Being Normal in Equestria

Once upon a time, there was a dude named Guy. He was pretty much your average dude. He had clothes, shoes, a regular day job working as a cashier at a pet care store. He even had average friends, the kinds of friends that occasionally drink a beer or two, but never enough to forget their nights or experience any kind of fun beyond the average melodramatic tones of the lives they lived. Guy was a cool guy. He never really had any notable issues to deal with. Everything was simply meh.

One day, it was particularly bright and sunny. Guy thought this was interesting, as he was used to the average gray clouds that would roll across the treetops day after day. The hair on his arms started to tingle. Guy started to wonder if anything strange was happening, but nothing he could imagine was anything beyond ordinary. After all, why should he expect anything more from a normal day where normal physics apply. Unfortunately for Guy, today was not that day.

The sidewalk under Guy’s feet began to tremble, as if it was slowly losing its solidity. The hair on his arms was on end, as if lightning was about to strike on this bright, sunny day. In fact, it was getting sunnier… colors were becoming stronger… next thing he knew, there was a loud snap, and his whole body felt as if it had been tugged violently into itself at the same exact time as expanding outwardly. He passed out.

Guy woke up to a thumping in his head and moaned. Everything felt… off. He gritted his teeth and noted that they felt strange, maybe stronger than before. Starting to move, Guy tried to move his fingers… except, where were his fingers? Guy’s eyes shot open to have his eyes dilate painfully in the bright sunlight above him. Looking frantically at his hands, he saw… hooves. Being the logical man that Guy was, Guy considered to himself what could have happened to him. The only explanation he could find is that perhaps he had always been a horse, and maybe he was just imagining his life as a human, since he was most definitely awake right now.

Guy finally looked away from his hooves to examine the environment he had found himself in. Sure, he didn’t remember anything about this place, but it could have been amnesia, so he just took it all in. Everything was bright and colorful, cartoonish even. Guy tried to stand up and wobbled on his hooves. Luckily, it seemed that all the muscles were working appropriately. He just had to get used to it for a little bit. Glancing to his left, Guy saw a dirt path leading somewhere into the distance, so he elected to awkwardly walk along it. Guy was determined to have a normal day.

Guy quickly found himself getting used to walking on his hooves. His body shape was clearly designed to make walking an easy task. As he walked, Guy had time to reflect on himself, wondering casually what kind of horse he was, and why he couldn’t remember anything significant about his horse life. It never really bothered him during his walk, though. It was just sort of a passive question. All in all, the day was rather nice. His hooves felt pretty good on the dirt road, and the sunlight warmed his mane comfortably. For a passing moment, Guy thought that perhaps this day was better than a normal day. Perhaps all days could be this way.

Looking around at the bright scenery, Guy remarked upon an amazingly fluffy-looking cloud. It drifted along the sky lazily with a slight breeze. A nice, pleasant, normal cloud. Suddenly, a streak of color streaked through the cloud and caused it to scatter and dissipate completely. Guy wasn’t completely sure what he was seeing, but he could have almost sworn it was an extremely large bird. That thought was dashed quite quickly when he got a better look at the creature that had destroyed the quiet cloud. A flying horse? It was yellow and had a blue mane that almost looked… styled? Guy was beginning to wonder if he would ever see normalcy again. Before he could really react to the Pegasus, it had taken off in another direction, probably to devastate more normal clouds, Guy thought to himself. Now that it was gone, though, Guy considered that perhaps the only thing to really do was to continue on his way.

Guy wondered how long he had been walking for, and he reflected on how he didn’t have his watch, phone, or even clothes. He tried to push those fantasies out of his mind though. Horses don’t need those, after all, and they probably never even existed if what he thought was his life was just a dream. These thoughts plagued Guy’s mind for what Guy assumed was close to an hour later, when he spotted what appeared to be a town in the distance. He considered for a moment that perhaps he would find people there who could treat him to a potential life of a normal horse, perhaps working a field or simply being ridden around by children or ranchers. Guy smiled at the thought of living a normal, horse life.