You sit at your sofa, with the TV operating as background noise, while you stare at the door intently.

Don't you dare, don't you dare, don't you dare-

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

“Dammit!”

So it begins...

You let autopilot take over as you make your way over to the door and unlock the seventeen differently built-in locks that keep the wooden door shut...

Then the chain lock...

Then the wooden bar placed across the door frame...

And finally the padlock.

Too excessive, you say? Then explain how half the fucking town still manages to get past them!

You open the door to reveal YellowQuiet herself, standing at the door, dressed in a manner of tribal garments with poorly painted black stripes covering her body and small bones tied into her hair. Needless to say, you were a little speechless.

“...the hell?” You simply state, nothing else coming to mind.

“...um...are...uh...Z-Z-Zebras your fetish?” She nervously stammers out, looking up at you with hopeful eyes.

“Yellow...” You say with shocked astonishment, pinching the bridge of your nose in irritation.

“Y-Yes?”

“That's racist.” You reply, then slam the door shut and lock it again. Well, she'll never run out of ideas, that's for sure.

“Yee-Haw!” You look out your kitchen window as your other primary tormentor swings Tarzan style towards it.

This should be good.

You watch as she swings towards the window with determination. You smirk, knowing what's coming next as her entire body smashes, full momentum, into the reinforced glass you had put in place a few weeks ago. She flops to the floor with a pained groan. But she'll be fine. That was like the fourth time that's happened...this week.

*Knock**Knock*

Round two...*sigh*

You let your shoulder slump as you go over and open the door and your eyes widen in shock. YellowQuiet stands there, a white sheet over her body giving her striking resemblance to a member of the Ku Klux Klan...

When did she even...

“...is...uh...Racism...your fetish?”

*Slam* NopeNopeNopeNopeNope.

You take a seat on your couch and flip on the TV, not bothering to change the channel to something good as you just watch 'The Power Ponies'. But not five minutes after you sit down...

*Knock**Knock**Knock*

“Motherfucker!” you shout, marching your way over to the door. “Yellow! I swear to God if that's you, I'm gonna – Oh hey bro...and Purple...”

Nope, it was not the butter Yellow pegasus who never left you alone, but Rainbow and Twilight.

“Uh...come in?” You meekly gesture to the interior of your home as they make their way inside. “So what brings you two here?” You ask, confused as you lock the door behind you. They don't get an opportunity to answer before...

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*

Ugh...

“Twilight? Could you get that please?” You ask, cupping your face in your palms.

“But you're closer to the –”

“JUST...could you get it, please?”

With a quick glance around, she shrugs as she walks past you and opens the door with her magic. Seconds later she is tackled to the floor by the orange farmer.

“AH HA! Ah finally got ya, ya slippery monkey...ugh...h-h-hi Twilight...” She nervously stutters, looking at the peeved mare below her.

“Over here numbnuts.” You quip, earning the farmer's attention.

“Heh heh...sorry Twilight.”She nervously steps off of the irritated unicorn and slowly trots out of the house, through the door and closing it behind her, maintaining awkward eye contact with the three of you the entire time. Twilight graciously closes all of the locks for you as Rainbow laughs hysterically at the situation. As they move over to the couch, you groan out loud, rubbing your temples in circular motions.

“You okay big guy?” Your Bro asks, taking a break from her laughing fit. You shrug it off and make your way to the kitchen.

“Yeah I'm fine. Just irritated I guess.” You sigh as you fetch a glass of orange juice, not only because you like orange juice, but also because you wanted to spite Applejack. “You guys want anything?”

“No thank you.” Twilight replies, levitating a small notepad and quill out of nowhere. Rainbow just shakes her head and flips on the TV.

“So Anon, you wanna hang out this weekend?” Rainbow asks, looking to you hopefully. You shrug and take your seat in between the two mares.

“Sure. I heard the new Daring Do movie's coming out, that should be interesting.” Rainbow does a subtle hoof pump after you turn towards Twilight.

“So Purple, I'm assuming you want to do your check-up just now?” You ask, gesturing to the quill and notepad, being levitated by her side. She gives you a proud smile and nods. Just like every week.

“So, how has the past week been for you Anonymous?” She asks, preparing to scribble down your answer.

“Straight to business I see. Uh...Well, it's been okay, I guess. Fluttershy and Applejack are still trying to break into my house; they only succeeded once this time, so there's that...uh, work has been pretty dry, nobody needed a handyman last week...and...I believe that's all I have to say about the past week...not much. I know.” You drone out as Twilight copies out what you said with intensity.

“...Alright, so just one more –”

*Knock**Knock**Knock*

“Go away Yellow...!” You call to the front door, a small 'eep', being your only response. Your bro looks up to you in astonishment.

“How did you know that was her?” She asks. You let out a tired sigh.

“It's always her... Or Applejack, but she has a much more aggressive knock.” You say, leaning back into the chair.

“I don't understand why you don't just get a special somepony...” Twilight says with a small blush and a hopeful smile. “...I'm sure
everypony would leave you alone if they knew you were taken.” Rainbow also gives you a hopeful simile, but it shatters when you let out a skeptical laugh at the comment.

“Yeah, you're probably right, but I also believe that after the initial rejection, the person should fuck off somewhere else...not keep pestering me and driving me to the point of homicidal thoughts. Besides, I find it difficult to be attracted to a pony when they're all freaking insane.”

You take a glance at Rainbow and notice that she has a more...dejected look about her.

“You alright there bro?” You ask, patting the back of her mane the way she likes it. However, instead of leaning into it, like she usually does, she just moves away from your hand.

Strange...

“...Yeah, I'm fine.” She says with very little energy. “...Uh, I'm just going to go. I think I need to go home to...uh, feed Tank.” And with that, she gets up from her seat and leaves through the front door with heavy hooves.

Her attitude leaves you confused and a little worried. “What was that about?” You ask, looking to Twilight. She gives you a deadpan look, before waving her hoof in dismissal.

