was not sure how to respond to that.
"It's a joke," Ascentia smiled, "...Admittedly it's a really dark joke, but still a joke."
Sunrise shrugged, "I guess so, Mama. So, what are we gonna make?"
"Hmm..." Ascentia peered through the fridge, pondering the contents, "How does omlettes sound?"
"Sure, let's do it," Sunrise said, going to the cupboard to search for spices.
Casting a glance at her for a moment, Ascentia pulled the carton out of the fridge and set it on the counter. Grabbing a pan from the cupboard, she gave it a twirl and set it on the stove, turning the heat on.
"Cut up some celery, tomatoes, and some ham while you're at it," she said, pulling out the vegatables and meat while throwing some bacon onto a plate.
Nodding, Sunrise obliged as she retrieved a knife and cutting board, "Mom's going to be so happy when she sees all this."
"Well maybe not this persay," Ascentia shrugged, "She's never liked watching me cook unless I'm in nothing but an apron. But she'll certainly love the surprise."
Sunrise blushed at the image, "Yeah, that's what I meant..."
Ascentia turned a smirk to her, "Oh, you're blushing now? Not running off screaming 'EWWWW'?"
Getting an idea, Sunrise giggled, "Doesn't mean I wasn't thinkin' it."
"Usually that goes the other way around," Ascentia said, playfully shoulder-shoving her.
"Shut up," Sunrise stuck her tongue out at her.
Ascentia reached down and playfully slapped her butt, "Just cut the veggies, missy."
"Ah!" Sunrise squeaked, jumping from the gesture, "Mama!" She paused, then slapped her butt right back, "Ha! Take that!"
"Jokes on you, I love being spanked," Ascentia said, hip-checking her.
"That's the first time you or Mom ever spanked me," Sunrise realized.
"Well your mother was always terrified of getting angry and hitting you, and I'm about as frightening as... well, a Kitten," Ascentia shrugged, "Plus, I always thought spanking a child was the sign you were a shitty parent anyway. It's like, what does a kid have to be doing that warrants hitting them? Most kids are less than three feet tall, what threat are they to anything?"
"Man, no kidding! Speccy and I were watching this show on cable once, it was telling stories about how some parents were hitting their kids to discipline them. You know, for back-talking, spanking, and stuff," Sunrise made a face, "I told Speccy that you nor Mom spanked me, and he said his Moms and Aunt never spanked him, either. One of the kids actually came on the show and talked about how his parents spanked him and made him afraid of them."
"Yeah, we never had to spank you for anything. You were born with ears, so we can just talk to you," Ascentia huffed, "Same with Spectrum's parents. Rainbow's a lot of things, but violent isn't one of them. And Fluttershy hits as hard as a gentle breeze across the face of a cheerful baby."
"She did break a guy's nose once, but he had it coming," Sunrise giggled, "But yeah, seriously. I never got that whole back-talking thing. I remember someone at school came with a bruise and she said that it was because her dad hit her. I asked her why and she said it was because she was a back-talker! Kinda like she had it coming or something. I even said that it was abuse, but she got angry and defended her parents, saying that it helps shape her up to be more disciplined, watch her mouth, and obey her parents like a good girl should. That was creepy!"
Ascentia nodded, then lifted her head, "Yeah, my father was big into corporal punishment too. Not hitting me, but things like push-ups when I misbehaved. Kinda why I'm so strong."
Thinking that over as she chopped some ham, Sunrise bit her lip, "...I'm not sure whether that's unbelievably cruel or at least better than being hit..."
Ascentia growled, "It hurt. A lot. I don't mean like, ten push ups for misbehaving. I'm talking a hundred, or two hundred."
"Oh GOD, that's just...that's freaking impossible!" Sunrise cringed.
"Oh believe me, I know," Ascentia said, huffing a bit, "Nothing worse for a seven year old girl than being asked to do fifty push ups for bad grades. I don't mean a C, I'm talking a Deferred Mark for doing so little work in a class. I'll say this, he usually let the time fit the crime, but it was still enough to hurt."
"Jeez! If I have any kids, I'll...uh... send them to a room where they can't play with their toys! Or put them against a corner in the wall or something."
"Well... that's what we did with you a lot, but after a while it doesn't work," Ascentia replied, "While I think that kind of exercise is beyond excessive, I'll say that my father's method was pretty obvious: Make your kid do something they don't enjoy doing. But hitting your kids makes no sense. They have no involvement in it besides laying there and taking it. What is the incentive to not misbehave? With spanking, it's just pain. That's abusive if you do it to a dog, and yet with a kid it's totally fine?"
Sunrise made a face again, "Urgh, talk about double standard. How about both are abusive?"
"Well it is," Ascentia replied, "It's assault. Hitting another person has always been assault, and it will always be assault. It's just that nobody treats a kid's problems like an actual problem. Why do you think every kid in town likes talking to me? I talk to them like they're adults, and not a puppy. Even your mother does that."
"It's like they think that having kids live in fear of misbehaving is what makes them good kids," Sunrise snorted, "Yeah, uh, nope! I kinda remember that living in fear is counter-productive to parents."
"And like I said, for Twilight it's a particular button," Ascentia said, cracking some eggs over the pan and making it fall over the bacon, "The reason she went to therapy so much is because she was afraid she'd become abusive toward you. Afraid she'd take her anger out on you the way she did me."
"And yet this thought never occurred to her when it was just the two of you?" Sunrise asked.
Ascentia looked up from the pan, "...Huh... never realized that."
"Guess you learn something new every day," Sunrise giggled.
Ascentia looked down at the pan, a troubled expression on her face, "...Would she have..."
"Mama? You okay?"
"...It's just... if we'd never decided we wanted to have kids..." Ascentia said, looking down at the frying egg, "...Would she have just kept beating me?"
Sunrise blinked, "...Wow. That's... gee, I never thought of it that way."
She pondered a few moments, then heard a sound by the front door.
"Mail's here! I'll go get it."
Sunrise put the knife down, going to the front door, where the letters lay on the mat. Picking them up, she brought them to the kitchen, seeing if anything was of interest to her. Not quite, but she did find a letter addressed to Twilight, with a certain return address.
"Hey, Mom's got a letter from Uncle Spike!" She announced.
Ascentia rolled her eyes in irritation, and set her utensils down, "Well put it down where she'll find it. Spike writes to her all the time."
Sunrise set them down, nodding, "So, uh... yeah, let's uh... keep going, I guess."
"With breakfast or the conversation?" Ascentia asked.
"Mama! It's got nothing to do with me!"
"What doesn't?" Came Twilight's voice from the doorway.
Ascentia took a steady breath, pondering whether or not she should confront Twilight about what just came to her.
"Nothing, Ma! We were just-"
"Twilight, if we had never had Sunrise, would you have just kept torturing me?" Ascentia asked, turning around to face her.
"Mama! Way to lay it on thick!" Sunrise groaned.
Ascentia glared at her and pointed to the vivid mark running across her throat, "I got this when she was holding a knife to my throat, don't fucking tell me I'm laying it on thick."
Twilight's tired eyes went wide, "...What? What are you talking about?"
"It just came to me that when you started going through all your therapy, all you kept saying was how scared you were of hurting Sunrise. How you were afraid this would carry over to her. But only maybe a few times you talked about what you were doing to me. It was all about what you were afraid you'd do to her," Ascentia said, shaking a little, "...So... if we never had Sunrise, would all that have just kept going?"
Now Twilight had no idea how to react. She had just gotten up and was now being confronted with a past serious issue; but moreover, Ascentia was actually upset about it more than she'd probably ever displayed. Off guard, she stood in place, looking all around, biting her lip.
"...I don't know," she said honestly, not looking at either of them, "I-I don't know."
Ascentia took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have dropped that on you when you just got up..."
"I..." Twilight couldn't speak, she just sat down on the table, holding her head. The moment she saw the envelopes on the table, one in particular, she grabbed it and clutched it tightly, "I have to go get changed."
She got up and left the kitchen without another word.
Ascentia was surprised, then felt ashamed of herself, "...I hope that's not my fault..."
Sunrise exhaled, shrugging, "Heck if I know, Mama. I mean, it's not what happened and in the freaking past, so it's no use worrying about it."
Ascentia sighed a little and turned back to the pan, "Sunrise, there's a reason nobody so much as laid a finger on you. I'm the reason."
"But... didn't you always tell me not to worry about it? Didn't you say that to everyone else?"
"I say a lot of things, Sunny," Ascentia sighed, "I openly told Twilight I liked it because the thought of her ever leaving scares the ever loving shit out of me. But it hurt. It hurt so much. And she was just... so angry. All the time. I was terrified of her, and prayed to gods I don't even believe in why she couldn't just calm down and give me a hug instead of punching me in the jaw." Her hands started to shake as she started having flashbacks.
"..Mama?" Sunrise awkwardly stepped back, "Mama, seriously, this is getting heavy. Y-You okay?"
Ascentia sat down and put her fingers to her head, her breathing starting to become rapid, "...Get your mother."
Sunrise squeaked, then hurried upstairs, "Mom! Mom, come down, quick! Mama's freaking out!"
Twilight came down, looking confused, "What is-" she spotted Ascentia and her eyes widened, "Oh my god!
Rushing over, she set a chair next to her and pulled Ascentia into her arms, stroking her hair as she tightly held to her.
"Sunny, in the top drawer there's a blue bottle," she said, "Please hand it to me."
Doing so, Sunrise retrieved the bottle and handed it to her, "Why? What is it?"
Twilight popped the top and shook out two white pills, taking a glass of water and holding it to Ascentia's lips, "Here Kitten, take this for me," she said softly, rubbing her back.
Ascentia shakily took the glass into her hand as Twilight popped the pills into her mouth. Taking a sip, she swallowed and set the glass down, wrapping herself tightly into Twilight's embrace and shivering.
