The dirt I was sitting on got increasingly cold as the sun began to slump down in the sky and left its shadow. I wasn’t sure how long I had to wait but I always could tell when he would come. I glanced back over the gate and at the barn by the orchard but didn’t catch sight of him. Maybe tonight he wouldn’t come.
Another uneasy sigh came out as I turned back around. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Refocusing my attention down at the dirt. At least it wasn't gravel. There weren't as many light rays coming down on it. All of the little rays came from further down the road. Out into the distance, the sun slowly fell down behind the horizon.
I really didn't want it to go. The sun always did leave me, though, whenever I asked it to stay. Upon my plea for Celestia to hold it up for just a little longer, it grew dimmer and colder.
He still wasn't there behind me but that just wore my integrity further. Both of my thighs started hurting and I realized I was holding them. It had been around an entire year since it happened yet I could never prepare myself for even one of our evenings since.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I don't really have to think about it. Everypony used to call me slut but now it's fatso. I'm really lucky to have them to tell me that so I know why they hate me. They call me fatty, slut, lazy, weak, miserable, panicky, and stupid...I just call myself Fluttershy.
The darkness soon overwhelmed the last bit of light that tried to shine. Soon enough, it became pitch dark except for the few homes and shops in Ponyville. I'd run to any one of those lights had I not been so scarred.
I couldn’t see anything in the darkness. No day was I ever ready for this. A twisted smile stretched my face as my heart sounded in my ears and cramped my chest. I desperately wanted to hide but all I managed to do was fold into myself. It was time.
I couldn’t get up. I just listened and waited until a familiar sound came. It drew closer from the other side of the gate. My mind sat still as I heard it coming. Even though it wasn’t cold, I still shook.
His hooves idly trotted over and stopped at the gate. It opened then closed and he walked out. Around a foot or from me he stopped. For a moment it was silent again. Maybe if I stay down he won't see me.
"Fluttershah, are yah out here?" a throaty voice called out. I stayed silent. By the sound of his stomping, he was looking in all directions. "Fluttershah, where are yah?" A stomp smashed the dirt right by my ear. I squeed a little. He sighed seeming exhausted, "If you aren't here then that could only mean that ya'll are dead. Poor little critters at your cottage. They'll slowly perish without yah. Ah guess the kind thing to do would be to put them out of their misery right now."
Catching his hoof before it let up, "I-I'm here, honey!" Putting my hoof down on the floor to get up. Something matted down on my mane and got all of my hair by the base. Before I could get up, he raised me up. He was also quick to cover my mouth but I still yelled through it.
It took a few yanks but I finally shut myself up. He brought me close so that we could see each other. "Why would yah hide from me, sugar cube? That really hurt mah feelins." With his hoof he held my chin in place then renewed his grasp on my pink mane. Without hesitation, he began rotating my head while twisting my hair the other way until I frantically screamed.
When he was he was done he threw me at the ground to sob. "You are MAH mare and you will do what ah say!" A hoof went around my back and picked me up to my weak hooves. I wined helplessly which he slapped me, "STOP CRYIN! Sweet Celestia, am tryin to have a nice date but yah won't shut your trap. Why is it that the only time your mouth is opened you are either loading up on cake or making foal noises?!"
I stared at the ground for a second. I finally nodded, "huh huh." The feeling of his stare hovered on me for another minute or hour until finally he calmed down.
"Alright," he sounded a lot calmer. I got to my hooves. Big Macintosh regained his composure and idly walked over to me. Going around me to my hind and came around to my other side. A big hoof tried to go around me and pulled me closely. He stretched his hoof across my back. He kept trying to get around me even just a little bit while I sucked it in. Finally, he gave up and just rested his hoof over me.
"Yah do know that yer gettin mighty big for a mare. Heck, even for a pony," he said as he pocked around me. "Well, at least it does come with some advantages," as he ran his hoof down to my rump and began rubbing it. His hoof let up then came down hard with a smacking sound that scared me. He laughed then nudged me forward. "Don't worry, sugarcube, we can have fun with that later. We have to get goin if we're gonna get there on time. Come on."