“It probably doesn't matter...uh...is this whole thing with Applejack and Fluttershy really bothering you?”

*Thump**Thump**Thump*

You didn't reply, you just fall forward and attempt to grind out your eyeballs with your palms; you let out a pained groan as the sound at the door continues.

*Thump**Thump**Thump*

“Uh, could you leave us alone please!?” Twilight calls and suddenly the noise stops, followed shortly by the sound of retreating hoofsteps. She gently rubs her hoof on your back while you just sit there.

“Anon...are you okay?”

You lift your head up as you look to your purple companion. You think for a moment before sighing painfully as you prepare to answer her.

“...No. No I'm not.” Her expression doesn't change as you lean back again and relax against the backrest.

“I don't know how long I can take this Twilight...” You admit. She tenses up a bit as you use her actual name. “..Everyday. They're always here. I can barely go outside, I can't even take a shower when it's daylight and even then I have to watch the curtains, which is creepy as hell! In fact, I have to go into the Carousel Boutique and get groped by Rarity, JUST to get underwear because Fluttershy stole all of the others!”

Twilight 's expression turns more sympathetic as she rubs your shoulder reassuringly. You make serious eye contact as you finish your rant. “Look, I'm flattered, I really am, but I shouldn't have to say no so many times and still not get the message across. I'm fucking sick of this.”

*Knock**Knock**Knock*

You feel you anger boil over as you act without thought, grabbing the glass of orange juice and hurling it at the door frame; it shatters on impact, causing a frightened yelp as the pony behind the door rushes off in fear. Twilight looks to you with concern, as you huff visibly from your small outburst, before walking over to the door and levitating the broken shards into the dustbin.

“I'm sorry.”

She just shakes her head in understanding as she continues to clean up your mess.

“It's okay Anon. it's fine.”

“No, it's not. I'm not even sure if that was someone trying to bother me, or the mailmare.” You say rubbing your forehead to try and alleviate some of the stress. Twilight alternates between looking at you and looking at your door, thinking on the best course of action for the situation.

She lets out a sigh of resignation before looking to you thoughtfully. “I'll have a word with the girls and I'll see what I can do...”

“You would?” You ask in bewilderment. Twilight just nods happily.

“Come by around noon and I'll tell you how it went.” She says as she opens the door. You didn't have much time to say anything before the door closes and you were left alone.

“You left your notes!” You shout. The door opens and the purple mare's head pops back in, grabbing the notepad and quill in her magic and levitating it towards her.

“Whoops heh heh.” She chuckles embarrassingly. Now was your chance.

“Eh, thanks for this Twilight.” You say nervously, making her smile.

“No problem at all, Anon. Anything for a...friend.” She says as she closes the door for the last time.

...Now what?

You guess you could go out into Ponyville. It is getting later in the morning and your tormentors should probably be taking a break about now.

I really do need to get new boxers from Rarity.

Just the thought of it makes you shudder with dread. Every time you go in there, she makes up some reason for you to get undressed. She would then proceed to sneak her hoof around your body to...well, we all get the idea.

She's not even subtle. Sure, you believed it was a slip of the hoof the first time she did it. The first time. She does it so often now that you've started referring to her as Rariperve. She was less than thrilled. But you guess you have to go there sooner or later. At least she shuts the blinds...so there's that.

So with that, you grab your coat and head for the door, only to find YellowQuiet on the doormat, her hoof held out pre-knock before you opened it. You glare down at the yellow pegasus, who is still wearing the white sheet over her head, only now she has placed a flaming cross on your front yard. You continue to glare down at the mare as she struggles to find her words under your pissed-off stare.

“Y-Y-You didn't say racism wasn't your fetish.” She stutters out, looking up at you with a strange mix of fear and hope.

“It was heavily implied.” You say through gritted teeth. Fluttershy just shrinks back, avoiding eye contact.

“...A-are...uh...horrible, horrible mistakes y-your fetish?” She asks with fear in her eyes. You merely sigh and stare to the burning cross.

“Listen up, Yellow: put out that fire; take the cross down; take off that costume; go home; and shove a twelve inch cactus up your ass.” You say, slightly cheered up by your statement. The mare nods and starts to tidy up her things as quickly as possible.

“That's a 'no' by the way.” You shout as you walk off. You didn't want her getting the wrong idea.

The bell rings out as you step through the front door of Rarity's shop.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique.” Rariperve says as she comes into her main work floor. “OH Anon! It's good to see you. How have you been, darling?” She starts to drag you across the floor to one of the podiums, fussing over your every article of clothing.

“Uh, fine. I was wondering if you could make me some new boxers...A certain pegasus has stolen them all.” Rarity's eyes go wide as she fetches her measuring tape.

“Why of course! If you'd just like to remove your clothing and I'll get your...measurements.” And just like that, you want out. She drew out the word measurements in an almost sultry way and that makes you extremely uncomfortable.

“That's fine, I got a pair of the old ones right here.” You say, pulling out the underwear from your pocket. Rariperve is clearly not amused as she stares at the fabric in your hand. She however softens her complexion and levitates the boxers over to her working desk, out of sight.

“Nonsense, darling. You need to have new measurements every time you get new clothes.” She lectures, drawing the measuring tape across your waist, making sure to put a lot of focus on a particular region.

“Look...I –”

“Anon, stop being such a child and remove your clothing!” She shouts, taking the measuring tape away and trying to remove your jeans with her magic.

“I don't think this is about quality anymore.” You say, keeping your hands firmly grasped on the waistline. Rariperve looks up at you with a horrified expression.

“How dare you! I assure you that everything that I am instructing is based on the quality of the product. I pride myself in the quality of my work.” She says, puffing her chest out happily. You give her a level stare.

“I'm not taking my clothes off.” You say sternly.

“Well there's no way I'll be able to make your new clothes without your measurements. I suppose you'll be able to make due without.” She says, looking to your smugly as she knew she had you there.

