Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful what you wish for

Tie in with the Room for Rent Universe

Chapter 2 – ‘First Impressions’

“Sir, we’ve arrived at your stop,” the conductor mare said.

I stretched and looked at the mare that had been sitting in front of me.  She was still sitting there, her eyes wide, a sort of excited painted on her face.  I waved a little and she grinned.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi!  Oh my gosh this is so exciting!” she exclaimed.

That’s when it dawned on me.  My brain finally had the rest it needed to make the connections and I realized that I was looking at Lyra Heartstrings.  My eyes widened as I looked at one of my favorite background ponies.  Her voice sounded just like it had on the Canterlot wedding episode.  She looked at me with a mixture of excitement, curiosity, and something else I wasn’t quite sure of.

“I’m Don,” I said extending my hand.

She placed her hoof in it, a goofy smile crossed her lips, and she promptly began to shake it.

“I’m Lyra.  It’s so nice to meet you Don.  What are you planning on doing here in Ponyville?” she asked.

“I don’t know.  I used to watch the show, and I wanted to come and visit Ponyville, look around, and just take the time to get to know everypony,” I said.

She giggled lightly as we both stood up and started to walk off of the train.

“Not too many humans use that term.  Even most of the Bronies have just about quit using it.  Thanks for being one of the ones who haven’t,” she replied.

I smiled and looked at the darkened town.  It looked so similar to the Ponyville on the show, but there was some differences.  Where the show had been obviously cartoonized for kids this looked more like a small village on the cusp of the beginning of the Age of Enlightenment in England.  The walls all seemed to be a simple mortar and wood creation, and the roofs all were thatch.  Damn, if my old Lit Professor from college could see this he would have a heart attack and die with a smile on his face.  There were a few different houses than the show, and I assumed that these houses had been constructed after the gateway was opened.

One of them was a large brick house with a tin roof on it.  I could see a sign out on the front of it.

“Sunny Dreams Real Estate!  Homes of the future today!  Need a new home?  See Sunny D today!”  the sign had printed on it.

I laughed as I looked at the ranch home.  They weren’t bad at all, and I could tell that whoever had built them had done so in an attempt to make them seem to fit a little better with the local building.  It still looked different, but it didn’t stick out like a normal house from our world would.  I felt a tug on my arm and I looked at Lyra.

“Say, it’s pretty late.   You got a place to stay?” she asked.

“Actually, I do have free stay voucher for the Doo Drop Inn.  I guess that I really should head over there.  I’m not really sure where it is though,” I said.

She grinned and looked at the street.

“Well, the Doo Drop is just a couple of blocks down this way.  I mean it’s right across the street from The Little White Lyre,” she said.

I had no idea what The Little White Lyre was.  It was never shown on the show, and although Pinkie and I talked pretty often I never did really think to ask about what Ponyville was like.  I guess that I had simply assumed that it was just like the show.  Of course after seeing the news release of the first few ponies crossing over I suppose I should have realized that a few things would be different.

Lyra turned toward me and smiled brightly.  I looked at the hotel and it looked more like the traditional homes in Ponyville.

“Thanks for showing me where this is,” I said.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all!” she exclaimed.

I could tell that she was seriously trying hard not to gush.  I could only guess that she had a few run ins with some of the non-Bronies before and most likely came on a little too strong.  I smiled and looked at the hotel.  The sign said that the office would be open at six am.

“Ummm… What time is it?” I asked.

She lifted her foreleg and I could see a slightly glowing wrist watch near her hoof.

“It’s almost four in the morning…  Oh!  You can’t check in yet huh?  Say, want to grab some breakfast?  Sugarcube corner should be opening in about ten minutes, and I know that they should have the first batch of doughnuts and cupcakes done!” she exclaimed.

“That sounds great, so how do you like having humans in your world?” I asked.

The squeal of excitement that came from her only confirmed what every Brony had theorized.  She turned toward me and lifted a hoof to my right hand.

“It’s amazing!  I mean you guys actually exist!  You really exist and I told everyone that you did!  I had told them a thousand times, and my ex told me time and time again that I was wrong, but then I was right!  They wouldn’t let go through the gate though,” she said sounding depressed.

“I’m sorry to hear about that, but I’m sure that you’ve got to meet some humans here in Ponyville right?” I asked.

“Some, but a lot of them want to go to Canterlot, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, or Neigh York.  Almost no one wants to come to Ponyville,” she said.