"Your mother has PTSD, and she just had an episode," Twilight explained in a very soft voice.
Sunrise, however, was puzzled, "...Pretty Traumatic Super Dementia?"
Twilight shook her head, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."
"OH! ...Oh..." Sunrise nodded, "...Mom? Is it... I mean... would you really have gotten therapy even if you weren't having me?"
Twilight nodded, keeping her soft tone as she ran her fingers through Ascentia's hair, "You were the snowball effect, honey. If we hadn't had you, I'm sure something else would have woken me up to what I was doing."
Sunrise opened her mouth to respond, then sat back down, "...You know, that's a good point, Ma. I guess something else could've happened."
Twilight nodded and rocked Ascentia, pulling the taller woman into her lap and making soft shushing noises when Ascentia started crying, "She's had episodes like this before, and they can get pretty bad."
"Oh..." Sunrise looked around awkwardly, wringing her fingers, "I'm sorry, Ma. I kinda planted that question on her by accident. But still, sorry..."
Twilight shook her head, "I've triggered her before without meaning to as well. It's not your fault. Even I don't know what's going to trigger her all the time. But when it does happen, get me as soon as you can."
"Okay Ma, I'll do that. But what about if you're in Canterlot or something?"
"Get Rarity," Twilight said, stroking her wife's hair.
Sunrise nodded, figuring to just go with it, "Okay, I will."
Twilight kissed Ascentia's cheek and rocked her, "It's okay, Kitten. You're safe now."
The door opened behind them, and a familiar man stepped across the threshold, "Hey guys, what's... oh my god, what happened?" Spike asked, coming to the table.
"Hey, Uncle Spike!" Sunrise greeted with a grin, running to him and hugging him, "Long story, but Mama was just having a tough episode. But she'll be okay!"
Twilight brightened visibly, smiling, "Hi there, Spike. Yeah, poor Kitten had a bit of a trigger. Don't worry, she'll be fine. She just needs to calm down."
Spike nodded and sat down, looking at the mail on the table, "Oh, it finally came? I sent it like three weeks ago."
"What?" Twilight said, confused, "That's odd. Usually your letters come a lot faster than that."
Spike shrugged, "Yeah. I don't know what happened. It was just a letter telling you I was coming down in a few weeks... which is today."
"I don't know why, but that's hilarious!" Sunrise giggled, taking the letter and reading it, "Dear Twilight, how are you doing? Guess what? I got some time off work and I'm going to come see you guys! I'll be in town on the seventh, I can't wait to see you!
Ascentia slowly turned her head, glaring at him and growling a little. Spike snickered at this display.
"Yes Ascentia, Twilight's yours and you're ferocious," he said, patting the top of her head.
Ascentia smiled at the assertion of her territory and nuzzled back under Twilight's chin.
"Oh, you guys," Twilight giggled.
Sunrise looked between the two, puzzled. Had she missed something?
"So, how are you doing?" Twilight asked, her smile growing.
Spike laughed and sat down while Sunrise snuggled up to him, "I'm good. Been working hard, but I'm good. How's the family been?"
"We're doing great," Twilight said, giggling at the sight.
"I sure missed you, Uncle Spike!" Sunrise pouted, "I wanna see you more!"
"Well kiddo, I may just be moving back to Ponyville," Spike smirked, squeezing her a little.
"REALLY?! YAY!" Sunrise squealed, hugging him tight.
This made Twilight smile more as well, "You're kidding! Really?"
Spike nodded, "Yup. Picked up a new job working at the new steel yard on the outskirts of town."
"Aw, that's great!" Twilight said, reaching around and giving him a high-five, "It'll be good to have you back around again!"
"YES! Score one for me!" Sunrise said excitedly, "Which means we can do more stuff together, Uncle Spike!"
Spike smiled and pulled Sunrise under his arm, "Oh yeah, love spending time with you, kiddo."
"Those two are like father and daughter," Ascentia chuckled, nuzzling Twilight's face.
Unseen to Ascentia, Twilight bit her lip and looked down a little bit. She didn't respond for a few moments, feigning that she was mulling over some things in her mind.
"Yeah... Yeah, I know," Twilight replied softly, "I think it'll be good for Sunrise to have him around more. She really gets along well with him."
"You okay?" Ascentia asked, "Your heart is racing."
Twilight nodded, "Oh, I'm fine. I'm just... I'm really excited for this. I'm happy I can finally reconnect with him."
Ascentia made a concerned mewling noise, but otherwise took her word for it and curled up closer to her.
"So Spike, get a girlfriend yet?" Ascentia asked with a giggle.
Spike laughed and shook his head, "Nope. Not for me, I work too much and have too much family."
Twilight met his gaze briefly, her heart skipping a beat. She managed a smile, "Hey, as long as you're happy either way."
Spike smiled at her and nodded, "Of course. I get to come down and see you three all the time now."
"Yipee!" Sunrise cheered.
"I'm looking forward to it," Twilight smiled more.
Sunrise looked between the two, "Am I missing something here?"
Spike and Twilight both chuckled, "Nah, you're not missing anything..."
"Hey Twilight!" A young Spike called out as Twilight came out of her English class, carrying a back-breaking heavy bag, "Twilight, wait up!"
"Oh, hi Spike," Twilight smiled warmly at him, "What's up?"
"Uh... nothing, I was just wondering if you were busy right now?" Spike asked, smiling back.
Twilight shook her head, "No, I just have to study later. But I can wait before doing that."
"Twilight Sparkle? Putting off studying?" Spike laughed, putting a hand to her forehead, "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine, Spike!" Twilight giggled, hugging him, "I just haven't seen you in a while, that's all."
"Great, because there's... uh... something I wanted to talk to you about," Spike said, his voice cracking a bit, "Can we go... talk in private?"
Twilight blinked, but nodded, "Sure, but, are you okay? You seem nervous."
"Yeah, I'm okay," Spike said, leading them into an empty classroom, "It's just... something important."
Once alone, Twilight faced him curiously.
"What's up? What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked.
Spike twiddled his fingers a bit and took a deep breath, "Uh... we've been friends our whole lives, right?"
Giggling, Twilight nodded, "Yeah, of course! We've known each other since we were little."
"So... have you ever considered us being... more than friends?"
Eyes going wide, Twilight felt as if her heart was going cold and yet accelerating at the same time. She froze in place, unsure how to respond as she caught on to what he was saying.
"S-Spike...? You... You have feelings for me?" She managed, her voice shaking.
Spike smiled sheepishly and nodded, "Yeah..."
That had been what she was afraid of. Twilight shook a bit, a mixture of guilt and sadness overtaking her. Every bit of her being wanted to say yes, that she felt the same way. She could feel, she knew what a great boyfriend he would be. Having been best friends and with him as her assistant for years, it helped her see the possibility. But for it to actually happen, she knew that it couldn't happen.
Giving all of herself to him wasn't something she was sure she could do. Beyond the genuine love they shared, what else could there be if she had nothing further?
"Spike... Spike, I-I do love you too, I just... I don't..." Twilight looked down sadly, "The thing is... I've realized something about myself. It's something I-I didn't think I could come to terms with, I... But I have to tell someone. It's just... I'm actually... a-a lesbian."
Spike's eyes widened and the surprise of Twilight's confession overpowered the sting of her obvious rejection. Moving forward a little bit, he tentatively put a hand on her shoulder.
"Really?" he asked, "H-How did you... how did you find out?"
"It's kind of hard to explain," Twilight admitted, not quite looking at him, "But everytime I'm out, I always find myself staring at girls. It's like I notice something beautiful about them, something that they seem to possess. If they're... scantily clad, I feel compelled to stare, and not just because of the sociatal norms, but I digress. I even start picturing them naked, I imagine what it would be like to be with them, and I get so into the thought. But with men, not so much. I mean, I can easily say a man is attractive. I have eyes! But beyond that, I just don't see myself getting intimate with another guy. It's something I find myself kind of dreading. If I get a boyfriend, no matter how much I like him, he'll expect me to put out. And if I can't give that to him, what's the point? With another girl, I can give myself to her romantically and physically. It's... it's weird that way, but I have come to see that I like women."
Spike sat back a little bit, sighing disappointedly, "I guess I... I'm sorry Twilight, I shouldn't have dropped that on you... I'll see you around..."
He hurriedly rushed out the door, and Twilight heard his footsteps pick up into a sprint as he tore down the hall.
"Spike! Spike, wait!" Twilight tried to run out after him, but it was too late, he'd already gotten ahead of her. Stricken, she felt tears streaming down her face, her knees buckling, and her entire body going numb, "Spike... wait... don't go..."
"...Mama, I think they're stuck..." Sunrise said as her and Ascentia watched Twilight and Spike stare off into space.
"Should we try rebooting them?" Ascentia asked.
Spike tore off down the hall and out the front door, breathing heavily from the exertion as he sat down on the planter and his mind finally caught up to him. It finally dawned on him that not only had Twilight rejected him, she'd given him the penultimate 'Never gonna happen' he couldn't imagined.
Curling his head against his knees he fought hard not to cry.
For a while he remained there, trembling and fighting back tears. He wasn't sure how long he had been. But when he heard soft footsteps approaching, he cringed. He didn't want to be seen right now.
"...Spike?" Came Twilight's worried, sad voice, "Spike... I'm so sorry. Please don't run away from me."
"I... I didn't run away," he said hurridely, wiping his eyes and hoping he wasn't seen, "I just... was having an asthma attack."
"...Spike..." Twilight's voice quivered as tears ran down her face, "Please look at me, Spike."
Spike lifted his head and turned his reddened eyes toward her, "Yeah?"
Sniffling, she fell to her knees in front of him, reaching over to touch his shoulders, "Spike... you're not going to just leave me, r-right? You're my best friend, a-and I love you so much! I can't lose you because of this!"
