An Army of Two

the only easy day,was yesterday.

Scott’s POV

Location: Everfree Castle

Time: 12:00 Date: The fifteenth of July

After shooting the shit with Jacob, I said, “Lets go talk to the ponies and see what’s up.” As we entered the throne room, I gazed over the ponies. There looks reminded me of being a badly beaten and undersupplied guard unit. That usually disappears once the space marines arrive to kick ass, however as I looked over the room I looked at the tent I could see a lot of sleeping bags and pillows all. I also looked over the apothecary, there was a single creature on it and all I saw of her was that her main was that it was yellow. the room looked to be a old throne room. I looked over the walls and ceiling both were weather from age and lack of proper maintenance[then again the fake it stood for a thousands years  without a single tech priest to fix it up is pretty impressive even in the imperium there it was a constant fight to keep anything and everything in a good state of repair.  But I digressed as I spoke to the huddled mass of fur“Hello. Can any of you tell me whats going on here?”

One of the [mares] ‘Is that the right word?’ I wondered to myself, but I quickly shook off the rogue thought. She was a zebra, and she stood about 5`7. She had one HUGE set of boobes on her {DD cup said my helmet}, and she also had an awesome hourglass figure. I quickly shook my mind out of the gutter and listened to her{I think her name is zacor..no no thats not right name. Zecora thats it!}

“We are here because rogue caribou.” She said. “ We managed to escape their evil reign. They rape and kill whoever they want . Young, old it doesn't matter to them. They killed any resistance  off with metal contraptions, and did something to the stallions. Stallions i've know for a long time doing unspeakable acts that they would never do.”

Jacob stepped up, pointing his revolver at the ceiling. “Did there metal contraptions sound like this?” He pressed the trigger, and the firearm went off, and dust came falling from where the bullet had impacted. All the mares took a step away, nodding with fear in their eyes as they looked at Jacob like he was a demon from Hell. Some rolled up in a ball and started to cry a little, while others huddled together as far away from him as possible.

“I hope you don't bring the ceiling down on us you moron. It already looks flimsy at best! What were you thinking!” I scolded Jacob. "This thing is centuries old!” I looked up at the ceiling with worry, making sure it wouldn't come down on us.

“Relax!” Jacob told me. “This place is made of stone. Won’t be coming down anytime soon!”

“I don't care you moron, look! They’re scared of you! And may I remind you that the ceiling is not made of stone, it's MADE OF THATCH!” I yelled at him.

He sighed. “Fine! If you wanna say this structure is structurally unstable, why don’t you fix it up, Enginseer?” He asked me.

“I'M A IRON PRIEST! I FIX WEAPONS, TANKS, POWER ARMOR, I'M NOT A FRAKEN COGBOY” I yelled at him, before sighing. “But I guess I could do some work on this place. But! I need materials like steel or if i have to, iron.”

“Sooo… We wanna make this place our new home? Does that mean laser turrets?” Jacob asked me.

I sighed. “Maybe. But we need to recon the nearest town for more intel before we do anything serious .” I told him.

“Hey! Where’s the nearest town?” I asked the mares, who seemed calm enough.

“Follow the dirt trail. It will take you to Ponyville.” The mare with light black hair and a grey coat said.

“Thanks.” Jacob said. Turning towards me, he said, “I’ll do the recon, you sit here and do what you can.”

“why you may need me I have heavier armor and if you need support if they also have heavy armor like tanks or stuff my bolter can pierce that stuff in seconds,”

He said, “You’re a huge hunk of metal. This mission would be more shooting people and less recon. Besides, Artyom is used to this shit! I leave at twelve.” He patted me on my shoulder, making a clunking noise, before walking to his room.

“ok but if you see any and I mean ANY CHAOS  symboles your get your ass back here got it?” I told him.

He paused. “Eh… What do those look like again?” He chuckled a bit.

“To describe this is to incite there evils so I must go with you if you don't remember the one hour long lecture I gave you in my truck when we went to the con.” I told him. the mares looked at me weirdly when I said con.

“Eh… Look for anything alien looking? Or maybe religious? You know what, there must be an extra fucking video camera, or even a radio!” He replied.

“My helmet has a vox unite but I don't know about you?” I said.

He paused. “I can get one from the enemy. Nothing too difficult! When I get one, what should I set the frequency too?”

“Don't! Just bring it back to me I can set It up right so that can't listen in on our conversations ok?” I told him.

“Got it.” He nodded. “See ya later!”

