Whom I Hold Dear

Chapter 3: Ache

Twilight stared down at her breakfast, a bowl of hot oatmeal and a glass of orange juice. She let out a listless sigh with her head propped up on her hoof as she stirred the lumpy paste. Breakfast was probably the furthest thing from her mind that morning. Something else had been bothering her—something she couldn’t quite place.

For weeks she found it hard to focus, either at school or even at home. There was always a thought or feeling that would pop into her head, usually concerning someone close to her. Perhaps it started when she began this bizarre relationship with her mother, but she couldn’t quite place the exact beginning. Twilight pulled her eyes from her breakfast to the pony standing at the kitchen sink.

Her mother stood there, a plate and a rag hovering in her magic. She stared out the window as the clean dishes piled up to one side of her at a breakneck pace. Her eyes slid from her mother’s beautiful face down to her haunch. But it wasn’t the whole picture that Twilight found herself looking at. Specifically, her eyes fell to her mother’s haunch. The older mare’s tail swished back and forth, briefly exposing herself to Twilight.

She swallowed hard, unable to tear her gaze away from the gorgeous white, silken coat and three purple stars which adorned her mother’s picturesque rear. Her face flushed, and soon she felt a stiffening in her nethers. A small movement of Velvet’s head out of the corner of her eye and the distinct feeling of being watched snapped Twilight back to reality. She cleared her throat forcing herself to stare down into the bland mush in front of her. The clatter of spoon-on-bowl rang out, and her mother turned to face her.

“Is everything alright?” Velvet asked, putting a tired smile on her face.

“Fine!” Twilight replied through a mouthful of food.

Velvet raised an eyebrow, and Twilight almost withered. She felt the heat radiating from her cheeks. To an astute observer—like the one eyeing her—she knew it was clear. The soft ring of her mother giggling pulled Twilight’s gaze up.

“Sorry, dear,” Velvet said from behind her hoof.

Twilight’s ears perked up. She held up a hoof, defensively. “I-I wasn’t—” She cut herself short when she saw the knowing look in her mother’s eyes. Instinctively, she shrank down, ears lying flat. “Maybe I was…”

The older mare’s smile fell slightly, and her eyes shifted towards the ground. “I know I’ve been having you help me a lot lately, but I was thinking we should take a few days off.”

Twilight looked up with wide eyes, her lower lip trembling as she opened her mouth to speak. “What do you mean?” she asked with a quivering voice. Her heart sank as numerous thoughts ran through her head. Had she upset her mom? Or maybe made her feel guilty again? Or perhaps they had been doing It too much? Twilight’s hoof began to shake, rattling the spoon on the table.

Then Velvet glanced up and, when their eyes met, swooped forward to crouch next to her daughter. “It’s not your fault, Twilight.” She glanced pointedly at the calendar hanging on the wall. “It’s just…” Velvet swallowed a growing lump in her throat. “It’s his birthday in a few days, and I don’t quite think it would be right to do what we’ve been doing on his birthday…”

Twilight gave a shaky nod; something grabbed hold of her heart and pulled it down harder and harder by the second. She struggled to breathe, and it wasn’t long before the familiar tinge of fear started creeping up her spine.

Then a sweet voice cut through all the anxiety. “I’m not going to kick you out of my bed,” Velvet said, pulling Twilight’s attention from the tabletop. She looked up to see her mother smiling warmly, that same smile that told her everything would be alright just so long as she didn’t give up. A comforting hoof soon came to rest on her shoulder. “We’re just going to take a break from the other…things.”

The fear crawling up Twilight’s spine stopped. She breathed a small sigh of relief as her mom’s hoof moved from her shoulder to her cheek.

“We’ve been doing it a lot the past few weeks,” Velvet added, “so I thought I should tell you.”

Twilight responded with a shake of her head. Her mom’s hoof was warm against her cheek, warm and comforting; after a moment, she moved her own hoof up as well. At the contact, she felt her heart thump loudly.

“I understand,” she managed to say. She pressed her mother’s hoof close; the touch alone kept the anxiety at bay. “I’m here whenever you need me, Mom.”

“That’s my girl.” Velvet stared into Twilight’s eyes for a while longer.

Finally, she managed to pull herself from Twilight’s eyes to glance up at the clock. “Finish your breakfast. You have to get to your lessons with the princess.”

“Okay,” Twilight replied as she let her mom’s hoof go.

Twilight sprawled out on a large, intricately designed purple carpet. Sewn on the silky weaving were golden threads circling an enormous sun styled after the owner’s cutie mark—a less than subtle reminder to those who used the room just whom they owed the luxury to. In the generously sized study stood three huge glass windows that rose to the towering, vaulted ceiling. The rug on which she laid rested perfectly in the afternoon light as it shone through. To her side, a cozy fireplace sat a comfortable distance away, but dim. The free walls were lined with bookcases twice as tall as she was. Along the wall with the windows was a small desk, free for her to use should she wish, stocked with quills and parchment. And finally, behind Twilight, on the far side of the room stood the door.

But as grand as it might seem, the room around her had lost its awe-inducing power on her long ago. Instead, her gaze focused on the open book in front of her, though her eyes only ran idly across the page. It may have appeared she was reading to the casual observer, but her thoughts dwelled on more pressing matters, particularly what her mother had said to her that morning. The discussion had brought their recent activities to the forefront in her mind, for which Twilight was thankful she was laying down on a rug in the chambers Princess Celestia set aside for their studies. It made a certain telltale sign a bit easier to conceal.

Originally, she had felt some unease sleeping with her own mother. In the back of her mind she felt like a monster, taking advantage of her mother’s pain and abusing her sympathy, but she came to realize that wasn’t the case. Twilight was helping her mother cope and her mother was comforting her in return. Certainly, it had been awkward at first. She had trouble looking her mom in the face on a normal day without thinking of her with her mouth slack and her eyes rolled upwards in ecstasy. But, she managed to deal with it. Seeing her mother in that light was a bit disturbing, but it didn’t hurt their relationship. If anything, they had grown more affectionate than ever. She felt closer and closer to her mom every day. A few nights without sex wouldn’t change that.