We began our walk down the road. He kept pulling me closer while having his own fun with me. It always amazes me anypony can like my like this. I personally don't like him having fun there but at least he doesn't hate my fatness. I can never tell him why I began eating so much. I don't want him to do it again.
It does amaze me, though, how anypony can find this attractive. Every other pony is disgusted with me. Big Mac is always kind enough to help me find a place to hide when he talks to them. Big Mac is a good pony. I don't know why I get so scared when I see him. I guess I'm just too stupid to oblige.
Before I knew it, we passed a vacant stall. I looked up and realized that we were already down the road and in the market. Big Mac put my head down then back across me. It didn't really matter though because soon we'd be at Sugar Cube Corner. I held my head down stiffly and locked my stare at the ground.
While we walked he stroked my bottom harder. He kept getting closer and closer to me. A chill went up me. There were noponies around either. He glared down at me angrily. I soon realized that I was shaking too much so I stopped and he looked on. At once he continued his exploration of me.
Luckily, though, the lights of Sugar Cube Corner came close enough for me to feel at ease. Even if they hated me, at least I won't get hurt there.
When we got close to the door he stopped us. I kept my stare down while his focused on me. "Now, ah don't wanna see yah eatin all of the food. You will stand by my side the entire night unless somepony wants yah and don't speak unless spoken to, nopony wants some tub of lard breathin on them. Do ah make myself clear?"
I nodded and we went on to the door. Loud party music came through the door. Big Mac knocked on it a few times then we stood in wait. That instant, he seemed to remember something. "Oh, and one other thing. If yah so much as look at Pinkie ah swear that ah will beat you. Am ah understood?"
I gulped and shriveled down. The door came open just as I nodded back.
That pink pony opened it ecstatically. She jumped out and hugged us, "OH MY GOSH! I CANT BELIEVE IT'S YOU TWO! The party was really boring until you guys showed up! Well, not really, but it is your party after all. OH MY GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT!" She pulled out two random party hats from behind her back and put them on both of us at the same time. "It's your guys' super special day!" Pinkie Pie pulled us in to the wildly decorated store where Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Apple Jack, and Rarity were.
Pinkie Pie seemed to instantly forget about us in her own excitement and hopped around the place then into a kitchen. I didn't even get a good look at her . I lifted my hoof up to walk over to them with Big Mac but he let go of me and knocked me over with his butt then walked over to greet the group. I looked at Big Mac but he didn't see me.
Big Macintosh got warm greetings from them then began talking. I sat there like an idiot just starring at the group. I am an idiot, that's why they all hate me. I haven't talked to them in a year since it happened but Big Macintosh still tells me what they call me.
They conversed for a while. I held my hooves together, uncertain of what to do. Rainbow Dash looked up from the group and saw me looking at them, turning my stair down at the floor. Rainbow took herself out of the group and approached me.
Before she could call me anything, I got up and retreated to the opposite end of the room. Luckily, there was a snack table in the back corner. The table cloth draped down over the edges and hid the legs. I quickly pulled up the sheet and crawled under. The sheet fell down as I went in. Fitting my body under there was surprisingly easy. I had to hunch which made it hard to breath but it had enough room for me.
I scooted as far in as I could go. Turning myself around then leaning against the wall to catch my breath. There wasn't any shadow through the thin sheet. I brought my knees up and watched. I couldn't hear them too well from over here but I had an idea of what they were thinking of me.
I wasn't very well hidden either. The table cloth did meet the floor in front but above me there was an empty gap between the wall and table. If Rainbow Dash was mad at me then she could spit on me. There was no way the table could be moved from here but I could try to pull back the table cloth.
I awkwardly maneuvered my hoof of the floor then rotated my shoulder. I scooted to the side so I could reach up and feel over the table. My hoof hit some glass thing, bread, and other stuff until I found the cloth with the tip of my hoof. My face pressed against the table as I reached for it. Finally, the edge of it was in my palm. In one motion I took hold of it and pulled. My arm skidded against the edge of the table as I tried to lift it up. Eventually, the heavy cloth began to pull down. The cloth finally came over the edge. I kept pulling until the gap was covered.