I almost didn’t believe it, but then the more I thought about it the more that it occurred that it wasn’t so strange to think that.  Most Bronies that were coming over wanted to see the cities they had only read about in fan fiction and never really seen.  I can only imagine what the Crystal Ponies were going through with having this new species entering their land.  The thought of the different cities I was sure members of the Brony community were seeing for the first time drifted away as we neared a heavenly smell.

There are some times that I really do envy my friends.  It’s not that I’m really concerned too much with how I look. Hell, Dr. Loomis was right about not having to check for any STDs.  The way things were going I was going to end up just like that one goof on that stupid movie that came out a few years ago about a dude working retail, being forty years old, and still a virgin.  Somehow I think that they recorded my life at some point.  I let out a small groan and just ignored the thought.  Still, the fact that some of my friends, Louis included, could eat whatever the hell they wanted and not have to worry about hitting the running track too much afterward didn’t sit well.

Sure, I was a little pudgy, but it wasn’t obscene kind of pudgy.  It wasn’t even overly fat.  It was lanky fat.  I was built like a stereotypical nerd.  Kinda tall, lanky, a little pudgy in places, and of course my glasses that adorned my face, but nothing that really screamed for another reason for someone to find another fault.  It also didn’t help that I walked and ran for my exercise.  I thanked fan fiction like My Little Dashie for making me want to walk.

So, smelling the wonderful scent of fresh baked goods made me question if I really wanted to splurge and have a cupcake or a doughnut.  I almost said the most annoying acronym ever created when I decided to just say the words instead.

“What the hell, you only live once,” I said as I followed Lyra.

I could see Carrot Cake and Cup Cake working in the kitchen and a moment later Carrot walked out to the counter.  He smiled brightly and waved toward us.

“Welcome to Ponyville!  What can I get for you two?” he asked.

“What’s good?” I asked Lyra.

She beamed and looked at the newly printed menu above Carrot Cake’s head.

“Can we get two breakfast stacks?  Extra butter?” she asked.

“Do you want the hay pancakes or the normal kind?” he asked.

She looked at me and I shrugged.

“I’ve never tried the hay kind,” I said.

“The Hay kind please,” she said.

We walked to a table and she looked at the suitcase I was carrying.  I had thought ahead and brought my old hard shell suitcase instead of the faux leather one I had.  The last thing I wanted was to upset the locals on the chance that some other theories were correct and leather was illegal here.

“What’s Earth like?!  What’s it like being human?!  Oh!  Is it true that you’ve got machines that can do everything for you guys?!” she asked.

I smiled and shook my head.

“We’ve got a lot of machines, but there is still plenty that we have to do on our own, and actually since the gate has opened there’s been an influx of some of our older technology making a comeback.  The store I worked in was starting to get Stereo 8 tapes back in, and they were starting to re-carry the Walkman,” I said with a laugh.

“I love the Walkman!  They have some rentals at the gym, and I like to get one and listen to something while I’m practicing my yoga,” she said.

The idea of the ponies doing yoga seemed a little odd, but then again I had to remember that some of them had been accomplished martial artists, or at least were on the show.  It made a lot more sense than I actually stopped to realize.  The ponies had a culture that those of us in the Brony community had seen for years.  We had witnessed some of their exploits, and on top of that we knew that they at very least had some basic technology.  Still, even with what we thought we knew there was an entire world over here that we hadn’t even begin to scratch the surface of.

Lyra led me to a table and I took a seat.  Like what I had seen in the show the tables were a little lower, and they were designed for the ponies to sit on the floor, or sit on a wooden stool.  Across from the table we sat at was a taller table.  It was almost designed like a Picnic table, with separated bench seats next to it.  Each seat was connected to the table, but there was a little room between them so that someone could take a seat on their own seat instead of sitting on the same seat as another person.

“That’s actually kind of ingenious,” I said pointing to the table.

She looked at it and took in the sight of the large table.

“I remember when it was delivered.  The cakes ordered it directly from a store called Smiley-Mart on Earth.  Once it got here it had to be assembled, but Big Mac was around and he helped do it,” she said.

“Ah,” I said.

The thought of Smiley-Mart getting customers over here didn’t bother me, but then again if I knew the corporate giant like I thought that I did they wouldn’t have a problem setting up a distribution center here and hiring the locals at a tenth of what they most likely would be paid somewhere else.  I hoped that Princess Celestia and Luna would have the good sense to make sure that products from them could be bought, but the that the store would have to remain outside of Equestria’s boarders

Our pancakes came a few moments later.  Carrot Cake brought over a pitcher of syrup and sat it down on the table next to us.

“Enjoy!” he said.