Jacob’s POV

Location: Edge of Ponyville

Time: 12:00 AM

Date: Sixteenth of July

I was crouched at the edge of Ponyville, hiding behind a house. There were lights all around, keeping the place illuminated, meaning I would have to find a way to shut them off. Peeking from behind the house, I looked down the street. Houses lined the street, different colors, and all looking cheery and colorful. The street was made from cobble, and looked well used. Lights were everywhere, and a speaker blared that anyone past curfew would be given to the mayor.

Suddenly, a pink colored mare came running out of a house, a stallion with a creepy grin and crazed look in his eyes running after her. She was losing ground though, and she tripped and stumbled. That was enough for the stallion to catch up and grab her. “Now, now.” I heard him say. “Don’t you want to have a good time?” He started to drag her back to the house she had burst out of.

The mare must’ve seen me, though, because she yelled, “Help me! Please!” She was crying, tears streaming down her face. I held a finger over my mouth to be silent, and took my revolver out.

“I love the fact that I was prepared for everything.” I had put a silencer on it earlier. Peeking out again, I aimed for the stallions head. Steadying my breathing, I pressed the trigger. There pop, and the stallion fell to the ground, blood leaking from the hole in his head. “Get to the Everfree castle!” I told her, and she nodded, running out of the town. I looked at the body I did not feel bad for killing him in my opinion it was the right thing to do, But its strange they try and tell you killing is bad,evil,hard, and other stuff yet all it took for me to kill him was a shot in the head there. was no trouble there was no feeling of shock,of horror for the act it was simply a muscle movement that killed him

Looking back out, I opened the window to the house I was next to, and jumped in, closing it behind me. When I got in, I gagged. There was the scent of sex and death in the air. I was in what looked like a kitchen. There was a counter with bloody knives on it. A sink was against the wall, the dead body of a child crammed in it. Next to it was a row of cabinets, and when I opened it, another dead child rolled out. There was a table in the center that was stained red with blood. Where there was supposed to be fruit in a fruit bowl, there was organs.

Even with all of Artyom's memories of years of violence and death, the things I was seeing made me sick to my stomach. I just managed to force the bile down when I heard someone speaking in the front room, I walked over, my knife in hand, revolver back in its holster. Walking through the entrance, I was in once was a living room. Now, it was full of dead children, their bodies stacked anywhere, blood staining everything in the room. Organs were hung on the walls, like some sort of decoration, and in the middle of the room was a stallion. He had a dark brown mane and a light brown coat. He was muttering, “Tick Tock does the clock! Suddenly you’re dead!” He was holding a knife in one of his hands, and his coat had blood all over it. Seeing him made me angry. Really angry.

I walked forward, my knife raised to kill him. “So, I see you’ve come to join the party.” He said, turning his head to look at me, before he sprang up, slashing his knife at me. I blocked the first slash, and the second, but the third got me on the shoulder, cutting deep.

“You’ll pay for that, you bastard!” I growled, holding my knife in front of me, before running at him. I stabbed at his stomach, but he blocked and tried to slash my other shoulder, leaning to the left, I dodged, and kicked his groin, only to meet thin air.

“Don’t you know not to play dirty?” He asked, standing half a foot back from where he was. I gave him the finger, before putting my knife away, and grabbing my revolver. He rushed at me, but I jumped to the left. My foot hit something, and when I glanced down, I saw a little girl with a red maine and yellow coat. Aiming the revolver, I pulled the trigger, and there was another soft pop. The bullet that hit the stallion in the heart contained the souls of the children he killed getting revenge.

"I'm sorry." I told the dead children, before I jumped out the opposite window in an alley, where there was next to no light. Well, Artyom was used to the dark, living in the Metro and all, so I could see as if it was daytime. Walking through to the other side, I saw a pony like thing that had a tan coat and antlers.

"Yeah." It said to what I presumed was a radio on its ear. "The stallion was dead. Bullet to the brain. Don't know how that happened, though. We're the only ones with guns." He walked towards the alley entrance. I flattened myself on the wall, and when he passed by, I grabbed his neck and covered his mouth, before waiting for him to stop struggling. Feeling the piece of plastic that was on his ear, I grabbed it before I took my knife out and slit his throat.