Twilight’s mind lingered on that thought for a moment. Her mother’s soft, pliable haunches popped into her head. For a moment, she could feel the warm flesh against her hooves mixed with the silky sensation of her fur. She imagined Velvet’s lustful cries, begging her daughter to massage her haunches in that low, throaty voice that got her anything she asked for. Twilight felt a tingle surge through her hind quarters. She cleared her throat as her face flushed with heat.

Nervously, she laughed to herself just as the door opened. The sound of the handle turning and the subsequent squeal of the hinges pulled her from staring at the opened book in front of her. Inside walked Princess Celestia, towering with her impeccable posture and calming serenity.

“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle.” She cast a radiant smile down at her faithful student.

Twilight raised her neck up as straight as she could and returned the princess’s smile. Quickly, she pushed the thoughts of her mother to the back of her mind. She hoped Celestia wouldn’t notice the lingering heat in her face. “G-good morning, Princess.”

Celestia tilted her head quizzically as she approached Twilight. Her gaze fell upon the open book, and she frowned. “Twilight, didn’t we cover that topic last week?”

Twilight glanced down at the book and slammed it shut. She let out a nervous laugh before looking back up at Celestia. “J-just going over it again.”

Her hopes of throwing off Celestia’s suspicions fell flat when the princess raised an eyebrow, smile faltering. Twilight squirmed under the scrutiny; if the princess pushed for more information, she might learn that Twilight had been lost in thought, and if she learned that, then she might also want to know why. Would she be able to come up with an excuse? What if the princess didn’t believe her?

Celestia let her student sweat for a few more seconds, then closed her eyes, freeing Twilight from her torment. When the princess’s lids went back up, she stopped with a half-lidded gaze.

Daintily, she lowered herself down on the rug. “Well, since you seem to have last week’s lesson well in hoof, how about we take a small break from magic and talk about history, today?”

“Certainly.” Twilight took a deep breath to clear her head. Deflecting the princess always left her in a daze. “Though, if you don’t mind me asking, why the change of curriculum?”

Celestia’s lips curled into a sly smile, one that Twilight had seen before; it was a smile that told her Celestia knew everything that Twilight knew, and then a bit more of top of that. “You seem to be a tad distracted lately. I thought we might change our plans to let your brain put whatever is bothering you on the bookshelf, so to speak.” Her horn lit up, pulling a book from the shelf across the room over to the two of them. The soft cloth cover showed a picture of a griffon and a pony facing each other. “Though I’m not sure your distraction is the type to be solved by a change in lesson plans.”

Twilight blinked absently for a moment before looking up at her mentor. “What do you mean, Princess?”

“What, indeed,” Celestia said so only she could hear, accented with a small laugh. Her eyes met Twilight’s before giving a proper answer. “It’s nothing, Twilight. Let us focus on today’s lesson, the griffon concessions after the war with the pegasus tribe.”

Twilight’s quill hung still in her magical grip, hovering just above a mostly blank sheet of parchment. She scrunched her nose at the unassuming page. For some reason, she couldn’t wrap her mind around the essay Princess Celestia had assigned her. But Twilight knew the assignment wasn’t the cause of her duress. She sighed after a short while and glanced up at the clock. It had already been an hour since she sat down to start.

Homework was the farthest thing from her mind. Like earlier that day, she found her thoughts wandering. For whatever reason, her heart felt unsteady. It was almost as if she was standing on a cliff, teetering on the edge, staring down at the crashing waves while wondering when and how she had ever gotten there in the first place. Why did she feel like that? Why all of a sudden was she unable to focus her thoughts on things that were easy, things she enjoyed?

Velvet had been on her mind a lot lately. At home, at school, on the go—no matter where Twilight was, she would always find her mind veering towards what she and her mother had done, what they would do later, picturing them talking, reading, being close to one another. It was certainly a distraction at first, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Now, though, she felt like this. She felt scared.

Twilight looked back to her would-be essay. She remembered the princess earlier that day and how she had been acting strange as well. It was almost as if Celestia knew something that she wasn’t telling Twilight—something she expected Twilight to know, but wouldn’t say.

“Why are things getting so difficult all of a sudden?” she asked her empty bedroom, looking to the ceiling. “Just when I was getting a handle on these abandonment issues—I was feeling safe—I’m starting to get scared again…” She paused, glancing to the side just long enough to snag a tissue with her magic. She brought it to her eye and dabbed away a forming teardrop. “It’s not that I’m scared she or my brother will die anymore, but it’s like I’m scared that I won’t be with them.” Twilight took a deep breath to calm her heart. She then tossed the tissue in the garbage. “Mom’s really helped me cope with your death, but why do I feel like this, Dad? Why do I feel so anxious now?”

There was no response. Her ears fell flat as her eyes drifted down. She didn’t expect an answer, but would have appreciated one nonetheless. Just as Twilight resigned herself back to her assignment, she heard the downstairs door open. Her ears immediately perked up and the weight in her chest was gone for a fleeting moment before it came crashing right back down on her. She turned her head towards her bedroom door, and then back to the paper in front of her.

“I should probably go see how her day was,” Twilight mumbled before standing up from her desk.

As she opened her bedroom door, the soft, melodic sound of someone humming came drifting from downstairs. She followed the sound down the steps and into the kitchen. Standing at the table was her mom with a bag of groceries.

At the sound of her daughter’s soft hoofsteps, Velvet glanced up. She flashed a smile at her daughter as she pulled a loaf of bread from the brown paper bag sitting on the table. "Hi, dear. How was school?"

"It was fine," Twilight replied, a tinge of uncertainty creeping into her voice. Tentatively, she stepped further into the kitchen, eyes darting around as she did so. "How was your day?"

"Good, surprisingly." Velvet’s smile widened. It was warm—pleased, in a sort of way that seemed disjointed from how they had parted that morning. "I went to place some flowers at your father’s grave for tomorrow."

