Chapters

Chapter 2 - Your new body and you
Chapter 3 - Perfectly reasonable responses
Side Chapter 1 - How NOT to tame your manticore
Chapter 4 - In the list of horrible ideas, this one is up there.
Chapter 5 - Whoever said making up is fun to do is a damn liar
Chapter 6 - Lich, meet pony. Pony, meet lich. Play nice.
Chapter 7 - Oh right, that's why we don't do that.
Chapter 8 - All in all, it was a good day. Then we hit the bar.
Chapter 9 - I'm not sure if this is better or worse
Chapter 10 - Well, that was less painful than I thought it'd be
Chapter 11 - Shift the way you think
Chapter 12 - Tying up loose ends feels different than I'd thought
Side Chapter - Not an End, but Another Beginning
Chapter 13 - Why is it that making things official is so painful?
Chapter 14 - Time marches ever on and on...
Chapter 1 - Escape from the hospital!
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Chapter 2 - Your new body and you
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 2 - Your new body and you

"You know," I stated, my mouth being one of the few parts of me free to move, "I get the distinct impression you're holding a grudge against me."

I'd lost count somewhere around the tenth form of medical monitoring device that Twilight had attached to my new body. What few actual doctors were present in the building had either aided her, or fled when they saw the look on her face.

Gods, I wish I could've. It all but screamed 'I am going to tie you up and research you, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.' Were it on any other female, it would've been slightly less disturbing. Or is that more? Hard to tell.

"Oh shush," Twilight said, staring at a bank of machinery. "You want to know these results as much as I do."

"Yes," I countered, "But I would think there would be other ways than rendering me immobile with sensors to get them."

She turned towards me and smiled a very creepy smile. "Well, true enough, but those ways aren't nearly as much fun."

"Ah-HA! You are holding a grudge against me! It's that whole arson thing, isn't it?"

Twilight growled a bit at that. "Partially. But this is also revenge for constantly winding me up. And a down payment on everything you're going to do."

"Now what makes you think-"

"You're you. Case closed."

"Ouch, Twilight. Just ouch. For the record, I have had nothing to do with the shenanigans that have happened ever since I became a pony. That's all on you guys. I just want to go home, learn how to walk and such with four legs, and then figure out just how long I have to wait until I'm back to normal."

Twilight sighed. "Which is why it's important we get these readings done now. We'll have a baseline for later!"

My ears flicked a bit at that. Still getting used to having rotatable ears, by the by. Weird as all get out. "Wait. Later? You're doing this again?"

The sound of her chuckling did not fill me with enthusiasm.

So. The baseline.

Not that it was degrading at all for Twilight to get the baseline. Heavens no.

Though I think I would've been feeling cleaner and less violated if I ran through the sewers of Las Vegas.

But I digress. The baseline for my pony form showed only a few anomalies! Which is wonderful, considering the circumstances of getting it. (I am told it took a day and was a long process that sickened doctors to even hear, much less look at.)

Apparently, the anomalies are threefold. What fun. First, my coat. Apparently, it appears to be made of something that is not hair/fur at all. There's a distinct metallic quality to it, which answers the question of 'where did the clothes Typhon made me go.' I can't wait to see what'll happen should I get in a combat situation. Or sufficiently angry.

The second anomaly is my magic. Apparently, there is the capacity for it to be higher than a normal unicorn's power. However, every time it gets past some invisible line, the power gets siphoned off to...well, Twi wasn't able to answer, but I know, or have a theory anyways. My magic in this form is being converted into raw power for my agelessness to turn back into true immortality again. Once I get about...oh, halfway there, I think I'll be able to transform into a human form again and not have to worry about the world shoving me back into this pony body. Could be wrong.

The third anomaly is my hooves. Apparently they don't just look crystal blue. They seem to be made of blue crystals, but not any sort Twilight can identify. They also seem to be natural magic drains - more magic is channeled into my body from the world around me primarily through my hooves. It was while Twilight was stressing over my hooves that I figured out just what they actually are.

She'd taken the monitoring devices off me and was looking at the readout from one of her machines. "It just doesn't make any sense! The crystal of your hooves doesn't match any known types of crystals, and let's not go over the fact that an organic being is producing crystal as a by-product. Or the fact that they're channeling magic into you! Your body just does not make sense!"

I reached out with a hoof and laid it on her...withers? Is that the term? It's where the shoulders would be on a human, anyways. And then I said the stupidest thing.

"Don't worry, Twilight. I'm fairly certain not everything about me or my powers are meant to be understood."

At that, my hoof shone with an inner light, and Twilight tensed, letting out a small gasp as she did so. "Of course, you aren't properly a pony. We'd have to do so many other tests to see if we can isolate your unique magic and see how it behaves as compared to any other unicorn's magic. And those powers called Psynergy, so many tests to do! So much science to be done! But at the end, if you can finally be quantified, it will be worth it!"

She rushed out, and Measured stuck her head in the room. I'd like to think I was giving her my best 'Oh god no' face.

Eureka, the Blade of Understanding, was now located in my hooves. And it reacted to what I'd said. And I'd touched Twilight with it activated by accident.

"Measured," I said.

"Yes?"

I turned to face where the Lavender Terror had gone. "I believe I have made a grave, grave error."

"Yes?"

I nodded once. "Indeed. It would seem young Sparkle was seized by sudden inspiration. A moment of revelation. An 'aha' moment, if you will, once I started talking about how I and my powers were not meant to be properly conceptualized."

Measured nodded slowly. "Yeeees?"

I looked down at the hoof that had been touching Twilight. "It would seem I have located my sword, and what not to say when touching a pony with my hooves, even accidentally. Kindly get me out of here before the return of The Crazed Lavender One."

Measured nodded and hauled me over to a physical therapy room in the hospital. There, I spent an hour, a solid hour, learning how to walk and run and all sorts of fun locomotion maneuvers. The reason why I didn't spend longer there was simple: That was about when Twilight got back.

How could I tell, you ask? Well, apparently, Twilight's been taking Royal Speaking Lessons with Luna. I know these things, you see, because I experience them.

"AURIC FULCRUM, GET YOUR SORRY FLANK OVER HERE AND CAST WHATEVER SPELL YOU CAST LAST TIME! I NEED ANOTHER RUSH OF INSPIRATION!"

That was our cue to get out of the hospital. Fortunately, I could now run...or is it gallop? Properly. So we did.

Were it not for Measured's last-second teleportation, I doubt we'd have escaped Twilight at all. I distinctly recall running across open fields, the sound of wingbeats coming closer, looking over my shoulder to see a flash of lavender, and then we were at the tower, safe, sound.

Right up until Twilight started screaming and banging at the wards, it was bliss. So, ten seconds, really. It's more than I normally get.

I sighed and walked through my ever-changing door, ending up first with Measured's room (not where I wanted to be), then I got my room (not a bad idea, a nap), and then I remembered to ask politely and ended up in the kitchen.

I wasn't in the mood for hay or flowers, and I also wasn't willing to put my new tastebuds to the test with either those or meat. So fruit and veg it is! Fortunately, Measured stocked up recently. How, I'm not sure. I'll have to ask soon.

I munched on an apple and some lettuce, thankful for low enough tables, before I grabbed some water already in a glass and sighed. "Today has been hectic, no two ways about it."

Measured giggled from nearby. "But it'll get better. You're already using your hooves like you would your hands."

I blinked and looked at the glass I was holding. Indeed, I was holding it in my hoof. "Huh. Gonna have to research that. Ah well. It's been a trying day, and though Twi's still out there, banging on the wall..."

I let a particularly loud blast interrupt me, this one sounding like a cross between a lightning spell and Twilight attempting to shout the tower down.

"I feel exhausted and could do with a rest. I'll see you in the morning, Measured."

I walked through the door, remembering to ask to end up in my room this time, and climbed on top of my now-gigantic bed. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.

...What? I've slept through worse than an angry Twilight. I once slept through a damn hurricane. Twilight was nothing compared to that.

Chapter 3 - Perfectly reasonable responses
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 3 - Perfectly reasonable responses

The next morning was peaceful enough. I awoke, stretched, had a minor panic attack about now being a pony before recalling the previous day, and eventually calmed myself. It was then that a need made itself known.

One pressing, urgent, biological, and very, very basic.

Fortunately my door was compliant and took me to the bathroom. Eventually.

...Let's just say that the next indeterminable length of time was...interesting. Interesting is a useable word for me learning how to use my all-new plumbing.

I walked into the kitchen (sans my dignity) to find Measured sitting at the table there, munching on a bowl of cereal. "Morning," I greeted her while rummaging in the pantry.

She nodded absently at me and kept eating her cereal. Once she'd finished, she spoke up. "Does something seem...odd to you?"

I chuckled as I found a few apples and some celery in the cupboards. "Measured, you're talking to one of the only creatures whose oddity is on par with Discord. Please refine your question."

Measured chuckled a bit. "Yes, well...Does it seem like something is missing? It's far too quiet."

I flicked my ears unconsciously and listened hard. "Hmm." I compared the noises of the tower with the noises from yesterday and hit upon my answer. "Yes, it seems Twilight went home at some point in the night. I'd like to avoid meeting her in town today, and I think I know a few tricks. The question is if I can perform them in my new form."

Measured blinked a few times. "You...intend to go out, knowing she might be waiting for you?"

I turned to her and smiled. "My dear, I do have a plan. It'll probably fail horribly somewhere in the middle and require improvisation, but I have a plan."

As I munched on my celery, I could see Measured starting to take a few steps back. Then a few more. "Should...I be worried?"

My smile only grew. "Good, you're learning!"

As it turned out, I could still perform my favorite illusion spell of hiding my very visual presence from existence. It...it wasn't as easy as it had been, the drain on my power was noticeable now. But it was still a small drain.

It got amped up to a slightly larger drain when I applied a filter to both it and a simple Notice Me Not spell, to make it so that only Twilight would be impacted by them. I would be hiding my presence from her completely and totally and she wouldn't think to look for me.

Didn't take me long at all to 'scrape' some residual magic of Twi's from the wards on the walls for the filter. Honestly, I could probably apply said filters for a year thanks to all the residue she left behind from all blasting she must have done.

So Measured and I took a relaxing stroll through Ponyville, during which I learned a bit about what had happened during my two days unconscious.

Apparently, as the only senior member of the CRA left who was studying Psynergy, she'd been promoted to head of that department and had a gaggle of interns she would have to whip into proper researchers. The Academy had undergone a very rigorous review by all the Princesses, and any remnants of Omega's corruption were found, rooted out, and...dealt with. It was apparently a difficult thing to stop Luna from doing the punishing, especially when the other three Princesses agreed that her methods, while outdated, would be most effective.

This news meant a few things: Measured would be studying Psynergy in some fashion or another, either at Newvale or with me, and at least three times a week she would have to stop in at Canterlot to update them on her findings. She might be able to get by on two, but that would only be if it was a really slow week. She would still have to send a report if she skipped a meeting, though.

But it also meant a very good thing: Measured was getting far more bits for her elevated position within the department, especially considering the exotic nature and potential applications of what she was studying. Which explained how she was able to afford stocking the tower while I'd been...unavailable.

"So let me get this straight," I said as we walked through Ponyville. A barely-visible glimmer of gold flashed in the corners of my eyes occasionally, letting me know my selective illusion was still working. "Your job is now to study Psynergy, or, even better, Alchemy, and report your findings back to the CRA. And, of course, to make decent researchers out of the next crop and what's left."

She nodded once at my statement. "Essentially, yes. Fortunately, I have you, a perfect subject for my studies."

I halted and held a hoof up to my forehead dramatically. "Oh, I knew you were only interested in me for my magic."

She coughed and stammered a bit at my (fake) accusation. "That isn't, I mean, that's not-!"

I smiled and walked over before beeping her snout with a hoof. "And that is what you get for leaving yourself wide open, Measured."

She glared at me and I merely smiled wider. "What? Did you think me becoming a pony was going to somehow change my nature? I'm still me, darnit, and I'm going to act like me."

She huffed a bit at that and rolled her eyes. "Why is it so hard to understand you?"

I drew my hoof back quickly. "Hey, careful with tossing those sorts of words around! Until I figure out what will and won't trigger my hooves, we need to be careful."

Measured blinked before nodding. "You're right, but you still didn't answer my question."

I smiled a bit at her. "M'dear, understanding a human is a life-long endeavor. Now come, we have a village to explore!"

Our first stop was the market, where we saw a wide variety of greens, both vegetable and flowers, on display. What had my attention, though, was the apple cart.

Yes, the apple cart. Apparently the Apple family has a monopoly on apple production in these here parts. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Apple family, seeing as how they know what they're doing. It's just...it's a bit disheartening to see that since one family does it so well, no other pony will even try their hooves at it. As far as I know, they have every type of apples along with the mythical Zap Apples, but growing those are extremely difficult. Their growth cycles are...quite erratic. And filled with secrets and fokelore that no pony outside the family gets to know.

...Okay, fine, I was given a condensed history of apples from Applejack. She was mighty pleased to give it when I asked about the variety of apples and if her cart was the only one that sold them. Measured picked up a half-dozen apples for three bits, to replace the ones I had already eaten, and we made our exit, to Applejack's parting call of "Y'all come back now, y'hear?"

I mulled over Zap Apples in my mind as Measured led me along through the town. Y'know, I bet with Psynergy, we could force new strains of apples into being. I'd have to go over what other magical apples there are, but it would help. Perhaps try crossing Zap Apples with-

And that was about as far as my thoughts got before I was blindsided by what felt like a football linebacker going far too fast. I reacted instinctively, and thanks to my time in combat situations, in an entirely inappropriate manner.

Guard, to cushion the blow. Ward, in case of Unicorns. Now, to remove the attacker. It is currently attached, so...Whirlwind!

A miniature tornado whipped around me while I flashed both red and purple. I hit the ground while the one who'd attacked me was peeled off thanks to the wind I generated. A high and bubbly voice spoke up then. "Whoooooaaaaah! I didn't know you could do this, Aury! But can you turn the ride off now? I'm getting queasy!"

I blinked from the ground and looked to see a pink blur caught up in my windstorm. Aw crap, Pinkie! I dismissed the energy powering the whirlwind, and it deposited her on the road, leaving her hardly any worse for wear, save for the fact that her eyes were now spinning. After a quick shake to reorient them, she focused on me and smiled.

"Wow, that was so cool! I was just gonna jump on you and surprise you, but you managed to make a tornado and get me off! Nopony besides a pegasus could do that! It was all Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!"

...Did I mention that this was delivered at about the speed of two to three words a second? And that when she said 'whoosh,' she waved her forehooves around like she was flying?

I had nearly forgotten how enthusiastic she could be. I'm not sure if that was a blessing or not.

"Pinkie," I interrupted.

"Yes?"

"Why did you feel the need to jump on me in speeds in excess of fast?"

She giggled a bit at that. "Silly! Since you've technically never been a pony before now, or had many friends before now, I just had to give you a super-duper-ultra welcome-to-ponyville hug! I'm already planning your welcoming party, and-"

I stuck a hoof in her mouth to shut her up and looked her in the eyes. "Pinkie. I am going to take my hoof out, and when I do, I want you to listen to me, okay?"

She nodded, and I removed the hoof before wiping it on my other foreleg to get the residual saliva off. "Pinkie, until Twilight calms down, I don't think throwing me a welcoming party would be a good idea."

She giggled again. "Silly! She left your tower last night and went to her library, so she's bound to be calm!"

I looked over to Measured and shook my head before looking back to Pinkie. "Tell you what. If you're willing to go check on her and can tell me honestly that she seems calm when you do, then you can throw me a party."

At this, she got this...I don't know how else to define it, but there was a flash deep in her eyes, like I had just set a challenge up for her that she would not fail. "You've got a deal, mister! I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail!"

And with that, Pinkie was bouncing off. I sighed and looked to Measured. "And that's a normal Pinkie. I dread to think what'd happen if she ever got Psynergy, of any element. The laws of physics seem to bow before her, when she doesn't outright break them."

Measured's eyes shrunk to pinpricks as she contemplated the scenario I'd laid out before her. "Oh...that sounds like a bad idea..."

We began walking through the town again, and after a small discussion, determined we would head to Rarity for custom saddlebags for the both of us.

We never made it.

Just after we made our decision, there was a cry of 'GANGWAY!' from down the road, and I was bowled over, again. I could still feel the lingering protection of my earlier Psynergy, so no need to defend myself. It was when I automatically began contemplating methods for counter-attack that I realized something was seriously wrong with my mind.

Unknown threat, heading into the ground at speed again. Possible retaliation involves Quake, Whirlwind, Fros- what the hell am I doing? I'm not in a combat situation anymore! I...oh dear. I think I have a problem...

I picked myself up and shook my head to clear it of the conflict I'd just gone through while trying to place a name to it. Before I could, however, a trio of voices spoke up.

"Consarnit, Scootalo! Ya could at least watch where yer goin'!"

"My sister is going to be furious about this dirt in my coat!"

"Hey, it's not my fault! I didn't see the stallion until he was right in front of me, and by then it was too late!"

At this, there was a tiny poke on my foreleg, and I looked over to see...

Oh sweet mercy. The Cutie Mark Crusaders. My life flashed before my eyes.

...Huh, I didn't know just how dull it was.

Author's Note

Pick and choose your own Dun Dun DUNNNN here, folks. Plenty of options.

Side Chapter 1 - How NOT to tame your manticore
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Side Chapter 1 - How NOT to tame your manticore

Author's Note

This chapter written by recentteen14.

Side Chapter 1 - How NOT to tame your manticore

Fluffy was a manticore, a free thinker, a pony in the skin of a beast, in a way. He was also running for his hide again. His only thoughts could be summed up with "Gotta get away," "Those fillies are crazy," and "Why isn't the town panicking yet." He considered stopping for a moment, before realizing that would be a very bad idea when he heard a shout behind him.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MANTICORE TAMERS YAY!"

How had this happened to him yet again? Let's rewind a little bit, to the day before.

"Tell me again, Bloom, why are we in the Everfree?"

"Ah told ya, we're gettin our cutie marks in forest exploration! Besides, we can visit Zecora if we run into any trouble."

"Rarity is going to be angry when she finds out..."

"Then we won't let our sisters find out! After all, who needs to know?"

Fluffy sighed to himself. He had gone for a walk and had run into... This. Three little fillies wandering into the Everfree was just BEGGING for trouble. He decided to get them home the fastest way possible. He jumped out from behind a tree and landed in front of them, roaring as he did so. This would scare them off... For... Sure?

"Wow, a manticore! Do you think I can keep it? It's awesome!"

This... wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

"Darn it Scoots, you can't keep a Manticore! Do you know what the town would do?"

"Oh yeah? You've got Winona, Sweetie has Opal, and I need a pet more awesome than both of them!"

"A manticore? More awesome than Winona? Winona is the best pet ever! She's part of the family!"

"Girls?"

"Part of the family? Is that what you tell her to rope her into doing your chores for you?"

"Mah chores? I do mah chores mahsel-"

"Girls? I think he's friendly."

At this, Applebloom and Scootaloo turned around to see Sweetie Belle sitting next to the Manticore, rubbing at his belly while his tongue lolled out like a dog. Fluffy initially wanted to keep them out of harms way, but the belly rubs just felt so good...

"Huh. So, do ya think the town would let me keep him if they saw this?"

"Ah doubt it, but maybe we could do it in secret. Hey, we could be..."

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MANTICORE TAMERS YAY!"

Fluffy suddenly felt a net drop on him, and he was place in a wheelbarrow being pulled by a scooter? What the hay was going on!?

"Girls, next time you're going to put something in a net, could ya warn me first so I can get out of the way and not get caught with it?"

"Sorry Sweetie..."

Sweetie grumbled something under her breath, but to her credit she was scritching Fluffy behind his ears while she did so. Were they taking him out of the forest? At least this couldn't be all bad... After all, with three innocent fillies, what's the worst that could happen?

The three fillies had taken Fluffy around the outskirts of the town to a tree house. It was a good sized tree house, Fluffy had to admit. He wondered who had built it for the three. After all, none of them had a cutie mark in construction, so it couldn't possibly be one of them... Right?

"Alright Mister Manticore, we're here! No funny business now."

"Can you two get the net off of me already?"

"But you looked so happy scratching him behind the ears..."

"T-That's not the point!"

Fluffy felt the net be removed from him, and the filly that was trapped with him got off of him. He stood and stretched.

"Why did ya let the Manticore out? How are we gunna get him in the clubhouse now?"

"Ask him nicely?"

"That'll never work! This is a Manticore we're talking about! He won't understand us until we tame him and teach him how-"

Sweetie Belle looked up at Fluffy with wide eyes. "Will you come into our clubhouse with us?"

Fluffy looked at the filly and felt his heart stop, before nodding and climbing into the clubhouse. That filly was dangerous... Good thing she didn't know how to weaponize her cuteness more effectively, or else all of Newvale would be bowing to her.

"That actually worked? OH COME ON!"

"How the hay can you tame my new pet better than I can!"

"I've had a lot of practice with Opal, and I think he should be my pet."

"You've already got a pet!"

"Why not make him the clubhouse pet then?"

"Hey, yeah, that's a great idea!"

"I still say he should be mine..."

Fluffy just looked down at the three fillies, snickering to himself about how cute they were. He would have to go home later, but for now he could humor them. He opened the door and went inside, wondering if there was any tea.

He waited inside for a few minutes before poking his head back out. Were the fillies gone? Huh. They had forgotten about him. Maybe it was because the sun was starting to set. He didn't feel like walking all the way home in the night, so he laid down inside the clubhouse and fell asleep.

Fluffy woke up to something poking him. He tried to wave it away, but it was insistant on waking him up. He cracked open an eye and saw the three fillies from the other day staring at him.

"Do ya think he's dead?"

"Nah, he's our new pet! He wouldn't die that easily!"

"Girls, he's waking up! You know what time it is!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MANTICORE TAMERS YAY!"

Fluffy shook his head a little and tried to go back to sleep. It was too early in the morning to do this...

"Hey, he's trying to go back to sleep! You know what we do to bad Manticores, right girls?"

"Quick Sweetie, hoof over the makeup!"

"Rarity will be angry with us for this, I just know it..."

"Girls, lets get started!"

Fluffy opened his eyes. That was a lot of makeup. THAT WAS A LOT OF MAKEUP. He couldn't move, he had somehow been tied to the wall. He could only watch in horror as the three got started...

The next two hours were blotted out from Fluffy's memory. All he could remember was that he eventually managed to rip himself from the wall and fling himself out the door. The three had started to chase him on the scooter, and they had chased him into the middle of town.

He finally got away... He couldn't hear them anymore. Turning around, he saw that they had crashed into another pony. They were now poking at him. Fluffy was tempted to go back to save him, but he was still in the middle of town. While the chase had gotten him pretty dirty, he still had a lot of makeup on from his encounter with the nightmare trio. He was determined to get home and wash this off before anypony saw him.

Then he realized he was in the middle of town and everypony was staring at him, some in horror, and some trying to hold in laughter. He groaned and wished he could disappear... Wimpering, he tried to make himself as small as possible while looking for an escape - There was only one, and it was towards the three fillies. Time for Plan B.

He ran towards the thick of the ponies in the exact opposite direction of the Crusaders and jumped, intending to glide over them. They scattered, and he spread his wings to glide. Unfortunately, he didn't get much air, and ended up crashing into a house. Shaking his head, he got back up and ran until he was back in the Everfree before collapsing at the edge of the woods. Running from his fellow manticores for hours on end? No problem. Running from the nightmare trio and escaping from the middle of town? Never again. At least he was safe now, even if he was still covered in makeup.

"O-Oh... My..."

Scratch that, there was still a pony around. Groaning internally, he looked up and saw Fluttershy. This brought a small smile to his face, since she was one of the few ponies that wouldn't run from the sight of him, but then he remembered the makeup and tried to hide himself.

"Oh, it's alright... Why not come home with me and I'll help you get cleaned up? T-That is... If you want to..."

Fluffy sighed in defeat. It had been too long of a day to keep running away... He stood up and walked towards Fluttershy. At least the nightmare trio wouldn't be able to get him now... He was safe. Though, the next time he saw them in the woods, he would run the other way. He felt sorry for the pony he had left with them, and while he wanted to go back and save him, it was a bad idea in every way. Hopefully that pony would forgive him if they ever met again, but for now, he couldn't wait to get home.

Chapter 4 - In the list of horrible ideas, this one is up there.
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 4 - In the list of horrible ideas, this one is up there.

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5 - Whoever said making up is fun to do is a damn liar
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 5 - Whoever said making up is fun to do is a damn liar

Pop quiz: You've just spilled your guts on how you feel about the latest Alicorn, and none of it was very nice. Said alicorn is also a student in the magic of friendship slash harmony, and every last word out of your mouth has been about how she's failed at doing anything remotely friendly with you. Oh, and she heard the whole damn thing.

What do you do next?

If your answer was 'Get lynched by the now-slightly-rabid townfolk,' then you get partial credit, because that was about to happen to me. Fortunately, I knew what to do.

No, surprisingly, running was the wrong thing to do in this circumstance. The right thing to do was call out one name. One very specific name. And hope that the one who owns said name would answer.

"Pinkie!"

...It took her a moment, but she bounced over. Aaaaand her grin is gone, great. "Yes?"

Ideas bounced around in my head. "We need Twilight's favorite flowers! And her favorite chocolate! And we need to dip her favorite flowers in chocolate!"

Pinkie let out a gasp at the last bit. "Oh my goodness, that's a wonderful idea! I don't know why I didn't try it before!"

Just as suddenly as it came, Pinkie's good mood vanished. "But that won't be enough, mister!"

I nodded to her. "I'm well aware! But part one of rectifying this is for me to go bearing gifts! Can I trust this matter to you, Private Pie?"

...No, I don't know where the military fatigues or helmet came from. All I know is she was wearing it and gave a salute with one foreleg. "Sir, yes sir! Where should I rendezvous once the supplies have been acquired, sir?"

I blinked but plowed on despite the suddenly appearing attire. "It is likely that Twilight teleported into the library and barricaded herself in her room so that she could be alone and ruminate on all the garbage that I spewed! So I will make my way there, as will you once your mission has been accomplished!"

"Sir, how would you know that, sir?"

I looked to the distant treebary and sighed. "Because when you're hurt, you seek comfort. When you're in pain from the unfamiliar, you seek the familiar." I turned back to Pinkie. "Prepare to gather the rest of her friends, as well. Should I fail, they might at least draw her out."

"Sir yes sir!"

And with that, Pinkie was off. So was I, but I left in a more...normal manner. I raced to the library and skidded inside just as a lavender translucent dome encased the whole thing, separating Measured and myself. Measured poked it from the outside with a hoof, making a soft ting sound, but achieving nothing. I sighed at the sight. "Exclusion barrier. Twilight wants to be alone, and she has the power to make it so."

I turned around and took in the reading room to notice a small pile of flowers, chocolates, and flowers dipped in chocolate sitting on one of the tables. A note nearby read -

I managed to get these done quick! I'm off to find the rest of our friends!
-Pinkie

Just then, there was another tink from the shield, and I turned to see five more mares, Twilight's friends, standing next to Measured. I waved at them and smiled as if to say I got this.

