Convenient

I was awakened by the pestering buzz of my alarm clock. I was reluctant to open my eyes just yet. Why the HELL is my alarm clock even on! It's Sunday! I don't have to do crap today!

I finally decided to open my eyes to turn off the alarm, but was greeted by a groggy Rainbow Dash. Her blue wings were folded against her body. We both just then realized that our faces were about an inch away from each other. Then we were snapped awake. "Um... Good morning?" I said as we stared into each other eyes with a slight blush on our each of our faces developing.

"Good... morning" Dash replied as we continued our staring contest. The alarm clock still buzzed. "Hey, will that thing ever turn off? It's pretty annoying..."

"Yea, it'll turn off soon." Right when I finished my sentence it was silenced. "See there it is..." I resumed my gaze.

I just laid there in silence, looking into her rose colored eyes. Dash returned with a gaze of her own.

"I feel like... this should be weirder then it is..." She broke the silence.

"I know, i'm feeling pretty good right now for some reason." I said as we just laid there both our heads on the one pillow, A slight crimson tint on Dash and I. "I think the lack of awkwardness is making it weird."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, i haven't even slept in the same room as a girl and now i'm sharing a bed with one. Plus, our faces are really close right now, and I don't feel that weird..." I explained.

"I know what your saying. I'v never slept in the same room as a stallion either. It seems that we should be feeling more then just this..." We thought about it for a while. "I'm comfy right now, I don't feel like moving at all." She said with a smile. "Except for this weird thing poking me right now..." I didn't know what she was talking about.

I then noticed what was poking her. Then my face blushed furiously.

"There's the awkwardness...Also my clue to turn over..." I flipped onto my stomach before she could reach down to remove whatever was jabbing her under the blankets.

"What was that" She asked looking under the blankets.

"N-N-Nothing, don't worry about it." Dash looked at me, raising an eyebrow. I tried to turn my head away to keep her from seeing my blood red face.

"It doesn't sound like nothing...What was it?" Dash demanded.

"Dash, I will answer most your questions about this world, not that one though... Never that one." Dash just gave me a strange look then shrugged and laid back down. That's probably why I shouldn't share my bed...

I then thought about tomorrow, today was Sunday and i'll have to go to school after today. I turned my head back around to Dash, who was in the same position as when she woke up, trying to go back to sleep. "Hey, Dash..."

Her eyes opened again and we were once again looking into each other eyes. "What?"

"Tomorrows Monday..." I said as my voice trailed off.

"So? what about it?" She asked.

"I have school tomorrow..." I declared to Rainbow Dash. Her eyes widened.

"You still go to school? How old are you by the way?" Dash asked.

"I'm Seventeen..." When I finished saying this Dash's eyes narrowed as if she didn't believe me.

"Why are your still in school then? Why don't you have a job?" Dash asked.

"I do have a job, I work at a McDonald's, and it sucks. Also humans stay in school until they're past twenty-five sometimes. It's called college and it's probably why we're a lot more advanced then you ponies are." I replied. "When did you finish your schooling in Equestria?"

"I dropped out when I was a little older then a filly. Why would humans ever need to spend so much time in school, what are you, eggheads?" Dash questioned.

"Have you not realized how smart humans are yet? Do you think that there were actually demons in the house of that movie we watched last night? Have ponies even discovered their other planets in their solar system yet? We're not eggheads either, we're just a lot smarter then ponies. Maybe more violent, but diffidently smarter." I revealed to Dash.

Rainbow Dash just looked at me like I was high. "What are your even talking about right now? What do you mean solar system? There wasn't a demon that killed those poni- ugh people?"

"No! There wasn't an actual demon! No one died! I'd be a a lot more afraid of that movie if I thought it was real!" I told Rainbow Dash.

"NO WAY! I saw them die! The back of his head went between his legs! He's DEAD!" I just laughed as I got out of bed and slid into my office chair in front of my desk. I flipped open my laptop and powered it back on. I then typed in my password and it returned me to my desktop. "OK, come here." I ordered her as i loaded a video.

Dash sat up and stretched her arms and legs. She extended her wings to limber them up too. She then crawled over to the edge of the bed to see the computer screen. "What are you showing me now?"

"Here look at this." I showed her a video that has always been one of my favorites on YouTube: Like A Boss. I was watching the video too, It had just finished the part where he crashed into the sun and the interviewer got up and left. God, I love Lonely Island! I looked over to Dash who was gaping.