Twilight nodded, though her mother had already returned her attention to the groceries.

"Just as I placed the flowers against his headstone, and when I felt like I was about to start crying, the clouds parted." She paused for a moment, taking a sharp breath. “It was then that a warm ray of sunlight touched my cheek, just like your father used to." Her hoof paused partway through lifting out a block of cheese. A bead of liquid grew in the corner of her eye as she stared past the paper bag. "For a second, it was almost like he was there with me again."

Without realizing, the corners of Twilight’s mouth tugged down. She fought to swallow for a second, trying to bury the frown that had forced its way onto her face.

"I spent an hour just sitting there with him. It was nice." Velvet turned back to Twilight, blinking away the tears forming in her eyes. "It was nice to visit…"

A dull ache had tugged persistently in Twilight’s chest from the second her mother started telling her this story, but just then, it yanked hard on her heart. For a moment, she thought she might throw up. Her shoulders jolted as she fought the urge, with a single thought resonating in her head. Why?

The jerking motion in her peripheral nabbed Velvet’s attention. She tilted her head, questioningly. "Something the matter?" She took a step towards Twilight, eyes growing wide with concern. "Don’t tell me it’s another fit. I shouldn’t have brought your father up, I’m sorry—"

Twilight shook her head. "No!" She cleared her throat, despite not needing to. "I just swallowed wrong is all." Forcibly, she plastered an awkward grin on her face, but her kinked eyebrows didn’t sell her facade.

Velvet raised an eyebrow, taking another step towards Twilight as she did. Without any warning, she placed her front of her hoof against Twilight’s forehead. "You don’t feel warm," she muttered. "You sure you’re okay? You’re acting a bit strange." Her hoof moved from Twilight’s forehead down to caress her cheek, gently goading the younger mare into looking at her.

Reluctantly, Twilight complied. Their eyes met, but she still forced her emotions down, deep inside her. Her brow smoothed enough to make her mom give a small smile.

"If anything’s wrong, you can tell me."

Twilight shook her head. "I would if anything was." As the hoof fell away from her cheek, her head fell. Her mouth had started to open, words forming, but she cut herself off before uttering a single syllable. She had stopped herself from speaking the rest of what came to mind, realizing it was inappropriate, but still put it into words in her head. "I don’t have a reason to hide anything after what we’ve been through."

Velvet tilted her head to the side, eyes scanning her face. She paused for a second, as if anticipating more from Twilight, but the younger mare stood silent. After a moment, Velvet cleared her throat and turned her attention towards her groceries. "W-well, I’ll make dinner soon. I’ll call you when it’s ready, okay?"

Twilight gave a weak nod before turning and shuffling out of the kitchen with her head hanging low. Velvet furrowed her brow as she watched Twilight leave. "Something’s with that girl," she muttered to herself.

Suddenly, she realized where her eyes had fallen—directly on her daughter’s backside. Twilight’s cutie mark shifted as her muscles moved. Her tail swished instinctively once, giving Velvet a view of her slip and supple balls before disappearing once more. The older mare blushed and quickly turned her attention back to the nearly empty grocery bag.

She was left with the mental image of her daughter walking away, unintentionally flashing her. The image soon was superimposed over an image of her husband’s rear end in her mind. After visiting her Night Light’s grave, she now found her daughter’s ass stuck in her head, juxtaposed with her late husband’s.

Velvet bit her lower lip. As much as she didn’t want to focus on it, she found it difficult to push Twilight’s ass from her thoughts. The slight, subconscious feminine sway, her soft cheeks, her slit. She felt her stomach lurch at the fact that the sight intoxicated her so.

But, just below, captured perfectly in her image was he younger mare’s heavy sack. That part thrust their recent activities back into the forefront of her mind. The way they hung perfectly framed by her hind legs actually reminded Velvet of her husband, but not in a way that invoked sexual feelings. It was the resemblance rather than calling upon memories of nights past. Her eyes closed in a vain attempt to get the thought of her daughter’s balls out of her head.

Unfortunately for her, it only grew more vivid. Twilight’s swollen testes, swaying with her hips, almost hypnotically. Velvet blushed and kinked her eyebrows.

"What’s wrong with me?"

Twilight let out a soft sigh as she stared down into the book before her. In the background, she heard the melodic voice of her teacher droning on about something that—unfortunately—was probably rather interesting to her. But, she couldn’t focus, and not for the same reason as before. Whatever the feeling that assaulted her senses yesterday hadn’t left.

Twilight knew she wasn’t sick. She still had an appetite, wasn’t sluggish, and her mind was certainly still active despite the gross, sticky sensation that clung to her skin and throat. She felt, whatever it was, pulling down on her gut until she wanted to vomit and hopefully feel better. But, alas, it never came. Whatever this was, she hated it. It was like her heart was being ripped in two all while she drowned slowly in a pit of tar.

Twilight scrunched her nose and looked to the window, despite being in the middle of a lecture. "Ever since mom came home yesterday," she muttered under her breath.

“And why, exactly, do you say that?” a gentle voice asked from just behind her ear. A subsequent twitch and Twilight jolting back away from the source confirmed the suspicions that Celestia was the cause.

Immediately, Twilight straightened her back, and perked up. Slowly, a sense of dread crept up her spine. She hadn’t even noticed the princess stepping behind her, let alone stopping her lesson. "P-Princess!"

"I didn’t mean to startle you,” Princess Celestia said as she daintily strode next to Twilight. “You seemed a bit out of sorts during our lesson."

"I-it’s nothing. I just forgot myself."

"It seems like there’s a lot of ‘nothing’ on your mind as of late, Twilight." She took a seat next to her student. Close, but still a comfortable distance away. Twilight shrank down, trying to make herself as small as possible. Her face felt like it was on fire, and all she wanted to do was bury her head under her forelegs. "I don’t enjoy prying into my students’ personal affairs, but your concentration has been suffering from all of this nothing."

