Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Facelessby Queue de SpoolChaptersSo You Want to Know.Well, I'll Tell You.You Need to Listen Carefully Because...Fear Is the Mind Killer.So You Want to Know.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue So You Want to Know. "So you want to know." It's only been a month and a half since Princess Twilight ascended to the throne, and it's only been a week since the Elements were resealed into the Tree of Harmony. I was hoping I could delay my conversation with the new Princess for several decades so she could lose her idealism, but the rapidity of events has forced my hand while she is still young enough to not see me and my kind as a blessing in disguise. "Oh, is that what I think it is? Is it? is it?" I put down the letter in my hoof and glared at the bouncing Discord for several moments, collecting my thoughts before I spoke. "I suspect you had a much more active role in what happened than you let them believe. The Tree of Harmony was doing just fine against your plunder plants, wasn't it?" "You think I'd go through all of that trouble? Just for you?" "Not just for me. I think you want to see if you can ruin Twilight by pushing her too hard before she's old enough to handle it." "Now, that does sound like me, but..." I cringed as I braced myself for the rest of his sentence. He'd only been "reformed" for a couple of months, but already I'd heard this line many times. For a "Lord of Chaos" he could be surprisingly predictable. "I'm not actually reformed," Discord finished. Never mind. I'm too old for Discord's shenanigans. He would probably leave me alone after I showed him his "prize". "So you want to read-" He slammed his nose against my trunk and stared into my eyes with glee. I could smell his rancid, chocolate, cotton candy breath wafting up from his rotten mouth, and I could feel his drool dripping onto my foot. "By my toe jam, I've rarely wanted anything more, you beautiful, beautiful lady. I could kiss you." "Get out of my face, chimera, and don't you dare." He leaned back and shrugged his shoulders before impaling the letter with his spiked tail, flicking it into his hand like a Frisbee, and ripping it open with gusto. I didn't need to look to know it was undamaged. "I've been anticipating this ever since Fluttershy started telling me about her adventures. It didn't take long to realize Celestia was grooming Twilight for ascension, you know. One doesn't simply forget to renew the wards for someone like Sombra." A slight shiver ran down his spine as he said the name. "Leave the letter on the table when you're done. I have preparations to make before I reveal myself to her," I said. I grabbed my saddlebags with my flipper and began walking out of the room. Before I was out of sight, though, I turned around. "You know me, Discord. I only tolerate ponies as long as they're more useful than their trouble. You're a master of walking the line, but don't disappoint me by meddling again." "I wouldn't dream of it, baby cakes!" "We both know that's a filthy lie." Dear Princess Celestia, What's going on? You and Princess Luna were abducted, the Elements are gone, and all we have to show for it is a locked box and a cackling Discord, who won't shut up about how defenseless we are. "Oh, citizens of Ponyville! Did the Princesses happen to tell you the Elements of Harmony are useless now? They didn't? How suspicious! They really should be more transparent with you. Next election vote Discord! His power is eternal, and you always know where you stand with Him: Underhoof and Underfoot!" That is an exact quote down to the punctuation. It would literally be impossible for me to misquote anything he said because he didn't actually say it. He wrote that in clouds above Ponyville, and none of our pegasi can remove them. On the plus side we now have chocolate milk sold in restaurants and bars. I digress. Everyone knows we've lost our main line of defense against threats, like Blue Blood, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Star Swirl's unfinished spells. There's unease, but where's the panic? After we lost the Elements I spent days preparing myself for the panic I was sure Rainbow would cause. You wouldn't think it, but she's a̟̖͎c̺̜̒ͧ̾t̶̘͚̿ͮ̐̓u̴͍͎͐̌a͔͉͕̼̗̗ļ͕͓͚̲̻̤̃̓̈̌̀ͅl̯̥̟͈̰̳ͪͯ̆̽ͤ̚̚ŷ̜̼̒̏͝ ̨̣̰̙̺̹̱̣ͮa̴̖̖̬̹͇̝̥ ̶̮̣͖ͩͩ̽ͧb̲̱̣̥̆͒̎͘į̼̫͍̊̎ͩ̿͋͗g͕̝̋͛̓͑ͯg̢̫͓͖̮̻̥̉͐̒ͫ̈̑̒ě̵͕̺̦̮̟͑̌r̸ͥ ͉̬̟͚͔̾̌̈́̽̎͒̊͢g͂̀̽̀ͪ҉͖͎̯̠̜͓̫o̰̍ͥ̿̂ss͓̝ͩ̕i̦̥̼̻͇̪̒͒p̶̖̳̠̠̽̎̾̄ͦͯ ̩̜̀͆͜t̴̹͔̺̮ͧḥ̜̥̩̜̦̼̉ã͖̫̞̽̂ñͬͮ̓́͊҉ ̛̯͔̻͕̘̋ͫ̍͛͗R͈̊̒̋̓͒̒̈́͟ā͚̱̮̞̻ͫͧ͗ͫ͟r̝̭̬̈́i̡͑͗ͨͤ̍̒t̖̯͈̰̖͚͇̓y͖͇̱̕ i͕͙̲͎ͫ́ͅs͉͋͑̋͗.͓̮̯ͦ Sorry about that, I was dictating to Spike and he took offense when I said Rarity was a gossip. I'd use a fresh sheet of paper, but I used the rest of it making my "Preparing for the Inevitable Panic Caused by Rainbow's Incessant Gossiping" checklist. I used the rest of it in Ponyville, to be precise. That's actually the other reason I wanted to contact you. Can you put in a shipment for more paper to Ponyville? I didn't leave enough for the shopkeepers to do it themselves. I digress. Where's the panic? This is a huge deal, and these are ponies, damnit. Ponies are too skittish to not panic after something like this. Why did I apparently make my PFTIPCBRIG checklist for nothing? The whole town's mad at me now! Your faithful student equal and friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle p.s. Look! I caught myself calling myself "your faithful student" before I sent it this time! I could hear Discord's manic laughter as I packed my bags. I didn't need much, but I felt it would be appropriate to bring a mountain of paper to Twilight as a sign of good will and so she could take notes. I also needed my alarm clock because I slept like the dead, and my... receptacle because pony toilets weren't designed for my biology. The last time I tried to use one it clogged so bad it needed to be replaced. "They drink my chocolate milk! Don't they know how disgusting it is? Glorious, just glorious." Speaking of that, sometimes the excrement of my kind is compared to notably thick chocolate milk. Discord's sense of humor is not know for its taste. I spoke as I slithered back into the room. "Be done soon, I need to send that to Celestia." "You mean she hasn't read it yet?" I shook my head. "No, I've been intercepting Twilight's mail ever since she became princess. She's still too young and unstable for my comfort." "That's revolting! Even I wouldn't stoop low enough to read someone's private mail!" "You're doing it right now." He laughed his grating, annoying, nerve rending laugh. I felt my talon scratching the floor as I resisted the urge to strangle the obnoxious draconequus. It was time for him to leave... "So I am, so I am, Thing. Just let me finish reading it one last time and I'll be on my-" I zapped the letter and gave him the boot. Well, I'll Tell You.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue Well, I'll Tell You. In her chair, in her room, in her tower, in her castle, in her city, in her country, on the planet Elysium, Celestia sat working. She was not working on budgets, taxes, licenses, permits, registrations, legislation, speeches, strategy, tactics, training, or any other kind of bureaucratic nonsense. She had staff to do those things and a bullshit detector finely tuned over centuries to detect when they were being dishonest or trying to manipulate her. Yes, Celestia was a master of delegation, which is why in her mind she was the rightful ruler of the land. She was working on a crossword puzzle with a small smile of delight. She had a cup of steaming tea making rings on the surface of her expensive desk, and the small pile of paper work she actually needed to do was shoved way to the side. To her the simple pleasures were always the best because they never required any extraordinary work or special accommodations to experience. Indeed, Celestia was a creature of habit and routine, which was why she always found Twilight's unscheduled letters slightly annoying. This time she was unfortunate enough to receive two of them. Celestia looked up when she felt magic pooling in her horn, the tell tale sign of Spike's dragon fire. When they materialized she randomly picked one and unfurled it. The moment she recognized the familiar script, however, she scrambled for the other letter and tore it in her haste to open it. The first paragraph of Twilight's letter told her everything she needed to know. The first letter she opened simply read "DON'T INTERFERE". No