I sat down with a smile. I did it, nopony could get me now. The draping cloth in front of my wasn't on the floor completely but it was only a few inches. Aside from my legs and maybe rump, I was invisible. Little giggles came out but I controlled myself.
Nopony would be able to see me ever again. Well, unless somepony wanted a snack then they might find me. Wait, snacks? Oh dear, I forgot to eat today. I reached my hoof over the table again until I touched something moist. I took and brought showed it to myself over the table. It was an apple slice. It was just one apple slice which probably wouldn't do too much harm but I still put it back.
I felt around again. There was something soft, no, spongy. It was crumbly and part of it was even softer. I took it and showed myself a slice of carrot cake. The smell of it made me sick. I stuffed my mouth with it and roughly swallowed it. I reached up by the same area it was an found another. I stuffed that in then another and another. I was already nauseous by the fifth slice but I had to suck it up and deal with it. I shoved it in and gagged a little so I had to choke it down.
Finally done, I wiped my face then laid down exhausted. I hate cake. My stomach stretched fatter and hurt more. Only a few more months left and I can stop but for now I need to do this.
The cloth in front of me flew up. An involuntary squeak came out when I covered my face and tucked in my legs. It was Twilight Sparkle. She hated me most of all.
"Hey, Fluttershy..." she said quietly. Pushing myself to scoot back to the wall and made a little sound in reply. Twilight poked her head under then partially let herself in. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"...h-huh huh," I pressed against the wall. With that, she let herself in and found a spot next to me. Twilight shifted for a second then was quiet. She stayed silent for a moment. My ears went back while an anxious feeling built up. Twilight was going to hit me.
She scooted closer to me and leaned in. I yelped then cowered. "Whoa, Fluttershy, are you okay?" Huh huh. "Fluttershy, you're shaking, what's wrong?!" Huh huh. "Fluttershy, please answer me. Why are you so scared?!" Twilight made and attempt to role me over but I pulled back as hard as I could.
"DONT HIT ME" I begged, "IM SORRY! PLe..." Something pulled hard down at my throat preventing my from talking. I coughed up, "DONT HATE ME!" getting up out of my spot. Before I was fully to my hooves I was already taking off to run and smashed nose first into a metal bar and fell back on the ground. The entire table came down on us. I squirmed out as fast as I possibly could and ran again.
As fast as I could, I looked through the blur for the door. I couldn't see anything except blurry. My heart stopped as I kept choking up. I wiped once and a black patch from the floor went up the wall. While I raced out, everypony called for me. They were mad.
I went through the door and into the night. Behind me they called and ran but I ran faster. After a few yards a random thing got smashed under my leading hoof and made it falter. The other front hoof crashed into it which made them both collapse. I flew down and smashed against the ground.
I stopped on my stomach but quickly got to my back. The ponies' s call got closer and scarier. I needed to hide. I wiped my eyes off then looked around desperately. The closest thing was a pile of hay. I crawled to the bottom of the pile then plunged myself into it. The straw stabbed my face so I kept my head down. As I crawled foreword, my back and wings got cut while my front and face scrapped against the floor. I kicked and pulled in mercilessly.
By the time I got my hooves under, the sound of the mares through the hay. The muffled sound went around the hay stack. Part of my hoof was poking out but if I pulled it in, they might see the entire pile shift. I don't think I've ever been anymore grateful to be a yellow furred mare.
The voices stormed the area in every direction. Each voice was in search of me. Their shouting kept getting louder and louder as they searched. It was too muffled to decipherer what they were saying but I knew what they wanted as they yelled. They wanted revenge.
The voices began fading out as they began their search elsewhere. It wasn't until they were all gone completely that I slowly regained control of my limbs. They were gone. They were gone. At the same time, I began choking up in sobs.