Celestia extended a majestic, ivory-colored wing like an umbrella, lowering it softly so the downy feathers just barely caressed Twilight’s fur. At the comforting touch, Twilight felt some of the tension slide away. Some.

"I’ve been giving you some liberty with your homework and studies for the past few months,” Celestia went on, “but something tells me your recent troubles are entirely new."

Twilight gave a loud gulp. "I’m just—" She paused. Through the many years of their relationship as mentor and student, Celestia had always seen through her. She might chalk it up to experience or wisdom, but Twilight was practically an open book as far as Celestia was concerned. She could always tell what Twilight was really feeling, if not necessarily the particular details, but this wasn’t something she wanted the princess to see. This disgusting feeling she was too ashamed of to let it be found out.

Yet, Twilight knew she needed advice. She needed to deal with this sickening sensation sitting inside her. It wasn’t exactly easy to ask for help though, especially from her teacher of all ponies. But, it was only getting worse. If anyone knew how to help, it would be Celestia. That very wisdom that saw right through Twilight was also her best hope for salvation. So, she took a deep breath. "I’ve been having some…issues."

Celestia leaned forward, a smile teasing her lips. "What sort of issues?"

"Well, I…" Twilight dry-swallowed. "I guess you could say I feel…odd.” She chewed on her lips as she stared out the window in front of her. When she finally stopped chewing on her lips, she said, “It’s like my heart is trying to leap out of my chest—"

A small laugh from Celestia stopped Twilight mid sentence. Her ears twitched as she managed to catch the princess raising a hoof to cover her mouth. "Forgive me," Celestia said, the linger of her laughter still inside her voice. “I don’t mean to make light of this, but I’ve seen this sort of thing countless times.”

"You have?" Twilight looked up at Celestia, hope filling her eyes.

Celestia couldn’t hold in the smirk any longer. It finally broke free. "Love is a strange thing, my dear Twilight," she replied with a hint of teasing in her tone. “It’s perfectly natural for a mare your age to be interested in a young stallion.” Celestia’s eyes closed slightly.

Immediately the hope Twilight welling up in Twilight’s breast withered. Her ears fell flatter than a sheet of paper. “I—” She stumbled over her words for a bit before finally managing to squeak out a single, hoarse word. “Love?”

Celestia’s eyes widened upon seeing Twilight’s reaction. The teasing grin that had worked so hard to break free vanished in an instant. Once the small shock cleared however, her smile returned, though more gentle. She tightened her grip around Twilight, pulling her in closer. “Oh, you poor dear. You didn’t even realize?”

“Realize?” Twilight still had that look of dread on her face.

“Of course,” Celestia said. “The distant looks, the constant distractions, the listless sighs—I’ve been around long enough to tell when somepony’s in love, Twilight.”

Twilight’s gaze drifted slowly down to Celestia’s mouth, vaguely catching her lips moving but not quite registering her words. It all faded to white noise. Her focus continued to fall down to Celestia’s neck, then her regalia, her chest, and finally down to the floor. She stopped there, her eyes locked on where Celestia’s foreleg met the carpet.

The world around Twilight faded into obscurity. Her own heartbeat drowned out the sounds of the world in her ears, and her eyes trembled as she stared down into nothing. It hadn’t occurred to her, the reason why she felt the way she had. She simply assumed it was just a coincidence or a symptom of her separation anxiety. It wasn’t even in the realm of possibility for her, so she didn’t think of it. Why would she? How could she? While studying, while in class, on the way home, at lunch, even in her dreams—the reason why she had been thinking about her mom so often had been sitting there in front of her face the whole time. Yet, here it was, catching her completely off guard. Goosebumps ran up her spine, making her shiver sporadically.

It also explained this disgusting feeling drowning her now. It started when she found out where her mom had been the night before. She was visiting her father’s grave, and it had left Twilight feeling disgusted. She was jealous. She was jealous that her mother was visiting her dead father. Jealous that her mom was still in love with another. For an instant, Twilight almost felt like she was going to throw up. She lurched forward, just barely managing to keep her stomach in check. “Oh, what have I done…”

“Twilight?” Celestia’s voice cut through the pounding in her ears. Twilight looked around, her vision slowly coming back into focus, despite the quivering. She realized that she was still in the castle, still in the office, still with Celestia’s wing around her. She looked up to see a very concerned princess leaning over her. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine!” Twilight managed to spit out after another dry-swallow. “I’m perfectly fine!”

Celestia raised a concerned eyebrow. “You don’t look fine.”

“I am! I was just caught off guard is all.” Twilight’s face flushed red. "I wasn’t expecting you to…uh…" It was now sinking in to whom she was speaking to about love. Not just about love—something already embarrassing to a mare her age—but about a love that shouldn’t ever happen in the first place. And one that certainly can’t be known.

She saw Celestia’s face relax. “That’s a relief.” As she breathed a sigh of relief, her smile returned. "So, about the young colt?"

Twilight’s body froze.

The jerk from Twilight’s muscles all tightening at once resonated through Celestia’s feathers. "Oh…" She was taken back slightly. "Maybe I was being presumptuous." She let out a slight nervous laugh. "It’s fairly common these days, I’ve heard."

"I-I’d rather not talk about it." Twilight’s face felt like it would ignite any moment from the heat in her cheeks. Shame and embarrassment consumed her. All she wanted to do was disappear.

Celestia nodded. There was a brief silence before she spoke again. "Love is an awkward subject. However, with your concentration slipping lately, I was concerned. I simply wanted to make sure you were feeling alright."

"I am…" Twilight said. Nausea had settled in at the back of her throat. What she had originally hoped would be a fruitful conversation only left her feeling even more leaden than before. Now, on top of it the confusion, nausea, and anxiety, she had to live with guilt, shame, and disgust. “I’ll try to focus more, Princess.”

She had managed to hold true to that much, at least for the rest of the day. As soon as she left the castle, however, Twilight’s mind and body betrayed her. The walk home was an eventful one between the panic attacks, near uncontrollable urge to cry, and pit stop to empty the contents of her stomach in a bush. The images of ponies staring at her as she walked past hung in the back of her mind, but that was the least of her concerns.