Spike shook his head, "No, I'm not leaving. Just... I dunno... can I have a hug?"
"Of course," Twilight smiled a bit through her tears, bringing her arms around him in a tight hug.
"...Twilight?" he asked, hugging her tightly, "Can you do me a favor?"
Nodding, Twilight snuggled closer, "What is it?"
"Don't date a girl that's taller than me," he said, managing a little chuckle.
"Oh, Spike..." Twilight buried her face into his neck, sniffling loudly.
Spike broke out of his trance and turned to Ascentia, "Hey Ascentia, how tall are you?"
Ascentia shrugged, "Six three, six four?"
"Goddammit Twilight, you promised!" Spike said in mock offense, chuckling.
This made Twilight laugh heartily, "Well excuse me! I couldn't very well say, 'Yeah, uh, you're taller than my old friend, so I can't date you! Bye bye!' and stuff!"
"But you promised!" Spike said in a childish voice.
"But she was pwetty!" Twilight whined back.
"But we had a pact!" Spike whined, trying to stifle the laughter.
"But she wanted me!" Twilight whined, also trying to stifle her laughter.
"But you made a promise!"
"That was before I got my head between her legs!"
Sunrise clamped her hands over her ears, "EWWW! NO! STOP IT!"
Twilight, Spike, and Ascentia all laughed, shaking their heads.
"Okay, we'll stop," Twilight giggled, "Sunny, why don't you and your Mother finish up in here? I'm going to go have a talk with him a bit."
Ascentia suddenly perked up, "Oh shit!" She jumped up and grabbed the pan off the stove, groaning in frustration at the long scorched eggs, "Dammit!"
"Fiiine... But no more of that dirty stuff! I mean it!" Sunrise said warningly.
"Sunrise, get more eggs... and everything else!" Ascentia groaned.
"Okay, Ma!"
Twilight giggled, getting up and heading into the living room with Spike following. She turned back around, bringing her arms about his waist in a hug.
"Even though it was a surprise, I'm really glad you came!" Twilight said softly, looking up at him, "It's been a while."
Spike hugged her back and smiled, "Yeah, too long. I missed you three."
"We missed you too, I sure missed you," Twilight nuzzled his cheek.
Spike chuckled and nuzzled her in return, "So your wife's only gotten more and more clingy since the last time I was here."
"You have no idea," Twilight said, shaking her head, "It seems to get... increased every year."
Spike snickered, "When you two are in your sixties, she'll be surgically attaching herself to your hip."
This made Twilight laugh, "Well, shit! Then I won't even be able to go to the bathroom without her eyes on me!"
"She's already seen plenty of your naughty bits anyway," Spike giggled, giving her a playful noogie.
"I do have limits, you dork!" Twilight laughed, nudging his side.
"Shame, you two are hot," Spike said, kissing the top of her head.
Giggling, Twilight planted a kiss on his cheek, "I've missed your sense of humour, Spike. Even when the jokes are terrible, I just can't help but feel a strange sense of nostalgia with them."
Spike blushed and let go of her, "So what did you wanna talk about that was so important the others couldn't listen?"
"Nothing really, I just... I guess sometimes I just prefer to be able to talk to you without anyone listening," Twilight admitted, managing to look into his eyes, "Sometimes... Ascentia gets a little... eh, jealous. Sometimes I just want to talk freely without having to fuel her envy."
"Eh, I don't think she's really jealous," Spike said with a smile, sitting down in a chair, "After all you two have been through? Nothing's breaking you two up."
"I know," Twilight sat down too, "Most of the time she knows that. But even she has her moments, you know?"
Spike nodded, "Yeah, I know. She never was... all that well in the head to begin with."
Leaning back a bit, Twilight nodded, "True enough. Even without my, well, you know... There was something about her. But, I guess now that we're here, all we can do is move forward."
"You two are cute though. The way she sits in your lap like that is just precious," Spike laughed, "So besides the nutty wife, what else is new?"
"Thanks," Twilight chuckled, "Well, I'm sure you've heard that Sunny is indeed dating her little lifelong buddy! They've been together for a couple months, actually. Downright in love, those two!"
"Oh my god! I am so going to tease her about that!" Spike said with a big grin, "Little Spectrum? The guy who can't string two words together?"
"One in the same," Twilight giggled with a grin, "To think we spent their whole lives making all these jokes about how they'd end up together one day. Lo and behold!"
"You two must have magical powers," Spike laughed, kicking his feet up, "If you could have, I'd have bet you'd have managed to breed naturally."
Twilight's smile faded slightly as she shifted in her seat, "...Sadly, we didn't have that same kind of option. But it's okay. It worked out in the long run, anyway."
"Who did you get as a donor anyway?" Spike asked curiously.
"Uh... no one in particular!" Twilight looked away a little, "I mean, I was just given a vial of sperm. I figured it better to remain anonymous... I know they do a screening process, which is good, but I just, you know... I felt it didn't matter. We just wanted a baby and that's what we did get."
Spike cocked an eyebrow, "Twilight... they don't let you take an anonymous donation. They have to give you the information, it's the law."
"What? But some places... Never mind. It doesn't matter. I don't even remember the guy's name if I did know it, anyway."
"You sure? Seems like something you would remember. Whoever it is gave you and Ascentia your daughter. I dunno, I'd like to remember who it was if I were in your position," Spike shrugged.
Twilight wrung her fingers nervously, "That's true, I see your point. But I just, well, I guess I just don't remember..."
Spike shrugged, "That's a shame. You sure you're not just afraid to tell me?"
Shaking a little, Twilight sniffed, "Spike... I don't know. I've wanted to, for years. But I just felt it was better if no one knew."
"How come?" Spike asked.
"It's very..." Twilight stood up, wiping her eyes, "Spike, if I tell you, please promise you'll hear me out. It's going to be a huge shock."
"Oh god, this usually means it's really bad," Spike half-laughed, "C'mon, who was it? Big Mac? Time Turner? Oh, Rainbow Dash? It was Rainbow Dash, wasn't it?"
Twilight shook her head "No, it wasn't either of them. As for Rainbow, yeah, never! I wouldn't want that, even if she is capable of it. Not only would she be caught in a very irregular triangle, but I'd have to get through Fluttershy AND Cielle. I think rocking the boat isn't going to make for a good idea. But anyway, no. You can guess if you want, but it's no one around here."
"Alright fine," he said, leaning forward and propping his face against his hands, "So who is it?"
Twilight met his gaze, biting her lip, then sighing, "Spike... you know that I love you, right?"
"Yeah yeah, I know you love me, so what does this have to do with-" he stopped as his mind finally clicked together why Twilight was stalling so much, "......Fuck."
Realizing that he'd caught on, Twilight looked down and wiped her eyes again, "It's true. You're Sunrise's biological father."
Spike leaned back against the chair, "Huh... guess that explains why the two of us behave exactly the same."
Meeting his gaze, Twilight nodded, "While she didn't quite come out looking too much like you, except a bit in the face... You're right. She has so much of your personality, it's almost like she's a mini-you. It's no wonder you two always got along so well. Spike, I... I didn't plan for that, I swear. When I was at the sperm bank, your name and profile came up in the screening process. I was shocked, but... whatever came to me, I just... I wanted you to be the father of my baby. It wasn't until I got pregnant that I realized... what I'd done."
Spike raised an eyebrow, "...Why?"
"Why, what?" She asked.
"Why me?"
Sighing a little, Twilight could barely meet his gaze, "Sometimes I don't even know why, either. But one thing I can say is just that you're the only man in my life that I would ever want to be the father of my children. If Shining Armor weren't my brother, him too. You mean the world to me, Spike. I just, I think I wanted to have part of you with me. When I thought of the fact that I would be pregnant with your child, I felt better about it than I thought. I wanted to. So much."
Spike moved a little closer and laid a hand on her knee, "Gosh, Twi... I didn't know something like that meant so much to you..."
"It does," Twilight looked at him, sniffling a bit, "You were my best friend, my number one assistant... you were always there for me. Even when I turned you down, you never stopped being there for me. You've put up with so much of my crap, that I'm amazed you still care about me. You mean more to me than... than I can ever say. I love you so much... I couldn't think of anyone better suited to be the father of my children but you."
Spike leaned toward her, resting their foreheads together and hugging her, "It's okay, Twilight. Don't start crying on me. I'm always going to be here for you. Heh... glad I could help you two out."
Her heart beating faster, a feeling of relief flooding through her, Twilight smiled, "Oh, Spike... You're the best. I-I'm sorry I never told you. I wasn't ashamed, but I still should have. But, I'm glad you're Sunrise's father. Really glad."
Spike nuzzled her, kissing her forehead, "I love you, Twilight."
Sniffling, Twilight nuzzled him, "And I love you, too, Spike... More than you know."
"Oh I know quite a bit," Spike chuckled, "You're not the only one who's smart in the family."
"Oh, really?" Twilight teased, her smile fully returning.
"Well you did have my child," Spike teased back, "There's not much more room for 'More than you know'."
"Very funny," Twilight nuzzled noses with him, giggling.
Spike smiled, and hugged her tighter, "...I do still love you, Twilight."
"I... kind of caught on to that," Twilight giggled, hugging him back, "Failed girlfriends, signing your letters with hugs and kisses, the occasional love heart, the way you look at me, all that stuff. I'm not going to lie, I kind of felt... pretty happy you still loved me."
"Guess I'm not the smoothest guy in the world, am I?" Spike chuckled, nuzzling her cheek.
Laughing a bit, Twilight nuzzled him back and kissed his cheek, "No, but you're adorable. Any girl who doesn't see that is nuts."
Spike kissed her cheek and smiled, "...Thanks, Twi."