They hay pile responded by getting heavier. The humongous pile got pushed out little filly cries. It wasn't until my face was getting smashed against the ground that I realized the hay was literally getting heavier. The hay shifted up from my face and came back down heavier on my back. As the pony began sinking in, I got crushed harder and harder, gasping for air. Their hoof came up from by my hind leg and crushed back down with the other hoof on my back, forcing my lungs empty. My ribcage felt like it was breaking like glass.
As I began to lose consciousness from the pain, the pony finally jumped off. A deep throaty voice came in muffled through the hay. At least it disappeared quickly. I felt like crying but every time I did, it was just a painful jolt. For a long time I couldn't breathe and when I did it hurt too much to try.
A wetness dripped down between my legs and to the ground. I must've relieved myself but that was my least concern. It was too much. Everything was too much. I want to die so badly right now but I can't, I just have to hold out for just a bit longer.
Soon I became light headed but I also realized it on time and shook it off. I can't stay here. I need a doctor. I sure don't want one but I need to stay alive.
Biting my lip I raised my right hoof. At the same time I did that with my other arm and spread my legs out which surprisingly didn't hurt until I tried to curl. That wouldn't get me anywhere. My face started getting heavy again so I took in some air regardless of the pain and began doing a reverse swim.
The hay moved easily at my whim and scattered. I can't get out if it just so easily does this. The only exit was so close, yet so far. I was going to be stuck here. Ponies take hay off the top, it'll be days or even weeks until somepony finds me. Death is staring at me in the face.
My head sank into the ground. Just as I was ready to accept my fate, I remembered. No. It can't end like this. In a few months it can but for right now it can't.
I gulped down every ounce of strength I had and began arcing in my back. While doing that I pulled in my hooves and pushed out as much as I could. I kept pushing out until finally, my rear poked out. With my hind legs, I planted my hooves on the ground and rolled backwards into a sitting position. I fell and landed on my back which made me lose my breath again and I cried painfully.
I don't know if I was crying because it hurt or because I was out. It didn't matter, soon they would return and find me here. Even if none of my old friends would, I know that Big Mac would finish me. I couldn't stay.
After a lot of shrieks and pain, I finally got up to my knees. Eventually, I was able to turn myself around and began crawling back to the shop. I went as fast as I could to get there but I knew that with each crawl I took, I cried more but not from the physical pain.
Some familiar sounds began echoing in. I shook my head but it stayed and got louder. Behind me were the girls.
As soon as they came close enough, I let myself fall to the ground and lose consciousness.
Waking up didn't happen quickly. There were a series of me trying to stretch, hurting myself, then falling back asleep. It wasn't until I realized that my room smelled weirdly fresh that I decided to open my eyes. Instead of seeing all of my animal friends lined up awaiting me to prepare them breakfast, I found myself in a wildly pink room with streamers and balloons everywhere.
The events of the previous evening came back to me. This was Pinkie's room. Wait a minute. I looked around more eagerly around the place just to make sure it was true. It was Pinkie's room! Wait. My eyes widened as I looked down at the covers. This is Pinkie Pie's bed. An excited eep came out as well as a crooked smile.
I was in Pinkie Pie's bed!!! The covers were so soft and warm. Pressing them to my face. After inhaling the sweet smell a fuzzy feeling sent chills through me. This couldn't get any better.
Almost as if the universe heard me, the door came open and a pink mare came in. My smile exploded out. I hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
She cocked her head to the side and smiled kindly, "Awe, you look so nice when you wake up. Good morning, sleepy head!" Instantly, she began hoping around the place making me laugh. Pinkie Pie is silly.
"h-Hi, Pinkie Pie," Bundling up tightly to her blanket as I watched her.
She eventually hopped up onto the bed. She sat down on the covers while got embarrassed and pulled them over my face. The bed dipped in which meant she was leaning in. By the movement on the cover, I knew she was sneaking over to me. I kept giggling and covering myself with the blanket as she crept up.
She jumped on me out of nowhere and began tickling me. She was hurting me a lot but I didn't care, I was happy. While her legs were planted by mine and her arms were up here I took my opportunity and kicked her legs out. As soon as she fell on me I wrapped my arms around her side and held her.
