Chapters Hallaloo (It's Hallelujah)
My Granny is The bestest in the world!
By Ripple Coy
(Center your titles if you're going to have them on the same piece of paper as your written work. Also, always write your name on the right side of the paper. It's according to old lorethat Celestia made up about 400 years ago that we write out our names on the opposite of where the Sun crosses the sky.
It's easy to learn.It's irrelevant to learn. If you have trouble remembering where to write your name, mind the sky. You could do during recess or when your class quiets down in the mornings, try to take a peek at the window.
It's supposed to be on the left, the same side the Sun rises in Equestria. But the Sun should be chasing after you.
Don't chase after it.)
Granny Fluutershie is the bestest pony in the world!
(Oh? My little Ripple, darling Baby Boy Blue, I'm not the best pony. I am the best monster!
Don't admire me.
I'm delighted that you chose to write about me but it can't only be me who's the best?
It's always me.
Wasn't it just last week that you said that it was your big brother, Fleet Shriek? You can pick whoever you want but give the others some praise.Why couldn't anypony straighten that colt out? Foul-lipped boy. Should choke on soap with all of the swears he's been spewing. Rude. Disrespectful to the dead and martyred. I can't remember if I ever saw the light in his eyes. Horrible little child.
Ms. Weed might think that you're just copying from the other homework you've done.And you are. C-L-E-V- E -R, my Darling Divine Thinker. But you're seven. You're cleverness shouldn't be mistaken for laziness. But it has. Because you're seven and everypony thinks you're stupid. Everypony in Equestria, not including you, thinks I'm stupid. Broken. I HATEWhat more should anypony expect from you? Frankly, I don't like how your parents are thinking about pushing you into that boarding school when you turn ten. Still too young.
And you shouldn't add an -est to words you're unsure about. I know learning words can be hard. However, you must always do your best to convey what you mean. I failed. Bestest isn't considered a correct word because there can't be anything better than best.It's not true. I've met the bestest ponies in the world. They were my friends.
Try to use synonyms. Like Applejack finest or Rainbow Dash toughest or Twilight Sparkle greatest. I can tell you some fancier words that might improve your vocabulary. Rarity. Inimitable. Pinkie Pie. Beyond compare. )
She does cool stuff like fighite wormey dracons who dun't go nuthing better to do.
(They're Wyrm dragons, honey.Of course, you would be able to spell cool right. You're mocking, everypony. I'm proud of you. Teachers love it when you're being specific.Makes it easier for them to pretend they've actually read your work. Not all teachers, though. But all of the teachers I had in Cloudsdale when I was a child did. You're lucky that your flight scores aren't so strictly watched like it was in my day. It was a flight school, after all. But I wanted to leave so badly. They didn't care. When you're confused by a word, don't try to spell it by how it sounds. We I got you a pocket dictionary for that purpose.And I've seen you use it. But foreign words tend to be difficult and here's a random fact. When it comes to dragons, when it sounds like the letter 'u', it's most likely a 'y'.
Except when it's not. Dragons have many clans and species and they are very competitive amongst themselves. The old fad of changing their already countless languages to outdo each other in tongue-twisters is now back in style. Only the Elder dragons would be able to talk to all of them without offending a single soul. But most of them are sleeping in tunnels far below the Fir-Noch pits so there's no hope to be found. And everypony still calls on me. Here's how it's spelled. W-Y-R-M. See?
And it really wasn't a match. Or much of one. It was a sparring match with Glarkovus the Fanged something I don't remember . Who, might I add, really lived up to his name and if she was a younger mare... with how politesmooth he was with asking me to take him up on his offer.
Normally, I wouldn't take any dragon's request to spar since they, don't tell anypony I said this, are sore losers.I'm too old to be fooling around with the hard mead they pull out when they celebrate the victor. And once you partake of the drink, the loser tries so hard to convince me to take them on as a apprentice I don't want anyone to catch my sickness and it always gets messy. Dragons are quick to seduce a mare off their hooves, even with all that talk about traditions and honor they uphold... They'd do anything for love. Just like the rest of us. I wished I could learned that a long time ago)
She's a very, very, very, very important pony but she always makes time for me.
(I'm not important. Not since the others died. One after another. Nopony knows what to do with me. I will never let them have their way. N-E-V-E-RLovely Lurking Light, you're killing me here. Tugging on my brick and iron heartstrings. Don't do that. I don't have a heart that you can rely on.)
And this is why Granny Fluttershie is the bestest pony in the world. The End.
(Very blunt. Simple. You can do better than this. Your Granny isn't always going to be around forever. I am. Why don't you become better than Granny? I believe in you. Keep on writing.
Why did you become like the others? Why did you do it?)
Hallaloo (It's Hallelujah)
-We're doomed!
-I'm scared!
-We're all going to die!
-We're all going to die....Of hunger! I.. Uh... Let me check my saddlebags. Oh no, I left the snacks on the counter!
-But Pinkie, you have frosting on your face from the cupcake you're eating?
-Do you want some, Fluttershy? These are my special-trip-to-caves cupcakes. I left the extra-extra special-trip-to-cave sandwiches at home.
-Hold it together, y'all. The Princess has to be sending somepony after us. Rarity, how's Twilight?
-You're not supposed to be eating if you plan on running a lot. No point in chewin' when the legs need a movin'! I heard about it from Iron Will's BURN OUT TO WORK OUT pamphlet.
-You didn't have to shout it in my ear, Fluttershy dear.
-sorry.