Holding him tighter, Twilight happily nuzzled into his chest and smiled, closing her eyes, "You're welcome... Mmm, you're so warm..."
"Thanks. High body temperature," Spike said with a grin, rubbing her back.
"You smell nice, too," Twilight nuzzled into his shirt, "Oh, I remember when you were shorter than I was. You were so cute. Then one day I felt my nose get smooshed up against your collarbone, realizing the man you became... Now look at you."
Spike laughed, runnig his hands through her hair, "Yeah, I was excited to finally get taller than you. Thought I did miss getting my face pressed somewhere very nice growing up," he winked.
Catching on, Twilight giggled, "I was wondering why you'd always snuggle against my breasts. Sometimes I wonder what could've happened if you gave in to your urges..."
"What do you mean?" Spike asked.
Although meant as a playful jab, all Twilight could think of was just that. Right now, they were so close, just holding each other. Nothing new, but in a moment like this, Twilight felt closer to him than ever. She felt like their bond could truly overcome anything, that it was something worth fighting for. Akin to that was her own marriage, her closest friends, her family, everyone who meant so much to her.
Twilight's smile grew, to which she leaned up closer to him. Whatever impulses were coming to her, she didn't fight them. It felt perfect.
"Oh, Spike..."
She leaned up and closed the gap between them, touching their lips together in a sweet kiss. Spike twitched in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss, his fingers shakily toying with the fabric of her sweater.
"Mmm... Twilight... what are you..." he couldn't finish the sentence as his heart started racing.
Twilight trembled slightly, her lips tingling from the kiss. She could not believe the impulse, yet, everything about it was wonderful. It felt right, like a natural touch. Smiling, she held closer to him and kissed his cheek.
"I love you, and I want to just..." Twilight found his lips once more, savouring the feel, "I should've done this years ago, Spike... I want to hold you, kiss you, and just be with you. I want to love you."
Spike leaned into the kiss, shuddering as one of his childhood fantasies was coming true, "...Your... wife is in the... next... room."
The words registered in her mind, but Twilight came closer to him still, "I'll work that out later. Oh, Spike, kiss me... hold me, just... do what you've always wanted. I'm right here now, you can have me."
Spike pulled Twilight closer to him, kissing her deeply and pushing his tongue past her lips as his hands found their way to her hips. His face was flushed as he felt his jeans start to constrict around him.
Moaning against his mouth, Twilight clung to him tighter as she sunk into the growing pleasure. She brought her hands to his firm behind, aligning their hips in near-perfection. The touch made her moan more, finding herself strangely loving the feel of his bulge against her like that. Any other man would've already revolted her if they'd gotten this close to her. But at this moment, Twilight felt immensely pleasured. Like she didn't even care that this was a man.
'Oh, now I understand how Fluttershy felt sixteen years ago... I'm having a talk with her, later... ' Twilight mused, clutching his bottom.
Spike's hands came around to cup her rear, moaning softly as he felt her hips press against him, "...Twilight... are we about to..."
Experimentally grinding against him, Twilight moaned softly, "Yes! Oh, Spike..." She wandered her hands about his body a little, oddly enjoying his male form. Whatever the reason, she didn't care. Eventually, one of her hands reached the tent in his jeans, which she happily grasped.
"Oh my god..." he moaned, leaning his head back and clutching at her shirt, "Twilight... what are you... oh yes..."
"It's been long enough," she whispered, "I want to give you more."
"Twilight... you're married," Spike groaned, "And you're gay."
Figuring to deal with that later, Twilight kissed him deep, grasping the bulge in his jeans a bit tighter. Spike groaned harshly and the concerns about Twilight's wife being one wall away fell out of his mind. Wrapping his arms around Twilight's shoulders, he eagerly kissed her back as her hands explored him. So caught up in the moment, Twilight didn't even register the sound of footsteps coming into the room. She opened her mouth and met Spike's tongue once again, tasting a combination of flavours within his mouth. Moans escaped the back of her throat as she fisted her free hand into his short green hair.
The door opened and a familiar voice rang through their ears, "Twilight, breakfast is rea-what the fuck?!"
Both Spike and Twilight jumped apart as if they'd been shot at, but the cat was out of the bag. It had been too late, what they were doing before was plainly obvious.
"A-A-Ascentia, we, I..." Twilight stammered, the colour draining from her face.
Ascentia glared at the two of them, her eyes moving from Twilight, to Spike, to Twilight's still unfortunately placed hand.
"Ten seconds," she said, the door handle splintering in her grip, "Explain."
"It was me. I did it," Twilight said right out in a hurried tone, "I goaded him into it."
Ascentia's glare sharpened and she let go of the doorknob, cracking her knuckles.
I Love You, But Stop Talking
"Yikes, what the hell happened to you?" Sunrise asked as Spike and Twilight both sat down, clutching bleeding noses.
"I don't wanna talk about it," Spike mumbled.
"It's nothing, honey," Twilight sighed, leaning her head back as she pinched a tissue over her nostrils.
"You guys look like you had a run in with an angry Applejack," Sunrise said, looking concerned.
Ascentia came around the table, shaking out the pain in her wrist, "No more questions, Sunrise."
"Mama, they both have bleeding noses," Sunrise deadpanned, "Of COURSE I'm questioning it! No one gets bleeding noses at the same time like that, unless it was no accident."
"Well, two people can fall against the same thing in the same direction and end up with broken or bleeding noses," Twilight pointed out, "That's one thing."
"They were making out and I punched them," Ascentia said stiffly, setting a plate down on the table, "Now eat your breakfast."
Now Sunrise's jaw dropped, "Wait, what?! Are you serious?! You guys were actually... Mom! What the heck?! You're cheating on Mama?! With a GUY?! ...Since when does THAT happen?!"
Ascentia clocked her across the back of the head, "I said eat. I already dealt with it," she said, turning back to the stove and hauling the pans into the sink.
"OW! Jeez! Fine, whatever!" Sunrise groaned, reluctantly obliging.
Ascentia set to work on scrubbing the pans clean while the other three ate, not looking at any of them. Twilight remained quiet herself, as did Spike, while Sunrise looked all around in absolute bafflement. The three of them ate in silence, and only turned around when Ascentia finished cleaning the dishes and stormed upstairs, slamming the door behind her.
"Boy, I've never seen Mama so upset," Sunrise said quietly, shrinking down a little.
"I don't think I have, either," Twilight tossed her tissue into the trashcan. She felt along her upper lip, finding more blood there. Retrieving another tissue, she tilted her head back and pinched it against her nose.
"...Why'd you do it, Mom?" Sunrise asked tentatively.
Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but found herself unable to. Why did she? How could she put it into words? It was an absolute blank to her. Even Fluttershy's recollection for her own reasoning wasn't word-for-word easy to remember. Twilight began to wonder just how one did admit this sort of thing. Now experiencing it for herself, even a book couldn't have prepared her for it.
All Twilight could think to do was be honest.
"I was tempted, Sunny. I felt a stronger attraction to him than I ever remembered having toward him in my life. I just gave in to my urges and couldn't stop myself. When I started, I couldn't stop. I liked it so much. The thing is, though, there's a lot more to it than that," she sighed, managing to look at her, "Since the cat's out of the bag with your Mother now, I think... I think you should know what's going on."
"Know what?" Sunrise asked cautiously, "I'm not sure I want to know..."
Twilight looked at Spike, who nodded. She bit her lip, then lowered her head to face her daughter, "Sunny, I haven't been honest with you about your biological origin. I didn't actually get an anonymous donor's vial of sperm. That kind of thing was outlawed years ago. You do have to go through a screening process, to know what kind of genetics to expect and to be careful of any sort of genes that may be susceptible to illnesses and whatnot. At best you can just get the names redacted, but everything else is present."
Sunrise clapped her hands over her ears and started making loud singing noises, "LA LA LA LA LA! I DON'T WANNA KNOW! STOP TALKING!" Sunrise's shouting, coupled with her own voice being louder inside her own head, proved effective at drowning her mother out, "STOP TALKING! STOP TALKING! I DON'T WANNA KNOW! DON'T TELL ME! I DON'T CARE!"
"You're grounded."
Sunrise kept up her shouting, being unable to hear her mother.
"Twi, I think she actually can't hear you," Spike said, throwing his tissue away, "And it sounds like she doesn't want to know."
"Oh, fine," Twilight gave up. She sat for a few moments, seeing that Sunrise was still going on. Rolling her eyes, she kicked her leg.
"OW! Hey! What'd you do that for?!" Sunrise shouted, letting go of her ears and grabbing her leg.
"Just stop it, sweetheart. You're not six years old."
"Fine," she said, sitting with a pout, "No seriously, Ma. I don't wanna know who you got me from."
Twilight sipped her coffee, mumbling an "Mm-hmm" in response.
"Why not?" Spike asked curiously.
"Because I already have two parents," Sunrise said, folding her arms, "If I want to know, I'll ask. If I don't, don't tell me. Ever."
"Okay then," Twilight sipped her coffee again, retrieving another tissue.
Silence befell the table, neither of them speaking or looking at each other. Even Sunrise now looked tense as she sipped her milk, shaking a bit.
"Sunrise, can you-"
"DON'T TELL ME!" She yelled.
Twilight frowned, "I was just going to ask you to pass the butter."
Sunrise sighed and handed her the butter, looking back up at the stairs.
"Is she gonna come down?" she asked.
"Not anytime soon," Twilight glanced up at the stairs as well, "But let's give her some time alone. I don't think she wants to see any of us right now."
"Why me? I didn't do anything," Sunrise pouted.
"No, you didn't, but it's the principle."
Sunrise rolled her eyes and stood up, "I'm going to Speccy's."
"Uh... you're grounded," Twilight said sharply.
"You cheated on Mama, so I'm goin' anyway!" Sunrise said, throwing her jacket on and walking out the door.