All of my favorite fan fictions had told me that hay anything was eatable.  That hay pancakes tasted like almost heavy grain wheat pancakes.  I was ready for this.  I could handle this, and I took my first bite.  Every expectation was proven wrong.  This didn’t taste like heavy whole grain wheat pancakes.  This tasted like stale pancake mix.  It had a sort of bland taste to it, and I instantly added syrup.  That helped, some, but it was missing so much more.  There was the blank taste that I could only describe as being somewhat close to stale bread, or maybe recently cooked spaghetti with nothing on it except for just the noodles.  It wasn’t foul, but it just didn’t taste right.  The thought of butter would help, but then again I didn’t want to insult either of the cakes.  Instead I ate a little more and when I was about halfway finished with the small stack I stopped.

“Something wrong?” Lyra asked.

“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t really taste right to me.  I don’t want to insult the cakes though,” I said.

She shook her head, looked toward the kitchen, and quickly ate the remainder of my pancakes, with the remainder of the syrup as well.  Once that was done she pushed my plate toward her own.

“There we go, although I might have to hit the gym a little harder today,” she replied.

“Yoga?” I asked.

“Actually today is Cardio.  I’ve got a lot of running to do.  I figured that I could do it on the treadmill,” she replied.

“Why not run out here?” I asked.

She looked at me for a moment and then moved her front hooves in a slightly embarrassed manner.

“Well…  I would, but I don’t have a running buddy anymore, and it kind of looks weird for me to be running in my workout clothes.  Sure, there are a few other mares that do the same now, but most everypony else likes to run all natural,” she said.

“So, it would make you feel better to have a running buddy right?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Okay, how about we run today.  I did a lot of walking and running back home, and I want to see Ponyville along with the surrounding area.  We could take a couple of laps around, and if you wanted you could point a few things out to me.  I think that it would be a win win for us both,” I suggested.

She let out an excited squee that reminded me of why I had loved the show so much.  I still watched it from time to time, but it just wasn’t the same since the real Equestrians had come to Earth.  That sound, that adorable cousin to an excited squeal was just as adorable in real life.

“Do you mean it?!  You’ll really go running with me?!” she asked excitedly.

“Sure, I don’t mind to.  What time today would be good for you?” I asked.

“Ummm… Ummm…  Ummm…  How about this afternoon?!  We could go about one, run a little while, get some lunch, and I can give you a tour if you want,” she said.

“I’d like that,” I replied.

The two of us talked about the town, what had happened since the gate opened up.  Apparently a few things from Earth had been a bit more accepted than others.  The advent of technology was one of them, but the again so was liquor.  From what I understand there had been something of influx of rum to Equestria.  It appeared that spiced rum had become a hit, and there was being something of a limit put on how much could be bought at one time.

It sounded similar to what happened during Cider season, but the way Lyra explained it if they didn’t set limits then no place could carry it for long.  She informed me that as it was only Filthy Rich’s general store was able to carry it, and even then they didn’t get it in often.  I had thought about bringing a bottle of Captain Morgan from the apartment, but I had decided against it.  The last thing I wanted was to get into trouble for trying to bring a bottle of booze into Equestria.  Now I kind of regretted not brining it along.  If I would have then there was the possibility that I could have endeared myself a little more to one of the locals.  Oh well, live and learn.

We spent the next hour talking, and then before we left I bought the both of us a coffee.  Apparently it was something else that had been introduced to the Equestrians, and it was something that they absolutely loved.  We walked together with our coffees in their insulated cups.  Lyra walked me all of the way back to the Doo Drop Inn and stopped at the front door.

“So, see you later today right?” she asked sounding a little nervous.

“If you want to that would be awesome.  We’ll run, and like you said you can show me around,” I replied.

She smiled brightly, stood up on her hind legs and wrapped her forelegs around my neck.  I hugged her back, and I had to admit that she felt soft.  Actually, she felt a lot softer than I had expected her to feel.  I’m sure that I could ask Louis about this, and I’m certain that he would never actually admit to it, but I’ll be the first to admit that I think that most people are tactile.  We enjoy touching something soft, and I would almost bet that despite what he said Louis enjoyed petting and getting a hug from Pinkie.  Well, that he would if it felt like this.

My eyes opened as I felt a light grope.  I looked down to see a content looking Lyra, and thought nothing of it.  She dropped down to the ground and smiled up at me.

“I’ll be out here at one pm!” she exclaimed.

“So will I!  See you then,” I said.

I watched as she walked off and I walked into the lobby of the Doo Drop Inn.  A moment later another background pony I knew walked up to the desk.  She let out a soft yawn and smiled at me.