Those boxers you gave her were your last pair; you're going commando right now. She has you by the balls here, no pun intended. There's another pony that makes clothes in town and you need these boxers. So with great hesitation, you nod your compliance.

Rariperve grins at her victory as she watches you pull your trousers to the floor.

Your face heats up as you catch her ogling you.

“Eyes up here.” You say irritably.

“I'm not looking for your eyes.” She replies, a steady blush forming across her face.
For fuck sake. She can never be subtle.

“Rarity I swear to god, if you touch my dick one more time, I'm gonna shove my fist so far up your ass I'll be able to rearrange your teeth!” You shout, slapping the offending hoof away from your man zone.

Far from your intended response, Rariperve just moans in thought, dragging a hoof down your bare legs.

“Darling, I have to get precise measurements to ensure a snug fitting garment. I would -”

“Thirteen times.” You say through clenched teeth. “I don't think they're gonna get more precise.” Rariperve avoids your glare as she moves over to the table to draw up her designs, deciding to play it safe and stop there.

“Yes, I am done now. Come back later and they'll be ready.” She says with a smug grin as she sneaks off into one of her other rooms, one of her hooves snaking down her body to rest on her –

Ew, gross! Fucking Rariperve.

You close the door as quickly as you can, letting out a sigh of relief that you got out of there in time.

Rariperve had very quickly forgot what she was meant to be doing and immediately began to fondle herself behind the door frame. You tried to ignore it, but when she started moaning and making eye contact, well, lets just say you got the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. Even if your balls are rubbing against your jeans.

You begin to quickly walk towards town. Maybe you'll stop by Sugarcube Corner, or hang out with your bro. Maybe you should go see Twilight and see how her promise is going...no it's only been a few hours.

She can't have done much by-

“Howdy there, sugarcube.” You tense up as you can feel the hot breath of the farm mare on the back of your neck. It's okay, it's okay. She can't harm you in a public place...you think.

“H-Hey Applejack.” You say nervously. You keep moving, trying to find an escape route.

“So how are ya doing?” She whispers, sounding oddly more sensual than before. You just need to ignore her and remain in public view.

“I-I'm fine! Absolutely...how about you?”

“Oh ah'm fine, ah just needed to speak to you for a few moments.” You arch your eyebrow curiously.

“Oh? What ab-OOF!”

Before you could finish your sentence, she has shoved you into one of the alleyways to the side and is currently resting on top of you. Given her superior strength and positioning, you have no chance of getting the mare off of you.

“Oh, nothing, just stuff.” She continues to whisper. God, is she trying to avoid the cops or something?...Actually given the current situation, you wouldn't be surprised. She leans her head down, so your noses are touching. “Ya know...sexy stuff.” She said with her normal voice, steeling a quick lick of your cheek before retreating a little and fetching her rope from her saddlebag.

“Applejack, I don't want this.” You plead,knowing that it is futile to even try to reason with the lust-crazed mare.

“Do ya think ya have a choice?” ...and you're back to whispering.

She displays the rope to you. “Hands.” She instructs as you just furrow your brows in confusion.

“Do you honestly believe that I'm just going to give you my –”

“HANDS! NOW!” She shouts, baring her teeth angrily.

“I don't think this term could be any more relevant than it would be just now, but go fuck yourself!” You shout right back at her.

“Anon, if ya don't give me what ah'm asking for, then ah'll just have to knock ya out and bring ya back to ma-”

“APPLEJACK!”

You both freeze as the deep and masculine sound of the red stallion reverberates throughout the alleyway. Applejack's eyes shrink to the size of pinpricks as she turns to look at her brother. She jumps off of your body with break-neck speed.

“H-Howdy there Big mac...uh...we were just playin' around...everything's fine...” She says, forcing the most unconvincing smile you have
ever seen. Her forehead is also sweating out a river and she tries to look as innocent as possible.

And in doing so, she manages to make herself look like the guiltiest mare in the world.

Big Macintosh just sighs heavily and plants his hoof on his forehead, gesturing with the other hoof for her to leave.

Applejack takes a moment to consider her options, before huffing irritably out of the alleyway. You could have sworn you heard her say something along the lines of 'cock blocker' under her breath, but you really couldn't care less. You were saved.

“Ah'm sorry about her.” Big Mac says, helping you to your feet. “Ah just don't know what's gotten into her.”

“You and me both.” You reply, dusting yourself off and straightening out your shirt.

Then an awkward silence sets in as you both stand there quietly.

You decide to break it quickly, before it gets worse. “Eh, thanks for...eh, that.” You nervously say, rubbing the back of your neck.
Big Mac just nods and turns to leave, seeing his opportunity.

“That's no problem pardner. Ah'd suggest keeping a better eye out in the future.”

“Will do.”

“Eeyup.”

Okay, now you need to get something to drink...but it's too early for anything good.

Screw it. To Sugarcube Corner.

*ding-a-ling*

The door chimes as you enter. Nobody is inside. All of the tables are unoccupied, the counter is unmanned and there is a deathly silence, ringing out through the store.

This could only mean one thing.

“HI NONNIE!” Pinkie shouts, tackling you from behind.

Now, normally you would be panicky if a pony full body tackled you to the floor – just ask Applejack – but Pinkie was different. She was quite possibly the only pony you know who wouldn't do anything to jeopardize a friendship...even if she likes you. She just wants to get a hug...and you weren't going to deny her that.

So without hesitation, you swivel around and wrap your arms around the puffy pink pony. She lets out a squeak and a snort, before giggling in return.

“Hiya pinks. Wow's it going?”

She stands to her hooves again and bounces in place.

“Oh I'm great! First I got to do the morning shift - WhichIsTheBestShift! - Then, I got to make my favorite kind of cupcakes! – BananaSugarnutSquash! - And then I got so many customers earlier, but they all left - BecauseOfSomeKindOfCrossBurningThingAtFluttershy's - And then my three favorite little fillies came in over there!”