-She's still knocked out, Applejack! Duuuhhh! I knew we should of just bucked that idiot right off her podium while she was in her ridiculous monologue! Oh my god, she was all bla blah 'I deserve to bear the elements' and bla blah 'I've found the way to eternal happiness!' I could've taken her.
I was talking to Rarity, Rainbow Dash! You've would've just wounded up mind-controlled like those dragons that attacked her right after I kept you from doing something stupid!
-Horseapples, I'm just saying!
-Language, Rainbow Dash!
-Yeah... Dashie, you've would have turned into her evil minion! Besides, we would had to call you Green-Blue Dash because all of your rainbow colors would went poof. Wait... Greenue? Greelue? Blueen?
-I'm faster than those stupid dragons! If I hadn't stayed back trying to find a route for us to escape, I would have been defeated her.
-And those dragons would have ate you right after!
-We've fought dragons before, Applejack.
-I've got it, Belue Dash! Hahahaha!
-That's not funny, Pinkie! I would be called Nuebge the Awesome and Terrifying!
-Oh please, Rainbow and Pinkie. I know a lot about colors and the right shade for Rainbow Dash... If she got brainwashed and turned evil would be... Caesious! Caesious Dash!
-You made that up!
-You made that up!
-You made that up!
-I certainty did not. Caesious means-
-Caesious was coined during the pre-classical period of-
-Twilight!
-You're awake!
-How's your noggin?
-It's... actually a botany term. It can mean both bluish green or bluish gray.
-Correct, Fluttershy and thank you all for your concern. How are we doing? Does Incantessa still have the Elements of Harmony?
-Yes.
-Yup.
-We kinda just picked you up and ran for it.
-Rainbow caused a cave-in to stop the dragons from following us.
-But Fluttershy says that are some smaller tunnels we can use to get back to Incantessa's throne room.
-How does she-
-She asked the moles.
-Right.
-So do you have a plan, Twilight?
-Well, if Incantess thinks that she can just steal the Elements to add to her crown, she's got another thing coming! Are you ready, girls?
I think Twilight died first. She has to die first. I'm not remembering things wrong.
You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. I know that you are lying, Fluttershy. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me. You can't trick me.
Let me go. I'm tired. I remember... No. I don't remember a thing. I want to see him. Let me see my grandson, Ripple Coy. He's alive and my friends are dead. This is true. This will always be true. Even if I die. Even when I die.
Hallaloo (It's Hallelujah)
-We found her, Cadet Shriek. Is there anything else do you might need help with?
-No. Thanks guys, I can take over from here. Granny, why do you keep on doing this? Are you trying to make me look bad?
-Oh hush, I can sleep where ever I please. I'm a national hero, *hic* and you are a lowly, lowly cadet ridding off my coat-tails.
-More like a national loony.
-Whatcha just say to me, Fleet?
-Does it really matter? Whenever you get into these moods of yours, you say a lot of mean stuff to me that you don't even remember later. I'm only getting you back, Un-Granny.
(I do remember.)
-Horrible little boy.
-Right back at you... Except... you're a girl. Uhhh... old mare! Horrible old lady. All you need is some old cat urine to complete the look.
-Ha ha ha, Left Foot. Joke's on you, I look the same as I did when all my friends have died. It was terrible-
-Oh god no Un-Granny, don't start-
-We got separated by another cave-in after Twilight woke up.
-The Princess says your friends aren't dead.
-Celestia is in denial. Anyways, I got pulled upwards because of a opened...What do you call them... Heat draft?
-How can you talk that way about Princess Celestia!
-Princess Celestia won't let me die.
-My history books have told me-
-Your pretty little books are wrong. This whole place is wrong. It's not right. It's not right at all!
-Un-Granny, you're not in your right state of mind.
-Of course, I'm not! It been 400 years since that day and Celestia won't let me go. There's probably something wrong with her too! Her and Luna.
-Who?
-Are you daft! I said, Luna, The Princess of the Night, the Sandmare, The Walker of Dreams etcetra, etcera. Celestia should have quit after what happened when Luna tried to fight In-Cant... I don't remember.
-There was never any Princess of the Night. It has always been Princess Celestia ruling over the boxed sky.
-What? Boxed? What are you-
You know this, Equestria is flat all the way around. You go too far and you fall off. Basic stuff. Un-Granny just take your pills, already. I don't like seeing you like this.
-Who are you?
-I'm your great-great-great grandson Fleet Shriek. We, as you and me, came to Canterlot Castle to get your prescription from the Princess.
-I don't have any grand-children.
-Are you serious?
-.......I'm-
-Can I get some help over here? Please! Something weird is happening! Grandma, are you okay? Grandma!
-Ha..... Hallaloo...
-Somepony get the Princess!
-...Lull-si-nating... Hallucinating.
-I think Grandma needs a stronger dose!
-I'm hallucinating.
-Hello Fluttershy. Time to wake up and tell the truth. Your friends aren't dead, are they?
It's best that I keep on thinking my friends are dead. She might find them. They are dead. Nopony is coming to rescue me.
Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. Why do you keep on lying? LYING. LYING. YOU FREAK. YOU WORTHLESS PONY. YOU LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. STOP LYING. I'LL TAKE IT ALL FROM YOU. Watch me. Watch me, Grandma. I'll take it all. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. STOP FUCKING LYING! LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR.
I WANT SO MUCH AND YOU WONT GIVE IT TO ME!
Ripple Coy can't remember, can he? I won't let him. He's mine now. You can't have him back. Mine. Mine. My angel. He must stay in his coma.