(Note: Sung to the tune of Mulan's "I'll make a man out of you")

Sung by Mayor Mare and the Ponyville residents

Ponyville is a small quiet town, with the occasional strange and terrifying incidents to break the humdrum of an otherwise orderly life.

It was not always so.

Before Twilight Sparkle came along, bringing her organisation skills with her for the better, Mayor Mare had to defy the concept of "ain't no rule" as much as she could.

Let's get down to business
To put up some rules
Parkour on the rooftops
No that's just not cool!
Using cats as hoofballs
That's just cruel
So's using mules to make some glue
Watch me, I'll put a ban on it too

Please stop telling Pinkie
You want what she's on
There's blood still on the fountain
And I want it gone
Stop mocking me with
Exaggerated
Limb movements right on cue
Or else I'll put a ban on it too

I can't call griffins "horseybirds"
Not allowed back at the nightclub
(I replaced the DJ's tracks with fennel seed)

I must go use the proper words
I can't spy on folks in bathtubs
I should accept that goats and tigers cannot breed

(Put a ban)
Because the strangest thing of all is
(Put a ban)
They happened enough times to warrant rules
(Put a ban)
With all my authority as Mayor
I will close up all the loopholes in the pool

Lyra's not cannon fodder
And Town Hall does not have
Tuesday Open-Mike Nights
And don't steal my staff
And please do not cite
Nightmare Moon
As the greatest influence on you
Watch as I put a ban on it too!

(Put a ban)
Because the strangest thing of all is
(Put a ban)
They happened enough times to warrant rules
(Put a ban)
With all my authority as Mayor
I will close up all the loopholes in the pool

(Put a ban)
Because the strangest thing of all is
(Put a ban)
They happened enough times to warrant rules
(Put a ban)
With all my authority as Mayor
I will close up all the loopholes in the pool

Author's Note

As requested by Cstgeorge. Inspired by the famous "100 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In Hogwarts" lists that are everywhere.