My Little Pony: Quest for the Holy Grail

Alberto looked out of the shadow of his half-closed eyes. He groped around him in the darkness. The stench in the air was just about unbearable.

"Amigos, donde estava..." he yawned. The sight of a paper floating down to the ground before his very eyes made him sit bolt upright and jerk himself into full wakefulness!

He soon found out that the elevator shaft had become nothing more than a piece of hardened stone, and his twelve furry equine friends were snoring on the ground. Taking the paper in his hand, he put it under Snips's horn.

ZAP! Snips's horn zapped the paper (it was unaffected) and he woke up! "Don Alberto! How did we end up here?" he gasped.

"Beats me," said Alberto; "I remember just now the elevator seemed problematic somewhat.... and next thing I knew I was here with you all, and this paper came floating down and woke me up."

By this time the other eleven ponies had woken up and were slowly trotting toward their human leader.

"That's a scroll you've got in your left forehoof, Alberto," said Big McIntosh. "Let me read it."

"For your information, Mac, it's MY sister who's sending us those scrolls!" murmured Shining Armour. "I should be the one to read it!"

"BASTA!" Alberto suddenly broke in. "Por l'amor de Dios! We’ve had enough of this! If you have any issues, you can sort it out after we've found the Holy Grail! For now, I will be the one to read every scroll that comes!"

And so saying he snatched the parchment from Big McIntosh's hoof and read it:

Good job, everypony! You all just got through another extremely scary situation! That storage area where you were in just now was one of the most high-risk areas in the Vaults of Heaven, but fortunately you all have taken care of it well!

By the time you find this scroll, you all should be in the prison, in the basement of the Vaults of Heaven. Don't worry, you're all getting closer to the Holy Grail than you think. You need to find your way out of the prison into the Cistern, then to the Morgue, and to the Control Room. Lots more clues are there for you to be able to more easily locate and retrieve the Holy Grail. Your task will be to use the clues you find in these places, to carry you all through to the Nave, which will be your next destination.

Monsters are not as aplenty here as earlier on, but be ready for encounters, because from here onwards, they will be far more dangerous than you think. Use Excalibur as and when the need arises. Buona fortuna!

Sincerely,

Twilight Sparkle

"Ebben! Without further ado, andiamo!" ordered Alberto. "Everypony stick close, don't EVER lose sight of one another!”

The party of thirteen slowly walked forward. There was a huge gaol-style door before them, hanging off its hinges but blocked by a multitude of debris of all sorts.

“Immediately remove the debris!” ordered Alberto. He and the ponies immediately began kicking, bucking, or (for the light enough rocks) carrying and throwing them behind.

“Vabbene! The coast is clear! Let’s go in!” said Alberto, after everypony had finished moving the debris away.

“Be careful of the door!” said Derpy.

This was a VERY dark cavernous hall with walls of stone that had been corroded by moss for ages. It was about as spacious as the storage, but certainly more tunnel-like. The party carefully plodded through, getting themselves ready for a monster encounter.

The first area they came to was a squarish hall labelled “Cell Area 1”. There were at least five doors — four of them ajar and leading to cells, the fifth was padlocked tightly for some reason — and one other passageway in this area.

“There seems to be nothing of interest in any of them cells,” said Snips, peering into each cell in turn and making sure there was no monster.

“BOM! BOM! BOM!!!” A loud sound suddenly came from behind the fifth door!!!

“Caramba!” gasped Alberto. “Let me go take a look!”

He peered into the grilles of the fifth door’s window. He could faintly make out something moving on the other side of the room beyond the locked door. He thought it was a Grunt at first, but it looked very different; its skin was khaki instead of white, and its left forearm (the attacking arm) was nothing more than a huge cleaver grafted into the body. Also it had a faster and more steady walking gait.

“A Grunt?” asked Snails, curious.

“Ahem…. never mind, anyways, this door is apparently barred,” said Alberto. “Let’s go on down that hallway.”

They stepped into another similar squarish hall, next thing they knew, a Grunt appeared before them walking to the left!!!

“LOOK OUT!” yelled Braeburn. “He’s gonna get us!”

“I’ll help you finish him off!” shouted Shining Armour, rearing back and then lunging forward with his horn aimed at the Grunt. The Grunt whacked the wall, causing the ground to shake and the ponies and Alberto to get blown back two steps! Then it began to close in for the kill!!

The other ponies stood back, while Shining Armour and Alberto combined their horn and sword respectively to fend off this Grunt. But the death blow was dealt to the Grunt by young Snails, who lurched forward in a desperate attempt, goring the Grunt in its genitals with his horn. The Grunt gave a weird gurgling sound and then slumped lifeless across the floor.