As soon as the front door closed behind her, Twilight called out for her mom, but no answer came forth. She didn’t know what was stronger between the disappointment and the relief, but at least, her heart let up on its relentless pounding inside her chest just a little bit. She climbed the stairs and immediately went to her bedroom. After she closed the door behind her, her strength gave out. She collapsed onto her back haunches and leaned against the door, trembling.

“What is wrong with me?” she yelled.

Tears made it look as though she was underwater, drowning in a roiling hot ocean, miles below the surface with the crushing weight above her. But just as she looked up, the veil of water broke, leaving a scalding stream running down her cheek. Her jaw clenched and she pinched her eyes closed as hard as she could. “She’s your mother!” With a loud thud, she slammed her head back against the door. “She’s the woman who gave birth to you, raised you, cared for you!” She hit her head again, forcing a dull pain to shoot through her skull all the way to the tip of her horn. “You’re disgusting!” Despite her best efforts, the tears continued to flow, cutting furrows in her coat.

“You said you’d take care of her,” she said between clenched teeth. “How could you be so stupid to fall in love with your own mother…”

Her jaw went slack, and she sucked in a lungful of air. After a few fast, uncontrolled breaths, Twilight managed to open her eyes. The room was blurred, but at least it didn’t seem as suffocating. She could only make out the glare from the light of her window amidst the sea of color.

“You promised him…” Twilight managed to pull her composure enough to swallow some saliva for her dry throat. “How could you betray him like that? You weren’t supposed to fall in love with her.” She shook her head, rolling the back of her skull against the door. “Like I had a choice. She ended up taking care of me more than I did her. I’m so worthless.”

“Twilight?” a voice called from downstairs. Her eyes shot open and her whole body froze. Immediately she recognized it—her mom. “Are you home?”

Twilight frantically wiped at her face to hide the evidence. “I’m upstairs!” she replied, trying carefully to keep any indication she had been crying out of her tone. Of all the times to come home, Velvet had to pick now. Twilight sat there against the door, mentally preparing herself. She breathed slow, reigning in her emotions once more.

But, just as her heart had begun to slow its breakneck pace, she heard the clip-clop of hooves coming up the stairs. She nearly choked on the air in her throat at the sound. Her whole body tightened with each approaching step until they came to a stop outside her door. She gulped again, terrified that if she said a word she would break into tears again.

"Are you okay?" she finally heard from the other side.

Twilight inhaled a shaky breath. Slowly she pulled herself forward, onto unsteady legs. After a moment, she stood, taking a step away from the door. "Yeah."

A glow soon appeared on the handle. The hum of magic hit her ears, causing a chill to creep up her spine. She turned around and forced a smile on her face just in time for Velvet to open the door. "H-hi."

As soon as Velvet’s eyes fell on her, Twilight knew that the ruse was over, be it mother’s instinct or just Velvet’s ability to read her after all these years, There wasn’t any doubt that Velvet knew. Without even a pause, she walked up to Twilight and pulled her in for a hug. "What happened?"

"N-nothing!" Twilight replied, much louder than she meant to.

Velvet pulled back from Twilight, fixing her with a stern gaze. She scanned the younger mare’s bloodshot eyes, her still damp fur on her face, and even took note of her quick, shallow breaths.

"Who was it?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Seeing that look in her mother’s eyes made Twilight’s heart fluttered even as it throbbed painfully. She kicked herself for the former and tried to ignore the latter. "Nopony. I just… felt sad." She couldn’t muster the courage to say why.

“Oh.” Velvet’s expression softened. She pulled Twilight to her chest again. "I know. I’ve been trying not to cry myself."

Though her mother was speaking, Twilight’s thoughts weren’t focusing on what was being said. Each breath she took was filled with her mother’s sweet scent, a mixture of lavender and chamomile. The scent mixed delightfully with her body heat, evoking a nostalgic calm in her. At the same time, her heart danced, reveling in the wonderful embrace of the mare she loved.

She barely kept her body from locking up. Part of her fought to pull away in disgust over these feelings surfacing while another desperately wanted to act upon them.

"It’s still so hard to believe it’s his birthday…" Velvet said.

Twilight snapped back to reality. "Of all days," she thought as another pit formed in her stomach. At the very least, she could keep this unnatural attraction to herself; as good as she was at seeing through Twilight’s attempts to disguise her true feelings, Velvet couldn’t read minds. That was the one thing Twilight could take some sort of solace in.

"I miss him too, Dear." Velvet rubbed her cheek into Twilight’s mane before loosening her grip. "How about we go see him before dinner?"

For a moment, it almost felt like Twilight’s heart was going to fall right out of her chest. But, she managed to swallow the pain. After a deep breath, inhaling the guilty pleasure of her mother’s smell, she nodded.

“Okay.”

She had been quiet. Through the walk to see her father’s grave, through the visit and the subsequent walk home, and even through dinner, she had been quiet. Twilight simply couldn’t bring herself to speak. Her mother’s questions were answered with nods or shakes of her head. Even when she stood in front of her late father’s grave, no words came. All she felt was the crushing guilt as she stared at the still-pristine headstone. Guilt from how she had failed her father, failed her mother, and even failed herself.

The mattress shifted beneath her, snapping her back to reality. Vaguely, she recalled climbing the stairs and getting into bed—her mother’s bed. The entire evening blurred together in her memory, passing in a single, agonizingly slow instant. All she wanted to do was go to sleep, and perhaps these disgusting feelings would disappear. But as she closed her eyes, she sincerely doubted that.

Soon, she felt a hoof touch her shoulder, and slowly trail down her foreleg. A tingle ran up her spine from the subtle touch against her fur. Twilight pinched her eyes closed and swallowed.

“Not tonight,” she thought as her mother’s warmth pressed against her back. The gentle caress of her breath against Twilight’s neck made her shiver slightly.