punctuation, no proper capitalization, just simple, terse language designed to silence any objections. It was a simple message, one she'd heeded many times in the past, and its meaning was simple: Twilight would need to endure without her guidance, advice, or protection. Celestia somberly gazed out her window at Ponyville and sighed. She wasn't really as grand as she liked to think she was. "Well, I'll tell you." Within the hour I arrived in Ponyville, a small town of limited importance and an abundance of apple trees. I was something of a celebrity after I DJ'd the Royal Wedding, so I wasn't surprised when some of the ponies recognized me, but I was relieved when the rustic nature of the town shaded me with obscurity. In spite of the jobs I usually take and how often I end up in the public eye I actually hate dealing with others. None of them can annoy me like Discord, but the simple act of being polite for the simple sake of being polite has become trite at my advanced age. Given the chance I have more interesting things to do than pretend I like ants. Just not more important things. I readjusted my shades as I looked for the Golden Oaks Library. I barely remembered the town's layout because the only other time I'd been here was during the return of Nightmare Moon over a year ago. Truthfully, though I'd never admit it to anyone, I was scared shitless Celestia's little Harmony experiment wasn't going to work. My kind and I would have tried to take her down, but Luna's raw power has always been legendary, even before the Inspiration Manifestation spell amplified her into Nightmare Moon. It didn't take long to eventually find the library, but I had to cross the same intersection numerous times before I spotted it. It was tall, but mostly squat, like the blue mare I saw running the local pastry shop. They seemed to lose leaves and hair the same way, too. ... I knocked on the door. ... I knocked again. ... Was she home? I knocked one last time as hard as I could. I knocked with the tip of my hoof, so it was a loud, piercing sound. It bounced around in my skull like a punch through the eardrum, and it seemed to work. I heard a loud stumbling noise, almost like a pony falling down the stairs, but with less grace than I would have expected. When the door opened the mare I saw was a complete wreck. She had dark rings under her eyes, her hair needed washing and untangling, her horn needed grinding and polishing, and her wings needed preening. When she finally steadied herself she glared at me, which would have been more impressive if she weren't holding onto the door for support. "What. What could be so important you needed to wake me up on a Sunday? A book? The library is closed on Sunday. Sunday's my day off, the one day I get to recuperate from reading books, the one day I get to be dumb. What could be so important. On a Sunday." I sympathized with her. I also didn't particularly care, and I think it's funny when ponies try to be intimidating. So I opened my saddlebags and flung all of my blank paper at her with my magic. "Celestia sent me to answer your questions and make a delivery, Princess. I suggest you clean up this mess before any of it blows away." "I, uh, I..." Twilight stammered. "Oh, there's a slight breeze, Princess. Better hurry!" I waggled my hooves in the air to emphasize the false importance of the occasion. See, this is where Twilight's different than the other Princesses. She still thinks she's just like any other pony, not more or less important. She's wrong of course, but you'd never know by the way she acts, by the way she was currently cleaning up the mess I had made. That idealism was the exact thing I needed to break to get her to reach her full potential. "Why'd you do that, Princess?" "What do you mean?" "You have the authority to turn all of Ponyville into a city dedicated to serving your own castle, and yet you cleaned up a mess I made to spite you. You got no spine or something? Hard to believe Celestia saw anything in you." "I don't-" "Have any excuse. Now let me in, we've got a lot to discuss about your future as a Princess, and so far it doesn't look pretty, just pink," I interrupted. And she stepped aside. I remembered meeting her once or twice when she was a filly and I visited Celestia. She was much more strong willed back then, or she was worse at picking her battles. I'm not sure. Either way she was petulant as hell, but she at least had the confidence a princess needs. A thought for another time, though. I can't change everything about her in a single day, and Celestia or Cadance would be better suited for teaching her poise. Twilight quickly stacked the papers in a corner of the tree, but kept a few separate. "We can begin in a moment. I'm gathering materials for notes." "Very well, when you're ready." "Celestia, we both know what's going to happen to her." "I know, Discord. She's going to learn one of the fundamental aspects of ruling this country." "And it's going to break her dear, little heart when she learns the truth. She's not going to trust you again for a long time when she finds out you were complicit." Celestia stood on the private, ivory balcony of her room, gazing at verdant Ponyville below while Discord lounged at her side. "I'm not stupid, you know, and I'm sure... DJ, that's the name she's using right now, I'm sure she came to the same conclusion." "And I admit it, Celestia. I'll come clean as the day I was synthesized! She wouldn't be going through this now if not for me." "Why didn't you wait? You could have done this years from now, when she'd be less likely to react poorly," she accused. Though normally full of energy, Discord resembled a deflated balloon more than a Lord of Chaos. The most animated part of his body was his hand, which he used to count out his reasons. "Perhaps because I didn't want to risk a misunderstanding putting me into stone again. It's happened before, and it was miserable. Perhaps because I wanted at least one princess to not kowtow to that monstrous Thing. Perhaps because I know you see Twilight as your daughter, plaything, whatever, not just as another of your "subjects". Perhaps because I've tried straight up chaos enough times to know it doesn't work like I always hope it will, which actually makes complete sense in retrospect because chaos is the opposite of cause and effect. Point is I have plenty of reasons for forcing the issue at all, and especially while she's still young and stupid. Take your pick." "So you're blackmailing me?" "No, if I were blackmailing you I'd have hung this over your head like a little, black cloud of frosting. I wouldn't have set things in motion." Discord slowly crept beside Celestia and gently placed a paw on her back in a crude attempt of comforting her, though he wasn't particularly mindful of his claws. "You freed me. Consider this my way of returning the favor, a chance for you to break away from... DJ." Discord said. "It's not that simple. Things have been running this way for millennia. I do not know another way to rule. I depend on her too much." "Then it's fortunate we have a new ruler in the game! If you stay out of my way, if you don't tell that Thing my true intentions, I'll do what I can to help Twilight through this without dying. She'll be a queen, not a pawn. Just don't expect things to remain peaceful for long." "Then there's no way to talk you out of this?" "You know me, I can never sit still for long." The irony of Discord's "joke" caused Celestia to laugh uncomfortably, which prompted Discord to disproportionately chuckle, chortle, guffaw, and giggle. A hint of a smile graced Celestia's otherwise neutral expression, a small epitaph of days and memories long past. You Need to Listen Carefully Because...Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue You Need to Listen Carefully Because... I crashed onto Twilight’s couch and watched her stumble into the living room like a zombie. This was Celestia’s star pupil, too zealous to ration herself to be able to respond appropriately at a moment’s notice. How disappointing, but not without use. Keeping her off balance would be easy. She blinked at me a little bit. I’m sure she disapproved of my filthy hooves being on the headrest. “I’m ready,” she began, steeling her eyes with tired resolve. “You may begin your lecture.” I floated a sandwich out of my bag and unwrapped it as I spoke. “Yeah, no. Not like this.” She blinked again. The way her expression lagged behind her confusion reminded me of a fish. “Huh?” I shook my head and sighed. “You don’t know it, but you’ve asked the fundamental question of what it means to rule. I can’t teach you ‘jack if you don’t know how to think like a ruler.” I jabbed my sandwich at her, sending crumbs and bacon flecks all over the floor. A gryphon would have been offended by such disrespect of their favored delicacy. Her quill floated over her paper. By the way it moved “prerequisite knowledge” was probably what she wrote. “Well, I’m sure I can lear-” “I’m saying you shouldn’t be letting me talk over you all the time.” Her face looked like it couldn’t decide if it wanted to look offended or just confused. “I’m sorry, who are you again? Aren’t you just a DJ from Canterlot?” I dismissed her accusation with another wave of my sandwich. “Yeah, but I’m a DJ sent by Celestia, so shut up and listen.” “Bu-” “No,” I said. “I’m talking. You can pretend to be a ruler when I don’t have more important things to say. You’ve got a fundamental attitude problem, you need to fix it.” Her mouth slammed shut and she recoiled, pulling her ears back like a foal being scolded. I slapped my forehead. “And now you’ve screwed up again! Your problem is you walk like a peasant, you talk like a peasant, you smell like a peasant, you breathe like a peasant, you think like a peasant, and, worst of all, you obey like a peasant.” “But you just told me to shut u-” I rolled onto my hooves and stepped towards her. “And I never told you to stop shutting up.” She took a step back. “What’s the point of this? To abuse me? Is… Is Celestia pranking me again?” Her eyes darted around, but always seemed to go back to a specific corner of the library. Curious. “No, you’re getting a crash course in ruling a country. You were sent here last year to understand peasants, not to become a peasant.” “Well, what’s so bad about being a peasant? All of my friends are, well, they’re not actually peasants because the definition of peasa-” I slapped her lightly across the muzzle with my soggy, half-eaten sandwich. “Pedantry, Princess. Check it.” “I really wish you’d stop interrupting me.” Did she just… pout? She was more pathetic than I thought. “That’s not ever going to happen. I still interrupt Celestia when she talks about useless things.” Twilight opened her mouth, but closed it again. If she had a snide comment, she chose to keep it to herself. “That doesn’t really make me feel better,” she said eventually. “I’m sure it doesn’t. These days I mostly interrupt her when she talks about you.” “I don’t think I like you.” … Har. “Then let me propose a hypothetical situation, Princess. Suppose another pony and I were in danger, but you could only save one of us. Who would you save?” “... What does that have to do with anything?” “It doesn’t. Choose.” “I…” I could see she at least tried to think about it, to figure out my game. “I don’t know.” “You said you didn’t think you liked me.” “And?” “So you should choose to save the other pony unless you happen to loathe it.” I got out of her face and slumped back to the couch. She sputtered for a moment. “That’s terrible! I can’t decide whose life is worth saving more based on my own bias!” “Could you even decide?” I asked. “I-” I slammed my hoof on the coffee table. “Too late.” I leaned back and let it sink in. “They’re both dead.” “That’s not…” Twilight deflated. “Fair?” “Then you slightly comprehend a small portion of what it means to be a ruler. You’re going to need to make choices like this every day, you’re not always going to have useful information, and if you hesitate innocent ponies will die. Being a ruler is not fair.” She was finally taking me truly, genuinely seriously if the sad look in her eye was an indication. “So what do I do?” “You harden your heart.” “But...” “Or else you will become like Nightmare Moon. Luna did not harden her heart. She tried to save everyone, but she failed. She failed again.” I banged my hoof on the table. ”And again.” Bang. “And again.” Bang. “It drove her mad.” “And you know this because…” I could almost hear the gears in her head clunk and whir into action. “You’re not just a DJ, are you?” I smirked. “Ah, what gave it away?” “Well, it-” “Rhetorical question, Princess. Stop being so literal.” I watched her puff herself up like a kitty-cat. A lesser being would have called it adorable. “Going back to to that hypothetical situation, what kind of danger was it?” asked Twilight. “You didn’t specify life-threatening, did you? “Ooh, Princess has some bite. Perhaps you’d like to see what the danger was?” “Wait, but it was hypothetical?” “Well, the part about my being in danger was.” “I’m not sure...” “I had some friends of mine gather some presents for us while we were talking.” Twilight’s fur stood on end when she realized what I was saying and I was serious. When the door opened a grey, pegasus mailmare with golden hair and misaligned eyes entered, dragging two suspiciously large and heavy burlap sacks behind her. “Special delivery for one Vinyl Scratch! Just sign here…” She pointed with her hoof. “And here, and here, and here, and he-” “Yes, yes, I’m sure the post office knows who I am.” I grumbled. She saluted with such enthusiasm that her eyes appeared to rolled around in their sockets, like slots in a machine. “Shoot and doodles, ma’am! You two have a lovely day!” “DJ… What’s in the bags?” I closed the door behind the mailmare. Every other entrance, windows included, slammed shut simultaneously, and I sealed them with my magic. “Go ahead, Princess. Open them. See for yourself.” Twilight crept over to the bags, but she kept her back against the wall and her eyes on me. She slowly untied the first bag, and an unconscious Applejack pooled onto the ground. “The danger, Princess, is Celestia sent a DJ to evaluate you,” I said slowly, watching the terror dawn on her face. “And you are dangerously close to failing.” “What do you want from me?” She kept her voice surprisingly even. I suppose the few villains she’d faced had given her some ability to keep her cool, but not enough. “Open the second bag. You need to know the stakes before we proce-” In a split second the bookshelf behind my head exploded. Twilight was relatively inexperienced with combat magic, so it wasn’t hard to dodge. I pooled my magic in an instant, and Twilight was slammed into the wall, suspended by my will. I could hear her rib cage crack under the pressure, her breathing was labored. Just for good measure I smashed a hoof into her gormless face and shoved the rest of my bacon sandwich into her revolting, herbivorous mouth. She stared at me. I could taste her fear. She trembled as her tears mixed with the blood pouring from her broken nose, and her hooves beat pathetically against me as I leaned in close. I grinned. “That wasn’t smart, Twilight. You need to listen carefully, because...” Fear Is the Mind Killer.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue Fear Is the Mind Killer. “... Fear is the mind killer.” Twilight gagged the sandwich out of her mouth. Though ponies could consume meat safely, it was an acquired taste few possessed. Blood pooled around her lips to give her speech a sick, bubbling quality, and her words were labored under the pressure I applied to her ribcage. “What… You... Doing...?” “We’re going to play a game, Princess.” I levitated Twilight from the wall to the floor. Her breathing became less labored, but I could hear a slight catch whenever she inhaled too quickly. “You’re going to sit there without fuss...” My jaw cracked open at the base, and I regurgitated my serpentine tongue onto her prone form. My saliva and bile mixed into a viscous fluid and coated every inch of her body, forming a mucous-like jelly around her, immobilizing her. “Annd dethide hoow badly you’re going to lose.” She struggled valiantly while I finished swallowing my tongue. Its length slid down my throat and coiled in my belly. Her horn lit up, which caused the jelly to rapidly expand and cover her bloodied nostrils, threatening to suffocate her. “The more you struggle the more the chrysalis will constrict. You must control yourself if you wish to avoid greater tragedies today.” I trotted to the second, unopened bag with a swagger in my step. “After all...” I levitated the bag. “How can you...” I tore the bag. “Expect to save either of these ponies...” I dumped the contents. “If you are dead?” The spike of righteous anger I felt from Twilight when she saw the prone form of Applebloom was intoxicating. “The terms of the game are simple. You will decide which