Author's Note

There will be some lighthearted chapters, or semi lighthearted, in this story as well. This chapter, for example. As always, let me know if you see anything wrong, and I'll do my best to fix it.

Well, Damn.

As I approach the town, following the ponies and being followed by my homie, the reality sinks in. This isn't a dream. I take deep breaths to keep myself calm. Flossy's trying this too, but with a little more difficulty than me. That's when i remember the pack of cigarettes in my pocket, same pocket I keep my butterfly knife. I reach in my pocket, past the knife, and find the cigarette pack, albeit slightly flattened. I pull it out and toss Flossy one, which he catches, giving an appreciative grin. He pulls out his lighter and flicks it on, lighting the end of his, then tosses the lighter to me. I deftly catch it and flick it on, lighting the end of my cigarette. After I take a drag, the nicotine slowly working it's way into my system, the girls turn around with wrinkled noses.

"What 'n the hay are you doin'?" Applejack asks, looking between the both of us, "Y'all smoke? Y'know that's bad for ya, right?"

"This baby righ' 'ere is the only reason I ain't flippin' mah shit right now" Flossy explains, blowing out a cloud of light gray smoke. I chuckle at his antics, feeling better already, if only a little bit.

"Well, could you please stand where the smoke isn't blowing towards us, darling? It's bad for my mane." Rarity asks with an almost whining undertone, enhancing how posh her voice sounded. We oblige anyway, moving to the left of the group.

As we get closer, I see the rustic town better. Most of the buildings looked to be made of wood, save a couple two story homes, store buildings and....a gingerbread house. Seeing this, I nearly choke on my cigarette. A freakin' gingerbread house? What, next they're gonna tell me it's a bake-

"That's Sugarcube corner, the local bakery where Pinkie lives and works!" Twilight explains cheerfully. I'm trying so hard not to laugh hysterically, and Flossy seems to be having the same problem. The ponies we walk by are eyeing us with curiosity, fear, or both. One particular unicorn with a sweet looking mint green coat, two toned green and white hair and golden eyes, started following us, wide eyed.

"I smell a fan." Flossy whispers to me from the corner of his mouth.

"Or a stalker." I reply, making him chuckle slightly.

We continue our tour of the town, passing by a bowling alley (Not even gonna try understanding that one), town hall, Rarity's shop (which looked like a freakin' carousel) and ending at the "golden oaks library"

"This is my home, and the town library!" Twilight says proudly. I raise an eyebrow at this, frowning slightly.

"You live in a library? A building open to the public?" I ask, a little concerned

"She doesn't have to worry! Nopony's gonna try and rob the princess's star pupil!" Rainbow explains, causing Twilight to blush slightly, giving a small smile. I look over at Flossy and nod. At the same time, we drop our cigarette buts and step on them, putting them out.

Twilight opens the door, and the girls (I'm just gonna call them that from now on) lead the way inside. It's kinda dark inside, and I'm immediately apprehensive. I feel around in my left pocket for the M1911, grabbing hold of it. Suddenly, the lights come on, and I whip out the gun, holding it in front of me expectantly.

What I didn't expect was for a group of ponies to jump outta nowhere and yell, "Surprise!!!!" The ponies finally get a good look at us, and some look nervous. There's a banner hanging from the ceiling that says, "Welcome to Ponyville!" I lower the gun awkwardly, thankful that these ponies didn't know what a gun was... hopefully. Suddenly, Pinkie was in my face.

"Did I surprise you? Huh, huh, did I? I planned this welcome party just for you two!" Pinkie says in one breath. Flossy chuckles behind me.

"Well, didn't see that comin'! Thanks, Pink." Floss says, shaking his head slightly at the scene before him, smiling. I just nod, and the ponies start the party. There's a table against one wall loaded with baked goods of all kinds, and a punchbowl. Some kinda techno music was playing from...what was the name again? Sonophone? Ah, forget it. Ponies are talking, some are dancing, others talking with Flossy. I just walk to the wall across from the sweets table and lean on it, watching everything with slightly narrowed eyes.

I feel a tap against my left leg, and look down. My heart nearly melts at what I see. A small, purple-gray unicorn filly with a blonde mane was looking up at me in curiosity. She was probably small enough to fit in my hands.

"Excuse me Mister, what are you?" she asks. A pegasus mare from the crowd with the same mane notices the little filly and walks toward me.

"Well, me and my friend are humans." I say, trying hard to keep my face expressionless. She tilts her head.

"What's a hoo-man?" she asks adorably, and I can't keep my poker face any longer. I smile down at her and reply, just as the pegasus mare, possibly her mother, reaches me.

"Think about it like hairless monkeys." I suggest. The pegasus, who I see is wall eyed, scoops up the filly in a hoof, causing her to giggle.

"There you are, muffin! We have to go. Now, what do you say to the nice..."

"Human." I finish for her.

"Bye mister hoo-man!" the little filly giggles as her and her mother walk away. I smile at the two ponies, enjoying my time here already.

+++++

Night finally arrives, and most of the ponies went home. Flossy is passed out on the couch, exhausted. Truthfully, I'm tired too. The only pony left in the house is Twilight.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, guys." She says, giving a yawn as she ascended the stairs. I flick out the butterfly knife and begin cleaning my nails. It's amazing how dirty they've gotten traveling to another dimension, and having a party thrown for us. After the nails on my left hand are clean, I switch hands. I flick the knife closed with a *whir* *whir* *chink* and pocket it.

Maybe I should hit the sack, too. I go and lay down behind the couch, thinking of everything that happened today.

"Surprised I haven't gone crazy yet." I murmur as I fall asleep, the last thing I see is a pair of golden eyes watching me through the window. I snap awake.

Someone's watching me through the window.