A hoof traced a line from Twilight’s foreleg down around her barrel, pulling her into a hug. “I know we agreed we wouldn’t, but I think you could use some stress relief tonight,” Velvet whispered into Twilight’s ear.

“N-no, I’m fine,” Twilight replied.

“No you’re not.” Velvet’s tone was gentle, but firm. “I know something’s wrong, Twilight. I’ve known you for your whole life. I can tell when something’s bothering you. And I know it’s not just because it was his birthday today.”

Twilight inhaled sharply. “I-I’m just—”

“Hush now.” Velvet’s hoof slid down to find Twilight’s cock already stiff. “At least some part of you can be honest.” The short, bristly fur just above the frog of her hoof rubbed along the length causing the member to twitch in response. Velvet rubbed her muzzle into Twilight’s neck. “Even if you won't tell me, I think I know how to help you.”

Twilight cursed her body for betraying her. This wasn’t right. Deep inside, she feared she couldn’t separate herself anymore. Distance had made this easy at first, but now that she knew what these feelings were, that was out the window. If she let herself do this, she couldn’t guarantee she’d be able to stop. It scared her more than anything, that she wouldn’t be able to snap herself out of this infatuation with her own mother. Her heart was pounding at the thought. Their already twisted relationship would only get more messed up if she didn’t put a stop to it.

But, that wasn’t so easy. A surge of pleasure running through her caused Twilight to open her eyes. “M-Mom,” she whimpered. Her body knew what she wanted. As soon as her mom had touched her, she felt the blood surging through her member, stiffening it to its full length.

“Today I thought of him so much,” Velvet whispered. “I don’t know what’s bothering you, but let's forget the pain for now. What do you say?”

That was all it took. A request from the mare she had promised herself—and her deceased father—she would devote herself to. She would make her happy as best as she could, no matter what. Her mom needed her. Even at the cost of her own feelings, Twilight knew what she had to do.

She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, trying to bury the self-disgust for a moment. “Do it for her. It’s just like always. This doesn’t mean anything. It’s just sex. You can do it, Twilight.” She opened her eyes again, and then reluctantly, she nodded.

Velvet smiled. “Just let me take care of everything. And whatever else is bothering you, forget about it for now,” she whispered into her daughter’s ear. She pulled the blanket off them with her magic. Twilight rolled onto her back as Velvet lifted a leg over her to straddle her daughter. A wiff of the mare’s arousal hit Twilight’s nose surging more life into her already painfully erect cock.

She continued to smile down at Twilight, a sympathetic, weak smile. “Are you really sure?” she asked.

It almost wasn’t fair. Twilight grit her teeth. Every ounce of sense she had told to quit now, but other parts wanted to scream at Velvet to get on with it. Her heart pounded relentlessly, anxious to feel her mother’s embrace once more, and her dick was still rock hard, pleading for attention with small spasms. Despite knowing what she should do, despite knowing this was even more wrong now than it ever had been before, her chest fluttered. She had a chance to get out of this. But, her heart won out. "I want to…"

Velvet leaned down and pressed her forehead to Twilight’s. "Thanks, sweetie."

Her rump raised slowly, letting Twilight’s member slip past her tail and nestle itself between her plush cheeks. Searing heat and moist lips pressed against the base of her member. She pushed back into her daughter’s painfully erect cock, rubbing her ass long the length. With a small hump, Twilight had managed to wedge herself between her crevice. Velvet’s ass rose steadily as she squeezed Twilight with her muscles. Once she was at the top of her cock, Velvet released her grip, causing Twilight to exhale sharply.

She moved her hips back, placing her sopping slit just above her daughter’s cock. Small dribbles of her arousal trickled down onto the flat head; every drip sent a throb of agonizing pleasure through Twilight’s sensitive shaft causing her to throb.

Velvet took Twilight’s meek form in. She lay there, under her, patiently. Her forelegs stayed firmly planted at her side, unwilling to move, a position she often took as Velvet rode her. Tonight was different though. She looked Twilight in the eyes. While her face was uncertain, the desire in the young mare’s eyes was apparent. It wasn’t just want for relief—she sensed more, almost as though there was something caged up behind her daughter’s otherwise innocent expression. She couldn’t say exactly what, but on some level it made her happy. It was almost as if that need in Twilight’s eyes validated something inside her—something familiar.

But there were more pressing matters. Literally, as she felt her daughter’s throbbing cockhead pressed against her folds. Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Velvet instead focused on the task at hoof. After all, she had a needy little mare to please.

She smiled and lowered her hips. Twilight’s head supported her weight for the barest of instants until it finally sank slowly inside. As Velvet descended upon her daughter’s length, hot, slick juices leaked out ahead of her, easing the journey down the plentiful rod. Each beat of Twilight’s racing heart caused her member to throb inside Velvet, rippling pleasure through her. Finally, her hips met Twilight’s.

The young mare tried her best not to squirm or start humping away. But, it was nigh impossible to resist the temptations of nirvana wrapped around her dick. The gentle contractions around her begged for her to give in and take the mare on top of her, but she didn’t. She weakly looked up to her mom, seeing the mare’s pleased look and closed eyes. She was simply savoring the cock inside her before continuing.

With a sigh, Velvet moved. Slow, steady strokes as she rode her daughter’s cock. The delightful bliss of sexual stimulation took hold, scratching the primal itch inside her. “She’s such a good girl. Always taking care of me, even when I’m being selfish.” Velvet soon let her mind fade into fantasy, focusing on the pleasure building.

Twilight struggled as it went on. As wonderful as it felt to be once again hilting herself inside her mother, she also hurt. Her chest ached knowing what this was—that the mare she loved was simply using her as a dildo while fantasizing about her father. While physically it was bliss, she only felt regret for bringing this pain onto herself. Regret that she would only ever be a toy, regret that she couldn’t share her feelings, regret that those feelings could never be returned.

As she stared up at her mom, her vision started to grow blurry. She watched as the mare bounced on her length, bracing herself against the bed with one hoof and another on her own chest. When she blinked, she felt the water building in her eyes. She pinched them closed, hoping to stop the tears from building anymore.