She points to one of the stalls where in fact there was the Cutie Mark Crusaders, drawing up plans of some form.

“...And then, you came in! My favorite human!” She shouts, dragging you into another hug. You chuckle inwardly as you didn't understand a word she just said.

“So I was wondering if I could-”

“Get something to drink!? Of course!” She shouts, before returning with a milkshake and a muffin. “Strawberry milkshake and Banana Butternut Squash cupcake!” She shouts as she drags you over to the table with the three fillies and sits you down, not spilling a drop of
your milkshake while she shoves the tray down in front of you.

“Here you go!” She shouts happily.

“Hi Anon!” The three fillies say in unison.

“Hey girls. Watcha working on?” You ask, pointing towards the colorful sheet of paper on the table.

“We're gonna get our Cutie Marks in trap building!” Sweetie Belle declares. You had to hold your heart for that one. Fuck these fillies are cute.

You inspect the drawing, noticing that the trap is just a pitfall with a piece of meat over the top, the hole covered in leaves and sticks. “So what are you planning on trapping?”

“We don't know, but Fluttershy said that we need to build something like this?” Apple Bloom says, glancing over the plans with confusion.
Fluttershy? You don't like the sound of this. “Where are you planning on building this?”

“She said that the best animals are just outside of yer house, which is mighty strange because you live in the middle of town.” She says, bringing a hoof to her chin in thought.

You internally groan. Well, you can't say that little YellowQuiet isn't resourceful.

“I don't think you'll get your Cutie Marks this way.” You say with a little uncertainty, the fillies all looking up to you curiously. “I personally think that you should give a hand at...at...uh...” You frantically search the place for an idea, not finding anything until you look at the glass in front of you...

“Milkshakes!” You shout, raising the glass in front of you. Pinkie pops besides you out of nowhere curiously.

“We already tried making food...didn't go well.” Scootaloo informs you, resting her head in her hoof.

“Not making...testing.” You say halfheartedly. To be honest, you didn't care what they did so long as they didn't try to trap you in a cage. Their eyes lit up at the prospect of free milkshakes as they chant their name and what they plan on doing. Pinkie however, pulls you by the shoulder around the corner.

“Are you crazy?!” She silently shouts, trying to keep her volume low. “I can't just give away free milkshakes. Mr Cake said he'd fire me after the last time!”

You hold up your hand and take a sip of the milkshake that was dragged along with you. “Relax Pinkie, I'll pay for it.” You say with some measure of calm. It's a small price to pay to avoid being treated like a sex slave.

Pinkie looks to you with confusion. “You'd pay for these fillies to have all the milkshakes they want?” She asks, you shrug. “Wow, Nonnie. That's really sweet.” She whispers as tears start to form in her eyes.

You back away a bit, a little confused by her reaction. “Pinkie, I doubt it's that great. I'm just doing it to avoid Fluttershy.”

She lets out a dreamy sigh. “...Oh, and modest too. Oh come on then.” She says, pushing you back into the stall with the fillies and leaving to go get some milkshakes.

“Okay, girls...” Pinkie announces. “...Anon's going to let you drink all the milkshakes you want! Just ask and I'll get em.” She declares with determination. You're beginning to regret this decision.

”CutieMarkCrusadersMilkshakeTestersYAY!”

Really starting to regret this.

“Owww...” Sweetie Belle groans, clutching her stomach in pain. “Too much cinnamon crunch.”

This was a really bad, bad, bad idea.

“ComeOnComeOnComeOn What's next? Chocolate Chip Fruity cream? Or Super Pinkie Pinkieness? ComeOn!”

“Apple Bloom?...Did it work?” Scootaloo asks, rolling over to show Apple Bloom her flank.

“No...how 'bout me?”

“No.”

Bad, bad, bad idea... at least you won't have to deal with Fluttershy when you get home. Speaking of which, you should probably go visit Twilight at some point.

“...I think I got to go.”

Pinkie immediately snaps out of her obsessed state to give you those adorable puppy dog eyes. “B-But we were having so much fun...” She whines out.

“I know, but I've kind of got to go see Twilight at some point...so...yeah...”

You awkwardly stand up and slowly back away towards the door.

“B-But you didn't give me a goodbye cuddle!” She pouts, stomping her hoof on the floor.

“Fine.” you say holding out your arms to accept your 'demise'.

She joyfully jumps into your arms and nestles herself into the crook of your neck.

She squeezes lightly, holding in place for a few moments as your face is enveloped into her pink poofy mane. You can tell she likes you, but she doesn't seem as... feral as the others. So, you return the hug for a moment, but things start getting too much as she doesn't seem to be showing any signs of letting go.

“Uh...Pinkie?”

“What?”

“You can...uh...let go now.” She practically jumps from your form.

“Whoops! Sorry...” She says awkwardly. You turn to leave, but Pinkie has other ideas.

“You didn't say goodbye to the fillies!” She shouts, before you reach the door.

Deciding not to stretch this out longer than it needed to be, you just call out to them.

“Goodbye girls.”

“Grandma?! Is that you?!” shouts Sweetie Belle.

A really bad idea.

*knock**knock**knock*
The door to the library opens as Spike pops his head out.

“Hiya Spike. Is Twilight home?” You ask, trying to peek past him.

“Yeah, she's inside.” He announces, moving to the side to let you pass.

You spot Twilight sitting at one of her desks, reading a rather large tome - probably on magic - but you weren't really that bothered about it. Her eyes light up when she sees you enter, quickly finding a bookmark for her page.

“Hi Anon. What brings you here?”

“I just came to say hi.” You lie, taking a seat across from her. She smiles from ear to ear when you say that and tries to organize her appearance.

“Oh, good! I was hoping to speak to you soon anyway.”

This should be promising.

“Oh?”

“Yes, I spoke to a lot of mares today, Fluttershy and Applejack included...and they don't seem to believe me...They seem to believe that
I'm just trying to trick them so I can...uh...have you to myself...” She finishes with a nervous chuckle, avoiding eye contact.