"Least you died painlessly, buddy." I told it. Getting up, I peeking around the corner. No one was there. It looked like I was in the center of town. There was a giant tree, with a sign that said 'Golden Oaks Library.' Sprinting across, I opened the door, and shut it quietly behind me. Inside the library was books. Lots and lots of books. But also pieces of paper everywhere. Walking in, I grabbed one of the pieces of paper. There was something on it, some kind of symbol. It looked alien enough to bring back. Sticking it in my pocket, I went further in. I walked into a kitchen that had a fridge, table with two chairs, and some counterspace and cabinets. What really worried me was the broken chains on the floor. Walking out of the kitchen, I saw a door that must've led to the basement. Walking down the stairs, I heard whimpering. Getting down, the basement was filled with lab equipment that was scattered everywhere.

Tied to a heavy looking piece of machinery was a mare with dark purple hair with a hot pink streak in it, a lighter purple coat, and a horn. The rope was tied around her neck, and obviously  she was hurt. I started to walk forward, but she heard me. "Spike, please don't hurt me!" She pleaded, before looking up. "Y-you're not Spike. Who are you?" She asked.

"Jacob. Now come on, we're getting you out of here." I told her, walking forward.

She scrambled away. "No! I won't let you! I will never be your toy!"

I took a step back. "You wouldn't. God. Not all of us are killing or sex machines. Now come on, we need to get you out."

"How do I know you're not lying?" She asked. I was getting impatient, and instead of answering, walked over to the rope keeping her trapped and cut it, before picking her up and putting her over my shoulder. "Let me down!" She said, hitting my back.

"No." I started to walk upstairs.

"Let me down!" She yelled.

"Shut up. Do you want everyone in town to hear us?" I told her. That shut her up. I started to walk up the stairs, and when I got up, I paused. "Hey, would it be OK for me to burn this place to the ground?"

She shook her head. "Absolutely not! This is filled with valuable books and knowledge!"

"Hey, I love books. Besides, it'd give us a distraction to escape." Taking out my bullet lighter, I pressed the trigger, and held it to one of the pieces of paper. Making sure it was burning, I set it on a book,before walking out the door, and started to run out of town, the tree burning behind us.

"My beautiful library." The mare whispered, a tear rolling down her face.

"It's OK. Don't worry about it. We can always rebuild it." I said. "But where we're going, it's safe."

We spent the rest of the time walking towards the castle chatting about books.

Meanwhile back at the castle

 After jacob left I turned to one of the pones. “Ok is there anything here I could use as building material?”

“Umm...Yes there some stone and some metal in a lower storage area of the castle” She said hopefully. ok

“ok take me to it I have a fortress monastery to build” I said only half jokingly.

“a fortress monastery? What's that?” She asked with her head cooked at me it was all I could do from hugging her because it was so cute wow that weird saying that to a xeno.

“A fortress monastery is the home to a space marine chapter but since it's only me well I think it be awesome to build my own.” Soon, we made our way to the room as I looked over the material   well not to bad as I worried I can put  most of it.I Began to bring it up to the upper levels I began the long process of fixing the outer wall s first but I was not even  half way though and i've already run out of martials. Damn it I went back to the lower leaves to locate more martials, but no luck  I returned the the throne room most of them were gathered near a new pony here coat was pink so was her hair..wait a damn minute its pinky!!.

“Who are you” I asked[ just so that she would not question why I already know her name] all of them turned around to face me. The new mare spoke to me first

“I'm Pinkie Pie." She said sadly. Her mane was a dark pink and was flat, and her whole being oozed sadness. This wasn't the Pinkie that loved to cheer everyone up, this was Pinkamena Diane Pie, the other side of Pinkie.

“Scott Kraner tech priest of the space wolves Adeptus Astartes or space marines if you want a term you could understand.

“Whats a space marine?”asked pinkamena

“I believe it best to quote the God Emperor of Mankind on this subject

"They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them and in the furnace of war forge them. They shall be of iron will and steel sinew. In great armour I shall clad them and with the mightiest weapons they will be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease; no sickness shall blight them. They shall have such tactics, strategies and machines that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Space Marines and they shall know no fear."

“WOW” said all of the ponies there were amazed {I managed to strike a heroic pose}

There was a slow clap from the entrance, and Jacob said, "Well done. Quite nice. Medic!" He dropped a purple maned pony onto a cot.

"Twilight," Pinkie shouted.

"And the gate isn't all that secure. It fell off its hinges when I pushed it open." Jacob said.

...

“I just fixed the fraken gate how in the hell did you break it” I yelled at my moron friend in my anger I thow my thunder hammer at his head the hammer flew just over his head just in time to kill a Caribou by turning him into a red smear on the ground and wall thanks to the hammers gravity manipulation properties the sound of thunder shaking the room.