“Twilight,” she heard muttered. Velvet squeezed Twilight’s length as she sped up her movements.

Twilight’s eyes popped open to see her mom rocking back and forth on her lap. She still had hers closed, completely enthralled in her fantasy. She panted and had even moved her hoof from Twilight’s chest to daintily cover her mouth. She was close. Twilight tried to open her mouth to respond, but stopped when she heard her name murmured again.

“Twilight,” Velvet groaned, voice raspy.

Suddenly the dam broke. All the pain and frustration she had been keeping inside since she left school screamed to be let out, and here was the perfect opportunity to make it happen. Her mom was fantasizing about her. She was thinking about her instead of her father.

Velvet’s pussy tightened. A deep, lust-filled moan escaped her lips and came to a stop with Twilight hilted inside. She threw her head back, completely absorbed in the moment of bliss. It was then that Twilight couldn’t stop herself. Without even thinking, she sat up, almost knocking her mother back, but catching her as she wrapped her forelegs around her. She squeezed her tight, causing Velvet to open her eyes mid orgasm.

Twilight’s mind went blank. For a moment, she thought she had climaxed herself, but it wasn’t the same. Her body was completely numb but for a surging sense of joy flooding through her entire being.

Velvet managed to glance down despite her body still tingling. She only saw Twilight’s mane melding into her chest. The hot breath of her daughter flooded her fur. With her free hoof, she petted Twilight’s mane. “What?”

Her world was suddenly flipped. She went tumbling down into the sheets as Twilight swung her onto the bed, her cock still deep inside her. Before she was even able to respond, the warmth of her daughter’s breath against her chest vanished. Soon, her shoulders were pinned onto the bed. Twilight was over her, panting like mad. Her eyes were bloodshot, the fur on her cheeks soaked. She had been crying.

“Twilight, what’s the matter?” She tried to lean up to comfort Twilight, but the young mare’s body weight kept her in place.

Twilight didn’t respond to her question. Instead, she only shifted more of her weight onto her forelegs. Velvet sank deeper into the mattress, even hissing from the pressure of the hooves against her skin. She met Twilight’s gaze, questioningly, but only found her to be staring at her, panting, barely containing herself. “Mom…” Twilight muttered.

Fear climbed up Velvet’s spine. “Twilight?” Suddenly, her body shuddered. Twilight pulled her dick nearly out of Velvet’s still sensitive sex. She hissed again from the surprising withdrawal. “Y-you’re scaring me, dear.”

Twilight shook her head as she licked her lips. Without warning, she slammed her length back inside with all her might. The bed shook from the force, and Velvet yelped. A sensation so strong she couldn’t tell if it was pleasure or pain racked her body as her daughter’s thick cock filled her in an instant.

Without any mercy, Twilight rammed herself deep into her mother’s defenseless slit over and over and over again with vigorous, deep, hard strokes. The bed creaked with each thrust, the sound of furry flesh slapping echoed off the walls, and the labored panting from both mares filled the air. Twilight hadn’t ever had control before when they had sex, but now she was completely in charge. She was finally able to show Velvet how much she cared.

At some point, the sensation solidified for Velvet. No longer between pleasure and pain, she knew now that this was utter ecstasy. Never before had she made love like this, not even with Night Light. Twilight was ruthless in her thrusting, slamming into her with full force until she couldn’t be pushed any further into the bed only to pull out and ram her again and again. Each thrust sent tidal waves through Velvet unlike anything she had felt before.

“I should’ve let her be on top before.” Velvet’s tongue lolled out of her mouth. On some level, she knew she shouldn’t have pushed Twilight into this, but between the pounding and how much Twilight was enjoying this, at least the young mare was finally able to relieve whatever was bothering her.

Suddenly Twilight collapsed on her. Her forelegs slipped from Velvet’s shoulders onto the bed. She felt the steaming hot breath of Twilight’s pants caressing her ears. Her thrusts were shallow now, barely pulling out. Velvet knew what was coming. She bit her lip in anticipation as her own body came closer and closer with Twilight. Just as she tipped over the edge, she felt Twilight bury herself in as deep as she could. Only a moment later, a warmth flooded her depths. She let out a low, pleased groan. Her forelegs instinctively reached around Twilight and squeezed her as she was filled with her daughter’s seed.

The two lay breathless for a moment. Velvet still felt Twilight’s cock pulsing, dribbling out the last of its load.

“That was certainly something…” She ran her hoof along Twilight’s back, stopping towards her rump. All she got in response was a grunt as Twilight gave a short thrust inside her again. Her senses cried out somewhere between agony and bliss. Suddenly Twilight started moving again, rocking her hips back and forth inside Velvet. Somehow, her dick managed to stay hard, ready for another round. Only Twilight’s soft, pained moaning with each thrust suggested that she was even close to finished.

Velvet found herself once more pressed into the mattress, this time held down by her daughter’s entire body rather than just her hooves.

“T-Twilight, stop! I need a moment!” she pleaded, but it only fell on deaf ears. Twilight buried the tip of her muzzle in her mom’s shoulder, moaning into her fur with each thrust.

Both were lost in a sea of excruciating pleasure. Their hyper-sensitive bodies screamed in protest, but Twilight either wouldn’t stop, or she couldn’t stop. Her hips continued to thrust, forcing her cock deep inside her mom’s cum-drenched confines. All Velvet could do was hold on, wrapping her hind legs around the younger mare’s back as she humped.

Her thrusts were shallow and less forceful this time. Velvet even felt that Twilight’s dick wasn’t as hard inside her. Her heart fluttered as she pushed her nose into her daughter’s mane. She let out a weak cry muffled by Twilight’s hair.

Suddenly, Twilight hilted inside her again. Velvet inhaled sharply as another burst of warmth flooded inside her. She moaned weakly as the gooey heat caused a small surge of ecstasy through her, almost like a miniature orgasm. Her head fell back onto the bed, too exhausted to even hold herself up anymore.

“Twilight…” she muttered.