Not making a move to stop her, Twilight exhaled sadly and shook her head. Many words came to mind, but nothing was enough to even describe what she felt. Regretful, uncertain, but overall, unable to put it all behind her completely.
"I sure have a lot to do, now," she mumbled.
"...I'm sorry, Twilight," Spike said softly, "I shouldn't have let you do that..."
Twilight shook her head, "No, it's not your fault. I'm the one who kissed you, and even when you tried to tell me otherwise... I didn't stop."
"Look... she seemed really upset, and I can see why, but..." Spike paused for a moment, unsure whether or not to proceed, "...I don't mean to assume anything, but has this ever happened before?"
"...Kind of," Twilight tossed her tissue away. Satisfied that she had no more blood, she continued, "Back in high school, actually. Remember when I told you that I became a delinquent? While really bad at it?"
Spike struggled to stifle a laugh, "Yeah, Ascentia showed me the picture."
"Right," Twilight recalled earlier's conversation, "Anyway, there was a bit more to the story. I kind of... broke up with her at the time."
"Oh yeah... I heard about that," Spike winced, laying a hand on her shoulder, "Are you two going to be okay?"
Twilight sighed, "I don't know, Spike. I've broken up with her, she hit rock bottom. I abused her badly in many ways, and she forgave me, even acting like it's nothing for the longest time. And now... She actually harmed me because I cheated. I think... I think this may be her limit, Spike... I don't know anymore."
"Well... what do you think she's going to do?" Spike asked.
"I have no clue," Twilight admitted, meeting his gaze, "I never know what to expect with her reactions. Either it's completely out of left field or the exact opposite of any expectation."
"Twilight... have you ever been afraid of her..." Spike sighed and squeezed her shoulder, "You know... committing suicide?"
Nodding, Twilight shook, "Yes. After we got back together, she admitted she was... contemplating it. I had no idea if it changed since then, since we never spoke about suicide in that regard. And now, I just don't know."
"You know, her and I used to talk a lot back when you were... you know," Spike said softly.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"We used to get together and just talk," Spike shrugged, "She said she needed someone to talk to about everything that was happening."
Twilight was surprised, but nodded slowly as she touched his hand, "Really now? I had no idea. I mean, I know you two never had a problem chatting whenever we got together, but I had no idea you two spoke personally like that. How has that gone?"
"Well... you were right to worry," Spike sighed, "She told me she was considering killing herself for a long time. She said she had a gun in case it ever came to that. I don't know if she has it anymore, we stopped talking after you started going to therapy."
Shaking a bit, Twilight nodded slowly as she processed this information, taking a deep breath, "I guess... I'm not surprised. I never knew she had a gun. I know she has a marker rifle when we go play paintball with the girls, and also this other rifle for skeet shooting, but she keeps those on a rack down in the basement. If she had another gun, I don't know where she'd keep it. My best guess is her own safe deposit box at the bank, which I never go into."
"At the time, she said she kept it in her bedside drawer," Spike shrugged, "Look, I don't want to worry you, Twilight..."
"No, it's okay. I think at this point, I need to know," Twilight assured, squeezing his hand, "We have to do something, though."
"What?" Spike asked, squeezing back.
Meeting his gaze, Twilight exhaled softly, "I don't want to pretend it never happened, Spike. I'm just... I can't. It was amazing."
"Whoa..." Spike said, his heart starting to race again, "...So, what are you going to do?"
Looking down at their hands, Twilight trembled, "Right now, I just... I need you."
Spike leaned back a little bit, "What do you mean?"
"Please don't go," Twilight pleaded, looking him in the eye, "I need you, Spike... Just stay with me, please."
Spike sat back in his chair and sighed, "Alright."
Sniffling a little, she opened her arms up for a hug. Spike moved toward her and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly around the midsection. Twilight hugged him tight, burying her face in his shoulder as she shook a little.
Pulling back a bit, she then took hold of his hand, leading toward the basement door. Without a word, she opened the door and led the way down, squeezing hard. By now, her entire mind was jumbled, with no way to piece anything together about the entire situation. She wanted to give a clear and obvious solution to the problem, just as any would expect Twilight Sparkle to do. Stress, of course, had a funny way of playing with her head.
"Spike," she said, letting out a frustrated groan, "It doesn't even matter anymore, does it? The cat's out of the bag. Everything, almost, is out in the open. What is there left to do? At this point, I just... what, pretend it didn't happen? No! Just get on that cot over there. Please."
Spike looked over to the cot in the corner of the basement, then back over to Twilight. Feeling unsure about where Twilight was going with this, he moved over and sat down on the wire-frame bed.
'She couldn't be... no, not after we were just caught kissing.'
"Twilight? Are you going to be okay?" he asked.
"I don't even know, Spike!" Twilight said, approaching him, "All I know for sure is that being with you, kissing you and touching you, felt good. Really good. I don't know anymore! My wife is probably ready to break MY bones, my own daughter feels alienated, and here we are because of what I did! Spike, I need you, and I mean right now! I can't hold it back anymore, I want you!"
Spike looked at her, slack-jawed. As much as he wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that things were going to be fine in a few days...
'Oh who are you kidding? Since when have you ever been able to tell Twilight Sparkle she's wrong? '
He swallowed hard and shook with anticipation, "...Okay."
Sighing a little, Twilight undid her blouse a bit, "Spike, I won't lie. I'm a little confused, but I'm not about to suddenly say I'm straight. I just know that I want to be with you. And at this point, well, no point in even hiding it. Let's just do it, okay? I know you want me too, and I'm ready for it."
Spike nodded, unbuttoning his shirt and watching her intently, "I do... alright Twilight. Let's just do it."
Exhaling with at least a little relief, Twilight met his gaze, "I'm just sorry it came out like this. But now I wonder if I just let it happen years ago, we could've had more."
Spike put a hand over her lips, "Twilight, I love you, but stop talking."
Managing a little smile, Twilight obliged. She took off her blouse, then assisted with his shirt as she pulled his lips back in for a kiss. Spike sighed into the kiss and pulled her back into his lap, running his hand over her warm back as his tongue slipped into her mouth.
Tossing his shirt aside, Twilight made herself more comfortable as she straddled his lap and curiously ran her hands along his chest. For a man in his late thirties, remaining skinny no less, she had to admire his light tone. Even with that, his skin was soft, feeling very warm in the open air. A soft moan escaped her as she felt his hands along her back, making her shiver a bit.
Spikes hands moved down to her hips, squeezing them as he nibbled on her lips and shivering from the cold in the basement. Feeling his jeans tighen again with Twilight right in his lap, he shifting a bit and slid his fingers down the back of her pants.
"Spike.." Twilight moaned softly, kissing his cheek, "Need help with your pants?"
Spike shivered from the voice in his ear and nodded, "Yes."
Nodding, Twilight reached down and unzipped his fly, carefully. She helped him pull them down, and she looked down to see purple boxers with a pattern of green dragons. Twilight smiled and giggled happily.
"Awwww! I can't believe you still wear that kind of underwear! That's so cute!" She cooed, giggling.
Spike blushed, but laughed as well, "They're comfortable, and they don't chafe. All things considered, it was a smart move today."
"That's for sure," Twilight agreed, kissing his nose, "You always did have a keen intuition."
Spike nodded and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek, "Yeah... I can't believe this is actually happening..."
"Me neither," Twilight nuzzled him, then proceeded to remove her pants, "You've wanted this for a long time, Spike. What do you want to do?"
Spike breathed heavily and ran his hands over Twilight's smooth legs, shuddering, "Would you... use your... mouth?" he asked tentatively.
"Oh, you mean a blow job?" Twilight asked. She blushed a bit, "Can I tell you a secret? I actually... did do that one time."
"Really?" Spike blushed, "When?"
"It was about sixteen years ago," Twilight recalled, "For about a few hours one night, Ascentia and I had a little impromptu threesome with Rainbow Dash... Especially since we were curious about her. It was surprisingly a lot more interesting than I thought."
Spike's blush deepened, "I always knew you two did something with Rainbow."
"Did you?" Twilight nuzzled his nose, "How? Did Ascentia tell you?"
"No, just a hunch," Spike said, nuzzling her back.
Twilight laughed, now gently pushing him back along the mattress, "Well! Then it looks like we're going to have a little fun."
Spike bit his lip and nodded, "Yeah... looks like it."
"Won't you let me see your... situation?"
Spike nodded and hooked his thumbs into his shorts, sliding them down and off, laying them aside. Taking a deep breath, he parted his knees, allowing Twilight to see him.
Looking over his erect member, Twilight smiled as she reached over to gently stroke him. He was certainly a lot bigger than she imagined, but nothing overly huge either. Meeting his gaze again, she giggled.
"It might be a bit of a squeeze, but I am forty now," Twilight giggled, winking, "I'm not as tight as I used to be."
"I won't be able to tell," Spike moaned as Twilight stroked him, "I've never had sex before."
This had Twilight's eyes go wide, "What? Never?"
Spike shook his head, "Never."
"Why? I know you've carried a torch for me all this time, but you let that stop you?"
Spike shifted a bit, and nodded, "I guess so."
Still stroking his member, Twilight kissed his nose, "I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't think you felt unable to try dating, or even sex."
Spike shrugged, shivering under her touch, "Don't feel sorry, Twilight. It just didn't happen."
"Well, now it will," Twilight leaned down a little bit, kissing the tip of his shaft, "Will this exceed your expectations?"
Spike shuddered in anticipation, looking down at her, "I hope so..."
Giggling, she then licked the tip, experimentally continuing to do so. Spike moaned softly and leaned his head back against the bed, his hips twitching from the tingles running down his length.
