The Hunt for Hannik

I walked through the sands, hair dripping wet, mare at my side, pack on my back. I was shirtless, the guard pants soggy at the ankle and far too tight around the groin. "We're going to die out here...." Emerald mumbled, lurching along the dunes. "Why didn't we go farther before stopping?!"

I growled loudly, "Because if we strolled into a city with a stolen carriage, four freed slaves and two fake guards, nothing good would happen!" I shouted down at her. "At least if we show up like this people will think we're homeless!"

"You say that like it's a good thing!" She shouted, falling into a coughing fit. "We are actually going to die out here, how is that--"

"I see it." I cut her off, storming up a dune, the sand soft under my bare feet. "Buildings, I see buildings!" I stared out at the gleaming glass city, life springing up amongst a huge oasis, tall crags marking the boundary of the desert, the far off mountains somehow warding something from the sands that separated Saddle Arabia and Equestria. "Oh wow...I thought the whole country was desert."

Emerald looked up at me. "Foreigners often do. The north is mostly desert. The eastern coast is temperate, scrub land and beaches. Saddle Arabia is more than a match for your idiotic nations of Earth." She strolled past me, flopping down onto the warm dune. "Idiots...they think we're savages...you think we're--"

"No, I'm a savage." I clarified, sitting upright. "You're the filthy desert heathen. You paganite mongrel." I laughed to myself, slowly getting behind her and spooning the half dead mare. "Oh god...do I make you wet?"

Emerald groaned loudly. "We're going to die a few meters from the city, is now really the time for your jokes?"

I buried my head in her mane, sniffing her sweet kiwi scented mane. "Shut up.... God, I could really just fuck you right here...." I let go of the mare and flopped onto my back. Sand clung to my damp skin, rubbing painfully against me as it started to dig into my clothes. "I sound too rich to die out here.... This is like if King Richard died in Palestine.... Fucking...cocks, big meaty dick flavored cocks." It really did hurt my ears to hear such a proper, rich, voice so vulgar and angry. "I should be a king...not some desert wasteoid steam fried in the sun."

Emerald flicked her ear against my hand. "...I'm going to die a virgin.... Oh gods...I'm going to die a virgin...."

I turned to her with a worn out laugh. "I could fix that."

Emerald let out a long sigh, her voice ringing softly in my ears. "You know...it was either die a virgin...or live my life under some sweaty pig.... Honestly...and I'm not suicidal, but death is a bit more preferable."

I started to laugh, first softly then with a hearty chuckle. "Oh come on...that pony looked alright. You didn't want that fat gut pressing against your back? That... fat shit's pencil sticking you, wiggling around, oh man...that watery cum inside you. Oh my god, that beard on the back of your head while he mount--"

"Stop!" Emerald sat upright. "Honestly... I could have lived my entire life without thinking about that and I would have been fine."

I closed my eyes as the fatigue settled in my back, fusing me to the sand. "God...all the things I've stolen, the people I've killed, the women I've seduced, Daring Do...getting a load of my cum right up her hot little slit...." I crossed my arm over my chest, resting my fingers along my heart. "Oh.... I fucking pumped Daring Do with cum.... I fuckin- man.... She was...she- holy shit...." I could feel breath on my lips. I opened my eyes, already sure of what I'd find. "Daring Do!" I smiled wide at the mare. "Oh god...that scowl.... Do you not like me talking about how I bent you over?"

Daring grimaced hard. "You know... I thought maybe you helped me to be nice, or just to help. I wanted to believe you weren't like--"

"Daring...darling, I do care about you." I slowly sat upright, my body half sprinkled with sand. "I mean...no offense, but I wouldn't have save you if I didn't think you looked good, and I would have left you in the tent if I didn't know you." I let out a long sigh. "Are you kidding me? I mean...babe, there was something there--"

Daring frowned at me, a shadow cast by her hat over my chin. "You know, I could break your jaw. Wouldn't be so good with ladies if--"

I huffed softly. "Look, can we cut to the chase?" I stared at the angry yellow mare with a tired feeling running across my eyes. "Are you here to kill me, to save me, or to.... Look, why are you here?"

Daring frowned at me. "You have--"

"In my bag, just take it." I rolled onto my front, laying my cheek against the sand as Emerald squirmed in the dune. "Really, I'm sorry, had a lot of time to think, and yeah I was a little fucked up leaving you in that tent. If you followed me this far it must be so--"

"Are you serious?" Daring asked, poking me in the ribs. "That easy?"

I turned my chin to look up at her. "Daring, I'm just gonna say this now. Money means more to me than you, but you're pretty high up there." I stared up at the mare. "Your bloody stories are the reason I came out her--"

Daring shook her head. "How delirious are you right now?"

"Oh extremely."

Daring cocked an eyebrow. "And you're just--"

"Are you here to save me and the mare, or are you just gonna leave us to die?" I turned back around, laying on my back once again. "Remember...I did leave you handcuffed, but I made sure you were safe and I left you in shelter."

Daring frowned at me, her vision quickly shifting to Emerald. "Hey, you, how do you know him?"

Emerald lifted her head just enough to look over at me. "Him? He...train...slaves--"

Daring snapped her head back down to me. "That carriage back there was you?"

I closed my eyes and shrugged. "I don't like slavery...sick, sick little practice." I smiled and laid there blind. "I have a strange shitlist. Rape, slavery, slave rape, and petty theft."

Daring stared at me, eyes half closed, eyebrows sharp and annoyed. "Petty theft?"

I cringed and shook my head. "I've only ever committed grand theft and larceny. And I mean...after you've stolen several millions, if you can't buy a fucking Cornetto for a pound you're just an asshole." I sighed loudly. "I'm weird...I know."

Daring rolled her eyes. "You're also half dead." Daring looked off towards the city. "... I'm going to say this, and I want you to remember this while I drag you and your friend into town. I hate you, I hate you so much, I have something I need you for, but I hate--"

I threw my hands up and wrapped my hands around her ears, pulling her down and locking lips with the soft pouty mare. It was sweet, soft and sudden enough to leave me a bit tired. "I love you--"

Daring's glare burned into my head as I laid back down. "... Charm will do a lot, but you're really--"

"If you haven't killed me by now, you're not going to." I laughed and hung my hands on Daring's ears. "I'm touched that you came for me...twice."

"You're a--"

"Yes yes, pig, disgusting creature, asshole. But admit it, you love me...." I smiled up at her. "Hey...you looking for a partner, I promise that I'll behave. Just better keep me fed--"

"Hannik!" Emerald jumped up. "Shut up! Fuck you, fuck you!"

I let my hands flop into the dust as I felt her words hit me with a hearty stab. "Emerald... I don't want to bang you anymore...." I turned my head to Daring. "Daring...you--"

"You keep pushing your luck!" Daring pressed her forehead against my own.

I stared at her with a smile. "I'm not hearing a no. That's really sweet of you." I let my eyes flutter close as I watched the mare. "You keep this up...I might just keep you around."