Insert Human Here

Author's Note: Brace yourself! That is all.

PoV Character: Pinkie Pie

I yawned as I opened up my eyes to the sunshine-y light that was pouring through my window. For some weird reason or another, I was all sweaty.

Time for a new day... But what was with that dream? Something about a hacksaw... Why do they call it that, anyway?

As I was thinking, I felt something moving underneath the covers. Location-wise, it was around the inside of my hind leg, or maybe between my haunches, but really it was more―

!!

“Aaahhh!” I screamed as energy coursed through my body, kind of like a lightning bolt, except instead of hurting me like a lightning bolt would, this energy made me feel all warm and tingly on the inside. At this moment I knew exactly what was in my bed. I tossed aside the quilt and leapt to the floor beside me, then apprehended the intruder.

“Look, Gummy,” I said while giving off a nervous laugh. “I know you like to make your Auntie Pinkie Pie feel good, but you really shouldn't be in there without my permission, okay?”

Gummy blinked. It was obvious that he was disappointed.

Oh, Gummy, you know I can't resist a sad face like that. Now I have to make you happy again, because a smile's a smile, no matter who it comes from.

“Aww... I don't want you to be upset,” I said as I comforted him. An idea of a compromise then formed in my mind. “How about we go over to that bathtub over there, and we can do whatever you want?”

Gummy blinked. It appeared that he liked the idea. He then walked into my bathroom and looked towards me expectantly. Taking the signal, I followed him in and climbed into the tub. It was tough to find a comfortable position to lie in, but sure enough, I found it. I then held my hoof out so that Gummy could clamp down on it, then reeled him into the tub. He then let go of my hoof and started using his snout to poke at my special place. It kind of tickled.

“Heehee!” I giggled. “Is my little Gummy ready to have some fun?”

Gummy might have blinked, but I wasn't quite sure. But I was sure of one thing: Gummy was definitely enjoying himself down there. I could feel him breathing faster the longer he stayed near me. I enjoyed every moment of the action as I felt the bursts of cool air tease me, almost in the same way as being tickled by somepony blowing a party horn in your face. But instead of a party horn in my face, it was Gummy's nose in my vagina!

“Ha ha ha, that's the spot! Nice job, Gummy! Do you want to go deeper inside now?”

I couldn't see whether Gummy had blinked or not, but he seemed to go along with it just fine. After stopping to make sure he was in position, he slowly inched his way forward until his scaly face was halfway buried.

“Aaaaahh~ There it is! You've got it, Gummy! N-now start moving around!”

To make a long story short, Gummy did what he was told, and kept at it. He just wouldn't let up. Not a second had gone by when I didn't feel his cutesy-wootsy little head twitching around inside of me!

“Nggg... Haaaaah... Gummy, you're so good at this~... Hmmm... M-makes me feel... Aaagh... Like I'm about to explode! Hhnngg...”

One more move, and I'll―

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

… … … … …

It had taken me a while to catch my breath after Gummy had put me over the edge. Looking over towards him, I could see that he escaped my insides safely, and that he looked really proud of himself, and since I wanted him to be the very happiest he could ever be, I decided to congratulate him on a job well done.

“Oh, Gummy, you're the best,” I said as I scooped him up in my hooves. Then I gave him a quick peck on the nose, just where he likes it best. Even better, it was still wet from our playtime!

“Mmm, tasty! Well anyway, it looks like we made quite a mess in here, Gummy,” I said as I pointed out a big puddle in the tub. “Let me just rinse this out, then we can both get ourselves cleaned up, okay?”

Gummy blinked.

… … … … …

Once we had finished our bath, I put Gummy back inside my bedroom and then left said room.

That's right. Today, I have to throw one of my super-special welcome parties for that new pony in town. What was his name again? Icer... Insert... Incer! His name was Incer! Wait, now I forget. Did I invite everypony to that party? I'd better check to make sure.

I was about to climb down the stairs to go out, but then I overheard Mr. Cake talking to Mrs. Cake.

“Shouldn't we confront her about this?”

“No, I think that is the kind of thing that goes best unmentioned.”

“It's the second time she's done that this week!”

“True... I think she's beyond our help, Carrot.”

I wonder what they're talking about... Oh well! Better get going!