A pulse in Twilight’s shaft stiffened it for just a moment, but almost instantly it began to go limp. Finally, Twilight pulled it out. She pulled back away from her mother, a desperate look on her face. “No! Stay hard! Don’t go soft now!”

Weakly, Velvet raised her hoof to Twilight’s foreleg. “Twilight, stop. What’s gotten into you?” she asked as her eyebrows furrowed.

Twilight looked up. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears that were just now leaking down her cheeks, her jaw firmly clenched shut, and the desperation barely contained behind her gaze. Her nostrils flared out with each panicked exhale. “B-but…”

Velvet managed to lean forward enough, bracing herself with her free foreleg. She moved her hoof from Twilight’s shoulder to her cheek, catching one of the droplets rolling over her fur. “It’s okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“You—” Twilight sniffled, cutting herself off. “You said my name.”

It took Velvet a moment to process what she said. She tilted her head to the side. “What?”

“You said my name. You said my name instead of Dad’s during.”

Velvet’s eyes widened. Slowly, she leaned back. Her gaze broke from Twilight, instead staring down, past what was in her field of view. “I…What?”

Twilight wrapped her forelegs around her mom, tackling her backwards onto the bed. “You said my name.” She rubbed her cheek into her mom’s chest, smearing the wetness on her cheeks into her fur. “Mom, I love you,” she blurted out. It didn’t even register what she was saying—she didn’t care. All she knew was her chest didn’t hurt for the first time in days.

Velvet shook her head, bringing herself back to reality. She put her hoof on Twilight’s head, idly stroking her mane. “I love you too.”

Twilight pulled her head up, shaking it. “No! I love you.”

Slowly, the meaning sank in. Velvet’s eyes widened with the realization of what Twilight was actually saying. For a moment, her heart stopped in her chest. Now it made sense. Why Twilight had been so distracted the past few days, why she was crying today, why she took control during sex. It wasn’t bullying—the poor thing was lovesick.

Meanwhile, more tears had started to leak down Twilight’s face. "I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, but it just—" Her voice grew louder.

"No," Velvet said, cutting her daughter off. It took all her might to bring her gaze to meet Twilight’s. She was on the verge of hysterics. Just below the surface, all these emotions were about to burst out like a flood, and if that happened, she wouldn’t be able to communicate with her. Velvet placed her hoof on Twilight’s cheek once more. She put a smile on her face and softly caressed her. "It’s not your fault."

“But, I—” Velvet silenced her by placing her hoof over her mouth. Without even having to be told, Twilight took a deep breath. As she held it inside, she pushed her mom’s hoof out of the way and exhaled slowly. She paused to swallow. “I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t love my mom like this.” Her tone was more controlled, but it still sounded like it was about to explode.

Velvet’s smile shifted into a frown. “Sex complicates things,” she said softly. “I can’t say I haven’t been…” She sucked air in between her teeth as she struggled for the right word. “Indulging with this, myself. It started off as some stress relief, but lately it’s been different. I’ve been asking you to do it because I enjoy it.”

Twilight nodded. “Me too.”

“I can understand your feelings, Twilight.” Velvet closed her eyes. As she thought about their nights together, her heart fluttered. Even more, she realized that Twilight wasn’t just her daughter anymore—at least, she saw her as more. They did almost everything together. She was a great companion with whom Velvet was sharing her life. Slowly, her thoughts returned to that look she saw in Twilight’s eyes before they began. The validation she felt from her daughter’s gaze was indeed familiar. She had felt it from her husband when he was still alive. It was a recognition of the same feelings she felt. She felt the love in Night Light’s eyes when he looked at her, and now she felt that in Twilight.

If Twilight was being honest, Velvet knew she had to be as well. Both with herself and with her daughter. “Why do you have to take after me in all the wrong places?” She opened her eyes, staring deep into Twilight’s. The younger mare stared back at her, confused. “I love you too,” she said softly.

She watched as Twilight’s jaw fell slack. “Y-you…know what I mean, right?”

Velvet nodded.

“Mom!” Twilight tackled her again, only for a shorter distance. She squeezed her mom tightly. “B-but…” She sniffled, holding back the urge to burst into tears. “What about Dad? Isn’t this…like, cheating?”

Velvet furrowed her brow. “It’s complicated, I guess. I still love your father—very much. No pony could ever replace him.” She paused, to take a deep breath. Her heart slowed a bit and she wrapped her forelegs around Twilight. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t love you too, Twilight.”

The younger mare sniffled again. The room fell silent for a short while as they simply lay there in each other’s embrace. But even though she managed to say her feelings, and even though they were reciprocated, she still felt uneasy. Their relationship, as much as she tried to prevent it, had changed. “What even are we anymore?” Her voice grew soft, barely above a whisper. “Can we even still be called a family?”

“You’re still my daughter.” Velvet buried her muzzle in Twilight’s mane. “But now you’re just a bit more. It’s the same for you, isn’t it?”

Twilight sat silent. She took a deep breath, feeling her heart finally slowing down for what felt like the first time that day. “I guess it is.”

“Your place in my heart has just expanded a little,” Velvet replied.

There was a small pause. “It’s still not right though…” Twilight muttered as her eyelids grew heavy. “A parent and child shouldn’t feel like this towards one another.”

“Not much about what we do is right anymore.” She kissed Twilight on the head. “But I think we’ve both accepted that.”

“I suppose.” Twilight closed her eyes. Now that her heart and mind had a chance to slow down, she realized she was completely exhausted. “Good night, mom.”

“Good night, dear.” Velvet replied, softly. Her hoof fell on her stomach, gently rubbing her almost swollen belly as her daughter’s lust seeped from her sex.

Author's Note

After an incredibly long delay, I spent some time dabbling in the fine art of necromancy to resurrect this fic from the dead.

So, for those who thought it was abandoned, it wasn't. Just on a ~~little~~ long break while I finished some other stories. I now return you to your regularly scheduled incest.

Editing for this chapter provided by: Pegasus Mesa