The Fabled

A warm breeze, trees dancing in the wind. Clouds scattered along the sky like a sheet on a bed. Was I dead? It's too...beautiful. I must be dead, but how did I die? And why am I still wearing my gear? How can I have these questions answered? Odd, I'm still wearing my kevlar along with my pack, but where is my ammunition and rifle? I don't even have my sidearm. Does heaven forbid weapons? Surely it wouldn't matter if everyone was immortal in heaven. I should be wearing some comfortable clothes right now instead of this musty ACU.

I better get up and start moving. This forest is really dense...and dark. It looks a lot like that jungle in...maybe it would be best if I forgot about that. What the hell? Is that a chicken?

The cockatrice lunges straight toward the man, wings spread and eyes red and glistening.

"OH JESUS CHRIST! WHERE'S MY KNIFE? WHERE IS IT?"

Astintosh fumbles around his pockets looking for his trusty four inch blade, which is nowhere to be found. The cockatrice, at full pace, attacks the soldier with it's beak.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

Astintosh throws the cockatrice to the ground, breaking it's neck, sending it in a crazy wacky oscillation. Like a chicken without his head, it stumbles over some bushes and runs off.

"What on Earth was that?!"

"I better get out of here, I don't have anything to defend myself with. And I need to find something to eat, and I need water, shelter..."

Astintosh breaks down to his knees, hands over his helmet, tears filling his eyes.

"WHERE AM I?!"

=======================

"Spike, can you grab us something to eat? I'm starving. Maybe some hayburgers or something." Said the purple alicorn.

"Sure thing Twilight." Spike grumbles under his breath. Yelling can be heard in the distance, and it sounds unfamiliar. "Did you hear that Twilight?"

"Hear what?" Twilight said.

"Maybe if you weren't staring at your books you would have heard it."

"Spike, I have to study these books. What if Princess Celestia gives me a pop quiz, and then I fail it, and maybe she'll actually throw me in a dungeon?!"

"We've been over this already Twilight, the Princess isn't gonna throw her prized student in a dungeon because you failed a pop quiz. And besides why would she need to quiz you if you're a princess yourself?"

"Gee Spike never mind then. So what did you hear? What could possibly be better than my books?"

A knocking can be heard on the door.

"I be right there, hold on." Said Spike.

Spike opens the door, only to be startled so much he gasps and faints right onto the hard wood floor, along with Twilight, at the sight of an almost six foot human wearing camouflage.

"AHHHH,I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you faint! Whatever you are. I made that horse pass out too. That's starting to become very common with these strange, multi-colored, horses."

What do I do? Should I help them?

"Hello? Miss? Are you okay?"

Twilight's eyes slowly open. Hyperventilation is almost inevitable.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT US!" Said Twilight.

"No I'm not gonna hurt you, I actually wondered if you were going to hurt me. Hehe."

"What are you doing here?"

Again with the questions. When will I get an answer myself?

"I'm...not really...sure..."

"Well, if you promise you wont hurt us, then welcome I guess. I'm sure you haven't had the best first impression with everypony in town."

Every...pony? So these things are little horses? What a strange dream I must be having.

"Stay here. I have to round up everypony and show them that you're not evil and want to destroy the whole town." Said Twilight.

Twilight leaves the library, and the purple and green lizard thing is still asleep. Then blackness fills Astintosh's eyes, and his vision is obscured. He is punched in the gut along in the face and instantly knocked unconscious.