Your eyes sink to the ground as you let out a sigh of regret. Guess it was too much for you to hope for. She seems to notice your depressed expression and quickly tries to revive your mood with a hoof under your chin.

“BUT, I managed to convince them to go out with us tonight...just the seven of us...and I have a plan to get everyone to leave you alone.”
And now you're interested.

“Really?” You as with a cocked eyebrow, her hoof still under your chin.

“Yes...well it would just be you, me, Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack and Fluttershy. Once you make your point and I tell them my plan, everypony will spread the word that you're not to be harassed. And eventually everyone will know.” She finishes with an awkward smile.

“I don't know...” You say hesitantly. “Where would we go?”

“I was thinking just the local bar downtown.” she says without missing a beat.

“You? At a bar? I don't think this was your idea.” You say, punctuating your point with a small jab to her chest.

“You may think that, but I think with the sensitivity of the subject matter, we're going to need a relaxing atmosphere so this doesn't escalate.”

Oh, okay-wait what?

“Escalate? How bad do you think it could get?” You really don't want to be forced to hang around these mares if they're likely to explode on you.

Twilight quickly shakes her head in protest.

“Nononono, I don't think anything bad will happen, just... a precaution.” You arch an eyebrow as she shifts her gaze awkwardly.

“What are you planning anyway?” She smiles deviously, making you a little curious.

She lifts a hoof up to her lips and imitates a zipping motion. “Ah Ah Ah, It's surprise.”

You should question this, you really should... oh fuck it. You're too caught up in the idea that you're close to stopping all of this madness.

“Fine, but if I get raped, it's on your head.” You say, standing up and going to the front door.

“Wait, didn't you come to see me?” She asks sadly.

“Yeah, but now I got to go prepare.” You say, closing the door.

Well, into the frying pan and into the fire.

And with that you proceed to make your way home.

“Hey Bro.”

You flinch a little at the sudden appearance of Rainbow Dash, flying above you.

“Hey.” You reply, continuing to walk.

“You coming to the gym? I was thinking about working on my forelegs today.” She punctuates this by flexing one of her fore-legs to reveal the strong muscles beneath her fur. You've been going along to these gym sessions since the two of you started hanging out. In fact, these gym sessions your bro insists on you coming along on have probably been the reason why Applejack and Fluttershy haven't gotten to you yet. Too bad you've got shit to do today.

“Sorry, not today, I have to get ready for tonight.” You wave her off. Rainbow flies down so that she's floating on her back, eye to eye with you.

“Oh yeah, that's right. Twilight's crazy plan to get everypony to leave you alone. You going?”

What kind of question is that? “Kind of have to don't I?”

Rainbow just nods he head in agreement. “So what you gonna do until then?”

“I suppose I'll grab my new clothes from Rarity and then I'll take a nap or something.”

Rainbow just looks down as she works up the courage to ask you...

“...so...uh, do you want to hang out?...like, at your place?” She asks hopefully. You shrug as you approach Carrousel Boutique.

“Sure. I could use the company.”

You find the door to be locked and a small package addressed to you on the front step. A small note reading:

Dear Anonymous,

I hope that these garments are to your liking. I put my heart and soul into making them just for you.

Do not worry about payment. All of my wares are free of charge for all of my close friends.

I look forward to seeing you tonight.

Rarity

Fuck, even when she's just writing, she creeps you out. You wouldn't mind so much if the "garments" she made, weren't designed to be touching your nads.

"What's it say?” Rainbow asks, prodding your arm to get a look.

You remove the note and scrap it, shoving it into your pocket. “Nothing worth mentioning.”

And so, you begin the walk home with your trusty Bro, as you move into early afternoon. “...so, Anon.”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if...you know, you wanted to be...” She quiets down into nonsensical mumbling.

“What was that?”

“I was wondering f you wanted to be...” She sighs in defeat. “...back home or here in Equestria?” Rainbow Dash mentally scolds herself for wussing out at the last second. You however completely miss that and answer her question without any sensitivity whatsoever.

“Back home. Without a doubt.” you say happily. “I mean, don't get me wrong. Here's great, but I'm always having to look over my shoulder for anyone who wants to try something. So I'd just love to go home personally.”

You didn't even look over to see Rainbow's tearful expression, her heart wrenching at the thought of you hating it here.

“I-Is there nothing that...you like about here?” Here croaking voice causes you to look over in concern, but she is looking too much away for you to see her.

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Noticing her expression, you realise that you should probably not insult her place of birth so quickly.

“Well, yeah. Of course this place has some redeeming features...I mean, there's the fact that there's little to no wars here, and the whole acceptance thing was pretty cool.”

“W-What about ponies?” She asks, still not looking at you.

“Well of course they're okay, I can't imagine hating them. I just don't see me ever having romantic attractions towards someone of a different species. It's just taboo where I come from and it seems pretty hard wired.”

Rainbow doesn't seem to be getting any better. She just keeps sniffling.

“Rainbow, are you sure you're okay?”

“I have to go!” She shouts, looking at her foreleg quickly before flying away at high speeds.

She is all over the place today. Didn't she want to hang out with me ten minutes ago?

Nevertheless, you're almost home and you can see the yellow demon now...and she's walking rather funny.

“Hi Fluttershy.” You call, walking past her, looking around for some form of prop that she'd be using today...but nothing, just herself. Not even a costume?

“H-Hi AAHnon.” ...okay.

“Are you okay?”

“J-just f-fine.”

“What's wrong?”

“I-If you're fine with it. T-Then I'm fine with it.” What?

“What are you talking about?” She shuffles in her hooves a bit; her back arched in the air clearly showing discomfort.

“What did you do?” She looks you in the eyes with a half lidded smile as she shakes her rump in an attempt at seduction, but just ends up whimpering in pain.

“Your fetish...”

My fetish? What fetish? What is she talk- oh no.

