The Adventures of Pinkie Pie, into the World of Legends

Twilight woke up the next morning relatively tired, she felt physically depleted from the night before and it was a difficult task to keep her eyes open.

“How are you feeling Twilight?” Spike asked

“Terrible” Twilight muttered, she headed into her kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee

“Do you think Pinkie Pie is coming back?” Spike asked “I still have soooo many questions about her adventure!”

“Shhhhhh” Twilight murmured, putting a hoof up to her mouth “She might hear you and come back”

Spike began to laugh “O Twilight! That is ridiculous!”

Like the push of a button, there was an excited pony knocking on Twilight’s door.

“I’ll get it!” Spike announced cheerfully, he walked past the library and opened the oak door, only for a pink blur to flash by him and knock him on his bottom, the pink blur shot through the library and headed right towards Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight gave out a aggravated yawn “What do you want Pinkie Pie!?”

“Can you send me back please please please! I won’t bother you for the entire day!” Pinkie Pie pleaded, speaking at one hundred words a minute.

“Please not right now” Twilight said “Please just let me wake up first!”

“Fine, fine, fine” Pinkie Pie said, she jumped onto a nearby chair and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“I want to go back into their world soooooo much! I wonder how Bartolomeo did with the cupcakes!” Pinkie said, partially talking to herself, partially to her disgruntled friend.  Bartolomeo didn’t seem to be the brightest guy on the block, but he sure was resourceful!

“Did I tell you about my song!” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly “Ezio wants me to make it into a theme song for the brotherhood!”

Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure what was worst. Having to be bugged by Pinkie Pie, or having to listen about Pinkie Pie’s odyssey. Twilight Sparkle put down her cup of coffee and waved over to Pinkie Pie

“O hey Pinkie Pie, I want to show you something”  Twilight said, pinkie Pie followed Twilight into a vacant room. There was a desk in the middle of the room and several walls of books flanking the desk. Pushed into one corner was a dinky looking bed.

“Princess Celestia wanted me to give you a ‘real’ work station!” Twilight said “If you want you can use this room to collect data, put pictures, or whatever you want.”

“O cool!” Pinkie Pie said “Mind if I pinkitize it?”

Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie “Pinkitize?”

“Silly you don’t you read the dictionary?” Pinkie Pie asked she ran into the other room and grabbed a dictionary; she flipped the pages until she found the “P” section, and she shoved the book into Twilight’s face.

“See? Pinkitize! The process of turning any object/person/or subject into something resembling Pinkie Pie” Pinkie Pie said

Twilight gave Pinkie Pie a blank expression “Why are you in the dictionary!?”

“I’m not sure!” Pinkie Pie said, throwing the book aside “LETS PINKIE THIS PLACE UP!”

It took only half an hour or so, thanks to the mysterious powers of pinkie Pie. The walls were now a sprightly color of pink and yellow and cyan, the bed had been upgraded and was now a mire of pink pillows. The entire room looked far more…pinkitized.

“Okay can we go back to the human world now!? Please please please Twilight!?” Pinkie Pie begged, getting down on her knees

“Okay Pinkie Pie” Twilight said, she walked into the other room for a split moment and came back with a book, she found the right page and an aura of purple light once again appeared form her horn and it zapped pinkie Pie once again.

Pinkie Pie wasn’t in the binary anymore, she was on a cliff, above she saw a weird looking machine flying above, following it were two even weirder looking machines that were purple and green. The first machine was beginning to smoke and a fire began to start, Pinkie Pie saw two figures standing out of a hatch behind the machine.

“Okay you two” Carter shouted. A fusillade of plasma fire from one of the banshee’s hit one of the wings, causing a small fire to occur. “I’m going to stay in the Pelican, you two go on foot to the target location, m’kay?”

Emile looked at Carter with an aggravated face, so aggravated Carter could see the very face through the opaque visor.