Once on the ground, I shouted out to them, saying, “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I'm going out to invite my friends to the party! Bye~!” before running out the door.

Hmm... Maybe I should hit Dashie's house first.

While I was walking down the dirt road to Rainbow Dash's cloud house, I saw Rainbow Dash flying through the air, piling up clouds, so I called her.

“Rainbow Dash! I have to talk to you!”

“Sure, Pinks. What is it?”

“I didn't forget to invite you to Incer's welcome party, did I?”

“Of course not. You invited the entire town like you usually do for your welcome parties, remember? You did all of that yesterday!”

And just like that, the memories just came flooding back to me, all at once.

“Wow, Dashie! I can't believe I forgot that I had done all that! Anyway, what's with the clouds? Is it supposed to rain today?”

“Well, sort of. This is really just for a light shower. It'll be over before you know it.”

“Then do you really need all of those clouds?”

“You'd be surprised, Pinkie. In fact, I think this formation needs one more. I'll be right back.”

Just then, Rainbow Dash flew off to her house, but instead of going inside, she got underneath it and broke off a piece of it, then carried it back to put it with all the other rain clouds.

“Are you supposed to be doing that, Dash?”

“Normally, no, we don't do this. But, since this shower is going to be so short, I figure it can't do much harm. Anyway, you should probably clear out of here, Pinkie. It's gonna start pouring down.”

“Don't worry, Dashie! I love the rain! Ever since that chocolate milk attack hit Ponyville, I can't get enough of it!”

“Well, okay then. Suit yourself, Pinkie. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta make it rain!”

Then, Rainbow Dash flew up even higher into the air before diving hard into one of the clouds. The shock from that one cloud set off a whole bunch of other clouds, which set off a whole bunch of other clouds, which set off a whole bunch of other clouds, until all of the clouds were spilling out water, like a conga line full of rain clouds.

At least, I thought they were all spilling out water, but after looking closer, it seemed that there was something different about the cloud from Rainbow Dash's house. Instead of its raindrops being clear-coloured like you would expect from the rain, they were white, like milk, or even vanilla frosting!

Well, it may not be chocolate milk, but it still looks like it's worth trying!

Right away, I got underneath the special cloud and opened my mouth to let that mystery sweetness inside of me. But, to my surprise, instead of sweetness, I got bitterness as my reward, with a smidgeon of saltiness to boot. I felt its slimy texture going down my throat when I swallowed it, almost making me gag.

Hmm... This stuff doesn't taste good at all. It's probably not even recipe-worthy. But if that's the case, then why am I still here drinking it?

It was a complete mystery to me. But then, I remembered the time. My invitations were already delivered, so I had no more reason to be out here. Instead of drinking mysterious cloud goo, I should have been back at the bakery, setting up the party! I quickly rushed back to Sugar Cube Corner, and just like Dash told me, the rain didn't last all that long, almost clearing up completely before I got there.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” Looking to my left, I saw Incer standing at the service counter. Happy to see him here so early, I said, “Oh, hi, Incer! I hope you're super-duper pumped for your welcome party, because I sure totally am! It's almost party time! Woohoo!” Then I started bouncing around the room because I was so happy!

“Uh... Pinkie Pie?” Mr. Cake asked to get my attention. “Could you come with me for a second?”

“Sure thing, Mr. Cake!” I answered as I followed him into another room. “So, what is it that you want me for?” I asked. He had kind of a nervous look on his face.

“...Pinkie?”

“Yes?”

“Have you been playing in any... funny smelling liquids lately?”

“Well, there was that rain cloud that was pouring out a bunch of salty, slimy milk. It didn't taste good, that's for sure.”

“...A rain cloud?”

“Yeah! It came out of a rain cloud!”

“A rain cloud... Is this the absolute truth?”

“Of course, Mr. Cake! Why would I lie to you?”

We both sat in silence for a few seconds. Mr. Cake looked like he was thinking really hard about something. Eventually, he broke the silence by saying, “Okay, Pinkie. I'll take your word for it, but... be sure to clean yourself up before going back out there.”

“Will do, Mr. Cake!”

But as I was walking back upstairs, I could have sworn I heard Mr. Cake saying something.

“Definitely... Beyond...”

“What was that?” I asked him.

“N-nothing, Pinkie!”

...

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”