Convenient

"What's that, there?" Applejack asked Jeremy.

"A book." Will answered.

"Oh, Really? Ah thought it was a apple!" She snapped with sarcasm. "Ah meant, why do ya have it and what's important about it?"

"Love you AJ, your my favorite pone." Jeremy pointed to her with his other fist on his heart. "Love the sarcasm too!"

"Pone?" Applejack cocked her head and narrowed her eyes.

This little gem has a juicy little piece of information on how Rainbow Dash and Jack were able to get into Equestria with that potion." Jeremy said shaking the book in the air. "Why don't you all take a gander and have a look see here." Jeremy said as he walked over to show everyone the bookmarked page in the text. Rainbow Dash and I looked at each other and thought about our options.

"His bedroom." Right when I finished saying that, Dash and I pivoted close enough to Jeremy so that we both could touch him. In an instant we were gone again. The three of us were now in his dark bedroom. "Your not telling them." I told him.

"You kissed a pony." Jeremy stated with a gaping smile. "That's hilarious for like twelve different reasons."

"It was the only way to get back!" Dash countered.

"Still happened. Still funny." He said.

"Give us the book." I demanded.

He held up his empty hands. "Oh no!" He said with no trace of sincerity. "I must have dropped it! Oh well, probably better you don't get your gross nose blood all over it."

I touched my nose to wipe away a pool of blood. "Damn it." I looked over to Dash. "Let's go back then."

I touched Dash's shoulder with my clean hand to make the connection, only to have it replaced with Jeremy's hand. Before I could stop it, we were already back at my house in my living room with my brother and the other two ponies.. "... Oral transaction?" Applejack read the book on the ground. "What's that mean?"

Twilight didn't respond, she just gaped at the two of us. Jeremy snickered behind us. Will finally paused the T.V. when what she said hit him. "I know what that means." Will said, expressionless. "It means that those two practically spit in each other's mouth to get their little power!" Will announced. "Dad's gonna flip his shit when he comes back! You might want all this to him in pieces or else he's gonna have a heart attack."

"Can we pause this conversation slash argument before it starts." I requested while wiping my gushing nose with a paper towel that was on the table beside me. "I'v lost a lot of blood and i'm feeling a little light headed."

"It's what you deserve!" Twilight shouted. "How could you force Rainbow to do something like that?"

"He never forced me to do anything..." Rainbow Dash cut in. "When did I ever say anything remotely like that?"

"I know!" I reinforced Dash's argument. "It was more of her choice then mine!"

"What do you mean by that?" Dash whipped her head to me.

"You convinced me to do it." I reminded her.

The two other ponies looked at Dash with shock. "Wha- I didn't convince you of anything!" She said back to me.

"Yes you did! I didn't want to do it when I read that part of the instructions!" I retorted.

"Then why'd you get a boner after!" Dash snapped.

Minuets passed and no one or pony made any sound of any kind. It turned very awkward, very fast. I looked around the room to everyone, they all stared at me with astonishment. Jeremy broke the silence. "Jack... Did a pony take advantage of you?" He started his cackle again.

"What's a boner?" Twilight whispered over to Applejack, who shrugged in response.

"It's an erection." Will revealed to them. They switched their focus from Dash over to me. "He got an erection... For a pony." Will's mouth gaped in amazement towards me.

"She did too!" I said.

"Do you see something wrong with that sentence, Jack?" Will said, raising his eyebrows. "She got a boner..."

"No it's different for pegasi, their wings extend." I said to Will.

He just stared at me. "Oh, i'm sorry I was waiting for the 'the more you know' message to randomly appear. How does this make it better if she liked it too!"

"Well I don't want to be the only one labeled as a perv." I said. "Makes me seem less creepy in my opinion."

Dash's friends slowly turned to face her. "Dash, did ya get excited when y'all did that?" Applejack questioned Dash.

Rainbow Dash couldn't form the words to explain. "I-...Bu-...Whe-..." She was stuttering and tripping over her own words. She eventually gave up and looked at the ground in shame.

We were stuck in awkward silence again. Jeremy was trying to hold in his chortle. Besides that, everything was silent. The bleeding in my nose was slowing down and everyone, excluding Rainbow Dash and I were scanning the faces of the others in the room. Our faces were a deep shade of red. "Those would be the weirdest looking babies ever..." Jeremy whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. Everyone but Dash and I burst out into laughter. Their faces were turning red from the intensity of how hard they were laughing at our awkward moment. Even our two new guests were having a great time laughing at the situation before us.

"What's so funny?" Dash asked, irritated and embarrassed.