“Fluttershy, tell me you didn't.” She smiles sweetly as she tries to lean in for a kiss.

“You told me to...”

“I didn't think you'd take it literally.” You start to rub your temples to alleviate yet another headache coming on.

“I-I have to admit, it was difficult finding one that was exactly the length, but I did it...f-for you.”

You let out a groan of frustration. “Fluttershy, I really shouldn't have to tell you this, but a...that...um...! Anyway, it's not my fetish. In fact, I think you need to go to the hospital...like, now.”

You make you way past her, only to see her squeak in pain as she tries to move her hind legs again. “Um...is carrying mares to the hospital your fetish?” You glance down to see her looking up at you with pleading eyes.

You are so fucking done.

“No, but I guess I have to.” You grumble through clenched teeth. You slowly roll her onto your arms and start your gentle walk to the hospital. “How did you even get here in the first place?”

Fluttershy merely blushes and snuggles into your chest. “You're a great motivation, Anon.” She whispers as she closes her eyes to sleep.
Fuck, you hate ponies.

That Night

You are sitting quietly in the corner booth of at this dimly lit bar. Twilight is sitting besides you, holding a little scroll.

“So they all agreed to show?” You ask, Twilight nodding in return.

“Yes, they all agreed to come to hear you out. They should be here soon.”

“What if they don't listen to me?”

“They don't need to listen. You just need to tell them so they know that I'm serious.”

“This plan of yours, it doesn't involve me getting tied up does it?” Twilight just laughs and shakes her head.

“Nope.”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?”

“Nope.”

Before you could question further, the first arrival appeared.

Fluttershy nervously scuffs her way in, clearly distressed at the location, but she take a seat the seat next to yours and scoots herself closer to you, having to compensate a little to sit comfortingly.

“H-Hi.”

“Hey Flutters. How are you feeling?”

“F-Fine. A little itchy though.” She squirms a little in her seat. “T-Thank you for helping m-me...” She places a hoof over your hand, but
promptly takes it away when she notices your glare.

“You try anything yellow, and I'm shouting out changeling.” She nods her understanding and leans into her chair.

You down your drink as fast as you can. This is going to be a long evening.

Soon after, the rest of the group arrive. Most of them strutting in confidently - Applejack giving Fluttershy a harsh glare for sitting next to you – but Rainbow Dash just trudges in sadly, taking the last available seat opposite you.

“Hello girls.” Twilight announces, a serious tone lacing her words. “I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here...”

Applejack raises her hoof to get the others attention. “Ah thought we were just comin' here for a little get together.”

“Unfortunately, no. We're here for a meeting about an important issue.” Everyone present raises their eyebrows in question.

Twilight turns to you. “Anon?”

“What?”

“Don't you want to tell them about your feelings?” At the sheer mention of feelings, everyone present grows a mixture of emotions. Some of hope, some of jealousy and some of complete hurt and others of panic, looking to you for answers to their questions.

“UH...” You start, but find the situation too awkward to speak. Twilight rolls her eyes and speaks for you.

“He wants ponies to stop hitting on him.” She states simply. She is immediately met with shouts of denial.

“Horse apples!”

“I-I don't think that's true.”

“You just want him to yourself don't you?!” Rarity finishes, slamming both of her hooves onto the table. Deciding to fix thing before they get out of hand, you speak up.

“It's true.” Everyone present stops suddenly, looking to you in shock.

“What? It's not the first time I've told you I'm not interested.” You say, baffled by their reactions.

Everyone continues to look on in confusion, processing this new information. Fluttershy is the first to speak.

“I-I thought you were just playing hard to get...” You narrow your eyes in irritation before replying.

“I'm one hundred percent confident that telling you to fuck off, is not playing hard to get.”

“But that was the point of us flirting with you darling, we wanted to gain your attraction.” Rarity chips in, staring at you hopefully.

“Yes, fair enough, but if I've already stated my lack of interest, you should pay me the courtesy of giving up.”

“But what if we feel we could get you to like us?!” She continues to argue.

“Yeah, I hate to sound harsh, but seeing as you're not human, you're not gonna get very far.” And at that moment, all of the ears present
folded to their respective heads.

Great, now I feel like an ass.

“Look, it's not that I'm not flattered, I really am, but where I come from, you don't fuc—uh...have relationships with ponies...it's just wrong.”

Applejack looks to you with tears brimming in her eyes. “B-But we're sentient.” She pleads, but your level stare stays put.

“True, but all those years of hard wiring are hard to undo.”

There is suddenly a harsh silence at the table. You try not to feel bad, but the scene in front of you makes that hard to do.

You shouldn't feel bad. You shouldn't have even had to do that.

“No.”

...What?

You look to the yellow mare beside you. “Excuse me?”

“I'm not giving up! I don't want to!” She shouts, flying out of her seat and landing straight in front of you, on the table, forgetting her erlier discomfort.

“You can't just do that! You can't just deny all of these mares and expect us to just take it! Now you are going to accept our love or we'll just have to force it onto you!” She shouts, her nose practically touching yours.

“Fluttershy, That's enough!” Twilight shouts, causing the yellow pegasus to snap out of her stupor.

“B-But, I –”

Twilight huffs loudly, pulling out a scroll and rolling it under Fluttershy, across the table; it rolls right across to the other side. Fluttershy barely has time to register what's going on before Twilight starts to explain.

“I'm sure none of you know what this is?” She says irritably. She was right, the looks of confusion and curiosity are evident on each pony present as they inspect the document in front of them.

“This is something Anon told me about a while back. It's called a restraining order.” She recites, gesturing to the different parts of the parchment.

Your eyes widen in shock at the purple mare. Nobody else knows about such a thing, so their reactions go unchanged. At least until PurpleSmart explains.

“This order completely prevents anypony who has this filed against them from contacting and approaching the home or person of the subject, in this case Anon.” They all stare at the paper worried. You however are completely shocked. When did you even tell her about this?! A freaking restraining order! You could die, right now.