"I have a penchant for breaking things. Get down!" He yelled, dropping to the floor the ponies all followed, even the one he had just carried. But I did not I stood tall the bullets hit all over my armored frame  but other than A annoying pinging sound from the rounds,left no real damage I leveled my bolter and opened fire on the caribou. One  was shot in the gut a half a second later the bolt went off the only thing left of him was his boots and the upper part of his head.the gore spread across his comrades most of them stopped in shock of his death but one ran screaming at me only to have his head launched off of his neck thanks to my fist. 30 seconds of fire later there was no live caribou in the throne room.

”Dumb bastard Let check to see if there any more in the castle,”

I heard Jacob tell the mares, “Stay down and wait here until we get back.”

 “ No You have to stay here incase they get around me and my pups and attack the girls understand?”I told my friend and fellow human.

 “Didn’t you say your dogs are superpowered or something? Why not have them stay here and protect the girls? Asked Jacob

 I Replied “because there PREDATORS!  They don't protect, they hunt “

“Fine.fine go. tell me if anything interesting happens.Said jacob. he proceeded to sit on his ass and pull out a book to read.

I moved over to pick up my thunder hammer that was laying wedged in the hallways wall with a red smear all around it. I smiled at the weapon as I picked it up I placed my bolter on my hip and carried the hammer in both hands..

THERE will Be Blood..

I called  for my pups they came running down the hall to me all of them seems ready for a fight

A caribou came running from the the other hallway trying to cut me ithe t puny knife only to have my servo arm tear his head off while I wasn't looking, my servo arm brought the head so that i could get a good look at it his face was one of undeniable fear i smiled at the severed head looks like I have my first servo skull I placed the severed body part on my belt and soon we were off the the next five minutes were boring but I did here gun shoots from the throne room Well at least he has something to do! but then I managed to find a large group of carbui just over fifteen in all I looked at my pups and told them to “STAY” then a I ran at the poor bastards swinging the sound of thunder rumbled thought hall bringing strength to me as I tuned the mass of solids/liquid into a gas state of being

“hahahah” My evil laugh  echoed of the wall echoing all throughout the castle

“Dame wheres my Ipod? Ill kill this bastards swifter with a good song.”

I started to check my pockets for it only found my clips, two energy bars, A small can of redbull,and a few empty pockets and “there it is I pulled the old device out and started to fish for a song “ heres a good one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N0D3HBqRqU  as I purge the castle of the beast  there was little excitement because none of them proved a threat In the end i aquired 7 skulls the I could turn into servo skulls.

“Well back to the throne room” as I began the march back..

Jacob's POV

"Get down!" I yelled, dropping to the floor. The ponies all followed, even the one I had just carried. A swarm of bullets followed, pinging harmlessly off Scott's armor.

The sound of Scott's Holy Bolter firing echoed through the room, and when it stopped, I assumed it was safe to get up.

"Dumb bastards. Lets check to see if there are anymore in the castle." Scott said.

Getting up, I told the mares, "Stay down and wait until we get back."

“No! You have to stay here in case they get around me and my pups and attack the girls. Understand?” He asked me.

I told him, “Didn’t you say your dogs are superpowered or something? Why not have them stay here and protect the girls?”

“Because they’re PREDATORS! They don’t protect, they hunt!” Scott replied.

“Fine, fine, go. Tell me if anything interesting happens.” I said, sitting down on the ground and pulling a book out of one of my pockets. The title of the book was Metro 2033.  “"Ю маке ми лифе соу боринг!"

The mares glanced at each other with a confused look. “Oh, sorry. With the change, I sometimes speak russian. The bright side is that I can translate it. Uh... That meant 'Sometimes you make my life so boring.'" I flipped a page as I heard Scott's thunder hammer going off.

The mares started to huddle together for no reason. "What? I'm not that violent!" I told them, before yelling, "Ублюдок! Я называю чушь!" Behind us, there were ten caribou, all the guns trained on me. They had grappled in the window apparently as soon as Scott left.

"Dis gun be good." I muttered, before jumping up and grabbing my Kalash and running to get behind the giant throne. Peeking from behind cover, a hail of bullets impacted the area next to my face. The mares were scattered all around. One was even behind the Caribou. It was the pink one that seemed so sad. Now she was holding a knife, and her eyes were going slightly crazy.

"Hey Pinkie! Get the Caribou and gut them, will ya?" I yelled across the room.