"Because you two are pretty much a couple!" Jeremy said between chuckles.

"No were not." I said flatly.

"Yea, you pretty much are." Will said, calming down. "Riddle me this, have you two ever separated since she came here, hopefully besides showering and bathroom times?"

"Yea!" I replied.

"Oh really?" Will said with skepticism. "I live here too, retard. I know that she's been with you ever since you brought her to our house. I know that you took her to school. And I know that you two kissed!"

"Shut up Will, or we're going to flash-bang you like we did with everyone else in here." Rainbow Dash threatened.

"Your going to what me?" He started to chuckle again. "What can you do to me?"

Dash looked over her shoulder to me. "How are you doing can you do it again or do need some more time?"

"I made sure to save enough room for Will, Dash." I replied. We both faced my brother. "Annnnnnnnnd.....go."

We leaped over the two ponies on the ground before us to Will on the couch. Dash tapped his forehead while I slapped him in his manhood. In one more flash of light we were back in Twilight's library. Spike was organizing books when we came. "Is this going to be a regular thing?" He asked, sighing. "Because I would like some warning. Who did you bring this time?"

We watched my brother squirm on the ground, clutching his ears and testicles with a hand on each. "His brother because he was being a jerk." Dash explained. "Jack, why's he holding his crotch?"

"Oh, because I hit him in the balls for my point of connection." I said with a snicker.

"Nice." Spike said as he approached our line to watch my brother roll on the ground. "This pleases me." Spike held up his hand without breaking his focus on Will, which I met with a satisfying smack. "You should have this though, stop bleeding everywhere, it's gross." He handed me a hand towel. I took it and tried to stop my nose, I had stopped noticing the nose bleeds because of how often they were happening now.

"One day you need to come to my world, Spike." I said to him. "Get to know some males who are able to say more then one word and that aren't either gay or nerds."

"Sounds fun, but I'm not crazy on going through this though." He said as we watched my brother hit his face on the wall because he rolled a little to much to the left. "Maybe when you two can cut this out. What's been happening over there anyway? I sense that this is not the only reason you came."

"Don't want to talk about it." Dash answered. "Twilight probably will anyway when she get's back."

"What do you mean by that?" Spike asked with curiosity.

"Either drop it now, or experience what he is." She motioned to my brother who was trying to sit up.

"Dropping will do nicely then." Spike stated and walked back to finish his original assignment. "I just like to be filled in on things."

"They really got to you, huh?" I asked Dash.

"It's just been... weird for me." She hedged.

"It's been weird for me since I saw you fall." I said to my blue pegasus friend. "Doesn't mean it hasn't been amazing just hanging out with you though."

"Thanks." She approved with a brohoof.

"Jack, I'm going to come into your room tonight and beat your ass with a eggplant vibrator!" Will shattered our moment from the floor.

"The things he says..." I said while pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. "...Just makes me depressed that i'm related to him."

"Send him back?" Dash proposed.

"Indubitably." I said. "See ya Spike, I'll catch ya later, maybe in like ten minutes."

"Peace." Spike said in a deep, booming voice. I love Spike so much. Dash and I then brought our hand and hoof across my brother's face and we were instantly back home in our living room. His agony was then refreshed and he was back to rolling on the floor, but with more impacts with the wall since our living room was much smaller then Twilight's library.

The two ponies had retaken their places on the couch while Jeremy was sitting perpendicular from them on the other couch. I concluded that not enough time had passed between teleports, because my nose had stated to gush blood like a faucet. I was already lightheaded before and this certainly did not help. I slumped down at the foot of the end of the couch the ponies were occupying. "Jack, are you alright?" Dash said, jumping to my side. There's the element of loyalty.

"I'm fine, just fine." I chocked out. "Just bleeding out through my nose."

"Your fine." Jeremy said pretending to smack that idea out of the air. "He although might not be." He said looking at my brother slide around on the wood floor.

"He's OK. I don't want to be around when he recovers though." I said as I got to my feet with Dash's help. "You two ready to go back?"

"You can't take them back now!" Dash said with concern. "Not like you are now!"

"I was wonder about your moon though." Twilight cut in. "Why's it so low? I'v noticed it's been slowly moving higher from my observations. Why and How? Who controls your moon and sun here?"

"I'll tell you later." I told her. "First, let me eat an orange to try and get some blood and then we will take your two back. I also don't want to be around for when he gets up." Will grunted again as he learned that rolling around doesn't help at all.

Twilight still wanted answers though. Her horn glowed with an ominous purple haze than enveloped my brother. The haze brightened a bit then disintegrated, leaving nothing then my unconscious brother behind. "There, now we have time before he's able to repay you."