I stepped fully inside the library and closed the door, then let my facade drop. At the time, my thoughts were roughly Oh sweet mercy what the hell can I do to help?!

And that was when I heard the sobbing come from upstairs. Loud, pitiful sobbing. The sort of sobbing kids do when their pets have died and they realize the world is not made out of gumdrops and ice cream.

I sighed at the sound and made my way upstairs slowly, trying to put together the right words to say. It wouldn't be easy, because not only had what I said back in the square been my honest opinion, but it apparently cut Twilight real deep. Still, any good argument has multiple sides to it. I would just have to get Twilight to listen to me.

Easier said than done.

I walked upstairs and noticed which room was Twi's right off the bat. It was the only one with the open door, after all. She had collapsed in a heap on top of her bed, crying into her forelegs. Nearby lay a scroll.

Dear Princess Celestia,

It has been brought to my attention that I have been less than friendly with the one known as Auric Fulcrum. He said several things in anger at the town square today, but I can refute none of them. And that's what scares me.

I have treated him more like an animal than a pony. I have done more testing than talking with him. He has every right to call me the Lavender Terror, because that's all I've done to him: scare him.

And in so doing, I have let both you and Equestria down, because I have clearly failed my lessons in the magic of friendship and potentially alienated Auric from us forever. I submit myself to your mercy. Whatever punishment you devise, it will not be enough.

Your student,
Twilight Sparkle

I slowly walked up next to her, and her ears twitched slightly at the sound of my arrival. One of her eyes focused on me before she blinked and turned to face away from me. "Come to yell at me more? Tell me what a buck-up I am? About how I've done nothing but hound you rather than befriend you?"

I shook my head at that. "Surprisingly, no. I'm here to apologize."

At this, she turned to face me. "But...but everything you said! It was all true!"

I shook my head again. "That doesn't make it right to say. I'm pretty sure there are parts of your friends that you don't like either. And you would never tell them that to their face, because friends forgive each other for things like that."

Twilight nodded slowly, my point dawning on her. "So those illusions I dispelled..."

I waved a hoof around. "Were meant to keep my presence in Ponyville disguised from you. I would normally never say those things! And half...most...buck it, all of it was fueled by my anger."

Twilight looked a bit downcast at that. "Anger which I deserve."

I shook my head fiercely. "No, nobody deserves to have somebody else angry at them. Not even you."

She blinked at that and began to protest, but I would not be stopped, again. "True, you've done a lot of things to me lately. But you wouldn't be Twilight Sparkle if you didn't seek to understand the world around you to the fullest extent of your capabilities. The fact that I'm such an anomaly doesn't help matters either. If anything, I'm at fault."

At that, she gasped, but I shook my head at her shock. "I let my anger get to the point where I would rant and rage about how you treat me. I let it get away from me. I may think those things, but its the other sides of the argument, the other positions, that matter. Not the sole one that you heard, but the ones that balance it out."

She blinked in confusion, and I smiled and placed a hoof on her withers. "Twilight Sparkle, you are an amazing mare. The student of royalty, she who studies friendship and magic and both combined. Savior five times over of this land, recently crowned a princess in your own right. True, you're a little awkward in social situations, but hey, you're better than Fluttershy."

At that, we both let out a soft, slightly strangled, laugh, before Twilight nodded slowly at the praise. I still wasn't done, though. "As such, I must ask your forgiveness in saying all that I did to you. It was...there are no words to describe how beyond rude it was. Any punishment you devise will not be enough."

At this, she sighed a bit and looked back to the letter. "I...I need time to think. Time to myself. Can you tell my friends I would like to be alone for a little bit?"

I sagged, but nodded and turned to leave. Before I fully left her room, I remembered two important things. "Oh, yeah. There's a gift downstairs for you, and you're gonna need to take the barrier down so I can leave."

Her horn flared once, and I left the library to see six mares looking at me. Five were displeased, whereas the sixth was merely concerned. "Look, things were said today that should not have been said. I've apologized for my harsh words to Twilight, but she's still rather shaken and wants to be alone for right now. I think we should honor her wishes for today, but only for today. If she wants to be alone longer than that, you'll have to cheer her up."

I made to leave, and Rainbow Dash got in my face. "And where do you think you're going?"

I walked around her. "The only place where I, too, can be alone."

Pinkie bounced up next to me. "Silly, if Twi shouldn't be alone longer than a day, why should we leave you be?"

I glared at her and then at the rest of them. "Because I caused this. Because you should hate me for breaking your friend so badly. Because I bucking deserve to be alone."

And before any of them could offer a counter-argument, I left them behind.

It was days later. I had only left my tower once, and that was to Luna's room in Canterlot Castle for a project.

It had become clear to me that the loss of my Tokens had hit me hard. The thought of not being able to Call, even it was just for a friendly chat with someone who would truly understand me...

There had been numerous pleads to see me again. Apparently the townsfolk were kinder than I'd given them credit for, but none of the pleas were from the one I'd hurt most.

Until Twilight wanted to see me again, I'd stay here and rot, if that's what it took. The look on her face, the amount of hurt I'd caused...

I'm not heartless. It hurt me too. I'd caused that, and now I'd live with it.

Measured walked up behind me and looked at what I was looking at. Which, for reference, was a huge, silvery mirror.

I'd transmuted the thing out of base materials, altered the very structure of it with some leftover Void-energy in Luna's room, and given it both a taste of my power and blood, along with leftover particles from the Tokens.

Bottom line: It could focus on those that had given me Tokens, my Tokens, or just those that were human. Currently I was watching a certain Knight of the Sun and...a rule 63 version of himself. I waved my hoof, and it went to the next, which was my old pal Gilgy.

"Auric, this isn't healthy."

I just murmured at her while Gilgamesh tore through several walls and vaults following the compass I'd made for him.

"You need to get out there, meet the ponies."

"And do what," I said to the image of Nocturne meeting Jack, "Blow up at them too? Or maybe I should just deconstruct their lives around them? Perhaps this time I could do it in song!"

Measured sighed and placed a hoof on my withers. "You know that's not fair. You had every right to blow up at her. Tartarus, if you hadn't, I would have one day."

I shook my head. "That excuses nothing. Part of being better is knowing better. Had I only held my tongue..."

Measured shook her head as well as an image of Alice and her 'house' flickered past. "You do not blame the mountain for the avalanche when you kick a stone into the precarious rock pile. You do not blame the forest for the fire if you leave yours unattended. She provoked you constantly, and a reaction was inevitable."

I went to correct her, before the mirror focused on...

A gaunt, skeletal figure and slightly more anthropomorphic version of Twilight, stuck in the Void Eternal. The figure flipped a golden coin, and then I heard the words.

"I am Xante, Baron of the Frozen Wastelands, First among Liches, Lord of the Undead, and Fabulous Rainbow Magician. Me and my friend are stranded here in The Void, and need your help!"

I turned to Measured. "The guest room is made up, right?"

She nodded, then her brow furrowed. "You can't just bring other creatures from Beyond into this world, the consequences could be-"

I merely replied with the words "Watch me" and went up to the mirror, placing my front hooves on it and focusing...

Author's Note

Beep, beep! Incoming crossover with Ssendam the Masked and his story!

Chapter 6 - Lich, meet pony. Pony, meet lich. Play nice.
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 6 - Lich, meet pony. Pony, meet lich. Play nice.

Chapter 6 - Lich, meet pony. Pony, meet lich. Play nice.

(Xante POV for this chapter.)

As the coin finished turning over in mid-air, I felt a bit of an idiot.

“Xante? Did… did it not work?”

I shrugged, a bit unsure of what had happened. “I, well, it SHOULD have worked. Maybe the person on the other side, this…” I looked at it, the coin denoted to a Auric… something or other. Looked human, at least, from the coin. “This Auric, yes, maybe he’s out or something.”

I picked up another coin. “Maybe try anot-”

And then a voice filled the air around us. “Hello? Hello in there. Can you hear me?”

I grinned. “Loud and clear, mister Auric. Now, there’s two of us, as I said. Any difficulty on your part?”

Twilight looked around. “Alright, how is this even working? I’ve never heard of a spell that could do this kind of projection before.”

I shrugged, “I don’t pretend to understand, but I’m pretty thankful that he responded. Now, we should probably get close, make his job a bit easier.”

I turned in his vague direction. “Anything you want us to do or are you going to pull us directly?”

“Well, it’ll take a bit on my end. Normally, I’m meant to go TO the Token. Pulling you here will be an interesting challenge. Along with testing the properties of the mirror and how far I can push them! It’d probably be best if you both touched the coin. Wouldn’t want to leave one of you behind without an anchor.”

I turned to Twilight. “You heard the magical voice in the sky, touch the coin.”

Twilight did so, with a sceptical frown on her face. “Alright.” She turned her face upwards.

“Thank you, Mr Auric!” She turned to me.

“Do you have any idea how fascinating this is? We’re travelling to an alternate dimension! Isn’t that just… incredible?”

“Not really. I’m pretty sure I’ve run across about...a half dozen at least people from alternate dimensions. Becomes old hat. Hang on to your bums, assuming you have them!”

I huffed. “Somebody has a nice sense of humour.” I turned to Twilight. “Try not to go TOO crazy going there, okay? Don’t want to alienate our rescuer.”

She blushed a bit. That’s kind of cute. “Oh, hehe… yeah, I’ll be quiet.”

“I doubt it, assuming she’s anything like this Twilight. Transporting in five…”

Another Twilight Sparkle? Like this one?

“Somehow, I feel like this is a bad idea all of a sudden.”

I winced, but my hand refused to let go of the coin. There was a sharp...pulling sensation, and the colors bled from around me before focusing to a silvery point. And on the other side stood, not a man, but an orange unicorn pony. One that was less anthropomorphic than the one I was currently stranded with.

And then it opened its mouth, removing all doubt that it was our rescuer. “Ah, there you lot are! Finding you was easy, pulling you here was interesting. I’ll have to ask why you were in the Void Eternal at a later date. For now, brace yourselves!”

The mirror rushed closer, and suddenly Twilight and I were being pulled through it to the other side, where the pony was. The sharp sensation of having actual ground under our feet caused us both to stumble a bit, before we regained our balance.

The room we were now in looked rather...bare. Bare’s a good word for it. And the pony next to us was panting as though exhausted. “Never had to pull two targets through one mirror before.”

Wait… pony?

I dismissed that, looking for our summoner. “Many thanks, master Auric. Now, let us actually meet, face to face. I dislike speaking to your puppet.”

The pony shook its head. “Sorry, but what you see is what you get. This is what happens in Equestria if you expend too much power and are foreign to it: it changes you until you get your strength back. Auric Fulcrum I am and will hopefully always be.”

Huh. Remind me not to ever do that much. “In which case, Mr Fulcrum, I apologise for my assumptions.” I bowed. “Please, accept my humble apologies.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was looking at Auric with a mixture of curiosity and respect. “So you’re the one who brought us here… well, this is all a bit new to me. So, would you mind if I-”

I caught her eye and gave her a bit of a glare. She stumbled a bit.

“-would you mind answering a couple of questions that I have?” From a small pocket, she withdrew a notepad and pencil, and hesitantly opened it. The pony that was Auric snorted a bit, but smiled.

“Just like this Twilight. So long as you respect me when I say there are things I would like not to try to answer or explain, then yes. I can answer your questions.” He then turned to me. “And don’t give me that ‘humble apologies’ shtick. I’m not some malevolent guy who’ll blast you for speaking your mind.” He turned to one side and muttered something incomprehensible.

I raised an eyebrow, and started probing for his chakra gates. The results I got were… interesting. “You’re quite an interesting being, aren’t you? Neither mortal nor immortal, but in an in-between place.”

He chuckled at that. “Interesting that you could tell, but yes. Ever heard of the Golden Sun?”

I racked my memories for something relevant. Nothing came. “Sorry, but is that an ‘Earth’ thing you’re talking about? I’m afraid that I don’t understand.”

Auric waved a hoof around as he began explaining. “Sorta-kinda. Out there in the Multiverse somewhere is Weyard, land of Psynergy. Command over the Elements is something that comes natural to them. When all four Elemental Beacons are lit, they combine into a Golden Sun that shines on the land. He who stands where it shines gains power unmatched and immortality.”

He then grinned at both Twilight and me. “Fast forward to now, here, in this Equestria, I made one happen, with a bit of help. And I was standing in the right place at the right time. So yeah, immortal.”

He sighed wistfully as he looked at a plain wooden door set in one of the stone walls. “Gave it up, though. Had to. Measured Thought was dying, and breaking it was the only way to save her, to get the power to save her. We’re both...ageless now. And assuming we don’t die beforehand, we’ll be immortal together.”

I was impressed with him. With a grin on my face, I replied. “You truly have a far nobler spirit than I. My method of immortality, I achieved with a lot of effort, out of a rather selfish desire. I wanted to see death for myself, and be able to report on it. Mine is not easily giveable, but you have my genuine admiration.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was fascinated with this. “So, could you tell me a bit more about this ‘Psynergy’ of yours? If it’s not too much bother, that is.”

His grin never faded. “Sure, let’s head down to the first floor.” And with that, he walked directly to the wooden door. After some slight hesitation, we followed, Twilight eager and myself curious to see what wonders there were in this place.

On the other side of the door was a bathroom. Auric grunted and shut it. “No.”

It was rapidly opened again, revealing a kitchen. “No.” And slammed shut just as quickly.

Again it opened, to reveal a mare checking a bedroom for anything missing. “No, but keep that one in mind. Oh for goodness sake.”

The door was closed again, but Auric glared at it. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

How very fascinating. “Let me guess. There’s a portal in the door, and it connects to other portals throughout this place. I’ve never relied on them myself- they fail too easily, right?”

Auric snorted slightly. “No, the door just has a mind of its own - unless you ask politely, it’ll take you where it wants you to go, rather than where you want to go. So now I ask, can we please go to the ground floor?”

The door shuddered a bit, and when it was next opened, it revealed a large, spacious entryway with five other doors placed around the perimeter. On four were symbols carved into them. One a flame, one a water drop, one a gust of wind, and one a mountain.

“So, which first? Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, or Mars?”

Twilight looked at them. “This is incredible! An entirely different branch of magic… this, well, this is simply amazing! The things I could research with this...” She shook herself out of her wonder.

“Um, Jupiter first.”

Auric nodded. “This way, then. Mind yourself, though. If your hair starts to gain too much of a charge, tell me.” Auric made his way to the door with a breeze on it and pushed it open.

Instantly, the sense of electricity, of being in the center of a storm, filled the air. “Jupiter, element of air, wind, and all it controls. Storms are second nature to those with the potential to wield it!” Auric walked in, seemingly uncaring. Sparks crackled in my minds’ eye, and I started thinking quickly about defensive spells in case this did go haywire. I trusted Auric, yes, but I didn’t live for a thousand and six hundred years by not being cautious either. Just then, he called back to us.

“Mind, I only do storm research on Wednesdays! And today’s minor stuff, just studying charges and how wind moves. It’ll sting, yeah, but unless a visiting Djinn takes real interest in you, then you should be fine!”

Twilight’s ears perked up at that. “What’s a Djinn?” She had to shout over the rising winds. Auric nonetheless replied.

“Look up!”

We did so, and I was now flabbergasted for the fifth time since coming to this plane of the multiverse.

“In all my long life…” I murmured, unable to think of anything else I could say. Auric laughed at that.

“Surprised me too! Fifteen hundred years ago, there was only one of each element! Ol’ Puck figured it out, probably. He always did have a mind for mischief. And these are just the ones that listen when I ask! More wild ones are out there!”

Sitting up on clouds and controlling the movements of the indoor tempest were a half-dozen purple creatures with eyes of polished sapphire. They didn’t seem to need to exert any real force while making the wind move as they wanted it to, and one even charged the cloud it was sitting on, turning it into a thunderhead!

“Wow…” Twilight whispered, and I agreed with her.

“So, these are the elemental spirits of Jupiter? The embodiment of the storm, eh? Fascinating.” They were majestic, if not in form then in spirit.

“Yeah, wind and storm given form. These ones are immature though, none of them have earned a name yet. They’ll figure it out one day.”

Auric then turned to one, and it obliged, hopping down from its cloud perch and landing on his back. “Jupiter, known as air, can control the winds, direct lightning, and even have access to a host of status effects. I’ll...not show that off. Just know that Jupiter isn’t a school you want to piss off.”

I nodded. “While I’ve never really wanted to control the violent energy of the storm, I can see its beauty. And there are more schools- Venus, Mercury and Mars. I’m guessing Mars is fire, Venus is… earth, and Mercury is water.”

Auric nodded. “Quite astute, but storm and wind are not the only things Jupiter has dominion over. Jupiter is the only school with any access to techniques that afflict the mind. Due to this, all Jupiter Djinn can talk. Or at least, sound like they do. I’ve never asked how they do it.”

Mind Read, but instead of reading your mind, we alter your perception of hearing, so that you hear the voice we want you to. Other Djinn have it harder, they have to actually connect with your mind on some level!

Auric merely nodded at the sound of the voice coming from the Djinn on his back. “Thought it was something like that.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was squeeing over them. “Aw, they’re so cute! Like little mind-reading blobs! And,” she coughed, remembering herself, “also elemental embodiments of the air. So,” she looked at the Djinn on Auric’s back, “is there anything you can tell me about the Djinn? Where you’re from, for instance, if that’s not too personal.”

The Djinn and Auric shared a glance before turning back to her and sighing. “That...is sorta my story. All Djinn know it. And...it’s not the best one. Suffice to say, I found the first four Djinn a long time ago. And one day, they figured out how to harness magic and elemental energies, binding them into more Djinn. Thus, Djinn are ‘made,’ but typically, the more Djinn that partake in a ‘molding,’ the more unique the next Djinn will be, and the less it’ll drain them. I wish Terra, Dracen, Puck, and Newton knew that then. They might still be around...”

Twilight nodded, scribbling all that information down. “And they’re… immigrants? From another world.” She turned to me.

“This is genuinely a huge discovery. I mean, Mr Auric, it’s YOUR discovery, obviously, but could I… write a bit? Please? Just… make a couple of notes from what you’ve found? If it’s not too much. I won’t share them, or whatever, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I’ll make you the main creditor and researcher behind this.”

Auric shook his head. “Really dear, I don’t think you should. It’s not because I don’t want you to,” he said, at Twilight’s disappointed face, “It’s that...you’re in another Equestria. One that may be quite different to your own,” and here he gestured between his own pony body and Twilight, “But think. Beyond this difference, what would you think is the same between our worlds?”

Twilight put a hand on her chin, thinking. “Hmm… well, from what you said in the Void, there’s another version of me, as well as other versions of my friends, so… wait a minute. I’m- I mean, this me- is already researching this and you, right? And I probably accidentally trod on your feelings, didn’t I.” More of a statement than anything else. Auric sighed and looked at his hooves.

“More of a painful memory. See...this Twilight has been kinda...manic about trying to understand me. And I may...have said a lot of hurtful things. When I thought she couldn’t hear me. But she could, and it sorta...well, it hurt her. And me.”

Twilight’s ears drooped. “Yeah, I kind of get a bit like that. When something really interests me. In fact, had you not warned me… I might have repeated that mistake.” I grinned at her.

“Well, at least you’re honest about it. Imagine how this other Twilight is feeling. You should probably go and talk to her-” Suddenly, I remembered something very, very important.

“Mr Auric, what date is it and what year? It’s important.”

Auric flicked his ears as he considered the question. “I’m...not certain. I’ve measured time differently than most, thanks to that whole Earth thing. I could call for Measured, she might know. I think she’s the only one with a calendar in this bloody tower.”

“Call her. It’s important. Or it might not be. It all depends on the date.”

Auric nodded and moved to the lab door. “You’re going to want to leave before me, the doors shut if I’m not in here. And don’t open.”

I nodded, gripping Twilight’s arm. “Come on, let’s meet this Measured pony. It’ll be vitally important. Or not, as I said.”

Twilight seemed confused. “Why would it matter what the date is?”

Auric filled in as we entered the main room. “Time, unlike what you’ve been told, is not a river. It’s more like an ocean. It can be rewritten, save for fixed points. And depending on when you entered this world and when you left yours, you could experience things you weren’t meant to know about. What was the last major event you can recall happening? I’m talking things like Discord here.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Well, we just got back from the Crystal Empire, which is where we encountered Xante. We’d already beaten Sombra, he just showed up slightly later.”

“Are we around that point? If so, then that’s good. If not, then you should keep in the tower, to avoid spoilers for your own future. Trust me, you DON’T want to know the future.”

Twilight nodded. “I know that much.”

Auric sighed. “Season three opener. We’re in Four by now. Or as you might understand it, a good few months to a year beyond your own world. And yeah, I know things. Important things, but you DON’T want to or NEED to know them.”

I sighed. Time dilation at its finest. “Well, that’s pretty bad. Back when I was at home, it could take between a simple three month difference in time to four years when I travelled to Earth. But this is good! You won’t see how you’re going to die, unless this Twilight’s contracted something life-threatening or is much older.”

Auric held a crystal-blue hoof to his chin. “I’m...not sure how I’d tell anymore, to be honest.” His eyes widened. “Oh crap, that was nearly a spoiler, wasn’t it?”

Twilight looked between us, confused. “What’s going on?”

I looked at Auric. “Cover your ears, don’t listen in. It could possibly change the future of your world forever if you had dangerous future knowledge.”

I walked over to Auric. “What’s this Twilight caught? Cancer? Diabetes? I’ve seen a fair few universes where an unhealthy student diet took its toll on her figure.”

Auric shook his head and brought his mouth close to my ear. “A case of Alicorn. She fixes a spell of Starswirl’s and ascends.”

I blinked. “Starswirl the Bearded? How interesting.” I noted that down in my mind for future reference.

“What’s this about Starswirl the Bearded?” Twilight must have overheard that very last bit, but fortunately hadn’t heard the context.

Crap. Save face. “Oh, uh, I… beat him in a drinking contest.” Always tell the truth.

Auric rolled his eyes. “And in this world, I had a run-in with him when the Princesses wanted to figure out how I did the things I did. Great stallion. Bit pompous. Thought I could use an instruction in ‘proper’ magic.”

“Really? We were drinking buddies. We met in a rather dismal bar, I wanted the last dregs of the barrel, so did he, and before you know it we’re having a drunken wizard’s duel.”

Auric rolled his eyes again. “Ah yes. Because magic and alcohol mix so well. Well, I assume they would if you didn’t have to worry about your liver anymore.”

I nodded, grinning widely. “If I was alive, I’d be needing a new liver.”

Auric poked a hoof at my robes. “Assuming there was a place to put it. Sheesh. If you had to rely on physical strength alone, even Fluttershy could take you.”

I was a bit hurt. “Oh yeah? I’ll lift you.” Before he could react, I gripped him and strained. “HUURGH!” My teeth gritted, my knees started cracking, and I felt my undead ichor pulsing, but I lifted him over my head.

“Multiclass in Monk and mastery over my own lifeforce means that my muscles are strong where they count.” My arms snapped at the elbows, and I collapsed, Auric falling on top of me.

“Ouch! I will never understand why-” And that’s as far as he got before a sudden rush of inspiration filled my mind.

I could see it. I saw the multiverse in one glance. It was beautiful, but then I saw it. The Merchant, hiding somewhere-

The vision faded, and I rolled onto my front, arms still off. I wheezed, trying to draw air into my lungs. Twilight hurried over to me, hauling on my stumps. “Xante? Are you alright?”

“...I saw him.” It came out as a whisper, but Auric heard me. He froze up and looked at his hooves before slapping himself in the face with one.

“Damn it damn it DAMN IT! I am so sorry, Xante!”

I got up, and with a flare of rainbow energy around my stumps I recalled my arms. “No, you don’t understand. I SAW HIM. The Merchant! He’s hiding, and I didn’t see where! If I can get him, then I can go home! I can leave this plane, and I can go home! It’s incredible!”

Auric shook his head. “No, you don’t get it. I once wielded a blade, Eureka, the Blade of Understanding. When I became what I am, the blade was placed in my hooves.” He held one up for us to look at.

I was mildly curious. “But I NEED to find The Merchant. He’s breaking so many laws, bringing humans from Earth into this plane, or others, that it isn’t funny. There might be one, there might be several, but I NEED to see where he is. He’s holding me here, in this plane and I-”

Auric interrupted. “When I was human, on Earth, I asked myself the question. An innocent question. ‘How does everything work?’ And I got an answer. I saw the Multiverse in all its glory and horror. The Void Eternal and That Which Fills It. From the substructure of an atom to the full view, my mind flipped between them both. It broke me, and Eureka contains that moment. Now, when I don’t watch my words when I’m touching others with my hooves, they might experience that moment too.”

That humbled me. “Understanding… true understanding…” I’d felt it- I’d SEEN it. I looked at him with a renewed sense of admiration. “And you’re still lucid… that’s what I like about Earth, the humans there are so indomitable.”

He nodded. “I...never really recovered. Not from that, you can’t. It’s still there, like a hole that’s just been patched over. As Discord said after he touched the blade, ‘Limitless knowledge is fine and dandy until you gain limitless understanding.’”

“Wise words.” I stretched, an amazing fatigue.

“But the Merchant is a threat. Let me explain. Is there a table nearby? Somewhere where I can sit and get some much needed caffeine?”

Auric went to the door and made to open it, before narrowing his eyes at it. “The odds of you acquiescing are low, aren’t they? So why don’t we skip that. Please take us to the kitchen.”

The door rumbled and when Auric opened it, a kitchen we got. One that was surprisingly Earth-like. I staggered in on legs that still hadn’t been really repaired and sat down, trying to get rid of that small fragment of understanding. I knew the multiverse, but not all in one glance. Twilight looked at Auric. “So, nice kitchen.” This bit of small talk seemed a bit unfitting for the general area.

“Coffee. I really need some coffee. Or tea.”

Auric went over to a coffee pot and paused before turning back to face me, a slightly manic smile on his face. “You just want normal coffee, or do you want something more...fun?”

I rubbed my eyes. I felt tired, more tired than I’d ever felt in all my long years of life. “As long as it’s highly caffeinated, I don’t really care. Surprise me.”

“One Hellbrew, coming up! Not even Measured drinks this stuff!”

I looked at the steaming mug and raised an eyebrow. Then, I lifted the mug to my lips and drank. The black ichor flowed through my old, mouldy body and invigorated my system. Then, my eyes shot wide open as the caffeine shot through my head. Unconsciously, my hands started twitching. With a momentary flare of power, my gloves shot right off, and my full magical might, hit by unexpected caffeine, flared outwards, forming a rainbow-coloured skull around me. Frost spread all around me in a snowflake pattern as the coffee turned my brain to mush then reconstituted.

“I’ll take that as a ‘my compliments to the chef,” Auric commented, “Or is there something else I should take it as when my coffee makes you magicgasm?”

