I blame magic and the Forces of the Universe!

"Are you kidding me! So you're just gonna lie there, reading?" Gilda shouted at me.

"Well it is the weekends, and we are at the city, so I don't see what the fuss is about!" I replied. "Now be quiet! I just got to a good part!" I told her.

"No! You just sit here, reading, while griffons out there are suffering?" She asked me.

I looked out the window. "They're throwing a parade. They're all happy. Now let me read!"

Gilda took the book I was reading and threw it out the window. I grabbed another copy off the shelf next to me and went back to my place. "Seriously? You're just gonna lie there and read?"

"Yep. The weekends are my 'Don't do a single fucking thing.' Days. That means I don't do anything productive that is useful to someone else if possible." I said, flipping the page.

"Hey!" Something opened the door. "I found where they're holding the icecream and muffins!" It was a changeling.

"Thanks. If you want some, I would suggest getting it yourself." I told Lightning, Talon, and Gilda.

"Muffins! Expect me to come with!" I heard Ditzy shout. Getting off the bed, I grabbed my rifle and pistol, before walking out the door, the changeling following me, Ditzy joining us outside.

"So where's this stash at?" I asked Tom.

"At the edge of town, right next to the grocery store. Happiness, after all, is something we an eat, and icecream, we discovered is almost pure happiness. Muffins are actually just tasty." He said. We got into the truck, and drove off to raid the stash.

"The bags our in the back. We go in, take out the guards silently, and GTFO." I told the two, parking the truck behind an abandoned apartment building.

"Got it!" Tom said, grabbing a big duffel bag.

"Okay!" Derpy grabbed one, me following, before we put on the hockey masks and attached the silencers.

"Derpy, get on that building, fire support until I tell you to come in. Tom, you handle the explosives. We set?" The two nodded. "Lets go!"

I got out of the car, running behind the fence, Tom right across from me, while Derpy flew onto the roof of a nearby building. "Derpy, what do you see?"

"One changeling to your left as soon as you burst in, two on a roof across from you, one on the right of you, and one in the building ahead." She told me.

"Got it." I turned to Tom. You get the guys on the right, and slowly sweep your way to the center. I'll get the guys on the right." He nodded. Bracing myself, I said, "Three, two, one... Now!" We burst in.

I shot the changeling on the left in the chest with a burst, before running towards cover, bullets streaking past me. "Derpy! Can you get that one in the building?"

In response, I heard a gunshot, and Derpy said, "He's history."

"Thanks!" I waited for a moment for the two on the roof to stop shooting. They were good. One would shoot and reload, the other taking his place, then repeat.

I took a grenade out of my pocket, pulled the pin, and threw. "Grenade out!" I shouted.

The shooting stopped for a second, but that was all I needed. "Tom! Shoot them now!" I popped out of cover and aimed at the two on the roof, waiting for them to start shooting again.

"Shadow, which grenade did you throw?" Derpy asked.

"Uh... Let me see... Not a frag... Isn't that dandy, I threw a fucking flashbang. Tom, take 'em out." He nodded, flying up and shot the two now blind and deaf changelings.

"Must've gotten a lucky throw." He told me.

"Probably. Derpy! Get your bag! It's time to get the goods!" We ran into the building.

"Clear!" Derpy shouted.

"Clear!" Tom said.

"Clear." I said. "Tom, get the C4. Blow the vault door open, then we can get some nice icecream and muffins."

Tom nodded, before crouching near the vault door and setting the explosives up. "Take cover!" He shouted, running outside. I followed him, Derpy hiding behind the desk. One loud explosion later, and we were in.

"Muffins!" Derpy shouted, running in and grabbing as much of the baked good as she could.

I ran in, grabbing as much icecream and muffins as I could. What could I say, I was a man who liked both.

"Icecream!" Tom shouted in joy.

"Hurry up! We don't want to be here longer than necessary!" I told them.

"I'm done!" Derpy said, her bag filled to the brim with muffins.

"All good here!" Tom said, the Jen and Berry icecreams cartons filling his bag up to the breaking point.

"Good here." I said, walking out to the truck. "Come on, we need to get to the apartment."

A few minutes later, and we were sitting in the apartment, enjoying our stolen goods. "Derpy, save some muffins for us!" Gilda told her.

"Tom! We need some icecream too!" Lightning and Talon said together.

I just sat back and watched with a smile. "And that is why I got each." I held a muffin in one hand with a spoon, and an icecream carton in the other. "Please!" All three griffons had turned towards me.

"Nope. You guys should've come along! I told you, I don't do anything productive for anyone else but me on the weekends! And that is the end of the argument!" I said in a stern voice.

"Fine!" The three said dejectedly. "Be that way."

"I will." I told them.the rest of the day was Tom, Derpy, and I being holed up in the bedroom, protecting our goods from the three griffons who so badly wanted some.