"Cool, thanks." I walked over to the kitchen to get something that would bring some blood into my body. "By the way, we don't have a sun and a moon god like you do. Some people might believe so in like Norway or some other place, but we really don't."

"That doesn't make any sense though." Twilight protested. "How does it raise and lower then?"

"They do it themselves." I told her as I brushed some dust off an orange. "Look, we've already explained this to Rainbow Dash in school, I don't want to do it again."

"Fine, but you will later on though." Twilight ordered, then it clicked. "Wait you went to his school, volentarily? Why the hay would you do that?" She asked Rainbow Dash.

"Because we were pulling pranks on them most of the day. it was fun!" Rainbow Dash answered.

"Did ya already forget about what him and Rainbow did?" Applejack elbowed Twilight. "How are ya not askin' them more about that?"

"Their solar and lunar patterns interested me more then that at the moment." She replied. "Although I still have many questions about that too."

"Same here." Jeremy said from the couch. "Did you guys do that right when you got home?"

"Yea, I showed her some other things first, but pretty much." I told him. "I'v been in Equestria all damn afternoon."

"Y'all said it wasn't hard to make." Applejack said. "Why not make another one and leave the worlds alone?"

"Many reasons." Rainbow Dash answered. "One, to do that I would have to do that with one of you, and I don't feel like going through that again... Two, as we've said before, the worlds aren't going to explode or anything so calm the hay down. Third, Jack saved my life and we were just going to hang out in Equestria." She said looking back to me, who had sunken my teeth into the orange and gave a thumbs up in approval.

"Seems like ya found yer special somepony, Dash." Applejack joked.

"Shut up, AJ." Rainbow Dash hissed.

"Seriously though, Will said that you two have been together since Friday, you share the same room, you were kind of cuddling in the last period, you two are pretty much like that. Plus when you kissed her she was naked i'm assuming. Mainly because she's naked most of the time. Jack, you kissed a naked girl. There's no going around that, I think that's special" He noticed that we were both glaring at him. "Don't even try doing that thing to me again, because it's not going to work anymore. The last one was much less like I was hit by a bus and a semi at the same time then the first one." He said to us.

"That's our Que to leave, then." I announced, as I finished the orange.

"Alright then." Applejack agreed.

"What about me?" Jeremy asked. "I was asleep when you brought me here!"

"Your a jerk, and not our problem. Get Will to drive you home when he gets up." Dash told him. "If we have to take those two home, we can't take you too."

"I only spoke the truth, and it was worth it by TENFOLD!" Jeremy shouted with a fake regal tone. "You know it too. That's why you've stopped shouting 'it's not like that!'"

"Because it's pointless to." I said, walking back over to the group. "There's no point in arguing with you. Buckle up for your second trip, it's still going to hurt you two."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked. "It didn't hurt at all the first time."

"Because you passed out, remember?" Rainbow Dash explained. "We'll take you first Twilight."

"OK, let's go, I'm ready." We didn't send much time taking Twilight and Applejack back. I just wanted to get it done so that I could stop face bleeding for the day. Right before we took Applejack back we stopped and faced Jeremy, who in return, presented his middle finger for our departure.

"We need to do more things to him." I suggested to Rainbow Dash.

"Yea, I think we just found our new guinea pig." She said. "Hey Jack, I didn't react as much as them, did I?" She said looking at Twilight and Applejack pressing on their ears on the ground. Their faces were on the floor of Twilight's home.

"Nah, you took it with more grace." I said. They were recovering fast though, they were already sitting up and attempting to look at us. They rubbed their eyes and blinked repeatedly. I was worried that my hoodie was going to be stained, forever in blood.

"Rainbow Dash? Jack?" Applejack asked into the haze. "Ah think this is mah clue to call it a night. You know that old pony saying: Once yer blind and deaf, time to hit the sack." She said as she stumbled out of the door to Ponyville.

"Yea, that one stuck with me through the years." I said sarcastically.

"We should probably go too." Rainbow Dash said as she started to trot to the door with me not far behind. "See ya Twi!"

"What?" Twilight yelled at the wall.

"Twilight's turn for this now?" Spike asked us while we were in the threshold of the library.

"Pretty much, you should be expecting it too, soon." I said with a smile. "I have some things I think you'll enjoy." I paused to think about if Spike would like playing Skyrim. "Bye." We slid out the door to leave Spike with the dazed unicorn.

"What now?" Rainbow Dash asked me as we walked to nowhere.

