Shattering Walls

Last night, his dreams had been filled with the scent of the red stallion, and quite a few of those dreams had involved... things that he tried to not think about. Laying there, half awake, Caramel began to stretch and then froze as his hoof bumped something. What... am I touching? It feels...

Eyes snapping open, he tried to control his body as a tremor moved down from his hoof, which was just inches from Mac's crotch, gently prodding his lower belly. Calm down, Cara, it was just his belly. He's asleep anyways, he wouldn't have noticed if you did touch... Pulling away, he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, forcing his imagination to stop. Not long after he had pulled away, Mac leaned up, looking over at him sleepily, and scooted closer- now laying on his side next to the tan pony.

"Mornin' Sugar Cube..." Big Mac drawled, his eyes opening as he woke up more, sucking in a deep yawn and stretching. After his stretch, the stallion leaned over and rested a hoof on Caramel's chest, "So, ah, what's the plan fer t'day? It's a free day off... so Ah wanted to know if ya'd wanna go do anything 'n such?" Mac tilted his head, yawning again.

After yawning in response, Caramel giggled, his earlier thoughts forgotten, and prodded Mac's chest with his foreleg, "Sure, we could go into town and do something, or we could hang around the farm, or we could go hang out, ya know, wherever YOU wanna go..." Caramel smiled, shaking his head. Every time I come hang out, he always wants to do whatever I want to do... Almost always sticks around me. I know we're best friends, but it's like he needs me to approve of where we go and what we do when we hang out.

Smiling, Mac shook his head, "Nah, Ah dunno of any places to go. Ah'm a farm horse, remember... Ah don't get out much. So where'd ya like to go? Into Ponyville, or somewhere around the farm? We could, ah, hangout in tha barn like we do half o' the time, if you want." Sitting up a bit, the pony stretched once more, his hind leg raising just enough to give Caramel a full view of his heavy orbs and sheath, making the tan pony blush and cover his face with a hoof, acting like he'd sneezed as he looks away.

As Mac began to move into a standing position, Caramel took the initiative to stand as well, clearing his throat to respond, "I'd like to hang out around the farm, and go to the barn later if you want. It's been a while since we've hung out there. Remember the good old days, Mac? When we were just little colts, bouncing around in the hay and finding anything and everything to make a game out of. Like that time, when Applejack tried to figure up a way for us to fly!" he laughed, shaking his head at the memory.

Mac laughed, nodding his head, "Ha, yeah, Ah remember that. Ah had ta carry ya back to tha house 'cause you hurt your leg tryin' it." The larger pony gently headbutted Caramel, motioning afterward with a forehoof to the doorway. Blushing a little in response to Big Mac's comment, he gladly turned and began moving.

Finally outside, Caramel enjoyed the cool, late spring air. He loved this time of year, it wasn't too cold, and not too hot, and everything outside looked alive and lovely. But thinking about the liveliness of everything around him brought his thoughts around to his own situation. Even with my friends so close by... I'm still alone... I've been disowned by my parents, I'm barely supporting myself on my own... and every effort at a relationship that I've ever had has gone for nothing... I don't want to be alone..., he thought, shaking his head to ignore the train of thought and shutting his eyes to block out the beginnings of a tear. Frowning slightly, he looked back up and took a deep breath. Just don't think about it, Cara. You'll upset yourself, and then someone will want to know what you're sad about.

Mac walked along beside him, and the tan stallion looked back at him now and then. The bigger pony simply plodded along, looking at the trees with a blank expression, seemingly happy to just follow Caramel along. Thought now and then Mac would shift closer or further away, or he'd speak up about the trees and apples and how there were so many acres left to harvest. Smiling as he listened to the small talk, now and then replying about his home situation. He still needed a good dining table, and some chairs, and some furnishing for the living room.

"Cara, you know, if ya need, we have a guest bedroom. It's always open fer ya," Mac replied, stepping close to Caramel once more and resting his chin on the smaller stallion's back. Nodding, Caramel shoved his desire to take that offer way back to the back of his mind, I'd be sleeping in the room right beside yours though... I'd be feet away from you. I wouldn't be able to sleep. I wouldn't be able to do anything in there without thinking of you. I can hardly do anything now without thinking about you, Mac. I'm sorry but I just can't let myself take that offer. I can come over, I can hang out and spend time... but if I spend too much time, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep myself it check. It would be best if I didn't even come around, but... I couldn't do that, to you as my friend, or to myself.

"Thanks for the offer, Mac, I really appreciate it... But I just wouldn't want to be a burden or anything," he replied, lifting a hoof to fluff his mane a bit. The barn was close now, and Mac just nodded again, heading over to open the door for Caramel. As he stepped through, many of the memories he'd had here began to flood his mind, and he smiled in remembrance of those times. Mac stepped in behind him, bumping into his flank. Caramel blushed a bit, looking back as Mac raised a hoof and stepped further in, moving Caramel around so as to let himself have space.

"Lotsa' memories out here... Ah like to come in here durin' mah free time, it's calmin' and reminds me of things that help..." the stallion commented, his voice sounding a bit airy and distant, almost reminiscent. Looking back, Caramel watched Mac for a moment, as they moved to the center of the barn. His were half lidded, and unfocused, as though he was revisiting a scene of his memory. Not wanting to disturb him or make him jump, the tan pony sat in a pile of hay, watching and gently smiling at the other. He couldn't help it... just being around Macintosh made him happy, and they were alone together. He felt almost relaxed, as if he was free here.

