My new life in equestria

I woke up and turned off my alarm cloak because it was making that annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP sound that I hate. I groaned and woke up and walked to the bathroom and said "Crap (because I don't cuss) I look like shit." so I washed my face and cleaned my tooth and showered and then went to have breakfast and then I changed and got ready for school which I HATE because everyone's a horrible person that makes fun of me and the awesome show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

My Little Pony is an entertainment franchise developed by Hasbro which is marketed primarily to girls. It started as a line of plastic pony toys developed by Bonnie Zacherle, Charles Muenchinger and Steve D'Aguanno which have been produced since 1983. The ponies feature colorful bodies, manes and a unique symbol on one or both sides of their flanks. These are referred to in the two most recent generations as "cutie marks." My Little Pony was revamped at least four times with new and more modern looks to appeal to a new market.

And MLP IS NOT FOR LITTLE GIRLS, because it teaches about friendship. Anyway so I finished my breakfast and walked to my room to take a shit and then I grabbed my Rainbow Dash limited edition backpack and my Fluttershy hoodie with wing accessories and real dyed horse mane on the hoodie because I wanted it to be as real as possible.

I really like the way it smelled.

So I got ready to leave for school and before I did I took a shit and then walked out to go to the bus, but then Carlos Montenegro and Robert McCartney came out of nowhere and started laughing at me and pinching my nipples and touching my slightly chubby but very very little (like almost you cant see it at all if you don't look so yeah they're assholes for looking at them). So they were laughing and they called me "gay faggot" and told me to "kill myself because I had no live and I was a weirdo" but I didn't listen to them and I ran to the bus, but my sweat made it look like I was crying so the kids in the bus started laughing and I ran away because I was so angry at them and was not crying, so I ran away.

AND THEN CELESTIA CAME!

"Kyle (that's my name) I'm princes Celestia of Equestria and I'm going to take you to equestria because you're the only human that isn't evil and you are a nice person and you don't make fun of kids but there's only one condition and you have to become a pony because we don't want to have evil horrible humans in equestria ok?"

"YES!" I said because I was so happy that Celestia was going to take me away to equestria and then Celestia let me mount her and we flew away but before we left I pointed to the bus where all my friends were and Celestia nodded and closed her eye without closing the other in a wink and then she swooped down and shot a magic blast that killed everyone inside the bus and they burned screaming in pain with the fire burning their bodies and their stupid brains melting and dying and Leila that stupid bad person who didn't want to come with me to prom was burnt the worst and she died after many years of burning and everyone else died very horribly and then Celestia killed Carlos and Robert with cancer so we flew away laughing happily together into Equestria.

And when we got to Equestria and we met the mane six and Twilight said "Oh wow you're a human from another planet?" and I said "Yes." and I looked into her eyes and she blushed and I did too but I wasn't embarrassed anymore, but then Rarity got angry because she loved Twilight and she shot me with a magic but Celestia stopped her and blasted her away with a powerful beam of magic and Applejack died and Twilight was crying but I hugged her and held her close and she fell asleep in my arms and we stayed at her treehouse and then in the night we did stuff but Twilight was a little selfish because she didn't want to at first, but then I convinced her and we had the best time ever and we lasted until the next three days and when we came out Twilight was pregnant and everyone was all like "YAY!" And Pinkie wanted to throw a party and I said "No." and Twilight also said "Yeah you're annoying." And then Celestia named me the new Element of Generosity and Laughter and also of Love.

And Celestia turned me into my OC pony DARK WING!!!!!!!!!!! He was the son of Prince Sun who was the father of Princess Celestia who is princess of Equestria and then he fought against the evil king EVIL BLADE who was a servant of Voldemort and DARK WING got to meet Harry potter but he was an idiot so Dark Wing asked Hermione if she wanted to be his girlfriend and she said yes so he killed Ron, but anyway that's my other fanfic, you should read it.

Anyways so then Discord appeared and tried to steal the elements away from Twilight, but I lined up my magic and shot Discord in the face and he died and we all made a party there because I saved the world and we had food and drinks and Twilight got jealous because Fluttershy was flirting with me but I slapped her and told her to not be mean and then she cried so I said it was okay and I forgave her and we made a harem and Celestia blushed and asked if she could join and I said yes so I was now the only stallion in a harem of like six seven eight NINE MARES because Cadance left Shining Armor to join my harem and then Shining got angry and tried to kill me but Twilight shot him in the face with a magic and he died and we all lived happily ever after!

And no one made fun of me anymore and I had sex and wasn't a virgin and everyone loved me! :pinkiehappy:

And this is the story of my adventures in...................................................

EQUESTRIA!!!!!!!@