“There’s something in that cell door over there,” whispered Braeburn.

“I’ll get it,” said Thunderlane. He galloped over to one of the four cells in this section, and found another note from Michael’s journal. He took it over to the others who were waiting. Alberto read the note:

Juni 15, 2038 AD / Samstag, 1900uhr / Regens

Lieber Journal,

The biggest regret I have ever had is in getting those two dummkopfs to be part of us. I should have told Aeron to just finish off Griflet and Bedevere when they put up resistance against him that day. I knew for the longest time that they were never one of us. No amount of Medikation or coaxing could convince them. Even their most “convinced” looks were clearly brave fronts. If provoked they would surely attack.

Now I’ve just done the unthinkable. And I can’t believe this, I just can’t. I’ve had to bind them hand and foot so that they can’t move until I have them shipped via express courier service to Bolivia. Kudos to my other servants for having played a big part in helping me do this, some of whom have willingly laid down their lives.

Now all Cheese Sandwich and I are waiting for, is that day. Five days from now I will be making arrangements for their shipment which will be the first thing the following day.

M.V.

“Caramba! He’s imprisoned the two boys!” cried Alberto. “He’s put them in shackles! These two are the boys whom Demoman was taking care of, and who are the only two now who can give us any clue as to the Holy Grail’s Exact Location!”

“It’s already June 20th, Alberto,” said Big McIntosh. “Michael will be shipping them out today. I doubt we stand a chance with regard to the boys. My suggestion is that we just find the Grail, which is our priority on this quest. Griflet and Bedevere can wait for now.”

“I somehow feel for the two biped kids, don’t ask me why,” said Braeburn, his eyes filling with tears.

“Diam la, Braeburn!” Big McIntosh nudged his cousin. “We’ve got to get to the Cistern now!”

“But how?” wondered Alberto. “We seem to be stuck here. Shining Armour, are you sure your sister gave us the right information?”

Shining Armour shrugged. “She has never once been wrong when it comes to matters like these,” he said. “I’m sure you all know my sister’s fierce character.”

It was once again Snips who detected something unusual. He and Snails were in one of the cells in this section playing on a bed which they found was hollow when they jumped on it.

“Guys, this bed seems hollow,” called out Snips.

“Looks like the exit is down there!” cried Braeburn.

“Let’s get in!” shouted Flash Sentry.

The ponies all pulled the bed aside and saw a cavernous hole just nice for a big horse to fit inside. Alberto went in first, then one by one the other ponies followed after him.

* * *

It was in this period of time that the plane that was carrying Sean Brink and Dario Perez was still caught in the tornado. All the passengers on board were in a frenzy, demanding their money back.

The captain was clearly unable to control the plane. “Captain! Make an emergency landing!!!” yelled Brink.

“Fuck it all!” yelled Perez. “Captain, DO SOMETHING!”

“Pointless brah, it’s pointless!” cried Brink. “Tell you what! I’ll take matters into my own hands! You got your stuff in your bag? Go get it NOW!”

“SI!” yelled Perez, as he grabbed his handcarrier from its compartment. He opened it and took out a tripod. Using the tripod, in the midst of all the chaos, he bashed the cockpit door open. “Guns!” he shouted to Brink.

Brink ran up, snatched the tripod, and whacked out the captain and the assistant captain. “We’ll take over the fucking plane if you won’t do it!” he yelled. “I’ve got flying experience!” And so saying, he kicked the captain and assistant captain, both unconscious, out of the cockpit.

The passengers grew even more wild. The situation was increasingly getting out of hand. “Calm down, everypony, calm down!” called out Perez. “We are your new captains and we will fly you to a place you will all want to go!”

“We want our money back!” yelled the passengers. “WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!”

“Equestria, is it?” Brink nudged Perez.

“Yes! YES! Now just fly on!” shouted Perez. Then turning back to the passengers, he yelled, “Now just relax, stay calm, we will fly you out of trouble right away!”

He jumped back into the cockpit, slammed the door and locked it tightly, and sat down next to Brink, who was handling the controls. “Sean, you sure you can manage?” he asked.

“The plane’s left wing is on fire thanks to the tornado,” said Brink. “I just flew it through a cloud. Behold, the fire is gone. We just have to try and manoeuvre more carefully now because we’re half a wing down.”

“I think I see Equestria over there,” said Perez, looking ahead. “And behold, that isn’t Manehattan, or is it..?"