“Can’t you just out run these things?” Emile asked, jamming another grenade round into his grenade launcher

“No gas is expensive nowadays! ”Carter said “Besides we are going to get shot down, they are looking for you two anyways!”

Emile looked over to Noble 6 and nodded “Okay, on 3 bro”

“1”

“2”

“THREE!”

Emile fired one final round from his launcher, destroying one of the banshees before jumping out of the moving helicopter, Noble 6 followed, both knew that their armor was more than capable of protecting themselves  from a little fall.

Emile landed firmly on th ground, rolling once on his knees before getting up, taking his shotgun off his back. Noble 6 landed right next to him, his assault rifle already in hand.

“O hi I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie shouted, she didn’t mean to startle the two soldiers, but it was clear that they were shocked. Pinkie Pie had jumped from around a wall and almost clung to Emile, if Noble 6 hadn’t grabbed Emile Pinkie Pie would have been picking shotgun shell out of her mane!

“What the hell is that!?” Emile asked, his voice devoid of emotion

“I’m a Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie said “Nice to meet you!”

“Dawwwwwwwwwwwww ITS SO CUTE” Emile said, he picked Pinkie Pie up by the tail and hugged her “She’d make a good bullet shield too!”

“Okay you can stop now Emile” Noble 6 said

“Hey do any of you guys know Ezio Auditore de Firenze?” Pinkie Pie asked

Emile and Noble 6 looked at each other with a quizzical expression, even in their silence it was apparent that neither of them knew about him.

“Listen we are kind of in the middle of a secret dangerous operation” Emile said, cocking his shotgun

“Ooooo can I come!?” Pinkie Pie asked

“…but you’re a fluffy pony” Noble 6 said

“But I am a good assassin! Watch Ezio showed me this!” Pinkie Pie said, before she left Ezio had taught her his renowned “Leap of Faith”. Pinkie Pie sprinted towards a nearby cliff and jumped, Ezio had taught her the first rule of his world quote

“No matter what happens, whatever EVER happens, there is a pile of safe hay under every view point jump.”

But when Pinkie Pie looked down there was no hay stack, only a couple blots.

Pinkie Pie ended up landing on the back of some sort of alien though, which was pretty lucky, Pinkie Pie thought she’d get some sort of achievement, she thought she’d even get an achievement for the alien’s face after she landed on its back.

The aliens mouth was a pincer sort of mouth, teeth lined each side of the queer looking head.

“THERE IS A HUMAN ON MY BACK!” the elite said “SHOOT EET!”

“Don’t worry we will help you!” A grunt shouted, he pulled out his trusty plasma pistol and began shooting, sadly guns and mushroom people don’t go together, all three rounds missed Pinkie Pie and hit the Elite, which enraged him.

“YOU ARE TERRIBLE! YOU MAKE THE ROOKIE LOOK LIKE JORGE!” The livid Elite shouted, he brought up his grotesque leg and kicked the one grunt like a football, sending him straight into a canyon wall.

“I’ll help you sir!” a second grunt answered, impaling the elite with his needle gun

“CAN’T YOU IDIOTS DO ANYTHING USEFUL?” The elite shouted, shooting the grunt rapidly with his plasma repeater. Eventually from the blood loss, the Elite dropped down dead.

Pinkie Pie turned around to see Emile clapping

“Nice, Pinkie Pie do you know how to use one of these?” Emile said, he tossed Pinkie Pie a small magnum, Pinkie Pie felt the strange instrument with her two front hooves, acknowledging the smooth metal.

“Be careful, don’t shoot yourself, you might be useful” Emile said

Pinkie Pie wasn’t sure what Emile meant, so she experimented with the pistol. She pulled the trigger and shot a bullet through a nearby destroyed truck, smiling with delight at the ping noise.

“Good, stay with us okay?” Emile said, he was already rushing forward towards a bridge, firing his shotgun from long range with little effect (Except alerting several grunts)Noble 6 followed, spraying his assault rifle through the air, causing critical damage against the weak enemy.