of these ponies will be slaughtered. If you choose like a peasant they will both die. If you choose like a ruler one will live.” I waited a beat. “Decide, Princess. You don’t have much time.” Twilight’s jaw moved, her body writhed, but the only sound she was able to make was a high, nasal whine, almost a screech. Her eyes began rolling into the back of her head as she wasted what was left of her precious air. “What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you,” I spoke over her pathetic whimpers. “It almost sounded like you were panicking! But that can’t be, you’re a princess! Celestia wouldn’t have allowed you to ascend, she wouldn’t have sent me here if you were incapable of staying calm under pressure!” For a brief moment her struggles allowed her mouth to break free. “Celestia would never do something like this!” she gasped before the chrysalis swallowed her again. “Poor, naive foal. Do you think she also wasn’t responsible for releasing Sombra? Celestia isn’t as impractically benevolent as you want to believe she is.” “She... Wouldn’t...” Twilight forced through the phlegm prison. I began walking around the room, circling Twilight like a hunter stalking its prey. “She. Would. I already told you, Princess, you’ll need to harden your heart for the greater good. Celestia did that long ago.” “How… Is… This… Good…?” “It is not “good”,“ I laughed. “It is necessary. Your idealism will cause greater tragedy. In the future… And today.” I slammed my hoof on the floor. “Decide!” “How…? I...” “Because if you don’t I will kill all three of you. A weak princess is a liability. Be the ruler Celestia and I need you to be! Decide! The apple farmer or the filly? Who is more important? Think like a ruler!” I stomped on Twilight’s prone form, forcing a scream from her as I snapped one of her already bruised ribs. “Perhaps you need to talk out your solution.” I smeared the mucous away from her snout, finally allowing her to breath as normally as her broken torso would allow. “What value do these ponies offer to Equestria?” “They… They’re farmers, they make food,” Twilight whimpered. I increased my pressure on her body. “Try again, what do they offer individually?” “Applejack is a farmer, she makes food!” “And the other? What does she contribute?” I demanded. “Food!” “Then where is her “food” cutie mark? Her flank is blank! What does she contribute?” “She helps Applejack!” “She can barely carry a barrel of apples! What does she contribute?” “I...” Twilight’s eyes went wide as she began to realize the meaning behind my questions. “I don’t… I don’t know!” I relieved the pressure on her torso and stepped back. I let my nerves calm for a moment before I spoke. “Then given the information you possess make the best decision you can as a ruler.” “I… But Applebloom is just a filly!” She protested. “Listen to your words. You said “just”. “Just a filly”. Even you already unconsciously recognized she has less worth than a grown, productive member of society.” “This is monstrous… It’s our job to protect foals!” “It is the peasants’ job to protect the foals. It is OUR job to protect the peasants. Now make your choice, I don’t have much patience left for your waffling.” The conflict in Twilight’s mind was visible as the day’s light on her face. Her agony tasted sweet and poignant as she finally accepted the choice she needed to make. “Then… Applejack lives...” she said with resignation. I grinned as I pooled magic into my horn. The feelings of betrayal broadcast by Twilight reached a crescendo as her last hopes of this merely being a test faded. I cast my spell, a light flashed, and only a charred, barely recognizable corpse remained where the sleeping filly once laid. I sniffed the foul air for a moment, the scent of death brought back fond memories. But I could reminisce later, I still had finish my work, I still had to beat Twilight into complete submission. “And now you are finally thinking, in a miniscule way, like a ruler, Princess. Now I can “begin my lecture”.” I wasn’t surprised she was in shock, I had destroyed her youthful idealism in a day. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure she would survive it. This kind of thing had sent ponies into suicidal depressions in the past, and Twilight wasn’t particularly known for her emotional stability. Her resemblance to Luna was uncanny at times, so it was no wonder why Celestia held an irrational fondness for her. She wouldn’t be responsive for a while, so I let her sit in silence as I busied myself with work. I had to cover my tracks, after all. Among other things I incinerated the burlap sacks used to transport the game pieces, I devoured the remains of my bacon lunch, which was made sweeter by Twilight’s saliva and bile, and I evaporated the gooey chrysalis around Twilight. The most time consuming thing I did was scrubbing my magic signature from the building, especially from Applebloom’s desiccated corpse. Eventually I cleared my throat to get Twilight’s attention. She was laying on the ground, mired in a pool of her own filth and pain. The only indication she was still aware of my presence was a slight twitch of her ear, but she was listening. “Your question, you asked why ponies weren’t panicking after the Elements were lost. You’re assuming ponies didn’t panic.” I observed her for a moment, gauging her reaction to my words. She showed no indication of having any investment in my words, but I continued anyway. “Celestia and I decided panic and fear were not the optimal responses to the situation. We needed ponies to remain calm, so we commanded it.” “How.” Twilight spoke in a monotone, detached and unfeeling. “The same way I commanded you to lose your idealism. Through manipulation and force.” “So. You murdered innocents.” “Yes, we did.” I smiled to myself, she was catching on. “To prevent the chaos and destruction of an uncontrolled panic we… disposed the most… Let’s call them “excitable”. We disposed the most excitable ponies whenever they started to incite panic.” “Murder would cause panic.” “After I murdered Applebloom you calmed down significantly, didn’t you? Well, “deflated” and “exhausted” would be a better way to describe it. Regardless, murder isn’t the only trick we use. I also have… friends, who encourage whatever feelings and ideas we determine are most beneficial at the time. That mailmare was one of them, for example.” “Ditzy.” “Yes. From now on she will be my liason with you.” “My brother.” “He doesn’t know. Like you, he is an idealist at heart, but he is most valuable believing his work is just, so he will never be told,” I explained. “And Cadance?” It was slight, but I detected a slight accusation in her mood and tone. “She has known for a long, long time.” “So you did the same thing to her...” I laughed, which caused Twilight’s fur to stand on end. “No. She was simply told. There was no reason to crush her spirit.” For the first time since Applebloom’s death she moved her head to look at me, she bore the pain to move, and she looked me right in the eyes. “Then... Then why? Why did you do this? Why was Applebloom’s death necessary? She didn’t need to die!” I stood up and stomped my way in front of her. Her eyes were big and fearful, but she didn’t have the energy to do more than inch back an imperceptible amount in her efforts to cow from me. “Because you are you, and Cadance is Cadance.” “I don’t understand!” She pleaded. “Your lust for knowledge is insatiable. If I had done nothing you would have discovered the answer by yourself. Until now no one has had the good sense to curb stomp your curiosity or idealism. She died to teach you a simple lesson: Don’t interfere.” “That’s it?” “That’s it, Princess.” There wasn’t much left to say. I had accomplished most of what I needed to do, all that was left was to tie up a few loose ends. “I would assume I shouldn’t need to say this, but you understand you are not to tell anyone about this meeting, correct? You will suffer this same punishment tenfold if you do.” Twilight shot a nervous glance at Applejack and her darkened sister. “Oh, them? We’re going to say you did that. When you are asked you will say you were experimenting with a spell and it went wrong. You will say Applejack was lucky to be mostly unscathed, you sustained serious injury, and poor Applebloom lost her life,” I gloated before I started walking to the door. My form slowly faded with shimmering air as I spoke my last words to Twilight. “I trust we’ve come to an understanding of your place in this world, Princess. Don’t disappoint me.” I left her on the floor, broken in mind, body, and spirit.
