The Adventures of Pinkie Pie, into the World of Legends

“Here you go Twilight” Pinkie said, extending her hoof to reveal  the photo of the group of armed humans.

“I’ll add that to the wall, want to go in again?” Twilight asked, levitating the picture over to a nearby coffee table.

“Okidokiloki!” Pinkie said in her customary good mood.  She waited in excitement as Twilight readied her horn for the laborious spell. In a moment the purple magic appeared in Twilight’s horn and shot out towards Pinkie Pie.

***

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“CREDITS!” Issac said, picking up the 400 credits with glee. The glee died instantly though when he came back to the real world, here he was. The love of his life was dead, monsters were trying to kill him, and he had run out of space Oreos, the day couldn’t get any worse.

He walked into a different room, it was just as congested and  depressing as the last 500 rooms.

“Perfect, more corpses” Issac said sarcastically, looking at the two Earth Gov soldiers laying before him. Both there rigs were gone, but it wasn’t even necessary to check the rig, unless human beings can live without their heads.

“Hello?” Pinkie Pie called out, Issac turned right around. How’d it get there?

“Who are you?” Issac shouted, pulling out his pulse rifle.

“I’m Pinkie Pie silly!” Pinkie Pie said “Whatcha doing?”

Issac hesitated for a moment; she could be working with the unitologists “Stuff”

“Stuff stuff?”

“Yea….stuff stuff” Issac said, how did this thing even come up to him without him noticing?

“Can I come along?” Pinkie asked in good-nature

“….Are you a unitologists?” Issac asked

“……No BUT I’m friends with unicorns!” Pinkie Pie said

“…..okay then…..” Issac said, slowly backing away.

“So can I come with you? My name is Pinkie Pie by the way! What’s yours!?” Pinkie Pie asked again, just as persistent and hopeful as the first time.

“Sorry, you don’t have any armor and you don’t have a rig” Issac said “By the way, it’s Issac Clark”. It confused him, how did she get past the Necromorphs? Why didn’t she have a rig? Did Earth Gov send her as some super weapon of some sort?

“O that’s easy I can just buy some!” Pinkie Pie said, revealing a massive amount of credits “It’s easy finding these things!”

“No not really, I haven’t stomped many lately” Issac confessed, the shortage of credits has caused him a lot of problems, without money Issac could barely even afford ammo for his lowly plasma cutter.  He was down to only a couple mags of plasma and a flashlight.

“Silly goose! Why would you stomp them? It breaks whatever is inside! Just pick the box up and open it!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac Clark had considered it, but he felt stepping on every corpse and green box he found much more efficient. Even if what the pink horse had said was true.

“Now let’s buy some armor!” Pinkie Pie said, running into the room beyond.

“PINKIE PIE SLOW DOWN!” Issac screamed. Issac hated to think what would happen to the unarmed pink horse in the face of the monstrosities of the marker.

But when he turned the corner, he could exhale and drop his plasma cutter to his side. The room was empty and the door was closed, Pinkie Pie was already at the shop. She was almost unrecognizable, most of her body hidden by the machine and its content.

“Oooooooooooo a security suit! Sounds….secure!” Pinkie Pie said. Pinkie Pie purchased the item, and the door opened. Issac had always wondered what his face had looked like the first time he went into the machine, now he had the chance to see Pinkie Pie’s, only it wasn’t  what he expected.

The machine sealed the doorway

For a moment there was complete silent except for the machine working it’s magic. Pinkie Pie came out a second later, the security suit attached to her. On her back was a glowing light blue rig.

“Whoa this is so cool!” Pinkie Pie said “What does this do?”

Pinkie Pie found out about the kinesis. She targeted a nearby crate, she shot out the kinesis beam and it grabbed hold to the crate, suspending it in air.

“Wow I have to show Twilight this!” Pinkie Pie said, playing around with kinesis. She finally got bored and launched it into the wall, causing little bits to fly everywhere.