All the more encouraged, Twilight wrapped the tip around her mouth and suckled along the skin. She gazed up at him, gripping the base of his length while she used her free hand to support herself. Shivering, Spike brought a hand down to touch her cheek, his face a deep red.
"Twilight... that's so... god that's good..." he whispered, his hips twitching again.
"Mmmm," Twilight murmured, going a little deeper.
Spike groaned, feeling precum leak out of his tip and into her mouth. Rubbing his eyes, he stroked her cheek gently, moaning softly as a childhood fantasy came true before his eyes.
As Twilight went along, she delved a little deeper, almost touching the tip against the back of her throat. She jerked back slightly, but managed to get back into it fairly easily. Even the memory from sixteen years ago offered a helping hand in getting the hang of it, complete with remembered sensation.
"Mmmmm," she hummed, using her hand to fondle his scrotum.
Spike groaned sharply, feeling himself reaching his peak very quickly, "Twi... I don't think I'm going to last very long..."
Pulling back a little to talk, Twilight said, "I've never had it cum in my mouth before... so you can do that, Spike."
"Are you sure?" Spike asked, breathing softly.
"Yes," Twilight nodded, before she went back to work on sucking his shaft.
Spike moaned harshly, feeling himself build up too fast to comprehend, "F-Fuck!" He grunted before he released his load into Twilight's mouth, moaning as her lips and tongue caressed him.
"Mmmm!" Twilight squealed in surprise, but managed to take in as much as she could. When she pulled away, some of it dripped down her chin, "Oh, wow..."
"What?" Spike asked, looking up and breathing heavily.
"That was... nice," Twilight wiped her lips, smiling, "I like your taste, Spike. How did you find it? Good, I hope?"
Spike nodded, "Very good... Twilight, I love you."
"I love you too," Twilight rose up and kissed him sweetly.
Spike held her tightly, tasting himself on her lips and finding it intoxicating, "So... now what?"
"Well... what else do you want to share with me?" Twilight asked, nuzzling his neck.
Spike kissed her deeply and stroked her cheek, "...Take them off."
All at once, Twilight obliged and took off her undergarments, leaving herself bare as well. She blushed a bit, feeling less like an experienced forty-year-old and more like a virginal schoolgirl.
"Um, what do you think?"
Spike pushed her onto her back and kissed her again, "You look gorgeous, Twilight. The years were really kind to you."
Twilight giggled and kissed back, touching his hair, "Thank you, Spike. I do feel pretty good about my body."
Spike rubbed her stomach as he felt his length brushing up between her legs, "Twilight... is it alright if I..."
"Of course, Spike... anything," Twilight whispered, moaning a little.
Spike positioned himself and moaned as he pushed into her, all the while a pair of furious eyes watched them from the crack in the door.
Enough With The Crocodile Tears
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Rarity groaned in exasperation as the thumping on the front door continued. Opening the door, she saw a distraught and teary Ascentia standing there.
"Darling? Whatever is the matter?" she said softly.
"Twilight's cheating on me," Ascentia said, her voice quivering from her crying.
"WHAT?!" Rarity exclaimed loudly in shock. She brought a hand to her mouth, unable to believe what she had just heard. But if there was one thing Ascentia wasn't, even in her toughest moment, she was not a liar, "Oh, darling... That's terrible... I am so sorry..." She brought her arms around her in a comforting hug.
Ascentia sobbed into Rarity's shoulder, holding her tightly and shaking in her arms.
"Rarity?" Sweetie Belle said, coming downstairs, "What's going on?"
"Oh, Sweetie Belle," Rarity said, strangely just remembering that she was visiting, "There's been a problem. It seems that Twilight is cheating on Ascentia..."
"What?!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, outraged, "With who?!"
"Spike..." Ascentia whimpered, clutching tightly to Rarity's shoulders.
"Spike..." Rarity repeated in shock, "Wait. She is honestly cheating with a friend, but also a man? While happily married? Unbelievable... what in the world is she thinking?! I cannot believe she would stoop that low!"
"What a bitch!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, remembering how much it had hurt Scootaloo and Apple Bloom when she cheated on them.
"Now now, let's not use crude language... But yes, what she did was horrible. I cannot believe it..." Rarity held Ascentia closer, stroking her hair, "I am so, so sorry darling... Don't you worry, it's all right. We're here for you."
Ascentia broke down and fell against Rarity, holding herself up just enough to keep the smaller woman from falling over, tears streaming down her face as Sweetie Belle came up and hugged her as well.
Carefully, Rarity moved them into the living room, where she sat Ascentia down to make sure she was comfortable, as both women snuggled her.
"Now, when you're ready, tell us what happened," Rarity said gently, gently kissing the top of her head.
Ascentia wiped her eyes and managed to speak through the shivering sobs, "Spike came over to visit, and he and the rest of us were just chatting for a bit. Then Twilight took him into the other room for a while. I went to check on them and she was in his lap, kissing him. I broke them apart, but before I left they were having s-s-sex in the basement..."
Both Rarity and Sweetie Belle stared with shock, before shaking their heads.
"And in your own home, no less. Unbelievable!" Rarity said with disgust, "What were they thinking?! What in the world could have possibly justified this for her...!"
Ascentia shrugged and buried her face back into Rarity's shoulder, crying hard against her shirt while Sweetie Belle rubbed her back.
Rarity stroked her hair gently, nuzzling her, "It's all right, dear. You just let yourself cry, take all the time you need for it. It's okay. You're not alone, darling. Never."
Sweetie Belle pulled away from them and picked up the phone, dialing it with an angry look on her face, "I'm calling the girls."
"Sweetie Belle-" Rarity reached to her, biting her lip, "All right. But don't do anything rash."
She paued for a minute, then the phone picked up, "Hey, Apple Bloom? We've got a problem... Twilight's cheating on Ascentia."
There was a loud 'WHAT?!' from the other side of the phone, to which Sweetie Belle had to hold the phone away from her ear.
"Yeah. Can you call Scootaloo and come over? Thanks!"
As Rarity continued comforting Ascentia however she could, she remained silent for some time. The entire situation almost felt like major deja-vu to their high school days, when she'd been there for Ascentia upon the painful breakup. Much like now, she'd sat there, holding her and lending a shoulder to cry on. It was unbelievable, not to mention far worse.
"Darling, if you'd like to stay here for a while, you know you're welcome to," Rarity said softly, kissing her head, "If there's anything you need, you can let us know."
Ascentia sniffled and hugged her tighter, "Th-Thanks, Rarity."
"The girls are coming over," Sweetie Belle said, "I can't believe that woman. When is it gonna stop with her?"
Sighing, Rarity shook her head, though knowing it was a rhetorical question, "Even I can't say for sure. To think that she's been, for lack of a better term, clean and sober for the past sixteen years... I cannot believe she's come to stoop this low."
Sweetie Belle huffed in anger and sat back down, hugging Ascentia around the waist, "Poor girl..."
A little later, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo arrived, both of them looking a mixture of angry and concerned.
"We came as soon as ya called," Apple Bloom said, biting her lip, "Boy she's lucky not to be in front o' me right now..."
Normally Sweetie Belle would have reprimanded her for threats, but this time she just nodded, "Same here. Look at her. She's a wreck because of her!"
"I almost told my Moms," Scootaloo admitted, "But I'm not gonna do that yet."
"So what are we going to do now?" Sweetie Belle asked, looking up at Rarity.
Rarity looked at them all, "For now, we're going to do what we can to help Ascentia here. I think that is the most important thing. However, if Twilight comes around, we are not to let them see each other. Not yet. Let's first make sure Ascentia can feel better here. Sweetie Belle, prepare the guest room, if you please. Apple Bloom, bring me a glass of water."
Sweetie Belle rushed upstairs to get the guest room ready while Apple Bloom went into the kitchen. Scootaloo sat down next to them, looking at them curiously.
"I've never seen her like this before..." she said softly, "I've heard about it, but I've never seen it."
Smiling grimly, Rarity sighed, "I have. You can say I've been a bit of a confidant to her since high school."
Scootaloo whistled a little, "So... what do I do?"
"Come sit here with her, dear," Rarity said, and looked up to see Apple Bloom coming back with the water. She took the glass, giving it to Ascentia to drink, "Here, darling. Drink some of this."
Ascentia sat up and took the glass, gulping down it's contents in one swift movement, setting the glass aside, "I'm s-sorry I'm such a w-wreck, you guys..."
"Hey, come on, don't say that!" Scootaloo said, "I think you got every reason to be upset!"
"She's right, dear. You have nothing to apologize for," Rarity said firmly, gently wiping her face with a handkerchief, "We're here for you, don't you worry."
Ascentia wrapped her arms tighter around Rarity's midsection and cried harder as her and Scootaloo ran their fingers through her hair.
"Ugh... I'm coming, keep your shirt on," Rainbow groaned as the doorbell rang over and over again. Pulling it open, she was surprised to see a nervous looking Twilight standing on her doorstep, "Twilight? I thought you were spending the day with your family?"
"No, I'm not anymore. I need to talk to Fluttershy," Twilight said, wiping her eyes, "She'll understand where I'm coming from. It's really important."
"...Oh god, what did you do this time?" Rainbow said flatly as she waved to Fluttershy, "Fluttershy, Twilight fucked something up and needs you."
Twilight nodded, "Yes, I did."
Fluttershy's eyes went wide as she approached, "Gosh, no reprimand on laying it on thick? Oh dear. What happened?"
Gathering her words, not even crossing the threshold, Twilight sighed, "I didn't just screw up bad. I ended up... cheating. I cheated on Ascentia."
A dead silence fell, no one saying a word or any sounds reaching them.
"...Why?" Cielle asked from the sofa.
"Really?" Rainbow glared, "That's your first question?"
"You seen that woman? On a good day she's more adorable than Flutters here," Cielle remarked, "Why on earth would you cheat on her?"