The noise from the angry passengers outside the cockpit gradually got louder and louder. By this time the captain and assistant captain had come to. Together with the mob of angry passengers, they broke open the door and tried to snatch back the controls from Brink and Perez. The two megavillains put up a violent and ferocious resistance as best as they could.

“Give me that back, criminal!” yelled the captain, grabbing the plane’s throttle from Brink.

“You get the fuck out of here you motherfucker!” yelled Perez, raising the tripod and whacking the captain again. But the assistant captain blocked it just in time and gave Perez a mega whack with a random passenger’s golf club. The plane began to spin out of control, and in their heat of anger, Brink and Perez did not half realise where it was headed for, as much as did the captain, assistant captain, and all the passengers…..

* * *

“You won’t believe this!” said Rarity, as she stepped into Fluttershy’s house. “The National Equestrian Archives in Manehattan has just been bombed by a stray plane believed to have come from Earth!”

“I didn’t know about that,” said Fluttershy. “When did it happen?”

“Last night in the wee hours!” said Rarity. “Until now there’s still no news of the Holy Grail, or Alberto, or the Twelve!”

“Alas!” said Fluttershy; “I was asleep all night. I didn’t know anything.”

“It’s gonna be in the news,” said Rarity. “Come, let me show you."

She took out a Canterlot TImes newspaper and showed it to Fluttershy. It seemed that the National Equestrian Archives had indeed been blown up by a stray and out-of-control, possibly hijacked, aeroplane which was believed to have flown in from Earth. According to sources, the plane was a Boeing 757 Flight number SQ152, halfway on its journey to Bolivia from Russia across the Pacific Ocean. As it was night-time when the incident took place, nopony in the archives was killed (given that there was no-one inside), however, there were no survivors among the plane’s passengers and crew. Also, much of Equestria’s archived information, much of them top secret, had been destroyed as a result of the impact with the plane.

“This is a sad day indeed!” sighed Fluttershy. “Thanks to Aeron Vartan, we now have no security blanket to cover our principality!"

“That’s not all,” said Rarity. “There’s another article here. Even more interesting.”

She showed Fluttershy another newspaper, the Herald Tribune from Earth. There was another article there. It seemed that among the passengers were two Latin American citizens, both apparently travelling to Bolivia in the hope of attending the “much-awaited and long-expected Università di Canterlot” pony convention, the first ever in the central South American republic. 43-year-old Chilean Sean Anthony Brink, and his Colombian companion Dario Flavio Perez, 48, the two directors of well-known construction MNC Sparkle Enterprises, were also the organisers of that very convention, and so in their haste to be back home on time for it, they caught the ill-fated SQ152. No trace of their bodies had been found by Earthly authorities as of press time.

“So — looks like Sean Brink and Dario Perez are dead,” said Fluttershy. “Is that good, or is that bad?"

“Don’t be too happy yet,” said Rarity, raising a warning hoof. “We need to do first things first. We need to make sure we help clean up Manehattan. We need to rush down there to help our fellow equines.”

When they got to Manehattan, they were shocked to see Princess Twilight Sparkle and a new biped standing next to her. Captain Hook was giving a speech to the ponies.

“That guy must be here to bring tidings of death,” said Fluttershy.

“Diam first and listen,” said Rarity.

“I am Captain James Hook, a friend in distress whom Don Alberto rescued,” said Captain Hook. “It’s a long story as to how he rescued me, but he saved me from my mutinying crew. Since young I have been a fan of yours, thanks to a younger female relative who also was one of your biggest fans. First of all, I want to thank Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle for taking me over here to you, so that I can help out with your local security matters in the absence of Don Alberto. Secondly, and most importantly, I am aware that this day is really tragic for all of us here, pony and human alike, after what has just been witnessed. Nevertheless, there is no time to waste. Let us, the citizens of Equestria, altogether clean up this mess and put the city of Manehattan back in order once again! No-one owes us a living; we have to be self-sufficient!

Get down, get down, and move it all around!

Get down, get down, and move it all around!

You’re the one for me, you’re my ecstasy,

You’re the one I need!

Thus Interim Defense Knight Captain James Hook sang out his orders to everypony present.

“No time to waste!” said Rarity. “Let’s help to rebuild the city at once!”

In a matter of hours, the rubble was successfully cleared from the city of Manehattan. “Now,” declared Princess Twilight Sparkle, “we will have to leave the rebuilding for tomorrow, I guess everypony is tired out. Please go to your homes and rest. We will continue rebuilding tomorrow.”

