The Most Awesome and Extreme Walk EVER!
-Princess JSF Goes for a Walk-
By JumpingShinyFrogs (because I needed to tell you)
It was a gorgeous day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, the deer in the Everfree were being viciously murdered by manticores, and an extremely well known and beloved pony was strutting through town like she owned the place, because she totally did.
She was a tall, elegant alicorn with a brilliant green coat and a long dark blue mane. Her cutie mark was a blue frog with black spots. It represented her unconditional kindness towards animals and how awesomely far she could jump. Oh yes, Princess JumpingShinyFrogs was so epic and awesome that she made Chuck Norris bow down to her. She used to be an ordinary earth pony from the shitty and rainy Emerald Isle, but Princess Celestia made her an alicorn just because she was awesome. No further explanation required.
The superbly awesome JSF was enjoying the sights of Ponyville, when suddenly Big Mac started drinking in the view of her super sexy flank. JSF realised that he was coming onto her, so she started wiggling seductively until she got the biggest wingboner. Big McDonalds started getting ready to mount her, when there was an angry shout.
JSF magically got her wings under control for no explained reason. She turned, and said in her super sexy voice, "Who's there interrupting my sexytime?"
It was Rainbow Dash, and she looked pissed off. JSF looked at her with a face that said "I could kill you and everything you care for. It wouldn't be hard."
"Mac is my stallion," said Rainbow. "Hooves off!"
JSF laughed. Her horn lit up with a blue aura and she sent a concentrated beam of magic at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow fell to the ground in a heap. Rainbow stood up, dazed. JSF could have killed her, but she didn't because she's really kind like that. JSF grinned and turned to Mac. "So, where were we?"
"Ah was about to mount ya," said Mac.
The two were preparing for the sexiest ride ever, when there was a lightning strike. The Womderbolts had landed, Soarin', Spitfire and Fleetfoot.
"Hey bitch, don't hurt our teammate," said Soarin'.
"I'll hurt whoever I damn feel like hurting!" said JSF in her angry yet sultry voice.
"Oh no you didn't," said Spitfire, somehow snapping her hooves.
JSF made a force field bubble with her horn. It expanded outwards until it bitchslapped the Wonderbolts and sent them flying without using their wings.
"Adios, motherfuckers!" called JSF. She used her magic to predict where they were going to land and made a safety bubble for them, so they wouldn't die. She was so nice, forgiving her enemies and being merciful. She turned to her handsome hunk of a stallion and presented herself to him, her wonderfully curved flanks just begging to be used.
Big Mac prepared himself to finally get on top of his girl. The two fucked vigorously for a while before Big Mac decided he needed to go back to the farm and left.
Smiling, JSF continued along her path. Stallions stopped to stare at her as she flounced down the streets. All around the awesome princess, ponies were breaking up relationships out of jealousy. She was so sexy that she inadvertently turned every mare in Ponyville lesbian.
As she continued, she saw her absolute best friend, Fluttershy. Applejack was also there, and JSF was pretty good friends with her too.
"Hey Applebitch, guess what?" called JSF.
"What?" asked Applejack.
"I just fucked your brother."
Applejack flushed a bright red, kind of the same colour as her cutie mark, and leapt at JSF, hooves outstretched. JSF yawned, filed her hoof a little bit, and lit her horn with its pale blue aura.
Applejack was caught in midair in JSF's telekinetic grip. JSF gently set her down on the ground and ruffled her mane.
"It's alright, Applejack. I know you'll forgive me because I'm just that awesome."
"Yer right," said Applejack.
With that, she walked off. Fluttershy had just kind of been watching, and not really doing anything, but now that Applejack was gone, she was alone with the sexy, awesome, and super strong princess. She suddenly realised that she had an emergency that the wonderful princess was needed for.
"JSF, come quickly! Your rival is threatening all of the little animals down at my shelter!" she said frantically.
"No! Not the cute little animals! Are my dart frogs being threatened?" asked JSF.
"Yeah, your archnemesis is especially interested in all of your cute-yet-dangerous frogs," said Fluttershy, randomly casual.
"Then we must go immediately!"
JSF's horn glowed bright blue and the pair disappeared in a flash. They reappeared in Fluttershy's backyard. All of the little animals were running around panicking, and some little corpses lay strewn around.
Sitting in the centre and orchestrating the grand scene of destruction was a pitch black alicorn stallion with a red mane. His cutie mark was a blood-red newt. He was red and black cause he was evil and stuff.
He laughed evilly. "Ah, I see that the truly awesome and strong, yet not-strong-enough Princess JumpingShinyFrogs has finally decided to arrive! Are you going to give me your awesome powers now?"
"No way, SquattingTarnishedNewts!" said JSF. "My awesomeness is just for me!"
"Then I'm going to kill you and take your power anyway cause I'm cool like that," said STN.
"Nope!"
JSF used her horn and willed the Elements of Harmony into existence. All six of them, for some reason not in the Tree of Harmony, circled around her and began to glow. She opened her eyes wide, allowing STN to see that they were glowing white. A crazy powerful rainbow burst from her horn and sent STN flying towards the somehow-visible-during-the-day moon. A unicorn stallion silhouette appeared on the moon.
"Oh thank you, kind, awesome, sexy and strong princess," said Fluttershy, hugging the great princess' legs.
"No, I was just doing my duty as a totally awesome and all-powerful goddess of Equestria," said JSF exceedingly humbly.
"...and then, Fluttershy and the awesome princess hugged and shared a deep and insightful discussing on the nature of predators. The end," said the Leaping Bound, speaking around a quill. She spat out the quill and picked up her masterpiece.
A wide smile crossed her face as she held up the parchment.
"I can't wait to show my novel to Twilight! She'll be sure to want to publish it!" she said..
"I wonder if she'll be able to figure out that Princess JumpingShinyFrogs is actually me?"
She looked at her bright green coat, long blue mane, and frog-shaped cutie mark. Then she read her description of the Princess.
"Nah."
Author's Note
For the love of god, please don't take this seriously. I wrote this as part of a fever dream.
