Ferdinand "Firebird" Falcon, your typical human sucked into Equestria, and the sole Phoenix in the world capable of Pony speech, had a surprisingly fun night at a milk bar. Unfortunately for him he's uniquely allergic to milk. Having almost alcoholic effects on him in large doses. He has a major hangover next morning. Meanwhile all kinds of different messed up stuff happen in Equestria which Firebird can't seem to avoid. Not the least of which is, unbeknownst to him, King Sombra's minions are on hunt for him.

Adding a character tag once I figured out who plays a bigger reoccurring role.
Might also add Sex and Gore tags. Most likely gore.

This story is my first step out of my comfort zone.

Also keep in mind that the Firebird in the story does not reflect me. Because it's more funny this way, I think.

Don't expect frequent updates. As this story was a spur of the moment thing, and not in my writing schedule. A side-project if you will.

Inspired by a Let's Play of Conker's Bad Fur Day I was working on while recording footage, and all the sleep I lost because of it. You don't to play that game to read this at all. It's only loosely based on it.