“B͉̿͑͗̐aͣͨ͗'̤̟ͧḊ̢ͧ̄́ͣͫu͈̺̎̅ͫ̂̑̋v̟̹̗̯͎͗̀e̿̌r̗̘͐͗̌̓́a̘ͧͨ͑̀ ̛̹̼̠͈̻͐͐D͉̼͙̥͇͕͎͊ͯ̔̍a̭̞̫̽͗̾ͅn̿ͮ̏̒҉͖ị͈̭̻͍̠̻ͪ͘t̝̱̯̓͆͗̉͊̅̿o̬!̖͍̘̼̏ͩ̆̏͠ ͒̅̀͆̋̇̚”

I coughed awkwardly as the eldritch swear words rolled off my tongue. “Don’t repeat that one to my mother. Long may she be dead.” Well, Understanding was buried in the aftermath.

“Anyway, Mr Auric. I presume you’re from Earth. Well, I’m not.”

That was the easiest bit to say. Auric rolled his eyes again. “No, really? I would think someone would have said something about an ancient lich wandering the world, freezing everything, and looking fabulous while doing it.”

I nodded. “I come from a world known as Ranreia.” Unconsciously, my hand tugged at my robes, opening them quickly. Ping Pong Circulate started playing loudly as I started talking.

“You see, when I was twenty years old, I attained Epic-Level status, and became… well, immensely powerful in the process. But I wanted to experience death, so I became a lich to satisfy my morbid obsession.” I threw my upper robe off, nipples starting to glow. Twilight gagged and tried to look away as I continued.

“But I saw one Earth where a man dressed in armour, with a tabard of the sun was handed a staff and disappeared. Seeing that some reckless fool was giving Earth humans magical artifacts and sending them somewhere here.” That said, my hands quickly unclasped my myriad belts.

“But then I met The Merchant. He might have looked human, but he wasn’t. He was one of The Things That Fill The Void, and he had a purpose. I know not. I confronted him, and due to a lapse in judgment, I was sent to Equestria. The rest, as you say, is history.” The lower robe was thrown off, onto a counter. I stood up, only my black silk undergarments and hat still on. My nipples glowed brightly, and I arched backwards.

“From your being here, I presume that you must have met the same merchant.” My hand tugged at my undergarments-

“Whoa there. This ain’t a strip-joint. Keep your underpants on, please. I’m still straight, thank you very much. It’s not that I have a problem with those who like their own gender, I just have no desire to look at yours.”

I nodded. “Sorry, it’s just a habit I picked up. There’s nothing more disheartening to a hero then seeing their sworn enemy start to strip in front of them.” With rainbow circles surrounding my hands, my clothes returned onto me.

“Thank you. And yes, I did meet a merchant. Sold me the sword. Now I know why. Would never have pegged him as an Eldritch Horror, but then, you never do until they start chanting in tongues not meant for mortal kind.”

“As far as I can believe, he had specific targets. People who would become disaffected, people who would fall into abusing power. He might have misjudged you. In any case, he sold it at a Convention. You’d find vengeful, angry people who only need the right push to make them complete psychopaths.”

Auric hmmed at that. “That explains the Triad…And...possibly some others…”

“The Merchant is preventing me from leaving. I like this place, but I don’t want to die here. And I won’t.” I disliked thinking about that. Auric nodded at my statement.

“You like it here, but not enough to bring your toiletries over. You’d like the option to go home, but can’t because you have to get past the fat bastard in the door blocking it. I never sought to go home...but if he’s keeping you here…”

I frowned. “I’ll go home eventually. At least one future has that. A rather nasty one, to be sure.”

Auric shook his head. “Not what I was getting at. After all, who can tell what the future might hold for any of us Displaced? No, if he’s keeping you, a centuries-old lich, from breaking through to your home, then what hope is there for those of the Displaced that want to return?”

I tapped my fingers. “It’s not that I can’t break through, but the results would be bad. A Cascade would happen.” If he knew the whole Multiverse, then he knew what happened when you poked too hard.

“A Cascade?” Twilight was interested in that. Auric chimed in. “I’ve...heard of a resonance cascade, where two worlds merged or some such thing. Would this be similar, or are we talking about something far worse? Like, end of the multiverse worse?”

I gripped the mug so tight that cracks formed. “When I was young, my grandmother told me of a story of another Ranreia. There were wizards there, who for their own pleasure pulled warriors to fight for their own amusement. At least one looked like Darth Vader. But the prisoners tried to return, resulting in a Cascade.”

The mug shattered in my hand. “A Resonance Cascade, like you’re describing, isn’t too dangerous. But if the worlds’ don’t resonate, then… it’s just a crash. The Void is the buffer, but if worlds collide without anything too similar… the worlds cease to ever have been Like, retroactively. My grandmother was there, and she barely escaped. She took me to the patch of Void where that universe stood. Total nothingness. Two universes retroactively wiped from existence.”

Auric blinked a few times and looked at the shattered mug. “To think, some scientists back home thought two universes accidentally bumping one another is what started the Big Bang. Well. Now I know what not to ever ever do.”

“The Merchant is afraid of me, as well he should. I’ve killed many of his kind before, and I’m perfectly prepared to hunt him down. But he’s hiding on the other side of the multiverse, some distant plane that I cannot reach.”

Auric smiled up at me, though the look in his eyes was not one of joy. “Hiding in all of inifinity is easy...it’s hiding and not being found that’s hard. And you think you’re capable of taking him down? I took down the bloody Wise One, supposed Master of Psynergy.”

I nodded. “I’ve fought gods before, and I won most rounds.”

Auric shook his head. “It wasn’t a fight, it was a slaughter. I sealed his strength, then deconstructed him on the atomic level.”

“Eesh.” I stretched, tired. “Well, I do want to see what this plane has to offer before leaving. But right now, sleep sounds good. I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep for a thousand years.”

“Try being chained up for fifteen-hundred some time. Sets things in perspective.” Auric walked over to the door and knocked on it once. “Guest room, please.”

The door opened to the bedroom we’d seen once before, this time absent a mare checking it over. “And while I’d normally delight in giving you a tour of this plane, Xante, more bipeds walking around wouldn’t be a good idea, especially when one’s a dopple of Celestia’s favored student.”

I turned to Twilight. “I’ll take some photos for you, okay? But you heard him. YOU’RE already here, so don’t try any hiding spells, mkay?”

“Okay…” she grumbled, choosing a bed and getting in. I flopped on mine and fell asleep practically instantly.

Auric watched from the door, then sighed. “Gonna need to write up a list...a long list…”

The door shut, and silence reigned.

Author's Note

...

Part 1.

Chapter 7 - Oh right, that's why we don't do that.
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 7 - Oh right, that's why we don't do that.

I woke up the next morning and went over to my desk. “Right...rules. Rules rules rules…”

I levitated a quill up and began to write.

Rule 1 - Do not leave the wall outside of the tower. If you do, I make no promises you’ll be able to get back in.

Rule 2 - Do not even TRY to get in my labs. Doors won’t open without me anyways.

Rule 3 - Please, for all that is holy, DO NOT MESS WITH MY MIRROR.

I looked at the rather simple list. “Yeah, even Twilight could follow that.” I walked over to the door and opened it, surprised to see that it actually connected to the guest room. “Huh, surprisingly helpful. Xante, you up?”

The bizarre sight of a lich doing a yoga routine is not a pleasure that I would ever think about seeing in my life. He looked up from the mat. “Morning!” I rolled my eyes at the thought of him needing to do such a routine, but he made about as much sense as Discord before he went mad.

“I’ve thought of a place where you and I can go on tour. It’s quiet, relatively anyways, and the sight of a biped won’t be such a shock to them. You up for it?”

Xante quirked an eyebrow and put his legs behind his head. “Sure. Hang on, is your assistant still around? I wanna mess around with her a bit.”

I shook my head. “She’s in Canterlot today, reporting some of the results from my...few experiments I’ve been doing. When she gets back, she’ll be attempting to entertain and answer our other guest.”

Xante nodded, legs back to normal. “Right-o. So, is there anything I should particularly know about this place? I’m guessing that it’s not Ponyville. I’m already there, in a manner of speaking.”

I shook my head again. “Yeah, Ponyville and quiet don’t exactly belong in the same sentence. Where we're going is the town I built, full of Adepts. And ponies who don’t exactly like miss sunbutt. So, uh...try not to strip or push too many buttons. Almost everyone there has some sorta past they’d like to forget.”

Xante hmmed. “Sounds good to me. I’ve always liked exploring new places- when you have eternity ahead of you, you quickly learn to take pleasure in travelling.” With a couple of pops that made me wince, more magic circles flared around his hands and his clothes reappeared. “So let us move.”

I paused and pinned the small list I’d made on the door. “Let’s just hope she reads it and doesn’t question it too badly…” And with that, I knocked on the door, requested the ground floor, and opened it again.

The ground floor we got, and I ushered Xante through the only other unmarked door. The ten-foot high wall that was half as many feet thick greeted us, with its impressive wooden door. I thought I’d have a bit of fun with Xante, though. “So tell me, what do you notice about the wall?”

Xante’s eyes briefly glowed brighter, then he grinned. “Enough anti-magic wards to blockade an entire prison. I’ll give you a bit of advice on that ward on the door- needs a slight tweak, and it’ll be twice as efficient.” He pointed to a rather unobtrusive area on the door. I looked at it with my normal eyes and my ‘senses,’ but the wards seemed as powerful as always.

“Huh. Interesting, I’ll mark it and Measured and I can go over it later. We sorta patched this system together to keep out...well, anything we didn’t want to get in.” I pushed the doors open and thankfully saw no other ponies on the other side. “Quick, afore they notice I’m leaving.”

Xante looked around. “Well, I see no noticeable differences. Asides from everything being a bit-” Unfortunately, a very familiar high speed missile headed towards him at blinding speeds, knocking him over onto his face.

“Ow.”

I looked at the pony-missile and facehooved. “Girls. Why. Are you. Here.”

The trio of destruction looked up at me from their position on top of the ancient lich. “Oh, hey mister Auric! We haven’t seen you around town lately!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo pitched in, “And when we asked, all the grown-up ponies say ‘you’ll understand when you’re older,’ and won’t tell us anything!”

“So,” Applebloom finished, “We decided to come over ourselves! Oh, and bring you some sweets from Sugar Cube Corner!”

“I think I sat on them,” Sweetie muttered from her position, hoping we wouldn’t hear.

“Um, if it isn’t too much bother, would you mind getting off? My old and decaying body has sort of split in two, and I would very much like to reconstitute myself, if that’s alright with you three.”

It was at that moment the girls realized they were sitting on an animate corpse and responded appropriately:

Screaming, flailing, and in Sweetie’s case, causing things around her to spontaneously combust. Most notably, bits of Xante. He didn’t seem to be in pain, just mildly annoyed.

“Ow. Ow. Ow- that’s not supposed to burn! Neither is that! Ah! Mind the robe! Don’t burn that don’t burn that don’t burn that! It’s too fabulous to burn!”

I had to think fast, though. Sweetie was apparently a Mars Adept, coming into her power. And pissing off something that doesn’t die is never a good idea. From what I can recall, they redefine ‘holding a grudge for all eternity.’

Fortunately, I knew Jupiter’s greatest technique. I pointed a hoof at Sweetie and said “SEAL!”

A symbol flashed over her head, which quickly winked out, taking her flames with it. I smiled down at the lich. “Doing better?”

Xante nodded. “I’ve had worse, but this robe- Oh, this robe is simply RUINED! I paid good money for this spidersilk, I even found some wood-elves and paid them so much! You don’t get dirt out of spidersilk, it’s hand wash only!”

I shook my head at him. “You clearly don’t know who you’re talking to. We’ll go over it later. I have a trio to wrangle.”

Speaking of, I turned to the trio in question, two of which were looking at Sweetie Bell. She herself was alternating between looking at her horn and her hooves, not believing what had been happening around her. “Did...I do that?”

I nodded at her. “Welcome to the Adept Club, Sweetie. We’ll figure out something resembling lesson plans and training later. For now...I think you three should run back to town and try not to set anything on fire. I don’t know how long the seal will last.”

When they got off, Xante’s head grinned. Rainbow coloured magic flowed from his neck, recalling the various pieces of his body and reassembling. “Before you leave, I want to give you a little something… I think I have it here…” He rummaged around in his pockets, before pulling out a small bag.

“Alright, I’ll forget about it one time, but don’t run over me again, okay?” He proffered it to them. They looked at the bag with wide eyes, and I looked at Xante with narrowed ones.

“These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They caused explosions and calamity when an Adept wasn’t a part of their number. Giving them anything is like asking, no, daring the universe to smite you.”

Xante smiled. “It’s just candy. I’m paying them not to run into me. If they do… well, then I’ll have to tell their parents or next-of-kin or something.”

I smiled at that. “Oooh, I might just have to do...that…” I recalled my self-imposed exile from Ponyville and sighed. “One day, that is.” I turned to the trio and cocked an eyebrow. “So? Think you lot can go back to town and not mention anything you saw here?”

They exchanged a quick look, got into a huddle, whispers were exchanged, and then Scootaloo’s head popped up. “What sorta candy?”

Xante cocked his head. “Uh… let’s think, I bought that stuff fairly recently on a train. I think that they’re jelly babies or something.”

Her head rejoined the huddle, and this time Sweetie’s popped up. “No chocolates?”

Xante frowned. “Chocolate’s bad for your teeth, you know. Besides, the only chocolate I have is a bar of dark chocolate that’s over a thousand years old. But…” he waggled his eyebrows and withdrew a red Lindt box, “This is genuine Belgian chocolate, under a preservative spell. It’ll be the best damn chocolate ever.” He opened the box, confirming that the existence of small chocolate balls was indeed there. My own mouth watered along with the Crusader’s, and we all wiped our mouths with our hooves, grinning sheepishly.

“Can y’blame me? It’s been so long since I’ve seen chocolate that good.” I turned to the girls. “I guarantee that one of those will be dangerous for your dinner appetite and might just ruin your opinion of other chocolates.”

The trio conferred again, before they turned to face the lich as a united front. “We’ll each take one of the chocolates and we’ll split the jelly babies, and we’ll tell nopony about what we saw here, and you’ll give Sweetie lessons in her new fancy magic. Deal?”

I turned to the lich, quirking an eyebrow as if to ask, does it meet with your approval?

He chuckled. “My, you have good manners. Here.” He slipped them two each. “It’s a secret to everybody.”

They let out a small cheer and each popped one in their mouths. I swear I heard the fireworks go off in their minds. After about ten seconds of them standing there, I took to waving a hoof in front of their faces to snap the trio out of their chocolate-stupor. “Run along now, girls. My friend and I have things to do today.”

They blinked before nodding and thanking the lich profusely and running back the way they came. I chuckled a bit. “Cute kids. They’ll be right little hellions, especially if they all turn out to be Adepts.”

Xante smiled. “Just glad that I don’t have to break the REALLY good chocolate. Trust me, after you’ve tried a genuine Wonka Lindt, the Earth ones’ll taste like utter garbage.”

I blinked a few times at the mental imagery. “Note...to self. Try to scry that world next…”

I shook myself out of my stupor and looked up at the lich. “You have a way of derailing conversations. Let’s...just get to Newvale and hope your Twilight doesn’t try to break the rules I wrote about…”

(Meanwhile, in the guest room of the tower…)

Twilight woke up. “Ah, that was… surprisingly pleasant.” She looked around.

“Now, where’s Auric? I wasn’t asleep for that long, was I…?” Getting up and refixing her shirt, she wandered over to the door, on which was pinned a note.

“From Auric?” She pulled the list off and read it. Then reread it again. Then again, to confirm what Auric had written. Her eyes narrowed.

“You sneaky little…” she took a couple of deep breaths.

“Okay, Twilight. Okay. In and out. Iiiin and oooout.”

She frowned. “Nope. Not helping. Still mad. Then again…” she bit her lip, remembering the Jupiter room.

“Perhaps it’s best to…” She frowned.

“No. I guess I’ll not go there, and I won’t tamper with the mirror, but I WILL at least see into the other rooms!”

If the door could chuckle, it would have.

Twilight walked over to it. “Alright, give me the labs, please.” She opened the door to the kitchen. Her eye twitched, and she shut it again.

“No, I said laboratories.” Opening it again, she was given the bathrooms. A bit of hair started frizzing up.

“I swear, if this isn’t the laboratory room, then I swear to Celestia, I WILL turn you into firewood.” She glared at the door, which seemed to be mocking her. Opening it a third time revealed nothing but a blank wall, with another note pinned onto it. Taking it down showed a very...well, it was a message.

Twilight-

If you’re reading this, then you’ve just tried to get into my labs for the THIRD TIME using the door that has a mind of its own. Not only does this door NOT connect to the lab doors, but the lab doors, which are on the ground floor, do not open without me. Special enchantment to prevent someone from CREMATING THEMSELVES while I’m not home to LOOK OUT FOR THEM.

If you’re THAT bored, feel free to LOOK, but not TOUCH, at the mirror. Or, perhaps in a few hours, when Measured returns, you two can swap comparative magic theory.

Lord and master of the tower, wielder of Alchemy, and your host-
Auric Fulcrum.

Twilight’s eye twitched and her mane burst into a small blaze. With conscious effort, she turned it off and tried to calm down. It didn’t work.

“YOU MOTHER-”

Author's Note

...

Part 2!

Chapter 8 - All in all, it was a good day. Then we hit the bar.
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 8 - All in all, it was a good day. Then we hit the bar.

Chapter 8 - All in all, it was a good day. Then we hit the bar.

“And that is why Alchemy is awesome. At least, when paired with me.”

The trip through the Everfree had been surprisingly calm. This gave me time to grab nearby plants, deconstruct them down to their base materials, and weave them into patchwork...well, patches for the Lich’s robe. They even looked right! Such a thing was intensive, and I could only work on one segment at a time, but by the time we hit Newvale, the robes at least were whole again.

“You’re gonna want to hit it with a true Transmuation, though. They’ve no actual properties of the material they’re mimicking, mainly because I’ve no idea how it works. Still, at least your appearance has been maintained.”

Xante shrugged. “It’s pretty incredible, what you’ve done for this. Alchemy back home is pretty goddamn useless- all you can do with it is transmute metals into other metals. Plus, there’s a whole heap of restrictions on what you can and cannot transmute.”

I shrugged as well as we came up on the gates of Newvale. “Yeah, well, answering the Question in...how did Typhon put it?...oh yeah, a Science-based world. That tends to make Alchemy not-useless. Knowing how the world works removes a lot of restrictions - If you don’t think it can’t be done, you’d be surprised what you can do. Anyways, welcome to Newvale.”

Xante looked over it. “Very nice. I think I had a fortress like that the sixth, seventh time I conquered Ranreia? I like it.”

I nodded at his statement. “Well, it’s just supposed to be a town where Adepts who dislike Celly can live a life away from her rule. The fact that every Adept here is at least moderately competent, Mars and Jupiter moreso, tends to help with defense.”

Xante scratched a chin. “Ah, like a wizard town. Never try to burn down a town filled with wizards, it never works out. Unless you’re much more powerful than they are, in which case do so.”

At this, I actually laughed. “Oooh, that’s a good one. Yeah, the Mars and Jupiter Adepts here managed to combine their strength and hold off a freaking...I’m calling it a greater wyrm. Lady Skycleaver. Oh, and the rest of the Dragon Migration passed over. You may have noticed, the town’s still here…”

Xante nodded. “Dragons are indeed fearsome beasts to overcome, even for me. Wait, no. For me, a dragon’s just an overgrown lizard with wings and a brain.”

I started to lead Xante through the town, taking note of the vague looks of interest we were garnering. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. If you want to meet...my other half, I call him. Then we can visit the Penumbra Sanctum later. For now, anything you’d like to see?”

Xante shrugged. “You’re the guide-”

He managed to spot the bar and his eyes widened. “-but we should totally check out the tavern first. I need to get my drink on.”

I sighed. “Of course. Flowing Tap and Irish Charmer run the place. Tell them ‘Old Headless sent me,’ and they’ll probably break out the good stuff. In the meantime, I’ll check up with some community members, see if anything has been going on I should be aware of...and try to track down our resident manticore as well…”

I left the lich to his drinking and began to seek what could only be termed ‘community leaders’. There was Silver, of course, along with Shiver and Amber. Those three had the most affinity for their elements, thanks to the whole Lights episode. Common Grounds was also a good choice if I wanted to visit someone, and Snow Fluff was still head of our weather department.

...This was, of course, just a distraction. I needed to go see Common, inform him of my shape changing (again!), and then…

I had a memorial to build.

“You do live the most interesting life of all the ponies here, Auric.”

I groaned a bit while Common and I walked to the town’s square. After about half an hour of proving that I was, in fact, myself, he showed me what the town had found, nestled deep in the Everfree.

A Psynergy stone. A pretty large one.

In smaller stones, the energy stored in them is enough to restore a lot of Psynergy at once, but because they’re so small, they overload themselves recharging whoever touches it with all they have. Ergo, they shatter upon first contact.

A large one never shattered. And now we had one.

Newvale would be on all the maps after this. Once we installed it in the town square and I engraved it with what names I could. Not...not all the djinn that had been drained had names, after all…

A team of Venus Adepts kept Moving the stone until it was perfectly aligned, then stepped aside. I walked up to the stone and put my front hooves on it, relishing in the feeling of the power that rested in the stone, but I stopped it from charging me.

If it did, I might end up actually draining the damn thing. It’d shoot me forward a lot in my quest to at least regain human form, but the town needed it more than I did.

I shaped and molded the stone with my Alchemy, turning it into a four-sided obelisk with a pyramidal point. At the top of each side, I caused a name to come forward.

Talos, Moonfire, Flare, Frostfall. Them, their Djinn, and…

I also inscribed numbers. From what the Djinn had told me, there were...at least ten of each element that were unnamed and no longer with us. I backed up from my project and nodded at it and the words I had inscribed at the base of each side.

LEST WE FORGET.

Just then, there was a commotion from the bar, and I sighed. “Xante, you’d better not be getting in more trouble than I can afford…”

As I galloped towards the bar, I heard Xante yelling while one pony managed to be thrown out of the window. Great, a mighty lich was not only bone drunk but picking fights with people over something trivial, most likely.

"I am Xante Mugwump, Baron of the Frozen Wastelands, First among Liches, Lord of the Dead, Fabulous Rainbow Magician, the Walking Ice Age, Lord of the Dance, Three Times Winner of Best Smile in the Land, Former Mayor of Sycamore Town, the Epic Level Lich, Sorceror/Monk Multiclass, Most Fabulous Undead in all the realm, The D, Elf-Murderer, Master of Face Punch, Big Sexy, Friend to Children, Current Mayor of the Necropolis, and Maker of the Best Ever Cheese Sandwich! MY NAME IS NOT ‘ZANTE!’ THERE IS NO ‘Z’ IN MY NAME AT ALL!"

After quickly checking to be sure that the pony wasn’t too badly injured, I charged into the bar to see...well. It was a scene. It’ll probably haunt my memories in some fashion or another. I’ve yet to determine if that’s a good thing yet.

Xante had now stripped down to his underwear and had a mug precariously balanced in top of his pointy hat. He balanced on one leg, continuously swaying near the large barrel he was guarding. As soon as he spotted me, he waved. “Nice to… nice to…” He fell on top of a table and started staring at me intensely. “Your hair is pretty.”

I sighed. “If you’re talking about my coat, then I’ve yet to figure out what makes it. If you’re talking about my mane, we can blame the Golden Sun. And you, sir, are stinking drunk. How?”

Xante attempted to tap his nose, but missed. “S’ not a big secret. Don’ need to… don’ need to…” He tapped his chin. “Summat. You do it with your mouth...thing.” His chest wasn’t rising or falling as he spoke.

I looked over to the backside of the bar, catching the eye of Irish Charmer. “What and how much did he have?”

Irish shook his head at the scene. “We started him off easy, but he just insulted our drinks. So me and Flowin’ pulled up the Devil’s Drink.”

I winced at that; never share your ideas with a bartender. Especially talented earth pony bartenders. “And?”

“He drank half the damn barrel before some idjet insulted his name.” Xante giggled.

I let out a low whistle. Nopony could even stand one mug of that stuff. They typically passed out halfway through. It was a standing bet that any pony that could drink one and stay standing would not have to pay for their drinks. Until now, none succeeded. “Well, guess he gets off scott free. C’mon, ya drunken lich. I’ve got someone I want ya to meet.”

Xante belched. “BREATHING! Yes, that’s it. Dun’ need to breath. Good effect. Ver’ good for swimming.” He fell on top of the counter. “That stuff… Devil’s… thing. I got a gift for ye, hang on.” He pulled out a small bag.

“This is Hell Barley. It makes really damn good bear. But keep the stuff away from metal. It does… summat to it, but it’s bad. Ver’ bad.” He tried to stand up, but fell on the floor.

“S’ a ver’ clean floor. Good on you.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back to Irish. “Get that over to the farms, we’ll see about growing it later. I have a suit of armor to introduce this guy to.”

I called on Lift, and ghostly hands sprung into being before scooping the lich up in their embrace. They followed me as I began the trek to the sanctum. “I don’t trust you to walk right now, Xante, I’m sorry.”

Xante lolled about. With a snap of his fingers, music started playing and he drunkenly started singing. “Th’ hedgehog can never, be buggered at all, the hedgehog can never, be buggered at all…”

This promised to be a long, long walk.

“Are you certain you’re good to go in there?”

We were by now standing outside the doors to the innermost part of Penumbra Sanctum. Where my ‘other half’, Dullahan, tended to reside. And where, thanks to Discord, the boundaries were thinnest.

It would be very impressive if not for the lich standing next to me. I swear I just saw him stagger.

“It’s fine… it’s fine… er.” Xante flopped down and looked at himself, then back to me. “Exactly how many legs do I have?”

I gave him my best snark. “If you start thinking you have more legs than me, we should put this off.”

Xante shook his head. “S’ alright. I just need to- hurk!” A long stream of bile shot out of his mouth. I was just thankful it had missed both me and his clothes, didn’t want the smell hanging around us.

“Better out than in, I always say. Right, I feel ready.”

I pushed the doors open and Dullahan visibly started at my new appearance. Boy? Is...by the Sun. What happened to you?

The armor clanked its way over and took a knee in front of me, giving the impression of ‘looking’ me over and paying no mind to the lich. “It’s just a forced formshift due to breaking my immortality and draining that power, Dully. I’ll be fine in time.”

As the armor continued to look me over, I pointed with a hoof. “Dullahan, this is Xante, with far too many titles to mention. Xante, this is Dullahan, with a more detailed story than I can give in a sentence.”

Xante staggered up. “A pleasure to meet you… er, which one are you? The one on the left or the one on the right?” He was swaying considerably, and he looked, if anything, even greener than usual.

The armor looked at him, then at me. Once again, I knew the sensation. “Devil’s drink. I regret ever giving the idea to the brewponies.”

The armor did its version of a nod. I remember. It then clomped over to the lich and placed a hand on his shoulder. Let’s try a few things. Break!

Xante staggered. “I’m sober. Huh.” He leant on Dullahan. “That is a very useful trick. I like it. Would have been very useful after some times. Now, I can drink even more of that Devil’s Drink stuff, very good.” He poked the flames.

“Is this rude or… something else? I’m sorry, I don’t often meet beings like you.”

The armor let out a chuckle. Nor I you. It’s fine. Just a bit odd. I have a few bits and pieces of the boy's memories, and the only reason it’s odd is because a part of me keeps thinking you should be impacting a face there. Then I remember I never had one.

