MANN vs Caribou

Meanwhile in 1972

Knock knock knock

"TAVISH! Someones been knocking at the door for ten minutes!"

"Ach! m'busy."

"Busy sittin' on yer big pilla o' a backside, maybe! Tavish Finnegan Degroot, go get that door!"

With a heavy sigh the lummox that was once the Demoman headed his mother's request and made his way to the door. Six months of unemployment have not been kind to the poor man. Ever since Gray Mann seized control of MANN CO., Saxton Hale left the country, the Administrator disappeared without a trace, no one has heard from Miss Pauling and the mercs were left without a job, again.

"It might be a job, Tavish. An' lord knoos yae need one."

"I dunnae want another job, mum."  Demo grumbled as he laid his hand on the door knob.

" And I dunnae care what you want, lad. You and yair lazy goost sword-"

Hey! I'm Dead, Lady Not Deaf!

"...need tae get oot this house and blow somthin' up for money, or I'll have tae bury ye in a big round box!"

"What do ye-- what the?"

On the porch stood a man in a black jacket, a grey shirt and a torn hoodie around his neck. Parked on the street was a Harley-Davidson Night Rod Muscle customized with the bones of humans, demons and a skull ornament on the front of it.

"Who is it? Ask 'em have they got any jobs?"

Ask If They've Got Churros!

Snapping back into reality, Demo composed himself. " Look I'm busy, what d'yae want?"

He was answered by an eerie silence.

I assure you Demoman that I mean you no harm nor are my intentions towards you of ill nature. You see your services has been requested by my... associates because of your skills, your career preference and background.

My name is not important at this time, all you need to know of me is that I have come to ask you an important question that will not only seal your fate, but the fate of many, both guilty and innocent.

There was a demonic voice that seemed to echo from all directions, it was the kind of sound you would hear if some psychopathic lunatic was about to strike at any moment and devour your soul before you have a chance to scream.

Never in his entire life did Demo feel like he was about die while shitting himself. Gulping down his fear, Demo tried to find his voice.

"What's that?"

The hooded figure reached for his hood to reveal his face. After doing just that he presented a paper with writing on it.

"Would you like a job?"

Demo did a double take on the situation. The hooded figure has a man or young adult, he looked like he was in his early twenties. He had pitch black spiked hair and was a little tan. His expression was neutral and gave off no vibes of a threat nor comfort of an ally. His evil voice was gone and now sounded normal. The document he was holding was similar to the one he received from Reliable Excavation Demolition and Mann Co.

"Are... Are yae... Are yae givin' me me oul' job back?" For the first time in six months, Demo's voice sounded hopeful.

"Yes, you will have your old position, but your work will be twice as dangerous, your pay will be twice as large if not more and you may not come back alive. Do you accept?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Look man, I don't have all da-"

"EYELANDER! Yae roosty wee booter knife! Get yae sheath on!."

The Demoman ripped his robe to shreds, much to the bewilderment of the stranger until the discarded shreds revealed Demo's uniform. Demo grabbed Eyelander and ran out the door towards the motorcycle.

"WE'VE GOT A JOB!"

Heads!

"That's me boy!"

Six down three to go

Still 1972, Teufort jail.

"Mister Mayor-"

"Hey, how many times I gotta tell you? 'Mister Mayor' is the mayor of Florida! Call me Mike!" Mike cheerfully stated.

"Mike... I am going to kill you, and anyone who participates in this preposterous show trial."

" Me too!"

"Yes I may kill Scout in the confusion as well." Spy said casually.

Spy and Scout are currently in jail awaiting their trail which would determine weather or not they be hanged till death. They, as well as the other members of the team, are currently wanted for accidentally rezoning the towns only school into a parking lot, requesting a city dump in town square and accidentally requesting the local retirement home as a federal pedophile sanctuary and other stupid things. Of course the true perpetrator is the Mayor covering his incompetence and pining it on the mercs. The only crimes they actually committed was the long list of property damage and murders.

Doesn't really help them huh?

"SHOW TRAIL...

Well, gosh, thank you for saying that. We're certainly trying our best to make it one heck of a show. Man, I'm going to miss you two. Anyway, important mayor stuff to do. Get your sleep guys! Big day tomorrow! Lights out!"

-5 min later

"Ah crap, ah crap, ah crap, ah crap, ah crap! I can not believe this!"

"Oh please spare me your whining."

"What the hell is your problem!? How can you be so calm about this, Spy? They are going to kill us!"

"No they will not, because I have a plan."

"Oh thank god."

"Unfortunately you die so that I may escape."

"Screw you."

"On your grave it reads 'here lies Scout --he ran fast and died a virgin."

"Go to hell Spy!"

"Then, off to visit your mother!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Scout lunged himself at Spy and the two tumbled to the ground. They fought through the darkness, intending on putting the other one down while they still could. If only they weren't interrupted.

TAP TAP TAP

The two stopped they're conflict for a moment to discover that they had a visitor n front of their plexiglass cell. A man in a black jacket, a grey shirt and a torn hoodie around his neck.

"OH GOD IT"S THE REAPER!" Scout got on his knees and started to beg for his life. Spy on the other hand was intrigued. All they could really see was his silhouette in the moonlight and his glowing red-orange eye's through the darkness.

"Who are you?"

Look, as much as I would want to explain everything to you now, I can't because I'm running out of time so if you could please come with me...

The figure raised his hands, which turned into dark smoke and expanded into giant clawed hands. Both Spy's and Scout's eyeballs nearly shot out of there heads as they backed away as far as the cell allowed while they screamed in terror. The arms reached through the six inch thick glass prison and firmly grasped Spy and Scout.

"I REGRET EVERYTHING! I REGRET EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE!"

"Oh, Mon Dieu! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

To be continued...