After a few moments, Mac shook his head and smiled lightly, eyes brightening up as he moved over and sat beside Caramel. For a while, they just sat and talked about life, about random little things, from Apple Bloom's class to his lack of a steady job. Cara began to become a bit more careful with his words as the topic changed to his new house, and his financial situation. Finally, as if bigger pony was reading his mind, he asked the question Caramel was dreading:

"So ah, why arn't yer parents... ya know, helpin' you out? Ah thought they lived up close ta Canterlot?" the red stallion inquired, brows furling slightly as he concentrated, seeming to think up some answer to why Caramel's parents wouldn't be supporting him.

Taking a deep breath, Caramel tried to think up something convincing for Mac. But every explanation that came to his lips, he couldn't bring himself to say. After a space of time, Mac staring over at his friend with a look of friendly concern, the tan pony realized he didn't want to lie to Macintosh. Every time he opened his mouth to say something, it just wouldn't come out. He was beginning to shiver gently now, thoughts turning to how he could explain it away, and turning towards how Mac would react. Torn between telling his friend a lie or telling him the truth, Caramel began to curl in on himself. He didn't know what to do. More concerned now, Macintosh leaned in and pressed a hoof to his back, rubbing gently.

"Look... Mel, Ah, uh... Ah want ya to know Ah care about ya. You can tell me anythin', and it won't affect how I see you... don't be afraid of me, or of how Ah'll react," he spoke softly, and Caramel saw the caring in his eyes as the stallion rubbed his back comfortingly. Suddenly, with those words, he realized he not only wanted, but needed, to tell Mac what was going on. Taking a few deep, slow breaths to calm himself, the tan pony set his forelegs, shaking gently, on the ground. Leaning against Macintosh, he tried to find some way to say what needed to be said.

After moments of thought, and trying to make everything coherent in his mind, Caramel looked up with a tear dripping from his eye. Opening his mouth one more time to speak, the words finally began to flow, "Mac... I'm not exactly sure how to say this. My parents and I, well... we had a disagreement, and they couldn't come to terms with what I'd told them. So they've... they've stopped talking to me except when they have to, and they've basically disowned me. They don't intend to support me, in any way, shape, or form. So... I'm alone. I have no one but my friends. I'm glad you're my friend, Big Mac."

Lifting a hoof to rub his cheek and chin, the red stallion sighed and nodded gently, as if agreeing on something within himself. He suddenly seemed a little tense and strained, almost nervous as he leaned closer to Caramel.

"Sugar Cube... ya know, Ah'm not the best with words. B-but, let me try to... Ah know what being alone feels like. Ah have few friends that Ah could call... close to me. And outta them, yer the most important to me. But again... your parents were wrong to do that to ya, no matter what you've done. They should love you the most, of anyone. Ah'm sorry it hasn't gone well with them... but if Ah can ask... what is so wrong that they'd do this to ya? And... Cara, Ah-"

Sniffing gently, rubbing a hoof across his nose as Mac spoke up, Caramel suddenly felt the small space between them, and he really noticed the red stallion. As he continued to speak, and as the tan pony thought, it suddenly snapped into place. But he wasn't sure... and then piling his hopes up, not letting him think about it, Caramel looked into Mac's eyes, stopping him short. Their gazes locked, and understanding began to dawn on the two.

At the same moment, in unison, they whispered the question, "Are you gay?"

Mac didn't seem to know what to do, he just sat, dumbfounded to watch the tan stallion. Caramel watched him in return, hoping against all hope as he nodded slowly, no longer able to speak as he felt the tears welling up. Almost instantly, Mac snapped into reality, taking a deep breath.

"Eeyup," he whispered, trembling heavily and nodding in response. Reaching a hoof forward, he leaned towards Caramel. Still trying to process what had just happened, still unable to really come to terms with reality, the tan pony was in shock. He'd never, in all of his years of hiding away in a box, in all of his years of watching Mac and developing their friendship, he'd never even guessed. It didn't seem possible, and he definitely wasn't that lucky. Was this some kind of dream?

That question was quickly answered as Mac leaned in, kissing him passionately, his forelegs pulling Caramel close. Shock broken away by this new show of affection, and frozen by Mac's closeness, he didn't know what to do. Instincts slowly took over as he kissed Mac back, but his mind raced, body trembling as he realized that Mac actually liked him back. With that realization, and the closeness of his friend, the tears overflowed, and he reached forward, clinging to Macintosh with a desperation and need that he'd never allowed himself to feel. After years of knowing he would never have a chance, of shooting himself down and holding back his feelings, he could actually do so now. And so he sobbed, tears of joy and pain and hundreds of other emotions flowing down his muzzle as he pressed back against Mac, kissing him firmly as he wrapped himself tightly against the other.

Moments later, as they broke apart for breath, Mac smiled. It was simple, gentle smile, but it held all the love Caramel had ever wished for. And he cried more, holding himself close to the red stallion, as Mac asked one final question:

"Sugar Cube... w-will you be my... my coltfriend?" the stallion barely got out the words before Caramel nodded, unable to say anything as he was overwhelmed with his emotions. Mac began to wipe away his tears, kissing his face gently, as they sat beside each other, held tightly in one another's embrace.