Xante nodded soberly. Probably the most sober he’d ever been. “That does sound odd. While I can’t really do much about that, how about something like this?” A blue ring surrounded his hand and he thrust it into the sky.

Dark clouds gathered overhead, then snow started falling down. Xante grinned. “Easy to do when you have the know-how.”

Dully and I looked at the snow around us. It was he who spoke up first, though. While there are techniques in Mercury to cause this...the question is not how. It is why.

Xante sighed. “Well, I caused a lot of chaos for you, so it’s the least I can do, both for you and for myself.” He leant on his staff.

“You see, about 1,300 years ago, I wasn’t exactly the… nicest of people. I had some rather nasty beliefs, that I have always striven to get rid of. And, I guess that I was a villain. But villainy is hard. Being good is easier than being evil. And I’m not sure that I’m fully good yet.”

The armor nodded. Me and the boy were one and the same for quite some time. We just didn’t know it, and...how did you refer to me again?

I smiled. “The little murderous voice in my head. Well, my mind, technically. You didn’t make a good case for yourself by Condemning Lady Skycleaver. Or nearly bringing forth Charon on Chrysalis.”

The armor waved a hand at my accusations. Pah, the dragoness deserved it. She would have stolen the Stars if she thought she could get away with it. And she made a fine example for the other dragons.

I pressed a bit, then. “And Chryssy?”

He actually visibly winced. Probably not the best idea, I will admit. But we got caught up in the-

“No, YOU did. The world would have been without a champion of Mercury if you had succeeded and I not wrested control back.”

We both sighed and looked to the lich then. “We have issues, but we mostly get along, so believe us when we say we know how you feel.”

Xante frowned, and shook his head. “My crimes are a bit worse than that. Back on my world, I’m known by one simple title: The Bifrost. It’s the only title I loath. When I was young, and discovered Bifrost magic… I kind of got drunk on power. The result is that there are several cities that are unmelting glaciers now. I am the murderer of three million people.”

Dullahan and I shared a Look. I spoke up then. “Did you mean to? If you were in your right mind, would you have ever considered doing that?”

Xante scowled. “NOW, I would never even dream of it. But back then… I believed that the strong were the only beings that should live, and they were weak. So… back then, I considered them equal to ants. And I slaughtered them like ants.”

Dullahan spoke then. I was naught more than a construct, designed to guard the most powerful summons. Countless raiders and plunderers found my resting place. Countless met their end at my blade. But since the boy and I shared a mind and...well, suit, his values and mine have mingled. So I DO understand. The weak met their end at my blade. Yet if I could, I would do those fights over again, sparing them and letting them flee now. It is a wonderful and terrible thing, to grow a conscience of one’s own.

“Plus,” I interjected, “That’s not counting the one murder I DO take full credit for. The Wise One, remember? Yeah, it was for the good of the world. Yeah, he was cuckoo as all get out. But...if I could have, I would do that fight over again, and merely send him away. For good.” I looked down at my hooves, remembering his pleas as I fractured him…

Xante nodded. “As punishment, the gods of my world twisted my fate. I am FATED to become the Bifrost once again. It is FATED that my philactery is going to be snapped in two. It is FATED that I will be thrown into a volcano. I cannot die, not until that happens. All across the multiverse, every single iteration of me who ever became the Bifrost is fated to have that happen to them. And I’m afraid. Why do you think I drink? I drink to forget.”

I snapped my eyes up and looked at him, then slowly walked over and held a hoof up. “Don’t make me. I could. I’m learning what words to not say. But never say that again. Don’t forget. Don’t try to forget. Don’t put it behind you. Accept it as having happened, as being a part of you. And grow, despite it. Or else I will twist the function of my Weapon on you.”

Xante smiled slightly too widely. “You’re welcome to try. I’m a dead man walking, I don’t fear Understanding much anymore. Maybe this is how it’ll end?” His grin became manic. “I’ve felt your power. Maybe now, the earth will split under us, and the lava will flow up. Maybe my philactery in another world will snap, and you’ll hurl me in. It’s what I deserve, isn’t it?” He cackled, eyes wide, and I shook my head.

I walked forward and put a hoof on him. “There are so many ways to twist this. But no, though you may deserve much, I will not end you. I will merely make you understand your victim’s pain.”

Xante smiled. “Do it. Show me. I want to know. I want to FEEL again. Undeath is so cold… I want to feel something. I want to feel the flesh blacken. I want to feel ALIVE again.”

The hoof started to shine with an inner light, and I reached inside myself, finding where ‘my’ body ended and the ‘blade’ began. I found what it was going to do, and it and I came to a consensus:

Xante would feel the pain of his victims, that much could not be altered, thanks to what I had said. But he would also see why those who aligned themselves with ‘good’ fought for that side. The joys in life and the little things. And it would pull them from the lives of his victims.

It was eerily similar to the Moment, when I saw both the beauty and the terror of the Multiverse, all at once.

Our consensus finished, Eureka let loose on the lich.

Xante screamed. Magic lashed out of his form, freezing the ground beneath him in delicate snowflake patterns. Rainbow light shot out of his eyes, showing scenes- memories- from his life. A scene of him walking into a town and simply slaughtering the first person he encountered. Finding and destroying those who tried to flee, boxing them in. Striking them down with beams of rainbow light that shot from the heavens, completely tearing their bodies apart. More scenes like this played out. At the end, I saw what made him change- him seeing the death of several children at his hands. Then, the little show ended, and he collapsed.

Finally, he stood up. “Well, it seems to be raining now.” I looked up. No clouds except what he’d brought with him. The tears coursing down his face told me otherwise.

Dullahan looked at me, and I nodded. We gathered our thoughts, and when he grasped my foreleg, that familiar hole opened up above us. “In truth, I brought you here for another reason entirely, though this was good for you as well. In this place, the barriers are thinnest. Think you can get a bead on ‘home’ for you and Twi here?”

Xante grinned. “I could have gotten a bead even without this, but it’ll help. Now, Ice Mirror!” With a wave of his hand, a single pane of reflective ice sprang up. Rainbow and blue circles collided, forming that familiar Bifrost colour. With a free-flowing script, simple, elegant runes scratched themselves onto the mirror. He grinned. “Portal spell is a go-go.”

He then turned to me. “I want to thank you for the Understanding, by the way. I mean it.”

I shook my head. “Those who suffer the burden of a curse like this one...it is nothing to me to distribute it. The trick is, finding a way to twist it so that others don’t become like more versions of myself. If you really want to thank me, find a way to yank your Twilight along for the ride.”

Xante nodded. “You use Elements, right? Then I’ll teach you one of my nastiest spells. You saw one method, didn’t you? Then I’ll show you the other.” He leant in, rainbow circles surrounding his hands.

“Memory Transfer- Spell.”

With that, he passed something to me. An incredibly difficult spell, that screamed Suicide spell to just about any caster. Summoning a mountain of ice to crush your foes, and a second one to ensure it did the job. When it was over, Xante nodded. “Done. You have learned Epic Level Spell: Ymir.”

I blinked and shook my head a few times to get the distinct feeling of someone rooting around in my brain’s metaphorical candy dish out. “Well. Now I know what it feels like. Think you can hold on with the Void-jumping until I get home and get your Twilight ready?”

Xante nodded. “Sure. One more thing.” He looked dead serious. “What I just taught you is what magic users where I’m from call a Suicide spell- you use it only when you absolutely know that there’s no way out. In fact, when I finally got off my power high, I, well…” He trailed off. I shook my head again.

“Our little moment wasn’t entirely one way, you know. I caught...snippets. Still! Good to know. Note to self - only bring ice age when area denial is a viable strategy and immortality has returned. Not even, if avoidable.”

I prepared myself, bringing energies in close and hoping that the Teleport I was about to attempt would not only work but leave me some energy. Xante focused on me, gathering his own energy. Wait, he can teleport as well?

Xante grinned. “Lesson 1 of being a villain: always, ALWAYS have an escape plan.”

The world melted around me, and soon, I was back in front of my tower. The disorientation struck, but far less than I was expecting, and I blinked a few times at actually being able to stand and not lose my lunch.

“Gonna need to figure that out later as well…”

Walking in to the tower was relatively peaceful. Walking into my room, also not bad. Walking up to the mirror and setting it for the...co-ordinates, I suppose, in the Void Eternal where I’d first heard Xante’s voice, that was simple as well. Just turn on the bloody thing and follow the signature of the most recent and massive work back to its origin.

It was when I opened the door to the guest room that I feared for my life.

Twilight smiled at me, slightly too wide. “Oh, hello mr Auric! How are you?” Her left eye twitched slightly, and her arms were folded. Taking note of that and her disheveled ma- hair, I corrected myself, told me that her sanity was questionable.

“I’m...fine. I was about to perform a spell to look into the Void Eternal. A similar one that brought you and Xante here. Would you like to observe?”

Twilight grinned, pupils dilating slightly. “That would be wonderful, mr Auric. Especially since I wasn’t able to access your laboratories, hmm?”

She tapped a hoof to emphasise the point, and I laughed a few times. “Aheh. Yeah. I have that on lockdown for a reason, yanno. It’s sorta similar to the reason why you don’t give the Crusaders a box of fireworks and matches.”

Twilight frowned, a bit more of her hair springing up. “Ah, but I’m quite sure that there would be no harm in me… observing the Djinn for a bit? Just a little bit?”

I sighed at that. “They’re living beings as well, you know. Not just spirits. And...I had to build a memorial today. To the fourty-odd lost ones that didn’t even have names. I’d...like to give them today.”

Twilight’s mane got considerably straighter. “Oh.” She then realized how crazy she’d been. “Oh Celestia, I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t mean it like that, I was just curious about them. You know, scientist’s prerogative.”

I smiled a bit at her. “So much like my Twilight, it’s uncanny. Tell me, dear. If you had proceeded, and I’d done something akin to verbally tearing your life apart, but apologized, yet still felt guilty, how the bloody hell should I go about making sure you realized I meant I was sorry about it?”

Twilight frowned. “So that’s why you’re shut up in here.” She sighed. “Well, let’s think. Has she- I mean, myself-not responded at all?”

“Not for a few days, and I think it best we refer to her as my Twilight, to help distinguish between you two. After the...incident in which I blew up at her, I tracked her down, apologized to her face, and...well, I think it helped, and some of the town and even a friend or two of hers have come over to try and entice me out. But…” I sighed and looked at my hooves.

Twilight nodded. “Well, alright, I’ll try to help. Your Twilight feels bad after you ‘blew up,’ and she’s probably looked at it logically. That’s what I would do.” She sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“When I was younger, and I’d been… bullied a bit, I would usually go out for a bit and buy Pony Joe’s donuts. You know, it made me feel better. Oh, and Hayburger. I love Hayburger. I did hear that there were plans of a Hayburger being built in Ponyville… has that happened?”

I blinked a few times before shrugging. “Wouldn’t know, for reasons relating to my story. So…” It struck me, and I laughed. “Oh. Oh Sol. Oh Sol that’s just brilliant. Here I am, sitting in my tower, feeling guilty and not wanting to go out and see the ponies because of what I said, not until my Twilight comes to talk to me…” I trailed off to let the other Twilight fill in.

“But now you’ve realised that you should probably talk your problems out together. Close?”

I smiled. “More like, she’s probably sitting in the library, waiting for me to come to her. Or just trying to avoid me altogether. Holding pattern, nothing gets done that way. Nothing useful, anyways.”

Twilight grinned. “By the way, if she teleports, I can tell you that when I feel really miserable, I usually hide behind the Apples’ barn or Sugarcube Corner. Just an anonymous tip.” She winked at that.

I smiled. “Good to know. Ready for another Void-hop? Xante has a bead on ‘home’ for you two.”

Twilight pouted. “Aw, I really wanted to see a bit more… but I guess we should get moving.” Suddenly, the time related information came back. “Oh sweet Celestia. Oh, sweet Celestia!” She gripped me and started shaking me.

“I don’t know how much time’s passed! What could have happened while I wasn’t there to deal with things? Oh, what if Cerberus somehow broke free from Tartarus again? Or what if Fluttershy started being really mean to us again? Or-”

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight panted, sticking a hand in her mouth and blowing on it. “Deep breaths, deep breaths…” For a couple more seconds, she blew on her hand and tried to calm down. Then, she was calm.

“Sorry. I guess I overreacted again, huh.”

I sighed. “No kidding. Okay, Void-hopping, or trans-dimensional travel, can have time dilation between when you leave and when you ‘get back’. But. If a strong mind is the one making the transfer, then when said strong mind holds firmly in mind the moment it left any particular reality, then the effects of time dilation are negligible.”

Twilight sighed. “Oh, thank goodness for that.” She stood up. “Lead the way, Mr Auric.”

I gestured back at the open door behind me and the mirror that lay beyond. “Right this way. The only reason there was any time dilation when you were coming here is because I was ‘advanced’ in time as compared to when you left yours. Which is also why you shouldn’t have left the tower - you’d probably have seen something you weren’t meant to see. That and, two Twilights comparing theories? Can you imagine the strain it’d put on the fabric of reality?”

Twilight chuckled. “Yeah, it’d be pretty crazy if I was, like, an alicorn or something in the future. Real crazy.” She giggled a bit, and my laughter weakly joined hers a moment later.

“Yeah, no kidding. Or you might have managed to completely rewrite my Twilight’s understanding of how things work. I don’t think I really introduced her to the Multiverse.”

Twilight shook a finger. “If you want her off your case, then don’t. If I didn’t have home to worry about, I might… be tempted to image your brain.” That last bit came out in a rush, and I blinked.

“Okay, two things. One, are we talking just a scan of the brain, or a real in-depth scan of everything my brain has gone through? And two, you probably wouldn’t want to do it in either case.”

Twilight shrugged. “Well, from what you said, you Understand the whole multiverse in its entirety, so there must be SOMETHING different about your brain chemistry- just kidding, just kidding, I’m not actually going to image your brain.” She waved her hands placatingly. “See? No X-ray to use or anything.”

I sighed and placed a hoof on the mirror, getting it ready to replicate its previous feat. “The only thing different about my brain as compared to most of yours is simple. Grew up in a Science-oriented world. Any species that manages to answer the Question in that sort of world is something to be feared, dear. Because not only will they figure out how their world works...but they’ll figure out how other worlds work. Be glad I am not the summation of my species.”

Twilight nodded. “Well, I guess this is goodbye. You’ve been a good host… even though I couldn’t see your labs.”

I laughed a bit at that. “Dear, if you ever find your way into the Void Eternal again, I’d be happy to pull you out and show you another lab. But don’t take this as an invitation to go messing with Xante’s spells willy-nilly.” The mirror showed the ‘spot’ in the Void where I’d pulled the girl and the lich out of it.

Xante’s face appeared in the mirror. “Hello, Auric! Sorry, but this is kind of abrupt, but here!” A hand shoved itself through the mirror, a rainbow coloured ice cube clutched in there.

“Bifrost Ice Cube. Keeps drinks at the perfect temperature, never melts, AND it resonates with my magic. Call on me using this ice cube, and I shall respond if I have the power to do so.”

I nodded and placed the cube in front of the mirror. “Thank you. Ready to receive a Twilight on your end? Methinks your world’s missing her by now.”

Xante nodded. “Beam her up, Scotty!”

I motioned to Twilight with a hoof, and she stepped forward to take Xante’s hand. Right before she did so, however, I decided to be a bit cheeky. “Hey, just so y’know. I get the hunch everything will work out for you. Call it a peek, but so long as you stand by your friends, everything’ll be fine.”

Twilight smirked. “Well, thanks for the advice.”

And with that, she disappeared. I smiled, now ready for the first time in days to confront the issue that was my Twilight.

“So long, and thanks for all the fi- er, help.”

Author's Note

And part 3, ze finale!
Next time:
...No bloody idea.

Chapter 9 - I'm not sure if this is better or worse
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 9 - I'm not sure if this is better or worse

The Mirror of the Displaced, as I called it, had spat out several artifacts lately. I would need to write a subroutine into its spellwork so that it would just absorb the artifacts and store their unique energy for later review.

Did not need another diamond hitting me in the head in the middle of the night at high speeds. That stung.

Though it wasn't nearly as bad as the time the length of chain had somehow ended up on the bed and Measured walked in with my usual morning coffee.

That had led to a wonderfully awkward conversation. Still not sure if I got the idea of me liking that sort of bedplay out of her head totally.

So many Displaced...

But today! Today was going to be a good day! Today was going to be a day where Twilight and I actually talked to one another!

I walked through my door and ended up on the first floor. Tapping the center symbol three times led to all the lab doors being opened at once. What few Djinn there were came out to the first floor, and I nodded at them.

"No experiments or lab work today, though I would appreciate one of each as a companion. I'm headed into town to do something long overdue, and the one I'm meeting has already proclaimed interest in studying my powers. If you lot would be so kind?"

Most of the Djinn left, but four nameless joined me. Venus and Mars on my back, Mercury on my horn, and Jupiter hovered. I nodded and set off, leaving the tower in Measured's care.

Hopefully this wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

Surprisingly, things were actually going my way for once.

If only because Twilight and I didn't know where to start a proper conversation.

It had only been two minutes before I entered the town proper before I'd been accosted by a gaggle of mares. (Is that the right word? Gaggle?) Rainbow Dash had been on weather duty, seen me on my way into town, gotten a hold of Pinkie, and between the two of them, all of Twilight's friends had assembled rather quickly on the route I was taking.

Not halting or slowing, I informed the mares that I was on my way to Twilight's so we could find an appropriate word to describe the size of the hatchet between us, and then bury it.

...I don't know what I was thinking when I said that, but I really should have realized Pinkie would pull out a half-dozen hatchets 'in case of hatchet emergency' once I finished talking.

No, I don't have any idea where they came from, where they went to, or why the idea of Pinkie wielding a hatchet chilled me to my very bones.

Wait, strike that, I knew that one. It was the conflicting imagery that I got when I looked at Pinkie wielding a hatchet. It just screamed 'I'm a crazy pony wielding a hatchet! Ain't I adorable?'

Thankfully, whatever pocket dimension (no, I refuse to believe that she has THAT many stashes of EVERYTHING around Ponyville!) Pinkie pulled them out of, she returned them to when she saw our uneasy expressions.

Another few minutes of walking got us to the library, and I hung back while the mares knocked on the door. Spike answered after a short delay.

"Oh, hey. Sorry, but Twi still doesn't want to see anypony."

At this point, the mares parted like the Red Sea and I walked up, staring the drake in the eyes. His narrowed, mine held.

"Well then," I said, "I suppose my apology will go to waste."

Spike's eyes widened again, he held up a claw, worked his jaw a few times, and closed the door. Sounds of...something rummaging around in the room just beyond met our ears, and then, Twilight opened the door.

The first thing I noticed was that she looked like crap. Not crazy, just...unkempt. As though somewhere along the way, she stopped caring about her appearance. Feathers were out of place on her wings, her mane was all askew, her eyes had significantly larger bags under them...

She was a mess, and she was staring at me. I blinked a few times, then motioned with a hoof for her to go into her library. Seemingly catching on to my intent, she backed up, allowing me and the girls access.

"I'll go put some tea on. You like tea, right Auric?"

I merely nodded to the drake while motioning to the nearby table, and Twilight took up a chair. I immediately took up the chair opposite her, and the Djinn riding me hopped onto the table. In the case of Jupiter, that one hopped onto a nearby bookcase.

Neither Twilight or I had spoken a word to each other, and I knew why:

So many wanted to be said, it would be hard choosing the right ones to use.

Eventually, Spike came back with a tea tray for the other girls. After a few minutes, he returned again with another one, this time for Twilight and me. I took a tentative sip and smiled.

No, I'd not had tea before. I was more of a coffee kind of guy. But now that I'd had it, I could in fact appreciate it. Another sip calmed my nerves and made my stress ooze away.

I placed my cup down and looked up to Twilight, trying to frame the words. Before I could, though, I was interrupted by Jupiter.

Sire, if the purpose of your visit here was merely to take tea, then it was wholly unnecessary. Lady Measured has kept the tower stocked whilst you have been away...and unresponsive.

I sighed and rolled my eyes before directing a glare at the Djinn. Twilight flicked an ear at the voice, but didn't respond to it. Either she refused to acknowledge it, or thought answering it would be detrimental at this time.

I looked back to Twilight and cracked a wry grin. "Djinn, eh? Can't live without 'em, and sometimes I'm not sure if it's worth living with them."

Twilight cocked her head to one side before blinking slowly. "That's right, Princess Celestia did say that they were called Djinn. And that not everypony could see them. But why did you bring them with you?"

"Uh, Twi?" Applejack had apparently been lost. "There ain't anythin' there, sugar."

I shook my head at Applejack's statement. "Not true. Elemental spirits known as Djinn exist all over Equestria. It's just...if you can't wield Psynergy, if you can't use the powers of the elements...you can't even see the Djinn. The Djinn are a good quick test to see if someone's an Adept: if you can see them, you're an Adept, no questions asked."

I waved a hoof at Twilight. "One of the Jupiter messengers I used told me that both Celestia and Twilight started when it delivered a message, meaning that it was likely both of them could see it. This confirms it, though."

Literally, all the jaws save mine dropped. I took solace in this moment by drinking some more tea. Quite lovely, this. Going to have to look into tea blends at a later date. Eventually, Twilight got her voice back.

"So what you're saying is, I'm a practitioner of an entirely new sort of magic, that, before you came along, Equestria didn't have. And I never knew about it?"

I shrugged in response. "Most ponies don't know about it until either their powers activate or they meet a Djinn. Heck, Sweetie didn't know she was a Mars Adept until she set a friend of mine on fire."

Rarity let out a gasp while every pony looked towards her. "My little sister, set somepony on fire? While she and her friends are rambunctious and destructive, I hardly think she's that malicious at all!"

I looked to her and arched an eyebrow. "Tell me, have you noticed things around her catching fire before now? Or things just being subjected to more heat than usual?"

Rarity put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Now that you mention it, there was the time she managed to burn an entire breakfast she was trying to cook for me."

"I'm not sure how-"

"Even the juice," Rarity deadpanned.

I blinked at that before smiling. "Proof, then! And the other Crusaders could join her, if given the right...nudge, I suppose you could say."

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity looked to one another before putting on very large and very false smiles. "And what would it take to convince you not to give them that nudge, dear? Because they cause enough catastrophes and damages without any extra help."

I shook my head at that. "It's out of my hands. If they get exposed to enough Elemental energy in any form, then we'll have some new Adepts in town. And at that point, it'd be better to train them. If only to minimize collateral."

The mares exchanged another look and sighed, realizing the matter was as closed as it was going to get. I turned my attention back to Twilight, who had been making a few notes, and smiled at her. She realized I'd seen and attempted to put the notes out of sight, but I held up a hoof to stop her.

"In all honesty, that's a bit of what I'm here to talk about. Feel free."

She actually seemed to break for a moment while her brain processed what I'd just said. I smiled at her and timed how long it would take. Ten seconds after I'd finished talking, I got a response.

"You...don't mind?"

I shook my head. "Nope. If anything, this helps, having more viewpoints than just Measured's." I shot a glare at her, and she winced at my next words. "I just didn't care for how you went about getting that data previously. But if you're willing to try again, properly this time, then so am I."

Twilight blinked a few more times, then smiled and slowly extended a hoof. "Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Student of Celestia in the magic of friendship."

I smiled and met her hoof with my own. "Hi, my name is Auric Fulcrum, wielder of Alchemy, master of Psynergy, and also a dimensionally displaced former biped."

And from there, a proper friendship / case study began. On both our parts.

So the first thing we learned about me was my coat. Rather simple. Dash was the unwitting test subject.

Apparently she didn't take my 'master of psy-whatever' to mean much, and made to sneak attack me. To test my reflexes. And 'awesomeness.'

Totally calling it: she just wanted to see if I would be a good sparring buddy. It wasn't her ego at all.

At the last second, I felt something off with the air behind me, and my coat reacted.

Her hoof impacted the back of my head, but there was no pain. Just a dull 'tink' sound, and a strange current of energy that flowed through both me and my coat.

I twisted my neck to cast an eye on Dash, who was frowning, upset that she'd not garnered the response she was looking for. She moved to attack me again, this time on the leg, and we all got to see what happened this time.

Just before her hoof impacted me, there was a pulse that rippled through my coat, a slight drain on my reserves, and the coat where her hoof impacted...merged, and gained this metallic sheen to it. Again, there was the noise as hoof impacted coat, if it was that anymore.

Dash removed her hoof and I looked at the spot, watching the merged strands unravel back into individual hairs. I looked back to Twi with a grin.

"So we've just learned my coat is a reactive suit of armor, which would explain quite a few of those strange readings you got from it."

Twilight merely nodded, her eyes focused on the spot. A quill and scroll hovered nearby, rapidly noting the phenomena down. I can only guess that she's making some sort of Compendium Auric with such findings. Dash was bemused, Pinkie was excited, and the rest had dropped jaws again. I swear they're going to lose their jaws if they keep dropping them.

Pinkie rushed over and began poking me all over. Surprisingly, there was no reaction from the coat at all. "Oooo, will this trigger it? How about this? Or this?"

Needless to say, she eventually poked me in the ribs, and I didn't quite manage to stifle a giggle. Pinkie paused in her poking proclivity and turned what I can only term an evil smirk with a raised eyebrow up to me. I answered her unasked question with two simple words.

"Ribs're ticklish."

Dash and Pinkie shared a glance, and now they both sported evil smiles. I caught on to their intent far too late, though.

Before I could raise a word of protest, the library was filled with my laughter.

...And all in all, I would look back on this day fondly. Despite the fact that none of the mares let up, all of them joined in, and it became an all-out tickle-war. Followed by an all-out pillow-fight when Pinkie pulled a few out from hammerspace.

...It was still the first legitimate unplanned fun I'd had in my new form. And I liked it.

Author's Note

Will the owners of the OC's that made up the former Newvale Adventuring Troupe (NAT) please make themselves known?
Fer reference, this refers to Frostfall, Flare, Moonfire, and Talos. The changeling, griffon, pegasus, and earth pony.
One of the more avid readers/contributors wants to write a side chapter and either requires your input, or your names so credit can be given.

Chapter 10 - Well, that was less painful than I thought it'd be
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 10 - Well, that was less painful than I thought it'd be

After the madness subsided and Twi got her library in, more or less, order, we conducted a quick test with my hooves.

Said test was comprised of me sticking my right forehoof in a machine designed to read magical levels and activating its ability. Why said machine was in the basement, I will never know.

"Seriously, I get why you want to know. But what I want to know is what you'll do with the knowledge once you have it."

Twilight shot a slight glare at me when she realized I'd deliberately avoided using the word 'understand'. "Mostly I'm going to note it down and make sure that you know what I find out. I...might look into recreating it, in my spare time."

I chuckled a bit at that. "You've tasted the power, now you want to know how to recreate it. Can't say I didn't see that coming. Word of warning, though?"

At her nod, I continued. "Discord became the cooky Lord of Chaos. Luna turned into Nightmare Moon under its influence, which took the Elements of Harmony to purge from her. And Omega...well, let's not go into him. If you aren't careful with what you seek, the boundless potential contained within will drive you mad."