"He died crashing into the sun! Why?" I just stared at her with a dead look in my eyes.

"The reason i'm showing you this dumb-ass video is to show you that it's FAKE!" She just gave me a confused expression in return. I sighed. "It's special effects. None of this happened. This guy never chopped off his balls, He didn't die in the sun either. And There was no one actually killed in that movie. None of it is real." I said in a flat tone.

"It's also one of the reasons my family reacted so strongly when you came here. We thought that the show was fake. Apparently not." I gestured to her as she started to nod her head in understanding.

"OK... I'm starting to see what you mean. How do they do it though?" She asked.

I thought about it for a few moments. "I actually have no idea... All i know is that they can do pretty much anything with computers."

"That's... weird..." Dash stated looking at the dumb video.

"ANYWAY! Back to what I was saying." I turned off the video and faced Rainbow Dash. "I have school tomorrow and it takes about eight hours a day."

"What am I going to do?" Dash narrowed her eyes.

"That's my point." I said flatly. "You can't exactly be here alone. A crap load of stuff could go wrong with that."

Rainbow Dash thought about it for a few minuets. "Well... Can't I go with you?"

I contemplated this idea in my mind. "I'm not sure if that would be smart..."

"Why not?" Dash wondered.

"Taking a animated pegasus pony to school... There's many holes in that plan." I remarked.

"Com'on! If they react like your family did, it would be sooo fun!" She begged.

"It would be hilarious to see people freak out..." I started to warm up to the idea. "So you don't want to do the whole cliche secret thing?"

"ugh. Celestia, no. We have a ton of books in Equestria with that plot. I know exactly what your talking about." She muttered.

I made my decision on the school idea.

"Fuck it! You can come with me tomorrow." I said with a grin. I was now exited to see how the people at the school with take this. "Don't mention it to my family though. They would be... less then pleased. I'm hoping that they overlook what you'll be doing tomorrow..."

"YES! This is going to be awesome!" She said triumphantly.

"We also have to get up at seven though." I stated flatly.

"less awesome." Her ears duped.

"I know, it sucks." We then sat in a few moments of silence. Then my stomach voiced it's own opinion on what we should do next.

Rainbow Dash heard my stomach's rumbling and her ears erected instantly. "let's go get some...FOOOOD!" She charged out of my room like a bolt of lighting.

I have no idea how she's not fat... She eats almost as much as me...

I followed her down the stairs to the kitchen. My mother and brother were out of the house for some reason. I checked outside to see if my mother's car was there, it was not. I guess they went to the grocery store. My mother left some breakfast out for us. She found some beef patties and some biscuits on the stove. Dash closed in on them and examined them.

I then thought about how fast she has gotten used to eating meat and killing people for entertainment. "You know, Dash, your pretty easy to desensitize." She looked back at me and blinked a few times.

"What do ya mean?" She stopped and turned around completely.

"Well, you ate meat and didn't seem to have any qualms about it after you eat it... Plus you took the whole fake killing thing surprisingly well too considering where your from..." I acknowledged.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Dash glared at me.

"Last time I checked, Equestria never had meat or killing for amusement!" I said.

"Well, we ate fish, and pigs don't talk in Equestria either. I don't think me eating that would be that horrible." Dash explained.

"I remember in once that a cows talked in that show. Does that mean you wont eat beef?" As I finished saying that the disgusted expression returned.

"Eating things that can't really think is one thing. But I won't eat something that can think or talk in my world." She picked up a beef patty, oblivious to what it was.

I saw that she was about to eat it when I leaped over, almost tripping over the dish washer that someone left out, and slapped it out of her hoof. She just looked at me with a expression that said 'WHY? "That's beef."

"Oh." She backed away from the stove. It looked like someone pulled a gun out on her.

"Yeah... biscuits aren't though!" I walked over and tossed her one. Dash sniffed it and then took a bite.

"pretty good, not amazing though. Humans might have techno stuff over ponies, but our food is way better." Dash casually said as she ate the biscuit.

"What, you ponies have biscuits?" I asked

"Yea, and our apples and stuff like that..." Dash said.

"Meh, I would diffidently rather have cars and T.V.s over a few sweeter apples." I shrugged.