"First of all, I disagree," Twilight said, "But it's nothing she did. She didn't do anything wrong. I couldn't even try to explain it rationally if I wanted to. It's that-"
"What were you thinking?" Fluttershy uttered in absolute disbelief, "You just up and cheated on her like that?! How could you do that?!"
"What are you talking about? You cheated, so why are you saying that-"
"NO!" Fluttershy screeched in anger, cutting her off, "Don't you dare. This is not about what I did. That was sixteen years ago. This is now! What in the right mind possessed you to do that to her?! After everything she's ever done for you, after all she stuck by you through, this is how you end up repaying her?! You can't explain it rationally, then explain it anyway because I don't think either of us are hearing anything except excuses!"
Gulping, a bit put off by her sudden display in anger, Twilight took a step back, "I cheated because I was carried away. Spike visited us, and we were talking in the living room. The next thing I knew... it happened. It just... it just happened."
"It just happened?!" Rainbow balked, "Just. Fucking. Happened?! It was that easy for Spike to get a married gay woman in bed?! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Punch her," Cielle called, not looking up from her newspaper.
"Actually yes, punch me, I-"
"No one's punching anybody!" Fluttershy barked, "Twilight, sit down. Now!"
Gulping, she did so with no word of protest.
"Now, explain to us, why. Why did you do that? With a man, and in your own home? Tell us right now," Fluttershy crossed her arms over her chest.
"....I don't know! It just happened! You see, he's also Sunrise's biological father. He was the sperm donor I selected," she said, "And it was part of why I suddenly gave in to what I did."
"You... you told all of us it was a random guy you didn't even know," Fluttershy gaped, "You... You actually bore the child of your own friend and didn't even tell him? How in the world could you do that?"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time! It wasn't until I was pregnant that I realized I couldn't just tell him!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Today on the Bold and the Beautiful ," Cielle said dryly, setting her newspaper down and watching the spectacle in front of her, "So why did you come here?"
Rainbow turned around and glared at Cielle again, "Can it," she snapped before turning back to Twilight, "Actually she has a point. Why did you come here anyway?"
"I needed to tell someone," Twilight said, not quite looking at either of them, "And to gain an understanding of a cheater's perspective. I still have no idea why I did it."
"So you think I can shed a little light on the subject?" Fluttershy said, her tone containing an edge, "I'm not an expert on this. I did it once. Do you think I'm proud of it? Do you think I like thinking about it? It's a mistake I made, but it's irrelevant now. I didn't even come close to doing it for the same reasons you apparently did. Look at you. You were happily married, you have a wonderful daughter, you were on a great track to keeping yourself healthy and keeping your family safe. You were even doing so much better in your duties! Now while I'm not going to sit here and justify my own reasons, I can at least tell you why. I felt my relationship with Mac was stagnant and not as fulfilling as it had been at first. It wasn't justified, but it was a reason. What's your excuse? Ascentia's not good enough for you anymore? Were you trying to tell her something with the fertility angle?"
"NO! That's not it at all!"
"Then what is it?!"
"I said I DON'T KNOW!" Twilight screeched, with the next thing happening being an absolute blur. She'd swung back her fist and ended up punching Fluttershy in the jawline.
Staggering back, Fluttershy yelled in pain and held her jaw, shaking.
Rainbow rushed forward and caught her before she fell over, holding her steady and looking between her and Twilight, looking incredulous.
"Fluttershy, are you alright?" she asked, looking worried.
Panting in pain, Fluttershy nodded, "I-It hurts, I'll be fine.. Ow... someone get me some ice, please..."
"Oh my god.. .Fluttershy! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" Twilight cried, her stomach sinking to the pit of her being, "I didn't mean to hit you, I'm so sorry! I just got angry and... oh no, I'm sorry!"
"Shut up, Twilight!" Rainbow snapped as Cielle went to look for the ice pack, "Enough with the crocodile tears. You're talking to the masters of them."
"Hey..." Fluttershy said weakly.
"I'll explain later," Rainbow said hurridely, "I don't buy that shit for one goddamn second. If you didn't mean to hit her, THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING DO IT?! Don't answer that, I'll tell you why. For the same reason you hit Ascentia so much, for the same reason you raped her for years, and for the same reason you cheated on her. For no other reason than because you felt like it, and just because you could. Because you knew you could get away with it, and that she'd just smile and take it."
"That's not true!" Twilight said, shrinking back a little, "You had your own problems, Rainbow-"
"And if I could have gotten away with it, I would have taken the chance," Rainbow said with a glare, "Don't play confused psychotic with me, Twilight. You're not lost from your actions. You're a sociopath. Get the fuck out of my house!"
No one spoke a word, though Twilight slowly moved toward the door, trying to get her feet to move faster. She looked back at them, seeing Fluttershy glaring with anger at her, not a speck of tears in her eyes despite the pain.
"Go," she said, "Get out."
Not protesting, she did so and left, keeping her head hanging toward the ground.
"Wait!" Cielle called before the door could close. Twilight turned around, as did Rainbow and Fluttershy.
"If you're here, and Sunrise is upstairs with Spectrum," Cielle said, "Who's with Ascentia?"
"Why does someone need to be with Ascentia?" Rainbow asked.
"Psychotic woman? Creepily devoted to her abusive wife? Probably knows that her wife is cheating on her?" Cielle remarked, putting her fingers to her temple, "You do the math."
"...Does she know?" Fluttershy demanded, pressing the ice pack against her jaw.
"...Yes, she does..." Twilight turned, "And I-oh no...!" She broke into a run toward town.
"You guys still love Ascentia, right?" Cielle asked the two of them.
"Of course. She's our friend," Fluttershy said, "And I'm guessing she went to see Rarity. Ascentia was always the closest to her."
"Still, maybe you should go check," Cielle said firmly.
"Let's go, then. Rainbow, you drive."
"Gotcha," Rainbow said, helping her over to the car.
"And what was that about masters of crocodile tears?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'm talking about how you'll cry to get your way."
"Oh that was ONE time!"
"That bananna split was delicious!"
"I know," Fluttershy grinned evilly.
"Oh dear, who could that be?" Rarity looked up as the doorbell rang, "Sweetie Belle, could you answer the door?"
Sweetie Belle sighed and opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw Twilight standing on the doorstep, "Oh... hi Twilight."
"Is Ascentia here?" She asked, panting hard, "I know she usually comes to visit Rarity... I-I need to talk to her."
"...Just a second," Sweetie Belle grinned before slamming the door in her face, "RARITY!"
"It was Twilight, wasn't it," Rarity said, turning from the stove.
Sweetie Belle nodded, "She's asking if Ascentia's here. She wants to talk to her. What do I do?"
"Tell her she is not welcome," Rarity said firmly, "They can talk on their own time. But Ascentia is not ready to see her. She's napping and needs her rest."
Sweetie Belle returned to the door, looking nervous as she faced Twilight again.
"Uh... she's not here, we haven't seen her all week," Sweetie Belle said hastily.
"Yes she is, you're hiding something," Twilight said, shaking her head, "Look, I just want to talk to her."
"Uh... nope, sorry!" Sweetie Belle said, dancing a little on the balls of her feet, "She's not here."
"Yeah, she's not here," Apple Bloom said, glaring at Twilight as she came into view, "And even if she were, Ah wouldn't let ya in to see her."
"So get outta here! She's not in here! Even if she were, she doesn't want to-"
"Shh!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hissed.
Letting out a frustrated groan, Twilight shook her head, "Look, if you're going to keep her in there and tell me not to see her, at least do that. Don't start lying to me. Fine, I'll go. I'm going to go home."
"Good! Then go! Go!" Scootaloo pointed.
"Girls, come away from the door," Rarity called from the kitchen, "You've told her she isn't here, now close it."
"What are all of you yelling about?" Ascentia groaned as she came down the stairs.
"Ascentia!" Twilight cried, "Ascentia, you're there! Thank goodness you're all right. We-We need to talk!"
Ascentia stepped back a bit, looking over to Rarity for help.
"It's all right, darling, you're safe here," Rarity approached the door, "Go home, Twilight. She doesn't want to see you. And I can't say I blame her. After what you did... I wouldn't be surprised if this was her limit."
"I-I know! I just... I just have to talk to her!"
Rarity glared and slammed the door, locking it.
Ascentia sat down on the sofa, shaking a little, "She... She looked really upset..."
"Of course she is, dear. But I think that you two are in no condition to speak to each other. Heightened emotional states do not help mend a situation," Rarity said firmly as she sat beside her, "Now, once you two have cooled down and have had time away from each other, you can talk to her if you wish to. But right now, you need to relax."
Ascentia leaned back on the sofa and breathed heavily, taking a glass of water from Sweetie Belle, "...I'm scared, Rarity... I'm scared of her..."
Bringing an arm around her, Rarity gave her a comforting nuzzle, "I know you are, darling. Don't you worry. You're safe here."
"What are ya scared of?" Apple Bloom asked, half laughing, "Everyone already knows the kinda stuff she used ta do to ya. Ya afraid she might kill you?"
Ascentia shuddered and nodded.
Apple Bloom's eyes widened, "...Oh."
"Too much, Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle chided.
"Ah'm sorry," Apple Bloom said, sitting down.
"Whoa, you really think Twilight would do that?" Scootaloo asked.
"She threatened to so many times," Ascentia said shakily, "One time when she... you know... she held a knife to my neck to keep me still."
"WHAT?!" Everyone burst in shock.
Before Rarity could answer, there was a loud knocking at the door. Believing it to be Twilight again, she stood up and marched over, practically yanking the door open.
"Twilight, you have a lot of-Oh, goodness! Fluttershy! Whatever happened to you?" She exclaimed with worry.
"Twilight punched me," Fluttershy said, sighing, "She was here earlier?"