Twilight actually backed up a step. Good, she's learning respect. "What...how can you know so much about it?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Because Eureka contains my moment of madness. I asked a question, the Question, of how everything works. The Answer drove me mad. From the subatomic to the Multiverse, I was treated to a rapid-fire view of how it all ties together. And thus Eureka latched on to it, preserving it and sharing my 'enlightenment' with anyone foolish enough to touch my sword."

Twilight was visibly paler and backing further away towards the upstairs when I waved my other forehoof at her. "You don't have to worry. Over my time with it, we've gained a working relationship, me and Eureka. It just seems to be more...mischevious when its taking the place of my hooves. I can control and direct it, to a degree. You're not in any danger by just standing there."

Twilight gulped, nodded a few times, visibly steeled herself, then returned to her machine. "So..."

I rolled my eyes, not that she would see it. "Yes yes. For all the good it'll do you, you can try. Honestly, I think it's a one-off, bound to the artifact itself."

A few seconds passed, followed by Twilight clearing her throat impatiently. I merely grinned at her. "What? I need to find an appropriate phrase. I want to have you remember it."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, and that was when I decided 'fuck it.' "Behold the power of Eureka, Blade of Understanding!"

My hoof lit up with a flash, there was a jolt in said hoof, and all the needles on Twi's machine jumped. The moment she got her results, she was a happy mare. I don't think I've seen that sort of smile on any pony save Pinkie.

Of course, said smile faded rapidly as she actually went over her results, before she sighed and let her head sag. Then she looked at me and explained the cause of her sudden mood swing. "I've never seen anything like this before. The amount of energy that flows through your hoof at the sound of one word...it's like any other unicorn pony if their special talent was some form of spell or spellcasting. I would need to study this for years just to figure out how to define it, much less replicate it."

I sighed at that. "Twi, don't burn yourself out over me. Whether or not you comprehend how I do the things I do does not stop me from doing them."

"But that's just-"

"Pinkie."

At that, Twilight blinked a few times before admitting defeat. "Fine, so somepony else can also do weird things and it doesn't stop me from being her friend." She suddenly gained a worried expression. "We...are friends, right?"

I smiled and withdrew my hoof from the machine before placing it on her withers. "I would like nothing more."

After Twi and I reemerged from the basement, I was treated to a tour of the town, Pinkie Pie style. In this fashion, I was able to learn, quite quickly, all of the things that were located within the town borders.

I didn't get to learn where those things were in relation to other things, though. Pinkie kept dragging me along, quite literally at least half the time, and my head kept spinning. I wasn't afforded any frame of reference or time to make one, either.

Darn you, Pinkie. That enthusiasm makes you so endearing, yet at the same, it time frustrates me to no end.

She and I got into a small...okay, medium-sized debate on where, when, how large, what sort, all the details of, and whether or not my 'Welcome to Ponyville' party would happen. Apparently I needed another one, since now I was living near Ponyville. And was now a pony.

"But it should be in your tower! It's where you are more often than not!"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with a hoof. "Two things. First, thank you for bringing that to my attention, I'll make an effort to not be cooped up in there all the time. Second, no. I would have to invite you in, which ruins the idea of a surprise party."

Pinkie tilted her head and thought for a moment before smiling. "Not quite true. Measured Thought could also invite us in while you were out and about."

I blinked at that, surprised I hadn't thought of it. "Well...yes, that could work. I'd...rather you didn't, but if you're that dead set on throwing me a party..."

Pinkie nodded fast enough that her head could be mistaken for a jackhammer, and I continued. "I'd also rather not have every pony show up if they don't want to. Plus I'm not sure all the ponies in Ponyville will fit in my tower."

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin and hummed for a moment. "Fair enough. I'll just ask around to see which ponies would be interested in the party, then check with Measured to see if the tower can hold that many."

She then fixed me with a steely glare. "But you are getting one, mister, and you'll enjoy it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and you'll remember it for the rest of your life."

And on that...very odd note, Pinkie resumed smiling and bounced off. I blinked a few times, trying to place the familiar-sounding words.

Did...did she just channel Bogart?!

The Mirror is a truly fascinating artifact. Which is of course why I spend at least an hour studying it a day.

...It is most certainly not just an excuse for me to look into the adventures of a certain windy individual. Though I will admit I did miss conversing with him.

I could tell that the mirror acted for the Void Eternal in a similar manner that sunglasses do for the sun: it filtered out the harmful influences, allowing one to see the madness in a different light. Namely, in a manner that could be understood without driving you mad. Or you needing to invent at least a dozen new words to describe the whole experience.

Curious, I tapped the mirror, asking it to show me the world where the chain had come from. It obliged, showing me...

Is...is that Displaced a version of the Ghost Rider?

...Well. I might want to pay him a visit, when I have the time. The very idea of his 'character' just resonates with me.

I mean, just think about it: someone who only acts against the guilty? Who punishes them by making them feel their victim's pain?

Brothers in all but blood, I'd say.

I directed the mirror to the world that had sent the diamond, and there was a lurch. A girl wearing black and gold clothing was sitting, talking to her version of the Mane Six. But there was still a discordant note, a sensation of my funny bone being struck when I looked at that world.

Show me her most probable future, I told the mirror.

Images swirled and shifted before settling on an image of...

Equestria in ruins. Canterlot in ruins. The girl standing atop the bloody, mangled corpses of two alicorns. One with an alabaster coat, and the other one a brilliant blue.

...Damn, she did have a grudge against them. But if they were to die, then-

The images swirled again. Changelings coming in, taking over. Monsters from the Everfree roaming free, no longer afraid of the ponies. The Crystal Empire falling to Sombra.

Equestria, essentially, falling. Ponies were only allowed to live so that a group of unicorns could move the sun and moon every day/night cycle.

...She could destroy all of her Equestria in her mad quest to kill her version of the Sisters.

I focused, and with a bit of thought, I found and directed one of my coins from the Void Eternal to her world. It popped into existence in front of her, and once she picked it up, I felt the connection.

I flung myself through my mirror, following the guideline through the Void Eternal. Finding and breaching her world was trivial thanks to the link she'd unknowingly established. There was a flash of light, and I landed in front of her.

She was probably not all that impressed with me, but the next words out of my mouth...well, she was a bit stunned. Or so it seemed.

"Hello there, Displaced from Earth. We should have a talk regarding your plans for vengeance."

Author's Note

Beep beep!
DJSkywalker726 has asked, and I have answered!
Soon, there will be a crossover betwixt this story and his, Gravity of the situation!

Chapter 11 - Shift the way you think
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 11 - Shift the way you think

“Um, okay, and you are?”

I smiled at the girl and looked at the mane six around her. “Allow me to ask a quick question so that I understand when I’ve come to: what was the most recent major calamity to strike? Talking things like Nightmare Moon here, ponies.”

“Discord!” replied the ever bubbly Pinkie. I nodded at that.

“Whelp, that’s two years I can’t talk about that may or may not relate. Infinite multiverse and all. Auric Fulcrum is my name. Might I have yours?”

“Kat. Kat Shifter,” she replied nervously. I cocked my head at her, sensing the fear. Had only dealt with so many ponies that were guilty, I got used to it.

“Okay, so you’re probably wondering about the whole ‘we need to talk’ bit I introduced myself with. And the multiverse bit. And how I know about Earth and look like a pony. And just...everything. Am I right?”

“That just about sums it up.”

I took a look at the mane six that had surrounded her and motioned to the library door. “Walk with me? This isn’t a conversation that others need to hear. From one Displaced to another.”

“Um, should I be worried about stranger danger here?” she said looking to the mane six for help. I don’t think my chuckling helped matters.

“Dear, I didn’t jump across realities just to have relations with you. Besides which, if the diamond that impacted me is any indication, you’re powerful as well. I just want to talk about what I saw and how it relates to you.”

“Wait, you’re from the void? Huh, when I sent my calling card through, never expected to be visited. At least not by a pony from another world. Alright, let me finish my sandwich and I’ll join you.”

I smiled before turning to Pinkie. “No. Party. I’ll not be staying long.” I then turned to Twilight. “I really won’t be staying long. Answers to anything will have to be gotten from her, assuming I give them and she wants to answer.” I then walked to the front door and sat outside it, quite patiently waiting for my new conversation partner.

She came out a few moments later. “Okay, I’m here. What is this all about Mr. Fulcrum?”

I sighed and looked up to the sky. “What do you know about the Multiverse?”

“It’s ever expanding, ever growing, and every possibility exists somewhere.”

I nodded at that. “Good answer. What do you know about the true nature of Time?”

“To quote a favorite movie: ‘Always in motion, the future is.’ Nothing is set in stone. Is this going somewhere?”

I sighed and looked her in the eyes. “I have a mirror. It lets me look at the Multiverse. More specifically, it lets me look at Displaced humans and those that receive my token, along with those that send me tokens. When I look at some worlds, I sense nothing terribly wrong. But then there are others that cause me pain.”

I paused for a moment to let the implications sink in and let her get a few words in. Terribly rude to dominate a conversation after all. She let out a sigh and slumped against the wall of the tree. “Let me guess, my future is bleak?”

I smiled at her. “To quote a favored time-lord, ‘Time is full of wibbly-wobbly stuff.’ Nothing is set in stone, m’dear. It’s just…” I shifted a bit, thinking of how best to phrase it. “I asked it to show me your most likely future, if nothing changed. Your future isn’t exactly...bleak. But it’s certainly black.”

“Oh, joy.” She certainly didn’t sound joyful. I shook my head.

“Tell me your story. The one that would give you reason to want to slaughter the Sisters.”

“Tell me Auric, did you have any problems with the princesses?”

I actually laughed at that. It felt good. “That’s like asking if the ocean’s wet! I showed up, terrified of what I’d turned into, eventually mastered my powers, and became the bogeyman that scared all of Tia’s bad little ponies. Guess whose side she takes?”

“After working with the princesses for nearly three hundred years, I would have to believe that even an alternate Celestia would side with her ponies no matter the circumstances.”

I smiled and nodded at her. “Correct. So Tia and Lulu finally catch me and succeed in besting me. Guess what my sentence is? No, wait, don’t bother. They chained me up and locked me in their basement for fifteen hundred years. I got the impression they forgot about me until I walked back up to their faces. Were it not for Dissy, I’d still be chained up.”

I then looked her in the eyes. “And you know what? I never hated them for it.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Woo, fifteen hundred years? Damn, and I thought being trapped in stone for a thousand was rough. And you call Discord that, too? Huh, maybe I need to come up with something more creative. You know, if he is ever set free again. Though, I sorta envy you, Auric.”

I looked at her sadly. “Is it because I forgave them, despite what they did?”

“No, because you didn’t have your heart wrenched out of you through betrayal.”

I sighed at that. “True enough. I’ve not been betrayed nearly so badly as you seem to have been. After all, you did just say that. But maybe arriving as a giant headless possessed suit of armor had something to do with it. Nobody got close enough to form that bond, after all. Can’t rip out what’s only recently begun to regrow.”

She raised an eyebrow at the mention of old headless. “I don’t even want to know what you mean by that.”

I waved a hoof. “Dullahan, from Golden Sun. Optional boss. Was my costume at Halloween. Picked up his sword, made a foolish wish to ‘look this badass all the time.’”

“So with you it was a sword, huh? With me it was a plush cat I picked from weird creepy merchant at a video game convention.”

I nodded at that. “Heard that one. Seems the Merchant’s actually a Void-Dweller, he’s Displacing humans fer kicks. Or at least, that’s what me and Xante have figured out so far.”

“Well, I don’t know whether I should thank the guy or kick him where the sun don’t shine. I actually like being here in Equestria, even if I do miss my old friends. Not like there was anyone else to miss me.”

I sighed at that. “I know those pains as well. I made...a few...well, call them acquaintances back when I first roamed, and when I got out, all that was left was their legacy. Rather sad to know they’re gone, but at the same time, they would be damn proud of their descendants. Every so often, a Jupiter Djinn plays a masterful prank, and I swear I see Puck for a moment.”

“Well, I’m glad you at least have something to remember your friends by. Celestia and Luna took the only friend I had away from me. I don’t have anything to remember him by except my memories and my burning hatred.”

I cocked my head and looked up at her. “They’re called ‘memorials’ fer a reason, Kat. That way, even if you’re not there, others can learn of what he meant to you. That way, he’ll live on in more hearts and minds than just yours.”

“Dusty was much more than that, Auric. He was family to me, and Celestia and Luna killed him right in front of me without so much as a reason or warning. Only now do I find out they did it on accident and it was because of what happened in Trottingham so long ago. A memorial won’t help either, as reading of what the legends of me detail, Dusty is not included at all. He always was such a sly cat.”

I walked up to her and put a hoof on one of her knees. “Then make them remember. Make them revise the tales. Tell them what he meant to you. After all, if I’ve been reading between the lines, you’re a living legend returned to life. They’d be idiots to doubt your word!”

“No, they wouldn’t. All of the higher ups of Equestria’s allies know what happened at the Trottingham Massacre. It was on that day that I was forced into retirement and my word was dishonored amongst all ranks. You weren’t there, Auric. You didn’t see what I did.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. “I don’t have to have been there to know it weighs heavily on you if you avoid talking about it. That just screams ‘I’ve done unnamable acts.’ And you think it’ll phase me at all. You really do.”

“Do you really think the extinction of entire sentient species is an easy thing to bring up in conversation?”

I smiled at her. This wasn’t a kind or happy smile. This was a smile I reserved for this particular line of conversation, to let people know how bonkers I was. “My dear. I’m more crazy than you could know about. After all, I only did ask an innocent question back on Earth, and get an answer for it. Tell me, what do you think the answer to the question of ‘how does everything work’ would do to a mortal mind?”

“Heh, so you went bat shit insane, too, eh? Small multiverse. I guess having emotional issues, then becoming immortal, and then being sealed in stone for a thousand years and some change really doesn’t help with therapy. Though it was fun after the, I’m guessing five hundred years since I was insane for the first half. Sanity is only fun once you’ve gone insane after all.”

“Sanity is overrated,” I stated with a hoof-wave. “It’s learning to balance your madness with the rest of your tattered, shredded mind. Now there’s where the fun lies. Oh, and did I happen to mention that my sword caught on to the moment when I comprehended everything? Yeah, became a bit of an issue when anyone who touched it experienced it as well. Damn crystal-blue joker.”

“Hold on, crystal-blue? As in the same color as your hooves?”

I smiled at her. “And now you’re catching on! Don’t worry, Eureka is more harmless in this form. It takes a codeword to unleash his potential, and I have to speak it.”

“Good, but if you use it on me, you’ll learn just exactly how it feels to be a pancake.” Kat’s hands glowed a reddish-black aura just to prove a point. I shook my head up at her.

“Wasn’t going to. But the knowledge I have of how things actually work tie in with how the mirror works. I saw your most probable future, I mentioned. I want to know: what would it take for you to not want to kill the Sisters anymore? Anything. Anything at all. Because believe me, you really don’t want to know what I saw.”

“Actually, now I kinda do. I am not really worried about the movement of the sun and moon because I know other unicorns can do it. Can’t be that bad, right?” Oh, you naive child.

I looked up at her and killed all expression on my face as I began reciting what I’d seen. “Monsters from the borders, smelling, sensing, I don’t know which, that the Sisters aren’t there to protect their ponies, decide it’s snacktime. An ancient empire reappears in the north, and with no pony in charge, falls to the darkness, casting the world into depression with it. And a wedding gets interrupted by the changelings, who take over. Who win.”

“I hate to say it, but you’re mirror must be broken.”

I shook my head at her. “Happened to me too, except with the sisters, the changelings were fought off. I might’ve dabbled a bit, but I’m pretty sure I was unnecessary. They, however, are the heart of the country. Without them to lead…”

“That’s not what I meant. The changelings can’t invade Equestria.”

I looked at her face, studying it for clues. That twinge there. That far off look. The same way she’d looked when she talked about exterminating an entire species. “You...oh that’s rich. You actually think you killed them all?”

“Have you ever heard of a black hole, Auric?”

I waved a hoof at her. “How or what you did doesn’t matter if there was more than one Hive. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about changelings, it’s that they adapt to their surroundings. If anything, your little battle at Trottingham probably set the rest of them on track to hide and blend in more than...whatever led into it.”

“I never said that I stopped at Trottingham.”

I looked up at her and smiled again. “Really now. Going to those sorts of lengths. On the one hand, you’re impressive. But on the other…”

I gained a darker countenance as I called up my power, all that I could of it. “I’ve actually made peace with my world’s changelings. So I’m wondering here. Just how extreme did you go? Did you kill their little ones? Did you hunt down every queen? Did you crush them with your strength? Oh, do tell me if I’m being too graphic here.”

“Not graphic enough, actually. There used to be five changeling hives on Equis. Within twenty-four hours all that remained of them were craters. I couldn’t control myself, Auric. That was the first time I activated my black hole, and not even Dusty could get me snappe out of it. I just kept hearing the screams of foals, over and over in my head as I took down each and every changeling I saw. No one was safe.”

I nodded at her. “PTSD, you have it bad. You’re home, but your mind is still at war. You can’t not be in a combat situation. I think the best treatments would be isolation from elements you perceive to be hostile, or gradual re-introduction to those elements. I should know...I...I still react that way sometimes myself. To a lesser degree, but it’s there.”

I heard a snort coming from the young girl. I turn to look back up at her and see she is starting to laugh. “PTSD? Really? After fighting war after war, you think I really am still affected by that? Puhlease, you should have seen me after the first living being I killed. No, my guilt over the changelings, is because, because, well…”

I wait a moment, before deciding to interrupt her. “Tell me, have you reacted to any species that, before your isolation, was hostile, before you actually got to know if said being was hostile in a hostile manner?”

“Whether you believe me or not, I am no murderer. Even on the front lines, I always gave my enemies the chance to back down. If they ran, they ran. But if they chose battle, I put them in their place. The changelings were different. I never should have let my rage control me. I destroyed four innocent hives because of the actions of one. No matter how gruesome that hive acted. Though, it still gives me nightmares seeing those things draining love from the ponies like they were vampires.”

I sighed and looked up at her. “I’m not hearing an answer to my question. And killing never ever sits well with anyone. No matter where it is or whether you’re the one responsible or if your emotions are. I know this too.” I stared off while remembering Lady Skycleaver and The Wise One. The Newvale Troupe…

“You’re not the only one who can sense emotions, Mr. Fulcrum. Did you know that one’s gravitational field can actually be influenced by their emotions? It’s quite a trip, seeing things like I do sometimes. You have experienced loss yourself. Others who you considered dear friends. I apologize if I am being difficult here, Auric, but I really don’t know much about social interactions. I fear getting close to others, because every time I do, something comes along and rips them away from me. My parents, my baby brother, Dusty, as well as Rita and all my friends back home. I just really don’t know what to do anymore.”

I looked up at her, seeing the barest hints of liquid in her eyes. I sighed and began my trek down melancholy road. “One, I allowed my rage, my darker half, to slay. It was justified, he says. She was going to try to take the Elemental Stars, he says. No other dragon will mess with Newvale now, he says. But I still take the blame, because I walked us to her den. I had the idea to deal with her in the first place. I knew of what would happen and how it could have been prevented. I allowed my rage to take her and decided not to save her.”

I then looked up to the sun. “Another, an invader, wanted to rule the world so as to fulfill his ‘purpose.’” I looked to her out of the corners of my eyes. “I tore him apart on the subatomic level with my newfound, at the time, powers. Quite interesting, seeing as he was the Wise One.” Her eyes widened at my description, though they turned away, as if she was hiding something.

I then looked down at my hooves for the last bit. “A stallion by the name of Omega was studying Psynergy and stole four Adepts and their Djinn and all the Djinn he could get his hands on, so as to drain their powers for his own use. The Djinn he must have thought of as disposable. But when I found his lair, those four Adepts that I helped train, that I sent out into the world, they…” I broke off, my voice choking up then as I recalled the memory.

“What were there last words, Auric?”

I closed my eyes and gulped a few times. “They begged me to kill them. I finally did.”

“You fulfilled their dying wish even though it pained you to do so. Well, that is what I am trying to do as well. Dusty’s final words to me before he was ripped to dust, ‘Don’t let them get away with this.’ So I won’t, not until the princesses lay broken at my feet will I stop. For Dusty.”

I opened my eyes and looked at her. “One, the mirror isn’t busted. I talked to my changelings. What little history they keep is interesting. Especially as in my time, they kept quite a few hives. No less than half a dozen. Granted, they eventually all became less than important save one final one that we have good relations with. So ‘tis highly likely some changelings survived your onslaught.”

“I kinda hope you are wrong about that. Considering how changelings here extract love from others.”

I sighed. “Yeah, not pretty. Mine needed to learn to take up positions where they would naturally be adored and loved for what they could do. Entertainers, healers, doctors. They’re still trying to integrate into society, but they’re making good progress, especially when they learned how to drain excess from the air.”

“You mentioned that they would invade a wedding. Whose wedding? Maybe we can prepare just in case some did survive.”

I shook my head. “Just telling you puts you at risk. Future knowledge is not meant to be acted on. It’s not quite paradox-worthy, but you shouldn’t know. Not until it becomes needed. I’m from at least two years ahead of you, after all.”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like this a tv show, anything can change between the worlds! Just a hint?”

I cocked my head, thinking over the ramifications. “Interesting. You mean you don’t know?”

“I swear if this a ‘bird is the word’ joke you are going to be in space very soon.”

I shook my head. “So you’re from that sort of alternate reality. Allow me to explain: in some realities, there was a version of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. It lines up quite eerily with this world. From Nightmare Moon to the Grand Galloping Gala. I could go in there and reveal things about those six little ponies - and dragon - that they would claim I was a spy should such words leave my lips. Season Two starts with Discord getting free.”

“My Little Pony? That cheesy show from the eighties? How is that anywhere near this place?”

“My reality has this woman named Lauren Faust, Hasbro hires her to redo it, and her version is this place.”

“Hasbro? They got bought out by Kenner in the nineties, I should know. Did an English report on old toy companies freshman year.”

“Right. In your reality. We clearly originate in different ones. I have knowledge about this world and many iterations of this world thanks to Faust that I should not be spouting off.”

“My brain hurts. Come on, I just want to know who’s getting married. Is it Celestia? Luna? Cause if they are getting hitched, I don’t think I can bring myself to beat them to a bloody pulp.”

I blinked at that. “So you didn’t meet their niece. Pink alicorn? Maybe she’s from after your imprisonment. Interesting.”

“Wait, you mean little Cadneza? Oh, so the adoption went through after all. Good for Luna. She needs the love.”

I smiled at that and waved my hoof at her, trying to get across the message ‘now think about what you just said.’

“No way! Little Cadenza is getting married?! Oh come on, tell me who the lucky stallion is! Or mare, I don’t judge.”

I shook my head. “All I’ll tell you is he’s related to one of the mares in there. And think about her talent.” I blinked a few times. “You...do know her talent, right?”

“The only relative of those mares I met was… Oh hell no! She is not marrying that dumb ass prick! Unh uhn. Not happening. I won’t allow it!”

I sighed. “They’ve been friends ever since she foalsat Twilight. They’ve got a good relationship, despite his overprotective tendencies. Makes sense, considering that his sister is Cel’s protegee and his talent is protecting others. He just took an oath to the rulers, and sometimes...acts without really thinking. The invasion won’t help.”

“He’s already in trouble for going against the princesses wishes.”

I blinked, then smiled at her. “Lemme guess, regarding you? She can’t afford to not have a stallion that can shield a damn city as her Royal Guard Captain. He’ll be fine. A few months probation, maybe latrine duty. Who knows?”

“I feel more sorry for the squads he brought along on his suicide mission. I ended up putting twenty G’s down them for trying to stand up to me when it was that doofus’ idea in the first place. You know he actually refused to surrender, even when I had him floating in the air? That stallion is a few cards short of deck. And that’s saying something coming from me.”

I waved a hoof around, looking for the right words. “He’s really overprotective, and really acts before he has the facts. So yeah, not blaming you. But it’s his relationship with Cadence that...grounds him, I think is the best word. He’ll be a better guard for it.”

“Fine, I’ll give the colt a chance, but one hoof out of line and he will be living on the moon. Though, since you are older than me, I want to ask. Do you know the names of any of Fluttershy’s ancestors? Something about her is highly familiar, but I just can’t place it.”

I blinked, thinking on the stories the girls back in my world told me before I started smiling. “Sadly, my knowledge on pony genealogy is rather limited. The only famous pony I’ve ever really interacted with besides the sisters is Starswirl. But I know when you can get those answers. The girls will end up going to Canterlot to put on a Hearth’s Warming pageant. You should go.”

“Ah yes, Hearth’s Warming. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. You know, after Halloween, which I never could get the Princesses behind. Spoil sports. Oh, and you knew Starswirl too? Wasn’t that guy a hoot? Always practicing some new spell, always causing excitement when he visits. Never a dull moment when that bearded bastard walks in the door, that’s for sure.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I wouldn’t say I knew him. I met him. Princesses sicced him on me to figure out just how I do the things I do. I gave him the basics without telling him anything, and he said ‘well that’s not proper magic. Would you like me to teach you?’” I snorted at the memory. “I still see a lot of him in Twilight.”

“Yeah, he tried studying me, too. Only for us, we ended up stuck to the ceiling of the grand ballroom for four hours. Took that long just to get the princesses to stop laughing their asses off. I wonder if Twilight is a descendent of his, though I doubt it. He sucked when it came to finding a date.”

I smiled and snickered. “While I don’t doubt that at all, seeing his bloodline waste away would have probably made the princesses frown at the thought of wasted potential. I wouldn’t have put it past them to arrange for him to ‘conveniently bump into some mare’. Or if they got desperate to preserve his bloodline…” I deliberately trailed off.

Kat shuddered at the thought. “Thank you, Auric, for those disturbing mental images. I might just have to go kill them now just to put a different image in my head. Where’s the brain bleach when you need it?”

I snickered a bit before calming down. “It’s called Fluttershy, and you hug her.”

“I think you mean ‘glomp’. She is soo adorable! I just want to hug her, and squeeze her, and call her George!”

I rolled my eyes. “Reel it in, Bugs.”

“Finally someone gets my references! I’ve been doing this stuff for hundreds of years and never once cracked a genuine smile. These ponies need to live a little.”

“Now, you were on about the invasion that’s going to happen. Think. Do you know what Cadence’s talent is?”

“No idea. She was only three when I was stoned, so she didn’t even have a cutie mark yet.”

I sighed at that. “It’s for spreading love wherever she goes.”

“Well, how am I suppose to know that! She was a filly! That’s what all fillies are good at!”

I smiled. “Depends on the age, really. But yeah, it’s what she’s really good at. Now, why don’t you piece the puzzle together?”

“Hmm. Does a changeling take Shining’s place and attempt to marry Cadence? That would make the most sense, well, if she truly loves him that is.”

I nodded while letting out a low chuckle. “That would make sense, yes. If the queen was smart. They decide that Cadence’s talents could be of far more use in the Hive, and that they can get by on Shining’s love for Cadence.”

“How dumb is this Queen? Because the last one I fought definitely fell under evil genius.”

