PJ's Adventures in Equestria

Dear Twilight Sparkle

I am most curious about this new arrival you say we have, such a creature has never been seen in Equestria or any other countries throughout the world. I must ask you to keep this 'PJ' a secret from the town populace until I meet with him myself and decide what is to be done with him. He does not sound threatening but precautions must be taken under these circumstances. I trust you will make him as comfortable as possible in the time being.

Yours sincerely

Princess Celestia

Spike finished reading the response we had received from the princess mere moments after sending her the information I had given to them. I had been nervous that she would want me killed or something but the kind sounding letter put my mind at ease, although the letter also confirmed something that we had only speculated on so far. I was definitely not on my own world anymore.

I also had new reason to be nervous now as I was going to be meeting with a princess. I had never interacted with the monarchs of my country on my own damn planet, what the hell was I going to do in this situation?

Then came a rather refined voice breaking the ice "A meeting with the princess. Oh you simply must get some better clothes for the occasion". As much as Rarity's comments about my clothes pissed me off; I had in fact chosen these myself and thought they looked quite good, she did have a point. My current clothes are dirty and even if they weren't I doubt these are the kinds of things a guy wears when he's meeting royalty.

With a sigh of defeat I asked the dreaded question "What did you have in mind?"

She immediately grew a smile on her face that rivalled even Pinkie Pie's if you can believe that. "Twilight," she began "could I borrow him for a little while? Do not worry dear he won't be seen."

"Well, okay Rarity. But remember not to let Sweetie Belle see him." Twilight replied.

"No need to worry darling, she is out with those little friends of hers so she shouldn't be back for a long time." With that Rarity's horn began to glow a bright blue and a flash blinded me into covering my eyes. I blinked a few times and adjusted my glasses in an attempt to regain my eyesight, when I did the change of location took me by complete surprise.

I found myself surrounded by pink decorations, most of the high ones had hearts on them. I was clearly in a place of buisness as there was a cash till on a counter at the far side. Everywhere I looked I could see mannequins in the shape of ponies (ponyquinnes?), all of which had some form of clothing on them. Mostly dresses. Good God, a fashion designer that works mostly on females is going to be making my clothes.

She levitated a tape-measure from behind the counter "Now then take your clothes off if you please."

I stared at her in shock "Please tell me you're joking." I pleaded to which she shook her head.

"How am I supposed to get your proper measurements if you're wearing those things? And, prey tell, why are you so apprehensive about it in the first place?"

"It's kind of a big thing back home that it's not socially acceptable to be naked in front of other people unless under certain circumstances" I think she understood.

"Oh my. Well unless you get those clothes off you're going to be stuck in them for quite a long time so if I were you I would get it over with, we should only have to do this once."

Tired of arguing I complied and removed all of my clothing except for my boxer shorts, I am not going butt-ass naked if I can help it. Besides, they're tight enough for her to measure accurately through them.

"Stand up straight please. Arms out." I complied and stood as she wanted. She measured absolutely everything. My arms, my legs, my torso and even my head for some reason. I just decided it was in case I wanted a hat. It took the best part of an hour to get the measurements done but when they were I could finally breathe a sigh of relief as I put my clothes back on. Dirty or not this was definitely more comfortable.

"Alright, all done. I'll get to work right away and have them done by tomorrow."

I was about to thank her but then something occured to me "Thanks Rarity but to be honest I don't really have any money so how do you suppose I can pay for this?"

"Pay? Oh no darling I will have none of that. This is a favour for a friend and as such there is no need for payment." she waved a hoof dismissively.

I was taken aback by how generous this pony was, nobody back home would have been this nice. I think I'm going to like it here I thought to myself. "Wow thanks. This means a lot. Do you think you could send me back to the library please?"

"Of course, just hold on a moment" her horn once again glowed bright blue and with a flash I found myself in the wooden library.

Twilight is sat in front of a table reading a book when she looks up and smiles at me. "Hey, you were gone a while. Everypony else left." She was right, we were completely alone but I suspected that Spike was still around somewhere. As if to confirm my suspicions she added "Spike is upstairs asleep. Do you want something to eat?"

That caught my attention. I swear my stomach has a mind of its own as it growled to answer for me, earning another grin from Twilight as I smiled sheepishly. She got up and went into a room that turned out to be a kitchen, she stood completely still for a few seconds before turning around and asking "What do you eat anyway?"

This question caused a feeling of dread to wash over me as I knew I would have to answer honestly or I might lose their trust. It was a miracle they hadn't noticed my canines yet and I didn't want to press my luck so I just came out with it. "I'm omnivorous."

Twilight's eyes went wide and for a moment I thought she was going to scream but she quickly regained her calm demeanor "But you can still eat vegetarian?" I nodded. "Then we should be alright as long as you can go without meat, you can can't you?" Once again I nodded. Twilight hummed to herself for a little while before asking "How does a tomato and lettuce sandwich sound?"

"That sounds great." I lied. I was never a huge fan of either but I want to make a good impression or I wasn't going to last very long here. After some working with the food she levitated over a plate with the sandwich on it which I took and place on the table Twilight had been sat at. It was only now that I really acknowledged just how short these ponies were, Twilight came up to about my chest which wasn't that high at all given how short I was by human standards.

I decided to drop it and get on with the horrible food in front of me, I picked up the sandwich, took a bite and...

...it was the single most amazing thing I had ever tasted. I mean it was better than a McDonald's hamburger coated with all sorts of crap. If all food tastes this good here I was going to be very happy. I wolfed down the sandwich in a couple of minutes leaving Twilight laughing at me. "My my, you're a hungry one aren't you?"

"Not really," I replied "that was just the best damn thing I've ever tasted in my life. Is all the food that good here?"

"Most of it. It's all freshly grown in the best soil around. Was it not like that in your world?"

"Nah, there was so much pollution and shit that all the vegetarian food tasted like complete fucking rubbish. Pardon my language." She laughed a little at that last part, I still don't know why. I yawned loudly and then another though occurred to me "Uh... Twilight. Where am I going to sleep?"

"We have a spare bed prepared for you upstairs. It might be a little small but I'm sure you'll find it comfortable." She began leading me upstairs and we came to a bedroom, I still can't believe she lives in a library. In the bedroom I saw the sleeping form of Spike in a basket and a bed that I can only assume was Twilight's. There was another bed by the far wall that wasn't as well kept as the other two so assumed it was mine.

I lay down in it and found that I could bend my knees to make sure my entire body was on the bed and still remained relatively comfortable. I rested my head on the pillow "Goodnight Twilight." I said.

"Goodnight PJ, welcome to Equestria." she replied before leaving the room and I fell into a deep sleep.