"It's pretty late, should probably go home." I proposed. "Also should probably go straight to my room, so we can lock the door. Will might be a little perturbed that we did that."

"Why would we go home to your place?" Twilight asked. "We're back in Ponyville, I have my own house! And Will could use some time to cool off too..."

"Good point." I said to her. "Good point, indeed."

***

We were walking to Rainbow Dash's home and it had just finally come into view. "Holy crap." Her house was stunning. It seemed to be made of clouds that were supported by ivory, Corinthian pillars. There appeared to be a driveway for some reason... Why the hell would she need a driveway? Waterfalls of rainbows poured from the sides. God I hope that's not her sewage... There was another giant rainbow that shout out of the dome on the highest point that emptied into another rainbow-fall. "It's like an acid trip with all the colors." I mumbled to myself.

"Pretty awesome, right?" Dash said as we stopped to admire her home.

"Yea..." Was all I could say loud enough for her to hear.

"Com'on." She said as she took off with her wings.

I snapped out of my daze and took a step back to realize that she motioned for me to follow her. "Rainbow Dash, what's wrong with this picture?" I asked, holding my arms out to try to get her to see.

"Oh." She remembered that humans were not gifted with flight. "Whatever, it's just the two of us so doing that weird teleport thing should be ea-"

"I'v never seen your house before." I interrupted her. "For some reason the show never went to your house at all. They showed zoomed out pictures of it but I don't know it well enough to use that to get there."

She descended from the air to think of a way to solve this predicament. "What if I just carried you up there? I bet i'm strong enough."

"No." I quickly shot down the idea. "I'm not going to let you carry me up there."

"Why not?" She asked me. "You've carried me lots of times before!"

"Because I'm a guy, it's suppose to be that way. girls don't carry guys, it's weird." I tried to explain.

"So your fine with the potion thing, but this is too weird for you?" She said, annoyed.

"It's different. I might not seem like it, but I believe in the values of chivalry." I said. "You will never see me hit a girl, nor carried by one. I would rather sleep on the ground right here."

"Wait, they said that you threw Applejack at them!" Rainbow Dash said. "How is that chivalrous?"

"I said hit, not throw." I told her. "I knew that they would catch her!"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "It would be sweet, if it wasn't inconvenient." She thought of another way. "Maybe we could use an air-balloon, I know that Pinkie Pi-"

"HI!" Pinkie pie shouted from what seems like nowhere. Her appearance startled me and I fell over backwards.

"Does just saying your name summon you?" I muttered.

"Don't be silly, Jack. She's everywhere." Rainbow Dash corrected.

"Yep! So I heard that you two needed an air-balloon and I was over there with my air-balloon. So I though, hey, maybe they need my air-balloon. So then I came over here to ask you if you need my air-balloon." Pinkie pie rambled. Oh, my god, does she ever end a sentence? "Do you need my air-balloon?"

"Yes! Please Pinkie." Dash snapped. "Could you use you're air-balloon to get Jack up to my house, please."

"Okey-doky-loky!" She said cheerfully as she did a cartwheel over to a random air-balloon that seemed out of place.

"Has that been there the whole time?" I asked Dash while Pinkie made the preparations.

"I have no idea." Dash admitted. "It's Pinkie Pie, she destroys logic."

***

Ten minuets of nonstop talking later, we reached her porch with the balloon. "OK, we're here!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Thank you, Pinkie." I said as I started to climb out of the basket.

Rainbow Dash was already waiting on the cloud. Then she remembered. "WAIT! Jack, can you walk on clouds?"

My eyes stared off into nothingness, thinking about my current action. I sighed. "We should have thought this through more." I said. "Anyway, only one way to fine out!" I said as I let go of the basket I was out of.

"JACK, WAIT!" Rainbow Dash cried as she tried to stop me. I felt no pain from this fall, however.

I landed on my back, on the cloud. I sat up and noticed that I had not fallen through. I turned out to Dash, while still on the cloud. "I love it when shit just happens for you." I said with a beaming smile.

Dash's face blushed from her embarrassing, unnecessary reaction. "So do I."

"OK, you two love-ponies have fun," Pinkie said. "I have some business to take care of." Her face adopted grave seriousness, and she descended back down to the ground.

"Pinkie's freaking crazy..." Dash said. "Alright! You get to see my house now."She said as she opened her front door. For some reason she had a normal wood door for her cloud house.

"Hold on a second." I said as I examined the surface I was on.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm on a cloud!" I shouted. I flopped back down on my back and rolled around on the fluffy floor. "It's true what they say... I'm so damn comfortable right now."

"It's not that big of a deal..." Dash said cocking a brow. "...It's just a cloud."

