Insert Human Here

When I awoke, I was falling from the sky. I caught a glimpse of my hands as my eyesight returned.

What the--?! Where are my fingers?

In panic, I flailed my arms around frantically. It was then that I felt something protruding from behind me.

Wings? Since when did I have wings?

But there was no time to question the strange changes in my body. I would be reaching terminal velocity at any moment. I then realised that I had wings. Taking an instant to learn how to control them, I gave a quick flap to slow my descent. I repeated this until I slowed to a speed I was comfortable with.

But while I was gliding downwards, something very peculiar happened. There was a cloud that I had my eye on, because when you're moving this slowly, you have to find something to do, but while I was watching this cloud, there was a great flash of light, and the cloud seemed to disappear into a rainbow-coloured puff of smoke.

The rainbow then zoomed past me again and called out to me.

“Hey, you! I could use a little help here!”

She then stopped and punched through another cloud. It was then that I could finally see what that mysterious figure was. She was a pegasus with a cyan coat and a mane that was an indescribable shade of rainbow. It was at that moment that I remembered that I should probably stop staring at her and answer her instead.

“Help with... Cloud control?” I replied uncertainly.

“Of course! What else?” she said with the tiniest bit of hostility in her tone.

The rainbow pegasus seemed to have a few attitude issues, issues that I was not at all unfamiliar with, but my judgement of her character would have to wait, because I had a new mission to fulfil.

“Okay... I'll do my best,” I said as I accepted her challenge.

Let's do this...

I flapped my way towards the nearest cloud and grabbed onto it, but was taken aback by the fact that it inexplicably remained solid in my... hooves.

Look, you can sort all of this out later, for now, just stay focused on the task at hand... hoof... WHATEVER!

After giving the cloud a solid whack, it dissipated, leaving me to clumsily manoeuvre to the next one. About ten clouds later, I was finally starting to learn how to control my wings for a more accurate flight path, but after dispelling a few more of those puffs of condensed water, I took a look around the perimeter of my vicinity. There were no more clouds to be found. The skies were clear. I spotted the rainbow pegasus dashing back towards me.

“...And we're done. I really wish I could thank you for the help, but honestly, you fly like a first year flight school drop-out,” she said coldly, before speeding away.

...And a good morning to you too, bit-*growl*

My frustration was interrupted by my hunger. For some reason, I found myself craving a pastry of some kind. I began to glide back down towards the ground.

When I finally hit the ground, I saw that I was in what appeared to be a town of some sorts, but what immediately caught my eye is that there were ponies EVERYWHERE. Along with the standard flavour of ponies, there also existed unicorns and pegasi.

So anyway, randomly losing my fingers, growing wings, and falling out of the sky into a society dominated by different species of ponies caused me to put two and two together in order to conclude that I, for some reason, had been transformed into a pony, a pegasus pony, to be more specific.

But for what purpose am I here?

I decided not to think about it any longer, and instead opted to walk down the road to see where it would take me. Adapting to walking on all fours was easier than I expected. As I was taking in my surroundings, I noticed a sound behind me that was quite out of rhythm when compared to my... hoof beats.

Stopping to look behind me, I spotted a pink pony bouncing happily with a huge smile on her face and her eyes closed. She was obviously not watching where she was going, and because of that, that was all the information that I was allowed to gather before one of her bounces sent her flying directly into me.

After the collision, our bodies were contorted on the ground in a tangled mess. Having a closer look at her, I noticed something quite interesting about her appearance while we untangled ourselves. Her mane, which was also pink, was untamed, and flowed into a shape that could only be described as puffy, which is something that I never thought was naturally possible in a horse. Once we had recovered from our fall, the pink pony began to apologise.

“Ohmygosh I'msosorry Ishould'veseenwhereIwasgoing and—GASP!”

Her loud voice and rapid-fire tongue caught me off guard, but not nearly as much as her sudden gasp, which was accompanied by an extensive leap into the air. She then landed, resumed speaking, and began circling me while bouncing excitedly.

“There's a new pony in town! I can't believe there's a new pony in town! Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! Because you know what happens when I find out there's a new pony in town?!”

“Ehh... No, I don't...” I answered nervously as I instinctively leaned back in fear.