"Yeah, she was looking for Ascentia," Sweetie Belle said, "We wouldn't let her in."
"Okay, one thing at a time," Apple Bloom said, cutting across everyone else, "Fluttershy, come on in. What are you doin' here?"
"I'm here too," Rainbow came into view, holding an umbrella in her hand, "Twilight came by earlier, she told us what happened."
"We figured Ascentia came here," Fluttershy explained, "we wanted to make sure she was all right."
"Yeah, she's fine," Sweetie Belle said, before glancing at the half-crying, half shaking woman on the sofa, "Relatively speaking."
"You mind if we come see her?" Rainbow asked.
Rarity nodded and stood aside to let them in, "Sweetheart? Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are here."
Ascentia looked up and waved, her breath shaking.
Going over into the living room, the two sat beside her, while Rarity joined them as well.
"Hey," Fluttershy said softly, "We heard what happened."
Ascentia took a deep breath and tried to steady herself, "Yeah... why'd she do it? Aren't I... aren't I good enough for her?"
"Believe me, I still don't get it either," Rainbow admitted, "As much as I tried. She tried saying so, but all that came out was 'I don't know' and 'It just happened'. But to be blunt, she did it 'cause she could. 'Cause she felt she could get away with it. Like it was perfectly okay."
"It was inexcusable," Fluttershy said, gently touching her shoulder, "But in the long run, she ended up punching me. She tried making excuses, but wouldn't admit the truth of the matter. But it's not your fault. She didn't do it to spite you or because she was mad. It was just as Rainbow said, she did it because she felt she could. Like it wouldn't be a problem."
"That's terrible," Rarity said, bringing a hand to her mouth, "I cannot believe she would have actually stooped so low. It's unbelievable. To think she truly just... oh, I can't even say it! She's scum!"
"Hey," Ascentia said, "That's still m-my wife you're talking about... I think..."
"You're kiddin' me, right?" Apple Bloom asked, "Ya were just tellin' us about how she'd threaten to kill ya before they got here, now you're tryin' ta stick up for her?"
"Darling... as much as I am not to speak against the fact you love her, there is still the matter at hand. You cannot keep enabling her," Rarity said softly, touching her shoulder as well, "Look, I am in no way about to place the blame onto you. You're not to blame. But you still can't keep letting her get away with her actions."
"Well then what do I do?" Ascentia asked, touching Rarity's hand and looking around at all of them.
"How do you feel about what she did right now?" Fluttershy asked, "Be honest. How did her cheating on you make you feel?"
Ascentia didn't say anything, and only looked down in her lap. Rarity, on the other hand, started to wince and wriggled her hand.
"Darling... you're crushing my hand," she winced.
"Sorry..." Ascentia mumbled, letting go, "...Angry. Like I want to... just... get revenge."
"Get revenge?" Rainbow asked, "Like... sleep with someone else?"
Ascentia shook her head, "No. I want to break every bone in her skinny little body one by one."
Everyone winced at this.
"A... little extreme, but that's good, dear. That's exactly what we're talking about," Rarity nursed her hand a little, "It's time you called her out on what she's done to you. The love is there, yes, no one is denying that. But that doesn't excuse what she's done to you all these years and today. If you even want to attempt at mending this, should you choose to, I think you need to stop letting her get away with this abuse. Stand up for yourself, darling. That's what we're saying."
Ascentia leaned back against the sofa and looked up at the six of them, "I don't know if I can. It's been so long since I ever felt safe at home... and... even with everything she did to me, I at least knew that she loved me. But this..." She started to tear up again, "...I don't know if she really does... or if I..."
"...If you were just free sex to her?" Fluttershy asked.
Ascentia nodded.
Rainbow turned to her, surprised, "How'd you know that?"
"It's best you don't know," Fluttershy said flatly.
"Regardless," Rarity said, waving it off, "it's understandable you would feel that way. This kind of thing doesn't change overnight. And as I said, you need some time away from her and to calm down yourself before you can confront her. What you will need to do is to be honest about how you feel."
Ascentia nodded and leaned against her, shivering. Sweetie Belle spoke up and sat down next to her.
"Ascentia... she didn't really threaten to kill you, did she?" she asked hopefully.
Ascentia nodded, "She did."
"I imagine it was a long time ago, when the abuse was... quite fresh?" Rarity queried.
Ascentia nodded, and tilted her neck to show a scar running across the side, "She did this one time when I wasn't keeping still enough for her..."
"My goodness..." Fluttershy brought her free hand to her mouth, "That's horrible."
"Guess it goes with my theory. Stroking your hair with one hand, stabbing you in the back with the other," Rainbow groaned, "Seriously though, that's just... jeez! She actually pulled a knife on you?!"
Rarity shook her head, "We cannot let this happen anymore, darling. There's no telling what she could do next."
Ascentia didn't respond for a few seconds, then she bolted upright in a panic, "Sunrise! Where's Sunrise?!"
"It's okay, she's at our place," Fluttershy assured her, "Cielle and Spectrum are still there, so she's safe."
She sighed and settled back down against Rarity, "...I can't..."
"Can't what?" Rarity asked.
"I can't do it anymore," she shivered, "I... I want... I want her out of my house."
They all exchanged glances, having never heard such a thing from Ascentia in all the time they'd known her. Biting their lips, no one spoke a word for a few seconds, at least until the silence was broken by Rarity.
"Ascentia darling, it's all right," Rarity gently rubbed her back, "I won't tell you what to do, but I also don't want you to make a hasty decision when you're like this. If only for your benefit. I know you don't find it easy to cope when you're without her. But if it is indeed what you want, we will support you, no matter what you choose to do."
"We will," Fluttershy promised, "You're our friend and we'll help any way we can."
"Definitely!" Scootaloo agreed, "Right girls?"
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both nodded with smiles on their faces. Ascentia smiled weakly and stood up, heading toward the door. Stopping for a minute, she turned her head back.
"Fluttershy... if... if anything happens... Sunrise can stay with you, right?" she asked.
Nodding, Fluttershy gently patted her shoulder, "Absolutely. We'll take care of her if you need us to."
"T-Thanks," Ascentia said, stepping outside and closing the door behind her.
"Should we really be letting her go?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Probably not," Rarity bit her lip, "But I think she needs the time by herself. We've done all that we can do. Perhaps we can check on her later tonight, if nothing else."
Ascentia opened the front door to the Golden Oaks Library and strode inside, spotting Twilight at the table. Shivering for a minute, she tried her best to keep herself steady as she got a beer out of the fridge.
"Ascentia?" Twilight said softly, her voice cracking, "Is that you?"
"Who else would it be?" she said quietly, not looking at her.
Getting up from the table, Twilight exhaled, shaking a little, "Ascentia... listen. I'm not going to start apologizing, making promises I probably can't keep, and I'm not going to try justifying what I did. I just can't do all that anymore. There's no excuse for what I'd done. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn't do or say anything. So... I won't. I just... want you to know I love you."
This pushed Ascentia over the edge and she slammed the bottle down on the counter, whipping around to glare at her, "You're a fucking liar!"
Surprised by this reaction, Twilight took a step back, yet felt a sense of relief to finally see her actually angry about it. She couldn't speak. What was there to say?
"If you loved me, you wouldn't be sleeping around behind my back!" Ascentia shouted, her voice cracking, "You wouldn't have done all of this to me! And you wouldn't have been trying to justify it to our friends! Why the fuck do you keep doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?! What do I have to do, Twilight, to get you to stop. Fucking. Hurting. Me?!"
It was a hard question, something Twilight tried to wrack into her mind, but found nothing. She only sighed, barely looking at her.
"Nothing. There's nothing you can do. It's not your fault. I'm just... a damn sociopath," Twilight admitted, "My friends were right. I did what I did because I knew I could get away with it. Because I knew there were no consequences."
Ascentia's face fell for a moment, then she was only angrier. Rushing forward, she grabbed Twilight by the shirt and lifted her off the ground.
"Then what the fuck am I to you, Twilight?!" Ascentia demanded, "Am I your wife, or am I just some free cunt you get to smack around?!"
Barely even struggling, Twilight barely managed to look her in the eye, "You are my wife and I do love you. You don't believe me now and I'm not surprised you don't. But it wasn't enough to protect you from me. The love we had... it wasn't enough."
"Then why the fuck did you do all of it?!" She yelled, tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Because I'm fucked up and I hate myself! I took it all out on you! Because I wanted power over you! Because you overtook me the first time we met and I didn't understand it!" Twilight yelled, not in anger, but pain, "Because I couldn't control myself and the way I acted... I thought it was right, the only way I could ever overcome them."
Ascentia let go of her and stepped back, tears starting to flow down her face freely. She sat down at the table and put her face in her hands, screaming at the top of her voice.
"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
Standing there for a few moments, Twilight wiped her eyes and went to the door, grabbing hold of the knob, "...Thank you for not forgiving me this time."
Then she closed the door behind her and left.
Ascentia looked up in disbelief. What had Twilight just said to her? Was she really insane to have forgiven her before? And now she'd thrown it all back in her face. Screaming into her palm, she ran upstairs and threw herself down on her bed, sobbing into her arms.
She kept muttering "Please come back..." under her breath as she curled up on her bed, hugging tightly to one of the pillows. The smell of Twilight's shampoo filled her nostrils and she quickly threw it away. Crying softly against the sheets, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and a splitting headache overtaking her. Turning her back to the door, she pulled her knees up to her chest and cried softly.
Then something strange happened. An almost weightless, thoughtless sensation overcame her. As if nothing she could do at this point would carry any consequences. Sitting up, she turned to her bedside table and pulled open the drawer.
She pulled out a small pistol and looked at it for a moment. Then, remembering Fluttershy's words, that Sunrise could always stay with them, she stuck the barrel in her mouth and squeezed the trigger.