I pulled out some more things that we still had from the rest of the weekend to complete our breakfast. Dash and I ate it in front of the television. I was looking through the channels when we came across My Little Pony. Rainbow Dash grunted looked at me and I replied with a smug grin as set the remote down and ate my breakfast. She just sighed, and resumed her breakfast while viewing her past.

***

Hours later I was upstairs scheming while Rainbow Dash was napping on the couch downstairs while my brother was watching T.V. He glanced over at her every so often, I guess he still wasn't used to her yet. Hell, I still wasn't!

"YO! Rainbow Dash!" I called to her. I shouted loud enough to wake her up.

"What?" She said just barely loud enough for me to hear. I guess she was still waking up.

"I found some cake up here in the bathroom!" I shouted down the hallway.

"Why is there cake in the bathroom?!" She called back.

"Why question it! There's chocolate cake up here!" I could here her getting up and galloping up the stairs. I took my place behind the door. Thankfully she entered quickly so she didn't see me. Right when I saw her whole body I slammed the door so she couldn't escape. There is another door in our bathroom leading to the tub. Rainbow Dash jumped at the sound of the door slamming behind her. "The cake is a lie."

"Jack, what's going on?" She asked with a confused, angry face.

"Your going to shower, that's whats going on." I said with a devious smile.

Dash chuckled at the notion. "Nope! I'm not goi-"

I then tackled her and restrained her wings by picking her up around her torso. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, yes... You are." She tried to resist, her wings were constantly jabbing me in the ribs. I took the flailing pony into the second room of the bathroom. I turned on the warm water to the shower with my foot.

"Let me go!" She shouted as she kept thrashing around trying to escape.

"Dash, you are either going to wash yourself or i'm going to do it for you. I'm going to give you thirty minuets." I explained to her with a grin. Dash still flopped around like a fish in my arms. "Please, do us both a favor and save us both some awkwardness."

"NO! I'm NOT going to do it!" Dash refused to cooperate.

"Let's hope you change your mind in that time!" I threw her in the shower and ran out of the room. As I shut the door I saw Dash about to dive for freedom. "Nope!" I heard a thud hit the door after it shut completely. I sat down in front of the door to make sure that she couldn't open it. I was then facing my brother who was standing in the threshold of the door to the hallway.

"So... Whatcha doin'?" My brother asked in a high pitched tone. We could hear the muffled yells of Rainbow Dash and banging on the door.

"Giving Dash a bath." I said casually.

"I see... and how's that going?" More bangs came from the shower room.

"Surprisingly well." I could hear that she had given up banging and shouting and was now slumped behind the door same as me. "Hey, fagbag, any chance you want to give her a bath in thirty minuets?"

My brother contemplated this for a few moments before replying with a very elegant "NAH" and walked away.

***

"Hey, Rainbow Dash, it's been thirty minuets." I reported through the door. "Have you cleansed yourself of thestank!"

"Nope! And i'm not planning on it! Twilight had magic, but you don't have anything on me!" Dash returned.

"Twilight made you wash yourself?" I asked curiously through the wood.

"Every once in a while. Pretty much what your trying now." She got lost in her memories for a little bit. "But she made me wash with her freaky magic, you don't have anything!" Dash cackled.

"I'm a lineman in Football! Your not getting past me!" I shouted as I got up off the floor.

I opened the door, and the war was on.

***

We both exited the small shower room with blushing, disturbed faces about twenty minuets later. She had a towel around herself and I was soaking wet. "W-Why couldn't you just wash yourself!"

"Because I didn't want to!" Dash maintained. "But that was definitely weird."

"Yea, I know. It was definitely weirder when you started moaning!" I muttered.

Dash blushed intensely. "I-I-I just did that to make you feel more uncomfortable, as punishment for trying to make me do things!"

"Sure, whatever you say..." I said, eyeing her blush suspiciously. "ugh, I have to get up early tomorrow, so Ima' go to bed now. If your coming with me then i  suggest you going to bed too."

"Yea, OK. You woke me up from my nap so i'm still tired anyway." She followed me into my room.

"Well, at least your clean now for tomorrow..." I chuckled.

"Shut up."

**********

This will NEVER turn into a clopfic or anything similar to that. I'v had stuff planned for a while in my head about what's going to happen and it's been taking a long time getting there. So It'll start to pick up faster.