Brown Bobby was in quite a predicament. There was nary a sign of cereal in the castle to be had, and so Princess Luna would be quite perturbed and disappointed if he didn’t find something. Anything. Thinking on the matter, he resolved that anything could pass for cereal, given that Luna likely had no clue about what cereal was given her extended absence. This meant that he now has free reign to serve her whatever it is and tell her that it’s cereal.

He quickly set a big bag of oats on the preparation counter. Now, if he served her simply oats with milk in the same bowl, he knew she would get suspicious. After all, oats were eaten in her day. So he had to find a way to disguise it. Milk has its own texture and flavor and likely would affect the oats, but it needed to be stronger. So he returned the pitcher back to the icebox and looked around. He saw all sorts of juices, a lot of stock for soups, and even molasses hidden in the far back. These would not do, it had to be cereal with milk.

And so Brown looked at the milk selection. They had pasteurized milk, fresh milk, chocolate milk, soy milk, cow milk, hamster milk, and even duck milk. None of these would do, they were either too bland, too flavorful, or just downright evil as was the case with duck milk. But finally he saw a large glass jar with an airtight seal and a label which read “Apple Milk.” This may do the trick. And so he got it out and placed it on the counter.

He filled the bowl with the oats and drowned them in the viscuous slime that was the Apple Milk. It was thick, heavy, and slightly tinged with vile color, and yet he could not discern whether it was expired. But even if it was, it’d at least mask the oats. It was not long until the oats were proportioned with the Apple Milk, and the dish was finally ready. Proud of this minor accomplishment, he took the full bowl and brought it before the princess who had been sitting patiently.

“Here you are princess. This is my own take on cereal.” Technically it was cereal, but it certainly wasn’t the kind he was thinking of.

“I thank thou.” Princess Luna nodded in appreciation and then levitated a soup spoon from the arrangement of cutlery aside her. And with one scoop of the mix, she then placed it in her mouth, tasting this odd assortment carefully. She set the spoon aside as she focused extensively on her meal. She could tell that these were obviously some form of common grain, though the milk was far from something she had ever expected. It tasted salty and was more slime than liquid, and even with it in her mouth she could almost inhale the putrid aroma it gave off. For some reason it was very distinctly familiar of something else she tasted upon her return to Equestria, but she couldn’t quite place a hoof on it.

She had done enough of this toiling over the food and finally swallowed and wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “Brown Bobby was it?” She asked, leading into another question.

“Yes princess?”

“I can tell that what you gave me wasn’t the cereal I was speaking of. Though I appreciate your efforts. But might I ask what this fluid is that you served with it?”

Brown would’ve wiped sweat off his head had he not been in the presence of such a royal princess, and had he not wished to keep his cool demeanor in front of his employer. “Oh that? It’s Apple Milk princess.”

“It’s possible to milk an apple?”

“That I can not answer in truth.” Thinking on it, he did hear mention of the origins of this substance to some degree and decided to elaborate. “Although I recall Princess Twilight Sparkle saying something about having received this as a gift from some young girl at a local farm belonging to a friend she had.”

“I see.” Luna decided that she would have to investigate the origins of this ‘Apple Milk’ later. For now, she still wanted a good breakfast. “I do not wish to criticize, but I have eaten oats in my day though.”

“Fret not Princess! I’ll be back in a tick.” And with this he fled to brew yet another concoction.

Author's Note

If you are interested in the origins of Apple Milk, please read the story Apple Milk by Theobservantpilgrim. Although once you find out the origins you can never go back.