Chapter 1: The Set Up.

The beautiful city of Canterlot was as quiet as usual in the morning, with all but a few ponies still asleep in their beds. But among those who have remained awake at this odd hour was one of the royal princesses. And she was hungry. Of course, spending the night trying to settle a territorial dispute amongst neighbors in Stalliongrad was one thing that’d keep a pony up, even a princess. However the morning hour was at hand, and Princess Luna finally had managed to find some way so that she might be able to get those stubborn ponies to agree to something. And now, she thought it was time she deserved a reward for her hard efforts.

The head chef at Canterlot, Brown Bobby, whose duties were primarily to create and serve the morning meals for the princesses was hard at work. Luckily it wasn’t so taxing a position, given that the princesses have a high regard for ever changing tastes and so he was allowed to explore the culinary possibilities. Although this lifestyle of a lack of repetition meant that every morning he had to come up with a new breakfast, and the well from which his imagination flowed was starting to dry. He scrambled through the kitchen, searching frantically for something, anything to give him inspiration.

He was interrupted from his attempt to gain an epiphany when he heard the distinctive clicking of horseshoes against the tiles of the castle, signalling that one of the princesses was arriving. This was bad, he thought he had at least a couple extra hours until he was ready, but now he would just have to find a way to stall. Brown went outside the kitchen and to the dining room, and felt oddly relieved to find Princess Luna was the one who was entered. She was a bit easier to deal with, because so much has changed a thousand years ago meaning he could try and utilize any recipe used in this large interim between her banishment and now.

Still, he had to stall for time to prepare, though Luna and her sister differed, they both seemingly enjoyed small surprises such as what’s for breakfast. He studied her meticulously to see if there might be something he could say to distract her. Royal horseshoes of a distinctive dark color? Check. Mane? It was a bit messy, but the way she was straightening it out with her magic so it’d be back to it’s usual flowing, almost ethereal self by the time she sat. And then he got it, something important was out of place.

He turned away in feigned shock and managed to work a blush onto his cheek. “Goodness Gracious princess, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting this!”

Luna raised an eyebrow. Certainly her appearance was a few hours before usual but this wasn’t any way to react. “I was awake all night on official business. I apologize if I startled you. I know I usually come around the same time as my sister, but I thought I would get an early start on the day.”

“Oh, it’s not that.” Brown said, having difficulty hiding a sly smile. His plan was so ridiculous, but Luna has been away so long it may work. “It’s your manner of dress that has caught me off guard.”

Luna took a brief look at herself, though could find nothing wrong. Her hair was in place, blue as always. Mane was still intact. Her wings were neat and proper. And her horn, as best she could surmise, was presentable. “Sir, what dost thou mean? Is there something wrong with how I am dressed?”

“You’re naked!” He held up a hoof which obscured his face, although he mostly did this to hide the biggest grin he’s had since he went to a party thrown by some pink baker in Ponyville.

“Oh heavens!” And Luna was out of the room in a flash.

Once Brown finally could no longer here the rushed steps of Princess Luna, he got to work. This should be able to buy him a little more time, so how about something conventional yet still conservative? A well rounded breakfast of wheat toast, orange juice, and perhaps some tomato slices on the side. Perfect! And in no time it was finished and placed on the table in Princess Luna’s usual spot.

Luna returned, a little bit exhausted from backtracking to her room, however not much else seemed to be changed.

“Sir.” Luna said. She kept her head held high as she addressed him and assumed a stance that nearly towered over him.

Now came the backlash from his little fib. “Um. Yes princess?”

“As I returned to my chambers, it seems it only was then that it dawned on me that most citizens of Equestria do not normally wear clothing, including my sister and I.”

“Oh. It seems it may have slipped my mind. I apologize if I wasted your time.”

“Tis no matter. I did seem to forget my tiara, so I thank you for aiding me in this at the least.”

“Wonderful.” Brown clapped his hooves together in joviality and stood aside as Princess Luna took her seat. “I have prepared a rather quaint breakfast for you, princess. I am quite sure it will be plenty to help you through the day, and quite delectable if I may add.”

Luna looked upon the two plates and the glass of orange fluid in disappointment. This was not exactly the treat she was hoping for. “Sir. I do not believe I have had the pleasure of meeting your acquaintanceship in proper.”

“Oh.” The archaic tongue of the tall alicorn princess was a bit much, but thinking on it for a second he guessed she wanted to know something about him. “My name is Brown Bobby, I am the head chef for the morning meals of the royal princesses.”

“Thank you, Brown Bobby.” Luna looked over. She saw toasted bread, red vegetable sliced up, and that sun golden fluid in a glass. Twas hardly even a meal. “I would like to make a special request for breakfast.”

“Of course princess, anything.”

“I recently finished a rather large task, and I feel like I would like to have a small celebration. I believe that the best way to do this is to begin the day with a wonderful meal, as prepared by yourself.”

“Ah.” And now came the ax. He was finished, or so he thought. After all, how many chefs exist in Equestria? It was only about time until his moment in the sun, or at least in service to the princess of the sun and her sister, was over. But then came a thought, one last thought that could relieve him of having to invent some new concoction to serve the princesses and to keep his position! “I believe I know just what to do. While you leave the decision of the menu so often to me, and you may revoke such a privilege whenever you so desire, I believe that a change in pace is called for.” In a flourish he bowed to the princess. “And in celebration of your overcoming of this adversity, might I suggest you place an order of your choosing?”

Luna was taken aback. A door had been opened to a plethora of options for her. Even in her brief time back in Equestria she had been exposed to so much that has evolved throughout the world, and now she was able to catch up on some of it. She was so caught up in thought she could hardly decide, would she have these new fashioned dough-nuts? How about the mysterious flap-jack? There’s this new thing she has heard rumors of called the ‘waffle.’ Crepes ala mode? Home Fries? Pain au chocolate? Although these names all sound daunting. She didn’t even know if they were safe to consume, especially this alleged ‘waffle.’ But among all the names she heard over her time back in Equestria, there is one she thinks would be the most reliable to have.

“I would like a bowl of cereal please.” She finally ended up saying, much to Brown’s chagrin. And, as if with a second thought, she then added “With milk.”

Certainly this wasn’t much of a test to his culinary skills, but at least it keeps him from being in a rut, so he nodded and said “Good choice, I will return with your meal and you will not be disappointed.”

She thanked him as he left. Soon he was in the kitchen storage. He retrieved a pitcher of milk from the icebox and a bowl from one of the cupboards and set them both on the counter of the royal kitchen. Now came for the moment of truth, which cereal should he get? There was quite a bounty that he could recall to choose from, although he would have to restrict himself to what was readily available. He threw open the doors to the cupboard holding the dry foods and searched through it. He saw flour aplenty, grains of all manner from the many lands of Equestria, bags and bags of sweets and toppings, and even several jars of pickled and candied vegetables and fruits.

He gulped and felt his body go numb from a terrifying realization. The kitchen was not stocked with cereal. It seemed as though the universe was collaborating to take him down, which means that Jeff was behind the controls again. But he wasn’t going to go away so easily, he needed to think of a plan. He would have to improvise.

Author's Note

Fun Fact: While horses are primarily herbivores who focus primarily on grazing patterns as is the case with most of the ungulates, there are several species of Malasian Mustangs capable of cannibalism. Maybe. Probably.