So You Want to Know.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue So You Want to Know. "So you want to know." It's only been a month and a half since Princess Twilight ascended to the throne, and it's only been a week since the Elements were resealed into the Tree of Harmony. I was hoping I could delay my conversation with the new Princess for several decades so she could lose her idealism, but the rapidity of events has forced my hand while she is still young enough to not see me and my kind as a blessing in disguise. "Oh, is that what I think it is? Is it? is it?" I put down the letter in my hoof and glared at the bouncing Discord for several moments, collecting my thoughts before I spoke. "I suspect you had a much more active role in what happened than you let them believe. The Tree of Harmony was doing just fine against your plunder plants, wasn't it?" "You think I'd go through all of that trouble? Just for you?" "Not just for me. I think you want to see if you can ruin Twilight by pushing her too hard before she's old enough to handle it." "Now, that does sound like me, but..." I cringed as I braced myself for the rest of his sentence. He'd only been "reformed" for a couple of months, but already I'd heard this line many times. For a "Lord of Chaos" he could be surprisingly predictable. "I'm not actually reformed," Discord finished. Never mind. I'm too old for Discord's shenanigans. He would probably leave me alone after I showed him his "prize". "So you want to read-" He slammed his nose against my trunk and stared into my eyes with glee. I could smell his rancid, chocolate, cotton candy breath wafting up from his rotten mouth, and I could feel his drool dripping onto my foot. "By my toe jam, I've rarely wanted anything more, you beautiful, beautiful lady. I could kiss you." "Get out of my face, chimera, and don't you dare." He leaned back and shrugged his shoulders before impaling the letter with his spiked tail, flicking it into his hand like a Frisbee, and ripping it open with gusto. I didn't need to look to know it was undamaged. "I've been anticipating this ever since Fluttershy started telling me about her adventures. It didn't take long to realize Celestia was grooming Twilight for ascension, you know. One doesn't simply forget to renew the wards for someone like Sombra." A slight shiver ran down his spine as he said the name. "Leave the letter on the table when you're done. I have preparations to make before I reveal myself to her," I said. I grabbed my saddlebags with my flipper and began walking out of the room. Before I was out of sight, though, I turned around. "You know me, Discord. I only tolerate ponies as long as they're more useful than their trouble. You're a master of walking the line, but don't disappoint me by meddling again." "I wouldn't dream of it, baby cakes!" "We both know that's a filthy lie." Dear Princess Celestia, What's going on? You and Princess Luna were abducted, the Elements are gone, and all we have to show for it is a locked box and a cackling Discord, who won't shut up about how defenseless we are. "Oh, citizens of Ponyville! Did the Princesses happen to tell you the Elements of Harmony are useless now? They didn't? How suspicious! They really should be more transparent with you. Next election vote Discord! His power is eternal, and you always know where you stand with Him: Underhoof and Underfoot!" That is an exact quote down to the punctuation. It would literally be impossible for me to misquote anything he said because he didn't actually say it. He wrote that in clouds above Ponyville, and none of our pegasi can remove them. On the plus side we now have chocolate milk sold in restaurants and bars. I digress. Everyone knows we've lost our main line of defense against threats, like Blue Blood, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Star Swirl's unfinished spells. There's unease, but where's the panic? After we lost the Elements I spent days preparing myself for the panic I was sure Rainbow would cause. You wouldn't think it, but she's a̟̖͎c̺̜̒ͧ̾t̶̘͚̿ͮ̐̓u̴͍͎͐̌a͔͉͕̼̗̗ļ͕͓͚̲̻̤̃̓̈̌̀ͅl̯̥̟͈̰̳ͪͯ̆̽ͤ̚̚ŷ̜̼̒̏͝ ̨̣̰̙̺̹̱̣ͮa̴̖̖̬̹͇̝̥ ̶̮̣͖ͩͩ̽ͧb̲̱̣̥̆͒̎͘į̼̫͍̊̎ͩ̿͋͗g͕̝̋͛̓͑ͯg̢̫͓͖̮̻̥̉͐̒ͫ̈̑̒ě̵͕̺̦̮̟͑̌r̸ͥ ͉̬̟͚͔̾̌̈́̽̎͒̊͢g͂̀̽̀ͪ҉͖͎̯̠̜͓̫o̰̍ͥ̿̂ss͓̝ͩ̕i̦̥̼̻͇̪̒͒p̶̖̳̠̠̽̎̾̄ͦͯ ̩̜̀͆͜t̴̹͔̺̮ͧḥ̜̥̩̜̦̼̉ã͖̫̞̽̂ñͬͮ̓́͊҉ ̛̯͔̻͕̘̋ͫ̍͛͗R͈̊̒̋̓͒̒̈́͟ā͚̱̮̞̻ͫͧ͗ͫ͟r̝̭̬̈́i̡͑͗ͨͤ̍̒t̖̯͈̰̖͚͇̓y͖͇̱̕ i͕͙̲͎ͫ́ͅs͉͋͑̋͗.͓̮̯ͦ Sorry about that, I was dictating to Spike and he took offense when I said Rarity was a gossip. I'd use a fresh sheet of paper, but I used the rest of it making my "Preparing for the Inevitable Panic Caused by Rainbow's Incessant Gossiping" checklist. I used the rest of it in Ponyville, to be precise. That's actually the other reason I wanted to contact you. Can you put in a shipment for more paper to Ponyville? I didn't leave enough for the shopkeepers to do it themselves. I digress. Where's the panic? This is a huge deal, and these are ponies, damnit. Ponies are too skittish to not panic after something like this. Why did I apparently make my PFTIPCBRIG checklist for nothing? The whole town's mad at me now! Your faithful student equal and friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle p.s. Look! I caught myself calling myself "your faithful student" before I sent it this time! I could hear Discord's manic laughter as I packed my bags. I didn't need much, but I felt it would be appropriate to bring a mountain of paper to Twilight as a sign of good will and so she could take notes. I also needed my alarm clock because I slept like the dead, and my... receptacle because pony toilets weren't designed for my biology. The last time I tried to use one it clogged so bad it needed to be replaced. "They drink my chocolate milk! Don't they know how disgusting it is? Glorious, just glorious." Speaking of that, sometimes the excrement of my kind is compared to notably thick chocolate milk. Discord's sense of humor is not know for its taste. I spoke as I slithered back into the room. "Be done soon, I need to send that to Celestia." "You mean she hasn't read it yet?" I shook my head. "No, I've been intercepting Twilight's mail ever since she became princess. She's still too young and unstable for my comfort." "That's revolting! Even I wouldn't stoop low enough to read someone's private mail!" "You're doing it right now." He laughed his grating, annoying, nerve rending laugh. I felt my talon scratching the floor as I resisted the urge to strangle the obnoxious draconequus. It was time for him to leave... "So I am, so I am, Thing. Just let me finish reading it one last time and I'll be on my-" I zapped the letter and gave him the boot.
Well, I'll Tell You.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue Well, I'll Tell You. In her chair, in her room, in her tower, in her castle, in her city, in her country, on the planet Elysium, Celestia sat working. She was not working on budgets, taxes, licenses, permits, registrations, legislation, speeches, strategy, tactics, training, or any other kind of bureaucratic nonsense. She had staff to do those things and a bullshit detector finely tuned over centuries to detect when they were being dishonest or trying to manipulate her. Yes, Celestia was a master of delegation, which is why in her mind she was the rightful ruler of the land. She was working on a crossword puzzle with a small smile of delight. She had a cup of steaming tea making rings on the surface of her expensive desk, and the small pile of paper work she actually needed to do was shoved way to the side. To her the simple pleasures were always the best because they never required any extraordinary work or special accommodations to experience. Indeed, Celestia was a creature of habit and routine, which was why she always found Twilight's unscheduled letters slightly annoying. This time she was unfortunate enough to receive two of them. Celestia looked up when she felt magic pooling in her horn, the tell tale sign of Spike's dragon fire. When they materialized she randomly picked one and unfurled it. The moment she recognized the familiar script, however, she scrambled for the other letter and tore it in her haste to open it. The first paragraph of Twilight's letter told her everything she needed to know. The first letter she opened simply read "DON'T INTERFERE". No punctuation, no proper capitalization, just simple, terse language designed to silence any