Pinkie Pie galloped behind them, having to carry the pistol in her mouth though while running meant she couldn’t cover Noble 6 or Emile though.

“Holy shit” Emile muttered, he ran into a destroyed building and came out with a rocket launcher

“YEA BUDDY!” Emile said, hoisting the massive weapon on his shoulder

“Are you going to carry that thing?” Noble 6 asked “I can’t”

Emile then looked down at his newly earned loot with a sad despair “Looks like we are going to have to drop it, unless Pinkie Pie can carry it…”

“okay?” Pinkie Pie said

“Cool” Emile said, he tossed the rocket launcher at Pinkie Pie, almost crushing her in an instant. It took both of Pinkie Pie’s hooves to carry the massive weapon and seemed almost impossibly unwieldy in the current situation.  She then noticed two human instruments next to her on the road, both had 4 wheels (Two on each side) and seats for two people.

“Noble 6 you drive, I’ll take the other one, Pinkie Pie you get on my car and shoot at anything you see fit!” Emile shouted, he jumped on his mongoose and Pinkie jumped into the seat behind him. Pinkie Pie had no clue on what would happen when she shot the behemoth of a weapon but she knew it’d be interesting!

For a moment they drove in complete silence and tranquility, then a massive machine dropped from the sky, smaller pods fell from the sky too, Emile swerved off the road, nearly colliding with one of the pods. Noble 6 followed behind him, adeptly dodging the falling pots.

“Pinkie Pie shoots something!” Emile ordered. Pinkie Pie hoisted the rocket launcher over her shoulder and pulled the trigger. If she hadn’t had her seat belt on then she would of gone flying, but fortunately her seat belt kept her on her seat when the rocket fired. A rocket flew through the air and hit one of the scarab’s legs, injuring it.

“Nice shot!” Noble 6 shouted from the intercom on Emile’s helmet.

Pinkie Pie was about to launch her second rocket when she saw a small gelatinous sphere attach to one of the wheels.

“O SHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAATTT!” Emile shouted. There was an explosion; Pinkie Pie used Emile as her shield, fortunately saving her life. Pinkie Pie hit the ground and the world turned black.

Pinkie Pie woke up on the cold ground, the mongoose was totaled completely. Emile ran up to her, she couldn’t hear much only a faint ringing, Noble 6 appeared in her line of sight soon after firing his assault rifle, before coming to assist Emile with dragging Pinkie Pie.

“Into the milk truck!” Emile instructed, Pinkie Pie felt herself being hoisted into the milk truck, she finally came to complete consciousness, her pink mane was no marred with black and brown dirt, the rocket launcher was missing. In the front two sats was Emile and Noble 6 frantically driving the milk truck through hordes of elites and scarabs.

“Noble 1 do you copy?” Emile asked into his intercom

“Noble 1 standing by, what do you need Noble 4?” Carter asked

“Yea, things kind of went FUBAR, we have a pink pony and we are driving through scarabs and elites in a milk truck, we need some support. Over”

“Sorry low on fuel” Carter said tersely

“We had 94% fuel 15 minutes ago” Emile said

“…bye” Carter said, the intercom went dead.

“KEEP DRIVING!” Noble 6 shouted, firing his assault rifle through the open window.

“JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP” Emile shouted

Pinkie Pie had the strange feeling she was flying through air in a milk truck being tailed by vicious aliens and giant space robots. That or she was just really tired, Pinkie Pie felt a sharp impact and the milk truck turned on its side, slamming into a wall.

“YAY THAT WAS FUN!” Pinkie Pie shouted, getting out of the vehicle, they had jumped over a broken bridge! THAT WAS SO AWESOME!”

“We got to keep moving” Emile said “The greatest battle of history is about to happen!”

Emile loaded his shotgun he ran-

Sorry next part is too violent

Enjoy:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbnCiKrAeSw

“THANK BLACK JESUS THAT IS DONE!” Emile shouted, throwing his kukri down onto the ground, Pinkie Pie never knew humans were so violent!

