Being Normal in Equestria

As Guy approached the town, he got a clearer and clearer look at what was happening there, and he wasn’t completely sure what he was even seeing. It looked like a normal town, but the people bustling about were all medium-sized horses… ponies, he might even say. Some of them had accessories like bowties and earrings, and almost all had styled colorful hair in some way or another. This was nothing normal that Guy understood, but he was willing to accept it as his reality, since his memories were clearly faulty. As Guy stepped into the town’s limits, he started hearing what sounded like talking, but he knew for a fact that ponies simply could not talk, so he couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

Suddenly, one of the ponies leapt comically in front of Guy with a huge grin on her face. Guy jumped a bit at how human her facial expression seemed, but he reminded himself once more that this was not the dream world he thought he understood. The brightly colored pink pony in front of him spoke in an excited, high-pitched voice,

“Hello there! I don’t think I’ve met you yet! My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?”

Guy was shocked, to say the least. So much so that he couldn’t move a muscle. The pony had just talked, with English… Guy hoped that all ponies didn’t sound quite so loud as this… Pinkie Pie. Guy stood there and stared at this pink pony, who continued grinning and staring as she waited for an answer.

“You don’t have to be shy. You must be new to Ponyville! Since you’re a unicorn, you probably came from Canterlot? Manehattan? Fillydelphia?”

Guy was having difficulty processing what was coming from this pink horse’s mouth. He was barely able to utter, “U-unicorn?” Strange. Guy found that his own voice sounded the same as he remembered it always sounding.

“Yes, silly! Can’t you see the horn on your own head?”

Guy threw a hoof to his forhead and found himself bumping into what felt like an extension of bone. It would appear he was, in fact, a unicorn. Finally, he was able to respond,

“Oh… sorry, I’m still getting used to things. I think I hit my head, and I can’t remember much.”

“That’s ok! If you remember your name, be sure to let me know! You’re invited to my next party at the Sugarcube Corner, Colt, the Unicorn!” She bounced away before Guy could utter,

“I’m Guy.”

This day was starting to overwhelm Guy. It was just too much abnormal. What even was normal anymore? What happened to his dream of serving customers in a line, going home and having a refrigerated beer while watching a quiet movie? Why was his dream so detailed? Guy just wanted to lay on the ground and cover his face, but he had no idea what to do. He started sweating, and his brow furrowed. Closing his eyes, Guy tried to bring himself back to his dream of normalcy. He wanted to go home to what he remembered. A tear started to form in his eye, and a warmth grew at the top of his forehead. Suddenly, he felt what seemed like a static shock all over his body, and the sun was no longer beating down on him. He didn’t open his eyes though, hoping beyond hope that he was home.

“It’s not very polite to teleport into somepony’s home without knocking, you know,” said a gentle, female voice. She said somepony…

Guy slowly opened his eyes and found that he was no longer on the street, but inside some kind of small library. The pony that spoke to him was purple with highlights in her mane, and she seemed to have both a horn and wings.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to. It’s been a weird day,” Guy started.

“How do you accidentally use a teleport spell? That requires a great deal of focus and practice,” she looked at Guy quizzically.

“I, uh, I have no idea. This is all very new to me. I can’t remember anything before this morning.” Guy found himself feeling completely helpless with his situation, but this pony in front of him had kind eyes that seemed to show a genuine concern. She seemed to think for a moment and then her face lit up.

“I think I know someone who can help you. You should see my friend, Zecora. She lives in the Everfree forest in a hut. You can’t miss it if you follow the path.”

“What’s the Everfree forest?” Guy wasn’t feeling very confident about the idea of what sounded like a witchdoctor.

“I have to go, but I can make you a map if that helps.” The purple pony closed her eyes for a moment and her horn began to glow. Parchment and a quill floated in front of her and started drawing a simple map of the town with relation to the forest and Zecora’s help.

“I hope she can help. Sorry I can’t do more, but I really have to go. Oh, and my name’s Twilight Sparkle. What’s your name?” She floated the map towards Guy, and he tried to grab it with his hoof with no luck. He lifted both front hooves and attempted to grasp the paper in them awkwardly until he decided to simply put it in his mouth. He felt like he must have looked incredibly silly.\

“Guy Colt,” he said through the sides of his mouth. “Thanks a mn-unch” He figured Colt was a normal enough sounding name, and the pink one was already calling him that.

“No problem,” Twilight said as she waved, closed her eyes, and vanished in a flash of what looked like purple electricity.