Later after everypony had gone home, Princess Twilight approached Rarity. “You’ll be in charge of the rebuilding,” she said, sternly. “You’re such a good fashion designer. I trust you’ll make the town look more beautiful than ever before. Please report to me and Captain Hook at the castle tomorrow first thing. This is an order."

* * *

Michael Valdez rubbed his hands in glee. “I think we’ve done our job successfully,” he said to Cheese Sandwich. “But how did that tornado happen anyways? I mean, isn’t it thanks to the tornado that Sean and Dario successfully did themselves in?”

“It amazes me too, but it seems to me that heaven is on our side,” said Cheese Sandwich. “To think that of all planes, Sean and Dario boarded that one. So THEIR convention was more important than helping us to secure the Holy Grail after all!”

“Right you are, they were only making use of us, so we will need to get back at them!” declared Michael. “But first, we need to turn Garcia and those twelve equines into mincemeat; they are, after all, the biggest threat to our existence, and that’s something we can’t argue with!”

Suddenly, from the ceiling came a loud sound.

“Kruzitürcken! What are those assholes doing now?” cried Valdez. “They surely can’t have…. come this far, can they??”

“I’d better go make sure the monsters are on their duty!” gasped Cheese Sandwich.

* * *

Cheese Sandwich and Valdez were rightfully fearful, for by this time, Alberto and the Twelve had found themselves in an underground tunnel, and successfully made their way out of it to another prison. The next scroll was waiting them there.

“I’ll read it,” said Alberto. He picked up the scroll and read it out loud:

I cannot believe how tardy you guys are. You’re so close to the grail and yet so far. The National Equestrian Archives in Manehattan has just been reduced to rubble by a stray aeroplane believed to have been flown from earth and completely out of control. This could never have happened had you found the Holy Grail sooner! Nevertheless I will choose to be kind and let it go this once.

Now you are in a top secret part of the prison. This part had been concealed but you have successfully found it. Michael Valdez intended this part of the prison to be a top secret as it contains numerous secrets of his. You will be discovering them as you go along. From here you need to find a way into the Cistern. As always, beware of monsters!

Sincerely,

Twilight Sparkle

“It’s getting late,” said Shining Armour. “But come hell or high water we have to press on and find that grail. There is no time for us to dawdle.”

“And now what has become of our National Archives back home?” wondered Applejack.

“Let the ponies at home fix that for us,” said Derpy. “First things first. Find the Grail we must, and find the Grail we will.”

“First clue,” said Big McIntosh, “this place is still the prison. Second clue, we have to find the exit from here which leads to the Cistern. We have to search extremely hard. Look around and let’s see what we can find.”

This area was again divided into two square sections, interconnected by a hallway. The first section contained five apparently empty cells. The second section had a kitchen, a pantry, and a locked door which had no apparent label.

“This guy’s making it dead obvious for us,” sneered Alberto. “Of all the doors here, it’s so obvious that the non-labelled one is the very door that leads to the Cistern! Too bad it’s locked.”

“Which is why we’ll need to get a couple of clues first,” said Applejack. “I suggest we get into the kitchen first. I hope we can find something useful enough to whack out the lock.”

“Let me see if magic will work,” said Shining Armour, tapping his horn twice on the locked door. Nothing happened.

“Your sword, Alberto,” said Shining Armour.

“Excalibur, be my strength!” cried Alberto, as he attempted to draw his sword. But the sword grew heavy again. “You. Need. A. Strong. Acid. To. Break. This. Lock,” it boomed.

“OK, even easier,” said Big McIntosh. “Let’s go into the kitchen.”

They found the acid boiling in a tub in the kitchen, but there were no available or adequately hardy containers to hold the acid inside.

“Let me go search for it,” said Alberto. “Wait here for me. I won’t be long.”

He went out of the kitchen, but just as he did so…. “GROWWWRRR!”

“Caramba! Another Grunt!” gasped Alberto. “Excalibur, be my strength!”

This particular fight was hard as this Grunt was clearly well-prepared and highly trained, like the one before it. Though Alberto in the end did manage to slay it, he could not have done so without sustaining a bad wound on his left upper thigh.

In the pantry was where he found a glass jar. “Perfetto!” he said, hobbling back to the kitchen next door. “Let’s use this one to put in the acid!”

“You OK, Don Alberto?” asked Big McIntosh.

“Muy bien, gracias,” replied Alberto, gasping for breath.

“You look like you’re bleeding quite badly on your leg down there!” cried Snails.

“My …. leg….. that monster….” gasped Alberto. He staggered a couple of steps more before passing out on the floor of the kitchen. The ponies gave a gasp of horror…..