Rainbow raises her hoof into the air.

“Quick question...what's to stop somepony going up to Anon, even with this restraining order thingy?” Twilight smiles knowingly.

“Good question. If somepony were to violate the restraining order, said pony could be subject from fines...” Everyone present sighs in relief. “...up to imprisonment.” And they all go wide eyed again.

“Imprisonment?!” Pinkie shouts, her hooves connecting with the table in panic.

“Yes, it's all dependent on the severity of the violation, but it is a possibility.” Twilight states matter-of-factly.

“How does one know if they're on the order?” Rarity asks, her eyes shifting nervously between you and the document. Twilight smiles proudly.

“I would like to draw everyone's attention to this small box, here...” She points to a single large box at the bottom of the page. “...Anypony who has their name written in that box, filed under this order, can't speak to Anon...they will be notified and therefore under the order.”
An audible gulp can be heard throughout the booth. In fact, you can hear a few nervous mutterings coming from other places in the bar.

Twilight quickly rolls up the parchment and hands it to you; you hesitantly take it.

“Anon, ya can't possibly be considering taking that thing!” Applejack states, begging you with her eyes not to take it.
Fluttershy – who was starting to tear up now – promptly flies out the door, leaving you all behind.

“I-I'll go check up on her.” And just like that. Rarity was gone too.

“Ya see what you're doing here?! You're breaking our hearts!” She practically screams in your face as she leans over the table. “Now, ah understand that ya do thing differently back where ya come from when it comes to romancin', but here, a mare should be allowed to chase any stallion she wants until he gives in. Just because yer not from here doesn't mean-”

Aaaaaand that's enough!

“If I was to start forcing you to eat meat because of my customs back home, you'd try to beat me to death! You'd do the same if you came to my world and someone tried to make you eat it! There's no difference!” You shout right back, getting right up in Applejack's face.
She recoils slightly but tries to hold her ground, although you see the defeat in her eyes as they gloss over. She quickly turns and runs out of the building, leaving just you, pinkie, Rainbow and Twilight, the scroll still clutched in your hands. Pinkie holds her head low as she follows Applejack, saying nothing.

Well, now you feel like an asshole. Is it too much to want to be left alone for a day or two? Can you not even have that?

“They'll get over it.” Twilight says, standing up and exiting the booth. “Take that to Mayor Mare tomorrow and make it official.” She says, pointing to the scroll in your hand. You nod and allow her to leave.

You just remain sitting there, staring at the document that would grant you your freedom from the mares that harass you, day and night...but why does it feel like a hollow victory? You can't help but feel like this could be the worst mistake of your life. There will be so many things that can go wrong...but it's your freedom, your privacy, the ability to not need to convert your entire house into a cold war bunker.

“You alright there big guy?” Rainbow says quietly as she nudges your side to get your attention.

“Yeah...thanks.” A heavy sigh escapes you as you look up to the rainbow-maned pegasus.

“Shouldn't you be...happy?”

You just shrug as you sit in your chair. A brief quiet overcomes you, before Rainbow Dash silently leaves the table, only to come back a few moments later with two large foaming flagons.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asks, her depressed demeanor suddenly evaporating as she sits next to you.

“Hit me.”

“Wai...Wai... I-I don't undershtand...” Rainbow rambles out, jabbing into your shoulder as gently as her drunken hoof-eye coordination will allow her, which was not very gently.

“What don't you understand?” You respond, not nearly as smashed as your blue furred companion.

“I-I thought you wanted all us p-ponies to...to l-leave you alone?” She asks, her lip quivering slightly.

“Not all ponies, just the ones who can't take a hint.” You take another swig.

“Yeah, b-but I thought t-this was what you wanted?”

You let out another sigh of regret as you signal the bartender for another two drinks.

“I guess, but did you see Applejack's face when she left? Or Pinkie's? Or Fluttershy's? Hell, even Rarity was upset...And it was because of me...” You feel a hoof resting on your shoulder.

“Hey bro, I know you feel bad just now, but just think. Every time I've come over, every single time; your door has been knocked on and it hasalways been AJ or Fluttershy. You've always complained about everyone harassing you, but now you have a chance to stop it and
I think you should take it.” Rainbow says in quite possibly the most sober voice you've ever heard from her.

Seriously, not even sober Rainbro is this sober.

You look to the scroll on the table, the key to your happiness and the key to your privacy all-

“Fuck it.” with a sigh of resignation, you place both hands on the scroll and tear it straight down the middle and then again for good measure.

Rainbow Dash sits there, shocked at your actions.

“What? They're not that bad. Besides, I'd be fucked if Rarity wasn't allowed near me. I'd need to go to Manehattan for clothes!” She searches your face for any sign of deceit and finds none.

She smiles that bro smile you often see from her as she nuzzles your shoulder affectionately. Tired of the dramatic stuff for one night you take the new flagons of hard cider and hand on to her.

“Race ya!”

“You're on!”

Even later that night.

“Shhooooowwww me the way to go hoooommmmeeee
I'm tired and IWantToGoTo bed
I had a little drink about an hour agooooo
And it’s gone right to myHead
Everywhere I roaaammm
Over land or sea or foaaammm
You can always hear me singing this sooonnnggg
Said show me the way to go hoooome!”

The two of you slowly stagger your way back to your place, drunk off your ass and not caring who heard your terrible singing.

“Ssshhow me the way to go Hoooommmmmeee.
IIIII'MMMM Tired and I wantgoto Bed. ...Wait, Anon?”

You stop your absolutely fabulous singing to look to your bro, who was currently leaning agianst you for dear life.

“Whu whe Wha?” Fucking lexical genius right there!

“W-W...Why are we shinging thishhh shong?”…good question.

“It's ...it's just...it's just what drunk people shing, don't fight it.” With both of your minds completely swimming in alcohol, you both just shrug and continue your song.

You're so captivated by your own song that you barely just manage to notice your house coming up. After a few moments you find the door unlocked, and allow yourself in.