She laughed and tried to escape but then realized I was hugging her and gave me one to. Her fur was so soft and felt good on my face. Her whole body was just filled with warmth and love. I was in her bed and we were hugging. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Pinkie Pie let go a little and brought her head out to look down at me. She opened her mouth to say something but then stopped and asked, "Are you crying?"
I wiped it off quickly then denied it. She laughed and I did to. "You sure did perk up pretty fast! Yesternight you were a droopy woopy and today you're a happy pappy!"
I nodded in agreement. Pinkie Pie is the only one I know is nice. She got up from the bed and went to the door. She called somepony and then hoped back over to me. I curiously looked up.
"Now, I know your one year anniversary last night wasn't the best," Pinkie Pie said. Big Macintosh came into the room. Pinkie Pie did a series of cart wheels around him, "SO I HELPED RESERVE THE ENTIRE DAY FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO BE TOGETHER!"
"Come on, Fluttershah," Big Mac said with a still face as he gestured with his hoof. "Ah think you and me should have some alone time together."
Pinkie Pie laughed, "Oh, come on, Big Mac, just a second ago she was my love bug and you're already taking her from me?"
Pinkie Pie hopped passed him snickering. He starred directly at me for a minute. He didn't say or do anything. He just slowly grinned. I stared at him, aimlessly. That was the same look he gave one of my bird's right before he killed them. He was giving me that look.
Pinkie hopped passed again and she actually caught his attention. He glanced between us.He didn't give her the same look, though. I looked at Pinkie Pie for a second. It hit me what he was about to do. I shook my head and he nodded.
"Hey, Pinkie Pie," he smiled at me.
"Yep Yep?" she kept bouncing idly.
"Would yah like to hear a little somethin about you and Flutters here?"
Pinkie Pie nodded as she hopped like a bunny. I was on the verge of tears.
"Well, yah know how am her special somepony? Well, It turns out that she has another..."
Pinkie stopped bouncing. She looked at him acting confused, "Wait, what?"
"Yep yep," he laughed, "She's also pretty fond of mares to. Specifically you. She talks about yah, she has pictures of yah, she does a lot more with your cupcakes than eatin them, she records yah, and she makes me wear a pretty pink wig when we're gonna buck. Oh, did ah mention she collects your hair?"
Pinkie Pie looked backed at me. Her face was filled with shock and confusion. He's lying, I never did any of those things. My chest started hurting. She tilted her head at me. I started crying and hid under her blanket.
"Ah ah! Look at her guilty face. Now whad yah think she's doin under there? Those are your covers after all," he laughed.
Pinkie stayed silent for a while. When her voice finally cracked, Big Macintosh cut in, "Welp, ah'd love to go on a date but the farm needs me. See yah, ladies." Shortly after him saying this the door creaked open and then slammed shut.
The room was dead silent. I pressed my face against the blanket and wept. My whole face was numb yet it hurt. Devastation pounded mercilessly at my heart. After a lot of nothing, I realized that she was letting me cry myself out. Eventually, I got hold of myself. I curled into the blanket and prepared myself.
Pinkie Pie didn't say anything for the longest time. When I heard her about to, I cut her off, "He's lying..."
She stayed quiet for longer. I choked up and cried some more. I knew she was utterly confused.
"um...well, uh..." she didn't know what to say, "Why did he say that?"
I didn't answer her question. I tried to but I just kept crying. She decided to ask something else, "Is he always like that?" I shook my head. "I said, "Is he always like that?"" her voice sounded more serious. I was about to say no again but instead kept crying.
The bed sunk in and I almost started rolling. Pinkie Pie took the blanket off my face. I tried to hide but she put her hoof under my chin and wiped my face off. I tried to back down but she held my chin up and made sure we had eye contact. She stared at me intently.