“Welcome to the Doo Drop Inn!  How many nights will you be staying?” she asked.

“Well, the voucher I have is for one night, and I might stay a few nights more afterward,” I said.

She nodded and pushed a book toward me.  I saw a pen sitting in an ink well and lifted it up.  I wrote my name, how address, and looked at the place for a phone number.  Once that was done I opened my suitcase and dug out the envelope that I had put in there for the voucher.  I handed it to her and she studied it for a moment before nodding.

“Okay, this voucher is for a deluxe room, so please follow me,” she said.

I did what she said and followed Minuette toward the third floor.  Once there she led me to one of the six rooms on the floor and handed me a key.  It looked like an old fashioned skeleton key, not something that you would really expect to see from a hotel, but I didn’t question it. I opened the door, and what she said about deluxe didn’t begin to cover it.  The room was huge.  It was like they took two of my apartment, crammed them together, and then gave a couple places to section it off.  She walked in and pointed toward the two closed off areas.

“Over there,” she said pointing to the right, “is the den, and over there,” she said pointing to the left, “is the master bedroom and bathroom.  The couch is a futon, so if you have a visitor they can sleep there free of charge.  The only time we’ll charge for another pony would be if we have to bring up a cot.”

I nodded and thanked her.  She smiled, walked out, and left me alone in my room.  I had a feeling that it was going to be a bit more expensive than I would really want to pay, but at least for the night I had a place to sleep.  I walked toward the bedroom, opened the door, and looked in on what had to be one of the biggest beds I had ever seen.  It looked to be a king size bed, and if it felt like it looked then it had to be one of the softest beds I’ve ever had the pleasure of sleeping on.

I walked toward it, sat my suitcase on the ground beside me, and sat down on the bed.  It tried to swallow me in a way that only a down feather bed would.  I stretched out, let out a satisfied moan, and felt sleep pulling at me, and then I stopped myself.  I had showered, yesterday, and I was going on a run with Lyra in a little while.  I sniffed myself and seemed confident that I didn’t stink yet.  With that knowledge I undressed down to my boxers, slipped into the bed, and found the sleep that I was hoping for.

It almost seemed like I hadn’t been asleep for more than a few minutes when I opened my eyes.  The old fashioned windup alarm clock beside me said it was a quarter till one, and I found myself rushing to get out of bed, and get dressed.  I dug through my clothes and settled on my lucky Air Jordans, a pair of khaki carpenter shorts, and an Avenger’s tee shirt.  I quickly dressed, walked down to the lobby and there was Minuette behind the counter.  She smiled and waved at me.  I thought about it for a second and walked up closer to her.

“How much is it a night?” I asked.

“A deluxe room like the one you’re sleeping in usually goes for fifty bits, or fifty-five American Dollars.  If you want to rent it for a few more nights I can set that up for you,” she said.

“Put me down for three nights,” I said as I dug out a hundred sixty-five dollars and handed it to her.

She took the cash, which it was still kind of cool to see that little thumb thing on their hooves, placed it in a metal box, wrote out a receipt, and hoofed it over to me.

“Here you go,” she said.

I thanked her again and walked outside to find Lyra waiting. She was wearing running shorts that looked more like panties than shorts.  There was a white tank top that she was wearing, and her mane was pulled back into a pink scrunchie.  I grinned and walked over toward her.

“So, where do you want to run to first?” I asked.

“How about out toward the south end of town, toward Sweet Apple Acres.  Then once we’re there we can turn around and loop by the school house, over to Filty Rich’s general store, and then come up by the café,” she suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

We started to run, and for some reason I had thought it was going to be a sort of power jog instead of running.  No, she wanted to run, and it was damned near all I could do to keep up with her.  By the time we reached the café I was panting and felt like my legs were made out of lead.  We took a seat out in the open and I wiped some of the sweat off of my forehead.  I looked over at Lyra and she was sniffing the air.  I had wondered if maybe I smelled worse than I thought that I did when she scooted closer to me.

“I didn’t realize that you humans smell like that,” she said.

I raised an eye brow not quite understanding what it was that she was getting at.  She brought a hoof up and touched my cheek.  She pulled it back and sniffed the sweat coming off of me.  I was so thankful that she didn’t try to lick it or anything, but instead she sniffed it a couple more times and then grinned brightly.  I tried to figure out what it was that she was talking about until finally it sort of dawned on me.  Sweat contained pheromones, and my pheromones must smell good to her.

“Chalk one up for biology class,” I thought.