I sighed again while I considered our different histories. “I don’t know. It might not play out like that here. After all, my changeling’s history is different from yours. That’s what happens in my dimension. Yours might play out differently, but take heed: once unmasked, my queen had absorbed so much love from Shining, she stood up to sunbutt.”

“Yes and a thousand years ago, I had enough power to do to Celestia and Luna, together, what you did to the Wise One. It’s a forbidden power known as Extinguish.”

I smiled and lit up my horn in golden flames, picking up a leaf nearby before manipulating its structure in a variety of ways. First, I turned it blue. Then, I turned it into a rose. And finally, I turned it back into a leaf and dissolved it on the subatomic level. Which, by the way, still stings.

“Show off. There’s a reason it’s forbidden. It only works on organic material. Extinguish is the only gravity technique I learned that I regret learning. It rips away one’s gravitational field. As I absorb the field, the subject slowly drifts apart. A slow and painful death that can take hours to accomplish. There is no stopping it once it activates, though. Not like I’d need to use it, however. I have plenty of other powers, some I still need to try out since I thought them up while imprisoned. Glad Pressure went off without a hitch. I could have killed those guards if it didn’t work quite right.”

Once she was done, I picked up a nearby stone and dissolved it into dust as well. Looking at her stunned expression, I explained. “This is my power. The Flames of Alchemy. Essentialy, so long as I keep in mind what I want to do and how it would be best to go about it, no transmutation is too much for me. Matter is my damn plaything. Comes from answering The Question in our homeworlds, ones that are Science-based. Knowledge of how everything works makes Alchemy not-useless.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s cool. Though, at least I can fly! I doubt Alchemy lets you do that. I would brag about levitation, too, but you’re a unicorn right now, so it’s kinda pointless.”

I hummed and put a hoof to my chin. “While unaided flight is beyond me, I could alter the properties of stone to create a stable hovering platform. With work, I could even get it to move while in the air. Or maybe I could just alter a cloud so that I can stand on it and go from there. But I’d like stability, so I think if I do, I’ll go with stone.”

“Sounds more like you’re ripping off Static Shock.”

I shook my head at that. “While I was a gamer, that wasn’t one I was familiar with. Anyways. Like I’ve been trying to do and been continually sidetracked from. Yeah, I get that you hate the sisters. For one shining moment, I did too. But then I did something that I’m sure will get to them a thousand years from now, and I was content. Wanna know what I did?”

“One, Static Shock is a DC superhero who rides around on a electricity infused disc. Two, yes, yes I would like to know.”

I smiled up at her again. Damn, Nocturne, I’ve been smiling a lot since I met you. “I founded a town where Adepts who disliked Sunbutt came together and proclaimed one very important thing to her. ‘We don’t need you.’ While I doubt that there are any ponies here that could use your powers, the point stands. Stay away from her. Tell her you don’t need her. And it will hurt worse than any beating you could ever deliver. To quote Green Goblin: ‘The cunning warrior attacks the heart.’”

“There is one flaw in your logic there, Auric.”

I sighed and looked at the ground. “Do you honestly think Cel’s incapable of admitting when she did wrong? When I presented my case to her, gods...that face’ll haunt me.”

“Not what I meant. Did I tell you what I did when Dusty was killed by the princesses?”

I tilted my head at that. “No, but I get the sensation that this is worse, far worse, than any of the times they and I danced together.”

“Ever heard what happens if you reverse a planet’s gravity?”

I actually backed up in fear before I realized I was doing so. “Damn! Just...damn! Okay, I can see you being angry. I can see you being mad. But that’s worse than Mad Discord! Just what the- you weren’t, were you? You weren’t thinking.”

“Actually, I was. Only one problem, though. At the time, Dusty was a limiter on my power, so when he was destroyed…” She trailed off, allowing me to think on it. I shuddered a bit at the mental images before I walked up to her and placed a hoof on her knee again.

“Did I ever tell you that while Eureka is mischievous and has a code word, the things it shows you cannot be forgotten and are never false? I can also channel it, direct it a bit, show you the things I want you to see, or the things you need to see. I use it on a millennial-old lich and made him feel his victim’s pain and joy, lives and deaths.”

“Okay, that sounds creepy as all get out. But there is one thing worse than all of this. The one thing that makes me regret that day when Dusty was killed.”

I hardened my look then. “Do tell. Your next words may determine a very important thing on my part.”

“The day before Dusty was killed, I snuck into Celestia’s personal chambers. I was bored and had nothing to do. I was just wandering around, looking at the books she kept ‘borrowing’ from the library, the half-eaten piece of cake on her nightstand, but what stood out to me was a sheet of paper on her desk. A parchment that brought me to tears upon reading.”

I paused in forming the mental construct. “What did you read?”

“Auric, it was an adoption form. One with my name on it under Celestia’s.”

My concentration actually shattered. “Then...you think...oh gods. Okay, if I can try to construct this from her point of view? I’ve known my Cel for a bit, I think I can do a good job.”

“...Alright,” she said cautiously.

“You’re a dangerous, unknown entity. Until you decided to fight for her, she didn’t know if she could trust you or not, but most importantly, she didn’t know if she could trust you around her ponies or not. Once you started proving yourself to her, she began to see the value in keeping you around. And once you proved yourself to be at least as ageless as any other being by living far past normal human years, she began to see herself as someone you should, nay, could look up to. A friend, if nothing else. She wanted to be better for you.

“And then she looked at Dusty. She probably blamed the Trottingham thing on him influencing you, rather than whatever actually happened. You already said he’s a limiter, it isn’t that large a leap to think that he would be the reason you would go to such extremes in hunting down every last changeling. She doesn’t want to believe that you have any genuine darkness in you, so she blamed him instead. And then she thought that if he got rid of him, he might take whatever he did with him and return you to normal before it was too late.”

Kat blinked once, twice. “That is incredible how you thought that all out. Although, I never told Celestia and Luna what Dusty was to me other than a friend. It took me a hundred and fifty years just to tell them that he talked to me telepathically.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Probably didn’t help any, that. And if he was just as ageless as you were, they probably saw him as the little imp on your shoulder with a greater hold than he should have had. They probably did mean well. They just didn’t have a lick of what your relation to each other was.”

Kat nodded a little. “I think I get it. Though there is still one question that is nagging my mind.”

“Ask away.”

“When Celestia and Luna brought me and Dusty in for the chat that led to his death, they said that there were several events that had led up to this. I thought they were going to be putting me back in therapy, just to be clear. Only problem is, the only conflict I had been in in the last ten years was Trottingham. They were listing reports from Cloudsdale, Manehatten, Vanhoover, and several others, when I hadn’t even left the castle in ten years.”

I blinked at that, thinking slowly. “It could be...that not all of your power is under your direct control. Hear me out before you scoff. There are two types of Psynergy. Active, which is when Adepts direct the power to any number of techniques, depending on their affinities. And passive, which can do a myriad of things that they aren’t even aware of. From sensing the power of other Adepts to protecting them from truly lethal techniques. The list goes on and on. Maybe...some of your power is tied to your subconscious, and your bad thoughts, dreams, feelings, were changing the world outside the castle?”

“Not possible. Before Dusty was killed, long range gravity manipulation was beyond me. If Dusty wasn’t within ten feet of me, I couldn’t even use my powers. It was only with him gone that I have been able to learn how to use them to their fullest. Thinking back, Dusty seemed quite tense through that whole decade, distant, too.”

I sighed at that. “Budding Adepts are able to things without their direct intention behind it. Only by training and focusing their minds and energies are they able to refine their accidents into actual techniques. This leaves us with two options, then.”

I waited for her to nod so that I could list them off. “The first, which I prefer, is that you were developing budding long-range manipulation powers at the time, but had no control over it yet. Those locations were affected, and the Princesses blamed either you or Dusty.”

“And option two?”

I sighed and looked off into the distance. “Tell me, did he ever have the same powers as you did, no matter how far away from you he went?”

“The only powers Dusty ever displayed were gravity sight and invulnerability. Other than talking to me through a mental link, which allowed me to feel his death by the way (which was extremely painful), he was just an ordinary cat.”

I looked back into her eyes. “Then you have a rogue gravity shifter in the same time as you, causing the same sort of things you could. A pegasus, by the sounds of it. Or, a Unicorn with the cloud-walking spell.”

“I wish I could help narrow it down, but Celestia never told me exactly what happened in those places. Just that me, or something like me, was there causing trouble. I worry about what another shifter in this world could mean. Especially if they are still around to this day.”

I waved a hoof around. “So that actually does narrow it down a bit. It was probably a unicorn with both cloud-walking and an illusion to make it look like you. Or a pegasus with a unicorn friend who could do illusions. And they did it for one reason.”

I walked up to her and poked her in the chest. “To make sure that your and Cel’s relationship was soured.”

“I both hate and hope that’s what happened. When I started to think along the lines of another shifter, I started wondering if another like me had made it to this world. Perhaps one who didn’t share my intentions of befriending the populace. Auric?”

I nodded at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Do you think there’s still a chance for me and Celestia? That sheet, it, it gave me so much hope. I don’t want to be alone anymore, Auric. It’s my worst nightmare come true.”

I smiled and put a hoof on her knee. “Hey, it’s okay. I may look like a pony now, but I’m actually an immortal human with far too much power. I just sorta broke my immortality and drained my power to save a mare from certain death. Once my power returns, I’ll be human again, and assuming nothing kills me, I’ll be immortal in time. So you have me at least. Just keep a hold of that coin.”

As she looked at it, I continued. “And if I know Cel, then all you’ll have to do is ask her to explain herself. Ask her why she killed him and listen. If you can find it in yourself to forgive her for her misdeeds, then both of you can put your names on that paper and put up a shrine to Dusty in the Gardens.”

Kat smiled as she thought over the idea, it was faint, but it was there. “You’re a good pony, Auric. A good pony. Are you sure you want to be human again? I don’t think a mare and a human would be very good mates.”

I sputtered a bit at that accusation. “First of all, we’re still getting to know one another. And second, this is a temporary thing because I drained myself. It happens. If you don’t have enough power in yourself to fight off Equus’ natural Harmony magic, it will change you to fit to be more ‘in tune’ with the natives. And third, master of transmutations, including self, here. I can always go back...once I get enough strength back, that is.”

“You’re kinda cute when you’re flustered, ya know? Maybe you should work on hiding your emotions a little better. Right now, you don’t want to see what I am seeing.”

I grumbled a bit at that. “I swear by Sol, if you start scratching me behind the ears, I will activate Eureka on you so fast and leave it unguided.”

“And I can manipulate gravity until you are unable to move and I can do anything I want to you. Maybe I’ll even bring Pinkie out here. She seems like a good prankster.”

I rolled my eyes. “She and Dash are a terrifying duo. Never get one over on them, you’ll just start a prank war. The only peace Ponyville knows from that is when they’re turned on each other.”

“Should I mention that I had a prank war with Discord before he went all take over the world loony? And won?”

I blinked at that. “Huh. I only barely got to know mine before he touched the sword by accident. I should try that with him now that he’s out.”

I clapped my hooves to my mouth and looked to Kat. “I just said that, didn’t I?”

“Eeyup. Be careful around the balloon tanks. He usually fills them with acidic chemicals. I think my ears are still ringing when Luna accidentally set off the one filled with liquid nitrogen.”

I sighed and looked back to the library. “So. Think you’re at least a little bit more at peace, now?”

“If you mean am I willing to kill them, then no. I am not hell bound to put two alicorns in the grave. Though, I still think I want to fight them, just to get rid of some of this pent up rage. We used to spar for hours on end in our free time.”

I smiled a bit at that. “I should try that when I get restored. But that sounds healthy. And hey, in a little while, Cel will try, and succeed, in reforming good ol’ Dissy. So the option of having an endless prank war is on the table.”

“Actually it’s not. Discord refuses to have another prank war with me. He is such a sore loser! I mean, did he really expect me to not launch the molasses nuke? Really? I mean how could I--” Kat suddenly bolted up to standing, looking off in the distance, fear on her face. “What the?”

I felt...something. I wasn’t sure what, but I knew my time had come to go. “Okay, first, I meant having a war with Dissy against the sisters. Second, I should go, that didn’t feel right. And third, a warning. Not all the Displaced are as nice as me. Beware the Triad of Madness, for their weapons are much like Eureka. Jack of Blades with his Sword of Ages, Pyramid Head with his Knife, and Alice with her Vorpal Blade.”

“Yeah, uh huh. Okay, there it is again. But how? How am I hearing this?”

I sighed and stamped the ground, briefly gaining her attention. “Focus, those names were important! Who do you avoid and why?”

“The Triad of Madness because they are worse than your blade. Now I know this is important and all, but if you were hearing what I am, you wouldn’t be paying any attention to this either.”

I sighed. “I feel something, and it sets off all my senses too, but I don’t know what or where it is. Just...if you need me, hold the coin and call for me, okay? I have to go back now, before whatever this is finds me here. Dimensional interlopers aren’t looked upon too fondly.”

And with that, I pulled on the connection I had to my home dimension, vanishing in front of her eyes. Her next and final words echoed in my vanishing pony ears.

“Okay then! Maybe when we see each other again, you can meet Dusty!”

My last thoughts before the last of me faded from her realm entire were Wait wasn’t he dea-

Author's Note

I kept DJSkywalker up way too late to write this out.

...And then he had to rewrite it for his version.

Chapter 12 - Tying up loose ends feels different than I'd thought
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 12 - Tying up loose ends feels different than I'd thought

A day or so later, I had a visitor at the tower. A highly predictable lavender visitor.

"Twilight, do you promise to go at my pace while you're in here?"

She chuckled a bit and scraped at the ground outside the door.

"I probably should have done that to begin with."

I arced an eyebrow at her as if to say 'no, really?' She let out a sigh before nodding up at me on my walls.

"I do so promise to go at your pace."

I smiled and opened the doors to the Tower. "Well then Twilight Sparkle, please come in."

We entered the first floor together, and Twi let out a small 'squee' noise and went to one of my lab doors. I held up a foreleg to block her before she got too close or got too many ideas. "Ah, no. Not yet. Labs will be last, otherwise you'll not learn how anything works in here."

Twilight huffed a bit at that before rolling her eyes. I walked over to the door and opened it, demonstrating that it was magic by showing the kitchen on the other side. I then closed it, then opened it again, showing off Measured's room.

I don't think Twi's jaw could have dropped faster. "Is that an unstable portal? And you've harnessed it to be a door?"

I sighed as she started to examine the door's frame. "More like...I linked all the doors together and gave them a rudimentary intelligence. They take you where they want to, save if you ask politely."

Measured's ears perked and she turned to face us, bowing politely towards Twilight before speaking. "Ah, Auric, Princess. To what do I owe the honor?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Twi's here to learn, naturally."

"Naturally," Measured rejoined while straightening. "So which would you like to learn first, your majesty? Of Psynergy, of Alchemy, of Auric, of Djinn?"

I perked my ears at the third statement. "Wait. You have notes on me?"

"Considering you're the only one of your kind," Measured said without facing me, "I would think not taking notes on you would be the more offensive thing to do."

I rolled my eyes again. "And what have you learned about me, m'dear?"

"Well, besides the fact that you have more conflicting mannerisms than Discord and like your coffee to be powerful enough to wake the dead and put them back under, not much."

I had to suppress a laugh at that. "Well, at least we've tested both those things, so good on you. I assume the rest is just hyperbole or hypothesis then?"

"Which I will one day test."

Twilight had been looking back and forth as we traded barbs. "Are you two...sure you aren't married?"

Our eyes widened for different reasons as we looked to the lavender princess before catching each others' gaze again. Twi picked up her statement again at that point. "Because you certainly argue like a married couple. And you're living together."

I sighed and pointed a hoof at Measured. "Comes from saving her life so many times and her being the only remaining scientist at the CRA who's qualified to study Psynergy or Alchemy. She's got two images of me in her mind, I think. On the one hand-"

"Hoof," Twilight corrected automatically.

"-I'm this valiant savior, willing to sacrifice so much about myself just to see her safe. Due to the trauma she's suffered, she feels safe around me and only me. She's gotten better about it, a bit. I think. But on the other hand-"

"Hoof," Measured corrected this time.

"-Once she started living with me and working with me, she saw my more casual and relaxed side. The side that, despite what any and all sources might tell you, isn't obsessed with battle or revenge. And I'm not sure it's a good thing that she has. After all, I can be quite a different person, depending on if I'm in public or not."

"Which are part of the notes I have on you. If I ever compile it into a proper book, I'll send it to the Princesses, so that Celestia stops shining the sun through the east windows directly into my eyes at six o'clock in the morning."

I smiled and rubbed my temples. "Oy, I know the feeling. You could just do what I did."

"Getting thick black drapes for all the windows is not solving anything, it is merely delaying the problem." Measured looked at the floor Twilight and I were on. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to the kitchen for a snack before I have to head up to Canterlot."

And then she leaned in, grabbed the handle of the door with a hoof, and pecked me on the cheek.

I was so dazed that I didn't react before the door closed. Twi's giggle broke me out of my stupor, and I shook my head before glaring at the doorway. "You know, if I didn't know that you'd stop me, I would open you up and chastise her."

The door, if it can be said doors can grin, gave off an aura of doing so. I merely sighed and turned to Twilight. "Let's do some testing."

Her eyes lit up in fascination.

"You know," Twilight groused, "When you said we would do some testing, I thought I would be doing the testing."

"Nonsense," I said as I attached another wire to her head. "You've already tested me extensively; now, I get to test you as to what affinity you possess before you manifest it."

"Wouldn't it be obvious? Isn't there some sort of standardized test for this sort of thing?"

"Well," I said as I prepared to turn on a machine, "Yes, but this is more satisfying."

Twilight let out a yelp and I got...oh Sol. Those readings.

I still remember those readings.

"That actually stung. Was that supposed to happen?"

I said nothing, my mouth still slack. I heard the ping of magic behind me as Twilight freed herself from my many, many devices.

"Um, Auric, you've been really quiet for about a minute now. What results did you get?"

I heard her walk up behind me and look at the readings. The readings that should have only had one spike, maybe two.

There were four.

Let me go over why this is impossible.

The machine stimulated elemental charges into the test subject and recorded the reaction, thus generating a spike. Normal Adepts, the Adepts I was used to working with, had one spike. Rarely an Adept would have two spikes, meaning they had a predisposition to mixing some elements. Most common was Venus with Mars and Jupiter with Mercury. Opposites rarely if ever could be mixed.

Ergo, three was unheard of, as it would involve mixing conflicting energies, and one of the conflictors would win out. Four was impossible. Four was me sorts of power.

Four spikes were staring me in the face. I dropped the ream of paper and looked up to Twilight, finally managing to work my mouth. "How...how are you possible?"

Twilight stepped forward and looked at the results, clearly lost. "What does this mean?"

I pointed a hoof at her. "No, no no no no no. You don't just get to do that. You don't just get to ask what something means. The living impossibility does not get to question this! That is my right!"

Twilight actually backed up as I advanced with a manic grin. "Y'know what? We're going to run some more tests."

...Huh, so that's what it looks like when Twilight corners me. Except in reverse. Interesting...

An hour and an exhausted Twilight later, I finally figured out the main anomaly behind the readings I had been getting.

Before each spike in the readings was a slight dip. Since the spikes were meant to measure reaction to elemental charges, it wasn't unheard of for an Adept to absorb some elemental energy. Her absorbing each type before the spikes came in rather than just negating or flat out resisting, that told me her body was reacting to the energy as it was introduced.

"Okay," I said to Twilight as she started to catch her breath, "I have a theory."

"Please...." she panted, "do share."

"Your body reacts to energy as it is introduced, but your affinity fades after the energy does. Meaning that while you have a great amount of potential, you'd need a power source, such as a Djinn, to stick around to maintain your affinity. In theory, your potential is unlimited. You could even wield all four elements."

She merely sighed and nodded. "But isn't that...somewhat impossible? At least as...you've been complaining?"

"Not exactly," I replied. "I have similar results, but I don't need a Djinn to maintain my affinities. Whereas my power is bound to me, yours is highly more unstable. I'm calling you an UnBound. Hopefully the only one. I don't know why you became what you did. I'm going to blame the influence of the Stars, seeing as how you lived in Canterlot for all your life, especially for your formative years, and are in fact highly talented in all forms of magic. Psynergy is seen as another form of magic, so it makes sense that you would be talented in it to some degree."

Twilight managed to get her legs back under herself, even if they were slightly shaky. "So where do we go from here?"

I hummed a bit. "From here, I'd say try to find a Djinn of each element that wants to be with you. From there, you could actually train in all of the elements."

Twilight nodded, finally stable again. "And how would I go about doing that?"

I smiled. "How did you go about making your friends?"

A spark caught in her eyes. "So if I were to make friends with elemental spirits..."

I smiled even wider at her. "Then the testing could continue in earnest."

She let out a little 'squee' at the thought and did an adorable little dance in place at the thought of learning something entirely new. I cleared my throat and waved a hoof at her. "Was there anything else?"

Twilight blinked and her eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Yes! I've written up a few theoretical spell-forms that could help you in your exploration of alternate worlds. Perhaps one could help you find a way back to where you came from?"

As she levitated a file's worth of parchment in front of me, my mind temporarily halted all operations to focus on this conundrum.

Namely, the one of Did I WANT to go home?

A thousand aspects to that question ran through my mind in an eyeblink, but the answer was clear from the outset. I smiled at the lavender alicorn and gently took the notes from her.

"Thank you, Twilight. It was nice, you doing this. And it'll probably help me greatly. I understood the more technical side of it, but I've little experience with the magical side, even though I am a unicorn and wielder of Psynergy. Still, thank you."

Twilight smiled at me and nodded. "Once I find a Djinn, do you think I could return so that you could train me?"

I smiled, even as my mind considered all the applications of her wielding any of the elements. "If you can make friends with them, certainly."

She trotted off, and I went up to my room. I had a mirror to consult.

Damn that gravity shifter girl! She seemed determined to not change her ways!

...I tried. That's what mattered, in the end. And at least the chance of her settling things wasn't non-zero now.

I held a hoof up to the mirror, with a folder of notes written in both Equestrian and English in my magical grasp. There was a warning written on the front of it.

To you who find this folder-

If you are reading this, you are what I refer to as a Displaced. Some of us are being held here, in worlds not our own, by one known as The Merchant, a Void-Dweller of great power. If you can use these notes to find your way back to your relative home, I wish you the best of luck. Either because The Merchant is not to be trifled with, or because finding your relative Earth in all the Multiverse is like trying to find a grain of sand in a sandstorm.

Personally, I do not desire to leave. True, abandoning my life on Earth seems cowardly. But the power I now wield confers a responsibility, one that I fulfill willingly. And life in Equestria is more likely to be peaceable than life on Earth.

To those that want to return, I wish you the best of luck, and tell you that the best of results could be gathered by using something that you brought with you.

To those that wish to remain, I tell you that these notes can easily be reversed and used to shield your home from intrusions. Most notably, Discord could find them useful.

To those of you that wish to try to fight The Merchant, I tell you that he will likely not go down easy. Your best bet is to find the one known as Xante and team up with him.

And to those of you that wish to drag us all back...

Do not test me.

-Auric Fulcrum, Master of Psynergy, Wielder of the Flames of Alchemy, Slayer of the Wise One, Knight of the Eclipse, Lord of Eureka, Blade of Understanding.

I nodded once and shoved the folder into the Void Eternal. I then held up a small tube, shook it once to confirm that the charges within were still secure, and cast the gaze of the mirror to the one place I'd not had cause to look for so long.

I smiled at the moment trapped in time, then found one slightly after it, making sure to follow the boy who had dragged me to that party.

One final correspondence across the Multiverse.

(Half an infinity away...)

Richard started as a tube of laminated wood appeared on his bed. Opening it and tipping it upside down revealed four spheres. Brown, red, blue, violet. Reaching in and pulling revealed a rolled-up parchment. He began to read.

Hey Richard.

It's been a while, huh? Well, not from your perspective, I only vanished last night. But from my perspective, well, things are quite different.

Let's just say I blame you for at least half the shit I've gone through. Long story short, I turned into Ol' Dully when I disappeared. Where I am now, well...I can't exactly explain in a letter. Let's just say, it's far more peaceful here.

Time is relative between worlds. Or it can be. It's hard to tell sometimes.

I'm giving you something that may or not work. You might recognize them, especially if you look them up on a wiki.

...Sol, being able to refer to a wiki...

Anyway! Call off the search! I'm fine where I am! Presume me dead!

...And if you get lucky, fuck things up with Psynergy.

-Frank DeFontaine.

Richard reached down to the spheres and rolled them around in his hand, taking note of the slight tingle they gave him.

"...You gotta be kidding me..."

(Back in the reality of interest...)

Measured sighed as the Mirror rippled.

"It'll be a hundred years before you'll be able to make any more, you know."

I smiled as I drew my hoof back.

"Some things are more important than instant gratification."

Side Chapter - Not an End, but Another Beginning
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Side Chapter - Not an End, but Another Beginning

Author's Note

This chapter was written by shinigamisparda.

Side Chapter - Not an End, but Another Beginning

“And that’s all the pressing issues for today. Does anyone else have anything to add?” Common Grounds asked. None responded. The stallion was about to close things out when he saw their resident shamaness looking rather distracted. “Aboyami, do you have something to say?”

The zebra snapped out of her stupor and looked to him. “Uh, I, um…” she stuttered before sighing. “I’m afraid I do. I… will be leaving Newvale.”

Aboyami sighed. The response had been more drastic than she thought. Everyone was shocked to hear her announce her departure. After explaining herself she retreated back to her hut and examined the scroll with the official royal seal.

CERTIFICATE OF LICENCED NECROMANCY

By royal decree this certificate does hereby grant Aboyami the right to practice skills that fall under the umbrella of “Necromancy.”

This subject is allowed to use her skills, including temporarily summoning spirits and raising the dead for the purpose of allowing communication with friends and family.

This subject may be called upon for other uses of their skills by governmental authorities.

Signed,

Princess Celestia

She sighed. This was what she wanted. It was what she strived for ever since she had joined Newvale. Now she was going on a very personal mission. To allow Talos to speak with his family, even his father, and for Flare’s family to know of what become of her and her lover Frostfall. It was a great privilege to carry their sentiments to their surviving families.

So why is it that I feel so hesitant?

“Mistress Aboyami, are you alright?”

The zebra turned to see the changeling known as Flicker enter her hut. She was an interesting member of her race, having pupils in her eyes rather than fully colored. She was also her protégé and assistant as she had developed the Spirit Sense psyenergy.

“Flicker, how many times must I tell you not to call me Mistress?” she sighed.

“Until you stop making such a big deal out of it,” she answered with a smirk.

Aboyami could only shake her head and laugh.

“But seriously, what’s wrong?”

“I just… I feel conflicted. I am compelled to continue my family’s mission as well as continue to help others, and yet…”

“Hey, it’s no big deal!” Flicker said, wrapping a hoof around the shamaness’ neck. “It’s not like you can’t come back! By Sol, that’s the reason I’m going with you! I mean, I like you Mistress, and I want to help others too, but I wouldn’t go with you if I wasn’t coming back.”