“Listen Pinkie Pie we got to go, we have a schedule and all” Issac said. He looked out the window towards his target; the Marker.

“COOL! It’s just like we’re on the job.” Pinkie Pie said “What are we anyways? Ninjas? Soldiers? Secret Agents? O my Celestia I know! ROBOTS!”

Issac couldn’t help but smile at Pinkie Pie’s naivety; she didn’t know what was going on.

“Engineers” Issac Clark said “Our mission is to blow that big rock up”

“COOL! You’re so cool! You’re like my pal Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac ignored the urge to ask Pinkie Pie about this “rainbow Dash”, and allowed himself to focus on the mission. He knew how much was at stake. The world was on his shoulders…well his shoulders and his pink companions shoulders.

“Take this Pinkie Pie!” Issac said, he tossed her his pulse rifle. The thing only had a couple clips of ammo and it was obvious she didn’t know how to operate it, but 2 guns were better then 1.

“Relax I brought my own item!” Pinkie Pie said, she ran into a nerby closet and came out with a small cyan cannon.

“…What is that…” Issac stated

“My party cannon!” Pinkie Pie said, she fired off a round. Issac in an instant was sprawled out on the ground, but instead for the expected explosion, only a couple pink streamers and a batch of cupcakes sitting on a wooden tray appeared.

“because we are going to PAR-TAY!” Pinkie Pie shouted

“No Pinkie Pie, we aren’t going to par-tay” Issac said “Now….bring your cannon thing and let’s go.”

Pinkie Pie nodded, she grabbed her cannon and followed the engineer out the door.

“NECROMORPHS!” Issac screamed, instantly two of the monsters charged for him. Issac (His finger always on the trigger) shot down the first one but the second one rushed him. From behind him, Issac heard the party cannon go off, instead of a monster in front of him, there was just a cake.

“Pinkie Pie, did you just turn that Necromorph into cake?” Issac asked in awe

“You know it!” Pinkie Pie said, she walked over to it and ate it in one bite “Mmmmmm DELISH!”

Issac wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be crept out.

With the first room clear Issac could now enter the second room. Inside of it was….o my god….the eye poker of doom.

Lying next to the machine was a dead corpse, it’s eyes gashed out. In blood read “What monster would make a machine that pokes your eyes!”

“Ooooooo can I try can I try?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No!” Issac screamed, and then an enlightening revelation hit him. He knew what Stross was talking about. “ I mean, yea Pinkie Pie you can try!” Issac didn’t want to get Pinkie Pie hurt, but his duty was bigger than him or his pink new friend.

Pinkie Pie jumped right into the machine, she didn’t need any second thoughts about it either. The machine prepared itself for its next victim, Issac cringed when he saw a massive needle pop out of the machine, it’ route right through pinkie Pie’s right eye.

“Oooooooo shiny!” Pinkie Pie said, mesmerized by the stainless steel  harpoon. Slowly, ever so slowly, it descended closer and closer towards Pinkie Pie. All the while she stared at it with a smile on her face. Issac had to wonder if all of her kind were like this, or if she was just happy by nature.

Issac almost felt sick, the harpoon went right into Pinkie Pies eye, the needle scraping against the bone all the while. It laid inside Pinkie Pie’s eye for maybe 3 seconds, before it quickly returned to the machine. A rivulet of crimson red blood fell from pinkie Pie’s punctured eye. She grabbed it and yodeled

“Owiowiowiowiowiowi” Pinkie Pie said, her hoof over the eye “That hurt!”

Issac and Pinkie Pie (Still carrying her party cannon) entered the new room, right in front of them in smeared blood read.

LOL FAG WHY’D YOU POKE YOURSELF IN THE EYE IT WASN’T EVEN IN TE PLOT N00B! LMFAO

Issac felt like face palming himself, things actually did turn out worse.

“Could this get any worse?” Issac asked

Just then a new monster appeared in front of him. It was tall, black, and alien-like.