“A PARTY!” exclaimed the pink pony with, in my opinion, way too much enthusiasm.

Jeez... How much sugar does this girl eat?!

“Ooh, but before I can start planning your welcome party, I have to know your name!” As she said this, she handed me an index card with a large cluster of letters on it.

Name Entry One

Hmm... Since I'm in a new environment and I've taken a new shape, I might as well assume a different identity while I'm at it. But I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a very creative person, which means that I've always been terrible at thinking of new names... Wait, what does that say there? “Insert Name Here?” Actually, that sounds like a great place to start. I just have to play around a bit with the spelling to make it seem like a real name...

After experimenting for a while, I managed to come up with a name: Incer Tony Miere. After thinking of this, I noticed that the square on the card was moving to each individual letter in order to type the name that I thought of. It was certainly strange, but compared to the mannerisms of the pony that had given it to me, the telepathic, animated card was definitely less scary.

Name Entry Two

Once the final letter was typed in, I handed the card back to the pony by balancing it on my hoof, and said, “I really have no idea what this is, but my name is Incer Tony Miere.”

She takes the card back. “Thanks, Incer!” she said with a smile. “I'm Pinkie Pie!” Her excitement level, having peaked earlier, seems to have declined to... whatever level Pinkie considers normal. “So, about your party, is tomorrow good?”

“Tomorrow sounds great, actually,” I answered.

“OK! Your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party is gonna be at Sugar Cube Corner, tomorrow at noon!” she said, still smiling.

“OK, but where's Sugar Cube Corner?” I asked.

“It's the giant gingerbread cupcake house right over there, silly!” she answered as she aimed her hoof at the candy-shaped building.

“Oh...” I said, probably with the most stupid look possible on my face. I had made a complete fool of myself. Even as a pony, this wasn't the first time this had happened, and I knew that it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

“Hmm... You look like you could use the help of somepony to show you around,” said Pinkie Pie, sounding normal for once.

“Yes,” I replied. “That would be most helpful.”

Wait a minute... somePONY?

“It's too bad I'll be too busy planning your party to do it myself...” She tapped a hoof to her chin while thinking, then suddenly perked up while gasping simultaneously. An idea must have entered her head. “But I bet I can get my friend Rainbow Dash to help you out!”

Rainbow... The mere mention of the word brought me back to the encounter I had earlier that morning.

Pinkie must have sensed something wrong with my reaction, because she immediately asked me, “What's wrong? Are you afraid to meet her?”

“Eh... Kind of...” That was the best answer I could think of.

She then reassured me by saying, “You've got nothing to worry about, 'cos Dashie's totally great once you get to know her!”

...Dashie?!

She then started out in search of her friend, and I followed closely behind, but not too closely, because I had no clue what to expect from this girl. “Now,” said Pinkie as we were walking, “Around this time of day, she's usually taking a nap in a cloud or a tree... Wait! I see something over there! I think that's her! Let's go check it out!”

Pinkie and I ran towards the tree in a full gallop. As we drew nearer to our objective point, I could make out the specks of cyan that failed to blend in with the browns and greens of their resting place. My fears were confirmed. I then steeled myself, flew up to the limb that was being used as a makeshift bed, and took a close look at the technicolour mare.

Her appearance portrayed a completely different demeanour than that of the harsh flier that I had met earlier. She had a look of torment on her face, as if she wanted to cry, and produced sound in the form of a soft, agonised moan that suggested intense discomfort, all of which was accompanied by sets of twitches in various parts of her body that, on their own, would be considered slightly adorable, but in this situation, only added to the horror.

Although I enjoyed the sight at first, my (admittedly sick) satisfaction would be short-lived, as I couldn't help but to feel concern for the girl. I wanted to end her pain, nudge her awake, call her back into reality, but then, I quickly realised that it was not my place to do that. Given the fact that her initial reception of me was quite cold, it seemed that if I was the one to rescue her from her torture, it would only incite the worst possible things. I needed to find someone else that was better suited to the task at hand, and luckily, that someone was right beneath me.

“Uh, Pinkie Pie? We've got a bit of a situation up here that I don't think I should handle. Do you mind if I just give you a lift up here, and let you...”