"It's a big deal for me though!" I retorted. "I'm the first human ever to touch a cloud like this! Others have skydived through them, but never anything like this! It's so amazing!"

"Alright, you want to come in now or do you want to roll around some more?" Dash asked with a giggle, she was amused about how excited I was about something that was everyday for her.

"I'm coming." I said, trying to pry myself away from the soft, pillow-like ground.

***

Rainbow Dash was giving me a tour of her house. It had lots of Roman architecture. "...and Here's the bedroom." She opened the door to a room that was much bigger then my bedroom. There were three beds in what seemed like random spots around the room. "I live here alone, so I only have one bedroom. But, I have other pegasi-ponies over sometimes and I don't really want to share a bed with them every time so I had a few put in.

"Cool, I'm fine with that." I said. "Where's your shower though." Throughout the day I had acquired some stank. "I like to clean myself before I go to sleep." I looked at her intensely.

"Meh, I'm fine with my habits." Dash said. "The bathroom is over there. She pointed across the hall with her blue hoof. I walked over and opened the door. The whole bathroom was covered in black tiles. There was a giant rainbow shooting out of her roof, and her bathroom is completely black.

"What's with this now?" I asked her. Scanning the sleek, dark room.

"Why don't you take a step in there" She challenged.

"OK, I'm not scared of showers like yo- HOLY HELL!" As soon as my foot hit the floor of the black bathroom, a wave of color shot out of the place I had stepped. I quickly recalled my foot. A blur of color was in it's place. I turned to Dash. She nodded her head to get me back in there. I then jumped in, colors of every shade shot out in every direction when I touched everything I could possibly manage. "This is better then the clouds..." I said to Dash.

"I know right? Color changing tiles." She revealed. "Kind of a wast of bits though, barley ever use this room."

"How do you not use this room!?" I shouted. "It's so damn beautiful!"

"Well, have fun in the shower, try not to have a heart attack." She mocked as she started to leave.

"Wait." I stopped her. "I don't have any clothes for when I get out."

"Didn't you leave your night stuff out on your dresser?" Dash asked.

"Yea, but I didn't bring it with me!" I said to her.

"It's fine, you know this place now let's go back and get it." She said.

"Alright, let's not make any sound though, last thing we want is Will coming at us." She tapped my shin and we were back in my bedroom. I grabbed my clothes off the dresser. "Well, that was easy."

"Jack is that you?" Will called from downstairs.

"Oh crap, time to go back!" Dash said.

"Get down here ya little bastard!" He shouted.

"No thank you." I said as I touched Rainbow Dash, we were then back at her bathroom. "That went a lot better then I expected it to."

"Yea, well, have a nice shower?" She offered and trotted away.

***

It was indeed a nice shower. It was the most insane shower I had ever had. There was so many colors I thought that I was either going to go blind or have a seizure, I was OK with both. I had a huge smile the entire time I was in there. The tiles changed color according to heat too, the tiles were changing to and from every color on the spectrum. Dash had some weird blueberry scented shampoo. I was dangerously close to seeing if it tasted like blueberries too.

When I was finally finished, I reluctantly got out of the shower and dried myself off with a clean, unused towel. I put on my clothes and left the bathroom, after admiring it for another ten minuets. I went across the hall to Dash's bedroom, she was laying in bed already. She wasn't asleep yet though. "Your finally done?" She asked.

"Seriously, how do you not shower in there?" I questioned her. "It took all my willpower just to leave it!"

"Not big on it." She answered.

"I don't understand that at all. It was glorious."

"Your so weird." She chuckled.

"It's a good thing." I walked in between the two empty beds. "Which one should I take?"

"I couldn't care less." She replied.

I flipped a coin in my head and then dove for the one that was closer to Rainbow Dash. I instantly got myself comfortable under the blanket. "Your house is awesome." I said.

"Yea." She said. "Hey, Jack." She turned her head sideways on the pillow to face me.

"What?" I did the same. It was pretty dark, I could barley see the blush that was creeping onto her face.

"I'v been thinking, what do you think about what they were saying today?" Dash asked me. I could feel what's left of my blood rushing to my face. "Do you think that Jeremy was right?"

***

Let's see a show of hand-     comments.

I really have no idea which way to go from this, romance or no.

Tell me in the comments, YES or NO. I'm on the fence and I really don't care about either way.

Doing it would probably make more things to write about but might have the negative vote. I don't know, you chose.

I'm excited to be done with all the damn explanations and knockouts. Seems like the only two things I'm writing about.

He who lives by the sword, dies by the gun.