"Fuck You, Twilight" and Other Poems by The Prolific and Eloquent Trixie

My Mistress' Eyes are Inconsistent
by Burraku_Pansa

My mistress’ eyes might be her strongest trait,
The way the soul behind them seems to glow.
One hungry glance is all she needs to throw
To wobble knees with otherworldly weight.
My mistress’ mane is so beautifully straight,
Like fragrant grass in row by precise row—
But such perfection nature’d never grow
As the hairs here headed on my heady mate.

Oh, but there’s so much more to my dear, darling Twilight:
Seeing through the gleaming eyes, looking past the silky hair,
This magician recognizes quite a magic-minded mare.
How else could come the energy to last all through the night,
Be she up late minding homework with her characteristic care
Or engaged with yours truly in some far more lusty affair?

My mistress’ eyes are purple, dull, and plain;
It’s such a common color, mine are the same!
And don’t even get me started on her mane;
I mean, pink stripes? You can’t get much more lame.

A pigeon’s wings, a foul mule’s face,
A rump filled out with fat perfectly wrong.
She’s lucky she looks so good in lace,
Or I’m sure we’d never get along.

Her maker must’ve thought, “Why stop at that?”
Because her personality is just as bad:
Today she almost smacked me—such a brat!
What did I even do to make her mad?

A less fortunate filly would pray for the luck
To have a marefriend who tells her how not to suck.

My mistress’ eyes are too much like the sun,
Angry, bright, and fiery—I should run.

~~Dramatic much, chasing me from our home?~~
~~To hear her yell, you’d think I broke a law;~~
~~Really, it was such a childish fit to pitch.~~
~~What’d she expect, reading that other poem?~~
~~This is my place to lay my feelings raw;~~
~~Not my fault if some days she’s a bitch.~~

~~…But what if she reads thi~~

That Twilight, she’s a girl with endless passion!
Her voice is music heard for miles around!
She’s sensitive, and oh so very youthful!
Loves poetry—loves all romantic fashion!
Her empathy never fails to astound!
If she calls me names, she’s only being truthful!