objections. It was a simple message, one she'd heeded many times in the past, and its meaning was simple: Twilight would need to endure without her guidance, advice, or protection. Celestia somberly gazed out her window at Ponyville and sighed. She wasn't really as grand as she liked to think she was. "Well, I'll tell you." Within the hour I arrived in Ponyville, a small town of limited importance and an abundance of apple trees. I was something of a celebrity after I DJ'd the Royal Wedding, so I wasn't surprised when some of the ponies recognized me, but I was relieved when the rustic nature of the town shaded me with obscurity. In spite of the jobs I usually take and how often I end up in the public eye I actually hate dealing with others. None of them can annoy me like Discord, but the simple act of being polite for the simple sake of being polite has become trite at my advanced age. Given the chance I have more interesting things to do than pretend I like ants. Just not more important things. I readjusted my shades as I looked for the Golden Oaks Library. I barely remembered the town's layout because the only other time I'd been here was during the return of Nightmare Moon over a year ago. Truthfully, though I'd never admit it to anyone, I was scared shitless Celestia's little Harmony experiment wasn't going to work. My kind and I would have tried to take her down, but Luna's raw power has always been legendary, even before the Inspiration Manifestation spell amplified her into Nightmare Moon. It didn't take long to eventually find the library, but I had to cross the same intersection numerous times before I spotted it. It was tall, but mostly squat, like the blue mare I saw running the local pastry shop. They seemed to lose leaves and hair the same way, too. ... I knocked on the door. ... I knocked again. ... Was she home? I knocked one last time as hard as I could. I knocked with the tip of my hoof, so it was a loud, piercing sound. It bounced around in my skull like a punch through the eardrum, and it seemed to work. I heard a loud stumbling noise, almost like a pony falling down the stairs, but with less grace than I would have expected. When the door opened the mare I saw was a complete wreck. She had dark rings under her eyes, her hair needed washing and untangling, her horn needed grinding and polishing, and her wings needed preening. When she finally steadied herself she glared at me, which would have been more impressive if she weren't holding onto the door for support. "What. What could be so important you needed to wake me up on a Sunday? A book? The library is closed on Sunday. Sunday's my day off, the one day I get to recuperate from reading books, the one day I get to be dumb. What could be so important. On a Sunday." I sympathized with her. I also didn't particularly care, and I think it's funny when ponies try to be intimidating. So I opened my saddlebags and flung all of my blank paper at her with my magic. "Celestia sent me to answer your questions and make a delivery, Princess. I suggest you clean up this mess before any of it blows away." "I, uh, I..." Twilight stammered. "Oh, there's a slight breeze, Princess. Better hurry!" I waggled my hooves in the air to emphasize the false importance of the occasion. See, this is where Twilight's different than the other Princesses. She still thinks she's just like any other pony, not more or less important. She's wrong of course, but you'd never know by the way she acts, by the way she was currently cleaning up the mess I had made. That idealism was the exact thing I needed to break to get her to reach her full potential. "Why'd you do that, Princess?" "What do you mean?" "You have the authority to turn all of Ponyville into a city dedicated to serving your own castle, and yet you cleaned up a mess I made to spite you. You got no spine or something? Hard to believe Celestia saw anything in you." "I don't-" "Have any excuse. Now let me in, we've got a lot to discuss about your future as a Princess, and so far it doesn't look pretty, just pink," I interrupted. And she stepped aside. I remembered meeting her once or twice when she was a filly and I visited Celestia. She was much more strong willed back then, or she was worse at picking her battles. I'm not sure. Either way she was petulant as hell, but she at least had the confidence a princess needs. A thought for another time, though. I can't change everything about her in a single day, and Celestia or Cadance would be better suited for teaching her poise. Twilight quickly stacked the papers in a corner of the tree, but kept a few separate. "We can begin in a moment. I'm gathering materials for notes." "Very well, when you're ready." "Celestia, we both know what's going to happen to her." "I know, Discord. She's going to learn one of the fundamental aspects of ruling this country." "And it's going to break her dear, little heart when she learns the truth. She's not going to trust you again for a long time when she finds out you were complicit." Celestia stood on the private, ivory balcony of her room, gazing at verdant Ponyville below while Discord lounged at her side. "I'm not stupid, you know, and I'm sure... DJ, that's the name she's using right now, I'm sure she came to the same conclusion." "And I admit it, Celestia. I'll come clean as the day I was synthesized! She wouldn't be going through this now if not for me." "Why didn't you wait? You could have done this years from now, when she'd be less likely to react poorly," she accused. Though normally full of energy, Discord resembled a deflated balloon more than a Lord of Chaos. The most animated part of his body was his hand, which he used to count out his reasons. "Perhaps because I didn't want to risk a misunderstanding putting me into stone again. It's happened before, and it was miserable. Perhaps because I wanted at least one princess to not kowtow to that monstrous Thing. Perhaps because I know you see Twilight as your daughter, plaything, whatever, not just as another of your "subjects". Perhaps because I've tried straight up chaos enough times to know it doesn't work like I always hope it will, which actually makes complete sense in retrospect because chaos is the opposite of cause and effect. Point is I have plenty of reasons for forcing the issue at all, and especially while she's still young and stupid. Take your pick." "So you're blackmailing me?" "No, if I were blackmailing you I'd have hung this over your head like a little, black cloud of frosting. I wouldn't have set things in motion." Discord slowly crept beside Celestia and gently placed a paw on her back in a crude attempt of comforting her, though he wasn't particularly mindful of his claws. "You freed me. Consider this my way of returning the favor, a chance for you to break away from... DJ." Discord said. "It's not that simple. Things have been running this way for millennia. I do not know another way to rule. I depend on her too much." "Then it's fortunate we have a new ruler in the game! If you stay out of my way, if you don't tell that Thing my true intentions, I'll do what I can to help Twilight through this without dying. She'll be a queen, not a pawn. Just don't expect things to remain peaceful for long." "Then there's no way to talk you out of this?" "You know me, I can never sit still for long." The irony of Discord's "joke" caused Celestia to laugh uncomfortably, which prompted Discord to disproportionately chuckle, chortle, guffaw, and giggle. A hint of a smile graced Celestia's otherwise neutral expression, a small epitaph of days and memories long past.