The zebra chuckled. The changeling was almost her opposite in every way: loud, boisterous, never caring much for details. And yet, she was undeniably kind. Perhaps she was just the kind of creature she needed to balance her out.

“Thank you Flicker. Could you perhaps do some packing for the moment? I need to speak with Auric.”

“Oh, so you’re heading down to his fortress, huh? Well, good luck! Make sure not to walk in on him and Measured!”

“Flicker!”

Aboyami knocked on the doors to the imposing structure.

“Just a minute!” came a sing-song voice, what that was not what she was expecting yet sounded vaguely familiar. A moment later a certain lavender alicorn opened the door.

“Oh, hello. May I help you?”

“Um, hello Princess Twilight. Well I-”

“Oh, hey there Aboyami. What are you doing here?” asked a familiar golden coated stallion. It was still rather difficult to imagine that this pony was the bipedal master of alchemy not long ago.

“I came to inform you of something. Did I come at a bad time?”

“Oh, not at all! In fact we just finished and I was about to leave. Hee hee! I can’t wait to get ready for more experiments!” Twilight exclaimed with glee.

Experiments?

Aboyami noticed that despite her giddiness the alicorn looked exhausted, her coat, mane and tail somewhat miffed and unfurled.

“Ok, well I’ll see you later Auric!” she called as she began to trot home.

The two watched her leave before the zebra mare turned to the stallion.

“I thought Measured was your special someone.”

“Huh? Wait, you thi- NO! NO! SO MUCH NO! IT WAS JUST-! Ugh, you know what, just forget it. Come inside.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yes,” she answered firmly. “It is what I desired all this time. And aside from my special services the town will do fine without me. I taught Scarves most of my herbal recipes, and many others are able to create Growth crystals.”

“I see. But why did you come to me? You didn’t need my permission.”

“I just thought you should know. And also, telling you makes it feel more… official. And, well… it-”

“Helps your resolve if you can tell the one you see as your leader?”

She sighed. “Yes I, suppose so.”

“Aboyami, it still feels like you’re hiding something from me. Is there more you want to say?”

“Well, it’s just that… The Newvale Adventuring Troupe. They were the ones that reminded me to continue my mission. However, although I was considered one of if not the most adept in my tribe at our craft I have never used it to summon… summon one I personally knew. When I called their spirits at the memorial you made and I spoke with them, it finally drove home that they were truly gone, that I will never see them walking our streets again. All my life I had been conditioned to accept death as something as normal as breathing, but now....” The zebra shook before continuing. “For the first time I fear death, because now I have those who I greatly fear to lose.”

“I see. Aboyami, I can’t promise that everything will be ok, but I can promise you this,” he began before reaching across the table grasping her hoof. “Not matter what happens Newvale will love you, and it will always be willing to take you back. Those feelings will go with you when you leave. The ones you care about will always be with you. That I am certain.”

It was an undeniably clichéd line, and yet it had the desired affect on her heart. She sighed in relief.

“Thank you Auric. On a personal note, I am glad to see you become who I hoped you would be, even from when you were still Dullahan. Though we may be managing ourselves now you will always be our beloved leader.”

He smiled. “I appreciate it.”

The next morning Aboyami and Flicker, both cloaked in the traditional garb of her tribe and pulling a cart full of supplies, found a rather interesting roadblock at the entrance to town. Quite literally everyone was waiting for them, even Dullahan, Auric, and Measured.

“Thought it only right to see you two off,” the golden pony stated with a smirk.

With that the floodgates opened. ShiverSpine hugged the zebra and Scarves gave her a respectful bow. Amber gave Flicker a friendly noogie before the changeling responded in kind, while Pyre Flare smiled and gave her a hoofbump. Fluffy squeezed and licked the two, and many more heartfelt goodbyes came.

Alright, that’s quite enough, Dullahan interrupted. At this rate they will never leave. The town quieted while the armor stepped forward. Aboyami, Flicker, it need not be said but I shall anyway. You will always be welcomed here, no matter how far you travel and how long you are away. We will await your return with open arms. He turned to the crowd. Is there anyone who would like to say one final farewell?

The was a pause before a certain preacher stallion came forward. Rather than simply come to front of the crowd, he stopped right in front of the zebra.

“Aboyami,” Silver Cross began, using his addressing voice. “You’ve been here a long time. Even though we had out differences early on, I can’t imagine this place without you. Which is why it pains me to see you go. A shepherd always wants to take care of his flock, so he always feels scared when one leaves. So, um… what I’m trying to say is… Aw, buck it!”

The unicorn locked lips with the striped mare, causing everyone to go silent. Aboyami’s eyes widened for a moment in shock and surprise before closing them and leaning in, deepening the kiss. Cheers came from the crowd, including a few whistles from Flicker and Amber.

Silver Cross hesitantly broke the kiss before glaring at her. “Ya better make it back lass, or ah swear ah’ll learn yer arts myself just so ah can bring ya back and give ya good smack!”

The zebra couldn’t help but chuckle. “Of course, Silver Cross.”

“And you!” he shouted, turning to Flicker. “Ya better make sure she gets taken care of or ah’ll be making ya into a pincushion with mah bayonets!”

The changeling puffed her barrel out and gave a mock salute. “Sir, yes, sir!”

After a good round of chuckles from the crowd the zebra and the changeling were finally off, the hoods pulled down on their heads unable to conceal their smiles.

Within ten minutes the crowd had dissipated, and none heard Measured whisper to Auric. “Now why can’t you be that open?”

“Oh come on, don’t start.”

Chapter 13 - Why is it that making things official is so painful?
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Chapter 13 - Why is it that making things official is so painful?

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Chapter 14 - Time marches ever on and on...
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 14 - Time marches ever on and on...

(Let's do the time warp - To the end)

I laid back on top of the tower, staring at the night skies above. They were exactly the same as when I had arrived. "That's just unreal. Except in Equestria."

The faint clop of hooves nearby signaled that Measured had followed me up to the top as well. "Can't sleep?" She queried me.

I sighed. "I haven't had a real need to sleep for a while now. I'm not sure if that's a good thing."

The feeling of her brushing up against my sides caused me to absently reach over and stroke her mane. "It is a shame, you know. Having been alone for all this time."

"Oh, I'm so glad I count," I snarked back at her, receiving a hoof in the ribs for my trouble.

"Stuff it," she said, "You hardly count, seeing as how we've been married for nearly as long as we've been immortal. Nor do the other immortals. We see each other too often. I was talking about mortals."

I nodded absently. "Yeah, it doesn't seem fair that there are so few of us. And all the mortals were too afraid of our 'almighty powers' to give us their honest opinions, much less friendship. I mean, we tried, but..."

She nodded absently. "Fear of our power, of what we could do if they displeased us overrode any chance for us to connect with them."

I sighed as I looked her in the eyes. "For what it's worth, I didn't know when I gave it to you that you would share my condition."

She smiled at me. "Frank, you silly fool. I would suffer this with you all over again." Then she frowned. "Though, when you figured it out, you could have told me, rather than let me outlive the mortal Bearers before I finally caught on."

I sighed at that. "Still upset about that? Haven't you hung it over my head for long enough?"

She hummed a bit at that. "Maybe."

I looked to the moon and realized something Luna had told me the other day. Or year. Or decade. Time runs together when you're immortal. "It's today, isn't it?"

Measured stiffened, then slowly nodded. "Yes. Do you want to go?"

I laughed a bit. "It would be a crime not to see him off. Plus, the others will be there, won't they? Easier to do what needs doing if we're all gathered. The only question is, which form to use."

Measured reached over and bopped me on the nose. "This one, you silly fool. It would only be right."

I nodded, and Measured and I disappeared in a cloud of golden fire.

Time. Time and infertility rates and gender ratios. That had been what killed Equus.

The gender ratios were already well known, and it had been the hope of Tia and Lulu that over a hundred or so years, they would balance out again.

But the ratios only got more and more skewed, and that was when Twi, Measured, and myself devised a test for the populace. Which revealed that not only was there a genetic predisposition to have more fillies than colts born, but not every mare or stallion was fertile. And over time, that only got worse.

The other races had it, but nobody had it as bad as the ponies.

Greed and stupidity killed off the young dragons and a good bit of the Diamond Dogs as they fell to quarreling over gems. The older dragons wept and slumbered, becoming part of the mountains on which they rested. Nothing woke them, and soon, they could not be told apart from the caverns they loved.

The griffons skirmished a few times with the other races, but never the ponies. Probably had something to do with me 'accidentally' coming across their forward camps and them 'mysteriously' disappearing via 'random' acts of nature. Once there were too few for them to be declared a proper society, they moved into the Everfree...and five hundred years later, I went an entire decade without seeing one.

The Crystal Ponies thrived for as long as they could, but when their numbers dwindled too, the Heart could no longer keep the weather at bay, and Cadence had to escort them from the frozen north. After a few hundred years, they had bred themselves out. No true Crystal Ponies were born anymore.

What seemed like all the races of Equus eventually converged in Canterlot as their numbers dwindled. Buffalo, Zebras, and Changelings among them. But nothing stopped the slow, silent death that was casting its pall over the world.

In the end, while they lived together, they all reached old age together, and the last changeling had closed its eyes in Canterlot only a week ago. Preceded by the death of the last pony-zebra hybrid only a few days before that.

But there was still one pony life left in this world.

(POV shift)

Rock Solid, an elderly Earth Pony, walked out of his home at the base of Mt. Canterlot. He cleared his shaggy green fur from in front of his eyes and looked up to the sun just peeking over the horizon.

He knew it in his bones, somehow, that this was his last sunrise.

No sooner had the sun cleared the horizon than he felt more than heard the sensation of magic gathering behind him. He turned to see a sight few could claim to have seen.

First was Princess Celestia, appearing far to his left. Just after her was Princess Luna, followed by Princess Twilight (who had grown to be as large as any other princess from her formative filly-esque days) and Princess Cadenza. From there, the procession got...odd.

Discord, the Draconequus of legend, appeared, followed by another odd bipedal creature. It wore weird clothes, was a funny-shaped biped, and had a sword strapped to its waist and an eclipse as its mark. Standing next to him was a unicorn mare.

Rock knew those two, they were Auric Fulcrum and his companion Measured Thought. Said to be wielders of a strange power and just as immortal as the princesses.

"Rock Solid," Celestia began. "Do you know why we are here today?"

Rock nodded once. "Probably because I'm about to die." His voice was deep, commanding. He'd have used it more often, if there was anyone around to use it on.

Luna tittered a bit at the expressions of shock on some of the others. "'Tis true, Rock. 'Tis nearly time thou shuffled off this mortal coil. Hast thou any parting words? Last requests?"

Rock shook his head. "Don't need 'em. I've been prepared since the day I realized what death was. I always take care of my own business, never leave any loose ends."

"A wise choice," Twilight filled in, "But perhaps you would like to know something."

Rock shrugged. "Ain't no nevermind to me. Once I'm dead, won't make a lick of difference."

"Ah," Cadence interrupted gently. "But that is what we're here to discuss."

His ears flicked. "Come again?"

Discord snapped his fingers and produced a map of Equus. "See boy, you're the last living pony, or, rather, being on Equus. Oh sure, we've got animals, plants, trees, and so on. But nothing with any real sentience. You're the last one, and your death will mean something."

Rock snorted. "I doubt that. Just the last one to the line everyone else has already crossed."

Auric and Measured shared a grin. "Oh, but there will be. You see, with your death, you will take with you the last life we could call on to wield magic, feel love, or cause chaos to any sufficient degree for three of us to be called 'aspects of Equus.'"

Twilight, Cadence, and Discord flinched; they were afraid of what might happen to them. Auric plowed on, regardless of their discomfort. Scratch that, he knew it was there, he just didn't care at this, the end of life on Equus. "Myself and Measured, here, we're more elemental, primal, but all things fade. Even Celestia and Luna, the aspects of the Sun and Moon, respectively, will one day fade. We're only here to see you off, and then, well..."

Measured cut in then. "We have a plan. So really, now that you know your death will mean something, any final words?"

Rock held a hoof up to his chin. "Just a question. What next?"

The others blinked at that, but Auric grinned. "It's a surprise, but let's just say this: We'll carry on the legacy of Equus, wherever we end up."

Rock nodded at that and lay himself down in the grass outside his home. Breathing was getting a bit hard. "Yeah, well, I have a request for you, then. Wherever you get where you're going, do something for me?"

Auric reached in and lifted the head of the stallion so they could lock eyes more easily. "What is it?"

"See about guiding whatever life you make away from all the mistakes we made this time?" His vision was going. Was this meant to happen?

A chorus of "We'll try" met the stallion's ears, and he sighed. "Thanks. It's...all I...ask..."

He exhaled one last time, and knew no more.

(Auric POV)

I stood up and looked over to Discord, Twilight, and Cadence. "We should do this quickly."

Measured nodded and came up to my side. I clasped her right forehoof with my right hand and together we focused our minds.

A mere year after Newvale became a ghost town, Dullahan contacted me, telling me he was feeling weaker. I and Measured showed up and determined that he had become the 'guardian of Newvale'...and with no Newvale, he had no more role here. We gathered up of him what we could, but he would require a host, a living host, to survive. He instead begged to be cast into the Void, to be allowed to dissipate. Measured handled it, but something went odd. She could find holes in the fabric of the Universe, and when we really focused, we could conjure one if we were together.

Which is what we were doing now. A white light blossomed from between us, and it overtook the area. When it cleared, we were gone.

And thus, the seven immortals left Equus behind after a million years of living on it.

When we regained our senses, Measured and I looked around to see ourselves in a white void, with the unconscious forms of the alicorns and Discord arranged around us. I smiled as I looked at the blank canvas around us. "So it actually worked."

"So it would seem," Measured rejoined.

I hadn't done this for no reason. I had actually enjoyed my time on Equus. It's just...

One day I blinked, and realized that I wasn't teaching Sweetie Belle how to control her fire, but a different pearl-colored unicorn with a mulberry mane who could just trace her lineage to Sweetie. I went to sleep one day thinking that Applebloom was making good progress with her Venus training, and I woke up the next training the latest member of the Apple clan. I kept training Adepts, and the world and I managed to create so many Psynergetic devices, or Alchemical machines. I could almost mistake any well-developed pony city for one on Earth.

Time marches ever on, but it failed to take me with it.

Twilight nearly broke every time she had to put one of her friends into the ground. The other immortals, we were there for her, but it was never quite the same. She tried her hardest to be at least friends with their descendants, but when the lines started to end, she felt...empty. Hollow inside, she had said one day. She really took it hard when Spike died. She varied the most out of all of us. Some centuries she would try to be friends with all the ponies she could, some centuries she would shut herself away.

Time kept ticking, but that didn't make it any easier on her.

Cadence broke down crying after her great-to-the-tenth degree grandchild failed to show an interest in her lineage. She even didn't believe that she could be descended from an Alicorn. Because, in her words, 'what immortal would put themselves through the pain of having to bury all of their extended relations? It just doesn't make sense.' That was one of the few days we feared for the Empire, because it was when Cadence fled to cry in the wastes. She eventually recovered, but she kept her hooves out of interfering with her extended family from then on. Directly, anyways. Whenever the line needed help, they would mysteriously find enough to help them get by, in one form or another.

Time flowed ever onwards, and it eroded, but never broke, her heart.

Celly and Lulu had each other at least, and Measured and I coped as well. Discord, though. He leaned heavily on me when we had to put Fluttershy to rest. After a decade, he finally realized that small bouts of beneficial chaos were a thing he could be doing. And with the amount of life in the world, it was impossible that there would not be one pony every generation who could appreciate a good bit of chaos. He actively searched for new friends every generation, and sobbed in the tower once their funerals were over. And he honored all of their last requests, which was not to weep for too long, and find another friend some day.

Time, that harsh taskmaster, did crack his whip, but none of us did break.

We, all of us, worked together. Equestria thrived, and all of us defended her. We made artifacts, learned much of magic, Alchemy, and Psynergy. We watched the world change around us as ponies began to reach for their limits, then reach higher. And yet, we all knew it would only end one way as we saw the trends form. The world would end with a whimper, and we would be alone again.

So Measured and I began to experiment with our ability to call forth a hole in the fabric of the universe. We observed it, measured it, and found how to properly use it. We practiced to the point where we didn't need to expend any effort on calling it up, but rather, we directed our energy on where it would send us.

Together, we had just managed to send the last immortals on Equus outside of not only their universe, but the Multiverse entire. Beyond and Before, or perhaps just Nowhere and Everywhere.

It was a thrilling thought, being somewhere with no real rules yet. Apparently, it was thrilling enough that the others began to stir.

"Auric," Luna began, "Wherefor are we?"

I smiled and waved a hand around in the emptiness. "I've told you all about the Multiverse." A chorus of nods and agreements met my ears. "This isn't it."

Twilight sputtered as the implications met her ears. "But that's impossible! The Multiverse is comprised of every conceivable possibility in every combination or permutation! We can't be somewhere where it doesn't exist!"

I smiled. "Ah, but we are. Beyond, Before, Nowhere, Everywhere. If this is just another Multiverse, I would think we would see some possibilities right about now. But there aren't, because we just got here."

I then cocked my head to the side. "Or perhaps we've been here all along? Time...space...rules...we could do without all of those things here. Our minds are altering the area around us to function as we think it should. It's why you're lying, or standing, on non-existent ground - you think there should be something there, and so this place obliges."

Cel and Lulu exchanged a glance, clearly unhappy with the loss of any sort of order or system. Discord cracked up, though. "Unimaginable possibility, even for someone like you or me! The one place where all of us could have a fresh start! We could do anything! Scratch that, we could do everything!"

I smiled at him. "Indeed we could. But we have a few obligations."

I turned to gesture at the Celestial Sisters, and they came forward to stand next to Discord. "The first thing we need to do is go over our world of origin, and ensure there are no open time loops. If there are, they jeopardize the stability of that world, which jeopardizes the stability of our existence here. You three are uniquely suited for this task."

The trio nodded, the sisters slowly, Discord like a jackhammer. Twilight looked around the void expectantly, and I pointed to her. "If you want, you can try to document this before we begin to do anything with it. That way, we'll at least have some knowledge, going in."

She smiled slightly at the thought and wandered off, and I made to do the same. Cadence and Measured spoke up then. "And what of us? Or you?"

I turned back to glance at them. "I have a thing I need to do, first. I think. And you two can brainstorm about what we will do."

Hope.

That is what I hope to convey with this transmission: hope.

Though your world may be ending, though all things may be burning, take heart: it need not be the end.

My name is Auric Fulcrum, and I am one of the few immortals who knows what to do at the end of their world.

I cannot pass The Answer on, for all beings must come to ask The Question and Answer it in their own way.

But if you try, truly try, and manage to do so and are immortal, then there is hope for you.

Only an immortal who knows how can transcend the Multiverse's rules and laws can survive the End of All Things.

All worlds must end, it is the law of entropy. But if you are immortal, then such rules need not apply, and you can escape the bounds and confines of the Multiverse.

Beyond, what awaits is limitless potential. I stand here with six other immortal beings, aspects of Equus. First, we shall ensure that our old world is stable, so as to stabilize our existence here.

And from there? Who knows. Anything could happen. Nothing is forbidden.

This message is set to broadcast, repeatedly, eternally, with only a minute between transmission times. It will bring that one nugget of wisdom, that one truth, back into the Multiverse, to all that can and want to hear it, for as long as the Multiverse exists.

And that message is hope, for it will not be in vain.

I nodded and closed my device up, then ripped a hole back to the Multiverse we had just left behind and tossed it in. I turned around and put a hand to my chin, thinking. Wasn't there something else I had to do?

And my eyes fell upon another me. I grinned as the memories flooded back, and realized that I was about to have a conversation with myself...

Well, that was interesting. Far more fun to give the bitch-slap imbued with just the right amount of energy than to receive it.

...Maybe I should have warned myself about the ponification...

...Nah. Life's more fun with surprises.

I walked for a short while and found myself with my fellow immortals. They all raised an eyebrow at my sudden appearance. "Truly, there are no rules here."

I nodded at Luna, then at Twilight, who took it as her cue. "Even without magic, you can alter this landscape to whatever you want. It obeys rules because we think it should, yet it becomes whatever we want to have."

Discord and I smiled at each other. "Harmony," I said. "Order for the rules we impose, Chaos for not needing to abide by them. Togetherness. Yet nothingness. A combination of presence and absence."

We all exchanged a glance before they looked at me and Measured. "So what now?"

I looked over to the solar alicorn and thought about her question for a moment. "We could do whatever we wanted. The question is, what do you want?"

They all exchanged a look before Cadence spoke up. "We could...start again."

I smiled at that. "That, we could easily do. Here, we could make a million Equestrias. We could form a realm entirely to ourselves."

I snapped my fingers at the thought. "Heck, that's what we should do. Another realm, another multiverse. Life can carry on here, but we can make a whole new set of worlds that interact with one another in ways we want them to!"

They started to think on that, and Cel smiled and spoke up first. "Wherever we go, it'll need a sun for light. All life requires a sun."

Luna spoke up next. "And a moon and stars, to regulate the tides and keep life at night from being too dark."

They shared a glance then. "And we shall make our world in the image of Equus, and be the stewards of its lights."

I nodded at them as I 'felt' the energy around us take note of their proclamation. I turned to Cadence and Twilight then. Cadence spoke up first. "I shall give this new life we make the capability for emotions, be they logical or not. All life should have the ability to feel and the drive to succeed." she stated.

"And I," Twilight continued, "Will give them the ability to have magic. Because with it, anything can and does become possible, so long as you take care with what you are doing."

The canvas around us 'shifted' again. I turned to Discord, and he laughed. "I'll introduce chaos into the systems you craft, of course! Life wouldn't be exciting at all without chaos! But I promise to keep it tasteful and mostly harmless."

I turned to Measured then, and she smiled. "Naturally, I will aid you and your powers as well as I can. This world shall have Psynergy and Alchemy as well. Perhaps the way they use the Elements will surprise even you."

The canvas around us...I could 'sense' that it was nearly ready, and I held up a hand to make the final proclamation. "All well and good, but that is only one world. This I promise you: whether you choose to stay with that world and be its stewards, or disguise yourselves, or perhaps even let yourselves rest, your world is yours. I only ask for a tower, a place to call my own should I need a place to rest my head should I visit. For I will not be so bound."

I raised my other hand and somehow gained a deeper voice. "Let your template be copied! Let your world not be the only one! Dozens more, I tell thee, shall spring up around other stars, other suns! I shall be the guardian of the pathways betwixt worlds, and visit each one! I shall not interfere in their upbringing, but I may walk amongst the populace to watch that eternal play known as Life Itself."

And the blankness around us...

Changed.

Author's Note

And with this...

...It comes to an end.

NOW BEFORE YOU GET ANGRY AT ME.

Saying things like 'But Thaaaaadiiiiiuuuuus, where's the chapters between this one and the last one?'

...I just can't, you guys. I can't come up with more fluff, more slice-of-life chapters.

For multiple reasons.

First, I'm terrible at it. I really am.

Second, my creativity is drying up. The date thing was pushing it.

And third, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I don't end it here, now, then I'll lose my nerve to end it.

Auric lived. He loved. He guarded his world. He took up his mantle as an immortal of Equus willingly and grew into the responsibilities thereof.

And in the end, he and Measured took the other five immortals with them Beyond and Before the Multiverse and they started again.

...The unimaginable worlds that await beyond, I cannot write. It has limped on long enough, this story. Time to put it to bed.

Chapter 1 - Escape from the hospital!
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

Chapter 1 - Escape from the hospital!

Let's recap real fast: I've existed in Equestria for fifteen hundred (and change) years. I was once the wielder and master of Psynergy, before giving up that strength, piece by piece, to light Elemental Lights, to form the Golden Sun, to defeat the Wise One.

Said sacrifice tore apart my then-shell of Dullahan, but the powers of the Sun were not so easily denied. I eventually came back, in my own body, and Dullahan too returned. After a rousing adventure across a good bit of Equestria, I find myself facing off against some pony who would use and abuse Psynergy, magic, and Alchemy to defy death itself, no matter the cost.

I bested him, but the cost of doing so was all my Tokens from all those others in other Equestrias. Void-energy is not so easy to come by, so that's...one reason I carried them around. Now I can't Call on them anymore. The only token I have of those other Equestrias is a few books from Typhon. In theory, they could Call on me...but, well...

See, I've formed a sort of bond with a mare here. Name's Measured Thought. White coat, black-and-grey mane, brown eyes, flask with some green fluid bubbling in it as her mark, oh, and a unicorn. Recently, I saved her thrice over. As in, the last gambit of the guy who would've abused all those things I mentioned earlier sent a command to one of his mind-controlled minions to kill her, and I saved her.

Cost was pretty high, though. I ended up reaching inside myself for the power that kept me immortal, and broke it. Now, without that power to sustain a human form, the magic of this world...changed me. I'm Auric Fulcrum, and I used to be human. I'm a pony now, though. Orange coat, black mane and tail that turn to gold at the ends, golden eyes, crystal-blue hooves, mark of an eclipse, and I, too, have a horn on my head. Currently, this scares me.

Why? Oh, besides the whole species-swap thing. Besides the terror of learning to do everything all over again while I figure out just when I'll get my human body back. Besides the idea that I'm probably without a good portion of my power and thus defenseless?

"Siiiiiilver Liiiiiiining!"

...Yeah, I may have pulled a small joke on one of Tia's guards with that name a little while ago. Possibly involving something sexual. And now she's here to return the favor.

Being scared was an entirely rational response.

"Get me the buck out of here! Now now now now now!"

Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry, two of my visitors in the hospital, tilted their heads in confusion while their ears swiveled to pick up both my complaining and Tia's cries. Twilight spoke up first. "Why would you..."

I cut her off. "Because I pulled a prank on her and her guards once, and I doubt she's forgiven me for it! And now that I'm stuck as a pony for gods only know how long, I dread to think what she'll do to get even with me!"

I turned to Measured, who I hoped would listen. "Please! You have to get me out of here! I'll come back, get checked up, all that good stuff! I just don't believe I should be out of my tower while Tia's in town!"

Measured put a hoof to her chin while she ran the idea over in her mind. Cel's cries only got closer. Eventually, Measured nodded and lit up her horn with a brown aura. "Fine, but the moment she leaves, we're coming back to get you your checkup. And you owe me."

I nodded as her magical aura encompassed us both. "I can live with that, just get me out of here!"

Twilight and Flash raised a hoof as though to stop us, but thankfully, we both vanished. The last thing I saw of the room was the door opening and the start of Cel's muzzle peeking in before it all vanished, to be replaced by the sight of my tower's walls just in front of me. Measured nodded and shook herself as the strain from teleporting two ponies across town hit her, but opened the gates just the same. She rushed in, and I...stumbled in.

Hey, walking with four legs is not easy. I was surprised I didn't drag myself in. I felt the tingle of my protective spells pass over me and sighed in thanks as they still accepted me for me. For a moment, I was rather afraid.

Measured was apparently fed up with my shenanigans and decided to just levitate me into the tower proper. The doors closed with an almighty 'BOOM' and we both sighed.

And then the bell rang. Measured and I shared a Look. One that quite plainly stated to each other that we weren't going out there.