“Do you have to be kidding me…” Issac said. Looking into the 5 eyes of his new opponent;  Issac didn’t need a hint to know thi thing wanted trouble. Issac pulled out his pulse rifle and unloaded on the monster, sending the limbs of the beast flying. Moments later though, the monster regenerated every single limb, every single cell of its body returned to it.

“Well this is going to suck” Issac said, so much for saving the world and all “Pinkie Pie try and turn that thing into cake!”

Pinkie Pie gave him a salute and fired off at the monster, even the party cannon though was impervious to the monster.

“Looks like we are going to have to get past this thing” Issac said to his Pinkie companion “unless you have a better

idea”

Pinkie Pie thought pensively for a moment “I GOT IT”

“What?” Issac said excitedly

“We need to teach it how to smile! He needs friends!” Pinkie Pie said, noticing the sad expression on the monster.

“….WHAT THE HELL WOULD THAT DO!?” Issac shouted “ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOME SHIT!”

“Fine! Watch this!” Pinkie Pie said

***

The monsters mouth exploded, and then it’s entire body disintegrated.

“SEE SMILING ALWAYS HELPS!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac wasn’t sure what shocked him most. Pinkie Pie singing and dancing, or the Ubermorph exploding and dying after smiling.

“Well….thanks Pinkie Pie. Now I guess we can destroy the marker” Issac said. Somehow, his pink horse companion has proved her worth.

Issac was ready for whatever happened, he was standing right there in front of the marker. He had no clue how to destroy it, all he had was a unquenchable thirst for revenge. That is when he took a javelin to the arm.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY SHINY STONE BIYACH!” Tiedemann shouted, waving a javelin gun. Although most of his face and half of his body was scorched with horrific burns his complete hate for Issac had kept him kicking.

“Dude what the hell!?” Issac screamed, ripping the javelin out of his arm. Before Tiedemann could finish Issac, Issac dodged his next attack and broke his arm. Issac grabbed the javelin gun and decapitated Tiedemann.

“Ewwwwwwwwww” Pinkie Pie said, noticing the massive amount of blood everywhere.

“This day keeps getting worse and worse” Issac said, wounded by the javelin, blood was pouring from the wound and Issac didn’t make it a secret that he was suffering.

“Issac” A womanly voice cooed from behind Issac, he turned around to see the love of his life standing in front of him;  the good old Nicole, no suffering, no pain, no insane zombie alien robot monster mutant government conspiracy going on. Pinkie Pie moved past Issac (Who was almost paralyzed with a mixture of emotion) to see her. She was human yes, with short blonde hair, she was wearing a white jumpsuit.

“It is all finished Issac, except it is time to die” Nicole said, Pinkie Pie looked confused. Humans are strange.

“MAKE US WHOLE OMGWTFBBQOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNO BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH” Nicole screamed, lightning enveloping Pinkie Pie’s line of sight.

Pinkie Pie was now in a different place, almost in the middle of a desert. Around her she was guarded by a greenish mist.

“I trusted you!” Issac said “FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE MARKER!”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa there mister!” Pinkie Pie shouted “That is not how you talk to someone! How do you even know each other!?”

“it is a long story” Issac said

“No it isn’t! You two really need to learn how to communicate better!” Pinkie Pie said

***

Dear Princess Celestia

Went back into the world of humans for the THIRD time! It was so much fun! I learned that even if things are not going your way you shouldn’t give up, and you shouldn’t EVER EVER EVER EVER take it out on the people you love. Issac gave me a little surprise on his way out too.

-Pinkie Pie

P.S. I got poked in the eye with a needle, don’t worry though. I’ll have my right eye back in 24 hours Issac said!

Pinkie Pie handed the note off to Spike who launched it to the Sun Goddess.

“So how does this thing even work?” Rainbow Dash asked, fumbling with the Kinesis.

“Like this!” Pinkie Pie said, using the kinesis to levitate a brownie (Made by herself before) into her mouth.

“Yummy!” Pinkie Pie said licking her lips, sharing a laugh with her two good friends.

WHOS NEXT!?

YOU DECIDE!