You Need to Listen Carefully Because...Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue You Need to Listen Carefully Because... I crashed onto Twilight’s couch and watched her stumble into the living room like a zombie. This was Celestia’s star pupil, too zealous to ration herself to be able to respond appropriately at a moment’s notice. How disappointing, but not without use. Keeping her off balance would be easy. She blinked at me a little bit. I’m sure she disapproved of my filthy hooves being on the headrest. “I’m ready,” she began, steeling her eyes with tired resolve. “You may begin your lecture.” I floated a sandwich out of my bag and unwrapped it as I spoke. “Yeah, no. Not like this.” She blinked again. The way her expression lagged behind her confusion reminded me of a fish. “Huh?” I shook my head and sighed. “You don’t know it, but you’ve asked the fundamental question of what it means to rule. I can’t teach you ‘jack if you don’t know how to think like a ruler.” I jabbed my sandwich at her, sending crumbs and bacon flecks all over the floor. A gryphon would have been offended by such disrespect of their favored delicacy. Her quill floated over her paper. By the way it moved “prerequisite knowledge” was probably what she wrote. “Well, I’m sure I can lear-” “I’m saying you shouldn’t be letting me talk over you all the time.” Her face looked like it couldn’t decide if it wanted to look offended or just confused. “I’m sorry, who are you again? Aren’t you just a DJ from Canterlot?” I dismissed her accusation with another wave of my sandwich. “Yeah, but I’m a DJ sent by Celestia, so shut up and listen.” “Bu-” “No,” I said. “I’m talking. You can pretend to be a ruler when I don’t have more important things to say. You’ve got a fundamental attitude problem, you need to fix it.” Her mouth slammed shut and she recoiled, pulling her ears back like a foal being scolded. I slapped my forehead. “And now you’ve screwed up again! Your problem is you walk like a peasant, you talk like a peasant, you smell like a peasant, you breathe like a peasant, you think like a peasant, and, worst of all, you obey like a peasant.” “But you just told me to shut u-” I rolled onto my hooves and stepped towards her. “And I never told you to stop shutting up.” She took a step back. “What’s the point of this? To abuse me? Is… Is Celestia pranking me again?” Her eyes darted around, but always seemed to go back to a specific corner of the library. Curious. “No, you’re getting a crash course in ruling a country. You were sent here last year to understand peasants, not to become a peasant.” “Well, what’s so bad about being a peasant? All of my friends are, well, they’re not actually peasants because the definition of peasa-” I slapped her lightly across the muzzle with my soggy, half-eaten sandwich. “Pedantry, Princess. Check it.” “I really wish you’d stop interrupting me.” Did she just… pout? She was more pathetic than I thought. “That’s not ever going to happen. I still interrupt Celestia when she talks about useless things.” Twilight opened her mouth, but closed it again. If she had a snide comment, she chose to keep it to herself. “That doesn’t really make me feel better,” she said eventually. “I’m sure it doesn’t. These days I mostly interrupt her when she talks about you.” “I don’t think I like you.” … Har. “Then let me propose a hypothetical situation, Princess. Suppose another pony and I were in danger, but you could only save one of us. Who would you save?” “... What does that have to do with anything?” “It doesn’t. Choose.” “I…” I could see she at least tried to think about it, to figure out my game. “I don’t know.” “You said you didn’t think you liked me.” “And?” “So you should choose to save the other pony unless you happen to loathe it.” I got out of her face and slumped back to the couch. She sputtered for a moment. “That’s terrible! I can’t decide whose life is worth saving more based on my own bias!” “Could you even decide?” I asked. “I-” I slammed my hoof on the coffee table. “Too late.” I leaned back and let it sink in. “They’re both dead.” “That’s not…” Twilight deflated. “Fair?” “Then you slightly comprehend a small portion of what it means to be a ruler. You’re going to need to make choices like this every day, you’re not always going to have useful information, and if you hesitate innocent ponies will die. Being a ruler is not fair.” She was finally taking me truly, genuinely seriously if the sad look in her eye was an indication. “So what do I do?” “You harden your heart.” “But...” “Or else you will become like Nightmare Moon. Luna did not harden her heart. She tried to save everyone, but she failed. She failed again.” I banged my hoof on the table. ”And again.” Bang. “And again.” Bang. “It drove her mad.” “And you know this because…” I could almost hear the gears in her head clunk and whir into action. “You’re not just a DJ, are you?” I smirked. “Ah, what gave it away?” “Well, it-” “Rhetorical question, Princess. Stop being so literal.” I watched her puff herself up like a kitty-cat. A lesser being would have called it adorable. “Going back to to that hypothetical situation, what kind of danger was it?” asked Twilight. “You didn’t specify life-threatening, did you? “Ooh, Princess has some bite. Perhaps you’d like to see what the danger was?” “Wait, but it was hypothetical?” “Well, the part about my being in danger was.” “I’m not sure...” “I had some friends of mine gather some presents for us while we were talking.” Twilight’s fur stood on end when she realized what I was saying and I was serious. When the door opened a grey, pegasus mailmare with golden hair and misaligned eyes entered, dragging two suspiciously large and heavy burlap sacks behind her. “Special delivery for one Vinyl Scratch! Just sign here…” She pointed with her hoof. “And here, and here, and here, and he-” “Yes, yes, I’m sure the post office knows who I am.” I grumbled. She saluted with such enthusiasm that her eyes appeared to rolled around in their sockets, like slots in a machine. “Shoot and doodles, ma’am! You two have a lovely day!” “DJ… What’s in the bags?” I closed the door behind the mailmare. Every other entrance, windows included, slammed shut simultaneously, and I sealed them with my magic. “Go ahead, Princess. Open them. See for yourself.” Twilight crept over to the bags, but she kept her back against the wall and her eyes on me. She slowly untied the first bag, and an unconscious Applejack pooled onto the ground. “The danger, Princess, is Celestia sent a DJ to evaluate you,” I said slowly, watching the terror dawn on her face. “And you are dangerously close to failing.” “What do you want from me?” She kept her voice surprisingly even. I suppose the few villains she’d faced had given her some ability to keep her cool, but not enough. “Open the second bag. You need to know the stakes before we proce-” In a split second the bookshelf behind my head exploded. Twilight was relatively inexperienced with combat magic, so it wasn’t hard to dodge. I pooled my magic in an instant, and Twilight was slammed into the wall, suspended by my will. I could hear her rib cage crack under the pressure, her breathing was labored. Just for good measure I smashed a hoof into her gormless face and shoved the rest of my bacon sandwich into her revolting, herbivorous mouth. She stared at me. I could taste her fear. She trembled as her tears mixed with the blood pouring from her broken nose, and her hooves beat pathetically against me as I leaned in close. I grinned. “That wasn’t smart, Twilight. You need to listen carefully, because...”
Fear Is the Mind Killer.Formless, Nameless; Ageless, Faceless By Queue Fear Is the Mind Killer. “... Fear is the mind killer.” Twilight gagged the sandwich out of her mouth. Though ponies could consume meat safely, it was an acquired taste few possessed. Blood pooled around her lips to give her speech a sick, bubbling quality, and her words were labored under the pressure I applied to her ribcage. “What… You... Doing...?” “We’re going to play a game, Princess.” I levitated Twilight from the wall to the floor. Her breathing became less labored, but I could hear a slight catch whenever she inhaled too quickly. “You’re going to sit there without fuss...” My jaw cracked open at the base, and I regurgitated my serpentine tongue onto her prone form. My saliva and bile mixed into a viscous fluid and coated every inch of her body, forming a mucous-like jelly around her, immobilizing her. “Annd dethide hoow badly you’re going to lose.” She struggled valiantly while I finished swallowing my tongue. Its length slid down my throat and coiled in my belly. Her horn lit up, which caused the jelly to rapidly expand and cover her bloodied nostrils, threatening to suffocate her. “The more you struggle the more the chrysalis will constrict. You must control yourself if you wish to avoid greater tragedies today.” I trotted to the second, unopened bag with a swagger in my step. “After all...” I levitated the bag. “How can you...” I tore the bag. “Expect to save either of these ponies...” I dumped the contents. “If you are dead?” The spike of righteous anger I felt from Twilight when she saw the prone form of Applebloom was intoxicating. “The terms of the game are simple. You will decide which of these ponies will be slaughtered. If you choose like a peasant they will both die. If you choose