Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 3 – ‘Dating Advice’

I let out a groan as I got up.  The last couple of days I had met with Lyra and we had went on a run.  I had then returned to the Doo Drop Inn, showered, and fell into the bed.  I wish that I could say that I savored every moment in a bed that was softer than anything I had ever slept on before, but my head would barely contact it before I was asleep.  Getting up was presenting me with a whole new set of aches and pains.  I grunted, stretched, and walked toward my suitcase to find another set of clothes.

Digging around inside I found what I was looking for.  A pair of shorts, and I quickly grabbed a shirt.  I hadn’t even paid attention to which shirt it was until I was down the stairs, out the front door, and looking into the yellow and red eyes of a being I wasn’t sure I expected to see. He easily stood as tall as I did, and it looked like he had absolutely no trouble standing on his hind legs.  A smirk crossed his lips.

“It’s so good to meet a fan,” he said.

I looked at the shirt and realized I had grabbed my Discord shirt.  The god of chaos was standing before me, and he seemed all too pleased with himself.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Oh, I should be thanking you!  All of you hoomans, or is it huemanes?  It doesn’t matter I suppose, but all of you have shown up and with no magic at all you’ve stirred up quite a bit of chaos!  Granted it’s not chocolate milk falling from the skies, but it was lovely to watch Celly get riled enough to demand that some of you leave Equestria,” he said.

“That’s something I’m trying not to do,” I said.

“Oh?  With a shirt like that,” he snapped his claws and disappeared.

I felt something slithering around my waist and looked down to see Discord in his cartoon form grinning up at me.

“I would figure that you’d be in on doing some wonderful chaos, or at least a prank or two!” he exclaimed.

“Actually…  I was going to meet Lyra, and maybe ask her if she wants to do something later,” I replied.

“A date?  How marvelous!  Tell me, what do you have in mind to wow your fair mare?” he asked.

I looked at him uncertain of how I should answer.  Every episode that had Discord in it he always caused trouble.  I was already open minded about dating an Equestrian, a pony, so that didn’t bother me, but there was every chance that if Discord got involved he would make things quite a bit harder.  I felt him squirm around my waist, move up my back, and then his cartoonish head popped off of the shirt and leaned against my shoulder.

“Oh, I know, you could visit Ghastly Gorge!  It is quite a sight from the top, and if you go to the bottom of the gorge I’ve heard it’s breathtaking, in more than one way,” he said.

“I’d rather not end up being trapped under a rock, or in the middle of a landslide.  Actually, she did say that she wanted to watch some of the movies that had been brought over.  Is there a theater in Ponyville?” I asked.

Once again Discord snapped his claws and appeared in front of me.  I had thought that he would be bored at the prospect of a movie, but instead there was a look of childlike delight on his face.

“There certainly is a theater, quite a large one actually, and it was built recently.  Tell me, are you going to take her to that wonderful movie where the humans cause all of that chaos because they shut down a device that was holding captured spirits?  That was wonderful!  It was like seeing one of these ponies ignore Twilight Sparkle when she said not to do something!”  he howled in laughter.

He snapped his claws and a moment later I watched the sky turn purple, a stream of light shot up from down the street, and ponies everywhere started running toward it.  Some of them would maybe recognize it, but I knew it.  I had watched the movie a dozen times, and I knew exactly what that light was.  It wasn’t but a moment later several ponies came screaming back toward where I was and past me before the light disappeared and Discord cackled at the wonderful joke he had just pulled.

I thought about saying something, but then it occurred to me that I had better not say a word to him.  Discord was for all rights and purposes a god, and I didn’t have a stitch of magic.  If he wanted to banish me to another dimension it wouldn’t be a problem to him.  I instantly wished for someone, or somepony to do something.  That’s when I heard the sweetest and softest voice I had ever heard.  It was behind me, and I knew without a doubt who it was that was talking to Discord and chastising him for him scaring everypony.

“That was very mean Discord.  I thought that you had stopped doing things like that,” she said.

I turned to see a butter yellow Pegasus talking to the god of chaos.  He looked at her and his smile drooped a little.

“I’m sorry Fluttershy, but if I don’t get at least one prank in a day I start to feel rusty.  Here, I’ll fix it,” he said.

He snapped his claws again and everything reset.  Most of the ponies still looked shocked, worried, scared, but none of them looked any worse for the wear.  Fluttershy smiled at him and then turned to me.  She eyed me cautiously for a moment.

“My, that’s an interesting choice for a shirt,” she said.

“It’s wonderful isn’t it?  A fan, a real fan of my work has shown up here of all places!  And on top of that he has asked for my help in making sure that his date with Ms…  Lyra wasn’t it?  Yes, yes it was.  He wants my help in making sure that his date with Lyra goes smoothly.  I thought that it would be a wonderful chance to show how much of a friend I could be,” he said.

“Oh, that sounds like fun.  Maybe we could both help.  I know a wonderful place that sells flowers,” she suggested.

“That’s the spirit!” he exclaimed.

“Wait…” I tried to say before I was pulled along behind them.  I had a feeling that this wasn’t going to end well.