(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "I Won't Say (I'm In Love))"

Sung by Pinkie Pie

Pinkie seems to be under the impression that Derpy Hooves has become totally different to the pony she initially remembered. Of course, nopony listened. I think her mentioning a race of strange people that monitor their every move and their angry bipedal parents didn't help her case.

Whatever the case, Pinkie has to take care not to mention her name in view of these strange observers "to preserve the natural order".

If there's a prize for rotten judgment,
Moral guardians won that
No mare is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history
Been there, done that

Who d'you think you're kiddin'?
They don’t name her to be meanies
The real reason’s hidden
The offenses meant are teeny
Parents can’t conceal it
Their over-reaction
And what they're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, so wrong
Say You-Know-Who
Before a lawsuit comes on,
Gets in our way
I won't say Derpy’s name

I just don’t know what went wrong right here
It feels so good when it first aired
Then there was lots of angry letters
So to make sure all was spared
(Ohhh...)

There was controversy
About wonky eyes and ditzy
Least it didn’t get worse-y
She’s in Season 4, still glitzy
But a bunch of grown-ups
Forced Hasbro to own up
And change the whole scene like so

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no
Got news for you
It’s taboo, Derpy’s name
They rue the day
They can’t say Derpy’s name
Got no choice, lose the voice
And the name

They're way off base, I won't say it
Get off their case, I won't say it
Like Voldemort
It's okay, Derpy’s name

Ohhh...
At least out loud,
I won't say Derpy’s name
Sha-la-la-la la la, ahh

Author's Note

As requested by Revenant Wings