"I'm not going out like this," I motioned to my new body.

"Yeah, and I'm not the lord and master of this tower. You are. The bell ringing is your responsibility!"

"Look at me and tell me that I don't look indisposed to you!"

Measured cast a, well, measured glance at my new form. She held it for significant amount of time before blushing. I waved a hoof in front of her to get her attention again, and she blinked before looking away, blushing all the harder.

"As I was about to say, this is not my native form. And until I'm either on two legs again or can, in fact, move myself under my own power, I am in no position to answer that ringing bell."

Measured sighed. "Meaning I get to answer the door. Joy."

She pushed the doors to the tower open and walked out to the wall before blinking on top of it. "Oh, Princess Celestia. What brings you here?"

Silence for a moment, followed by, "Yes, well, as you may have heard, Auric is indisposed. He does not wish to be seen at this time."

Another, longer pause. "Yes, that's more or less what he told me. And quite frankly, I think I favor his favor a bit more than yours, seeing as how you can't quite get in without an invitation, which I'll not be giving at this juncture."

I wiped my brow with one of my hooves and let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. "Sorry, but he made it quite clear he does not wish to see you until such a time as you let his little prank go."

Silence for a bit longer then. "Well, unless you make a...what was it that mare called it...oh yes, a Pinkie Promise, the sort that I am given to understand nopony breaks, that you are not here to cause trouble, then I can't let you in."

Sweat condensed on my brow as I heard those words. She wouldn't actually? "Very well then. Princess Celestia, please come in."

She just did. The doors ground open, and I heard the hoofsteps nearby. I clumsily got to my feet and made for the door on the opposite side of the room. If I could just get in there!

It was not to be. Just as I started to manage flailing about quickly, I was snagged in a golden aura of magic and brought to hover in front of Cel's face. She smirked at me as she examined my new form. "My my, I see your powers of transformation are still remarkable as they ever have been. I think this form looks even better than Silver Lining."

I scowled at her. "Remember your promise, Cel. I want no trouble from you on this."

Her smirk grew into a grin. "If I am given to understand the wards on this place properly, then only what you invite in can get in. I could break my promise right now..."

I smiled at her in turn. "Except for three things. One, you have to leave eventually, and then Pinkie will get you. Two, I could just invite Pinkie in if I think you're going to break your promise. And three, this is Pinkie we're talking about. For all we know, she could already be in here."

Celestia hummed, put a hoof to her chin, opened her mouth, and then there was the sound of...something impacting the wards. The three of us looked out the door to see a huge sign had been lifted over the wall. One done in crayon on cardboard. One that read, 'I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, PROMISE-BREAKER.'

Cel wisely shut her mouth after that, and the sign was pulled back down. She turned to me, and I smiled smugly at her. "Like I said. Pinkie. Attempting to outwit her or her promises is never a good idea."

Cel nodded slowly. "I...see that now. Very well. I have a few questions for you, Auric, and then I will leave you be. The pony that was the mastermind behind all these plans and schemes, where is he? Luna only said something about how you wanted to deal with him and that she was not privy to the methods."

I sighed. "I exiled him from reality, Cel. From all realities. He'll never be a bother again. And while we're at it, let me predict your next question: he wanted to take some Water of Hermes, the powers of you and your sister when infused with sympathetic elements, and the power of Alchemy granted to him by a False Sun he constructed, and create Waters of Eternity. While...theoretically possible, and something I'm going to look into when I have my power again, it's also something I think we could do without."

She slowly nodded. "I concur. Housing would become a nightmare, for starters. And feeding too many immortal ponies would be impossible."

I nodded as well. "So. Anything else, Cel?"

She merely smiled at me. "No, I think that covers all of my immediate concerns for the moment. The rest, I can wait for."

And with that, she leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I'll get you one day, just wait."

She blinked out of existence, leaving me to impact the tower's floor bum-first. I groaned and Measured giggled. I cast a glare at her, and she merely smiled at me.

"Come along, Auric. She's left, hasn't she? Time to get you back to the hospital so they and Twilight can run their tests on you..."

And for some reason, I shuddered. I wondered if Twilight had forgiven me for that little stunt in the Archives yet...

Author's Note

Yup, I have no adventure in mind for this part.
Just general 'human getting used to his pony body for as long as he has it' fluff.
...
And the Crusader tag is there for a reason.
One that will leave Auric a shambles of his former self.

C̝ͅh͖ͅạ̞̭p̨t̳̤͍͘e͔r̙͜ ͕̙̺͈͍̞̙͢?̘͉??̜̥̺͕̖ ͍̰̭̫̣̠ͅ-̛̫̦̦͇̼ ͏̠̟̲̱̟̮H̠̻̪͠e̢͔̜̱̺̭ͅ ͓̟̬̭̝̕s̹̥ée̱̹̳̦͞s͘ ͇͎y̸̻͙o͔u ͎̙̖͚̲̲w̥͈͕̱̹̭̥ḩ̥̟̗͓̜̟en͖̣̩͔̫̳͉ ̸͇̟̩͖̪y̥̣̘̰͙̻͔o̬͙̬u͎̲̣͝'͏̠̮̖r͝e̸̳̠̥̲̝ ̣̜ṣ̭̠̺̥i̢̩̹̬͍̮̘̤ṇn̩͕i̫ń͔͙͚̖g̟̝̯͢.̥̙̳̺̩́.̰͙.̺̭̤͖͠ͅ
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The Life and Times of an Alchemist Turned Pony

C̝ͅh͖ͅạ̞̭p̨t̳̤͍͘e͔r̙͜ ͕̙̺͈͍̞̙͢?̘͉??̜̥̺͕̖ ͍̰̭̫̣̠ͅ-̛̫̦̦͇̼ ͏̠̟̲̱̟̮H̠̻̪͠e̢͔̜̱̺̭ͅ ͓̟̬̭̝̕s̹̥ée̱̹̳̦͞s͘ ͇͎y̸̻͙o͔u ͎̙̖͚̲̲w̥͈͕̱̹̭̥ḩ̥̟̗͓̜̟en͖̣̩͔̫̳͉ ̸͇̟̩͖̪y̥̣̘̰͙̻͔o̬͙̬u͎̲̣͝'͏̠̮̖r͝e̸̳̠̥̲̝ ̣̜ṣ̭̠̺̥i̢̩̹̬͍̮̘̤ṇn̩͕i̫ń͔͙͚̖g̟̝̯͢.̥̙̳̺̩́.̰͙.̺̭̤͖͠ͅ

(Paradiso)

“No Mortal has ever killed a God…” Alessa said as the barbed wire around her hospital bed supported her.

“I fear this may be an uprising…” Hermaeus Mora said levitating a book into his slimy tentacles.

“No! My fellow Gods and Goddesses, we will not be slaughtered by those who we consider our pawns! I will not, nay, NEVER allow it! I, Jubileus, the Creator, sayeth and what I say is LAW!” Jubileus, the mighty creator of Paradiso and the Laguna stood up in an outrage. “Never once has a mortal been even on par with a God, now we have one going around and killing one!” Her golden hair weaved around her orange orb, violently shaking it. Her halo suddenly burst into a fiery red orange. “It was bad enough to be slain by a witch! BUT THIS IS THE STRAW!”

“Please keep it down, Eva is asleep right now and I wish you wouldn’t scream.” A man in a purple over coat said, wielding a broadsword and a katana in his grasp.

“I can stomach Hermaeus being here, because he is not of our world, but you Sparda, I will not. I gave my guards very specific instructions to keep you out of here, let alone Paradiso.”

“Please, Jully, is that anyway to treat an old friend?” Sparda said shrugging his shoulders. Jubileus’ eyebrow twitched with fury. “What’s wrong, still hate the nickname? Or maybe it’s because you got your heavenly ass handed to you by Queen Sheba?” Sparda said, waving around his hand in the motions of something flying. “Oh, and about the guards? Find something bigger next time.” Sparda said walking away and opened the door showing the outside. Courage’s and Temperance's laid skewed across the heavenly ground. As he was walking out of the room, a Courage stood up and attempted to crush him. Yamato flew out of its scabbard and just as quickly flew back in.

The Courage seized up before falling into four separate pieces along the ground. Sparda looked back at the closing door before winking and blinking out of existence. Jubileus had to swallow a lump that found its way in her throat. Alessa suddenly spoke up, “Anyway, getting back on topic with the God Slayer. I’ll have Pyramid Head go after this Mortal.”

“And what makes you think your monster of a Protector can do? I’m sure Grace and Glory can handle him.”

“If that is your wish, however I am giving him permission to kill everything that hinders his progress in finding him.”

Jubileus stopped cold. She knew of the demon of Silent Hill and her pawn. While they might not of been of Inferno, they made the place seem like paradise. “Fine. Do as you please.”

Jubileus faded in and out before disappearing completely leaving the Daedric Prince and the Mad Goddess to themselves. “Tis a shame… I was hoping to acquire the “Hierarchy of Laguna” from her…” He said before fading out as well.

(POV - Auric)

I’ve slept before, certainly. I’ve had dreams while in Equestria, probably. I can never seem to recall them, though. Whether that’s the failing of the human mind or Luna messing with me, I don’t know or care about.

This one, though. I knew it was a dream right off the bat. For starters, I was human again, clad in the clothes Typhon had made me, with Eureka in my hands. This was, quite clearly, a dream, since last I checked, I was still a quadruped. Yet if it were a lucid dream, I would have some measure of control, wouldn’t I? And the world refused to bend to my whims.

On a second look, the dream-world around me seemed...I think dreary is a good word for it. Gray fog everywhere, the feel of blacktop under my shoes. Sidewalks, buildings, houses, cars...yet no people. The sense of unease, like there should be something or someone here, sent the hair on the back of my neck on edge.

Scrape…scrape…

That sounds like...a huge metal thing scraping against stone. I should know, I only was a huge metal thing for so long.

Scrape...scrape…

Why does this all seem so...familiar? It’s like there’s something, just on the tip of my tongue…

Scrape...scrape…

A half-remembered name, like dew in the sun, it vanishes before you can properly see it. I could have sworn I’ve heard that sound before...but not in my…

Scrape...scrape…

My eyes widened, my breath caught, and I whirled around desperately, knowing that he was already there, that defense was going to be difficult if not impossible.

I finally put a name to the place, to the one hunting me.

I was in Silent Hill, and I was facing off against the final member of the Triad I had yet to see. The one I had hoped never to see. The battle was already in his favor: I was in his domain. True, it was a dream, but any concession made to him was one more than I wanted to give him.

The King of Fear, the ultimate expression of Terror, he who rules over Silent Hill.

Pyramid Head. A low moan was heard in the distance, maybe two or three blocks away. The scraping kept getting closer, and as it did, my mind whirled.

Okay, my knowledge of swordsmanship is useless, at least, comparatively. That leaves Psynergy and the properties of my sword as things I can count on. No pulling any punches here, then. Wait, if he wields a Weapon of Madness, same as I...oh dear. This could be worse than I thought...

And then, as if said by a thousand voices, in harmony with none, echoing from nowhere and everywhere, came the words.

“YoU hAvE sInNeD gReAtLy, NoW, fEeL mY wRaTh.”

Like nails on a chalkboard, the words unnerved me. Moreso when I realized who had to have said them. I kept my blade level and my head on a swivel, looking for the owner. “According to which gods...that I do not believe in?”

Hey, shut up. It was an excellent retort, thank you very much. The sound of metal scraping on stone came from nearby, and I tensed, ready to dodge...

(POV shift - Pyramid)

Was he playing with me? I am no God, but yet he sees me as one. ...Does he really think that highly of me? I watched as he looked around, expecting to be attacked. I laughed silently to myself and circled once more before I decided to show myself. He tensed at my form, the skin of my victims hung from my waist, I still had a few errant unicorn horns lodged in my legs somewhere…

I used the trick Z taught me years ago. “Why think me… as a God?” I asked, my voice hard and choked. Z had taught me this long ago. Long ago being 2 days free from my stony prison mind you.

(POV shift - Auric)

Well...that’s unexpected.

“Oh, please, Pyramid. I know you aren’t a god. But you’re still someone I’d rather not tangle with, even if you are a pawn.”

I kept my blade level and observed his form. Apparently, he’d had a less than cordial relationship with his Equestria’s ponies. At least, if the horns...and skins...and...bleh, everything, were anything to go by. Just the thought that he’d killed so many, so carelessly, sent a twinge of fear up my spine. And the knife. It was far longer than my own sword, if a bit less...elegant. I swear I saw dried blood on it.

“Still, the fact remains. You’re powerful. You’re here. You’re in my dreams for a reason. So tell me what it is, or I will defend myself.”

“Then there must… be some kind of mistake… I was sent to kill a God Killer, one whose Pride and Wrath surpassed all. All I see is a lost boy with no hope at all…” He said loosening the grip on his blade. I almost opted to attack right there, get him while his guard was down, but who am I kidding? This was fucking Pyramid Head, ya’know? Bane of all Souls, Master of Fear, The Red fucking Pyramid!

“Ah, yes, the Wise One. I remember him. Tore him apart on the subatomic level, granted him peace. Call it what you will, I fucking murdered him, for the good of my world. I never thought of him as a god, y’know, but if you’re here, then someone must have noticed and counted him among their number.”

“Yes… The Elder Gods… The Enlightened Ones… Even my own little Alessa took interest… But what I do not understand, is why she sent me after a weakling like yourself...”

Okay, let me clarify: Pyramid Head calling you weak? Pretty damn scary. Then again, I would be surprised if he didn’t call everyone that. “Hmm. Let’s think. I’m only Aluric Fulcrum, wielder of Alchemy and Eureka, Blade of Understanding. There are so many things I can do in the waking world...once I’m whole again, that is.”

“And what will you do? Are you living only to cause misery? Hate? No… You are something more… What are you…?”

I lowered my blade a fraction of an inch. “Well. This is interesting. The puppet doesn’t want to dance to the master’s tune. Tell me, if you had a chance...would you do as I did? Would you free yourself?” He hesitated for a minute or two before answering.

“...I once thought the same way you did. Freeing myself of the Masters’ strings… But I couldn’t bring myself to do it… I was meant to kill sinners, so I said to myself, “Alessa’s a sinner, why not her first?” It was then I realized that I couldn’t kill her… because she was my own flesh and blood…”

I nodded at him. “Nothing is harder on anyone than betrayal. Especially when it comes from family. I would say her controlling you cuts to the core, doesn’t it?”

“No… She is but a child in need for a Father… A Protector… I was like you, I was a normal boy from the U.S. I made myself a Pyramid Head costume and everything. I wasn’t a father, I wasn’t a monster… But now… I need to do this.” His blade whipped out in front of him just short of me. I could see the ring on his finger burn brightly with a red hue. “YOU ARE A SINNER AND WILL BE PUNISHED AS ONE!”

I jumped back a few feet at the blade being brought to bear on me. Two minds? Or is the character overwriting the original? Doesn’t matter, I can’t seem to get through to him anymore! “All of us are sinners! What of you? Is not murder in and of itself a sin? The taking of life, however sin-filled, is a sin as well!” Keep him distracted, think!

“HER SINS ARE MINE TO BEAR! I will not have you muddle me any longer!”

Ladies and gentlemen, the original has checked out, all that is left is Pyramid. Fine, I can deal with this. Arguing will get me nowhere, it seems...but it gives me a moment to think while I try to come up with something. The way my stuff works, I need his ‘affinity,’ if he has one, before I can try its counter. “I do not seek to muddle, but understand! Where do you get off? Murdering a so-called ‘god’ is a sin, but the mortals that attack you are not? Where is the line drawn, Pyramid? Where is your justification?!”

“Attack the Executioner, and he shall attack back…”

“Surely there were ways that didn’t involve killing them! Dissuading them, persuading them!” Drat, nothing yet!

“Faded Glory! A mare whose Pride and Arrogance left ten fillies dead, all because she didn’t want her hooves dirty! Sunrise! A hateful stallion with an equal hate towards all! He beat his son and his wife to death bare hoofed! Nightwish! Whose Sloth left his squad dead in the forest we now fight in… Do you still believe I could dissuade them? Persuade them?”

I shook my head at that. “Those sorts of ponies, those that I am loathe to call living beings, I cursed. I cursed them with the knowledge of their victim’s pain. I acted out against the living rarely, if ever. Sombra, he was first. Then Lady Skycleaver, though it was under my worse half’s influence, I must claim her death as my fault. I will also admit to a half-dozen acts of violence, but none near as many as you! You seem to revel in it!”

“I am their Judge, Jury, and Executioner. I find those who sin guilty and make sure they pay their dues. Those I find never guilty are the children, whose concept to sin is that of getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar.”

“So, twisted as you are from your base human form, you still maintain your morals. Or is it that you don’t wish to harm any that remind you of the one pulling your strings?”

“SILENCE! YOUR INSOLENCE WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED!” He swung his blade in a wide arc, just barely missing. I yelped in surprise at the sudden attack and raised my blade in defense.

“Insolence? Insolence? There was a time when either of us would be called before a jury of our peers, when freedom, life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness was as much of a given as the air we breathed! When did questioning what the hell is going on become insolence?”

“You speak lowly of her… I will not allow it, for she has been SHAMED enough!” Another swing, but I got nicked on the side of my face. The cut stung, but I could not concentrate enough to heal it, that would mean not focusing on him.

“How can I speak lowly of her when I do not know her? How can I shame her when I do not understand who or what she really is? Ignorance would be my defense, and what I seek to dispel! Call her forth, O Pawn, and let me speak with her!” Pyramid Head froze suddenly, as if he was struck. A low grumble came from his chest before an ear piercing roar escaped his throat.

I crouched and covered my ears before realizing that I was dropping my guard. Damnation! Think think think...okay, manipulate the air, make it reactive to loud sounds… A sudden burst of light came from where he was standing. It burned, but not in bad way. It felt almost… soothing…

Then the soothing feeling quickly vanished as I saw who stood next to him. A hospital bed floated around him, barbed wire coming every which way to balance it perfectly straight up. Expecting a monster, I quickly rose my blade but my shock made me drop it a fraction again. A young, human girl, no more than about seven or eight laid in the bed. She had curly brown hair, a blue gown dress on, and her eyes were almost a… vermillion color.

“So, it was you who called for me?” She asked, in an aether like voice. A name filled my mind from my time with Alice. She who rules the Silent Hill. Of course, the fact that Pyramid had been saying it a few times didn’t hurt either.

“Alessa, mistress of fear and terror, I presume? I am uncertain if it is an honor to meet you, seeing as how your pawn was attempting to give my head and my shoulders some time apart from one another.”

“Hmm, is that so? Are you not the fabled God Killer? The one who single handedly killed a God? If that is the case I am right here.” Pyramid made a move to confront her, but a shot of the wire flew through his chest. “Silence! If he is who we really think he is, he should not be a problem.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I never thought of the Wise One as a god, per se. But if you claim him amongst your number, then yes. Apparently I can kill gods. I don’t intend to make it a habit, unless you threaten me or mine. And seeing as how you sicced Pyramid on me…” I leveled the blade at her and gave her a grin. “I always did want to test my limits. I’ll give you a chance to call this little blood feud off, though. Afterwards, I’ll not be held responsible for what I do.”

“Hehehe… Look Daddy! I’m gonna play with a new TOY!” Her voice shifted from the aetherical tone to a more demonic one. Her skin charred black and her clothes burst into flames. The bed rusted and rotted away leaving only the springs in her back and the frame of the bed. The barbed wires began lashing wildly and cut down some of the thickest trees around her.

Dear lord, what have I gotten myself into? The mistress herself was after me, I had a shot. Let’s hope all gods all vulnerable to the same damn technique. “Seal!” I bellowed, hoping it would take. If it did, perhaps, just perhaps, I would have a shot at coming out of this alive.

Alessa reeled back and screamed loudly, filling my hopes… which were soon crushed after she began to laugh. “Did you honestly think that would work?! I am from SILENT HILL, not your world…”

I grinned at her, despite my situation. “Y’know, for a second there, I kinda did. It worked on...would brother be the correct term? It worked on him, after all, and it tends to work on magic as well. Ah well. Things just got interesting.” Alessa’s wires came shooting out at me like bullet trains and I held up my sword to block them. “Let’s see how your metal likes my Inferno!” The essence of fire filled my sword, causing it to burst into flames.

“Humph, like old Gwyn himself… Fancy you a showoffer too!” The wire wrapped around the base of the sword and then quickly around the rest of it. She was trying to cut off the oxygen from the fire. I smiled again, that’s one thing I learned from Nocturne: Smile, even in the worst situations, because it unnerves them like nothing else.

“You shoulda kept your eyes on me, dear! Ragnarok!” A ghostly blade about as long as I was tall materialized over my head and rushed at her. The blade was just about to hit her when she reached out with her bare hands and stopped it dead in its tracks.

“He’s right y’know. You are insolent.” She said before tightening her grip on the blade and shattered the ghostly sword. I winced at the fact that it didn’t detonate, it was always supposed to.

“Well, when you don’t believe in the gods or their supposed ‘right’ over certain mortals, or have been imprisoned in a damn basement as nothing more than a spirit for fifteen hundred years, you tend to develop a temper. By the way, Diamond Dust!”

Winds whipped up, carrying hail the size of golf balls, before they grew to head sized chunks that blew most strongly around the girl. She winced at the bitter cold and retracted her wires to create a sphere around her, keeping in her warmth. My smile only grew at her reaction to the cold. “Oho, don’t like that, do you? Aligned to fire, I presume, meaning water and ice hurt the most? Well, while Mercury has more healing than hurting, there are plenty of things in that school I can use! Last chance, dear!”

Her face poked out of the wired mess, fresh skin adorned it. “You shouldn’t worry about me, but rather yourself…” Before I could ask what she meant, I felt pain in my back… my chest… I coughed red. My eyes widened as I realized what, or rather who was behind me.

“You’re a fucker Pyramid Head…” He only groaned in response. I had a few things I could try, but if this was all in my mind-

I blinked at the realization. This was in my mind. She and he were the avatars/gods of Fear and Terror. They were in my mind. I began to laugh then as the pieces lined up. “Oh. Oh man. You are both fucked now.”

“Finally catching on, eh? Daddy, let him go.”

I slumped forward as Pyramid retracted his blade, and I didn’t stop laughing. “What better thing to fight misunderstanding with than facts? What better weapon to fight fear than truth? What better weapon to fight Terror than Understanding?” I drew myself up and smiled at them both. “What better weapon to fight you than ME?!” I glowed a godly white as my body changed. I felt the familiar weight on my shoulders, arms, legs, everywhere. I 'looked' down at my hand and saw my shield staring back at me.

Now this is where the fun starts, huh? I asked them. I ‘glared’ at Alessa. I still believe you should go screw yourself, because frankly, gods pulling strings offends me. I will give you to the count of ten, and then I’ll go back to the moment when I Understood everything.

One. Alessa looked at Pyramid Head, who seemed to be talking to her.

Two… Three… Four…

“Enough. We have tormented you long enough and we have both come to the same conclusion.” I leaned forward, curious of what they meant. “Dullahan, you have NOT broken free from a God's control, but rather you are lining yourself up to it.” With that, she smiled and waved goodbye before vanishing from my mind. I ‘looked’ over to Pyramid as my form snapped back to my human one.

“So. This was a test?”

“In a sense. While the higher up wanted you dead… Alessa and I, came to a compromise. We made sure you were ready, and made sure that the ones upstairs don’t hear about this.”

“Ready. I assume, for more. Because if there’s one thing I’ve heard about gods, it’s that they’re a wrathful bunch.”

“So I’ve been told…” Said a new voice. I looked up at Pyramid Head only to not see him, but a man with a short beard, glasses, auburn hair, and a “Zombie Killer” T-Shirt. “Scott Visk, you?” He said holding out his hand.

I shook it. “Frank DeFontaine. Also known as Dullahan, also known as Auric Fulcrum. Only those that I trust get to know me as Frank these days, though. Lemme guess, some part of your costume brought you to your particular Equestria?”

“Rather the opposite… sort of. I bought this ring from a Merchant at Comic Con. Said it was a hundred bucks, but he shot the price down. Can’t remember how much though.”

I shrugged. “So. Are you aware of what goes on when you’re, y’know, your other self? Or is it just him?”

“...The voices tell me to, and I can’t ignore the voices. That choir you heard a while ago? That happens, is still happening, inside my head right now. I’m like a drug addict, I need more so they can stop…”

I winced at that. “Okay, new question. This place looks like Silent Hill. Just...what is your connection to it? Is there one?”

“...” He blinked a couple of times breathing in and out heavily. “If I told you, that Silent Hill existed in ALL realities, would it make you feel better? We have Silent Hill back on Earth too, it’s just ever so rare. You know those reports about people disappearing in the fog? Yeah…”

I nodded. “Well...it could be that there is a Silent Hill in all worlds...or it could be there are merely a few Silent Hills, but connected to all worlds. I like that one a bit more, though...New question. Just how close is this place to an actual Silent Hill, and is it somewhere you can go?”

“You want to go there? Why would you want to… Oh, I see. No, no… I’ll give it to him…” He said to himself? It was as if he was talking to someone who wasn’t there. He pulled out a book and flipped through it quickly before tearing out a page. “Just draw this symbol on a flat surface, it’s the Halo of the Sun. Just… draw it somewhere and stand on it, and woosh, you’re in Silent Hill…”

I took the paper and it vanished, the symbol imprinting itself in my memories. “Well, that’s convenient. But not the gist of my question. Can you ever come here? I’d like to leave a gift for you...assuming what I leave here transfers to a Silent Hill you can access.”

“There is only one Silent Hill… but yes, just draw out the symbol and place your ‘gift’ down on it.”

I nodded at him. “I...I do earnestly hope that you find some way to break your curse. Whether that’s the voices or being her puppet, I care not. You should be free to do as you will. Wasn’t it said by Optimus that freedom is the right of all sentient beings?”

“Yes… but, I try not to see it as a curse and more as a… Game, of sorts… While Alessa is not really my daughter, I treat her like one.” He purred slightly… Which kinda freaked me out. “Alessa was confused, not having her Father there…”

I shook my head at the display. “I’d say our, or rather, your time is growing short if you’re focusing on her like that. While I admit that she is just a child, the way she attacked me proves she can defend herself. You should be her champion because you want to, not because you have to.”

He looked at me with a sad smile and said to me, “When I was a child, I was treated like a monster because I beat someone that was taller than me by about three solid feet into submission. I knew I was a monster, and in my room there was a full body length mirror. I may have been a monster, but that didn’t mean I had to look like one.” He faded in and out and finally disappeared from my sight.

The world started to grow more foggy around me, and I sighed. “Poor bastard. I’ll try to find some anti-psychotics and send them to him, if at all possible. Who knows? Might help.”

The sound of an air-raid siren was the last thing I heard…

Author's Note

He sees you when you're sinning,
He knows when you're asleep,
And if in Silent Hill you fall,
You'd best prepare to weep!
Oh, you'd better watch out,
Think on the fly,
Defend yourself,
I'll tell you why,
Pyramid Head is going to town!

(...In case you couldn't tell, this chapter was written with SCP Pinkamena and is a crossover with A Thousand Tortured Souls Scream My Name.)