like a ruler one will live.” I waited a beat. “Decide, Princess. You don’t have much time.” Twilight’s jaw moved, her body writhed, but the only sound she was able to make was a high, nasal whine, almost a screech. Her eyes began rolling into the back of her head as she wasted what was left of her precious air. “What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you,” I spoke over her pathetic whimpers. “It almost sounded like you were panicking! But that can’t be, you’re a princess! Celestia wouldn’t have allowed you to ascend, she wouldn’t have sent me here if you were incapable of staying calm under pressure!” For a brief moment her struggles allowed her mouth to break free. “Celestia would never do something like this!” she gasped before the chrysalis swallowed her again. “Poor, naive foal. Do you think she also wasn’t responsible for releasing Sombra? Celestia isn’t as impractically benevolent as you want to believe she is.” “She... Wouldn’t...” Twilight forced through the phlegm prison. I began walking around the room, circling Twilight like a hunter stalking its prey. “She. Would. I already told you, Princess, you’ll need to harden your heart for the greater good. Celestia did that long ago.” “How… Is… This… Good…?” “It is not “good”,“ I laughed. “It is necessary. Your idealism will cause greater tragedy. In the future… And today.” I slammed my hoof on the floor. “Decide!” “How…? I...” “Because if you don’t I will kill all three of you. A weak princess is a liability. Be the ruler Celestia and I need you to be! Decide! The apple farmer or the filly? Who is more important? Think like a ruler!” I stomped on Twilight’s prone form, forcing a scream from her as I snapped one of her already bruised ribs. “Perhaps you need to talk out your solution.” I smeared the mucous away from her snout, finally allowing her to breath as normally as her broken torso would allow. “What value do these ponies offer to Equestria?” “They… They’re farmers, they make food,” Twilight whimpered. I increased my pressure on her body. “Try again, what do they offer individually?” “Applejack is a farmer, she makes food!” “And the other? What does she contribute?” I demanded. “Food!” “Then where is her “food” cutie mark? Her flank is blank! What does she contribute?” “She helps Applejack!” “She can barely carry a barrel of apples! What does she contribute?” “I...” Twilight’s eyes went wide as she began to realize the meaning behind my questions. “I don’t… I don’t know!” I relieved the pressure on her torso and stepped back. I let my nerves calm for a moment before I spoke. “Then given the information you possess make the best decision you can as a ruler.” “I… But Applebloom is just a filly!” She protested. “Listen to your words. You said “just”. “Just a filly”. Even you already unconsciously recognized she has less worth than a grown, productive member of society.” “This is monstrous… It’s our job to protect foals!” “It is the peasants’ job to protect the foals. It is OUR job to protect the peasants. Now make your choice, I don’t have much patience left for your waffling.” The conflict in Twilight’s mind was visible as the day’s light on her face. Her agony tasted sweet and poignant as she finally accepted the choice she needed to make. “Then… Applejack lives...” she said with resignation. I grinned as I pooled magic into my horn. The feelings of betrayal broadcast by Twilight reached a crescendo as her last hopes of this merely being a test faded. I cast my spell, a light flashed, and only a charred, barely recognizable corpse remained where the sleeping filly once laid. I sniffed the foul air for a moment, the scent of death brought back fond memories. But I could reminisce later, I still had finish my work, I still had to beat Twilight into complete submission. “And now you are finally thinking, in a miniscule way, like a ruler, Princess. Now I can “begin my lecture”.” I wasn’t surprised she was in shock, I had destroyed her youthful idealism in a day. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure she would survive it. This kind of thing had sent ponies into suicidal depressions in the past, and Twilight wasn’t particularly known for her emotional stability. Her resemblance to Luna was uncanny at times, so it was no wonder why Celestia held an irrational fondness for her. She wouldn’t be responsive for a while, so I let her sit in silence as I busied myself with work. I had to cover my tracks, after all. Among other things I incinerated the burlap sacks used to transport the game pieces, I devoured the remains of my bacon lunch, which was made sweeter by Twilight’s saliva and bile, and I evaporated the gooey chrysalis around Twilight. The most time consuming thing I did was scrubbing my magic signature from the building, especially from Applebloom’s desiccated corpse. Eventually I cleared my throat to get Twilight’s attention. She was laying on the ground, mired in a pool of her own filth and pain. The only indication she was still aware of my presence was a slight twitch of her ear, but she was listening. “Your question, you asked why ponies weren’t panicking after the Elements were lost. You’re assuming ponies didn’t panic.” I observed her for a moment, gauging her reaction to my words. She showed no indication of having any investment in my words, but I continued anyway. “Celestia and I decided panic and fear were not the optimal responses to the situation. We needed ponies to remain calm, so we commanded it.” “How.” Twilight spoke in a monotone, detached and unfeeling. “The same way I commanded you to lose your idealism. Through manipulation and force.” “So. You murdered innocents.” “Yes, we did.” I smiled to myself, she was catching on. “To prevent the chaos and destruction of an uncontrolled panic we… disposed the most… Let’s call them “excitable”. We disposed the most excitable ponies whenever they started to incite panic.” “Murder would cause panic.” “After I murdered Applebloom you calmed down significantly, didn’t you? Well, “deflated” and “exhausted” would be a better way to describe it. Regardless, murder isn’t the only trick we use. I also have… friends, who encourage whatever feelings and ideas we determine are most beneficial at the time. That mailmare was one of them, for example.” “Ditzy.” “Yes. From now on she will be my liason with you.” “My brother.” “He doesn’t know. Like you, he is an idealist at heart, but he is most valuable believing his work is just, so he will never be told,” I explained. “And Cadance?” It was slight, but I detected a slight accusation in her mood and tone. “She has known for a long, long time.” “So you did the same thing to her...” I laughed, which caused Twilight’s fur to stand on end. “No. She was simply told. There was no reason to crush her spirit.” For the first time since Applebloom’s death she moved her head to look at me, she bore the pain to move, and she looked me right in the eyes. “Then... Then why? Why did you do this? Why was Applebloom’s death necessary? She didn’t need to die!” I stood up and stomped my way in front of her. Her eyes were big and fearful, but she didn’t have the energy to do more than inch back an imperceptible amount in her efforts to cow from me. “Because you are you, and Cadance is Cadance.” “I don’t understand!” She pleaded. “Your lust for knowledge is insatiable. If I had done nothing you would have discovered the answer by yourself. Until now no one has had the good sense to curb stomp your curiosity or idealism. She died to teach you a simple lesson: Don’t interfere.” “That’s it?” “That’s it, Princess.” There wasn’t much left to say. I had accomplished most of what I needed to do, all that was left was to tie up a few loose ends. “I would assume I shouldn’t need to say this, but you understand you are not to tell anyone about this meeting, correct? You will suffer this same punishment tenfold if you do.” Twilight shot a nervous glance at Applejack and her darkened sister. “Oh, them? We’re going to say you did that. When you are asked you will say you were experimenting with a spell and it went wrong. You will say Applejack was lucky to be mostly unscathed, you sustained serious injury, and poor Applebloom lost her life,” I gloated before I started walking to the door. My form slowly faded with shimmering air as I spoke my last words to Twilight. “I trust we’ve come to an understanding of your place in this world, Princess. Don’t disappoint me.” I left her on the floor, broken in mind, body, and spirit.