“No worries! I've got it all taken care of.”

How the...?!

To my surprise, Pinkie was behind me, on top of a higher tree limb. But even worse, the shock made me lose control of my wings, sending me plummeting towards the ground. After landing on my back, I rolled around to regain my footing, and focused my attention above. Pinkie Pie had already awoken Rainbow Dash from her painful slumber, and was comforting her by using her hooves to give soft, gentle strokes of her dishevelled coat. They gazed into each others' eyes, showing what seemed to be... affection?

Are those two... No, they couldn't be... Are they...? And why can't I move my wings?

I wanted to fly up to where the two ponies were, but for some reason, the muscles and joints connected to my wings were completely stiff. My unmoving, rigid wings could not generate any lift, which left me to remain grounded, awkwardly staring at the two ponies above, who were at this time, embracing each other in a true display of passionate support.

Stupid wings... Why won't you move...--!!

I roughly massaged my wings in an attempt to soften them up, but my efforts only succeeded in sending an unexpected jolt of energy to circulate throughout my entire body. To say that my wings were sensitive would be one of the greatest understatements ever made.

W-W-What is this feeling?!

As I was convulsing, I looked up once again and saw that Pinkie Pie had released Rainbow Dash from her reassuring grasp, and was poised to leap from the tree limb she was standing on back down to the earth.

“Okey Dokey Lokey, Incer!” said Pinkie after landing. “She's all readied up for you!”

As she said this, a feeling of suspicion came over me. I couldn't help but to suspect that she was eyeing my wings, which, although gradually softening, were still quite a bit stiff, and while I did not have any idea why, this somehow caused me to feel an intense rush of shame and embarrassment. But somehow, this rush did the trick, as it caused my once-petrified wings to become flexible once again. I flew up to Rainbow Dash's level.

“So... We meet again, Rainbow Dash,” I said in order to grab the pegasus's attention and initiate conversation.

“Kyaa!” Rainbow Dash replied with a panicked shriek and sprung backwards, causing her to fall from her perch in the tree. I followed her down.

“Is there some sort of problem here?” I said concernedly, raising an eyebrow in response to her odd reaction.

“J-J-Just stay right there, okay? T-There's no need to do anything. I'm a good pony. I-I d-don't need to be shipped off to the bakery or anything. P-please don't hurt m-me!”

...Bakery? Whatever, she's probably just still scared from her nightmare. It must have been something extreme, seeing how she's acting right now. I'll just proceed as normal.

“I'm not going to hurt you,” I said while trying to look as non-threatening as possible.

“You're not?” she replied in an uncharacteristically weak tone of voice.

“Of course not,” I assured. “Now, I've no clue of what I've done to make you so scared of me, but we both have to admit, the clouds kind of got us off to a rocky start. Believe it or not, I'm not THAT bad of a guy. So, how about we start all over and give it another go?” I asked as I extended a hoof.

Rainbow rose to her feet. The fear seemed to disappear from her face. “Yeah, I like that idea,” she replied with a smile. She then reached her hoof out to meet mine, and we engaged in the fingerless equivalent of a handshake. “You probably know this already, but I'm Rainbow Dash,” she said, having regained all of her confidence.

“It's good to meet you for real this time, Rainbow Dash,” I said, trying not to make any mistakes in my conversation. I've never been a good socialiser. “My name is Incer Tony Miere, and I'm actually new here in...”

“Ponyville.”

“In Ponyville. I've already met your friend Pinkie Pie,” I said, almost laughing.

“Ha! Has she already started planning your party?” asked the pegasus.

“Yes, she has, but with how hyper she is, she might already be finished by now!” I answered, unable to contain my laughter.

We both laughed out loud at Pinkie's expense, but thankfully, she had already left, probably for Sugar Cube Corner. At least I hoped that she had, because for some reason, Pinkie seemed like the stalker type.

“Anyway, she actually recommended that I come see you so that you could help show me around the place,” I said once our laughter had subsided.

“Oh, really? Well, I guess I can give you one of my aerial tours of Ponyville.” Rainbow gave me a sly grin. “If you can keep up.”

“Well, we both know how great my flying skills are,” I responded sarcastically, “but I'll still give it a shot. Let's do this!”