“A-Anon?” Rainbow remains standing at the door, rubbing one of her fore-hooves with the other.

“Yeah?”

“D-Do you ever think you could be with a mare?” You cock an eyebrow and shrug helplessly.

“Don't know. I'm just not ready just now. I just hope I can get through this phase everyone is going through.” You stroke your chin for a moment, thinking on how you were going to deal with Fetishy, Rariperve and RapeleJack...that and the possibility of growing a beard.

“Heck, maybe they'll leave me alone as it is.” You shout, letting your arms fan out in excitement. “Not likely though.” And they drop again. You're pretty tired, you should probably go to bed.

“Look bro, it's getting late so I think I should go to bed. You okay to get home?” She glances around the house before looking down in
disappointment.

“I could probably get home by myself...Unless...y-you -?”

She never finished her sentence, because you'd closed the door to the bathroom before allowing her to finish. She sighs dejectedly as she closes the door and returns home, the heavy anvil of disappointment and failure weighing in her chest.

The next morning.

Your head slowly rises from your pillow as Celestia's sun beats down on your face. You let your head flop back down onto the...cold dirty path...

Wait...

“What the hell?” You jolt upwards, standing to your feet and looking around you.

A forest? Weren't you at home last night?

Have I returned to Earth?...wait no, this is the Everfree, so what's going on?

“Morning!” You almost jump straight out of your skin at the sudden voice. You turn around to see a light grey unicorn mare, wearing sweat bands and a hair band to keep her black mane tied back.

You just manage to get your baring back so you can respond. “Yes, good morning.” You say, trying to catch your breath.

“You okay mister?” The mare asks, looking from you to your sleeping position. Oh god did she see me?

“Uh...yeah, just a little...confused.” Your neck seems like it needs a good sheepish rub around now.

“I'll say.” She takes out her headband and lets her mane fall in front of her face as she tries to retie it.

“I don't think we've met.” You try to spark a conversation to avoid the awkwardness of the situation.

“No we haven't. I'm Grim. You?”

“Anon.” ...and here comes the awkward silence. You both exchange awkward glances. Actually more you exchange awkward glances and she looks to you pleasantly.

“So...uh, I should probably get home then. Don't want to worry my friends.”

"Okay then, see ya around." She says happily, jogging off into the distance, leaving nothing behind but her name.

who was that? You take another quick look around the forest.

You know exactly where you are. The path you - apparently - slept on is the road leading to Zecora's hut. Judging by the position of the sun in the sky, you can guess that it is about mid-morning. Basically, between waking up and Fluttershy's first knock.

Better get a move on.

Deciding that you'd rather avoid any worried search parties - or Timberwolves for that matter - you pick up your pace and head into town, the gentle heat of the morning sun beating off of your shirted back.

The walk back to Ponyville was rather quiet, the weather was clear and you didn't encounter anything out of the ordinary from where you woke up to where you are now, which is just outside of Ponyville town square.

You love going into town this early, it's far too early for anybody to bother you and you love to enjoy that luxury...when you can be arsed waking up. You catch sight of the Ponyville library, Twilight and Rarity conversing outside the front door. It was clear that it was only choice words that are being used.

Fuck it, I need to speak to Twilight anyway.

You slowly walk up to the ponies as they continue to converse, surprised that they haven't noticed you yet. You were about to raise your voice when suddenly a shrill shriek cut through the air like a million needles puncturing your eardrums.

Then another.

Everyone around town square takes notice, looking at the supposed source of the screaming.

“That sounded like Fluttershy.” You tell no one in particular. Everyone present quickly drops what they were doing and starts to run towards the screaming mare as she continues to screech out in repeated bursts of panic and terror.

It took a moment to register what's going on, but you snap out of it and quickly sprint down the road, the ponies having had a head start, but you soon come up the rear, rushing past many of the small equines.

The screams lead you to a familiar building...your house. You stop to catch your breath. Fuck sake, she's probably just found out you're not home. You irritably trudge your way past the ponies and into the living room of your home.

There you find a traumatized Fluttershy in the arms of a teary eyed Applejack, still screaming though muffled and not as loud.
“What's going on?” They don't respond, probably too traumatized to answer.

You make your way into the kitchen to find a small red stain on the counter, most of the stuff on the counter on the floor and Twilight frantically trying to reassure a flat-maned Pinkie Pie. The main horde of ponies remain outside, your friends being the only ones inside.

“I've contacted the guard, they'll be here any minute now.” Twilight says before breaking down into her own set of tears.

“What the fuck is going on?” You ask, but no one hears you. You absentmindedly follow a small trail of blood droplets to the bedroom, hoping to find the source of all this drama. You find Rarity and Rainbow Dash.

Both of which covered in blood...just not their own.

You see a tall bipedal creature with hands lying on your bedroom floor it's head resting in Rainbow's forelegs as she stared off into space.

Is that...me? the creature looked like you. it was certainly human, but...

“Oh ha ha. You got me, well done!” You congratulate them with a slow clap, but find silence, being your only response

“Hello?” You are met with only the sounds of sobbing and screaming.

“Answer me!”

“Hello Anon.” You jump at the sudden voice, turning around to see the white mare from the woods, but now she was dressed entirely differently. A black hooded cloak covering her body as she held a scythe in her left hoof as she extended her right. Gazing up at you with a knowing smirk.

“Maybe I should introduce myself again. Name's Grim...as in Grim Reaper.”

You stare at the outstretched forehoof as she looks up to you with deep red eyes. You can only think of one thing at the sheer magnitude of the situation. The one thought that is bombarding your mind so loudly that you just have to let it out... no matter how pathetic you sound.

“...oh Fuck.”

Author's Note

Wrote this to help with my Post traumatic exam disorder. (Seriously, fuck exams.)

Maybe now I'll get some more writing done for my wonderful readers... *Cough*maybe*Cough*

Thanks go to The Diplomat for editing.

Stay awesome everyone !