There was no response besides someone screaming, "My manliness is gone! I'm a woman now!" And other such screams. Coming from out of cover, I saw there was still one Caribou who had to go down. Taking aim, I pressed the trigger then let go, the three rounds hitting him square in the chest.

Pinkie was bloodstained, but not really worse for wear. She had dropped the knife, and her mane had gone poofy and and she was smiling. "That was fun!" She exclaimed.

"OK..." I said, walking over to the other Caribou, only two completely still. "Welp, learn not to attack when Pinkie Pie is here, guys." I said, before shooting the rest of them in the head, rather than let them slowly bleed out. It was pretty much a mercy kill.

I heard Scott's evil laugh. "Это смех всегда делал меня пугают." Slinging my Kalash over my back, I crouched down to the nearest Caribou and started to take his weapons, ammo, grenades, and just anything useful he had on him.

"Why are you doing that?" I could hear the disgust in Zecora's tone.

"Because you mares are gonna need to know how to shoot, and this is a gift from heaven." I told them.

"Learn how to shoot? Ooh, that sounds so cool! I can go 'bang!' And 'boom!'" Pinkie said excitedly.

"If I must." One of the ones who had found me awake said.

"Sergeant Carrot Top reporting for duty!" Carrot Top, I assumed she was called, said, giving me a fake salute.

"Absolutely not! Magic is more than enough!" Twilight said. "Or better yet, settle this peacefully!" She yelled.

I facepalmed. "You think that there can be peace talks?" I asked quietly. She nodded. "You're wrong. They don't deserve peace. They don't even deserve to be called Caribou. I was back where I found you, a few houses down. I went in, through the window into the kitchen. There... Just... The person I was cosplaying as has seen bad things, Twilight. Done bad things. But what was in there? You just don't do that of your own free will."

Twilight smiled. "And what could be so bad that it would make you like this? A mare getting raped? That's daily now." She told me. "Just wanted you to know."

I paused. "Hey Twilight? Ever wonder what a house full of dead and gutted children looks like?" I asked her, before walking off into the corner of the room, sitting down, and reading. Back at where the others were, Twilight was left with her mouth slightly open, before closing it and walking towards a tent. Looking around, I took in my surroundings for once. It was a large open room, filled with little nooks and crevices, perfect for hiding or storing food, weapons, and such things. Mostly though, I just thought on what I had told Twilight.

"She should learn that not everything is so peaceful. Or that the world won't always bow down to her." Sighing, I went back to my book.

A few minutes after that, Scott walked in, before sitting down in the center of the room. "Everybody get out of their hiding holes and gather around me!" He yelled. "Now!" Everybody but me began walking towards the blood stained Iron Priest. You can't tell me what to do!

"No." I said, flipping a page in my book. Leave me alone. Not gonna go and sit with you guys. So stop annoying me.

I continued to read my book when.

Bonk.

"What the fuck was that for?" I gave him the middle finger, rubbing my head with my other hand.

“what the hell” I looked at the severed head of a carbui its mouth open as if to scream.

“why the fuck do you have this and why the fuck did you thought it at me. also what the hell is wrong with you i mean a SEVERED HEAD NOW THATS FUCKED UP” I yelled

“I will be using them for servo skulls thats why I grabbed them. Also the next will hit your manhood so get over here!” He said. That fucking bitch... I will cut yours off with a rusty old nail!

I gave him the middle finger again, before getting up and walking over. "This is ridiculous."

He glared at me. "I don't know what happened. I don't want to. But right now, I want you to apologize! But first, who did whatever?"

Twilight spoke. "I may have suggested peace... With the Caribou. Then Jacob said they didn't even need to be called Caribou, and told me why. It looked... Painful to recall.”

 scott sighed and shook his head. "What'd he tell you?" He ask Twilight.

"If I ever wondered what a house full of dead and gutted children looked like." She replied.

"Hey Scott?" I asked him. "Ever seen this symbol?" I showed him the piece of paper I took from Twilight's library.

as scott picked the piece of paper to look at the symbol and he crushed the paper and screamed

“HERESY!"

A/N

Scott's helmet continues on its pervy streak! Will it continue, or will we finally put an end to it! Find out next episode in... Whatever this is. A fanfiction, right? Yeah, next chapter of this fanfiction!

"Ю маке ми лифе соу боринг!"- Sometimes you make my life so boring

"Ублюдок! Я называю чушь!"- Motherfuckers! I call bullshit!

Это смех всегда делал меня пугают- That laugh always did scare me