“So I was like ‘duh’ and Rarity was like ‘uh’ and I was like ‘snuh’ and Rarity was like ‘duh AGAIN!” Pinkie Pie said “It was a super funny story”

“Pinkie Pie, please…we ge tit” Noble 6 said, using the nearby health pack to heal himself, even though he just touched it and it randomly vanished and he looked better.

“THERE IT IS THERE IT FUCKING IS!” Emile shouted “WE ARE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS CRAP!”

“Emile take the big gun, me and Pinkie Pie will clear the area” Noble 6 said “Pinkie Pie, remember the plan!”

“Okidokiloki!” Pinkie Pie said with her normal vigor and enthusiasm

Pinkie Pie took a moment to scan the deck, there were several brutes, and several elites and myriad grunts, nothing too hard.

“Let’s do eet!” Noble 6 said

Pinkie Pie followed orders, she ran out onto the deck in full view and sat down, making her best daw face. All of the covenant (As Noble 6 and Emile called them) looked stunned at the fluffly little filly. An elite walked right up to Pinkie Pie.

“YOU SO ADORABLE! I SHALL PUT YOU IN MY SANVICH!” The elite gargled, Noble 6 jumped over Pinkie Pie and blasted the elite with a  round of assault rifle ammo.

“Nice job Pinkie Pie!” Noble 6 shouted

The fight went on and on as such, small throngs of Covenant being baffled in dawness of the adorable little Pinkie Pie, only to get murdered by Noble 6 and his assault rifle.

Sure enough in time there were no more Covenant soldiers, only dead corpses. A pelican flew up to Noble 6 and Pinkie Pie

“Noble 6 get on we got to get out of here!” One soldier shouted

Noble 6 gasped in horror as a Phantom flew overhead, it dropped several Elites by Emile. Pinkie Pie watched, her mouth ajar, as Emile shot down the first Elite only to be impaled on the second ones energy sword. Emile pulled out his kukri and stabbed the Elite in the throat

“I’M GOING TO MAKE GRAPE SODA OUT OF YOUR SOUL!” Emile shouted “FUS DO RAH!”

Emile toppled the elite over, the intercom after a few moments of sullen breathing went dead.

“I better go get the gun” Noble 6 said, he was about to turn and walk away before he turned back and gave Pinkie Pie his dog tags.

“Thanks Pinkie Pie, you gave me true heroism today” Noble 6 said “How can I ever thank you!?”

“Stand over by the helicopter and let me take your picture!” Pinkie Pie said, revealing her camera “SMILE!”

Pinkie Pie got an amazing shot, showing Noble 6 and the other soldiers

“Thanks Noble 6!” Pinkie Pie said

“No, thank you Noble 7” Noble 6 said, Pinkie Pie swore she saw a smile through the opaque visor

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned something about bravery. Sometimes there are certain things you have to do, you might be afraid, but you shouldn’t be! You should be proud of what you are doing, and be proud that you are helping people! I learned about bravery today through my good friend Noble 6!

-Pinkie Pie

P.S. Remember Reach

Pinkie Pie put down the quill and handed it to Spike; he gave a huff and sent the paper on its way.

“You did a great thing Pinkie Pie” Twilight said

“Thanks!” Pinkie Pie said “I didn’t see Ezio but I did see Noble 6! I wonder what he is doing right now!”

Twilight giggled “I wonder”

***

“HELLO!” Noble 6 called out, the entire world seemed like a desolate wasteland, he was standing on a lonely platform, and phantom after phantom was coming near to him, dropping off more and more elites.

“KEYES? EMILE? PINKIE PIE? WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE COMING BACK FOR ME!” Noble 6 shouted out in rage

Noble 6 turned around to see an elite field marshal standing right by him with an energy sword

“Fuck…” Noble 6 cursed

“IT’S RAEP TIME!”

WHOS NEXT!?

YOU DECIDE!