"Is Big Macintosh always rude like that?" I shook my head. She let go of me but still starred. After a lot of hard thought she finally said, "I'll stop asking you that under one condition." she thought it over again and nodded to herself, "I was talking with Twilight last night. She told me that last night when you were under the table Twilight said that you thought she was going to hit you and that she hated you. You haven't talked to any of us in a months. Why did you think she would do that?"
I really didn't want to say but eventually her angry stare got to me. I can't see somepony like her not be happy, "...left...I left you all and my element of harmony. Equestria could've been in peril because of me. I know she got Celestia to put a royal bounty on my head because she was so mad." I shrunk down and began sobbing.
"Uh huh...and how did you find out about this?"
"Big Mac told me-" I covered my mouth. My eyes opened up in horror as I looked up at her.
Pinkie Pie looked angry but kept her cool. She just nodded and sat down on the bed. Her eyes began to shine but she wiped her face and it was gone, "...Fluttershy...that never happened. Twilight misses you very much. If that's why you're so scared to be around us, whatever he says. It's not true."
Before I could respond she asked, "Fluttershy...is he making you be in this relationship?" Her face held true concern. I didn't know how to respond. That isn't what happened. I love him a lot and he loves me. Right?
My face was still as I began to realize. Pinkie Pie went down went down to me and wrapped her hooves around me but even that wasn't enough to warm me up. I felt cold. Really cold. Baby tears went down.
She hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he never bothers you again. I can makes cupcakes if you want." she said as she brought her hoof up to my head and got down to the bed so my head could fit on her shoulder.
"I saw your little straw trail to the hay pile. I also saw that deep impression only Macintosh could make. Are you okay?"
I nodded in response. I was hurt and I may have peed a little but I was okay. Pinkie Pie held me very gently, "That's good...this is a safe place. You can tell me anything. I won't tell anypony. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. If you need somepony to talk to, I'll be here."
Finally, I held her back. She was warm. She was nice. She was soft. She was safe. She was Pinkie Pie. I needed help with this to, "pinkie..." she looked down at me. She wasn't mad that I was telling her. I could tell her, "...im...im pregnant..."
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened. "Whoa...did you tell him?" Instantly, I started crying again. "Hey..." she shushed me and stroked my mane, "I'm sure that if you tell him then it'll-"
"NO! He does I don't want him to do it again. Whenever I tell him he does it!" Ii started breaking down.
Pinkie Pie was stared blankly at me while she processed what I had just told her. She said something under her breath then smiled, "Hey, don't cry. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here now," she said kindly. "Would you like to hear one of my secrets?" she looked behind herself then leaned in closely to me. She whispered, "I kind of like mares to...you specifically."
I need to stop crying, I'm hearing things wrong. I wiped my tears then got hold of myself. "Wait...what did you say?"
Pinkie Pie tried to hold back her grin, "I like you, Fluttershy. I love you! I always have loved you and I always will. You are the nicest pony I have ever met. Only you would go through all of this and still be sweet and beautiful. I don't know all of the details of what you went through and I'm sure you don't want to talk about it but I can tell you're a survivor! You go through all of this for no personal reward. You just do this to keep that foal safe. You are a hero! I want to be with you. I want to help you raise a foal."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Nopony ever said anything like that to me before. I just...I just didn't know what to say. My heart melted with pure joy. I got chocked up a little, "I love you to! Let-let's have a foal!!!" I couldn't believe I was saying this to Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie had just about the same reaction as me. She nodded as tears went down her cheeks to.
Pinkie shrugged and laughed, "We're in love!" I laughed to. She brought her hoof down to my stomach, "Can I feel our foal?"
I nodded ecstatically, "Of course you can!"
She starred up at me for a second smiling then brought her hoof down. When she touched her spot, however, her smile faded. She starred off for a second the slowly back down at her hoof. Her face was filled with horror.
"What's wrong, Pinkie Pie?"
She just kept starring down, "...you...you didn't pee last night..."
"Huh? I asked confused and a little scared. Pinkie Pie helped me sit up. I looked down at what she meant. Coming down from my mare part were two separate trails of crusted on blood that ran down my inner thighs and ended at my knees.
